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Empowerment and Acceptance: Angela Briones A Gay Podcast For Everyone · Surviving-ISH Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: In every dark tunnel there's a glimmer of hope.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: In every painful moment there's a strength to heal anyway what I thought I could never get back.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Surviving Podcast.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: So a little backstory.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Leanne from Watch Us Thrive Podcast has been a guest on our show.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: I have been a guest on her show and I got an email from someone who is now a friend of mine named Angela that said hey, I was listening to something completely out of my genre and came across your episode and I would love for you to come share the story.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: She has a podcast I'm a huge fan of now and her name is angela.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: The podcast that she hosts is a gay podcast for everyone and it is amazing.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I'll share all the links, angela, I'm so obsessed with you.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: You you know that already.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Likewise, seriously, me too.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Thanks for having me on here, david.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm really excited.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: So the other night, angela and I we use the same editing software.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I had questions and just little difficulties that we run into.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: We're like, hey, let's come on Zoom and help each other out.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Two hours pass and her partner is.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: I'm hungry.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Two hours passed and her partner is hungry, and today we have been on an hour before we even hit record.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: But we had such great conversation.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Why were we not recording Angela?
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: That happens to me all the time.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: I'm like why didn't I hit record?
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: I had to have Angela on, regardless of what we talked about.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: So this is probably going to fall more into that palate cleanser episode where we just joined together as a community and we talk about hardships.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: We also talk about fun ships Throwing that out there.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: But, angela, take how much, ever time you need, give us whatever information you want to give us, but tell us about you and your show.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Sure, thank you, I'm happy to.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: My name is Angela Briones.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: My podcast, like you said, is the gay podcast for everyone and it's a podcast for my LGBTQ plus community parents, our friends, our allies to come together in conversation, listen to each other's points of views and hopefully build a stronger connection.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I always say that I'm inviting people to a table and just listening to each other and listening to each other's journey and hopefully realizing that we're not that different.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: We all want the same thing.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I created it because or I wanted to talk about it because I started understanding that when I came out, I had all.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: I was in the closet for years, right, and I was coming out to myself for years.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: So when I finally come out to my mom and my dad but I really came out to my mom, told my dad for me, which was great but when I came out to my mom, it took me a while to understand that I had been in the closet for years, I had dealt with everything on my own, I had come to my own understanding and I come out and I just go, I'm gay, and it's like you drop something on their lap and you run off, because I'm sure you felt the same way.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: When you come out, you're just like, oh my gosh, this is wonderful.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: And you run off, because I'm sure you felt the same way.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: When you come out, you're just like, oh my gosh, this is wonderful, like you.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: Just.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: It's just like a ton of bricks is released from your shoulders and you feel great.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: What I realized is I took that and handed that to my mom and now she was dealing with something, even though she probably suspected I was gay.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Until your child says it to you, you don't really know and you don't know how to deal with it.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: You don't know how to process it, and I wanted to have this podcast to be a space where we talk about that.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Over now.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about your journey, because your journey is going to become the journey that we're on together for the rest of our lives, if you choose it, because there are parents who choose not to take that journey, and I really wanted this space and this podcast to be about hey, what if you told your child in no uncertain terms I don don't understand this, but where do we go from here?
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Because my mom made me feel like that when I came out.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: She did not say those words, but I felt it hardcore.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: And here we are, 20 plus years later, and she's at my house or like for a weekend or whatever, and she literally tells me eye to eye.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: She's like I love your partner.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: You chose a good woman.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: These are things that I never thought would come out of her mouth.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: That's what the podcast is about.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: When you asked me to be on and I listened to a few episodes, I was like this is exactly where I need to be.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: And then you and I like we text, we email, we get on Zoom for hours.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Like one of the things I heard you say in one of your episodes is you were referring to the LGBTQIA community as a family and then you said that's something that we do here in the gay community, in the queer community is we're a family, and you broke that down for people.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: You just had this beautiful way of explaining that and I was like this is exactly where I need to be.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: This is a safe place and providing that safe place for people is everything I have, throughout my story, shared my coming out experience, but never as a sit down beginning to end of the coming out journey, as I have on your show.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: I'll put the link in the show notes.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: If people want to hear my full coming out story and my journey with that, check it and trust me when you do it, you're going to fall in love with Angela.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: You've already heard her voice.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: That's amazing.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Like you will listen to every episode and everybody that you've had on, like hearing the mom's talk and hearing how things are changing.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they are, and it's just.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: It breaks my heart to think that somebody made you made this comment on my podcast, actually, of what you had gone through, of course and said if you didn't have the foundation and you didn't have the support system, you wouldn't have made it through that.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Talk about safe spaces same thing when we're all in the closet, we're all trying to determine what is life going to look like after I say these words.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Am I still going to be welcome in this house?
