Latest / DA CREW Podcast / SC book gal and friends

Transcript

SC book gal and friends · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the sc Book gall and Friends Chat. We're
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: gonna be talking about the latest and book reviews, author interviews,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: and life. Come on in and join us. We're ready,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: are you? Hey? Everyone, it's another Tuesday night, and how
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: are you? That's good? That's good. I'm gonna say down
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: here in Charles, since this is beautiful. You guys seventy
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: five degrees. Whether it's beautiful. We had a little ring,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: so I'm not as stuffed up like I normally do.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: But your girls still got her teeth. Big ups to
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Kr Brinkston. For me, I'm good. I'm excited. It's something
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: about graduation season that gets me excited. And this year
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: I'm extra excited because my baby girl is graduating from
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: fifth grade. So that's a whole different ball grade because
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: that's sixth grade. Mentality is already there. Y'all. Pray for me,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: pray for me, but it is excitement in the air,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: and it should be here because guess what I am
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: here with another author and another book. Y'all know your
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: girl love erotica, right, poetry and books music. I love
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: it essentual. It's beautiful, but then there's always something behind it.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Always remember that and keep that in mind while we
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: talk to this author we have tonight joining us off
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: the Monica J. Mays, Come on up, girly, come on up,
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Come on up. How are you? I'm good? I'm good.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: How are you?
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I am great? So we're gonna do all the little formalities.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: But me and you were talking behind the scenes. Jump
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: into that conversation after you tell us a little bit
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: about yourself.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: Okay, my name is Monica Mays. My pen name is
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: m J.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Mays.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: I'm born and raised in Dallas.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Not a whole lot to tell. I love to write.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: I love to have a good story to tell through poetry,
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: and I am excited to start digging into this with
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: you tonight.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: So I'm gonna tell you, guys, and i'na be totally
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: honest this is. I have two books I've done today.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: One book, it's around Here, is by Angela Thomas Smith
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: and the Crew, and it is I want to say,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: it's either Gathering Lights or Shattered Dreams. That review is
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: going to be out tonight. Then I have another review
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: by author Wordsmith rain on me yo. All like I say,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: is I'm dropping that review tonight and she's gonna be
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: I have one more book before I do hurts. So
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be totally honest. You guys, we as in
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: me and you were going into this one blind. But
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: the conversation that we had before we got up here,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I'm glad because now it's making me hunger for this
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: book even more. Before we go further, tell us a
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: little bit about your book while we bring up this
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: master piece of a cover. Y'all, this cover is beautiful.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: So before we go to the book, tell us a
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: little bit about this cover. Let's start with the cover first.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Tell us a little bit about this.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: So the inspiration behind the cover was simply depicting a
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: relationship when it reaches a point where you just can't
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: seem to connect. You know, one's hot, one's cold, and it.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Just kind of ebb and flows.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: But one thing is you have that desire to connect,
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: to reconnect, to find something, if not within that person,
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: but to find something that ignites your passion and your
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: heart that really creates that burning in that forever desire
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: in your soul, which is what that heart symbolizes. So
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: that picture kind of depicts the journey of what we
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: go through in a relationship. In our relationships, even the
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: good ones. There is still times where we feel disconnected
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: when we're trying to connect. One of us is on,
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: one of us is off, and we're still trying to
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: make that effort, and in doing so, we sometimes tend
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: to counsel each other out, mainly because of communication styles
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: and us not actually hearing what the other person is saying,
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: because of how it's being presented.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Who y'all, she is front of my front door. She's
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: about to open up the door because I just had
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: a conversation with somebody on the phone about this. Me
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: and my daughter are going at it next. People are
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: not understanding. It is not the worst that you say.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: It is the way that you present. Let me find out.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: You've got some cameras in my house, let me find.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: Out to hang around and there just don't want to
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: because this is the conversation I made.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I may mm hmm. Yeah, I said it. I'm gonna
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: be the first one. Yeah, somebody and my daughter, and
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: especially because she's coming of age, she's eleven, and y'all
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: know girls are who is Jesus? I told my son,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: thank God you came first because your sister's attitude. This
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: instant birth control, this what you're saying, is so true.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: A lot of couples and even where I work, I
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: hear couples going at each other and it's like, do
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: you not hear what you're saying? But then I have
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: to realize this delivery? So what meane you wanted to
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: attack this subject or white poetry about this?
