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Can Love Alone Sustain A Relationship? · Relationship Talk Thursday

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  Speaker 1: Good Morning Inspiration thirteen ninety family. It's Relationship Talk Thursday.
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  Speaker 2: We are on a roll.
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  Speaker 1: We got a great response last month, and now the
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  Speaker 1: power couple is back back to state.
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  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. Y'all can't go No, you're stuck
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  Speaker 2: with me right now, you stuck with me. I'm talking about.
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  Speaker 1: Pastors Damone and Erica Glenn of New Life.
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  Speaker 2: Y'all feel good about Relationship Talk Thursday.
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  Speaker 3: It's been great.
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  Speaker 4: Thank you for having us once again. Thank you for
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  Speaker 4: sharing your platform so we can get the message out
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  Speaker 4: about marriage.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, thanks. Let's let's roll.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, So we want to talk about loved today. Can
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  Speaker 1: love alone sustain a marriage? You know you've heard you know,
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  Speaker 1: love at first sight, right, but you know, I guess
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  Speaker 1: there is some truth to that.
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  Speaker 2: But what do you guys? How you want to approach
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  Speaker 2: this topic?
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  Speaker 3: Is it love? Is it?
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  Speaker 2: Well? Is it love?
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  Speaker 5: But I mean no, I don't I don't know. I'm
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  Speaker 5: not going to say it's not love because it's probably
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  Speaker 5: based upon what your previous experiences have.
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  Speaker 2: Been at first you love experience, I don't know.
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  Speaker 3: You could be attracted to them.
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  Speaker 2: And it's attracted at first sight.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, you should be like, okay, we need to
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  Speaker 6: please be right. Contraction at first sight. Yeah, and it's
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  Speaker 6: a beautiful phrase. But attraction is not assignment. Yeah you
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  Speaker 6: know it's like, just because I'm attracted to you don't.
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  Speaker 5: Mean any to me. That's just the key. Yeah, it's
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  Speaker 5: the key to open up the door.
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  Speaker 2: But it's not. It's the entrance.
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  Speaker 3: Let me let you wish your number.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I can.
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  Speaker 5: You can look good and then you start talking and
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  Speaker 5: I'm like, you unattracted?
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  Speaker 3: Isn't it interesting?
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  Speaker 4: I could be attracted to you and then I get
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  Speaker 4: to engaging, I can be unattracted. Nothing changed about how
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  Speaker 4: you look, but something changed about who you are.
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  Speaker 2: So where does love have its place in a relationship?
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  Speaker 4: Then love is an important ingredient, but it's not. It's
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  Speaker 4: not the only thing. It's foundational, it's a contribution. It
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  Speaker 4: should be added God's way. Of course, you know what
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  Speaker 4: love is is what love does, and so there is
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  Speaker 4: action that's connected to that. But love isn't the only ingredient, right.
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  Speaker 4: The Bible says love your enemies. Bible say love your neighbor.
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  Speaker 4: You shouldn't marry your neighbor, and you shouldn't marry your
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  Speaker 4: enemies necessarily. So love is an important ingredient in your
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  Speaker 4: faith and in your walk, but not necessarily.
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  Speaker 3: Sometimes we put love.
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  Speaker 4: Too big, too much in front of the relationship that
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  Speaker 4: we don't get to the other stuff.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, they need to be talking.
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  Speaker 5: About because I think sometimes love is interpreted of like
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  Speaker 5: being romantic and romanticizing a relationship. To me, is not
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  Speaker 5: the longevity of a relationship to be romantic. Yes, you
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  Speaker 5: need romance, but romance will you say romance without finance.
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  Speaker 2: Exactly?
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  Speaker 5: Especially especially for you know what a woman needs in
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  Speaker 5: a relationship, and those are good things. But it's to me,
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  Speaker 5: it's a very low percentage. When you kind of get
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  Speaker 5: into the relationship, it's enough to kind of. I should
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  Speaker 5: explore this, but you know, in order to keep it,
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  Speaker 5: it has to be more than romance and.
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  Speaker 4: Our personal relationship. When we were dating, courting, she called
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  Speaker 4: it dating. I call it courting. By the time I
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  Speaker 4: told my wife that I loved her, I told her.
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  Speaker 4: She said, why did you wate so long to tell
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  Speaker 4: me that you loved me? I said, because I wanted
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  Speaker 4: it to be a affirmation, not a revelation. And I
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  Speaker 4: meant it with no games like I want it by
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  Speaker 4: the time I said I love you, you to have already
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  Speaker 4: known that.