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Am I going to be tossed out?
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Am I still going to have holidays or whatever?
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: And then you go further than that and think about safe spaces as far as gay clubs or gay community events or what have you.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: There have been a lot of times where it has not been a safe space.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: There are things that happen and I think for our community, we're constantly whether it's something that we grapple with in our head to that degree as far as the safe space.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: It's something that we grapple with in our head to that degree as far as the safe space, or whether it's something that is right in front of our face and we are, and it's literally a physical space that we're trying to determine if it's safe.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: I think that is something we come to terms with and come across often and I don't think people realize that I really don't.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: I have so many conversations with my sister.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Actually she's straight and I'm gay.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: I share my perspective all the time because I get a little miffed sometimes.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: She knows I tease her because I'm like I get a little miffed at your privilege.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: Sometimes your straight privilege really bugs me and we joke about it.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: But she knows it's not a joke too, and she very often says I don't have to worry if who I am or what I say is going to offend somebody and that's privilege.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: It's privilege, yeah.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: And so it's been great having these conversations on the podcast because, number one, it's a safe space to have the conversations.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: I always talk about the fact that we have to give each other grace, to make mistakes, to say things that are quote unquote wrong, so that another person who's on the other side of that conversation can say I hear what you're saying.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: However, let's take this outlook and create a new point of view and have some empathy there.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: But you have to give that space to understand, and I really hope that's what's happening with the podcast, cause that's my intention.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: That's what I take from it.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Like I just I think it's so great, what so?
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: You and I are around the same age and so being the eighties, nineties, early 2000s, babies during the years of finding ourselves, and I would love to hear those milestone examples.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: Looking back, when I was younger, I loved the movie Just One of the Guys.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: I thought it was just so funny as a comedy.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: And the girl in it I'm going to butcher the synops synopsis, by the way, because it's off the cuff but the girl in it presents this paper to her english teacher and she thinks it's the greatest thing in the world, like she's the best writer in the world.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: He doesn't love it and she has created a narrative that he doesn't love it because she's a woman and she's.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: If I presented this as a man, if I gave you the exact same paper and I was a boy actually because it's in high school, the setting is in high school I would have gotten an a and I would gotten.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: I think she was trying to get like the newspaper, like some sort of role in the newspaper, school paper, and so she decides she's gonna basically dress in drag as a guy and go to a different school, infiltrate the new school and see if she can present the same paper basically to the same.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: I think it's like the same guy, because again, I'm going to butcher it.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: But I think there's a community, the high schools, where they're trying to determine who's the best writer at whatever high school, because that sounds good for right now.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: But the point is she dresses as a guy and when she dresses as a guy, I remember thinking, oh wow, like there was something there, like it was an awakening of some sort.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what that meant at the time but, like, looking back, that was a huge thing for me, probably the most impactful, and now I can give it a name.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Now I can do that, but at the time I really it's so weird.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: At the time I didn't really know what it meant, isn't that strange?
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how can I make myself into that, not realizing that's not who I wanted to be.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: It was who I was attracted to and once I was allowed or had a title to put to it.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: And that permission, I guess, is when so many light bulbs went off.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Was there anybody that you didn't come out to?