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: A lot of it just comes from again, conversations, a
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: lot of conversations that you have with your girlfriends. Sometimes
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: it's sparked from things that I see on TV. You
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: see everybody goes through the same phases of life, especially
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: when it comes from relationships. One of the things that
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I have found is that men have a really hard
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: time speaking to their partner and being vulnerable enough to
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: say this is what I need when it comes to
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: the bedroom. Sometimes women, especially of a certain age, because
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: of how we were raised, we don't talk like that.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: We were not raised to speak like that. You know,
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: your church going woman, we don't do this. We don't
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: do that. You know, grab your pearls, put your church
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: hat on, flip that brim down, like those are not
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: conversations that we have. But because we're not having the conversations,
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: the relationship goes without the relationship tends to stuffer. Then
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: you have the conversations with people you're not supposed to
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: have the conversations with, and old dude, it's like, oh,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: this is my chance to get in there. So he
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: starts becoming everything that you desire because you're more comfortable
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: having basic, free flowing conversation with him than you are
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: actually sitting down with your mate and being transparent and
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: saying this is what I need.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Especially when you're wanting.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: To be experimental in the bedroom. That's like an ultimate
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: no no. But guess what he may want to as well,
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: but your energy has not told him that it's okay
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: for him to approach that subject. You know this, this
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: is what we do, This is all we do. Or
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: maybe I'm needing something from you as far as when
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling vulnerable, but you got me on this theme
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: where I'm a man and I'm supposed to be a
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: man all the time and I'm not supposed to ever feel.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Like I'm lost, like.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: I'm I want to communicate, but I don't have the words,
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: but I kind of want to show you. You know,
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: he doesn't feel like he can do that. How do
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: you create a safe space for him? To be completely
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: vulnerable with you in all aspects. In all aspects, we
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: tell you can be vulnerable. Yes, we'll pray for you.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: We'll tell you that. But does he really.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Feel comfortable coming to you being vulnerable enough, but then
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: you to fall down on your knees with him in prayer?
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: He does not. How do we create that? So this
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: book came from all different sides of a relationship. We
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: have to really make room. We say a lot of catchphrases,
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: but we don't have no action behind it. We don't,
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: so how do we do it? Everybody is talking go
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: to therapy, but once you leave, you got to put those.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Things into action. You just can't go I can do that.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: It's repetition. It's repetition.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: And then there are a lot of times it's I
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: have to step back so that I can see him.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I can honor his feelings, I can validate his feelings.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: He can honor my feelings, he can validate my feelings.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: It doesn't mean that anybody is right or wrong, but
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: everybody likes to be right all the time. Everybody's in
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: this self serving environment. But when you're so busy being
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: self serving, you forget how to serve, and that includes
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: your mate, that includes your friends. You forget how to
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: be of service, So this book brings it all back
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: full circle, and it brings you back to the foundation
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: of who you're actually supposed to be in service too
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: in order to open up those gifts. So when you
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: can serve him, you can serve them. But until you
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: start serving him so you can serve them, you're gonna
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: run around looking for something to plug up to so
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: that you can feel more of this, so you can
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: have more of that, so you can become more of that.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: But all of that is contingent upon whoever you plug into.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: This book tells you you plug up to nobody, not
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: a physical person here, but you gotta find all of
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: that and know that you are the complete package. So
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: when you show up, he doesn't complete you. He has
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: an addition to It's just like putting on a pair
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: of ear rings. He makes me look even better. This
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: book's bring it full a circle, so don't just read
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: it and take it for what it is.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: These are conversations. You done hits soon, and I'm speaking
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: in my gaichi. You done hit too many? Yay lood.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: The mind is just all over I don't even know
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: where to stop, because it's like you hitting so many man,
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: you at my do you want a meal? Because you
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: already walked in my front door, you already turned my
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: TV off. You sitting next to me at the kitchen teeth,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: what do you want to eat? Because you have set
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: a table with so much information, so much thing that
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: has opened up my eyes and we have only been
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: on hire for tes. How, Lord Jesus, where do we go?
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: How does how does your poetry? Does it? Does it?
