Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why do Narcissists want to have kids?
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:02Today we are answering the question, why do narcissists
- 0:06have children? Why do narcissists that have
- 0:09kids? Tough one if you're new here, My
- 0:11name is Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:13narcissist and welcome to episode 985 of the Narcissist
- 0:17Code. Boom.
- 0:35Welcome back. Welcome back.
- 0:35Welcome back. So yeah, this is a tough one.
- 0:39Y'all. This is a tough, tough.
- 0:40This is a tail episode right here.
- 0:42Not tough an aspect that I I can't get through it because I'm
- 0:45going to be highly emotional. But it's a tough episode because
- 0:48I know people are going to see the description or to see the
- 0:50title, to see the thumbnail and be like, well, Lee is just
- 0:54ableist or yeah, people will conjure up anything they want to
- 0:58conjure up just based on the thumbnail and they'll just be
- 1:00talking. I know how people are, but
- 1:02that's not how this is, you know, that's not how this video
- 1:04is going to be. That's not how the video is
- 1:06going to be about Like, this is literally, somebody put a
- 1:09comment in my comment section yesterday and asked me the
- 1:11question, why do narcissists have kids?
- 1:14You know, because a lot of people, let's start off with
- 1:16this right here. A lot of people don't think that
- 1:20narcissists have the ability to love anybody but themselves.
- 1:23A lot of people don't think that narcissists can love anybody
- 1:26else other than themselves. So why bother having kids if you
- 1:29cannot love your kids? So that's where my mindset comes
- 1:33in, that right there. But the difference in how my
- 1:35mind works is that I do think that narcissists can love their
- 1:38children. You know, I sometimes I I just,
- 1:39I did a video very recently about can narcissists love their
- 1:43children. And that's the first thing that
- 1:44I said. Sometimes narcissists only love
- 1:46the kids, sometimes narcissists only care about the kids.
- 1:50I don't think that narcissists have enough emotions to go
- 1:53around, enough, you know, positive emotions to go around.
- 1:57I describe it as limited emotional capacity.
- 2:00So narcissists do have the ability to love people, but not
- 2:04everybody that's going to get that love.
- 2:05Not everybody's going to get that affection.
- 2:07Not everybody's going to get the care and the kindness and the
- 2:10compassion from that narcissist or toxic person, you know what
- 2:13I'm saying? So narcissists, some narcissists
- 2:16have kids because they want kids, because they want to have
- 2:20a family. They want to love their
- 2:21children, they want to try to raise them up.
- 2:23It doesn't mean that's how it's always going to be.
- 2:26Let me say that right there. Just because they have kids,
- 2:28because they love, they think they love the kids or they have
- 2:30to benefit, they love kids, doesn't mean that they're going
- 2:33to be great parents. Let's just say that, you know,
- 2:35and that goes for anybody, not just narcissists, but
- 2:38narcissists in particular who we talk about.
- 2:39It's like just because they have children doesn't mean they're
- 2:42going to, that they're going to be exceptional parents, you
- 2:45know, because in my video I made about narcissists love of their
- 2:49children, some people say they, a lot of people agree with me.
- 2:51They were just like, yeah, my narcissistic partner, it only
- 2:54only cares about the kids. My narcissistic partner only
- 2:57does things for the kids. My narcissistic partner only
- 3:00does this. My narcissistic partner only
- 3:02says this. It became like they only do
- 3:04things for the children. So narcissist.
- 3:06Some narcissists have kids because they love their kids.
- 3:10They think that they have enough love to give and whatnot.
- 3:14They they they have enough love to go around to be able to care
- 3:16for children and have a family and things like that.
- 3:18But a lot of times it doesn't work out that way because they
- 3:21end up neglecting their kids, they end up neglecting their
- 3:23partner and they also end up neglecting themselves, which
- 3:26leads to kids being raised in traumatic households or kids
- 3:29being raised in, you know, in emotionally turbulent household
- 3:33and things like that, situations like that.
- 3:35So that happens quite a bit within these spaces.
- 3:38That's what I'm just telling people.
- 3:39Like some narcissists have kids because they love their kids.
- 3:43You know, they they they have, they won't do.
- 3:45They want to have a family. They want to love, They want to
- 3:47give love. You know, they want to, they
- 3:51want to give the love that they might not have received when
- 3:54they were growing up. So there's a lot of narcissists
- 3:57themselves come from toxic households, right?
