Latest / WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas / 62. Beyond Small Talk: Networking as an Introvert with Monica Schrock

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62. Beyond Small Talk: Networking as an Introvert with Monica Schrock · WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas

0:00
SPEAKER_01: I don't know about you, but I am so over being on my phone, on even Zoom right now as I'm recording this podcast episode.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: Really, in general, screens.
0:11
SPEAKER_01: Not only am I and you getting over it, but companies and businesses are taking notice.
0:18
SPEAKER_01: So what does this mean?
0:21
SPEAKER_01: And I'm sorry to my introverts and even this post-pandemic world.
0:25
SPEAKER_01: This means more events, conferences, meeting with other people in person.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: But after being in a pandemic and social distancing, or maybe you're an introvert, it kind of feels awkward to network.
0:37
SPEAKER_01: Like maybe this is what's coming up in your mind.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to do small talk.
0:42
SPEAKER_01: Or I don't want to seem like I'm using someone.
0:45
SPEAKER_01: Or how do I do this thing called networking again?
0:49
SPEAKER_01: Well, don't worry if you need support.
0:52
SPEAKER_01: Cause today I'm joined by my client, friend, and marketing strategist Monica Schrock to talk about how to network in this post-pandemic world.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: So let's drop the beat.
1:06
SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'm Elaine Lucarthas.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm a business and care coach for women of color and allies.
1:13
SPEAKER_01: LA Weekly awarded me the number one thought leader, and Apple News named me one of the top five business coaches.
1:22
SPEAKER_01: Going through an identity crisis, professionally or personally, we'll get ready to have some conscious conversations.
1:29
SPEAKER_01: Now grab your coffee, tea, or boba, and let's colour your dreams too.
1:34
SPEAKER_01: Lead your legacy.
1:42
SPEAKER_01: This is the fourth podcast episode with my day.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: And Monica Schrock, welcome back.
1:49
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
1:49
SPEAKER_02: Happy to be here.
1:50
SPEAKER_02: Also, you've got that legacy leaders down.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: I am so like locked in.
1:55
SPEAKER_02: It might be for my marketing strategist or something.
1:58
SPEAKER_01: So for those that don't know who Monica is, where have you been?
2:03
SPEAKER_01: Monica is a dear friend, a client, my marketing strategist.
2:08
SPEAKER_01: You are players, man.
2:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:11
SPEAKER_01: Introvert.
2:12
SPEAKER_01: Soon to be former basketball player.
2:16
SPEAKER_01: I only say that because you're talking about being old.
2:19
SPEAKER_01: And we're going to be able to do that.
2:20
SPEAKER_02: We might be hanging up the hanging up the basketball shoes soon in the rafters.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: We'll see what happens.
2:26
SPEAKER_01: Monka's my introvert to my extrovert.
2:29
SPEAKER_01: What else?
2:30
SPEAKER_01: What else do you want to talk about yourself?
2:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, non-binary human, which I love.
2:35
SPEAKER_02: And I have two cats, which are very important to me.
2:37
SPEAKER_01: Their names.
2:38
SPEAKER_01: Give their names.
2:39
SPEAKER_01: Give their names.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: Omar Little and Biggie Smalls.
2:42
SPEAKER_02: Omar is a black cat and Biggie Smalls is a tortoise shell.
2:45
SPEAKER_02: And I live up here in the Portland, Oregon area.
2:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Monica left LA, but it's fine.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: And I moved to LA.
2:53
SPEAKER_01: This is my first podcast episode in the new home.
2:56
SPEAKER_01: Congratulations.
2:58
SPEAKER_01: It has a new vibe.
2:59
SPEAKER_01: I know.
3:00
SPEAKER_01: We'll talk more about that in another podcast interview, but this is about Monica.
3:04
SPEAKER_01: So I was talking to Monica, and I've also noticed from my clients, especially in this like post-pandemic world.
3:10
SPEAKER_01: I know some people are still getting COVID.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
3:13
SPEAKER_01: How to network.
3:14
SPEAKER_01: How to network as an introvert, how to network in this post-pandemic world.
3:19
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't know if you remember Monica.
3:21
SPEAKER_01: Remember that first time when things started opening up and you're in a big crowd, like, what do I do?
3:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was very uncomfortable.
3:30
SPEAKER_02: Very confusing and uncomfortable.
3:32
SPEAKER_02: You're like, how do I feel?
3:34
SPEAKER_02: Like I want to feel good about this, but also I don't know.
3:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
3:38
SPEAKER_02: And also, like, I well, I guess something to say is that I brand unsocially inclined.
3:44
SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's my LLC that I do all my work under, but I used to do a lot of content around introverts in business.
3:51
SPEAKER_02: And networking was like a huge sticking point even before the pandemic.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: And I also wanted to share.
3:58
SPEAKER_01: I know the title of this podcast has the word introvert, but hey, this could help you if you're an extrovert.
4:04
SPEAKER_01: And I'm an extrovert too.
4:06
SPEAKER_01: So just know we are open to all introvert, extrovert.
4:10
SPEAKER_01: What's the what's the other one?
4:11
SPEAKER_01: Ambert.
4:13
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
4:13
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
4:14
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm educating myself.
4:16
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
4:17
SPEAKER_01: We're not trying to push an agenda to be an extroversion school or introversion school.
4:21
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
4:21
SPEAKER_01: We're not pushing that here.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: I'm non-binary, so I would never push that.
4:27
SPEAKER_02: I'm all about the spectrum.
4:30
SPEAKER_01: So let's just get into it.
4:32
SPEAKER_01: What are some misconceptions about introverts and networking that you just want to squash now?
4:38
SPEAKER_01: Just squash it.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: I think a big one is that all introverts are shy.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: Like that's not what it means.
4:46
SPEAKER_01: No, and let me just say, we just had my retreat and I had to keep yelling at Monica to quiet it down.
4:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:54
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm I'm not shy.
4:56
SPEAKER_02: I used to be shy, to be fair, to all transparency.
5:00
SPEAKER_02: I did when I was like a kid and a teenager.
5:02
SPEAKER_02: I was very shy.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: But I do not have social anxiety.
5:05
SPEAKER_02: So those are like two different things, right?
5:07
SPEAKER_02: And that's like another topic for another day.
5:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:11
SPEAKER_02: So just to clarify, I do not have social anxiety, but I totally can like sympathize with that reality for sure.
5:17
SPEAKER_02: I know a lot of people close to me that do.
5:19
SPEAKER_02: But I would say a misconception about people who are introverted is that they're automatically shy or socially anxious, I guess.
5:27
SPEAKER_02: And really, like the purest definition, as far as like I know, is that introverts do not get energy from interacting with other people.
5:36
SPEAKER_02: It drains their energy.