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: Oh God, does it just open your eyes? Or does
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: it give you solutions? And how you should talk, how
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: you should communicate, how you should watch your tone, how
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: you should present yourself to him, how you should even
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: and vice versus. Well, we'll leave that question because that's
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: a great question. But how does your poetry help bring
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: this blue hand, this ice, and this fire together?
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: So it starts the conversation. It starts because that's the
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: first problem before we can talk about how do I
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: talk to you?
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: We gotta talk first.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: We gotta want to have the conversation. And a lot
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: of times we look at each other and we're having
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: a conversation, but it's totally being missed on the other side.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Because you're one to talk to him.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: But how do you start it where it's gonna be received,
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Because again we have to accept the fact that they're
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: wired differently. And as soon as you start with I
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: feel that garage door comes down.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: They can't process that.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: Everything has to be fact, you know, in looking at
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: our relationship, I was reading this and what I've found.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: And you pull something out and you make it a conversation.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: That's something that he can begin to engage you with
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: because it takes away you talking about how you feel,
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: and it takes him away from getting ready to become defensive.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: So it removes that so that you can talk and
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: now he's ready to hear you in having the conversation. Remember,
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: you don't handle people. That is a phrase that I
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: have never liked. You take care of people with your words.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: The same courtesies and considerations and kindness that you need.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: They need that too. So how you want how do
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: you want that information to land? So for a lot
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: of people, they start with you know, I was reading
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: this and it made me think about us. So there's
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: a poem that talks about the first time, and I
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: thought about the first time we met, and all the
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: feels I had from that point all the way up
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: until like the day we got married, and I'm just wondering,
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: how do we get back there? His response is going
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: to be where are we? Here's the conversation, and we
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: keep going from there. Now, the second book is going
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: to give you more of a foundation. But first I
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: got to give you something to stand on. I just
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: can't take the top of the table and put it
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: on anything. It just it won't work. So first I
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: wanna give you your legs, and I wanna give you
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: somewhere to start. Then I'm gonna give you the tabletop.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: And the third book was gonna give you the chairs.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: It's gonna give you the tablecloth and the napkins and
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: everything you need so that you can forever eat. And
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: keep in mind that how you communicate today is not
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: how you gonna communicate in five years, and it should
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: not be it because you're growing, he's growing, and now
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: that you have this communication style, sometimes you do have
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: to change it up because what landed when he was
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: in his twenties don't hit when he's in his thirties.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: You gonna miss it when he's in his forys. You
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: have to pay attention and see how do I need
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: to alter how I present information so that I'm actually
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: getting what I need from him and in return, I'm
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: able to give him what he needs.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: So hit me again. So now you got to fix
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: your breakfast in the morning. You might have to come
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: to your house and cook breakfast or door dash uber
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: because I've done and I was under you would say
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: the I feels, And you're totally right, because when we
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: have the conversation of the I feel, the other person
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: does jump on the defensive man look at you.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: They can't process that, and that's that's fine. Give facts,
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: but don't give facts in an accusatory tone. It is
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: I remember when I wish we could have that back,
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: but better, how do we get there? Now he's ready
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: to talk because they want to solve something. Now you've
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: given him something to solve versus the accusatory versus the
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: I feel. He can't process any of that. All of
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: that means I need to get ready to defend because
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: she's not happy about something. Let me get in, get
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: out I don't know, let me play like I'm sleep,
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Let me do something to get out of the way
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: of whatever this is. Because I just can't seem to
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: do anything right. We gotta present whatever it is that
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: may be bothering us like a puzzle for him to solve.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: Let him get into it, and as he's figuring it out,
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: we're helping you. So think jigsaw. I put all the
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: pieces on the table. You don't have to put this
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: together by yourself. We're going to do this together, and
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: sometimes it helps. It sounds crazy, but sometimes it helps.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: To go get one of those jigsaw puzzles out of
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: the dollar tree or something and.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: You put the pieces together.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: So you know, I just want to have some I
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: don't know, some just wow crazy And it sounds wild
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: and crazy to me because it's something that little kids
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: would do.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: But let's just sit down. There's no TV. Maybe you
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: got a little glass.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: Of wine and you got that music playing from back
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: in the day when y'all first met, and you start
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: the conversation.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: You remember when we went out and played that song.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: I remember, And now you all are distracted, And for
