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Karen Zamora - Harmony Farm · Look Who's Talking

0:06
You are listening to Look Who's Talking. I am
0:24
Cameron Minter. I am your co -host and our fantastic
0:28
head start director, Jessica Coffie Dickerson.
0:32
If you interrupt me one more time when I'm saying
0:36
your name, there's going to be trouble. Let's
0:39
start again. And our fantastic head start director,
0:43
Jessica. Oh, my God. What? What? Sorry. I guess
0:50
we're done. JCD. Hi. I feel like my mic isn't
0:56
loud. It's probably because of you. Oh, maybe.
1:00
Oh, I hear myself now. Okay, thank you. Hey,
1:04
Jessica. Hey. How are you? I'm fine. I can't
1:08
believe you won't let me get the name out. Well,
1:11
you know how, like... You come in in between
1:15
because that's like background. Even though we
1:18
have the background music, but I was like, yeah.
1:21
Like, you know, you slide in. Yeah, yeah. We
1:24
got to work that out. Okay. We got to work that
1:26
out. Next time. We'll try it again next time.
1:28
Yeah, next time we're going to go straight through.
1:30
I mean, you know, I'm only five months in. Yeah,
1:34
I know. This is why I'm practicing. Okay. I'm
1:37
practicing to make sure you. Well, clearly I
1:39
haven't passed the test yet. Exactly. You're
1:41
not passing the test on this new last name. When
1:45
do you get used to your last name being changed?
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I would say when them bills start coming in your
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name. What? Yeah, when that Dickerson bill comes
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in, yeah, yeah. That's you. That's all you. Change
2:02
it. Speaking of, we're getting ready to vote.
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And are you prepared to vote? Because I may be
2:16
wrong, but I think. You must present your birth,
2:22
your government name to vote. Have you done all
2:25
that? I haven't changed anything yet. So I think
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I'm good. Okay. What do you mean? Make sure you're
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good. That's all I'm saying. Because I think
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they're requiring you to show proof of, you know,
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your government name, Coffie name. So if you
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haven't changed. I haven't. Yeah. Yeah. I'm still
2:51
good with that. Okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah. I want
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you to vote. And voting is important. Isn't it
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important? Voting is very important. Okay. And
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I will always be that one to get my sticker and
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show you. I voted. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't want
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you to run into any issues and be like, I can't
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show my sticker. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm on top
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of all of that. That's why. So I really haven't
3:16
changed anything because we're going on a honeymoon.
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We know that it's going to be out of the country.
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But I literally just got a new passport and my
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license like a year ago. Well, maybe two years
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ago. With Coffie. Yes. So we're like, let's go
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on the honeymoon and then you change everything
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because... I hope that works out for you and
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you don't get stuck somewhere. Everyone is saying
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it's such a process. Well, as long as I'm still
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me, Coffie, I'm good. I hope that works out for
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you and you don't get stuck in something. Why
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would I get stuck? Because you're not Coffie.
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You're not Coffie. I am on my license. And my
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birth certificate. That's all that matters. That's
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why I said I'm good. Okay. What's going on in
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the life of the Dickerson's? Just rolls off differently.
4:13
I don't know. Well, no. So I have started planning
4:20
in my head my little fall festival Halloween
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little thingy I want to do at our house. Wow.
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And then the very next day I'm going to put my
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Christmas tree up. Yeah. You know, because it's
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Halloween, then Christmas is what it is. Is he
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aware of this problem that you have? Oh, yeah.
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He's the one who put the tree up and took it
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down last time. Okay. Yeah. He knows I have a
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problem. Yeah, you do have a problem. How many
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trees? Which I really don't think it's a problem.
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It is. It is a problem. When I go in the Cracker
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Barrel now, Christmas trees and Halloween at
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the same time. Oh, really? Make it work. Make
5:02
it work. It's just coming into that season. Like
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you have summer break, which we don't get a break,
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but you have summer break. It's hot outside.
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Then you have fall, which really means allergy
5:16
season. Because I have been sneezing my wig off.
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And then it's the holiday. So allergy season,
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holidays. All in one. All in one. Let's wrap
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it up. In Kentucky weather. So it's cool in the
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morning and blazing at night. I know. Monday.
