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The 2 types of LOVE a narcissist shows · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about the types of love that a
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  narcissist will give, what admittedly narcissists can't
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  love. In the video you You'd be
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  surprised about the answers. My name.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  episode 999 of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom 999 episodes. Y'all.
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  Can y'all believe it? Tomorrow will be episode 1000.
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  What the heck? February 6th.
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  Like, I gotta get my teeth cleaned tomorrow.
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  So teeth cleaning The episode 1000.
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  Wow. But yes, yes, yes, y'all the
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  types of love they narcissistic person will give to you.
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  And like I said, I know in the beginning, in a little teaser, I
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  said woolly narcissist can't love.
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  So in the video right there. Thank you.
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  This should be a 7 second video. Narcissist cannot love you at
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  all. I'm Lee Yimick.
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  Goodbye now. So for me, you know, I'm a
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  clinically diagnosed narcissistic personality
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  disorder. And I I can love people.
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  And I believe that a lot of narcissists have the ability to
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  love people, but it's very limited.
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  Y'all, it might not be the amount of love or the type of
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  love that you might require, or the type of love that you might
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  want throughout your life. Not the type of love that you
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  predicted. Because narcissistic people show
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  love in a few different ways. How do they show love?
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  How do they demonstrate love? What the types of love.
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  So the first type of love that narcissistic people love quote
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  UN quote love. The first type of love that they
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  would demonstrate to you is physical, Physical physicality.
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  Show you love through physical acts, physical physicalness, the
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  body gifts, things like that. Their presence.
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  Narcissistic people think that their presence should be enough
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  to show you that they love you. Hey, I'm here with you, Artna.
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  Hey, I'm around you, Artna. Hey, I love you.
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  Can't you tell that I love you? I'm still here.
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  I haven't left you. We're still married, aren't we?
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  We. We built the family together,
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  aren't we? I can have other people, but I
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  chose you so they should show you that I love you.
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  You know, I don't need to say it all the time.
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  I can show you by being here. I show you I love you by being
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  here with you. Because love is showing up.
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  And I show up every day when I get off of work, every day when
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  I clock out and come home, you know?
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  Or every day when you get off of work or when you come home.
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  Yeah, whatever. The whatever the family dynamics
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  are. I show you love by being here is
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  the mindset of a lot of narcissist and toxic people.
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  Y'all because I'm here. I should show you and they
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  dealt. Like I said, very rarely do they
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  demonstrate emotional love. In the beginning, it seems like
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  a lot of emotional love is being, like distributed towards
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  you. But you come to know that that's
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  not always the case, right? You come to know that that's not
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  always the truth. When you're dealing with
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  narcissists and talk to people that it's not always going to be
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  a demonstration the way that you think it's going to be, you
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  know, it's not always going to be the like.
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  They're going to demonstrate it by giving you the physical,
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  telling you I love you and showing you I love you are not
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  the same thing. Y'all.
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  Let's keep it real. Telling you that I love you and
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  and showing you that I love you are nowhere near the same damn
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  thing. But so many people conflate the
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  two like they are very similar. They like they are together.
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  No. They.
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  No. Nope.
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  Nope. Nope.
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  Nope. They're not.
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  But this is where a lot of people get confused.
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  We deal narcissistic people. They will show you love through
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  giving you gifts. Hey, I know I did something
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  horrible to you, but here's, here's my apology and here's to
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  show you that I love you. Here's a gift.
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  Here's a trip. Here's a necklace.
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  Here's a bowling ball. Here's a baseball glove.
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  Here's a, you know, here's something physical that you can
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  hold that you can see because narcissistic people think this,
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  how you show love, is giving you physical things.
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  Hey, here's my body. I'm going to give you my body to
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  show you that I love you. You know, could they be part of
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  love and intimacy? Yeah, but it's only body.
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  It's only physicality. There's no intimacy.
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  It's just clapping cheeks, you know?
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  It's just, you know, primal, you know, it's just primal love, you
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  know? We're just loving each other
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  through our bodies, slapping the other, you know what I mean?