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: as much as you're putting this puzzle together, you're actually
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: having that level of communication. And he's solving two things
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: at one time, you're gonna get the best conversation.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: You're gonna walk.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Away with a resolve, and then you're gonna know what
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: to do next because now he's hurt you.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: How did you come up with this? I knew what
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: you said. This book was a conversations that you have
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: with your girlfriends. But what made you want to compile
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: all this conversations into this book of poetry that apparently
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: almost need to get a copy of because God, oh,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: I forget, I don't mind to see. It was like.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: This, Really, it's the conversations that we're already having, but
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: we're having them with the wrong person. So that's why
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: I compolled it because I'm sitting here and I'm like,
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: we're having a conversation. I've been guilty of it. I've
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: had the conversations with the girlfriends where we're sitting here
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: and we're talking. We can't solve the problem that we're
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: talking about, but it's just good to have everybody together
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: had the same problem.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: And we're sitting here.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: And it was like five of us on the phone
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: and we're just cryinging. I just want to be loved. Like,
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: we've had the conversations, but how conversation when you're in
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: that relationship. We didn't feel comfortable enough because we didn't
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: know how to have the conversation. But if we knew
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: how to have the conversation, if we had the tools
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: to have the conversation, then a lot of us would
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: be in longer relationship, healthier relationships, and we wouldn't have
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: these open relationships where you're opening the door for somebody
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: to come in and start to be those things that
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: she's not being, be those things that he's not being.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: You know, he opened the door for her because she's
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: more adventurous.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: You never even open the door to the idea.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: Therefore, he's afraid to talk about some of the more
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: intimate stuff that he may want to try.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: Is that on him or is that on you?
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: Have you made him feel like he can't be open
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: enough to come to his wife, his woman and say
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: I would like to try this, and if you don't
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: like it, that's fine. But a lot of men don't
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: feel comfortable. They just kind of go with go with
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: the flow, and then what happens is, you know, you
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: got Vicky with the good hair.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: She's all about it.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: She's down for a good back blowout any day of
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: a week. You know, she's okay to hang from the
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: shower curtain, Rod, he really wants that to be you.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: But it's comfortable enough to come to you and say,
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: grab hold this, poul baby, let's do something real quick. No,
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: he's not because our first response, especially depending on the
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: age group, you'd be like, oh what wait a minute, that.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Boy, you better go on and there, sit down somewhere.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: You know, we ain't gonna do all.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: That better first, forget it right right, we were gonna say,
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: up my leg, don't go back there like that. You
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: can't hold my arm like that for too long. All
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: of these things, and all of these things have solutions,
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: but it starts with the conversation and when you when
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: you have the conversation, as you're talking, you can find
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: that next level of intimacy because after you've been with
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: somebody for a while, again everything just like for you yourself
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: as an individual, there are different layers to us. As
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: we get older and we're in that relationship for a
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: little while, we have to start peeling back some different
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: layers and start doing some different things because by then
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: we've been together fifteen twenty years, we gotta do something different.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Like we already know we're going in at nine, we're
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: gonna be through by nine to fifteen. You have to
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: figure out something to keep that spark going.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: You gotta figure out something and doing this.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: I did a clothing line and one of my models
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: came to me after she read one of the poems
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: before I put it in a book, and she said,
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: you know, we had lost that spark. But I read
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: this and I talked to you, and I went back
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: and did everything that you said. She said, let me
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: just tell you this, from the time we hit that
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: door after this show, clothes were flying. I said, that's enough.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: I don't want to hear the more. Glad you got
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: your mojo back. Glad I can help you. Girl, I'm good,
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: She said, just no. It was a different level because
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: we had conversation, and we had conversation after the fact,
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: and it wasn't like analytical to see like do you
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: like this?
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: Did you like that?
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: It was it was a loving conversation and it was
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: easy for him to say to her, this is what
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: I like. And then she was able to say, and
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: I adore this about you. So then he got that,
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: and then she gave him a little bit more. So
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: she's talking one language, he's talking another. But the way
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: she's speaking to him, is making him more comfortable to
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: keep speaking to her. It's a and it was a
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: different level for them, and they have just been going
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: strong ever since. So from that, I was like, maybe
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: I do need to put this in a book. Oh wow, okay,
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: let's do it.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Okay. She answered that question, So, what have you ever
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: heard of any men who've read your book? And have
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: you heard of any reaction from them?