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It was chilly. Oh, yeah. Came out in my little
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short sleeve shirt. Oh, my gosh. It felt great.
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It did. It did. It felt great. And then when
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I stepped outside after I got off, I said, wow,
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I'm in a whole nother state. Yep. That's how
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I felt. That's how it is. And we're. Very much
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used to this Kentucky weather now. Are you a
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person that has allergies? I do. I take an allergy
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pill every day. Every day. Yeah. And yeah, so
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they're pretty much being good right now. But
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let me stop taking that pill immediately. See,
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I'm one that I have a prescription for them.
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I took. You're like my daughter. Yeah, I took
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one on Monday because I felt awful. But then
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I'm like, oh, when I woke up, oh, I feel good.
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I don't need another one when I really do need
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it. You have to keep it in the system. Yeah.
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Daily. Well, I'm not good at that. Do you have
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a medicine packet thing yet? You said yet. I
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said yet because it's coming. I don't have one.
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Do I need one? Absolutely. Yes, you do. Because
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at what age did I start taking more than one
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pill a day? I'm there. I take about three. And
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I said, where did this come from? And it's going
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to continue. Yes. Yeah, and we already talked
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about this, so I know the cup of water is beside
7:22
the bedside. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sleeping with the
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fan yet? Oh, I've slept with a fan since I don't
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know when. I mean, you're checking all the boxes.
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You just need to go on and embrace that. Do I
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wake up in the middle of the night to go to the
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restroom? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. You're there.
7:43
Welcome to the club, girl. That one's been like
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at least 10 years. Yeah. Very good. And you don't
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believe people when they say, oh, when you get
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older, things just change. Oh. I did not believe.
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I got one for you. What? Passing gas. Yeah. Yeah.
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Freely. What do you mean? It's around 50. Is
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this? Around 50. Is this age appropriate? Yeah,
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it is. It is because we're talking about getting
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older. Okay. And around 50 is something. You'll
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just be talking and walking. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
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I got one. Well, that didn't happen until more
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until I got married. I'm not even gonna lie.
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But you know what? You know what the cause was?
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I got my gallbladder out in January. Oh, yeah,
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yeah. And it's been death ever since. I'm like,
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oops. Where did this come from? Oh, I love these
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little conversations with you. I don't know if
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I like this one. I'm just sharing all my business.
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I know, but. It's your fault. So they'll know
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next time when they smell something that doesn't
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smell right, they'll know it was you. No. Time
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for a Coffie Break. So for this evening's Coffie Break,
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I just want to say there is power in starting
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again. You can rebuild after disappointment.
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You can learn after failure. You can rise stronger
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than before. What do you think about that? That's
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good. That's good. That's right to the point.
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You know what? I always tell people the best
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lesson is a learned lesson. Whether you feel
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like it's a failure or you didn't do something
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right, you usually learn from that and then move
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on. I was talking to my neighbor. He's got a
9:54
pickup truck, but it's one of them raised on
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high wheels. He's trying to figure out, trying
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to lift it. It's already high and all of this.
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And so, you know, he put it on and it didn't
10:08
work. And I said, hey, you're not failing. You're
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learning. You're learning. You know, so as long
10:14
as we never quit. Yeah. I think that's a common
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message that will withstand the test of time.
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Do not quit. Yeah. I think that's important to
10:28
learn. Learn from it. Yeah. Some of the best.
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Lessons are learned through loss or failure.
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Absolutely. Absolutely. I think that builds you.
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It does. When everything's going good. There's
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a book, a very famous book. Scholarly. That says,
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in my weakness, he will make us stronger. Come
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on, I knew you was going to go there today. And
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think about, you know, sometimes in those weak
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moments or in those moments that we just like,
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oh, I didn't do it right or whatever, you end
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up being stronger from those moments. That's
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right. So don't let the terror scare you. Okay.
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Okay, okay, okay, okay. Let's get right. Who
11:22
are you today? What is the day's show talking
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about? Okay, so I'm excited about today's show
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because we are speaking with Karen Zamora. I
11:35
just didn't want to mess up her last name. That's
11:36
right. Who is a licensed clinical social worker,
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but she is the founder of Harmony Farms. How
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about that? Welcome to the show. So I really
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want to just get to the point. Do you have horses?