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  But that's the mindset right there.
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  You see, that's the the inner workings of a narcissist's mind.
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  It's just show you right there. You get it right there, right
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  you. You feel it.
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  You feel the dynamic. You understand it right there.
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  When I say it like that, they will give you things.
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  Here's a Hey, I know I cheated on you.
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  And to show you how much I love you, I'm going to physically
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  give you a bracelet. You know, here's a Louis Vuitton
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  wallet. Here's something.
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  Yeah. Here's a purse.
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  Here's something to show you that I love you.
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  Can that be an act of affection? Yes.
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  Yeah. But if that's all they do, then
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  that's really all they think they are required to do, You
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  know? Because if it works one time or
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  if it works several times, then they're going to keep doing it,
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  right? How can I show you that I love
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  you? How can I prove to you that I
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  love you? No, I'm not going to block my
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  ex. What I'm actually going to do my
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  ex that I keep talking to and friends with and go hanging out
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  one-on-one and turning my phone off with No, I'm.
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  No, I'm not going to cut them off because they would be
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  showing you too much love. What I'm going to do is take you
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  shopping. What I want to do is cook for
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  you. You see what I'm saying?
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  A physical act, not what you really wanted them to do.
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  Or sometimes it is. Sometimes it is what you wanted
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  them to do, like a trip or something like that.
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  But you don't really get what you want out of it.
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  There's no emotional connection behind it.
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  And you can tell if you're dealing with a narcissist, you
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  can tell that there's no emotional connection behind them
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  giving you something after they've hurt you.
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  That's just like, hey, look, I showed you I love you.
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  Hey, I did this, didn't you? Are you not happy?
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  Are you not grateful? Wow, You ungrateful.
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  Wow. You can't really show love to
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  people these days. People these days.
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  Wow. Modern women, modern man.
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  Wow. Just so ungrateful physical
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  physicality. They think that they are showing
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  you love by giving you physical things.
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  It's like, this is how they demonstrate love to you through
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  physical acts. Physical, no emotional or very,
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  very little emotional behind it, but it's physical.
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  The physical stuff, the physicality behind it, you know
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  what I mean? But that's the dynamics of so
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  many people run into when you're dealing with a narcissist or
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  toxic person. It's the physical things.
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  They keep you there, the physical stuff that keeps you
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  there and what not. So there's one way, the other
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  way that narcissistic people will, you know, show you love or
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  show you how they love you or whatever connects to you.
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  It's conditional. Other type of love, the type of
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  love I got this Hulk and I forgot what I said at the
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  beginning. Another type of love,
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  conditional love. A narcissist love.
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  A lot of narcissist love comes with strings attached.
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  It's like it's negotiating with love, negotiating with
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  perfection. Your love is based on condition.
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  If you don't meet the and you know the terms and conditions of
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  a narcissist love are always changing.
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  If you don't meet these conditions of this love, then
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  I'm going to take it away from you.
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  You see, if you don't meet these conditions that I set forth,
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  then the love will be removed from you and held over your head
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  until further notice. And I'm going to weaponize this
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  love against you. It's conditional.
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  Yeah. It's come to a strings attached.
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  If you don't do this, if you don't do, if you don't give into
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  my demands, then I'm going to take the love away.
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  Believe this sounds, this sounds like normal love.
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  Because if you don't meet the needs of the person, then you
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  take the you're supposed to take the love away.
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  Yeah, intent matters. If I'm trying to manipulate you
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  with this stuff, that's different than me trying to just
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  show love and care and affection.
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  You know there's different than Matrix trying to hold you set a
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  boundary. Manipulation and boundaries are
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  not the same thing. If I'm trying to, hey, I'm going
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  to take the love away. If you keep breaking up my ex or
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  my past or the things I've done in the past, I'm going to take
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  the love away from you. That's manipulation.
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  That's trying to get out of something.
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  That's trying to avoid accountability.
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  The intent behind the actions matters.
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  Y'all because so much of the stuff that I say on this channel
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  can be, if you think about it too hard, you can't put yourself
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  in those shoes and make make make you think that you are the
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  narcissist or toxic person. Intent matters.
