Latest / Pod Therapy / #349: Intervention Relapse, Being Alone, Jacob Stealing My Wife

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#349: Intervention Relapse, Being Alone, Jacob Stealing My Wife · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: All right, he has a ready to do a thing. Sure,
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: let's do it Sunday, Sunday Sunday.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: This episode is maay possible by our therap partners, Dirty
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: B and Pickets from Fabulous Las Vegas.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: No matter.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: This is pod Therapy, real people, real problems, and real therapists.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: You can submit your questions anonymously at pod therapy dot
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: net or email us at pod therapy guys at gmail
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: dot com. And now broadcasting from the Churn. That's Jim,
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: that's Whitney on Nick.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: It's time for some pot therapy.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Welcome Happy Sunday, Sunday Funday.
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: Well it Sunday for us, Thursday for you people, or
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: Wednesday if you give us money.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: A rare daytime recording.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Time or in a while or weird, I mean it
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: may not could be a Tuesday.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Oh right, because that time that I released it early time. Yeah,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: you've got one fucking job. Do you do this every week?
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: This is multiple times?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Two times? It probably happens annually. It does happen annually.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: That that is a given. I would probably even say
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: three times a year. I will screw up on the
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: posting date.
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: It was Labor Day that threw me off because then
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: I was like uploading everything and I was like.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, today's this day and it wasn't that day, and
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: so he's been releasing episodes a week earlier. It happened.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: It happened twice. It happened.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: No, yes, did it? It might have No, no, No,
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: here's what happened. I released the Patreon one a day
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: early last week. Before that it was the main one.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: The main show came out early. So yeah, anyway, the
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: point is it was Whitney's fault and you're welcome.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's my gift to you take the fall.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: That I'm here to just take the heads.
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: So anyway, welcome to September. Hopefully it's cooling off where
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: you live. It's hot as FUX was ninety one lovely right, No, no,
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: it's not, dude.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: It was one hundred and six yesterday. Yeah.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I don't use the word lovely until about ninety eight degrees.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: You're a big fanily, big huge fan.
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Nick Lache Nicholas, don't get me started, Hi, guys,
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: I'm n that was the right band, right, Yeah.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: It.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Was solid. I was going to try to think of
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: a song and I was.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: Hitting nothing but air and then you pull out Nick,
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, well, I'm not going to fucking one
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: up that, Like, you.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Know, he's citing band members even if I could remember
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: a fucking solid.
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: Asked me to name one more. Yeah, you know what
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: I got. Let's see this name? One from Backstreet Boys?
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Wasn't there a Nick? And Backstreet Boys too?
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: It was? Okay? And he had a little brother that
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: also got famous Carter.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: Yeh yeah, yeah, let's keep going. Can you do what
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: well in sync? I'm sure you can. No, I can
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: do one more from in sync and that is my
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: master j C.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Or j C.
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: Okay, I was thinking of fat one, that guy, another
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: one fotone.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Joey, Yeah, Chris, because that sounds gooding up all right?
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: So now o town, Yeah, nobody's doing town that way.
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: Can you do boys to men or new kids on
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: the block?
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: For me? Okay? Donnie the bad boy? The bad Boy?
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I think? Was it Donnie? Was it Donnie? Because I
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: think it's Mark.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: Wasn't it was Marky Mark? Donny also had a music career. Wow,
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: I didn't know that Kids on the Block. Yeah, I
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: did not know that he was. He was big before
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: Marky Mark. I think, oh wow, I.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: Think isn't Mark the youngest out of all of them?
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Or no, I know, we're all I know, hey supporter,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: he sells tequila here. Very important.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: Well, anyway, if you'd like to hear all about the
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: opening of football season and listen to the hosts reminisce
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: about their time in college and how Whitney was thrown
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: out of a Christian club for impregnating another girl. Patreon
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: dot com slash Sarah story.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: Again, different Patreon.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: There's a number. There's a number of the sultry pillow
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: fight stories.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: It'll happen. We're just haggling on price.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Agreement. Yeah, yeah, get your money, girl, get get paid.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Or she didn't hold out in college. I didn't have to.
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: Put all out for the stories. We've got some great
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: questions here at the start of the month. The first
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: one is a follow up letter from somebody that wrote
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: into us a while ago about interventions, and it says, hey, guys,
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: I wrote in a few months ago about planning an
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: intervention for my dad and wanted to give an update.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Sorry.
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  Speaker 4: If this is too long, feel free to shortened if
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: you'd like. We planned an intervention with me, a few
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: family members, and a family friend with a plan to
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: have my dad go into detox right after the meeting,
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: then go to an impatient program immediately following detox. He
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: was a bit intoxicated at the intervention, but we all
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: took turns reading pre written letters about how his drinking
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: had affected us and why we think he needs to
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: get help immediately. He listened to each of us share,
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: but then at the end came up with different excuses
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: as to why he didn't need to go into a
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: program right now. Thirty days is a long time. He'd
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: just signed up for an online group that he was
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: hopeful about, though he had missed every meeting because he
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: was passed out drunk each day. He wanted to look
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: at other options, et cetera. He has a roast in
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: the oven.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I can't go right now, wash.
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: My hair, the water, the roses to wash my hair.
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: The cable guy's coming. We all reiterated that this needed
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: to happen now, and he ended up agreeing to go.
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: We'd written out a one page summary is collateral to
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: take with us to the hospital, explaining why my dad
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: needed to go to detox, and a few family members
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: went with him to the hospital. At first, they said
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: his levels weren't bad enough to go into detox. I'm
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: guessing that meant his blood alcohol levels. But thankfully we
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: had a social worker that helped advocate to get him
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: into a local detox program that also offered an impatient
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: program that he could do. Right after he went through
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: the detox and impatient program, and before he exited the program,
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: my family and I all met with my dad and
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: his therapist to talk about how we can support him
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: when he comes home. He seemed very hopeful and had
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: a lot of good techniques that he learned from the program.
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: He had several support groups lined up to attend just
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: about every day for when he came home. About a
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: week after he came home, he relapsed. He had just
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: started a new job and showed up intoxicated and was fired.
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: He hasn't attended any of the groups that he had
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: talked about before, and he keeps saying that he hasn't
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: hit rock bottom yet, which is when real change happens.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: Family and I were really discouraged, even though I know
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: that relapse can be part of the recovery process. I
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: just don't know where to go from here. Do we
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: try another rehab program. I also feel torn in how
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: to approach things. On the one hand, I feel like
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: there's not anything I can do to make him change,
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: and he needs to find that internal motivation. But on
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: the other hand, I feel like he's not in a
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: place to be able to make safe decisions, and we
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: need to step up and make those choices for him,
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: such as having him attend another program. I've tried attending
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: a few alanon meetings, and I was a bit confused
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: because nobody talked about addiction.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: People kind of just.
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: Shared about how they could apply the meeting's message to
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: work or their relationship with their dog. Anyway, that's an
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: update from my last email. I really appreciated the advice
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: that y'all gave when we were planning the intervention. If
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: you have any words of wisdom that would be much appreciated.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: Thank you, Anonymous.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: I love the update. Oh yeah, that's good to hear.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: And I think this is a really good question. It's
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: really interesting. It's like the follow up part when I
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: feel like we normally get that initial what do you do?
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: But this is the reality, but it's not so clean cut, like,
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: all right, go to that program and it doesn't happily.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: Ever, after no, this is Yeah, this is all too
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: common reality when it comes to substance use.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: So this is like really familiar. Oh yeah, like what percentage,
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I don't want to.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Say more than fifty, but it because there's so many
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: variables that like even coming up with a number like
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: it kind of makes it hard to sort out.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Make it.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: Make it in your opinion or from your experience.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: Here's the thing that I can say. One of the
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: things that caught my attention was so he goes into
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: detox or a withdrawal management program and then goes right
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: from there into residential It sounds like from there, it
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: sounds like it was here's a list of meetings to
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: go to go do these meetings.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Okay, that that's a real step down, It's not.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: That's too big of a step down. So what we
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: use in substance use treatments we use the ASAM, which
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: is the deep I think there is actually the American
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Society of Addiction Medicine. It's a six dimensional assessment tool,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: and then within that they've got different levels of care.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: So the way that I always like to like explain
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: it to people who don't understand is like, if you
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: were you know, you're on a you go to the airport,
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: you're on one of those moving walkways. Okay, imagine being
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: on one that's going thirty miles an hour. Right, as
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: long as you're walking on it, you're perfectly fine. If
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: you step off of that onto the ground, what can
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: we expect is gonna happen? Shit, But yeah, you're gonna
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: You're gonna tumble, right, So that's kind of what happens
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: a lot of times when you go from like residential
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: treatment to no treatment at all. That's too big of
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: a jump, and and people, it's very common people are
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: going to stumble and they're going to fall because it's
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: just they can't handle that huge drastic shift. So what
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: we use is we've got levels of care that step down.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: So we'll go from like a residential level of care
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: to let's go to a partial hospitalization level of care.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: So treatment, yeah, it's like day treatment and then they'll
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: sleep at home, yeah, or or you can combine that
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: with a sober living environment if they're not ready to
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: go home yet. So now you've kind of split. You've
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: got sober living and day treatment, and then from there
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: you can go down to like an intensive outpatient treatment,
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: which is gonna be like nine to you know, nineteen
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: hours a week, you know, and then from there step
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: down to level one and then you gradually move down.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: So instead of going from thirty miles an hour to nothing,
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: you go from thirty miles an hour to twenty five
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: and then twenty five to twenty and then you slowly
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: step it down. So I don't know, I mean, like,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: that's that's the first thing that kind of caught my
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: attention with this is it's it's a really good point.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: It's really hard for most people. If that's what's going
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: to happen.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: It's also possible that the program said, hey, we want
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: you to do IOP or you to do PHP, yeah,
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: and then your father was like, I'm not going to
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna go.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Do some push ups at home. Many drink of water. Yeah,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: they hydrated.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: I can't tell you how many people that I've I've
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: worked with that, you know, like they go into detox,
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: they go into this withdrawal management program, and then you know,
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: they have three to five days of feeling like absolute garbage,
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: and then on day five they're like, oh, you know what, yeah,
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: I feel great dry. I've learned some valuable lessons.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Thank you. I will apply all of these. I've got
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: it now.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: I'm out.