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  Speaker 3: Felt, that experienced it was. It was just kind of like, oh.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, of course you do, not like you do for real,
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  Speaker 4: like you know, because if I put the work in
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  Speaker 4: at the top, then it's already it's an affirming statement
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  Speaker 4: to my behavior. It's not a revelatory statement. And now
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  Speaker 4: I got to prove my love. Got fight every night
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  Speaker 4: to prove my love. Right, I shouldn't have to be
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  Speaker 4: in that seat, in that space. So I think people
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  Speaker 4: overindulge in the emotional side. And and love is a decision.
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  Speaker 4: It's a choice. It's not it's a feeling, but it's
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  Speaker 4: not feeling based. It's a decision and a choice that
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  Speaker 4: you got to choose every day. So, yes, love is important,
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  Speaker 4: but assignment is great. What do we what do we say?
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  Speaker 4: People tell us we want to get married?
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  Speaker 2: Okay, and and and what else?
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  Speaker 3: Why y'all want to get married because we love each other?
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  Speaker 4: That's great? But that's not enough. What you're gonna do together?
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  Speaker 4: Are you a signed?
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  Speaker 3: Right?
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  Speaker 2: Hold that thought?
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  Speaker 1: There's more attached to what you what you just said
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  Speaker 1: right there, We're gonna come back with the glens of
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  Speaker 1: for a couple. Can love alone sustain a relationship? We
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  Speaker 1: do have some questions that you put before, so we'll
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  Speaker 1: get to those. And if you do have a question,
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  Speaker 1: you can always reach out A five five, nine, nine,
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  Speaker 1: thirteen ninety of this Relationship Talk Thursday. Welcome back to
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  Speaker 1: Relationship Talk Thursday. It's Sonya Blakey. I did better this time.
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  Speaker 3: You know.
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  Speaker 2: Pastor Erica needed her snacks and her coffee, so I
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  Speaker 2: can't prepared today.
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  Speaker 1: Well she can't prepare and so now we are ready
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  Speaker 1: to flow this morning. Welcome back to Relationship Talk Thursdays.
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  Speaker 1: Pastor Jimot and Erica Glenn. We're talking about can love
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  Speaker 1: alone sustain a relationship? You know? And folks say I'm
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  Speaker 1: in love, I want to get married, And what do
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  Speaker 1: y'all say?
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  Speaker 3: That's not enough?
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  Speaker 2: That's good?
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  Speaker 3: What else she canna do?
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  Speaker 5: Right?
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  Speaker 3: What else you want?
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  Speaker 2: What else?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, love has to be added to the ingredient of
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  Speaker 4: a healthy relationship, but it's just an ingredient. Don't over,
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  Speaker 4: don't over. I remember Grandma said, you know, I want
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  Speaker 4: you to be sober in love in your engagement process,
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  Speaker 4: Like this is the least amount of love that you
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  Speaker 4: should feel in your entire relationship is at the beginning.
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  Speaker 4: Don't be so head over heels and love that you
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  Speaker 4: can't choose, be sober, make a decision.
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  Speaker 3: This is the least amount of love.
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  Speaker 4: And I didn't understand that until we got into it
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  Speaker 4: and she had our children and we build a family
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  Speaker 4: and establish you know, our life and our legacy together,
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  Speaker 4: and the love that I feel for her now is
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  Speaker 4: greater than that love in the beginning. But it's not
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  Speaker 4: based on the emotion. It's based on the things we've contributions,
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  Speaker 4: we built. And I think enough people don't get they
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  Speaker 4: let attractions supersede the assignment, right, And the Bible clearly
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  Speaker 4: says how can two walk together except there right? So
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  Speaker 4: you got to have alignment with the assignment in order
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  Speaker 4: to agree. And what are we doing together that we're
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  Speaker 4: going to use our love for?
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  Speaker 5: Right? And it's really you know, like you were saying,
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  Speaker 5: it's what what are you going to build together? And
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  Speaker 5: I think that that also, like moving rolling back to
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  Speaker 5: the beginning of it all, I think that relationships get
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  Speaker 5: in trouble when they're married and then they come to
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  Speaker 5: an end past and they're like, you know, fighting and arguing,
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  Speaker 5: and it's because they have lost, they have lost the
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  Speaker 5: vision of their marriage. They've lost you know why they
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  Speaker 5: came together, why we're together, and they start dealing with
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  Speaker 5: the little things that really doesn't it's not gonna matter
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  Speaker 5: when it's all over and said and done, and really
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  Speaker 5: just focusing back on what are we building together, what
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  Speaker 5: are what is our purpose together? What can I do
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  Speaker 5: with you that I could not do without you? And
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  Speaker 5: I think when people get those things causing it to
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  Speaker 5: be the main thing, then they have more focused and
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  Speaker 5: their relationship starts to really thrive because they're not dealing
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  Speaker 5: with the small stuff.