5:38
SPEAKER_02: And again, black and white definition: extroverts do get energy from interacting with other people and need that.
5:45
SPEAKER_02: And introverts, introverts need it too.
5:47
SPEAKER_02: Like we're not just, we can't be homebodies all the time, you know.
5:50
SPEAKER_02: We still are humans that like want to be in a pack of people and like be included, you know?
5:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:56
SPEAKER_02: Like that meme that's always like, I want to be invited, but I don't want to go.
5:59
SPEAKER_02: I want to be included, but I don't want to go.
6:01
SPEAKER_02: You know, that like funny introvert meme.
6:03
SPEAKER_02: It's like we still want that.
6:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
6:05
SPEAKER_01: It's really funny because uh my partner, Albert, I mean, he is an introvert.
6:10
SPEAKER_01: So sometimes Albert's like, for sure.
6:14
SPEAKER_01: And it's it's funny because I, my fellow extroverts, if you have a partner or even a friend who's an introvert, straight up ask, you know, sometimes like as extroverts, we just want to talk because we like love you so much.
6:26
SPEAKER_01: You want to talk.
6:26
SPEAKER_01: And I notice like Albert does like sometimes like short sentences or words, and I have to straight up ask, Do you need me time right now?
6:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:35
SPEAKER_02: You know what's funny is it's like not always that I even want to be alone in a room.
6:39
SPEAKER_02: It's that a lot of times extroverts will want to fill the silence because they feel uncomfortable with it.
6:45
SPEAKER_02: And you're just like, we can just sit here.
6:48
SPEAKER_02: Like we can sit here and do what we're doing on our own.
6:51
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
6:52
SPEAKER_02: That's usually me.
6:53
SPEAKER_02: Because I'm like, I don't need you to leave the room, but we don't need to like feel uncomfortable with the silence.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: I will say that I used to be a lot like that when I was younger, and more so now that I'm in my 30s, yeah.
7:04
SPEAKER_01: I actually do like the quiet.
7:06
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, that drive when you're in a car and it's a road trip, yeah.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: You need to have sounds, but now I'm like, you know what?
7:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna enjoy this view of the mountains or whatever it is.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: And I think I think another thing I'm also hearing too is obviously you're louder.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we're we've been friends for how many years, but yeah, I'm louder.
7:23
SPEAKER_01: You're louder or just more comfortable with people you feel safe with.
7:27
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, absolutely.
7:29
SPEAKER_01: And if you don't feel safe with someone, then I'm not gonna be I'm gonna be a different, I'm gonna be a more button.
7:34
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to say I'm never buttoned up, but like, yeah, I'm not gonna let as much like seep out for sure.
7:40
SPEAKER_02: Like I'm gonna be a more like guarded version of myself for sure.
7:44
SPEAKER_02: And also, guarded might not might not be the right word, but I am going to conserve.
7:48
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna conserve my energy because I'm like, I don't know if this person is like who I want to spend that energy on if I don't know them very well.
7:57
SPEAKER_01: And that is a strength.
7:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
8:00
SPEAKER_01: Right.
8:00
SPEAKER_01: Because I mean, when I was a former fundraiser, I would go to a lot of fundraising events, meetings.
8:06
SPEAKER_01: By the time I get home, I want to be in a cave because that was just so much energy I expended.
8:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:13
SPEAKER_02: And I think like the other misconception is that's like introverts like don't want to talk to people.
8:18
SPEAKER_02: Like just don't want to.
8:21
SPEAKER_02: Because like that's not true.
8:22
SPEAKER_02: Introverts still want to connect with people, like even on an like on an emotional level, but even like on a like networking level.
8:29
SPEAKER_02: I don't think like there's a lack of wanting to be able to do that, in my opinion, from what I've like gathered.
8:36
SPEAKER_02: Not just to like I feel like I can't.
8:38
SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'm curious, not going against you.
8:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm just saying based off my relationship, right?
8:43
SPEAKER_01: So let's say we're lost or we're we're at Target, we're looking for something.
8:47
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, Albert will look at the Target app to go find it.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, why are you looking at it?
8:54
SPEAKER_01: There's like a staff member right there.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go ask.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: You don't have to go ask, like they're right there.
8:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm just saying.
9:01
SPEAKER_02: That's so funny.
9:02
SPEAKER_02: So I don't know if you feel like I think that's like a mix of things, but I would say, yeah, I would say introverts generalizing would not want to do that.
9:08
SPEAKER_02: I think for me, I worked in customer service so long, which is what strengthened my like muscle of being able to interact with people a lot more and like feel comfortable with that and not be so like introverted about it.
9:21
SPEAKER_02: Cause now for me, if I'm gonna go talk to the target person, that's not a lot of energy.
9:24
SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna be like, hey, like we're looking for this thing.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: Do you know where it is?
9:28
SPEAKER_02: Like, boom, boom, boom.
9:29
SPEAKER_02: You know?
9:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
9:36
SPEAKER_02: I just wanted to be able to find it on my own and like go about my day.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: So I think that could be like a personality thing too.
9:42
SPEAKER_02: But I do think generally speaking, introverts are like, nah, Tom does that too.
9:46
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm like, I'm just gonna find someone.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: Well, I wanted to ask too, because so often I think people think like it's a it's you're born with it in terms of communicating and talking to other people and networking.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: And what I've tried I've shared with my own clients, it's a skill you could learn.
10:03
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, yeah.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: You can strengthen that muscle.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: So one of the things I've heard from introverts and others, not just introverts, they hate small talk.
10:14
SPEAKER_01: Like I don't want to sound fake.
10:17
SPEAKER_01: How can I make sure I'm not fake and it could actually be meaningful?
10:21
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't want to seem like I'm using someone.
10:23
SPEAKER_01: So I would love to get your take on that.
10:25
SPEAKER_02: These are these are a couple different things I would say.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: But I agree.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: I I think maybe your disposition, you're born with a like a personality, like just a temperament.
10:36
SPEAKER_02: That's the word I was looking for.
10:37
SPEAKER_02: You're like born with a certain temperament and how you how much you like to like emote and like, and then of course, those things are your environment shapes those things very much, probably when you're a kid.
10:47
SPEAKER_02: But I will say, as someone who was super shy and still can be in some ways, but really was like a hundred percent of the time, like even with my family and stuff, like when I was younger, it was something that I had to challenge myself to do.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: Like, and for me, it was like money motivated.
11:03
SPEAKER_02: When I was a teenager, I worked at a restaurant when I was 16 or 15, I was a host, and then a couple years in, I could be like a server.
11:12
SPEAKER_02: But I knew that that meant like a lot of interaction with people and sometimes like not fun or comfortable interactions, you know, like it's gonna be very surface level, which is something that we don't like all that much, you know.