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: I never came out to my grandparents, just from circumstance.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I think it was just my age, their age.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: They weren't in a place where they weren't in a good health, healthy place to where we could have that conversation, and I always think I wish I could have come out to them just to know how that would have gone, but at the same time, like if there were people who could have destroyed me with a negative reaction, it would have been them all right, I remember telling my mother or asking my mother please don't tell my mom, papa, I'm from the south, they're my mom, papa, because they're buried into their religion and and that's was a huge fear of mine.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: And the next day I saw my mom and she said so.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: I told you're my mom.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: I was like damn it, mom, but they were amazing.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: I feel so guilty for how amazing my coming out story was and I hate that we're in a place that I can't celebrate, or I feel guilty celebrating something so amazing for me because of other people not getting that.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: Also conversely, because that is 100% accurate and now that marriage is legal, I have started to understand that I'm in a space where I don't feel that I'm worthy of that.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: For some reason, I feel like everybody else is worthy of that.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: If two other women, two other guys, whatever were to get married, I'm like I'm there, let's celebrate, that's great.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: But for whatever reason, I don't think people understand, because I didn't understand until two years ago the concept of internalized homophobia.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: I did not know what that was and it's basically all the shameful messages that you've received throughout your life.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: Gets stored in your head and stored in your brain and that narrative loop keeps playing telling you that you're a bad person for being gay and you should feel shame for being gay, and keeps you from really living your best life and really just being as open as you possibly can.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: And so many times I have played small because of that internalized homophobia and a lot of the good struggle I have with my podcast.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: What I'm learning it's a space where I'm growing too.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: It's not just for parents and for allies, it's for all of us, myself included.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: I was with writing.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: You write the book you need to write.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: You write the screenplay.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: You need to see that movie.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: Same thing with podcasting.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: I I needed to have this conversation for myself.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: I needed to know where I fit in, because I was playing small and I'm still playing small to a large degree when it comes to weddings and marriage.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: I see, I'll use my sister as an example because I know I, I can.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: I see her get married and I'm like I want that too and I can have that now, right, but for some reason I haven't allowed myself to have that, and that is just chipping away at the internalized homophobia that has just really, it's just a mast in my head this entire time and I'm learning how to dismantle it every day.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: The whole marriage thing.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: I have not been married.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I battle back and forth, do I?
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: I have told myself that I love Cody, I'm committed to Cody, and that's all I need and I don't need a piece of paper.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: But then there's that other part of me that says but I deserve that piece of paper.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: But then there's that other part of me that's like I deserve that piece of paper.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: And so I get so torn with and not even realizing I did not believe that internal homophobia is the same with rape culture, it's the same with blaming the victim, right?
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: How many times have we heard, or even maybe said ourselves, when we hear of hey, did you hear about that girl that was walking to her dorm from college and after a party and she was attacked and assaulted, we first say what was she wearing?
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: that doesn't matter yeah, the conditioning is so deep we don't even know, we don't even realize that our subconscious is like holding on to that so much.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: And what's really ironic is I knew that like when I came out my mom's biggest thing or any parent, I guess they worry about the optics, especially, especially in my culture, in the Latino culture.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: It's like what are people going to think?
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: What are they going to say?
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: The neighbors, the family, whatever.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: So they worry what people are going to say about you behind your back, etc.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Those reactions create the internalized homophobia as well.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: It's oh, I should feel shame for whatever the topic of this conversation is, which happens to be being gay.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: It's internalized homophobia.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: It's shameful messages and the kind of irony of all that is that as we talk about marriage I'm just realizing this just now.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: As we talk about marriage, I am thinking my biggest hangup is walking into a space and having to ask the question do you allow gay marriages here?
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: And it's just like realizing that is conditioning from the past.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: That's just.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: I have to dismantle that and walk into a space and know that I belong, or at least present, as it's like I do belong.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: And now if you have a reaction to me that tells me that you don't think I belong.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: That's different.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: But I need to learn how to walk into a space and feel like I belong because I do yeah, absolutely, and I try to not be someone that thinks anything negative is because I'm gay.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I did in my younger years and I think that it's natural.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: But when someone doesn't like you, you want to say, oh, it's because I'm gay, or oh, it's because I'm a different race or because I'm a different size than you or gender than you.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: We get conditioned into thinking that's the case.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: And then finally I started realizing that sometimes you just don't like people because they're not good people.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: So when I came out of the closet I wore it as a badge of honor, like everybody had to know.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: I started every conversation with hi I'm gay, david, because it was so nice to be able to say it that I just had to over say it.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: But then when I found that level with it where it was good and healthy, then that's when other things started coming to me.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: If someone doesn't like me, it doesn't mean it's because I'm gay, it's maybe I was an asshole.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: Did you have those realizations of still trying to figure out yourself?