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: I've just decided I don't think I like drinking anymore.
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: But you've been inside of a hospital this whole time
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: where there was not an option. Yeahsage drunk for three
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: of them. Nobody could cut you off in traffic. Yeah,
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: but your apps right, And we see this all the time.
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: And it's interesting because statistically, I'm not sure quite what
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: the relapse rate is, but we do consider relapse part
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: of the larger picture of what recovery is. And then
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: that's something the writer said that is scientifically true. And
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: the way we look at a sam and the way
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: we look at like stages of change, and we look
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: at like the progress of recovery, relapse is built in
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: on a clinical level. Like we obviously are not teaching
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: patients that they can do that or that that's expected.
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: But like the adult, yeah, we don't tell them. You
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: get one free pass. I'm putting it in your back pocket.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: Use it wisely. You do that with the fake bag
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: of cocaine, that's right.
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Yeah, one time I did this one time, taunting
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: me home.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: One was a lot one was a little more than
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: maybe you should to anybody else. I know, Yeah, therapist.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Now to kind of touch on the relapse rates, because
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: this is the question that I get all of all
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: the time, is everybody wants to know, like what's the
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: success rate, how many what percentage relapse already and it's
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: so hard and one of the things that rehabs one
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: of one of the things that the rehabs used to do.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: Then they've stopped doing it because.
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: It was absolutely Oh, I know what you're gonna say, like, Okay,
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: you see ten of you, Yeah, all right, one of
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: you is gonna make it.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, great idea conversation. Yeah.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: So it's like, okay, cool, well I'm gonna go home,
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: yeast me, Steve, do.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: You want to take this one? And I'll just in
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: the next class my lucky number.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: But it's like, oh, I may as well enjoy the
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: rest of my life. I'm not gonna make it anyway.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: But it's I get what they were trying to do.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: They were trying to motivate, but that was just dumb
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: the backfire.
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: But or the other way I've seen websites for rehabs
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: is like these are our numbers of success and there
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: it's always kind of bullshitty, Like when you're in the
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: field and you see the numbers are like ninety percent success, right,
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: huh do you adopt these people?
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Are they still living with? What is your magic drinking?
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: They're like, we have a special formula that nobody else you.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: This is like the fuck up, which which usually means
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: they've changed the definition of success. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right,
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: yeah yeah, because I mean they're just so too. I mean,
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: what do you define as success? So the example that
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: I was used to use, and this is where you
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: had to like look at you know, when you saw
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: relapse rates and they're saying like eighty percent relapse or
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: whatever like that, you also have to look at how
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: was that data collected.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: So, for example, if if.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: Jim is working with a client and this client is
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: in there for uh for meth and alcohol, and one
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: week after they leave they have a drink okay, and
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: then they're like, oh shit, I can't do this, and
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: then they're clean and sober for the rest of their life,
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: how do you mark that person down in the statistics?
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: That person relapsed, Right, that's a failure, right, even though
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: they may be clean and sober for the rest of
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: their life.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they had one bad day, it's yeah, and so.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: It completely distorts the statistics.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: So there was one research project that I saw done.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: This is probably twenty years ago, but what they did
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: was they looked they changed the definition of success to
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: look at number one longer periods of time, also focusing
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: on what was their drug of choice. So like if
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: if they're quitting meth but then they smoke weed, that
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: we're not going to count that, like that's right, We're
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: going to look at what is their drug of choice,
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: what drove them into treatment, So then they're looking at that.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: But then also what they're doing is they're looking at
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: compliance with medical recommendations, yes, or clinical recommendations, so how
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: well do they follow through with their aftercare plan after
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: leaving treatment?
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: And then they compared those numbers to other conditions. Diabetes
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: is one of them, heart disease was another, and I
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: forget what the fourth one was. But they were looking
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: at compliance with doctor's orders following discharge. And what they
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: found was that alcohol treatment is on par with all
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: of the rest of these disorders, which is anywhere from
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: forty to sixty percent compliance.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: So coin flip.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: So it's it's really about it's more about implementing changes
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: in behavior over long periods of time. And one thing
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: that we know about human beings is that we don't
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: change easily. Hard it is and it's yeah, and it's
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: constant work. It's not like I mean, think of anything
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: that you've ever wanted to do. I mean, the example
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I like to use is think about diet exercise, right,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: if you want to.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Understand what change is hard hard, if you want it's
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: not a comparison, and it's still not a great comparison.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: It's just not a great comparison. But if you want
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: to understand a little bit about the life of an
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: alcoholic or an addict, look at and look at what
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: has been your success rate sticking with a diet plan
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: or an exercise plan, right.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: Diet clinic, and you'll see how successful. I have nutritionist
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: friends who are like, that is the hardest population. You
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: will like go through all of the things, this is
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: your life, Your life is on the line, and they
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: still will struggle to change.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, because because fear is a lousy motivator,
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: it's it's good for an initial motivation like that I'll
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: change my behavior today, right, but then tomorrow there's always that.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: And we've got that.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: We've evolved to kind of work through fear, you know,
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: because we've had to, you know, on the African planes,
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: we've had to hunt animals that could kill us. Like,
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: if we just let our fear stop us from doing things,
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: we would have never survived.
• 17:36
  Speaker 6: I want to make it clear when Nick says we
• 17:38
  Speaker 6: have to hunt animals on the African plane, he does
• 17:41
  Speaker 6: not mean us specifically.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Nick. Nick doesn't do a lot of African plane big
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: game hunt. You don't know that I'm betting, Okay, I
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: don't know.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: I don't know where you're getting that, but I'm making
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: assumption and educated. But so like, if you want long
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: term change, it has to be something that you're going
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: to continue to work on. I mean even I mean
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: even for me for exercise, Like I'll do great for
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: long periods of time, and then I'll have one week
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: where I'm just like, I don't feel like doing anything
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: and I don't and then then I like, then that
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: affects what I eat, and then my eating gets thrown
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: off and it'll go for a month to two months. Yeah,
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: and then finally it's like, Okay, I got to get
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: back on track, and that's me with internal motivation for
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: Changeah yeah, yeah right, So if we're just talking external
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: motivation for change, it's tough. Well.
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: And also, I like what you said about like the walkway,
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: the thirty mile five mile. One of the things that
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: a lot of people don't realize is that detox and
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: impatient is not designed to produce permanent sobriety. It's designed
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: to make it a fair fight so that now you
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: can do the real work. We can't do the real
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: work whenever you're under thirty days sober or you're going
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: through withdraws from your your drug of choice. You don't
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: have the capacities yet. You don't have the cognitive the
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: cognitive capacities yet to do the hard thing and to
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: go through impulse control management and like trigger avoidance and
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: like all the really hard work. So a lot of
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: people think like nahdyde I went to boot camp. You
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: know it's done, And it's like, no, boot camp earned
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: you the right to now be deployed and become a
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: fucking soldier. Like trust me, you don't know shit. Well,
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: it's a Simulation's what it is.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and that's what I always used to explain
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: to a lot of my clients, and residential is like,
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: this is our equivalent, to use a football analogy, this
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: is our preseason. Yeah yeah, this is our time where
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: we can scrimmage, we can run some plays, and if
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: you fuck it up.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: No big deal. Just trying to get you into shape.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we we just we blow the whistle. We say, Okay,
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: that didn't work, let's go back, let's run it again,
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Let's do this instead. And that's a luxury that you
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: have in residential treatment that you don't have in the
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: real world, because when you leave the real world, you
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: can't blow the whistle and do it again.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Game day is after you graduate impatient.
• 20:01
  Speaker 4: And that's what's unfortunate, because, like you said, a lot
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: of people just think I did the work, I did
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: what you all asked, I did these high level things.
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: I shut my life down for this month and I
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: got this done. And that's all very admirable, it is,
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: But this is where the aftercare plan is so important,
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: and the aftercare plan is very rarely just to tend
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: some meetings, we're like, look, yeah, I want you do
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: ninety ninety. I want to do ninety meetings over the
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: next ninety days. Also, this is the name of your
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: outpatient therapist. I want you in groups.
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: Should be a discharge plan.
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: You need to slowly walk it down. I mean I
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: want people in treatment for a year. And that's always
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: been what I've always said, is I you know, whenever
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: day one rehab people or you know, usually that day
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: one because they're sick. But like during rehab, one of
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: the lectures that I used to give is i'd point
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: to the clock on the wall and I talk about
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: like month one is you know, the twelve to the one,
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: like that's your first month, that's here, right, and then
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: from like two to three, I want you doing starting
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: at like a phperor IOP level, and I want you
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: doing a sixty to ninety day IOP, you know, So
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: I want you going all the way up to three
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: or four. And then when we get you down to
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: like the six, that's when I want you just doing
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: one on one weekly outpatient therapy and a shit ton
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: of meetings at least three weeks. And like, you know,
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: I want you doing ninety ninety right, And so like
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: I use that metaphor to try to show them like
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: I don't want you to even contemplate not doing some
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: kind of treatment until you have rounded all the bases
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: and gotten all the way back up at that twelve
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: month mark, when you've got a year sober or not,
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: I'm not necessarily counting that as how many days sober.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: It's like you said, Nick, I'm counting days of work.
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: Are you working programs? Are you trying? That's how you're
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: going to get that mental change. And if I can
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: get you to do that for a year now, I'm
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: feeling more confident that you might be able to discontinue
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: care and keep it up.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: This all kind of reminds me of Madden Football.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Of course, as all things in life should.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I have not played I've got I got
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: a PS five not relevant to the story, but so
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: I got I got Madden Football, and I have not
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: played a football video game probably since college.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah tech mobilesh Not only that, but like you have
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: to know football. I'm supposed to. I'm playing this game
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: and like just put that guy in and go No, like.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: I got to know, Like, oh, I'm supposed to be
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: able to recognize a cover two defense?
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Like what the fuck is that?