11:26
SPEAKER_02: But then again, it's like you don't have to go that deep, and like that can be kind of comfortable too, depending on like who you are.
11:35
SPEAKER_02: So I really was like, I want to make more money.
11:37
SPEAKER_02: So honestly, being a server, like was like, I think, in my experience, crucial to me being less shy and being more confident going up to random people and asking things, but also just being like, oh, I mean we know what we're here for.
11:52
SPEAKER_02: Like, you're here to pay me to give you food and make sure you have everything you need, and like I'm here for the money.
11:59
SPEAKER_01: I loved how you're just so like you just figured out like, oh, I think what I'm hearing is like this is our roles in this situation.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: This is our roles in this situation, and here's my boundaries.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: Am I gonna share my little whole life story?
12:12
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm gonna ask you if you want wheat or white on your sandwich.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:17
SPEAKER_02: And I'll, you know, I'll make a little small talk to be personable.
12:21
SPEAKER_02: Because that's what people that's what makes people like, and not in a way where I'm trying to like dig into people, but that's what makes people feel less guarded.
12:30
SPEAKER_02: You know?
12:31
SPEAKER_02: Like we like we don't like small talk, and I get it.
12:34
SPEAKER_02: It's so like, how's the weather?
12:35
SPEAKER_02: Like, this is not a fun conversation, but I think that's the case when we're just like randomly talking to someone and there's no like hope to go any farther.
12:46
SPEAKER_02: Like this is just a person that you're just coming across, and you are not, you know, you this small talk isn't is not a gateway to anything else, you know.
12:54
SPEAKER_02: But in a like networking situation, I think there needs to be like a reframe around what small talk is.
13:00
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, let's talk about that because I mean, I mean, you're a marketing strategist, I'm a business coach.
13:06
SPEAKER_01: Both of us have noticed it's 2023 when I'm recording this podcast that you cannot just be online.
13:11
SPEAKER_01: You have to go back to person.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: So events, conferences, networking.
13:15
SPEAKER_01: What advice or tips would you have for someone who's an introvert?
13:18
SPEAKER_01: Or maybe it's just because it's a post-pandemic world, how do you start networking again?
13:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
13:23
SPEAKER_02: And I think the small talk thing, I think reframing it with this networking like lens, because that's what we're talking about.
13:31
SPEAKER_02: And these are the situations we'd be doing it.
13:34
SPEAKER_02: Like, this is more of a like to me, so to me as an introvert, and to other introverts I've helped, it's like we have to be more strategic.
13:41
SPEAKER_02: We're not gonna be able in this like networking situation to throw like spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks.
13:47
SPEAKER_02: Like, we don't have that many spaghetti noodles.
13:48
SPEAKER_02: We have to go, we have to conserve our too many noodles.
13:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we have a couple, and that's as much as we're gonna be able to throw.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: So, like, we need to be very Why do I feel like this is like a Pokemon game?
14:00
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
14:01
SPEAKER_01: Like the Pokemon balls, and I have X amount to throw in.
14:04
SPEAKER_02: You only have Pokemon amount of Pokemon balls, and so extroverts will have more.
14:09
SPEAKER_02: They're just gonna have more.
14:10
SPEAKER_02: So there's no right or wrong.
14:12
SPEAKER_02: There's no right or wrong, but there is the reality that we're not gonna be able to just be like la la la to like everyone in the room.
14:19
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
14:20
SPEAKER_02: Like it's just not we don't want to.
14:22
SPEAKER_02: In this case, this is a want thing too.
14:24
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to talk to everyone in the room.
14:26
SPEAKER_02: Like, I want to have my energy like not completely like depleted when I leave a room because there's probably more stuff to do that day.
14:34
SPEAKER_02: And go to meetings and yeah, like so many other things to do that day.
14:39
SPEAKER_02: So for me, it was about being strategic.
14:41
SPEAKER_02: And when I like just going back real quick to the small talk thing, like how how else would we start a conversation?
14:48
SPEAKER_02: Like, what else are you gonna do?
14:50
SPEAKER_02: Unless they were a speaker and you're like, I love the thing you said, and then let's talk about it.
14:55
SPEAKER_02: But like otherwise, it's like, you know, something needs to spark the situation, and you're gonna do a little bit of quote unquote small talk to be able to connect with this person on just a like not business or career level, just on a like, oh, you know, uh for me, it's like I try to find common ground.
15:13
SPEAKER_02: Like at the end of the day.
15:15
SPEAKER_02: I think for me, common ground, like if someone has tattoos, like, and I have a lot of tattoos, you can't really tell.
15:20
SPEAKER_02: Here's some like next situation, but it's it's fun for me to be like, oh my gosh, that tattoo's super cool.
15:26
SPEAKER_02: Like, I love, you know, and I think like it really is about being like, okay, like this this is small talk to make us feel like we're connecting, to be comfortable.
15:36
SPEAKER_02: It's not fake, you know, because you want to get to know this person, generally speaking.
15:41
SPEAKER_02: Because business is not transactional necessarily like anymore.
15:46
SPEAKER_02: Like, think about even me serving tables, people who came into the restaurant all the time came back and requested me.
15:51
SPEAKER_02: Like at that point, that relationship is not purely transactional.
15:55
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
15:56
SPEAKER_01: There was when I was when I used to do political organizing, we always talked about how the first time a volunteer comes in is for the candidate and the second time is for you, like all the second, third, and all that time.
16:08
SPEAKER_01: And it's interesting because I know you love sports, but it's what I find with people who love sports, like for example, my partner, and there's always like a bar or they have something, they're wearing a logo, and it's like, oh, sorry, guys.
16:24
SPEAKER_01: I didn't I don't mean to cry create controversy here, but it's like, oh, the giants suck.
16:28
SPEAKER_01: That's dodgers all the way.
16:30
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
16:31
SPEAKER_01: Boo, yeah.
16:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, it's that like common ground that like generally speaking is like a team, but the sports the sport, yeah.
16:40
SPEAKER_02: It creates this like playful competitiveness.
16:43
SPEAKER_02: Generally speaking, sometimes people get out of hand, but like that's what I love about sports, honestly.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: That's one of the things I love.
16:51
SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying you go love a team, but there's always something that you can see.
16:56
SPEAKER_02: And I will say, if you're comfortable sharing things about yourself, if you don't want to do small talk in a networking event in the sense that you're like, oh, the weather's really nice.
17:04
SPEAKER_02: Like things that we, you know, like relate to small talk, I think a lot of the times you don't know if there's common ground with people just by looking at them.
17:13
SPEAKER_02: Like, how would you?
17:14
SPEAKER_02: Unless there's a tattoo situation or a really colorful hair situation in which both of us will usually compliment each other on those things.