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: And that's the funny thing.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: It was like I was under the impression that when I came out like there was going to be a switch and it was like I was going to be like in the closet and then just not, period.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, I didn't realize that we were going to have to come out a hundred thousand no-transcript.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: What does my life look like now that I can be the person, now that my truth is there, now that everybody knows my actual truth, what is?
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: There's a process.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: It's unlike for parents.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: They describe it especially on my podcast.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: There's so many parents who describe the process in between is like a grieving process.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: I guess they had a lot of expectations.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: I think it's the opposite for us a little bit, because we're actually excited about what's in the future but we're trepidatious because we don't know really what that looks like.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: A lot of that has to do with we just didn't have the role models to show us what that looked like.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: When we talked about tv earlier, I remember ellen being one of the probably the only person at the time who reflected who I was, and then later we had the L word and queers folk, but before that it was just Ellen At least that's what it seemed like.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: She had a hit show.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: She was very prevalent and, honestly, when my podcast started, I called it they can't all be Betty based off of her mother, betty DeGeneres.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Betty DeGeneres wrote a book she wrote two books actually and talking about when Ellen came out to her, she didn't receive the news very well.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: She gave her a hug, but she had a hard time and from that point to literally being on the stage of the human rights campaign, being a spokesperson for the hrc, that was not overnight for her, that was a process and I wanted to talk about that.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: So I initially called my podcast.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: They can't all be betty like they don't, and not every parent has to be on the stage of hrc.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: Not every parent has to be on the float of a pride parade.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: As long as you don't abandon your child and as long as you walk through that journey together, that's all you need to do.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: And you're right, david.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: There's that kind of trepidation, one step at a time for us but towards something very positive, yet unknown, and then, I think, for our parents and our family it's unknown as well.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: But there's a lot more question marks because they truly don't know what that means, but that's where this conversation has to happen.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I have always told people that have reached out to me with even before podcasting.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: But we have to allow grace.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: We are busting out of that closet.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: We are so excited we are born again.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: But we have to understand that when I was newborn and put in my mom and dad's arms for the first time, all these hopes and wishes started happening of and maybe it's what society taught us of what we're supposed to dream, they should be allowed to mourn who they hoped and thought I would be.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: And I know like I even stutter even saying that because it's a very hard realization, but it's the truth.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: They're going to have their hopes and dreams and they need to have have that time to mourn, just as I need that time to celebrate.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: But it doesn't always happen at the same time and that's when the shit happens.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: And it took me a while to realize that I say this very cautiously that I was in the closet for so long that it's unfair for me to expect my parents, like once I give them my truth, for them just to immediately be on board.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: You should immediately show your support, you should immediately show your love.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: But it's okay if you say I don't know what this means, I have questions, but it doesn't change how I feel about you.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: I love you.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: That can happen and that's okay and I want to keep pushing that so that parents can understand.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: But I'll say this the biggest difference is when you and I were kids, our parents probably didn't have other parent friends who were going through the same thing.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: They didn't have anybody to talk to.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I didn't know anybody else who was gay no one.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: My sister and I were talking about this the other day.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: We have seven years of difference between us.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: She's seven years younger and she knew so many gay people in high school and I was like I knew no one.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Same.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, just in that like almost 10 year period of time, a lot was different, and when I came out, I didn't know any gay people.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: So my parents certainly didn't, or they knew who my friends were.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: They certainly didn't have friends whose kids were gay either.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: They're confused, they're lost.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: They need time to be in the closet, so to speak, too.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, I know what this truth is, but I need to figure it out for myself, because you know how we go through the closet on our own for a long time, and I think parents need that space too.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Okay, I know what the truth is.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: I need to figure it out for myself.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: I'm not ashamed.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: I'm going to come to terms with it.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: I'm going to understand, I'm going to figure it out.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: We're going to do this together.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I think kids today, they have parents who are our age, who know other gay people, and it's not a thing.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: It's not a thing to be fearful of.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: They're gay people and it's not a thing.