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Oh? Yes, oh, absolutely absolutely, because it is written from
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: both sides. You know, some of them are written from
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: a man's perspective, some of them are written from a
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: woman's perspective.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Some has written just kind of, you know, outside looking in.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Some of them is just an internal perspective from the men.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: It was a whole conversation.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: They was like, Okay, first of all, the fact that
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: you're able to write that from a man's perspective, Okay,
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: we need to have a different conversation around that, because
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: there that you said was everything that me and my
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: boys be saying. So I'm trying to figure out how
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: you even got that.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, I just had to tap into my dude.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Just had to tap into my dude. I was able
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: to figure it out. I was able to figure it out.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: It was really lightening for them.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: They were like, yeah, yeah, see, if you talk to
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: me like this, I can get it. Like I can
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: meet you where you are, I can understand everything that
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: you're saying.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: And this was different.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: But everything that you were seeing, even from a woman's perspective,
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: if she left this poem for me, I would get
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: it and she wouldn't have to say it. I'd be like, Okay, babe,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: I got it, you know, I said, Okay, good, good,
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: he said, But I'm just tripping on the fact that
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: you're not even wired that way, but you're able to
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: communicate what we need emotionally for us to feel safe.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: And some of the pieces that they read is actually
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: in the second book, and they're like, this is because
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: I am vulnerable.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Hold up, look did you say second book? Yeah?
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: There is this book too that will be coming out soon,
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: and that's going to be a little bit more balanced,
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: with a little bit more of the man coming out,
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: because it also needs to be a place where they
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: can say, I can't say these words because I'm not
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: yet comfortable, but baby, here, read this page thirty seven.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: Read this right, That's what I'm trying to tell you
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: that right there, let's talk about it when I get home,
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: you know, And there's a way where he can take
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: in it where it's her. It sounds like, oh, because
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: that's how we are, we all in love, But he's
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: saying something else beyond what you're reading. Again, it gives
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: you the foundation to start having a conversation, and that's
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: all he's looking for. He's just looking to soften the
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: approach so that when he does talk to you about it,
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: you know where he's coming from and you don't come
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: off with your feelings or you're being defensive, because he
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: is wanting to make a request to you in making
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: him comfortable enough to ask you for something, to do
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: something or to say something, or maybe to be something,
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: or maybe to create a space for him that's never
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: been created before. And he doesn't want it from anybody else,
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: but he sees that if he doesn't get it here,
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: she's ready and right now I'm talking to her. She's
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: a listening ear. You don't want the listening ears.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, dang, you got me speechless because you not walk
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: in my house, open up the back door, let the
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: dog in the house. Somebody cat trying to never take
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: care of and you have everybody sitting at the table,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, she done hit all all of it. Okay,
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: you guys, you see the book if you look at
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: the bottom of screen, that's the link. I yeah, lord, girl,
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: you got me thinking. Oh my god, you got me thinking.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: And I understand you, guys. It is a book that
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: is a erotic poetry. But if you take the concepts
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: of this you can apply to everyday life, and I
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: think you make conversations it am more easier because a
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: lot of us do not know how to hold a conversation.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: You know, everybody's talking, but nobody's listening. And I'm a
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: firm believer, and I do have a problem with this
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: because sometimes I have to make it's written all over
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: my face. But I always tell my daughter, if I'm
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: talking and you talking, who's listening, right, Because I'm trying
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: to make sure you get your point across. I'm trying
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: to make sure I get my point across. You're trying
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: to make sure you're getting point across. And the points
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: are doing this, flying right past each other. So I
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: understand you, guys, erotic book. But like I said, the
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: things that she's saying, if you look past the sexual
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: part of it. This is something that you can use
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: in your deaily life. Absolutely, Miss Mays. There's some part
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: of South Carolina book, y'all checks now. I don't think
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: you know much about, but I'm ready. It is called
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: the fun question. So we're gonna bring you back to
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: the couch. Who coming back to the couch? Okay? Oh,
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I have lifetime on the line. They love your book,
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: but they want you to choose one poem out of
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: your book. Okay, what poem would that be? And why?
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: So the question would be am I choosing my favorite
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: poem out of the book? Or am I just choosing
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: a poem out of the book.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: Let's go with your favorite poem out the book.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: Oh gosh, my favorite poem would.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Be Phoenix Phoenix. All right, well, you know what tell
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: us why?