17:20
SPEAKER_02: So that's like an easy in.
17:22
SPEAKER_02: But a lot of the times I'll just like whatever you feel, like I always tell like clients, whatever you feel comfortable sharing with people, share it.
17:30
SPEAKER_02: Because at the end of the day, people want to connect, like I said.
17:32
SPEAKER_02: And like for me, I can't tell by looking at a person, unless they have like comic book tattoos, that people that they like that.
17:38
SPEAKER_02: But a lot of the times I'll just mention, like, oh yeah, I read a lot of comic books, and then people will be like, oh, me too, or oh, I used to collect them, or oh, like whatever things you feel comfortable sharing about yourself, giving a little bit of information about the things you like creates those like common grounds.
17:53
SPEAKER_02: And even if they don't like the same thing you do, if I'm like, oh my God, I love basketball, they're like, Oh, I feel the same way about football or soccer or dancing or whatever, you know?
18:02
SPEAKER_02: Like it just like it's not manufactured, it's not less genuine.
18:07
SPEAKER_02: I mean, we do that in social settings too.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: Like, why would it be like fake in this sit setting if it's not fake in the other setting?
18:14
SPEAKER_02: And if all of it's fake, like I feel like you're still you.
18:17
SPEAKER_02: Like you're not being fake, you're just having to like, you know, be strategic about how you're communicating, which is like our entire existence.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:26
SPEAKER_02: So we're we're just making it something else because the word networking is a part of the situation.
18:33
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's just interesting, like hearing, like find that common ground.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: And also, to be honest, for me, I mean, yes, I'm an extrovert, but now that I'm older, I am very picky with who I talk to as opposed to when I was in my 20s.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm like, who has good energy?
18:48
SPEAKER_01: Because you know, I mean, I'll be at common.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna tell who you want to talk to.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm like, okay, they're just talking way too much, and I will be transparent.
18:56
SPEAKER_01: I used to be the person talking to every single person at the conference.
18:59
SPEAKER_01: And when and now when I go to events and conferences and I see that person, I'm like, oh my god, they have way too much energy.
19:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:05
SPEAKER_02: And then for me, it depends, right?
19:07
SPEAKER_02: Because like, even if they're way too much energy, but I can tell that they're like a connector and they do something complimentary to me, I'm like, cool, I don't have the energy to do that.
19:18
SPEAKER_02: So like that's so I'm gonna Monica use of me.
19:22
SPEAKER_01: I don't even want to be using is a strong.
19:24
SPEAKER_01: Monica puts an army of extroverts to brag about them and Monica bias.
19:29
SPEAKER_01: No, honestly, I know, I know, I know.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: That's like we do do that.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: That's a big introvert, like, you know, like strategy to me.
19:39
SPEAKER_02: Like, I find Share your secret.
19:41
SPEAKER_02: Share your secret.
19:42
SPEAKER_02: Cause like you think because like like think about, you know, the extroverts love to do that.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: Think about what we just said.
19:49
SPEAKER_02: Like, there's they're not doing that for me, they're doing that for them.
19:53
SPEAKER_02: And this happened yesterday, everyone.
19:56
SPEAKER_01: Monica sent a text message to me.
19:58
SPEAKER_01: Do you know so and so is like, oh yeah, they scheduled a call with me and then canceled it.
20:03
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't a good fit.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: That's totally cool.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: And Monica is like awkwardly, oh, they just paid a session with me.
20:10
SPEAKER_01: And then I was like, that's great.
20:12
SPEAKER_01: You're probably a better fit.
20:13
SPEAKER_02: No, and totally, we looked at the like intake form, and for what this person needs, I am a better fit.
20:18
SPEAKER_01: Also, but since it's being recorded, I am mad at Monica.
20:21
SPEAKER_02: Let's go on record.
20:22
SPEAKER_02: I'm kidding.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm kidding.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm kidding.
20:25
SPEAKER_01: Continue.
20:25
SPEAKER_02: No, but that is legitimately one of my strategies.
20:28
SPEAKER_02: And like, I don't, and then you can even tell someone that you don't have to be like, you don't have to hide anything.
20:34
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm transparent about everything that like I'm I do.
20:38
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, look, I do this for your people.
20:42
SPEAKER_02: You have clients that need this, you do this for your clients, and you need someone to refer to because your clients need this, and it's just gonna make them look good and it's gonna get me work and like they want to do all that stuff anyway.
20:52
SPEAKER_02: And honestly, they take pride in being able to connect people together and it working out.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Like, I just want to put that out.
21:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I do.
21:00
SPEAKER_02: Like, I've never met an extrovert that's like, oh my God, I introduced two people, like what a bummer.
21:05
SPEAKER_02: Like, like never, because that's just like part of their like how they operate in the world, and it's not how I operate in a lot of introverts.
21:14
SPEAKER_01: The text messages between me and Monica yesterday.
21:17
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I'm happy money was thrown at you.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you throw money at me too with other clients.
21:22
SPEAKER_01: I mean, yeah, I think it's knowing that you're not, I mean, not just extrovert, introvert, ambivert, but just in general, like owning, okay, this is what I do.
21:32
SPEAKER_01: I keep getting asked about this.
21:34
SPEAKER_01: Who do I know?
21:35
SPEAKER_01: And then connecting them, and then karma happens and you'll end up getting abundance somewhere else.
21:41
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
21:42
SPEAKER_02: And like, yeah, so like a strategy of mine is like look for the extroverts in the room.
21:48
SPEAKER_01: Like, why not?
21:49
SPEAKER_01: They will they will find the common ground in a conversation.
21:51
SPEAKER_02: They will find the common ground and they want to talk to you.
21:54
SPEAKER_02: Every extrovert loves to bring a little introvert under their wings.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: Like y'all love it.
22:02
SPEAKER_02: We love it.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: I I did put deodorant on, don't worry.
22:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
22:05
SPEAKER_02: Non-toxic.
22:06
SPEAKER_02: Non-toxic.
22:08
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I think it's like that's totally one of my strategies.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: And I think another one is like, again, being strategic with it in general.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: We're not, we don't have as much spaghetti, as many spaghetti noodles to throw on the wall.
22:19
SPEAKER_02: Pokemon balls.
22:22
SPEAKER_01: Legacy leader.
22:23
SPEAKER_01: I know what you're thinking.
22:25
SPEAKER_01: Elaine, you have such good stuff here.
22:27
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22:28
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23:42
SPEAKER_01: All right, let's get back to the episode.
23:48
SPEAKER_02: So we have to think.
23:50
SPEAKER_02: So if you're in like a networking situation and you can look at who's gonna be there beforehand, I highly recommend.
23:57
SPEAKER_02: Because then you can kind of look at because everyone has their like, you know, their title, usually their business.