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know what any of this ship is so
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: I spent. I've had this game for like seven or
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: eight months. I've I've just now started playing actual gamesmorials.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: I just keep doing the tutorials over and over and
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: over again because I'm like, I don't get it, And
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: then every time I try to play a game, I
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: was like, well, okay, I still don't know what the
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: hell I'm doing.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: I'm not good.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: And that's kind of like I think that's kind of
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: like what residential treatment is is like you just you're
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: kind of learning this piece. It's a same place where
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: you can make mistakes and you're gonna be okay. Yeah,
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: but that's not where the work is done.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the work is really done, you know afterwards. And
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: so treatment is going to be a long term thing.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: So I don't know. Advice to the writer creating motivation.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Do you get back into it?
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: I mean I think you step up or do you
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: start over?
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: In a perfect world, I want the family to come
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: back to Dad and say, we're so proud of you.
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: That was a great first try, and you know what,
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: you toppled over. Man, Let's get back on the horse.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Let's do it again.
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: And if he's like, well, fuck you, I'm not going
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: back to impatient detox all that stuff whatever. Like, okay,
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: what are you willing to do, then let's let's find
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: that because you can absolutely get into IOP right now.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: We could just do that, like you one hundred percent
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: qualify immediately and probably a job.
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah you do, so, like, let's go get you healthy, man.
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: And if he's like, no, I gotta work, be like
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: and again, this is the old thing that we say
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: all the time. Anything you put in front of your recovery,
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: you will lose. So any job you go out and
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: get right now is fucking worthless because if you are
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: not a person who can stay sober, then you're gonna
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: lose that anyway, that's aspective. A billionaire can walk up
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: to you right now and just be like, I want
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: to be my personal assistant. You're gonna work one day
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: a month. I'm gonna pay you a million dollars a year.
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: You will find a way to fuck that up.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Like that is going to be long. Yeah, yeah,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: there is no way that you win this game, you know.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: And so like, you have to get healthy first, and
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: we'll meet you at whatever level you're willing to do,
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: Like we'll give you credit for time served at rehab.
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: Let's let's get back into the IOP thing. Let's get going.
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: So writer, I mean, any amount of pushing you can
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: do I think is correct, and that that question you
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: asked of I'm struggling with, is it our responsibility to
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: push him because he seems like he can't be trusted
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: right now to think for himself. He's unhealthy And I'm
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: on the side of, yeah, that's the right mentality up
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: until it becomes codependency or you're getting too stuck in
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: this other person's bullshit. And at that point you do
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: have the right and sometimes the responsibility to afford them
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: the dignity of risk and to step back and let
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: them destroy themselves. And it is one of the hardest
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: fucking things you'd ever have to do in your life.
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: And that is ideally what allan on is for. The
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: ellen On that I was in was trying to help
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: us resist the urge to dive out and save the
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: person because we had done that a thousand times. It
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: was making us sick, We were becoming mentally unhealthy, and
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: we needed support from each other to allow the other
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: person the opportunity to fail. But if you're not quite
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: there yet. Then I do want to see the family
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: push and say, hey man, you're getting into another program.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Let's go.
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: And even if he fucking drinks on the weekend but
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: then shows back up to the IOP on Monday, it
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: is progress, not perfection.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: That's something. It's something. We got to keep moving the ball.
• 25:33
  Speaker 6: Also, I want to say to Dad and to all
• 25:36
  Speaker 6: of the other addicts that are listening to the show here,
• 25:39
  Speaker 6: don't make the I haven't hit rock bottom yet argument.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: That argument. You're not gonna win with that argument. Now,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: all right, just everybody out there.
• 25:48
  Speaker 6: Yea, When people come to you in an intervention setting
• 25:51
  Speaker 6: or something like that, they're like, hey, you're scaring us.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: We're worried that you're not healthy, we're worried that you're
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: gonna die. All these things say done to fail, it
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: could be so much.
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: Is not a good argument, and they use it all
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: the time, or they point to somebody else they go,
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: you think I'm bad, Right, Okay, you should meet Fred
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: Fred at the bar, who I always see because I'm
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: also at a bargender.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: He's a mess.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: It's like, you know, I used to use this example
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: like you. It's not always everybody take nobody further down
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: the line, like, well, yeah, I drink alcohol, but I
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: don't drink whiskey. Drink whiskey, but I don't use illegal drug. Well, yes,
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: I use cocaine, but I don't use mess. But I
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: don't listen to therapy, but I don't shoot. It's always
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: something that you can go. And that's the other thing too,
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: is like the rock Bottom thing. Drink dish detergent, drink
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: dis deturtion, but I don't but I don't exact bleach
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: not an idiot, but like the whole rock Bottom thing.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Always used to know the ship out of me too,
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: because like a true rock Bottom is death death right.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: So if we're waiting to that point, then once then
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: there's no like.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: You can be worse.
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And there's also a point of no return. And
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: that's the thing that a lot of people don't realize.
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: They're like, nah, I haven't ait rock Bottom. It's like
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: bro rock Bottom is like a black hole when you've
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: gotten too close to it to the point that you
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: realize you're in it. You're not getting out escape, but
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: you are going the rest of the way, and that
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: is the fucking slip slide down to death. So this
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: is your chance to get off the bus, and like
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: you gotta take it.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do like you staying involved, continue to set boundaries.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Just be patient, You're it's a tough situation to be
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: a family member like that. Don't give up on alan
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: On either quite yet, because I give you the same
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: advice i'd give anybody who's going to an AA meeting
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: or an NA meeting, which is that they're all different,
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: you know, So if you go to a few meetings
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: at one location, you don't really like it. If your
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: town city has more than one, try a different night,
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: try a different location, because you're gonna have different populations
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: and meetings are going to be a lot different.
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: So don't give up on allan On is unique to
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: when you go to out Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: In the meetings, they will tend to teach you the
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: philosophy in alan On. That is much less so the
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: case I didn't learn the philosophy of allan On from
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: the meetings. The meetings were very casual and very light,
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: and oftentimes, like what the writer's saying, that was very
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: common that people might have stories about what we call
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: in allan On speak, that the alcoholic in your life
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: is called your qualifier. Like I'm qualified to be in
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: this room, and my qualifier's name is Fred, you know,
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: and so like that that's a word that they gets
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: thrown our all up. So a lot of times the
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: meetings will be about your qualifier, but sometimes the meetings
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: are about your life. And you're like, oh, my daughter's
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: failing elementary or whatever, this this math class, and I've
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: been really stressed because we know that the greater disease
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: that we struggle with is beyond merely our qualifier. It's
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: our tendency to try to control the uncontrollable, and that
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: makes us sick in a variety of areas of our life.
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: So like even your relationship with your fucking dog is
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: on the table. So I would encourage you writer, anybody
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: out there that is in the writer's position. Don't yes,
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: keep going alan on, but I would encourage you to
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: get the books like that that really changed me. I
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: got like the Twelve Principles, I got the big book,
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: and when I started doing that work and reading, then
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: I would go to the meetings, and then I found
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: a sponsor and then it was like, hey, you know,
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to work the steps. I'm trying to do
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: this work for myself, and they were like, great, man,
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: i'll guide you. But yeah, I had to do a
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: lot of it, you know, internally, which is really where
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: it hits. And so I would strongly encourage you to
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: get the literature.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's a really good point. Yeah, because yeah,
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: if you don't get that in the meetings and you got.
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: To get it someplace, you got to get someplace, and
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: in that particular fellowship, you'll get it more from your
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: own work than it was an AA. Yes, people read,
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: but the philosophy gets talked about a lot, you know,
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: and it's very much like passed along.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: Ye.
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: But good luck writer, thank you for the update. We
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: need stories like this because too often our stories are
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: our reactions to these letters and with the the encouragement
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: to get into rehab or something, and it does not
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: continue to paint the reality picture of why this is
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: such a long term battle. So so response letters like
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: this really give us an opportunity to weigh in on
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: the down the road pictures that people also need some
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: really good information on. So thank you for this and
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: good luck, and make sure you're also taking care of yourself. Yep,
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: we're gonna take a quick break and when we come back,
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: we're talking about how to be alone.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: You're listening to Pop Therapy.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: Today's episode is brought to you by Ben Don, Jaliah,
• 30:24
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• 30:30
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• 30:39
  Speaker 2: All right, we're gonna continue taking the n C M
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: HCEE exam.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: God, damn it. So far Jacob is in Jacob's reck,
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: kicking the ship out of both of you, damn.
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: It, and you know Whitney but it all know these things,
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: but isn't required to I am I.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: He's definitely in second place. Was like, Yeah, I'm celebrating
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: the fact that I cannot believe I'm this.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: It's going to end though, because I mean, he can't
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: do it two weeks.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Does he get to carry his points? No, thank god,
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: not to start up. We'd be buried. I don't even
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: remember what the points. There's a mercy rules the point, Jacob.
• 31:20
  Speaker 5: We also were.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: Giving him threes, just getting he was getting three last
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: week he was, okay, we're still getting three because.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: He shouldn't win. Also was one hundred percent.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: Example now.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: All right?
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: In structural family therapy, what is the concept of in meshment?
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: What was that word?
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: Enmeshments? Enmeshment structural family therapy. What is the concept of enmeshment?
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: A type of boundary where family members are overly involved
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: in each other's lives. A type of hierarchy within the
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: family structure. A type of communication pattern between family members.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: A technique used to align family subsystems. I'll take all Okay.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: I really also like that. I answer first.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: I'm going.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: It is. I'm just gonna coattail Jacob.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: Anywhere is it.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Wrong? Together? Okay, here we go.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: What is the primary purpose of a duty to warn?
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: In counseling practice duty it's A to notify the client's
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: family about their mental health status. B To inform authorities
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: if the client poses a danger to themselves or others. SEE,
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: to share treatment details with insurance, come andes, or D
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: to report the client's progress to their employer.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, C and D seem horrible and unethical.
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: Hello, mister absence let me tell you about Jacob's really
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: goodie is way down.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Like the insurance company seems worse. They're awful.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: B Okay, to inform authorities if a client poses a
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: danger to themselves or others.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah it is, No one will know. We're just writing.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: So well, all right.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: During the getting threes on this, I'm still in dead last.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you still can't win.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: That's funny. Okay, call me.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: During the forming stage of group development, what is the
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: primary focus of the group members? A Establishing relationships and
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: determining the group structure. B Resolving conflicts and power struggles.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: C achieving tasks and goals or D concluding the group
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: process A What was it establishing relationships and determining the
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: group structure the forming stage.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: I mean I was going to say, yeah, yeah, sure
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: you are. It is a every time you'll never.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: Know, hey, but at least you guys are getting them
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: right right now.