- 4:00So I if I come from a toxic household, then I might have a
- 4:04toxic mindset. You see what I'm saying?
- 4:06If I myself am coming from a toxic household, then I might
- 4:09have the mindset of a toxic person.
- 4:11You know, I might have the thought process of a toxic
- 4:13person and like, I might feel neglected as a kid.
- 4:16So I, you know, I'm neglected as a child, right?
- 4:21So I want to be able, I want to correct the mistakes of my past.
- 4:24Does it always work out that way?
- 4:26No. We always know.
- 4:28I'm not laughing because it's funny, but it doesn't always
- 4:29work out that way. They want to correct the
- 4:31mistakes of their past. They want to give the love that
- 4:33they didn't receive. They want to raise a kid in a
- 4:37way that they were not raised. But does it work out their way
- 4:39out of time? No, no, it doesn't always work
- 4:41out that way. You know, people's goals shifts,
- 4:43people's behaviors shift and whatnot.
- 4:47Another reason why narcissists do have children is this is
- 4:52probably the reason a lot of people we know right here is to
- 4:55trap people. Some narcissists cannot love
- 4:58their kids. They do not want to give love to
- 5:00kids. They think they see kids as, you
- 5:03know, access. They see kids as keys.
- 5:06You know both both They see they see their they see their kids as
- 5:10keys to access keys to access somebody else's life.
- 5:14You simply say keys that remain in somebody else's life in some
- 5:17way shape or form. They both there.
- 5:19So both of those words start with the word K, the letter K
- 5:22kids and keys. They see their kids as keys.
- 5:24So they they have kids to trap people quote UN quote trap.
- 5:29I know trapping is, you know, it depends on how what your it
- 5:32depends on what your thought process is.
- 5:34But not everybody can get trapped or whatever.
- 5:36But, you know, but they use kids as a reason to trap you, the
- 5:40reason to keep you there, a reason to show you that, show
- 5:42you that they love you. You know, not even to have kids
- 5:46that care about kids. They have kids to show you that
- 5:50they care about you. You see what I'm saying?
- 5:52They just have those kids in order to keep you here, in order
- 5:55to keep you around, in order to be here for you.
- 5:58That's what happens to a lot of these toxic, narcissistic
- 6:00relationships. They want to keep you around,
- 6:03even even if they don't want kids.
- 6:06They have kids to keep you around to, to have that access
- 6:09to you at all times. And that's why you I talked to
- 6:12so many people that have this back and forth story of going
- 6:16back and forth with their toxic partner because of the kids.
- 6:19Like like are they good parents at least?
- 6:21Like, no, they're horrible parents.
- 6:22But me and them, we're always going back and forth and when I
- 6:26get discarded or I break it with them, the kids are the first
- 6:29thing to go. They they would no longer want
- 6:30their relationship with the children either.
- 6:33So that happens all the time. That happens within these
- 6:36spaces. That happens within these
- 6:37dynamics. So I'm just telling you, if
- 6:39you're dealing with a narcissistic person, some
- 6:41narcissist will have kids just only to remain in their kids
- 6:45life. You see what I'm saying?
- 6:47To remain in your life, to have access to you, they don't have
- 6:50any interest in parenting. They want to use the kids,
- 6:53leverage that type of stuff out there.
- 6:54Kids end up being leverage points.
- 6:56I'm going to use a kid to stay in your life.
- 6:59They don't care about the kids. They don't, They don't have any
- 7:01intent on being there for the kids.
- 7:03They just use the kids as a reason to stay within your life.
- 7:06They stay within your space. And that happens quite a bit.
- 7:08Y'all understand that. You definitely get it a lot.
- 7:11A lot of you have been in been in this space right here where
- 7:15you definitely understand that narcissists have kids because
- 7:19you know, just they want to trap you.
- 7:21They want it like, oh, I'm and this happens a lot.
- 7:24You know, I'm baby. I'm baby daddy #8 or 7.
- 7:29You know. Yeah.
- 7:30No, no, no, no, no, wait, wait. I mean, I I think I might have
- 7:33did that backwards. No.
- 7:34But sometimes that happens too, though, from the from the
- 7:36woman's side of things. A woman can have a kid with a a
- 7:40narcissistic woman can have a kid with a man to remain in that
- 7:43man's life to have access to that man.
- 7:46And a man can do the same thing, you know, to the to a woman.