24:02
SPEAKER_02: You can look up people's businesses, you can like do your research.
24:05
SPEAKER_02: I think that's a big one is do your research if you have the resources to do it, because then you'll feel a lot like more grounded in what you want to do.
24:13
SPEAKER_02: Like if there's three people, I always tell people like, make your goal to connect with two, three people, whatever you feel like you can do.
24:19
SPEAKER_02: I can do a little bit more now because I've strengthened like that muscle.
24:22
SPEAKER_02: So I feel confident doing five, six, maybe even more, depending.
24:26
SPEAKER_02: So it's like if you know that's what you got in your tanks, then like be strategic about it.
24:33
SPEAKER_02: Look at who's gonna be there, who compliments what you do, who could you learn from?
24:37
SPEAKER_02: Who is someone you just want to like be around their energy, maybe because they like, you know, do things the way you'd like to do them.
24:45
SPEAKER_02: Or, you know, whatever your kind of like aspiration is with this for this relationship, like do that research.
24:52
SPEAKER_02: And if you're at a conference or something, like we always do, because you know, introverts, we love gathering information, but sometimes we gather too much information and don't do anything, which is a struggle.
25:03
SPEAKER_02: It can be a challenge.
25:04
SPEAKER_02: So I think do what you do best and gather information, whether it's beforehand or while you're there, but then make sure you take the next step and introduce yourself to them and you know, let them know.
25:16
SPEAKER_02: I mean, for me, I always let them know.
25:17
SPEAKER_02: I let people know what like the intention is of me coming over there.
25:22
SPEAKER_02: I haven't met anyone that doesn't like when people are like just straightforward about why they're walking up to you.
25:27
SPEAKER_01: Wait, so like give an example.
25:29
SPEAKER_01: Let's say you're let's say you saw me and you, like, oh my god, her vibe.
25:34
SPEAKER_01: What would you say?
25:35
SPEAKER_01: The vibe.
25:36
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think I would be just really, I mean, how would you say my intention to talk to you is this?
25:40
SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, what would you say if you just came up to me?
25:43
SPEAKER_02: If I saw you and I liked your vibe, I would be like, hey, like, love what you do and the energy with which you do it with.
25:53
SPEAKER_01: Dude, as an extrovert, I'm like, I am loving this person.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
25:58
SPEAKER_01: Continue, continue, continue.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
26:00
SPEAKER_02: And I'd be like, specifically, I like that you said this.
26:04
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know what I mean?
26:05
SPEAKER_02: Like for me when I do things, people would be like, oh my gosh, I love that you said, like, for introverts, or I love that you said, like, you know, doing less social media or not doing all the marketing channels, like having being able to like cut some things out.
26:18
SPEAKER_02: So it's kind of like finding that thing that you really like liked about it, which you'll have something because you actually liked it.
26:23
SPEAKER_02: So you're not gonna have to fake anything, you know?
26:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:26
SPEAKER_02: Because you were into it.
26:27
SPEAKER_02: And if you feel like you need to fake it with someone, maybe they're not someone you want to be networking with at the end of the day.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: And I will say, so I went to two LinkedIn top community events and I did do my research.
26:41
SPEAKER_01: I put a spreadsheet.
26:42
SPEAKER_01: Well, I didn't do it, I had a team member do it.
26:43
SPEAKER_01: Put a spreadsheet, put the website, Instagram, Facebook, and I literally looked at everyone, but I wasn't reading everyone.
26:49
SPEAKER_01: It was more of a vibe check.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: And then if they seemed really cool who I want to connect with.
26:52
SPEAKER_01: But a thing is it it's not a question of how can this person help me?
26:57
SPEAKER_01: But to your point, what you were saying earlier, how can I even support them?
27:02
SPEAKER_01: Oh, 100% better question.
27:04
SPEAKER_01: Or like, oh, they also went to UC Irvine, you know, like even that commonality.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
27:11
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't all have to be work.
27:12
SPEAKER_02: And you know, it does not all have to be work.
27:14
SPEAKER_02: But I know honestly, networking events, I have made connections, but I make I've made a lot of like business connections because I'm out doing the things that I like, like playing basketball.
27:23
SPEAKER_02: People who play basketball are business owners or like, you know, doing the things in those like communities that I really like.
27:30
SPEAKER_02: And herein lies the rub, talking about what I do.
27:34
SPEAKER_02: Because introverts, bruh.
27:36
SPEAKER_02: Y'all gotta tell people what you do.
27:38
SPEAKER_01: Let's let's go there because a lot of people struggle with self-promotion.
27:43
SPEAKER_01: So, what tips do you have here?
27:45
SPEAKER_02: Let's go there.
27:45
SPEAKER_02: And this goes hand in hand because I didn't finish the example of telling someone like your intention.
27:49
SPEAKER_02: So I think this like really goes hand in hand with that.
27:51
SPEAKER_02: I apologize.
27:52
SPEAKER_01: I was an extrovert, I just cut you off.
27:54
SPEAKER_01: Continue.
27:54
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely not.
27:55
SPEAKER_02: So I think also it's like, like you were saying, how can you help them too?
27:59
SPEAKER_02: And the one thing that people always need is content.
28:02
SPEAKER_02: So let's just like let's just put that out there right now.
28:05
SPEAKER_01: Without Monica promoting themselves in this podcast episode.
28:09
SPEAKER_02: Everyone needs content.
28:11
SPEAKER_02: But even with this podcast episode as like a an example, if this person has a podcast, they're looking for people to be on their podcast.
28:19
SPEAKER_02: Like, you better believe it.
28:20
SPEAKER_02: Like they need content.
28:22
SPEAKER_02: So I think that's a huge thing to like think about if you want to be like, how can I like help them too?
28:27
SPEAKER_02: But at the end of the day, like if I was to walk up to someone and say what I said, like, love what you do, how you do it, I I do XYZ.
28:34
SPEAKER_02: And I think like I could like, we could like help each other by X and X.
28:38
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'd love to for you to be outcast on my podcast.
28:41
SPEAKER_02: Like, I absolutely like I have other business coaches so if it's a business coach, I have other business coach friends and I love to come in and like help their clients with like marketing hot seats or like XYZ.
28:51
SPEAKER_02: And it's just like kind of giving an example of how you do work with other people, I think is a big thing.
28:57
SPEAKER_02: But if you're not there yet, because for me, I'm very confident in just telling people, just from like historical context of how it's go, how it's gone for me.
29:06
SPEAKER_02: It's generally worked out.
29:07
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, when it comes to self-promotion for introverts, I know that can be like a sticky thing because here it is.
29:14
SPEAKER_02: This like, I'm being fake, I'm not being genuine, it's transactional.