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: It's not a thing to be fearful of.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I would love to hear when you accepted you as yourself.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: At that time in Austin I'm dating myself saying this, but at that time there was, I think, one gay bar maybe there was two, because there was one that had been there a long time but that was like more of a male centric bar or a club, I should say.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: So there was this one space and it wasn't like I didn't have to go downtown.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: It was like a good area, easy to get to, type thing.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: So that made it easy.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Um, but there was just one place and that was when, when the L word started playing and started airing on Showtime, and so every Sunday they would show the L word and invite people to come in community.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: And I went there by myself.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: I didn't know any other gay people, it was me, and I can't even believe that I was able to go in there by myself.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: Like, when I look back, I'm like I was pretty brave, because that's tough to go in that space.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: But I would, I swear I would feel like I would walk through the doors and like life was different the moment I was on the other side of that door, like everybody understood who I was and understood my life and understood me and didn't have a question.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: There was no shame.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: That's the thing.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: It was a safe place and there was no shame in those walls.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: I went on a gay cruise or a lesbian cruise, and this is a long time ago.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: But I will tell you that was like utopia because it was just like everybody there was exactly like me.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: We had the same conversation.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: We weren't judging each other.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: It's so funny.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Fun fact, chaz Bono was actually on that cruise.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: And, the funnier part, I played three on three basketball with Chaz Bono.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Yes, like it was so funny because me and my then partner at the time went on this Olivia Cruz which shout out to Olivia Cruzes because they're just great Like it was a wonderful experience.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: And what can you say?
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: You're in utopia, like I said.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: But we went up to the top, we could see a basketball court.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: We just wanted to see the view honestly.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: And we go up there and realize that there's already some people there, and one of which is Chaz Bono, and they needed two other people.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: And they're like you guys want to play and we're like no, we don't know what we're doing.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Long story short, we played and it was funny because I texted my mom when I was able to text her, I was like.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: I just want you to know that your daughter just played basketball with Cher's child.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Thank you, how?
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: did you realize it was Chaz Bono?
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: They were transitioning at that time and it was I don't even think it was like a known thing at the time.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: It was at the cusp of their transition, so yeah, but they were going by chas, finally able to go by chas, so yeah, so it's interesting, but yeah, it's just a great space, right when you're in a place where you're able to be yourself.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and like every space should be like that.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: Like it took me a long time to go to like family events and not walk in going.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna play small, like I said earlier, I'm gonna try to circumvent the conversation or whatever.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: It took me a long time to be like this is my partner, this is my girlfriend, I'm gay, angela, that type thing.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: So when you talked about that journey of like how long did it take?
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: From the closet, I don't think people realize even just yes, you do come out and you are happy and you are whatever.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: But every new space you go into, you don't know how you're going to be received.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: And even moving into this new neighborhood I moved, moved outside of Austin.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: I'm like I don't know who my neighbors are.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: I know, With Cody and I living in the South, I found myself feeling awkward that I'm having to have conversations of we are two, we're a same-sex couple and luckily I never saw any ugly with that.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: I watched the Bachelor and all the franchises and, of course, I just watched the Golden Bachelor, which I loved, by the way.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: And they're getting married and I'm sitting there watching this.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: They're getting married on national television, beautiful space, etc.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: And I'm just like you know.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: What just really gets me about this is they don't have to wonder if they can get married in this venue.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: That's not a thing.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: They don't have to wonder if somebody will make a cake for them.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: So it takes a lot to get over those mental humps, if you will, those hurdles and even as far as safety goes, same thing with us in this new house If you hire people to repair things.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: I remember, just not too long ago, there was a guy who came over and it just we judge each other, we do, we just do as human beings, and I could just tell that perhaps he would not be as open as I would hope he would be.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: So I was telling my girlfriend.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: I was like and we typically do this with everyone, by the way we typically, unless they come inside the house to repair something, only one of us goes outside to actually talk to them and tell them what on the exterior needs to be done, because it's just not worth it, because I'm like I don't know who this person is, I don't know what their values are, I don't know who they are other than repairing a fence or repairing the roof, whatever, and it's just a matter of safety.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: You can tend to feel like I get really angry, but like in a healthy angry way.