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: That should be the bit is like, if he's this
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: high up by the half, he has to just stop
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: and we have a chance to catch.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm happy to retire on top, jem take
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: my belt and is up the score? Damn it as
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: it should.
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: Honestly, and he's answering first, he's not copying anybody like,
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: he's just reading the question, going yeah, that makes it.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: And again, like last week, Nick did not send me
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: the answers beforehand.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: No, you're still not.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Fuck We continue to not cahoot, no cohusion going on,
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Give a cahot, don't pollute.
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: How to be alone from Matt? Hey, y'all, how do
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: I be alone without feeling alone? My wife has suggested
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: I go and dine out on my own while she's gone,
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: but I don't want to feel like I'm alone while
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: being alone. Me and my wife just moved across the
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: country from Iowa to South Carolina for her job two
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: months ago. She's a wedding photographer, and we're trying to
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: meet new people and make new friends. Although everyone I've
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: met since our move has been through her her client
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: tell her clientele who are the same age as us
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: and moved to the area in the last few years,
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: they still feel like they are friends of friends. I've
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: said yes to every opportunity we've had to hang out
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: with people, but it's only been a couple of times
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: and not long enough to make a long lasting connection.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: You got to go to those key parties. That's where
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: you make a long lasting connection. Yeah. On to the
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: next question. Yes, moving on.
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: This sets up my dilemma as my wife is heading
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: back to Iowa to finish shooting weddings there that she
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: had previously booked for the next two months. This means
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: I'll be on my own with our two dogs in
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: South Carolina, in a city where I'm still getting to
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: know the people and the places around me. I do
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: go to a gym here where I've met a few people, again,
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: not long enough to make a connection, just long enough
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: to put a name to a face and two random
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: things I know about them. My wife suggests to go
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: out and meet new people, but I'm very much a
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: homebody and enjoy my alone time. However, I do want
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: to make friends of my own. I also don't know
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: the area around us too well, hence why my wife
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: is suggesting I go out and eat on my own
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: somewhere to try the food. Do you have any suggestions
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: for how to not feel alone while restaurant by yourself
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: and how to make small talk with a stranger into
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: a friendship. I know with friendships, time and consistency does help,
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: which is why my plan is to talk to people
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: at my gym still and always say yes to any invitations,
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: any insights would be great. Thanks Matt.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: You guys eat alone, go to movies alone. Do these
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: things very rare?
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: I yeah, I mean I do when I'm on the road.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: Definitely go out to eat by myself. Going to movies
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: was always really weird to me. And when I got divorced,
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: like that was the thing that I was really uptied about.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it was.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: I never I like going through that. It was kind
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: of scary because I was like, oh my god, now
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: who do I go to a movie with? Like I
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: can't go by myself? And then I did it a
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: few times. It's like, oh, this is wonderful.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: You don't have to share.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you like it, you'll go alone. I don't really
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: have the opportunity to, you know, call me.
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: I was just gonna say, you know where this is going.
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: Actually thought about it because because I had Friday and
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: Monday off, okay this weekend, because I was actually supposed
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: to be in Vancouver. But I was thinking about going
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: again to see Deadpool.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: I want to see it. Yeah, I except you, Okay,
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: we'll do that.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: I'm actually seeing that this afternoon by yourself.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Not as much fun.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: So okay, So with this question, it's not just two parts,
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: not necessarily trying to not be alone, but being okay
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: with being alone, but then.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: Also making friends. Making friends. I've been working on making
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: friends lately. Yeah, thank you, I thank you.
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah no, no, no set up please, I want to
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: find my own. So it's really been this joke in
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: our family for the last like year and a half.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: That doesn't help. But like this is why he can't
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: make friends for two hours, that's the friends. I don't
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: know people. Jacob's a better therapist. I lost my doctor.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: You need new friends, Jim toxic. But I've been trying.
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: It's like the joke at our house for a long
• 39:15
  Speaker 4: time has been like I'll go to like I've been
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: trying to use sports to try to find people. And
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: so for a long time, like I would take my
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: kids to like their after school lessons and stuff, and
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: there would be like like a chill sports bar, like
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: a pets kind of thing nearby, and I would have
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: the same exact evening every week where I take the
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: kid or whatever. And so I started, you know, going
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: to the same place and I'd see I think it
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: was like a Thursday and football thing or whatever, and
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: so like I would meet some of the other guys
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: at the bar. But for whatever reason, the only guy
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: I can make friends with is a type of guy.
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: And no matter where I go, I find this type
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: and we get along really good, and like I'm all
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: for it, Like I'm just happy somebody's talking to me.
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: But I have a type of dude friends that I
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: attract and and I went to h right now, No,
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: apparently these are not my type. So this this weekend,
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: I was telling you guys off air, I went to
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: the UNLV alumni tailgate and the only reason I have
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: joined the alumni association was to make friends. And I
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: was like, you know, I need to find other people
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: that are interested in something, and like I work at
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: the school and I really am interested in the sports,
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: so like, let me go find the other people that
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: interested in that, like we'll have a beer and talk
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: about the football game and stuff. So I went to
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: this whole thing and I was like, it was a
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: really nice tailgate. It's a really beautiful tent and instead
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: his great food and great drinks, and like I was
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: just doing that awkward thing where you're just kind of
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: like walking the room and it's pretty big, and other
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: people are sitting and talking and like but I don't
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: know any of them, and so I'm like doing that
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: awkward walk of shame, like looking for an ins. Yeah,
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: and so like I come up to this one guy
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: who's like a younger guy, like probably in his later twenties,
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: and he's sitting alone. And I kind of did a
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: couple of passes by his table and saw he was alone,
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: and so then I kind of like it was like
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: a long standing picnic table. So like definitely, yeah, yeah,
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: I gave one of those willie you know, hey, buddy,
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: let's be friends. So like I go kind of stand
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: at his table and sit there with my drink for
• 41:10
  Speaker 4: a minute. I get a conversation going with him.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: I just imagine you should have just had you should
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: have just had a little note, yeah, my friend, No,
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: just just question mark.
• 41:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And that's the Patreon title excellence.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: Fast forward a couple of hours. You're like, oh, I
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: think you misunderstood what I was saying.
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: I'm pulling the bulletgag out of my mouth crying, were like,
• 41:40
  Speaker 4: I just don't like because friendship is too hard. First,
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: so like I try to talk to this guy, and
• 41:51
  Speaker 4: you know, he puts down the phone and chatty with
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: me for a minute, and he was telling me about
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: college sports and we're getting along okay, but like the
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: conversation starts to fizzle out out and I kind of
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: like feel like, okay, I don't know how to fill
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: the silence at this point, and it's not happening, and
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: so I'm like okay, And so I was like, oh,
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna go get another beer, man, do you want anything?
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: He's like nope, and I'm like great, and so I
• 42:09
  Speaker 4: just kind of use that as my excuse to like exit.
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: So I'm just really striking out, man. But I'm trying,
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: you know, and like I've I've been trying to have conversations,
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: and so I get back in the beer line or whatever,
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: and I'm just kind of like trying to think, like
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: fuck it, you know, Okay, you know, I don't think
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: that guy wants me to keep talking to him, so
• 42:24
  Speaker 4: I won't go back, like I'll give him space. And
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: then all of a sudden, a dude comes over and
• 42:27
  Speaker 4: taps me on the shoulder and initiates a conversation with me,
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: and I turn around and it's my type. Immediately, I'm like, yep,
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: this is gonna work because it's always you. It's always you, always.
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: Fucking find me.
• 42:39
  Speaker 4: I describe this person. So then he gets the talking
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: to me. I'm about to hee talking to me. Super
• 42:44
  Speaker 4: nice guy. He's really giving me space to like chat,
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: and he's making it clear like hey, being very invitational.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: How are you, buddy? Tell me your story?
• 42:51
  Speaker 4: Like in we're chatty and then and so we're chatting
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: and everything's great, and he's like, oh, I'm gonna actually
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: run back to my table really quick and get my drink.
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: I actually came over to to say hi to you,
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: but I left my drink table with my friends. Let
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: me go grab my drink. I'll barry back. And I
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: was like, oh, well no, I don't want to take
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: you from your friends. And he's like, oh well, oh,
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: he just come with me. Then, would you like come
• 43:08
  Speaker 4: sit with us? I was like excellent, Like yes, that's great,
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: and so like I come sit with him and super
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: nice guys. He introduces me to his two buddies and
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: they're all sitting at a circle. Table's a chair, white open,
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: like sit now, man, you know, let's talk.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, this is great. And so I'm sitting
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: down with them.
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: The other two guys also exactly my fucking type, and
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: I'm like, here we go.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: We're doing this now. So I'm talking to these dudes.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: White tie, we're getting white shirt, black tie, bicycle helmet.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: So we're hitting it off. They're hitting it off like
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: I'm getting along with them. They're getting along.
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: With me, and and we're the tailgate wraps up thirty
• 43:48
  Speaker 4: minutes before kickoff, and so they start letting us know, like, hey, y'all,
• 43:51
  Speaker 4: you know we're gonna wrap it up. The band's coming,
• 43:53
  Speaker 4: you know, So we're gonna have the band come stop
• 43:54
  Speaker 4: by the tent and do the shoot and anything we're
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: gonna leave out here. And so I work up the
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: courage and I talked to the guy who initiated the
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: contact with me, and I say, hey, man, like, are
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: you gonna do you go to a lot of these?
• 44:05
  Speaker 4: He's like yeah, And I was like, well, this is
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: my first one. I'm gonna start going to these. Could
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: we stay in touch, like I'd love to, you know,
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: come hang out with you guys when you're doing events.
• 44:11
  Speaker 4: And he's like, yeah, bet you wore my cell phone
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: numbers like yes, you know, is that weird? Like he's like, no,
• 44:15
  Speaker 4: not at all, man, thanks for asking, Like that was
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: in you grab you know types it in great, So
• 44:19
  Speaker 4: shoot me a text, man, like great I do.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: So. Hey, this is Jim, you know from U and V.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: He's like great and so like that was I'm like,
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: oh fuck, I made a friend. I made a friend,
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: Like this is so good.