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  Speaker 2: They're dealing with the bigger picture, and.
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  Speaker 4: Your love deepens. Exactly so God tells a husband to
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  Speaker 4: love his wife. Doesn't never tell a wife to love love,
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  Speaker 4: you know, because we know that men translate love as respect,
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  Speaker 4: and so respect feel love feels different for a man
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  Speaker 4: than it does for a woman. And so it has
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  Speaker 4: to be intentional. And you know, we say love is
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  Speaker 4: a great ingredients and this foundational. But I mean, you
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  Speaker 4: still got to have communication, trust, you gotta have reliability,
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  Speaker 4: you gotta have commitment. You have to have a lot
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  Speaker 4: of things that add to that that make it equally
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  Speaker 4: yoke people always think you know the bodyle say, don't
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  Speaker 4: be unequally yoking.
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  Speaker 3: Unequally yoke me. We both got to be saved.
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  Speaker 4: But man, we done ran into a lot of people
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  Speaker 4: that say that shouldn't probably be married and both say
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  Speaker 4: both love God and can't make it work because they
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  Speaker 4: haven't done the work that's that's needed for a successful
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  Speaker 4: relationship outside of the fundamentals or the foundation.
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  Speaker 1: Great, we gonna come back, and there's a question on
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  Speaker 1: the table for the Glens. What do you do when
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  Speaker 1: love fades? How do you re ignite it?
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  Speaker 3: Here?
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  Speaker 1: Those questions coming, y'all eight five to five, nine, nine, nine,
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  Speaker 1: thirteen nine. You can post right there on our Facebook
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  Speaker 1: Instagram page. We welcome your questions on Relationship Talk Thursday.
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  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Inspiration thirteen ninety family for listening
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  Speaker 1: in this morning to Relationship Talk Thursdays.
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  Speaker 2: I love that you love the Glens.
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  Speaker 1: They're doing a great job and came back today to
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  Speaker 1: talk about love alone. Can it really sustain a relationship?
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  Speaker 1: So here's another question that you guys presented that was presented.
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  Speaker 2: To you guys.
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  Speaker 1: Have you ever loved someone deeply but realize.
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  Speaker 2: You weren't compatible? How did you handle it.
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  Speaker 1: It looks like Pastor Damon is looking at his wife
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  Speaker 1: to to answer that question.
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  Speaker 3: First, I'm digress for her experience.
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  Speaker 1: Really, okay, Share Share Share Okay.
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  Speaker 2: It's true. It's true.
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  Speaker 5: I was I was a dater so and my husband
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  Speaker 5: was not. But I'm I was a dater and so
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  Speaker 5: so you know, when you come to the realization that
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  Speaker 5: this relationship can go another it cannot go another further.
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  Speaker 5: I think you have to be honest with yourself. And
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  Speaker 5: I think what happens to people is they believe and
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  Speaker 5: feel I have invested so much time, so much energy,
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  Speaker 5: so much money, so many Christmases and Thanksgivings and all
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  Speaker 5: of those things piled up, but they don't think about
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  Speaker 5: the cost of forever versus a couple of years.
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  Speaker 2: And so, how do you get out of it? How
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  Speaker 2: do you handle it?
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  Speaker 5: Is you have to be honest with yourself that this
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  Speaker 5: is not my partner. Is They're not a bad person,
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  Speaker 5: They're just not the person for me. I have seen
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  Speaker 5: them in various seasons, and in various seasons they have
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  Speaker 5: shown up to not be the person for me, And
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  Speaker 5: so you have to acknowledge that they're not the person
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  Speaker 5: for you. And then you must have enough courage to
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  Speaker 5: do what you know you need to do and stop
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  Speaker 5: wasting the time that this person could be finding somebody
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  Speaker 5: for them and you could be finding somebody for you.
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  Speaker 5: But as long as you're together occupying space, no one
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  Speaker 5: else can come into this relationship. So you have to
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  Speaker 5: acknowledge it, and then you have to have courage to
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  Speaker 5: break it off.