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Phelix Phoenix is about self discovery. It is about realizing
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: that all the things so in reading it, it is
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: towards the back of the book, it is about in
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: all those other moments prior to right now, I was
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: trying to find all this stuff in all these other people,
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: when it was really right here, like I had it.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: I am the key, I am the masterpiece. But I'm
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: sitting here feeling lost. I'm feeling like I don't have
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: this or I'm not enough of this. But I was
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: all that and then some Now it's time.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: I've been here. I've been supporting, I've been pushing, I've
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: been all these things to all these people.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: And now it's time for me to step up and
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: let the world see me, let the world hear me,
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: allow them to feel and know my presence. It's my time.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Oh God, yes, old she sounds like Mariangelo, ma Angelo. Okay,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Phoenix like times said, okay, great, we gotta find someone
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: who can speak this poetry, bring this poetry to life.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: What nineties actress would you choose to recite this poem?
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: And why shod ooh why?
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: There is a sense of purpose. There is elevation. There
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: is acknowledgement. There is acceptance, There is empowerment, There is uplifting,
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: there is encouragement. There is inspiration, all wrapped in love
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: and grace. When she speaks, oh God, excuse me, she
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: did it again.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she done got me. She got me so speechless,
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: she got me called from love Jesus. Okay, lifetimes say, okay,
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: we have the point Phoenix when we have Felicia Shad.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: We loved it. It is beautiful, but we feel that
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: she should be talking to a male. And we want
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: you to choose a male that is going to represent
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: for the brothers or the male counterpart in your book?
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: Which nineties are and be senior? Would you give that
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: title to? And why?
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's a good one. I don't know if there
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: is one in the nineties that is worthy of that type.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: So who are we going to let's take away the nineties? Fool?
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Do you feel when I.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: Think about somebody that can take your brother and understand
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: where he is and be able to encourage that brother
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: to move forward as a singer and do it in love?
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: There are a couple of people. First of all, I
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: think of people Bryson. I also think of Jeffrey m Girl,
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: Girl you about to be You played at the night
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: while I'm working, see in just reading like the poem
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: first time that was married with people?
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Bryson. I'm so into you.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: What better way, no matter if you just met her,
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: if you still married to her, if it's been a
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: long time since you've loved on her. You walk in
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: the house and he's playing that and he's looking in
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: your eyes. Oh man, he took you back to the
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: first time y'all got together. It don't matter what you
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: got on. You just got lost in everything about how
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: that man loves you. And in that moment he is
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: consuming you with every aspect, all the essence of who
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: he is and the love that he has for you.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: He's giving that to you, and how he's looking at you,
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: and how he's telling you despite and in.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: Spite of all things. Girl, I'm sorry, y'all. Hear her voice, y'all,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: hear her voice. I know you are planning to do
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: a audiobook of that. You have to. I have been
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: asking your voice. Oh my god, the way your voice
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: just did that, that's not. And I can hear you
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: speaking to poetry like literally when you did that.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: That's not.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: I saw you at somebody's wedding. What was y'all? What
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: movie was that? Tyler Perry?
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, yes, yes, I know what one you're talking about.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: I see you up here as Maya Angelo when she
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: was reading that Pointed Girl audio book. Audio book.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: Oh lord, okay.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: We got Phoenix, we got Felicia, we got Jeffrey, we
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: got people. But Lifetime says everyvery good movie, because all
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: this is gonna be put into a movie has to
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: have one soundtrack that covers it all. What song, and
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what era. Would you say, is your
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: book you music? Gosh?