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: But I'm really glad that we're in a place where, like you said, we do find more people who are more accepting of it than we realize.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: A lot of it is just us and our age and our conditioning.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: We're conditioned to expect somebody to have a bad reaction.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: I know we're making.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: We're getting there.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Yes, we are.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: I love that and I'd be mad not going to be bitter when I use the double-edged sword.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: But I'm living in a time where I get to see the change and I get to be a part of the change, and I love that be the change you wish to see, and so I feel like much of that change has to come from me.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: So I need to walk into a space and present in a way that I'm I know that I'm proud of myself as we do start winding down.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: What I'm so excited about is what we talked about off the record and nothing set in stone, so I'm not going to go into detail, but the podcast community that we are a part of, which is so accepting.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: I haven't ran into and I'm sure it's out there, but I haven't ran into any of the we don't like gays or we don't like mental health or we don't like men or we don't like women or like it's so freaking accepting, and you and I push out a couple of ideas that both of us already do and how we can maybe do it together.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: So, with that being said, listeners, there may be some really fun stuff coming up in the future of us just having these palate cleansers or whatever, and so I want everyone to check out Angela's show, at least listen to the episode I was on and blow up the reviews and comments with that, so that way she will want to keep me around and know that I'm useful for something.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: But as we start to wind down, I would love to hear what the biggest takeaway you have personally received this far into your podcast journey.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, the literally the best feedback that made me cry because it was so beautiful was from somebody I didn't expect.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: So that was part of the whole thing.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: They contacted me and said I listened to your podcast and my child has come out as trans to me and I had already been listening just as an ally, and I was a little prepared for the conversation because I had been listening.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: They said when we went to therapy, I used your podcast as an example for the therapist and for the conversation, because the child was going to come out to their father.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: So they said I want you to listen to this episode before you talk to your dad and so like for a mom to give the podcast to their child and say listen to this before you take this next step, just to know that it was impactful to that degree, like it has been wonderful, like really that if nothing else happened after that, just knowing that moment is wow, really Thank you.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: That meant the world to me.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: What an amazing story and for you personally.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: I can't speak for you, but I'm assuming that, especially being newer into the podcasting world like we are, that's validation for us that we need that.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, for sure.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you were like, okay, next episode coming out tomorrow.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: It probably fueled that fire for you.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: You're right, because that person didn't know that at the time.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: It was literally like that.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: At the time I was questioning whether I should come back the next season, I was like, should I just hang it up or should I do that?
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: So it's funny, that's the universe, though.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: That's the universe, though that's the synchronicity of the universe doing its thing.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, 100%.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: Because what a lot of people don't realize is this truly costs us money out of our pocket.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: There are ways, once you start making money, and to maybe at least cover out-of-pocket expenses, but for you and I and others to do something like this, it is a true passion.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: It is a true message.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: We could be downstairs with our partners eating Kentucky Fried Chicken and drinking Mountain Dew and watching the Housewives yeah.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: But we have a message and a story that we want to share and they love and support us because they see the passion in it.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: That was a great question.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: Thank you, I appreciate that question.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that story.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing that.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, to call you a friend is such an honor and the way we connected immediately, the way that I heard your voice, I saw your face when we first logged in and I was like this is a safe place, I'm good here, I don't have to filter things, I can be all of me and I think that she'll like all of me and I think you do.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: I feel like we have this lifelong connection.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: Now we connected immediately and I'm like this is a lifelong connection oh yeah, we've got plans.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: Summer's coming.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: You will be seeing me this summer and you and your partner are always welcome here.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Tell everybody where we can follow you, find you, like you, love you and all the things awesome.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: Right now I'm all in on instagram.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: It's the gay podcast underscore for everyone.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: I'm working on my website right now, so really instagram is the main way to find me and then, on any podcast platform, look up the gay podcast for everyone.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: That's really the main way to find me and I just appreciate this.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: David, this has been really awesome.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: Thank you for having me I want to extend my deepest gratitude to our incredible guests for sharing their transformative journey with us today.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Join us next week as we dive into the healing process and share more incredible stories of triumph and resilience.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: I'm back.