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: I was so fucking excited, and I'm like, okay, just
• 44:29
  Speaker 4: be cool, man, just like just like walk away, like
• 44:31
  Speaker 4: you have something.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: To do, like just you know, like just don't fuck
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: this up. You can do a gym, like just keep
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: fucking walking. So, like I get out of there, A
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: person say, right now, I know what a normal versons.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: I don't be fucking weird. You guys want to sleep over?
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: My wife said, J'll make pop born.
• 44:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So like I just was like, okay, be cool.
• 44:49
  Speaker 4: So then I ended up sitting alone. So I got
• 44:51
  Speaker 4: a seat for the game and I didn't have anybody
• 44:53
  Speaker 4: to go with, so I went alone. I was only
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: gonna say for the first half. I had to get
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: to a family event. But while I'm at the game, uh,
• 44:58
  Speaker 4: the first quarter gets rolling. I get a text from
• 45:01
  Speaker 4: the dude and he goes, hey, man, we're all sitting
• 45:03
  Speaker 4: together in this other section and h our rose pretty empty.
• 45:06
  Speaker 4: There's empty seats, so if you just want to come
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: back over and join us, I'm sure nobody's gonna take
• 45:10
  Speaker 4: these seats, man, And I'm like fuck yeah, And so
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: like I go march over to the other side of
• 45:15
  Speaker 4: the stadium. I find this dude and like him and
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: his boys like, hey, man, what's up.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: Come sit next to us.
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: This is great, And so I sit next to him,
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: had a great time, great first half. He ended up
• 45:22
  Speaker 4: buying me a drink, like, you know, just like, oh,
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: what do you guys want? And I'm like, oh, nothing, man,
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: I have to drive in a little bit, like I
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: have to get out of here in the half. And
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: he's like, yeah, I'm getting you a drink anyway, dude,
• 45:30
  Speaker 4: and so he walks away. It comes back with like
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: a cocktail, like this is fucking cool.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: So I got roofed and.
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: So okay, that was just a bonus.
• 45:37
  Speaker 5: So it's really working out, guys, Like it's really working out.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: It's exactly.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: How I wanted to work. And it was really funny.
• 45:45
  Speaker 4: And I've been I've been fucking going through it, like
• 45:48
  Speaker 4: second guessing myself because I did a lot of awkward
• 45:50
  Speaker 4: shit and like.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: One of them, I took a picture them.
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: I asked if I could take a picture with them,
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: and they're like okay, Like why do you want to
• 46:00
  Speaker 4: like prove to your wife you're really at.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: The game and I'm.
• 46:06
  Speaker 5: Friend yes, And so I had to be honest just
• 46:10
  Speaker 5: like no, like.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: I want to show my wife that I made friends.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: And they're like okay, like they let me do it.
• 46:16
  Speaker 4: And I totally said it to my wife and she
• 46:17
  Speaker 4: starts cracking up. She's like, why do you always find
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: this man?
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: Why is this the guy?
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: It is absolute retirees like minimum sixty eight years old,
• 46:31
  Speaker 4: Like I mean just and that is my grip. And
• 46:35
  Speaker 4: if I go to a bar by myself, that is
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: my guy, like my guy. It was my my dude
• 46:39
  Speaker 4: at the bar when my with my kids after spoactivities
• 46:42
  Speaker 4: was this old black man and I would like sit
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: one seat away from him, and then over time we
• 46:46
  Speaker 4: would just start talking to each other in between plays
• 46:48
  Speaker 4: and like.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: We became friends. Like so that is my type.
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: It's always like really like retired dude, They're all retired,
• 46:56
  Speaker 4: Like just yeah, there's like, yeah, know, we.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: Just do this because we have nothing else to do.
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: It the time to make friends.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: So that is my type if you were wondering, So okay,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: but that's not a bad thing. Thank you ride that out. Okay. Yeah.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: Most of the guys that I golf with are older guys. Okay, okay,
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: so you hang off the type too. Yeah. And plus
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: if you get close enough, you get in that will will. Yeah.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: Well they're super cool and so I was really excited.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: So now I'm gonna like connect with them on the
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: next tail game.
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: That's why they're asking about the selfie.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: They're like, what what the fuck are you doing? Yeah?
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: I think Also they're like, what are you holding? What's
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: this thing you're holding?
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: Mentioned cell phone? You want my cell phone numbers? Like,
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: that's a very old way to what do you say
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: the digit? My phone number? You want my number?
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: Get them cellular phone.
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: Number, mobile phone wide, web is.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: The world wide anyway. So writer, that's my advice. Okay,
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: good beg friends with old people. Dude, they're ready, they
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: want to hang out. It's a move. They want to
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: make friends. You're not completely wrong. I'm not wrong.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: No, I mean the other thing though, too, is like
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: finding I've said this before too, but like finding it
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: an activity, like that's kind of going to alumni events
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: is kind of an activity, right, Definitely, Like it's not
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: just like you met somebody at a bar and started
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: talking to him, like you're you're active doing something.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know you get somebody in common. Yeah, you're
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: gonna see him again.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: Like for me joining this golf league, this is my
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: second year in this league, and I've met so many
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: people that now, like we've exchanged phone numbers because I'll
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: get like everybody is golfing every weekend and everybody's like,
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: hey we need a fourth Yeah you're interested.
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, connections, there's more people you kind of branch out
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: network into, like oh that one guy Nick we played
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: with one time, maybe he wants to yeah.
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: And I mean like and there's always be when like
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: we played up in Utah Saint George a couple of
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: weeks ago, you know, and like, so I didn't have a.
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: Place to have a sleepover.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm like I had a hotel room.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: They're canceling it because somebody else had a house and
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: they're like, well, hey we got an extra room, you'll
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: come here. I was like, yeah, all right, cool, so
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: you did that. But yeah, I think that's the That's
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: one thing I how to just handle just being alone.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: I think the more you just kind of do it
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: and you just kind of become comfortable with it and
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: you can kind of keep yourself occupied, then it just
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: doesn't like.
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: It only has meaning if you give it meaning. Right.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: You know, if if you are sitting there eating at
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: a restaurant alone, and you're sitting there thinking soup, yeah,
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: thinking that everybody else is looking at you and thinking
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: you're weird, then it's going to feel that way.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: But in reality, no one even notices.
• 49:38
  Speaker 6: Let me, let me give you some training wheels for
• 49:39
  Speaker 6: going and eating at at a restaurant alone. Uh to
• 49:43
  Speaker 6: two steps. The first is go to a restaurant with
• 49:46
  Speaker 6: like a bar type bar type seating.
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: UH.
• 49:52
  Speaker 6: Doesn't have to be a bar. For instance, like Chipotle
• 49:55
  Speaker 6: Applebee's they have they have a bar the Chipotle that
• 50:01
  Speaker 6: that's by my house. They have like a bar of
• 50:03
  Speaker 6: seats in the front and they just have stools in
• 50:05
  Speaker 6: front of them and whatever. You Yeah, and so sit
• 50:09
  Speaker 6: at the bar, high tops and earbuds. Oh, and just
• 50:13
  Speaker 6: just sit there. And this is not a make friends. Uh,
• 50:17
  Speaker 6: like hanging up by yourself feelings. Yeah yeah, and uh
• 50:20
  Speaker 6: but like sit there and listen to a podcast or
• 50:22
  Speaker 6: something and it's so nice and relaxing, like say at
• 50:27
  Speaker 6: the sushi bar or something and you'll listen.
• 50:29
  Speaker 4: To Yeah, the sushi bar move. That was so when
• 50:35
  Speaker 4: I made my old black friend is what he prefers.
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: He told you that himself.
• 50:44
  Speaker 4: But like you know, a lot of times he wouldn't
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: be there at the bar, so I would go to
• 50:47
  Speaker 4: the sushi place.
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: I'm saying that just sit there with my my PUDs
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: in though, and that was great, just.
• 50:53
  Speaker 4: Sushi for one. It was a good time, Like that
• 50:56
  Speaker 4: was alone time. But I don't know, I agree with you.
• 50:59
  Speaker 4: I feel like you've got to occupy your mind though.
• 51:01
  Speaker 4: If you're just sitting in an empty room with nothing, dude,
• 51:03
  Speaker 4: that's tough.
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, unless I kind of like what your wife said,
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: try some new restaurants and then just be really present
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: with that, Like what kind of food are you? Is
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: it kind of a foodie restaurant? You're not going to
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: Applebee's or whatever, Like, you know, trying new food different places,
• 51:18
  Speaker 3: especially kind of different cultures like South Carolina's got to
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: have unique foods. So just being present with what you're
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: doing I think helps because so much of our our
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: mind nowadays is distracted. Yeah, and we're looking, we're like
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: searching for that little dopamine hit that connection, And so
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: I think just sitting with like, yeah, I ordered a drink,
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: I really love I'm looking at the menu, I ordered
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: my food kind of people watch a little if you like,
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: like just be very present and sit in that, and
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: I think that would be helpful. But sitting at a
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: bar as far as meeting other people, I think that
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: does diffuse awkwardness quite a bit. You can chat with
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: the bartender a little bit. Other people say, even if
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: it's a couple sitting next to you, like, oh yeah,
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: my wife's like traveling and I just wanted to try
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: this place out, Like you.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: Can third, you know that's different drinks minimum then you still.
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: Lastly, you mentioned that you have dogs. I mean, I'm
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: pretty sure going to dog parks and stuff is like
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: the whole thing. I don't have dogs, so I don't
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: know that, but I think that's that's a whole You
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: don't want.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: To make friends with dog park people. Oh they're all
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: garbage people.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: Sanitation engineer.
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: I would say though, that going to the gym is
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: probably not a great way to meet people.
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: Oh really, if it doesn't work out, you still see
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: them at the gym all the time.
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well I feel yeah, well not only that, but
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: like I see the same people all the time, but
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: everybody in the gym is wearing earbuds, right, I know. Yeah,
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: And so like unless there's a public space where people
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: kind of hang out afterwards or before working out and
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: you kind of chit chat, it's really hard to strike
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: up a conversation with somebody because then they're they're doing
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: something and then you want to say something. They got
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: to hold on, got to take out their mind.