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  Speaker 4: And if you're married, because that's in the context of singleness, right,
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  Speaker 4: and in a marriage relationship, when there's no compatibility, it's
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  Speaker 4: usually an unwillingness to compromise exactly. It is some chemistry there, right,
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  Speaker 4: But if you got this far, you already walked down
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  Speaker 4: the aisle and you got married, there had to be
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  Speaker 4: chemistry at one time. So now there's a refusal to
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  Speaker 4: compromise or to communicate expectations and give the other person
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  Speaker 4: what they want. So that stubbornness is not going to
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  Speaker 4: create an increased compatibility. So now we're married, we don't
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  Speaker 4: want to destroy the relationship. We just want to submit
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  Speaker 4: to what it is that you say you need to
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  Speaker 4: quit force and then they quit fighting back and forth.
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  Speaker 4: It doesn't matter if I think it's important or if
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  Speaker 4: I think it's right, or if I think it's stupid,
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  Speaker 4: or if I think you don't need that, I don't
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  Speaker 4: get to tell you what you say you need or
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  Speaker 4: what you say you want. If I want to be
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  Speaker 4: with you, then I want to be compatible. Then I
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  Speaker 4: have to be willing to compromise, and I have to
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  Speaker 4: be willing to communicate because there's a lot of people
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  Speaker 4: that's frustrated that haven't communicated what they want, and there's
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  Speaker 4: a lot of people that have communicated but won't compromise.
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  Speaker 4: So I told you what I want, but you're not
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  Speaker 4: giving it to me, and you refuse to give it
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  Speaker 4: to me because you're too in your head about if
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  Speaker 4: you think I need it or deserve it, And that's ridiculous.
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  Speaker 4: So if we're together and we're married, if you want
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  Speaker 4: to move forward in this marriage, and I need to
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  Speaker 4: be honest about what it is that I need and
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  Speaker 4: what it is that I want, and then we need
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  Speaker 4: to be honest about if you're going to because it
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  Speaker 4: ain't okay. If you're willing to give it, give me
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  Speaker 4: what I said that I need and what they said
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  Speaker 4: that I want it, that's good, suitable and compatible and adaptable.
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  Speaker 2: All right, good morning, It's version thirteen ninety.
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  Speaker 1: Family, we got some questions coming in on this relationship
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  Speaker 1: talk Thursday. We welcome all your questions, even if it's
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  Speaker 1: not on the topic. We want to get it answered.
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  Speaker 1: So here's a question. What do you do when love
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  Speaker 1: fades past? Glenn Jamo pastor Erica? How do you reignite it?
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  Speaker 1: I think you know, first of all, I believe you
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  Speaker 1: can reignite it.
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  Speaker 5: That's the first thing, right, because some people, because some
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  Speaker 5: people feel like that it can't be reignited.
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  Speaker 2: But I think you, I know you can reignite it.
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  Speaker 5: I think it's with some intentionality, probably some intentional conversations,
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  Speaker 5: intentional questions like you know, what what can I do
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  Speaker 5: to please you? You know, how do I show you
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  Speaker 5: that I love you? Or how do you need to
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  Speaker 5: be loved? You know we're talking about married people, right, Okay,
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  Speaker 5: So how much sex you need, like the whole sex
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  Speaker 5: conversation to feel loved? Like all of those things that
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  Speaker 5: I think that causes a relationship to go stale is
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  Speaker 5: the things that you should be Yeah, the things you
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  Speaker 5: should be talking about, you know, like and then you know,
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  Speaker 5: just making sure that you're letting your spouse know that
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  Speaker 5: you appreciate them.
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  Speaker 2: That will reignite, reignite your relationship.
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  Speaker 4: That's real because a lot of guys feel like they're
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  Speaker 4: doing their duty but don't get appreciated because it's what
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  Speaker 4: you're supposed to do. And there's a lot of ladies
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  Speaker 4: that feel like they're doing their duty and don't feel
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  Speaker 4: appreciated because they're doing what they're supposed to do. But
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  Speaker 4: appreciation is lack of appreciation is one of the greatest
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  Speaker 4: things that cause it a relationship to go still. No affirmation,
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  Speaker 4: you know, like when was the last time you affirmed
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  Speaker 4: your spouse in what they do even though it's a
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  Speaker 4: part of their assignment, But how do they feel and
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  Speaker 4: receive affirmation that they're doing a good job? Or like
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  Speaker 4: we talked about on Marriage Monday last night, we talked
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  Speaker 4: about how in the context, what did I do this
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  Speaker 4: week make you feel loved? Did I do anything? And
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  Speaker 4: then if you stuttering and don't have anything to say,
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  Speaker 4: I need to step it up. You know, what did
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  Speaker 4: I do this week to make you feel honored, to
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  Speaker 4: make you feel respected, to make you feel appreciated, or
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  Speaker 4: to make you feel affirmed, Because the affirmation has to
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  Speaker 4: begin and out. It's not outside exactly. There's a lot
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  Speaker 4: of people outside that's ready to affirm you how great
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  Speaker 4: you are, how good you look, how wonderful you are,
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  Speaker 4: how amazing you are. And you come home to an
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  Speaker 4: empty love take with no affirmation and no love. So
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  Speaker 4: you reignite your relationship through intentionality and having conversations that
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  Speaker 4: are affirming.