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  What is your intent on doing this right here?
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  Because narcissistic people, when they threaten to remove the
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  love from you, is to manipulate you in a certain way to get you
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  to fall in line. If you are threatening to leave
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  them, you are trying to get them to act right and treat you
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  right, give you meet the meet the bare minimum standards of a
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  relationship. They're trying to manipulate you
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  to take what they put out, take what they give.
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  You are trying to get love in an equal.
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  You know you're trying to get reciprocity in a relationship.
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  You're trying to get out what you put in.
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  Intent matters. Love, Narcissist.
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  Love comes with strings attached.
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  Hey, I'm going to show you that I love you as long as you don't
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  bring up my past. As long as you don't bring up
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  the fact that I cheated on you. As long as you don't tell your
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  friends and family that I did what I did to you.
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  I'm going to show you love and I'm going to show the kids love.
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  You know I'm going to show you I'm going to show the kids love.
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  As long as I'm able to be in your life as well, as long as I
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  have some type of access to you, I will be in the kids lives.
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  You see how conditional that is right there.
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  You see the string attached right there.
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  As long as I'm able to talk to you or touch you or be around
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  you, then yes, I'm going to show the kids a lot of love.
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  But if I can't be around them, if I can't do what I want to do,
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  and I'm going to take the love away from them as well, you
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  know, if you don't, I'm going to abandon you, abandon the kids,
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  I'm going to quit the business. If I can't see you, I'm going to
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  let the house go into bankruptcy.
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  If I can't see you, I'm going to let the cars get repossessed.
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  If I can't see you, you see if I can't have access to you, you
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  see the conditional, the strings attached right there.
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  I will give as long as I get, though, is not in, is not equal,
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  is not equal in these relationship dynamics.
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  That's the that's the main thing I try to convey to people that
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  is not equal. But people, like I said, people
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  push back on it. People push back on me when I
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  say this type of stuff right here.
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  But it is absolutely not an equal dynamic.
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  It's not an equal shift in these relationship spaces you don't
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  like. And I hate to say this, but if
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  you're dealing with a toxic, narcissistic person, then you
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  don't get out of the relationship what you put into
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  it. You don't.
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  You you don't. You waste a lot of time, effort
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  and energy trying to, you know, get out, get something out of
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  there. To get to get the love out of
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  this relationship, to squeeze the love out of this, to squeeze
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  the love out of this relationship dynamic.
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  You know, narcissistic people. Y'all, yeah, I'll, I'll end it
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  with this right here. Y'all this little this little
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  short mind a lot right here. Is that Is it true that some
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  narcissistic people don't love you?
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  Yes, that is absolutely true because love is an action word.
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  Love is a verb. Y'all love requires actions to
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  show you that they love you, but it also has to be some level of
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  intimacy behind it. I have to prove that I love you
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  by being there for you emote, not only physically but also
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  emotionally as well. You know, that's the space that
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  it falls into right there. Not only physically, but
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  emotionally as well. Give me the physical stuff with
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  like, yeah, I need some emotional connection behind it.
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  We can clap cheeks or whatever, but what else is there to this
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  relationship? Because some narcissists don't.
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  Look, let's be real. Some narcissists don't love,
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  They can't love. Some narcissists cannot love
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  their kids. But I'll I'll say this right
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  here. If you don't feel loved by a
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  narcissist and you don't have kids with them, don't have kids
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  with them because that lack of love will spread.
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  It's like bringing willfully bringing kids into a toxic gas
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  environment. Y'all.
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  Don't do that. You know what I mean?
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  I know it's all some people's control, but you know, now wake
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  up kids, don't change narcissists.
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  Kids make kids give narcissists more leverage and more power.
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  Anyway, y'all thank you for tuning in.
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  Make sure you subscribe to the channel if you already have it.
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  With all this is up, peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
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  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
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  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
• 12:32
  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
• 12:34
  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
• 12:37
  here for you to purchase my kids.
• 12:39
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon, so check that
• 12:42
  out. Thank you.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.