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: And I feel like you're busy, you know, like if
• 53:06
  Speaker 4: you're working out, Like I don't want to interrupt your
• 53:08
  Speaker 4: set or try to make you talk to me when
• 53:09
  Speaker 4: you're breeding intentionally and you're.
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: Here to work, you know, and I feel weird about
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: trying to talk.
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: I think the exception to this is that if any
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: place you are at consistently where you're seeing.
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: Over time people over time, that's a long game.
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, then yeah, then you start having those conversations. It's
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: on your way out.
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, eye contact like every day, come in at ten
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: am and this guy's on the treadmill, and like over
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: time you're just like a little nod like, oh hey.
• 53:33
  Speaker 4: Like you did the dude nod knew she did? Did
• 53:37
  Speaker 4: the chin up? Until you really know him, then it's
• 53:40
  Speaker 4: the yeah. And then when you really know him, give
• 53:42
  Speaker 4: him the howdy partner. Oh trust me, I know a thing.
• 53:47
  Speaker 4: Or if you can point up one eye, give one
• 53:50
  Speaker 4: of those, you know, then he's he gets it. Then
• 53:53
  Speaker 4: you spit in your patuone touch tips.
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: Also, you'll just moved there two months ago. That's like
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: a pretty short window, you know, give it some time.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: Meetup dot com.
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: I'm always a big fan of like people hunting down
• 54:13
  Speaker 4: social groups on there. They seem to be very open door.
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: Less retirees there gym.
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Bob.
• 54:19
  Speaker 4: But in South Carolina retiree state, isn't that one of
• 54:21
  Speaker 4: those like cheap ones that people like Myrtle Beach aery. Yeah, dude,
• 54:24
  Speaker 4: that's the party, go crash those people like early bird special.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: That's what you want to do. You want to be
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: at the sizzler at four thirty ps. That's that's social hour. Dude,
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: did you do like.
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: A hiking group years ago. Yeah, So I had some
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: friends who moved to a new state as a couple
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: and they're like in their late thirties, and they joined
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: a hiking group there, and they said that almost everyone
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: was like retiring in that group.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: I was like, really, there was there was a mix.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: It was a hiking group.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: There was there was a mix. It really depended on
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: the difficulty of Yeah, if you do like a like
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: a what do they call like it.
• 55:08
  Speaker 4: Was rated like a one two incline as opposed to
• 55:11
  Speaker 4: like a four or one, which is exactly my speed,
• 55:14
  Speaker 4: Like that's what I want to do anyway.
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the state they moved to, I don't think there
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: was a lot of difficulty spiritually, the more more flat
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: like Iowa.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: It's funny you mentioned this because I was thinking about you.
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: And when I got out because I had Friday, Friday,
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: and Monday off.
• 55:41
  Speaker 5: Afterwards, he hates me and then he's like, all right,
• 55:43
  Speaker 5: so get the funk out.
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: Like you can't keep doing this, Like I have feelings too, person,
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: leave the ball gag, get out to this gym.
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: Your friends have this.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: I had had one Friday and day off. I'm taking
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: a little time away from golf, so.
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: I kind of have these weekends.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was like, we need to work on
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: this song, this pot therapy, we gotta do this intro music.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: And here's the thing, like, I don't want to just
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: do something and then send it over to you because
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: you're not gonna like it.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, don't send it to gym. You need to me
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: in the show.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: The only way he's going to agree to this is
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: if he has a part of it.
• 56:27
  Speaker 6: But I suggesting that Jim doesn't have to to constitutional democracy.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: Vibes the government.
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: But we need to get together and just collaborate. Okay, okay,
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: just the invitations out there, so don't say that you
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: don't have to.
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: Bring your guitar over and let's work the seer. Let's
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: do it.
• 56:51
  Speaker 4: So theler this is different though, because I do want
• 56:54
  Speaker 4: to hang out. I don't want to rewrite the song.
• 56:56
  Speaker 4: So is this where it's like, Oh, I thought you're
• 56:58
  Speaker 4: gonna say, hey, we should go to Wendy's inny Get
• 57:00
  Speaker 4: Oh fuck, yeah that sounds cool. It's like, oh, we
• 57:02
  Speaker 4: should do this whole thing, Like, no, let's do that
• 57:04
  Speaker 4: and we'll bring our guitars well, serenade when whatever happens
• 57:08
  Speaker 4: as we try to write anything.
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: Anyway, writer, good luck on this. You know it is
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: a real thing. It's so relatable.
• 57:14
  Speaker 4: I would really encourage like meetup groups, meetup dot com,
• 57:17
  Speaker 4: Facebook groups. That's a great way to start, if you
• 57:19
  Speaker 4: can find something that has kind of a regular thing
• 57:22
  Speaker 4: it's surrounding it, Like panthers North Carolina Panthers are really
• 57:26
  Speaker 4: big out there, which is just the Carolina Panthers.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: They belong to both states.
• 57:29
  Speaker 4: But like if there's like a social group about that
• 57:31
  Speaker 4: that you could start like showing up and being a
• 57:33
  Speaker 4: part of it and just using Sunday football as a
• 57:35
  Speaker 4: veneer to like hang out with people whatever it is.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: That would probably help and go a long way.
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: But I had one other thing I just thought of too.
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: This has come up with quite a few of my
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: clients when they're talking about making friends, because it is
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: a consistent challenge. Yeah, with a lot of people, even
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: really young people. But they will say something like, oh,
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: I reached out to this person or maybe connected with
• 58:00
  Speaker 3: them at a football game, but they don't do that
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: next step because they're so in their head about what
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: the other person will think. Kind of what you described
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: in your scenario, and so I kind of try and
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: push and encourage them, like it's okay for you to
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: be the one to like, hey, what's up? Like that
• 58:15
  Speaker 3: outreach text. I think everyone's waiting for the other person
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: because they're so worried about like annoying the other person,
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: or you know, they don't want to hear from me.
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: I'm like, send a couple, like send one or two.
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: If they don't respond you after two, Okay, I got
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: the message loud and clear. But like, try and sit
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: with being okay, being the outreacher and as much as
• 58:36
  Speaker 3: you feel comfortable doing that. So I think just saying
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: that out loud is important because everyone's thinking, I don't
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: want to bother the other person, but I don't have friends.
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: Everybody's nervous. Yeah, anyway, that was join a ARP that
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: changed my life. You know, like I'm just finding everybody now.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: It's pretty cool, settled in earnestly. Did you.
• 59:00
  Speaker 4: Were you wearing your I like to flag it, yeah,
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: just you know, just like to signal you know, my
• 59:07
  Speaker 4: AARP leather jacket.
• 59:08
  Speaker 6: Also, if you make friends with old people, even if
• 59:10
  Speaker 6: you make an ass of yourself, they're gonna die.
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: And then it's like reset you'll find another one.
• 59:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we are gonna take a quick break and when
• 59:22
  Speaker 4: we come back, we're gonna talk about how to stop
• 59:25
  Speaker 4: Jacob from stealing my wife.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: You're listening to Therapy.
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: Today's episode was brought to you by Ben Don li Leah,
• 59:33
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• 59:38
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• 59:48
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• 59:49
  Speaker 1: All right, here we go.
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: In multicultural counseling, what does cultural encapsule encapsulation refer to?
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: Cultural encapsulation A UH the counselor's understanding and UH integration
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: of multiple UH cultural perspectives. B the counsellor's tendency to
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: define reality according to their own cultural assumptions see the
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: client's ability to adapt to different cultural contexts, or D
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: the client's rejection of their own cultural identity. Cultural encapsulation.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: I have a feeling we're gonna end up on different ones.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: I don't like this one.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: Nascular.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: It's not fun anymore. I'm still having.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: It very clear, even if I missed this one, I'm
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: having a really good time with this. Cultural encapsulation. Is
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: it a the counselor's understanding and integration of multiple cultural perspectives,
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: the counselor's tendency to define reality according to their own
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: cultural assumptions see the client's ability to adapt to different
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: cultural contexts, or d the client's rejection of their own
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: cultural identity.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: Well, you reread it, and I chose a different one.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 6: So my math on this is I can't decide if
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 6: I want it to be about the counselor or the client.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a fair.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 6: Because like it's a it's a it's a you know,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 6: it's a therapy term. Most of them are about the clients.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 6: Most of the most terms. I feel like most of
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 6: these types of things would be about the patient. Uh,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 6: but then again, I like one of the I like
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 6: one of the counselor answers as well, and I don't
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 6: really like the and I don't really like the patient answers.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: That's it gonna be. I'll go a Okay, hey, I'm
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: not happy about it, though, I'm not as sure as
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: I have. Like, honestly, most of the other questions and answers,
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: I've been really sure. Yeah, I'm really not sure about
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: this one. Damn.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: I the first time you read it, I was A
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: and the second time through I wanted to be.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: So I'll go B, and I kind of want D
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: honestly as well.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 3: You want you love, you love, I'm going to go B.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: I'm with you. I'm going to go be. Oh, the
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: therapists are coming back.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: The client, the counselor's tendency to define reality according to
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: their own cultural like that.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: That's tough. That they were all very viable.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: I would have said if I.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: Didn't shift it okay? Is that what we're calling it
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: in the air?
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: What is the primary characteristic of avoidant personality disorder that
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: differentiates it from social anxiety disorder? Different What difference differentiates
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: avoidant personality disorder from social anxiety disorder? A persistent fear
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: of social interactions, B avoidance of occupational activities that involve
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: significant interpersonal contact see a pervasive pattern of social inhibition,
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: feelings of inadequacy and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation, or D
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: specific specific phobia towards public speaking.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: I don't like any of those. Is there none of
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: the above?
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 3: No, it's avoidant personality disorder.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, So what makes a primary characteristic that makes avoidant
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: personality disorder different from social anxiety disorder?
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: Good fucking logre. What were the options again?