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Yes, we have horses. Can I come? Absolutely,
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you can come. Tell us a little bit about yourself
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and the inception of Harmony Farms. Sure, sure.
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So like you said, I'm a licensed clinical social
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worker and I'm a CCAT. So what is that for our
12:17
abbreviation? That's a certified clinical adventure
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therapist. Oh, wow. I think I will be a good
12:29
outdoor therapy. I don't know why I just got
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this country accent all of a sudden. But yeah,
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so I've been doing therapy for about since. 2010.
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And so I worked at comp care for about two years
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and appreciated that experience, but always knew
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I wanted to do psychotherapy, incorporating horses.
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Since you asked if I was using horses and, and,
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and we just started this practice and it's just
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grown and grown. Thus the farm. Because I was
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like, why farm? Yeah, we've got chickens, we've
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got horses, we've got therapy dogs, we've got
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cats, we've got a peacock. So lots of fun things.
13:16
And then we have a walking labyrinth and we have
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a sensory garden for the five senses. Of course,
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we have a outdoor, it's called a low ropes challenge
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course, which is just basically a big playground
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for children and their folks. To go and learn.
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For their folks, that means adult. Because I
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was going to ask, is there a weight limit? No,
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there's no weight limit. So, yeah, greenhouse.
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So how did you get into the adventure part of
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things? I like that. I know. I want adventure
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in my title. Somebody let somebody know I want
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adventure added to. Media adventure. Producer.
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Producer, okay. There you go. That sounds nice.
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That sounds nice. Oh, look at that. Maybe we
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can go to her farm and that be our first broadcast.
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Don't talk about it. Be about it. Adventure broadcast.
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Well, we do corporate events and stuff like that.
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Like if you want team building and that kind
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of thing. So with the horses or outdoors or whatever
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you want to do. So when kiddos come, like are
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they referred or how does this come about? Many
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times. It's just by word of mouth. Oh, wow. Yeah,
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just word of mouth. Anybody can call. And now
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we do have a pre -screener because it is at my
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home. So my husband and I live there. And so
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we don't do active psychosis, domestic violence,
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active domestic violence, or substance abuse
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because I don't want that in my home. Right.
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But we will refer. Elsewhere, but we do a lot
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of trauma. Trauma is something that we work with
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a lot, especially with the foster kids. And that's
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where I kind of have a passion for that. So this
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is not just, I don't want to say it this way,
15:13
but it's not just play. We're working on some
15:16
things. Oh, we're working on tough stuff. Yeah,
15:18
we're working on tough stuff. But we only see
15:21
children and adolescents and their families or
15:24
caregivers. So, yeah, so that's our specialty.
15:30
Okay. You are listening to Look Who's Talking.
15:34
We are talking with Karen. I'm not even going
15:36
to attempt the last name. Zamora. And we'll be
15:39
back more after the break. This past year has
16:03
highlighted the strength of Community Action
16:06
Council. Every day, our staff works together
16:08
to help families recover from this crisis. We're
16:12
educating children at home and in person. person,
16:14
helping parents who lost their jobs, and helping
16:17
households avoid eviction. Our work at Community
16:19
Action Council has never been more important
16:22
than it is right now. So why not join us? We
16:25
have employment opportunities requiring a range
16:27
of skills from entry level to advanced. Apply
16:30
online at commaction .org. You are listening
17:03
to Look Who's Talking and we are talking with
17:06
Karen Zamora. Look at that. See, I can say it
17:10
was beautiful. That was beautiful. See how proud
17:12
I am? Yes, yes, yes. And we're talking about
17:16
the Harmony Farms. But that is just one aspect
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of the things you do. Is that correct? So that's
17:25
like where I work. And then there's several different
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creative approaches that we use. That's your
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umbrella. Yeah, that's the umbrella. And so we
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do... We do lots of different modalities like
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trauma -focused cognitive behavior therapy. We
17:42
do the traditional cognitive behavior therapy,
17:45
behavior modification, and parent -child interaction
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therapy. So can you tell us a little bit more
17:53
about what is parent -child interaction therapy?