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  Speaker 5: Right, and your dog, I mean, you know, just side
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  Speaker 5: with your dog if you have a dog. Right, If
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  Speaker 5: you have a dog, your dog really shows you how
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  Speaker 5: somebody should treat you. They are exciting when you come
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  Speaker 5: to you come in and exactly, and when you're not
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  Speaker 5: feeling well, your dog knows that you're not feeling aware
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  Speaker 5: and they find you, they sit by you, they do
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  Speaker 5: whatever they can to accommodate you.
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  Speaker 2: And your dog teaches you a lot of things. If
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  Speaker 2: you will take even though.
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  Speaker 3: Happy to see you all the time, don't let the
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  Speaker 3: dog out, do you?
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  Speaker 2: Okay? Oh all right, we're welcome for your questions.
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  Speaker 3: We'll be back.
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  Speaker 1: But Pastors Daemon and Erica Glenn on this relationship talk theirs.
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  Speaker 2: They it's but a great session with the power of couple.
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  Speaker 1: Do you guys do counseling, We do coaching, coaching almost yeah,
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  Speaker 1: because people just want to have marriage counseling, get in
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  Speaker 1: the room and blame each other for what they with
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  Speaker 1: plain fingers.
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  Speaker 4: We don't have time for that. What we discovered is
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  Speaker 4: that people lack tools.
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  Speaker 3: Right.
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  Speaker 4: They want to be in relationships and they want to
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  Speaker 4: be in love, but they don't know how to especially
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  Speaker 4: if you weren't raised around it, didn't grow up seeing it.
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  Speaker 4: You are hope, you're an entire adult, and now you
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  Speaker 4: get into one of the most significant and important relationships
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  Speaker 4: in your life and you have no equipment for it.
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  Speaker 4: Barely went through premarital counseling, if barely have no library
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: whatsoever concerning marriage. Just the least amount of books, the
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: least amount of podcasts you listen to, the least amount
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: of books you read, the least about the information you intained,
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: No confidences, no retreats, no loss songs.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: All the songs is less songs.
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: You have no intake inside up to take the most
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: important relationship. So we don't like counseling because it's a
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: waste of time. But we will coach you, give you tools,
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: give you equipment, give you information. That's why we write books.
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: We wrote this book. It's called The thirty Day Love Challenge.
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: Thirty Day Love Challenge gives you an opportunity to practice
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: love in action, not in just theory. It's because love
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: is a choice. Practice love as an important ingredient in
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: your relationship. For thirty consistent days, every single day, read
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: a devotion. Do this on your spouse, Do it to them,
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: not to receive anything back from them, but just do
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: it from your side and just engage.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: Engage, engage, engage with intentionality.
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: So we give we give tools to equip people because
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: if people are equipped, they will have successful relationship.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: Follow you, yep, Actually we got one coming up in March.
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: Is the coach in the March. That's right, the end
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: of March, the last March twenty fourth.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: It starts.
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: It's a group setting because we learn from group learning.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: Group settings. It is online. It is so people can
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: do from all over the world, but it is a
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: group setting. We do four weeks of marriage coaching that
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: will give you a week talk about vision, we talk
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: about communication, we talk about intimacy, and we talk about money.
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: So we get to the big three and at like
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: my wife said, if you know where you're going, you
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: know what you're after, you stop talking about the things
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: you're not engaged in, and we invite you to be
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: a part of that. You're curious and interested and also
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: a part of the thirty day Love Challenge that's going
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: to kick off in the month of March that you can.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Do yeah at any time.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Looking forward to having you guys back next Thursday, Relationship
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Talk Thursday. No, you can always submit your questions there,
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: on Instagram, Facebook, or just hit me in here at
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: the station eight five five thirteen ninety