29:19
SPEAKER_02: Like this, the these, like this small talk is just like surface level.
29:22
SPEAKER_02: And I think we really have to like challenge our relationship with those things.
29:27
SPEAKER_02: Because at the end of the day, like most of them aren't triggered.
29:32
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
29:33
SPEAKER_02: Like, I think that's just it.
29:34
SPEAKER_02: Like, if we're having a conversation with someone, regardless of how deep we think we can go, and introverts, we like to go deep rather than shallow.
29:41
SPEAKER_02: We want to go deep with fewer people instead of shallow with a lot of people.
29:45
SPEAKER_02: And that's still possible, which is why I was talking about being strategic about meeting three people in an event, even if you don't know beforehand, being like, I want to have a little bit deeper conversation with three people at this function.
29:57
SPEAKER_02: That's why I think that's important, is because we connect on a deeper level and having surface level conversations does not give us energy and does not make us feel fulfilled in the conversation or in the beginning of the relationship, right?
30:09
SPEAKER_02: Like for me, a lot of the times I can tell when it's shit's just surface level and I just want to fucking bounce because I'm not interested in having a surface level conversation with a person generally that I'm never gonna see again.
30:20
SPEAKER_02: And I think that's like the the definition of what why we don't like small talk, right?
30:25
SPEAKER_02: It's not the like, oh, we're gonna like share a few common sentences before getting into some business stuff.
30:30
SPEAKER_02: I think that's normal and something people want to do.
30:35
SPEAKER_02: You know, you don't want to be like, hey, like, my name's Monica, I do this, and I want I I want to connect with you because of this.
30:40
SPEAKER_02: Maybe some people might do that to you.
30:42
SPEAKER_02: I actually don't mind it.
30:44
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, thank God, because I don't want to waste my time.
30:46
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know.
30:47
SPEAKER_02: So I think it really depends on the personality.
30:49
SPEAKER_02: I don't recommend going with that strategy because I don't think a lot of people do like that.
30:53
SPEAKER_02: I just like to be one of the, I think I'm like one of the few that do like that.
30:56
SPEAKER_02: But I think with the self-promotion thing, it's like, okay, what may commerce is something we all participate in.
31:03
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm gonna say capitalism, unfortunately, but like even if we were to like dismantle the system of capitalism before, there's still commerce that happens.
31:11
SPEAKER_02: There's still services and goods that we're trading, selling to survive.
31:16
SPEAKER_02: So I think at its very core, like we do this.
31:20
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
31:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:22
SPEAKER_02: This is what we do.
31:23
SPEAKER_02: This is not abnormal.
31:25
SPEAKER_02: It is something that I think some people enjoy more than others.
31:29
SPEAKER_02: But if we're going to be introverts in an entrepreneurial space and we're the ones that have to market ourselves and get all our clients or sell our goods and do these other things, it's a muscle that needs to be strengthened and something that eventually just can't be an excuse.
31:44
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
31:45
SPEAKER_01: So I I was watching a documentary on Netflix.
31:49
SPEAKER_01: It was like multi-documentary, but it was about Bill Gates.
31:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
31:52
SPEAKER_01: And he is an introvert, right?
31:55
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
31:55
SPEAKER_01: But but that means he had the network.
31:57
SPEAKER_01: There's no way he didn't.
31:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: So I don't know if you know this, but so he's from the Pacific Northwest too.
32:03
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
32:03
SPEAKER_01: And his parents were really into philanthropy.
32:07
SPEAKER_01: And his parents knew that he doesn't want to stay in his room, read books, whatever basically what Bill Gates was created.
32:15
SPEAKER_01: But he would just read books and read books.
32:17
SPEAKER_01: And to to make him get out, they would make their son or Bill go out and he would be the greeter at these philanthropic events.
32:27
SPEAKER_01: That's like huge.
32:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:29
SPEAKER_01: So that forced him as a teenager to to socialize.
32:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:34
SPEAKER_01: But I'm sharing that like with even your example of being a wages, like it is a skill you can't learn.
32:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:40
SPEAKER_01: It's like basketball, it's like yoga, it's like Muay Thai.
32:45
SPEAKER_01: You continue learning it as a muscle.
32:47
SPEAKER_01: But I think what I'm also hearing as a strength, as an introvert, you create that as a muscle, but you still pick and choose who you want to connect with.
32:54
SPEAKER_01: You do not have to be an extrovert and talk to everybody.
32:57
SPEAKER_02: No, no, not at all.
32:59
SPEAKER_02: I that's totally 100%.
33:01
SPEAKER_02: It's like, and it is one of those things where, like, if you're choosing to have your own business, who else is advocating for your business in the beginning other than you?
33:10
SPEAKER_02: Like, no one.
33:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
33:12
SPEAKER_02: The answer to that question is no one.
33:15
SPEAKER_02: Like, because if you're not telling people what you're doing, it's impossible for other people to say your name in the rooms that you're not in, to advocate for your business, to just tell other people that you exist and you can help them.
33:26
SPEAKER_02: If you haven't told them first, it's not possible.
33:29
SPEAKER_02: Like there's no chicken or the egg.
33:30
SPEAKER_02: You have to tell people and self-promote what you do first.
33:32
SPEAKER_01: And what I do sometimes too when I meet someone, they're really cool, but I know that I can't support them.
33:38
SPEAKER_01: But I met someone else who might be able to, or they could get clients who are like, hey, you guys should meet.
33:43
SPEAKER_01: Like I was at a the podcast conference.
33:45
SPEAKER_01: See your connector.
33:47
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I'm the extroverter connector.
33:49
SPEAKER_01: I met, I met a woman who is a swinger.
33:53
SPEAKER_01: She has a swinger podcast.
33:55
SPEAKER_01: And then my other friend has a sexology podcast.
33:57
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, you both need to connect.
33:59
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't have a sex podcast.
34:01
SPEAKER_01: And they just hit it off.
34:03
SPEAKER_02: Amazing.
34:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:04
SPEAKER_02: And that's like a skill.
34:05
SPEAKER_02: That's a learned skill, too, that like introverts can do as well, where it's like seeing those connections.
34:11
SPEAKER_02: And that is value.
34:13
SPEAKER_02: Like it's value for me that I'm friends with extroverted connectors because like I don't have to promote myself as much because they do it a little bit more for me.
34:23
SPEAKER_02: But it's not like I'm not doing anything for them on the other end.
34:26
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
34:27
SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, whether I'm doing that with my time or supporting them with my skill or like doing the same.
34:33
SPEAKER_02: Because if I, you know, randomly meet people, I'm gonna like, but I think at the end of the day, like extroverts like doing that more.
34:39
SPEAKER_02: So I've never been in a situation where someone's been like, oh, you're not doing this as much for me because I think we know like our roles.