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Yes, absolutely. And this would be perfect for
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y 'all's audience. Because it's for children
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that are ages two and a half to six and a half
18:07
years of age. And it's about building that relationship
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and adding tools to the parent's toolbox so that
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they can build that strong foundation. And then
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that's the first part. And then the second part
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is where the parent. or caregiver learns how
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to have their child listen in mind. So how to
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appropriately discipline and be predictable,
18:33
consistent and follow through each time. So when,
18:37
who is that intended for? Like, I know you said
18:41
for kiddos and guardians or parents from the
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age of two to about six, but what would bring
18:51
them to coming to get parent child? It was originally
18:56
designed for when parents or caregivers were
19:01
using physical discipline or corporal punishment.
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And so it was to help them learn different ways
19:08
to interact with their child. Now we found that,
19:12
hey, this is such a cool program. It works for
19:16
anybody. I mean, you know, they say kids don't
19:18
come with a handbook. I think this should be
19:20
a handbook. And I did want to say kind of tying
19:26
on to what you all were saying earlier before
19:28
I came on, you know, we're talking about making
19:32
mistakes and learning from failures and things
19:34
like that. And parents, you know, we or caregivers,
19:38
we like judge ourselves pretty hard. Right. Like
19:41
we want to be good enough and we want to be the
19:45
perfect parent. And so, I mean, it's really important
19:48
for for. people to hear you don't have to be
19:52
the perfect parent, just good enough. Right.
19:55
Right. That's, that's very important. With this,
19:59
I did a little reading on it. You make this claim,
20:04
listen at this, how this approach, you make this
20:07
claim about five minutes. Come on, talk to me
20:10
about five minutes. Sure. So I like to compare
20:14
a child's need for attention to an empty bucket.
20:17
And so they want, attention any way they can
20:20
get it whether it's positive attention hugs and
20:23
kisses that a girl good job or negative attention
20:27
don't stop quit will you knock that off go to
20:29
your room attention is still attention any way
20:31
you look at it so what we do is we stop quit
20:36
will you knock that like that's going in my head
20:38
now yeah yeah so so attention is still attention
20:41
right and so what we recommend is that you spend
20:45
five minutes of one -on -one time with your child
20:49
doing something they want to do because there's
20:52
so much in a child's life, especially in that
20:55
age bracket that they don't have control over.
20:57
Right. And so for five minutes every day, they
21:00
have control over what they do, say and play.
21:03
And you're just following their lead and you're
21:05
playing what they're playing. And you're using
21:07
a specific skill set that the therapist will
21:09
teach you, which we can go into. and that just
21:15
fills their bucket full of positive attention
21:17
and so once you do that those negative seeking
21:22
attention behaviors such as whining crying and
21:26
things like that will start to decrease and then
21:30
those positive behaviors like sharing or listening
21:34
will start to increase that reminds me of just
21:37
you know, some of the things that we do in Head
21:39
Start because we want the children to lead the
21:42
lesson or lead the conversations. So we, you
21:46
know, try to have them lead conversations and
21:50
then we go with what the child is saying. So
21:53
I do believe that approach works. Some behaviors
21:57
we might see in the classroom, I see if I give
22:02
them a leadership responsibility, then they like
22:05
are like, oh, I have an important job and they're
22:10
focused on being the leader. Right. And the helper.
22:13
Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Redirect that attention.
22:15
Beautiful. So I'm interested in knowing, you
22:19
said you have animals. How do you incorporate
22:22
these animals? She actually brings it back around
22:26
now. Did you see that? Bringing it back. What
22:28
are the horses doing? I know. Well, how do you
22:31
incorporate this? with the parent -child interaction
22:37
therapy? We don't. Oh, okay. Sorry. That's the
22:41
other part of what she does. That's one of the
22:44
many things. But that's a good question. Actually,
22:47
that's what I really want to try to figure out.
22:49
If there was some way I could figure out how
22:51
to couple and marry the two, my two passions,
22:54
right? Wouldn't that be amazing? But PCIT is
22:58
very evidence -based and it's got a manual and
23:02
a workbook. And animals, they don't really fit
23:05
into a manual. What do we use the animals for?