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: All these are really good. Gosh, this song is the
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: soundtrack to the book.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: This is the soundtrack. So you know how we got
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: that waiting extail and it was for me that one
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: was Let it flow. That was the song for me.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: It's not a soundtrack.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: But this is what I hear, And what do you
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: hear about that question? I hear Teddy p and Stephanie
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: Miles feel the fire because something that you told me,
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: and it stay all night again. This is speaking from
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: having the desire and then wanting the desire. You wanted
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: me to love you when you said simply reach out
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: and touch me.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: You know she want me to. She want me to
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: reach out and throw this laptop across this computer over here. Girl.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: Audio book, audio book contract.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: But in hearing that.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: He covers all aspects of it because it's something that
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: you told me. Because nine times out of ten we
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: haven't told him before. He just didn't get it because
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: of how we presented it. Nine times out of ten.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: He didn't told us before. We didn't get it because
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: of how he's We didn't get it, but it was
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: sad and it stayed there because when he brings it
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: up again, we quick to respond.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: So it stayed in your hand.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, ah, not a longe feel men, And in my mind,
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: I love the remake that people did when he says,
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: I want to feel you.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, so it's official. I am These
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: are the fun questions that I give to everybody. And
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: you have snub me because I don't even know what
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: to save because I'm hearing I'm hearing audio book. Man,
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: you have to you have to put this in the audiobook.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: This is going to save some couples. This is going
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: to save some Can you tell us how we can
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: get a copy of the book where we can get
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: it from?
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: You can book on Amazon. You can actually purchase it
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: also on Love and Color. I Am an extreme. You
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: can also message me through TikTok or Instagram and you
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: can get a copy of the book directly, and that
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: if you message me through Instagram or TikTok, you will
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: received a sign copy of the book, but only if
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: you messaged me through those two ways. When you received
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: an autographed copy of the book, and I look forward
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: to sharing more of the poetry, and I just may
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: do that audio book. Oh wow, I just, I just
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: I've gotten a lot of requests to just read. Even
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: when I did like a soft opening, a soft book launch,
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: everybody was like, you really just need to read this.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: I don't want to read it now. I just I
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: just need you to read it. And how you deliver it.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, I just may have
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: to do that audio book.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: I have to do it. They are absolute wreck. Whoever
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: told you that they will correct because I'm hearing it,
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling it, and I'm thinking to myself, dang, it's
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: not have to do some rearranging the schedule on this one.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: Here what we talked about earlier, Yeah, push you to
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: the but give us the rundown on how we can
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: follow you where we can if you have a newsletter, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter,
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: We do have some of the information at the bottom,
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: but just give us the rundown. Case of those who
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: just want to who are already on their device and
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: I just want to go ahead and hit you up,
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: just give us that rundown.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, so you can follow me on TikTok under
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: MJ mays, you can follow me on the Instagram. Definitely
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: get it on the link below because it is long
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: and some people, you know, they have a hard time
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: with spelling that because just f yi, I do also
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: make lingerie to go along with the poetry. So yeah,
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: so that kind of gives you a little bit of
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: air of that because I'm gonna get you right. I'm
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: gonna get you right. If you're gonna go talk to him,
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: We're gonna set.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: Your whole night up. We're gonna set you.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: Up from beginning to end, so you always gonna win,
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: and he's gonna be He's gonna be a happy fella.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: That Instagram is going to be impenente telegate got sexy.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: It is Italian for my size is sexy.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: So please do look for me and follow me, and
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: I will definitely be popping out with some.
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: Teasers from time to time. I'm gonna let y'all know
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: right now, this beautiful little thing right here, yeah, yeah,
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: h yeah. In a little while, I've already made my
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: mind up that it's gonna happen. I'm gonna go ahead
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: and do it.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: Autograph copy of the book. Now remember now, she saying
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: she got the book and she got Manchuri. Y'all know
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: what y'all know, her name is Monica. If we see
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: a Mancha generation of kids from this podcast with the
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: middle name MG. Monica saying all child support payments to
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: her because she caused it. Okay, and I make sure
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: y'all have her social media information so she can run
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: from the state. Okay. I'm telling y'all, I'm gonna make sure.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: I'm make sure from here. I really appreciate you being
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: on me to night. Man, Thank you, Thank you. Don't
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: how much enjoy this. Thank you, thank you, thank you,
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Guys. You know, right after this, right, you
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: can catch the replay, right, I'm gonna go ahead and
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: post it. I'm gonna send it to Herbert. I'm gonna
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: go ahead and post it if I you guys, this
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: was awesome and it wasn't one of those Oh my god.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: It was soft, it was sweet, it was educational, it
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: was sexual. It just wrapped it all up. Keep it
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: to you in the pretty bowl and say, all right,
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: time for you to go present. So y'all go and present.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna see you next week. Well, I'm gonna have
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: another author and another book. Y'all. Make sure y'all join
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: me here.