34:47
SPEAKER_02: Like what I do for them is I'm really good at what I do.
34:50
SPEAKER_02: So when when they refer me to someone and they hire me and I do the thing I'm really good at because I've spent all my time acquiring this knowledge because I'm an introvert and that's like the thing that I do, right?
35:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh my God.
35:01
SPEAKER_01: Sorry, I'm like, I'm just thinking about Albert right now, my partner.
35:04
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, yeah.
35:04
SPEAKER_01: Right.
35:05
SPEAKER_01: He will like do do research on it.
35:07
SPEAKER_01: Like I had to do put this podcast, use podcast stand, right?
35:11
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go like YouTube is like YouTube.
35:13
SPEAKER_01: The instruction manual is here.
35:14
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, why am I gonna look at an instruction manual when YouTube could show it to me in 15 seconds?
35:19
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, I definitely look at YouTube too.
35:22
SPEAKER_02: That just saves me time.
35:24
SPEAKER_02: But no, it's like, you know, that's like a very introverted quality, right?
35:27
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes again, we're too much information like overload and like kind of freeze a little bit and don't use it.
35:34
SPEAKER_02: But like for instance, I just was working for an NBA team for a year doing marketing.
35:38
SPEAKER_02: And now that I'm back like full-time freelance, I've taken a digital marketing course that I like bought a long time ago and didn't finish.
35:45
SPEAKER_02: Because if you're doing digital marketing, you have to update like what your skill set, what your knowledge and your skill set all the time.
35:51
SPEAKER_02: And I already read a marketing book and I've started back into a copywriting book.
35:55
SPEAKER_02: So it's like these things I love to like feed my need for knowledge and to update my skills.
36:01
SPEAKER_02: And because of that, I'm valuable to the people who refer me.
36:05
SPEAKER_02: So again, it's like even if they're referring more or talking about me more in other rooms, they don't need me to talk about them as much as I need them to talk about me, right?
36:14
SPEAKER_02: So what I do is I do my job super well and I make them look good.
36:19
SPEAKER_02: Like that's the value I'm also bringing on the other end, right?
36:23
SPEAKER_02: Is that because I can't connect with as many people, I need to make sure that I'm making a big impression on people, which you know, Elaine, that that's like a big thing for me and how I get work.
36:33
SPEAKER_02: Like based on being your on your podcast.
36:35
SPEAKER_02: And I've been one off on other people's podcasts, and people have found me and messaged me or booked a call because they're like, I heard you on so-and-so's podcast, right?
36:43
SPEAKER_02: Like the impact that we need to make in the like smaller amount of situations we get to make it is big.
36:51
SPEAKER_02: And like we're totally built for it because we've spent all this time.
36:55
SPEAKER_02: We're not jumping into a situation without without having a fuck ton of information.
36:59
SPEAKER_02: We introverts are not doing that.
37:01
SPEAKER_02: Like, I guarantee you, you know enough to go sell your skills right now.
37:04
SPEAKER_02: You know enough.
37:05
SPEAKER_02: I don't even have to meet you, and I know you know enough.
37:07
SPEAKER_02: You probably know too much, like at this point.
37:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh my God, I you're bringing so much clarity into my own relationship.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: Right?
37:14
SPEAKER_01: No, like he does so much.
37:16
SPEAKER_01: I mean, he has the he's an accountant, he has a CPA, and they have to like constantly update their skills.
37:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:22
SPEAKER_01: He gets really obsessed, like learning.
37:24
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
37:25
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
37:26
SPEAKER_02: I've I love it.
37:27
SPEAKER_02: I would just learn all the time if I could.
37:28
SPEAKER_02: Like I have 15 years' experience marketing and copywriting, and sometimes I'm like, oh, like I love learning, but I'm like, oh my God, like, do I have enough knowledge for this?
37:37
SPEAKER_02: And then I'm like, oh my gosh, like you have plenty of knowledge for this.
37:41
SPEAKER_02: You just need to like, you know, go out there and apply something.
37:43
SPEAKER_01: And in terms of advocating for themselves, Monica, like a month ago, was like, you know, I think you should have me as a segment in your podcast.
37:55
SPEAKER_02: Every month.
37:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I think I should be a monthly podcast.
37:59
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, fine, Monica.
38:01
SPEAKER_01: But it, I mean, it works out not just because Monica is like my marketing strategist, but I'm being straight up honest.
38:06
SPEAKER_01: Monica's also a client, so I know they could give their perspective.
38:10
SPEAKER_02: So Laire, again, mutually beneficial.
38:12
SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, I'm not like you should get me on my podcast.
38:17
SPEAKER_02: Go ahead, Monica.
38:18
SPEAKER_02: But then it goes back to that skill thing, right?
38:20
SPEAKER_02: Like I would say, maybe I'm wrong, that you're excited to bring me into your stuff because you know I'm really good at what I do.
38:26
SPEAKER_02: Like you wouldn't hire me if I wasn't good at what I do, and you wouldn't trust me to do marketing hot seats or come to retreats to teach your clients if I wasn't good at what I do.
38:37
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
38:37
SPEAKER_02: So it's like the value.
38:39
SPEAKER_01: That's self-promotion recording.
38:42
SPEAKER_02: Clearly, I have no qualms with that at all anymore in my life.
38:45
SPEAKER_02: But it's like, but it's true.
38:47
SPEAKER_02: Like, that's the value I'm bringing, is that it brings value to your clients, which brings value to you as well.
38:51
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's like thinking about it in these like not so linear ways, like thinking about how the like ecosystem works, how the web is weaved, because nothing about life is linear, really, except for like a road that we paved that we drive our cars on.
39:08
SPEAKER_02: Those aren't even linear sometimes.
39:10
SPEAKER_01: So, what is one tip that you would give as we end this podcast episode?
39:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
39:18
SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna go back to self-promotion because I think this is like if you aren't willing to tell people what you do, none of this other stuff matters, right?
39:27
SPEAKER_02: So this is like the big one.
39:28
SPEAKER_02: And I think a big tip is creating I think elevator pitch seems overwhelming to people.
39:35
SPEAKER_02: Also, it's very abstract.
39:37
SPEAKER_02: Yes, it's less than like 60 seconds, but a lot of times we're not even in an elevator for that long.
39:41
SPEAKER_02: So I don't even know if that even works anymore.
39:43
SPEAKER_02: I digress.
39:45
SPEAKER_02: So, like, if I think a tip for me is like come up with one line that explains what you do and who you do it for.
39:52
SPEAKER_00: How long is the one line?
39:53
SPEAKER_00: Because the one line could be two minutes, so like a minute.
39:55
SPEAKER_00: I mean, yeah.