23:08
So that's a narrative therapeutic approach. So
23:11
that's where the kids begin to create a story
23:15
about what they're doing. And so we externalize
23:19
the problem. The problem becomes a problem. The
23:22
child is not the problem. Right, right. makes
23:24
sense so it's like and pretty soon whatever happens
23:28
out there in the field or out in our office parallels
23:33
whatever's going on in the client's life in the
23:37
kiddo's life I've seen animals use like specifically
23:42
dogs like in court to make them feel less threatened
23:48
I guess and so animals seem to have a connection
23:56
to our, to our psyche in some fashion. Absolutely.
24:01
Absolutely. I've got many stories about where,
24:05
you know, like our therapy dog would, there was
24:09
one time, this one's pretty cool. So there was
24:13
one time, Annie, my border collie, I don't know
24:16
why I got a border collie, but my border collie,
24:19
she was blonde and white. And so she was, She
24:23
was downstairs in my office and suddenly she
24:27
wanted to go upstairs into the cupola in the
24:30
in the top. And she was insistent that she go.
24:33
And I was like, OK, she's trying to tell me something.
24:35
And so she went in and she joined a therapist
24:37
and her client. And so I asked if that was OK.
24:41
And they said, sure. And so then I just went
24:43
back downstairs. And later that therapist told
24:45
me that that Annie went to the kids backpack
24:49
and. the kid had a razor in her backpack. Oh,
24:54
wow. And she was planning on cutting and hurting
24:57
herself. And that because Annie found it, she
25:00
didn't cut. So Annie saved her life. And I was
25:04
like, I don't know how. I don't know how that
25:06
worked out. But I mean, that's, I mean, the power
25:09
of the pups, right? They're just amazing. They
25:12
just know things that we don't know sometimes.
25:14
And like when kids are feeling super anxious.
25:17
You know, Bebe, who Annie has since passed away,
25:20
but Bebe is now our new therapy dog. And she'll
25:24
just go in and sit on their lap, you know, kind
25:27
of like a weighted blanket, right? Just in live
25:30
form. And she'll just go and sit on their lap
25:32
and they just pet her. And, you know, that reduces,
25:34
that helps you calm down and regulate your emotions.
25:37
Yeah, absolutely. That's fantastic. So you have
25:41
a lot going on under this umbrella. Oh, yes.
25:47
It's all in regards to the child's psyche and
25:53
improving situations in their life. Correct.
25:57
And we want the children to feel safe. That's
26:01
the biggest, biggest. Can you tell us about pride
26:04
skills? Sure. What are pride skills? Sure. So
26:08
that goes back to the PCIT. And the pride skills
26:11
are our skills that that. improve that communication
26:17
with with the kiddos and you can use it with
26:21
you know the two to six year olds you can use
26:24
it with your husband you can use it with your
26:25
co -worker just whoever right like you can use
26:29
it all the time so p so it's an acronym and p
26:33
stands for praise and it's not just good job
26:37
that's nice it's labeled praise so it's being
26:42
very specific about what you like about the child's
26:46
behavior. So, um, like I love the way you're
26:50
sharing your eyes with me right now. See, thank
26:52
you for sitting so calmly in your seat, right?
26:55
Especially if it's a positive opposite. If the
26:57
kid really has a hard time staying in their seat
26:59
or for my husband, thank you for washing the
27:02
dishes for me. I really appreciate it. Yeah.
27:06
Are. Is for reflection. And that's just a form
27:11
of active listening. So you're reflecting back
27:15
what they're saying, either verbatim or the meaning
27:18
of what they're saying. That way they feel validated
27:21
and they feel heard. Got it. Got it. See, I just
27:25
reflected you. Yeah, there you go. She was waiting.
27:28
I was like, what? Why'd you get quiet? I wasn't.
27:31
I is for imitation. That's where you're doing
27:34
what the child is doing. So if the child is playing
27:37
with Mr. Potato Head, you're playing with Mr.
27:39
Potato Head. If he switches over and starts playing
27:43
with cars, then you're going to switch over and
27:44
play with cars. You're just following their lead.
27:47
And that's for that five minutes of special play
27:49
time every day. That way they feel like their
27:52
ideas are valued, right? D is for description.
27:56
That's where you describe a behavior description.