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: Persistent fear of social interactions, avoidance, avoidance of occupational activities
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: that involve of significant interpersonal contact, A pervasive pattern of
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and hyper sensitivity to negative evaluation,
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: or D specific phobia towards public speaking.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: A okay, C between C and D.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 7: I know, I.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: That's funny because D would be the one I would
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: eliminate right away.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: Right, specific phobia.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 4: But then I'm like trying to figure out anything that
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 4: stands out is not going to.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: Be part of the social side. Right, the specific phobia.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 4: Is close enough for IVERY think, well maybe, but that
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 4: language is problematic. I'm probably gonna stick with this. Yeah,
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 4: I'll probably go see.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah it is C five to.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: Wee to do this.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: All right? Last one?
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: In the context of object relations theory, what is the
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: concept of splitting object relations theory? What is the concept
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: of splitting integrating positive and negative aspects of the self?
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: B Viewing people or situations as all good or all bad.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: C Developing a cohesive sense of self or D projecting
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: one's own feelings onto others. B.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: My brain hurts.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: I think I'm beyond this one too.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: What was BU viewing people or situations as all good
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: or all bad.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: For?
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 3: Object permanence splitting, splitting in object relationships, creations, theory.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: Splitting, neo freudianism.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 3: I'll just say be because I don't want to.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: You're all correct, alright, good game. Well it was a theory.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 6: It's what I What I like on that one is
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 6: the it's a it's a theory in there, so like
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 6: we're already, uh, we're in the classroom now, we're we're
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 6: talking theories now, and so uh splitting like making everything
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 6: black or white? Sure, in like theoretical land like that.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 6: That seems like it works for.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: One wrong.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: Because to me, that seems too much like a cognitive
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: distortion fit with like CBT. Yeah, so it's like that
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: seems like they couldn't.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: Overlap it much, but oh yeah it does it does it?
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 4: How to stop Jacob from Stealing My Wife from therap
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 4: Producer Kevin c Hey Whitney Nick Jim and especially doctor
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 4: Jacob I've got I've got a unique problem for y'all
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 4: to solve. Since you asked for more questions in the
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 4: backlog of this week's episode, I figured it was time
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 4: that I wrote him for background. My fiance and I
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 4: attended Scoopfest this past year. It was so fun meeting
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 4: a few weeks ago. Early bird tickets available for sale
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 4: right now?
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 6: Oh shit, years damn until how early bird price is
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 6: available till Halloween?
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 4: Oh wow, that's a steal, Get on it. A few
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 4: weeks ago we were discussing our upcoming wedding and our
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 4: life after the wedding, when I said that I was
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 4: probably going to start going gray before her. Below is
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 4: an approximate retelling of the dialogue we had. Okay, are
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 4: you going to be okay when my hair starts to
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 4: gray before yours?
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: Her? As long as you grow it out really long? Me?
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: What why her? Jacob awakened something in me as speak
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: dress me. Well, if that makes you happy. The only
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: problem is I think I've still got.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 4: A few years before I could possibly have the same
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 4: flowing locks that Jacob has. Do you have any suggestions
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 4: to save my relationship? In the interim any experience in
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 4: waiting until your partner's ideal physical specimen.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: Wishing you all the best, Kevin Chamberlain, their producer. Okay,
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: you gotta just.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 2: Stay the hell away from Scoopfest. That was your last
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: scoop fest.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: You need not go back.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 3: I'll I'll sneak some die into Jacob's shampoo bottle.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you try to darken Jacob for you, Kevin, how
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 4: long did it take to grow it out? Because I've
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 4: seen there's photos of you in your house short hair, Yeah.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: But fast.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 3: I want to see a picture of you often.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: Will you have to trim it? I'd go in these days.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 6: I probably could win like once every couple of months,
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 6: just like it takes five minutes. I was going to say,
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 6: just that at home, she could letter.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 4: He doesn't let her scissors around him touching this mainhake
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 4: cut my hair one time.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, that was no moms, the long gray that's
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: the move.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: This reminds me of a story. So one of my
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: one of my golfing buddies. Uh, he grew up a
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: fundamentalist Mormon. Okay, okay, in that the same little town
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: where what's his name? Oh, Orange Warren Jeffs.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, his dad has like fifty wives.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, so he's he's related hundred some children.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, jesus.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 2: His dad is also like a multi millionaire, Like I
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: mean you have to be yes.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, does he actually have that?
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: All goes to So so we went to support that lifestyle.
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 2: Went to my friend's wedding and the reception was at
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 2: his dad's house, one of his one of his houses,
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: which he kind of refers to as his party house.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 3: How many children are in this house in the party house?
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: Fucking packed? I mean here was packed full people. But
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: it's like it's near. It's actually just down the street
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 2: from Mike Tyson, like so like overlooks the entire valley,
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: like just this beautiful house. So anyway, his dad is
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: definitely a womanizer.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: So yeah, like and like the younger the better.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 2: So Laura, myself and Laura and my other friends, we're
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 2: sitting in the backyard, are still there in the pool
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: by the pool, and we're just she's a joiner, We're
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: just we're just sitting there talking whatever. And then his
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: dad comes over and so, uh, my buddy Jack introduces
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: himself like, hey, you know, we play golf with your son,
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: blah blah blah. This is Nick and Laura blah blah blah.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 2: And so he starts talking, and he kind of starts
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: talking to Laura and the way he's positioning himself like
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 2: it was all of us kind of like in a circle.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: And then he slowly just that comes like towards the
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 2: Senate And after about two minutes, I'm looking over his
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: shoulder to look at Laura, like he's literally himself between
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: the two these guys. Oh yeah, okay, the only ones
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 2: seeing this.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 4: When that happens, I'm like, take your shot. I mean, honestly,
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 4: you're go for it, man, Like this is where we
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 4: find out. I mean, there was a part of me
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 4: that was like part of this house could be mine.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: I have a wing. You can't hang out with her
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: all the time.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 4: You're gonna need a sew Like I'll step in get
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 4: out whenever you guys rereade a party.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So in short, stay away from scoop fest. Yeah,
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: don't do that. By tickets away.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 4: By tickets and Scoop get get the long hair. No,
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 4: I think you get the English judge wig the barrister
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 4: wig tail in the back with the little ribbon on it,
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 4: the curls on the side. Yeah, you do that, dude,
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 4: and you're your woman's gonna be like, oh fuck, Jacob,
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 4: like this is presidential that's.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: What he's trying to avoid. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 4: Where do people get their early tickets for scoop Fest
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 4: Hay scoops dot com. Just Hay scoops dot com.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, any experience in waiting until your partner's ideal physical specimen.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 2: I I I kind of like the idea of trying
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: the wig and then maybe she'll be like, oh, you know.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: What, I don't like that. Yeah, I like how you're
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: actually not too bad.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 3: That's very optimistic.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 4: No, I don't know that any I mean, I think,
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 4: with very rare exception, most people are not their partner's
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 4: ideal physical specimen, in part because I think your tastes
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 4: also change, oh for su right, you know, like if
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 4: you had to dream, you know, your dream girl when
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 4: you were sixteen is not your dream girl when you're forty,
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 4: you know, and so like even the things that you
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 4: find attractive, like all that stuff I think really changes.
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 4: So I think it's an unrealistic expectation to tell yourself
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 4: like I really hope that I can be that. I
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 4: think it's actually really healthy to accept that perhaps you're not,
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 4: but you're the one they chose, you know, and like
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 4: there's a partnership here, And I think that that's a
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 4: sign of really healthy relationships when they can tease like
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 4: this kind of stuff and say like, oh, you know
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 4: Jacob or you know my celebrity crush is you know
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 4: this guy or whatever, and it's like, I think that's
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 4: really healthy. Like I like to see that kind of
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 4: stuff with couples that I've met way too many couples
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 4: that are very fragile about that shit, Like really, once
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 4: you just go fucking marry him.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: And like he's a podcaster in Las Vegas.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you are a po podcast in Las Vegas.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: That's just unattainable.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I could never I could never be worthy someday,
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 7: trust me, I've tried.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: My podcaster will come.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 4: I mean, if acually gets out of the way, I'm
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 4: on deck anyway, Kevin, there is no hope, So definitely
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 4: get a prenup.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: I think that's probably I think wig attached to hat.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 3: Oh there you go, yeah, put on little advisors.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: With the hair down the side. Yeah, at least the
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: merchant start with Jacob. Oh, yes, that's great if I
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: had a supplier for it.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 4: No, I think at least start with that in the bedroom, Kevin,
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 4: you know, see, you know, ease into it. Just do
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 4: the Jacob cosplay. You know, get your pair headphones.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 3: You know, just the first time you've ever heard that
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 3: Jacob Jacob cosla all the time.
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a kid, a kid at the Adam and
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: Eve store.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 4: As we do get to the end of the show,
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 4: wouldn't remind you you could sign up for more at
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 4: patreon dot com slash therapy. You can get the extended
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 4: show ad free a day earlier, as enjoy our live
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 4: chat discord community and our weekly deep dives, interviews, skill shares,
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 4: research around ups and rants, and quick note on this.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 4: So I'm one of those people I listen to podcasts
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 4: all the time. I sub so many different podcasts. I
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 4: have never patroned any and like for me, it was
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 4: like I would listen to these shows that I live
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 4: on like they are part of my week. I care
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 4: about the host, I enjoy the content, and I would
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 4: just never put any money in it because what they
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 4: do is they say, hey, go to our Patreon, you
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 4: can get these extra things, and for me, I'm like,
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 4: well I don't want the extra things. Yeah, I'm getting
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 4: exactly what I want. I skip the ads. I don't
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 4: really care about ads. They're pretty easy to skip, and
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 4: so I just never cared. And the other day, a
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 4: couple weeks ago, actually I was listening to a podcast
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 4: were my favorites, and the hosts were taking a beat
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 4: to do their promotion and say, hey, be really great
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 4: for support us, and one of them just said something
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 4: that really actually hit me where he was like, look
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 4: you pay Jim.