39:57
SPEAKER_02: Not even less, like one line or maybe two lines max that is like less than 30 seconds.
40:02
SPEAKER_02: Like, because you're not gonna want to talk a long time anyway.
40:04
SPEAKER_02: You're already like self-promoting is challenging.
40:07
SPEAKER_02: So let's keep it short and sweet.
40:09
SPEAKER_02: But I think it has to be very clear.
40:11
SPEAKER_02: So I think, like, you know, write a few drafts of something like, you know, I do this for these types of clients.
40:16
SPEAKER_02: Like, that's what I do.
40:17
SPEAKER_02: And being super transparent, being super direct about it, and like not worrying about, you know, if it explains it, because I know we're information people.
40:26
SPEAKER_02: We're even when, even though we're like sometimes people a few words, we have many words.
40:32
SPEAKER_02: We have many words when it comes to wanting to ex, you know, really like give an explanation of who we are and the depth that we have as people.
40:39
SPEAKER_02: So I think it's like that can be a really big like boost is just being like, this is what I do, this is who I do it for, and this is how I do it.
40:47
SPEAKER_02: Boom.
40:47
SPEAKER_02: And that way you can practice that sentence.
40:49
SPEAKER_02: It's not this big long thing that you get nervous about messing up in the moment or whatever.
40:54
SPEAKER_02: It's just like one and a half to two sentences, and it's just like, cool.
40:58
SPEAKER_02: At least people know what I do at the short, very bare minimum.
41:02
SPEAKER_02: Short and sweet.
41:03
SPEAKER_01: And obviously, everybody has fallen in love with you.
41:07
SPEAKER_01: So, how can people find you?
41:09
SPEAKER_01: I love y'all too.
41:10
SPEAKER_02: You can find me on my website, which I just updated, which is very exciting.
41:16
SPEAKER_02: It is monicashrock.com.
41:18
SPEAKER_02: You can also find me on Instagram at money shrock, which I'm sure will be in the show notes.
41:23
SPEAKER_02: So I think it's gonna be down there.
41:25
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, I'm on LinkedIn too, if you want to connect with me there.
41:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:29
SPEAKER_01: And since this is a mutually beneficial podcast episode, if you want to work with both me and Monica, so Monica comes in, does marketing mental health sessions.
41:40
SPEAKER_01: Monica is not a therapist or certified mental therapist.
41:44
SPEAKER_01: Monica just holds space.
41:45
SPEAKER_01: And then I do business strategy and career strategy.
41:47
SPEAKER_01: So we have my mastermind, if you want to be a part of Monica.
41:51
SPEAKER_01: What friend promotion do you want to provide for people interested in working with me?
41:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:56
SPEAKER_02: And I think it's fun the mental health like part of the, because I we talk about what things we struggle with, like with mental health-wise and how that impedes on our marketing.
42:04
SPEAKER_02: Because that's a huge thing.
42:05
SPEAKER_02: So I think that's just like, you know, put that in a like tiny little neat little box.
42:09
SPEAKER_02: But as far as friend promotion, you know, I think fellow introverts out there listening, I've I've never not said this about you, Elaine, when I talk about hiring you, is that you never like push me or try to force me to do things that are out of my comfort zone as the person I am.
42:27
SPEAKER_02: Like, we obviously have to get a little uncomfortable and like do things.
42:30
SPEAKER_02: But if I've been like, oh, I don't feel comfortable doing that, you're like, okay, let's pivot.
42:33
SPEAKER_02: Let's try something else.
42:34
SPEAKER_02: Like it's always like honoring who you are.
42:36
SPEAKER_02: So I think that's always what I've loved about you as a coach.
42:39
SPEAKER_02: And by the way, Elaine's been my only business coach and first started working with her in 2018.
42:47
SPEAKER_02: So I think it is like you let people, you know, let people, but you really embrace people being themselves and find strategies that work really well for them.
42:55
SPEAKER_02: And I think it's like, you know, you're really transparent when you can help someone or not.
43:00
SPEAKER_02: And I think it's like if Elaine wants to work with you, then she really thinks that she can support you and grow your business with you.
43:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
43:08
SPEAKER_02: That's what I'm saying.
43:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, someone wanted to work with me instead they went with you.
43:12
SPEAKER_01: Like it's a win-win situation.
43:14
SPEAKER_02: The win-win.
43:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:15
SPEAKER_02: So you're gonna feel supported and you're gonna grow if you trust Elaine to like guide you, I would say.
43:22
SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Monica.
43:23
SPEAKER_01: I you know, I probably just do these like monthly podcast episodes with Monica for someone ego booster, you know.
43:28
SPEAKER_01: Just for that?
43:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
43:30
SPEAKER_01: Just for the end part.
43:30
SPEAKER_01: Just for the end part.
43:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
43:32
SPEAKER_01: But if you want to schedule a call with me to see if it's a good fit, you can go to ElaineLew.com forward slash call.
43:38
SPEAKER_01: Also, side note, I'm gonna do some coaching for my extroverts, introverts, fellow humans.
43:42
SPEAKER_01: If you notice, Monica and I were talking about how we could support you.
43:47
SPEAKER_01: So if promote you didn't feel like it this was nasty and like just salesy and sticky, like you could do it too.
43:55
SPEAKER_01: It's just an invitation for people.
43:57
SPEAKER_02: You're not forcing anyone to do anything.
43:59
SPEAKER_01: You also say no.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: Like you don't have to do anything.
44:02
SPEAKER_01: And if someone says no, that's great.
44:04
SPEAKER_01: They're being transparent with you.
44:06
SPEAKER_01: Monica, thanks for your time.
44:09
SPEAKER_01: So you got some tips on how to survive networking in a way that feels good for you, whether you're an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, or just human in general.
44:22
SPEAKER_01: And if you found this episode helpful, here are four things you can do if you feel called to do them.
44:30
SPEAKER_01: One, share this with a friend.
44:32
SPEAKER_01: Send them a personal message on how this episode can help them to network in a way that feels aligned to them.
44:39
SPEAKER_01: Two, don't forget to hit that follow and subscribe button.
44:43
SPEAKER_01: When you hit that button, it lets the inner webs know how important this podcast is to women of color and allies like you.
44:52
SPEAKER_01: Third, if you feel called to do so, leave a five-star rating and review for the Color Your Dreams podcast so more women of color and allies can create a sustainable life outside of their work.
45:07
SPEAKER_01: I created the Color Your Dreams podcast as a free resource for fellow women of color because contribution is one of my top values.
45:16
SPEAKER_01: And fourth, if you would like to see how it looks like to work with both me and Monica to create a more sustainable career and life that is aligned to your definition of success and no one else's, then schedule a complimentary legacy business and career review call at ElaineLou.com forward slash calling it.