- 7:49So they just in that space right there and they can use the kids
- 7:52as levers. They can threaten to take the
- 7:53kids from you. They can threaten to take you to
- 7:55court. It just becomes keys to torture
- 7:57you with. They don't have any emotional
- 7:59connection to the kids. They just have the kids.
- 8:01You know, the kids are a result of us sleeping together and
- 8:05whatnot. I'll also say this as well.
- 8:10Another reason, y'all. Another reason that narcissists
- 8:15have kids is because it makes them feel normal.
- 8:20Not because they love the kids, not because they care about the
- 8:22kids. It's what you A lot of
- 8:24narcissists have identity crisis, right?
- 8:27Like, we feel like we don't fit into society.
- 8:30We don't know what normalcy looks like.
- 8:32So when we are mirroring other people, what does it look like?
- 8:35Right? What is it?
- 8:36What? You know?
- 8:37What do other people have? What makes it?
- 8:39What? What makes other people look
- 8:41normal? What makes other people look
- 8:44normal? Getting married, Having kids.
- 8:48So a lot of some narcissists will absolutely just have kids
- 8:51because it makes them look like a normal human being.
- 8:54It makes them look like a normal person.
- 8:56Yeah, quote UN quote, normal person.
- 8:59It makes them feel like they fit into society.
- 9:01Hey, I got kids. I'm a person.
- 9:03Hey, I'm a human being. I'm not an outlier.
- 9:05I'm not an alien. I'm a person with feelings.
- 9:07I'm a I'm a human being. They have kids just to fit into
- 9:12society. And this is like, I just did a
- 9:14video very recently about some narcissists have kids.
- 9:18I mean, get married to fit in. The same thing applies to why
- 9:21they have Some of them have kids.
- 9:23They just have kids because they want to fit into society.
- 9:25Hey, look, I'm a parent. I'm a human being.
- 9:28I'm AI have kids. So I'm a person.
- 9:30Look at me. Look at me.
- 9:31Look at me. You know what I mean?
- 9:33Look at me. I'm a human.
- 9:36I'm. I am not a narcissistic robot.
- 9:39I created life. So I cannot be a robot.
- 9:44Do you understand me? But that happens too, though.
- 9:51They just deal with they deal with the fit in.
- 9:52And I would say this right here. I'm gonna leave y'all with this
- 9:55last reason right here. I know there could be some other
- 9:57reasons. Why do y'all think narcissists
- 9:58have kids? Leave some reasons in the
- 10:00comment section as well. Let's have a discussion in the
- 10:02comment section. But I think another reason
- 10:05narcissists have kids is for money.
- 10:08Some people see kids as money. Financial things, you know,
- 10:12financial beings. These kids bring money into my
- 10:15life. Are you?
- 10:16You see what I'm saying? They bring money into my life in
- 10:19some way, shape or form. And this can go on both sides of
- 10:22the dynamic. From a narcissistic woman or
- 10:24from a narcissistic man, you know, and especially if y'all
- 10:28haven't, if you have a kid by a bum narcissistic person, they
- 10:31refuses to work or whatever and you work and you take care of
- 10:34the kids and stuff like that. And then you like, I'm, I'm sick
- 10:36and tired of this. I'm getting divorced and you
- 10:39making money. Like y'all they will a crowd
- 10:42here that's seen this story happening before.
- 10:43They will take you for spousal support and now they have an
- 10:46income. You see, do you see do you see
- 10:51It's it's wildest money is involved in the thought process
- 10:54of why some narcissists have kids.
- 10:55Y'all so that's wildest. I hope y'all got some.
- 10:59You know, if you have kids, buy narcissists.
- 11:01I do have my children's book. Remember, it's not your fault.
- 11:04It's available on Amazon. Check it out to help kids
- 11:06understand telling them the truth.
- 11:07Setting boundaries and not take, you know blame for their parents
- 11:11separation or divorce or something like that.
- 11:14But anyways, y'all thank you for tuning in.
- 11:15Make sure you subscribe to the channel if you haven't, but the
- 11:18illness is up. Peace.
- 11:20Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 11:22You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
- 11:24for being here. If you haven't already, make
- 11:26sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
- 11:29watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
- 11:31There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
- 11:34kids. But remember, it's not your
- 11:36fault on Amazon so check that out.
- 11:38Thank you. I will see you in the next
- 11:40video. Peace.