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: Hey Jim, I'm talking to you.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 4: But it said something to the effect of, like, look,
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 4: if we're part of your week, if you feel like
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 4: this is good for you and like this, you like
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 4: this kind of content, and you get more from that
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 4: from like maybe your Hulu subscription or some bullshit that
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 4: you just keep in the background, and you know, we're
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 4: an hour an hour and a half of every week,
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 4: we're up to like six eight hours of your life,
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 4: Like put something on that even if you don't need
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 4: the additional stuff, Like it really does mean a lot
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 4: to us because when we see those names show up,
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 4: it isn't about the dollars so much as it's about
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 4: this is an actual person that listens to our show,
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 4: because we can see the numbers like in the systems,
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 4: but who knows.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 3: Who those small business It really means a lot.
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 4: When you read a review or you see a name
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 4: show up on the thingy, it is always an exciting
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 4: moment for us. We get the email from Patreon and
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 4: it says, hey, Bob Smith is now a five dollars member,
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 4: and it's always really exciting to be like, oh my god,
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 4: that's so awesome. Like even though that person might not
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 4: show up in the discord, even though they may not
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 4: even want the extra content on Mondays, even though they
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 4: don't even care about skipping the episode's ads or whatever,
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 4: it just means a lot. And so when I was
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 4: listening to that, it really hit me because I was like, fuck, yeah, dude,
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 4: I listened to this podcast eight hours a week, the
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 4: show that I was talking about. I have subscriptions and
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 4: shit for fifteen twenty bucks to fucking HBO and Peacock
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 4: and also the bullshit just so I can watch like
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 4: one football game or whatever's gonna air. And I think, like,
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 4: I don't even know the fucks at NBC. I don't
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 4: know who the fuck owns Netflix, and I give them
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 4: my money. I know the guys on this podcast. I
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 4: like the guys on this podcast, and if I could
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 4: throw five bucks at them, that's a that's more personal
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 4: content to me anyway. I really, if I could choose
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 4: who gets fifteen bucks out of me, I'd rather be
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 4: these guys. Yeah, and just it really hit me in
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 4: so I actually had patron to show for the first time,
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 4: and it's like, yeah, you know, and I don't necessarily
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 4: wanted the extra stuff, but anyway, that that whole process
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 4: happened in my mind and I thought, I'm going to
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 4: bring that up to our listeners too, you know, because
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 4: I'll bet you that that does resonate with a lot
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 4: of people, resonate with me.
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: Ah, so you can do the year long memberships. That's
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: neat too, the show you to do that, Yeah, you
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: save a little money the year. I don't think so much.
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 4: I think it's an option when you check out and like, so, well, no,
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 4: but like we don't have to set that up on
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 4: our end, no, activate it, No, I don't think so
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 4: I'll double check. Yeah, yeah, because there is the option.
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 4: I remember seeing it before, and I don't think I've
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 4: ever told it, no, you can't do that, and I
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 4: think we do have people that do, and a lot
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 4: of shows will do. Like the Patreon rule is like, oh,
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 4: here's a dollar per episode that you publish, and so
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 4: you're kind of rewarding them every time they put the
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 4: pencil down and work about therapy. We've never done that.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 4: We've just made it a month thing. So even if
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 4: you're a five dollars member, like in true Patreon terms,
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 4: you're a dollar a show member, you know, but like
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 4: we just always made it easier, just make it a month.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: That way.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 4: It was like, look, you know, we're not if we
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 4: do extra content in a month. We don't want you
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 4: to be like, oh should I didn't budget for that,
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 4: you know, Like we always felt a little nervous about it.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 4: So we're like, look, just it'd be great if you
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 4: joined us. But anyway, So just those are some thoughts
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 4: on that patreon dot com slash therapy to throw some
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 4: bucks in the hat and just join the party. We
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 4: do have some new therapods to celebrate who's new.
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: To the therap party. We got Manuel Cava.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 2: We just pronounced Manuel Manuel Cavazos. Yeah, that party email, okay,
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 2: and Amanda h.
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: Lates pronounounced Amanda. Oh, gotcha, gotcha? And the H is
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: silent Amanda. No, that's right, is Amanda. Actually you might
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 1: not have the look at it because you might have
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 1: to set up the yearly thing. Oh yeah, I don't
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: see how to. I don't see how to do yearly
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: on yours yet.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a cool idea, though it is the second
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 4: week of the month, which is one week later than
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 4: we usually think.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: All of our therapods and theradactyls.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 4: Thank you University, Jeff Robert Paulson, Polygon, Colin Scoops you're
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 4: not Corey Owens, Joseph Bengrazio, Christine Phillips, Gavin Bristow, Kerry Terhrk,
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 4: Stacey Westerland, Kiwifruit, Scoop, James K. Craig Little Take an
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 4: Evy Podcast, Don Door, John Hunter, Scoop Atron, Todd Canfield,
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 4: Felicia Butler, David Sorensen, Shayla Bullock, Lauren Izzo, Stacey Coleman,
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 4: Adam Petanuzzo, Matt's Lenegren, Scoopater, Ascending, Ian Soto, Jessica Seiphers, Lee,
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 4: Popsicle That, Josh Guy, Doctor Scoop, Little Mom and Ninja Scoop,
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 4: James Dawson, Sarah Olo, Grumpy Lake, Mead Park Ranger, Sam Buck,
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 4: Karen McCulloch, What Weekend, Some, Nobody, Lila b Gay, Do Crimes,
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 4: Kelly gagn BP Nippy, Brian Emra, Matthew Johnson, Alec Lancaster,
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 4: j D. Congan, A Literal Pickle, Matthias Vanda Brandt, James Hubbell,
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 4: Andreas Savedra, Molina, Max The Ginger, Scoop, Ken Tinsley, Water Girl,
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 4: Stacey Protecting Scoop, Julius kappell a no A Nurse Smells Funny,
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 4: Matthew Cubick, Chad Chad The Safety, Lad Walker Fluke, Philip Guiton,
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 4: Tim Mystery Almost Doctor, Nurse Joy, Joey my Bad, Duffy
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 4: The Slowly Getting Their Therapist Bear, Joel McMillan, Christopher de Gersey,
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 4: Kirkagim Kirk Grim, Irvin Sanson, Tricia Ortiz, Chris Conway, Melissa Lgeisler,
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 4: Kirsten Johnson, d J. Siewert, Mississippi Hippie scott A, Patty
• 1:20:38
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• 1:20:42
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• 1:20:47
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• 1:20:53
  Speaker 4: Amanda h Adam Blaze, Robert Cole, Kenneth Wong, John Finlayson,
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 4: kJ Mister Poth, Harvin Perry, k Pizzleedizzle, Temporary, Real Real, Realty,
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 4: Real Tea Reality That's It, Jeff Darnell, Jamiebee, Jacob Hurt, Sinsidium,
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 4: Ray j Shark, Persephonie Hazard, Click, Silka Daniels Recreated, Jacob Billingsley,
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 4: Nathan Mookie, Jenny Rose, j W Reynolds, Alex Jardine, What
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 4: does Scoop Mean? James s Juan Monterey, Dylan Collapee, Chris Courtney,
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 4: Wolfio five, Nora Monico, Autry Johnson, Ben Sherman, Dale, The King,
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 4: Cedar Hayden, Adam Goff, Jesse Miller, Livy, Terrible, Tay and Akrilla.
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 3: Curve and there At actyls Ice, Blue Scoop, Brian Leeman, Scoop,
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 3: Brady Fred Bishara Junior, Andrea Anderson Scoop, Lindsay Frozen Cusser,
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 3: Laurie Elsroth, Robert Ward, Richard Bruins, Linda Brandemeier, Cishanna Gunn,
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 3: Wow Scooby Scoopy, Just Jess Scoop, Dank Butta Brooks, Lyile,
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 3: Adam says, Lovely Spark, mister v Jim and Manu, Adam
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 3: Warren and Manuel Manuel.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 2: I love how I love how you read the names,
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 2: because you read the names like you're disgusted, like spits
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 2: the matamos.
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to make sure I'm reading it right. I'm
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 3: too focused on that.
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the trick is the nuts try, I know. Apparently.
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 4: We also, of course want to thank the benevolent, revered, generous,
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 4: and flagrantly pro therapy diehards who love you all so
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 4: much that they give till it hurts, the therap partners
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 4: Dirty Bee and Picket, And we want to thank our bosses,
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 4: the mysterious and shrouded Illuminati members of the fan club
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 4: that they're producers. Thank you, Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie Junior, Mint,
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 4: Smitty Scoop, Ben Don, Judy Schneider, Kayla Lansberry, Malia Leon
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 4: Cassab Mason Miller, Richard Fucking Macy Carolyn Albert, Kevin Chamberlain,
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 4: Tess Miller, Sammy Scoop, Ben Stanley, Slapping Your Face, Sarah's Smith,
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 4: Adam Hathaway, Builer, t Mike Helm, Paris, Samantha Cone, Darren Cunningham,
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 4: Lib Team Monaco, Thunder Cougar, Falcon, Scoop, Matt and Lisa, Tangman,
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 4: heyo oscar Swan, rose A, Sonny Boy, Slipper, KaiA, Motherfucker,
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 4: Sandra mcwoffle, Dan Martin, Hannah, Marie Andrew Langmead, Emma Kine
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 4: and Helena.
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 2: And if you'd like to hear this episode uncut and unedited,
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 2: and wouldn't you and enjoy our spontaneous side projects, go
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 2: to patreon dot com slash therapy and thank you for
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 2: supporting mental health.
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: That's all the time we get for this week's session.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 1: I want to thank our Landlord's Matt Mattingley's ice.
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 4: Cream Social Podcast, and thanks to those of you who
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 4: contributed to our show today. We really appreciate it. But
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 4: remember pod therapy is something to keep all to yourself.
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 4: Share the episode with the world, tag us on the
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 4: socials when you do. It's at pot therapy guys on
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 4: Instagram threads and Twitter at slash pod therapy on Facebook
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 4: and no forget on all the extra goodies at patreon
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 4: dot com slash therapy.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 1: Do you want to sit a question to the show?
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 2: Ask anonymously a pot therapy dot matt or email us
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 2: at pot therapy guys at gmail dot com.
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 4: I'm I'm friend was retired dudes, Thanks and we'll see
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 4: if your appointment.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 5: I'm down to friend bitches, the guys you down to friend?
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: A friend?
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 2: Me in the mouth all I think.
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 3: It was Jersey Shore classic film.
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 1: It's football time. No no, no, bye bye bye