27:59
You're describing their behavior, just like a
28:01
sports commentator. So you just use, you are,
28:04
you are, you are sitting on the chair. You are
28:08
driving the car on the rug. You are drinking
28:11
your water, whatever it might be. That's what
28:13
they're doing. You are using nice hands. So that
28:18
would be like a label praise and a behavior description
28:20
bonus. Yeah. So then the last one is E is for
28:26
enjoyment. And so just enjoy spending time together.
28:30
Authentic enthusiasm is vital. So sometimes we
28:33
tell parents you have to fake it till you make
28:35
it, but don't fake it too much because they can
28:37
see through that. So the other, some helpful
28:40
tips. Yeah. And so whatever we pay attention
28:43
to is what the child is going to continue to
28:45
do. So your attention as a parent is like a reward.
28:50
It's like candy to a kid. And so if they start
28:53
acting out, what we're going to do is called
28:56
selective attention or an active ignore. So let's
29:01
say Cameron's acting out over there, right? And
29:03
so what I'm going to do is I'm going to turn
29:06
away like this, right? And I'm going to turn
29:09
my body away from him. I'm still going to keep
29:11
him in the corner of my eye. I don't want him
29:12
to wallop me on the side. Exactly. You and your
29:17
sound effects. And then I'm going to get busy
29:19
doing something else. So I'm going to get busy
29:22
using the pride skills on myself. I'm building
29:25
the biggest tower ever. this tower is going to
29:28
the moon and back again. And you're really enthusiastic
29:31
and you're really excited. And what do you think
29:33
Cameron's going to do? He's going to come over
29:36
there. He's going to come over there. And knock
29:39
down the tower. And he's probably going to tell
29:40
us we're doing it all wrong. Right. He's probably
29:43
going to tell us we're doing it all right. That's
29:44
not how it goes. And that's fine. And then, but
29:47
you didn't, what did you not have to do? Deal
29:49
with, deal with. Whoever Cameron is cutting up.
29:53
Or do any negative talk. Yeah, you didn't have
29:56
to do any negative talk. So that's the things
29:58
that we avoid. We avoid the negative talk. So
30:02
there's the don't skills. So we avoid commands,
30:06
criticisms, and questions. So we don't ask questions
30:09
during that special playtime, not because we're
30:14
not curious, but because if you ask a question,
30:16
that takes the lead away from the child. So as
30:19
a teacher, it's really, really hard not to ask
30:22
questions. And as a parent, it's hard not to
30:24
do that. So for that five minutes, we don't do
30:26
that. And then we avoid commands again because
30:29
it takes the lead away from the child. And we
30:32
avoid negative talk because it's critical. It's
30:35
negative. Don't do it like that. That's not how
30:37
that goes, right? That just feels icky. So we
30:40
want to focus, focus, focus on the positive.
30:42
That's fantastic. Make sure you use that. Yes,
30:45
ma 'am. Your attention is like candy to a kid.
30:52
When you ignore, it's not that you're doing nothing.
30:57
You're actually doing everything because you
31:00
just took candy away from a child. As soon as
31:04
they start acting appropriate and calm, then
31:06
you give the attention back and you give them
31:09
that piece of candy back. like that explanation
31:12
that's interesting yeah that's very interesting
31:14
so that's a lot of information how can we find
31:21
out more about what you do oh well you can always
31:26
give us a call or you can visit our website At
31:30
HarmonyFarmKY .com. Our phone number. Is that
31:35
okay for me to say? I'm like, okay. Yeah. And
31:39
our phone number is 859 -537 -9779. Very good.
31:44
Very good. Very good. We didn't even talk about
31:47
the trauma aspect of the children that you work
31:50
with, but it's just, it seems like this is a
31:54
huge umbrella. This is a huge resource. for our
31:58
families and our listening audience. So we really
32:02
appreciate you coming in. And yeah, I got questions.
32:06
I know, right? We're going to have to have her
32:08
back on the show. Yeah, we're going to have to
32:09
have you back. Oh, no, no, no. We're coming to
32:12
you. Oh, that's right. That's what you said.
32:14
I'm going to hold her feet to the fire. Oh, absolutely.
32:17
I got stuff. Can I get on the horse? No. It's
32:24
all groundwork. You can pet him then. That's
32:28
all I want. All right. All right. Thank you.
32:31
You have been listening to Look Who's Talking.