Latest / The Gill Athletics Track and Field Connections Podcast / #145: Gill1918 Presents Jamar Goodwin "Developing Elite Parents" Powered by Coach O

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#145: Gill1918 Presents Jamar Goodwin "Developing Elite Parents" Powered by Coach O · The Gill Athletics Track and Field Connections Podcast

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  Welcome to the Gill 1918 Project, a podcast series by
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  coaches for coaches, powered by Gill Athletics.
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  Think of it as the Ted Talks of track and field coaching.
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  Short, insightful, and packed with valuable strategies to help
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  you grow as a coach. This episode is part of the
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  Youth and Beginner Series, brought to you by Coach O.
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  In this series, we focus on topics relating to coaching
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  youth athletes, coaching beginner athletes of any age,
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  and supporting brand new coaches as they find their way.
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  With that in mind, let's grow. I'm Jamar Goodwin, better known
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  as Coach JA. Today we're going to do a deep
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  dive into a topic that all youth coaches must learn to navigate
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  if they expect to run a successful program long term.
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  No matter the sport, no matter the experience level, if you
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  coach a child, there's a parent or guardian that comes with that
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  child. Learning how to not only coach
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  your athletes but also manage the expectations of the parents
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  and yours is a crucial aspect in today's youth sports.
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  So today our topic is entitled Developing Elite Parents and
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  Sports. Let's face it, most parents were
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  not elite athletes when they were younger, so they were never
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  taught what it means to be elite and what one must endure and
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  sacrifice to reach those heights as a young athlete.
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  Although most parents mean well, not having walked through those
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  shoes themselves means they have a disconnect from what it means
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  to be an elite athlete and what they think it means to be an
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  elite athlete. Being a psychology major from
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  the University of South Carolina, I am always analyzing
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  and studying not only my athletes, but also their parents
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  and the interactions between the two.
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  Paying attention to how the parent interacts with the child
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  during practice will give you insight on how to bring out the
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  best in your athlete and how to avoid unnecessary conflict.
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  Within the parent athlete dynamic, you will encounter many
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  personality types of parents, all with their own little
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  nuances. But today we will discuss three
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  of the most common traits you will see when coaching.
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  These three traits are the helicopter parent, the absent
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  parent, and the parent coach. As we dissect each of these
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  parental personalities, we will discuss how to recognize these
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  personalities early, how and why each one could be detrimental to
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  the culture of your team, and how to circumvent problems and
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  coexist with these parents. Equipping yourself with this
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  knowledge will save you from a season filled with unnecessary
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  conflict and issues. All three of our parental
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  personalities can cause issues with your program, or at the
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  very least add to the already stressful job of coaching and
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  running a program. Your personality as a coach will
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  determine which personality type is easier to manage and navigate
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  around. So in no specific order, our
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  first parental personality type is the helicopter parent.
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  The helicopter parent is easy to spike.
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  Everywhere their athlete goes, they go as well.
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  They rarely, if ever, leave the side of the athlete.
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  Although not to be confused with the parent coach, these are the
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  parents that see themselves as an extension of the coaching
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  staff. In their mind, they are
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  constantly hovering around their athlete, ready to protect them
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  from any adversity that may come along with participating in a
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  sport. These parents are quick to
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  coddle their athlete when they are not performing at the level
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  that they should, which creates A vicious cycle of mediocre
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  performance and at times undermining of the coaches.
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  One of the biggest issues with the helicopter parent is those
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  times when the athlete isn't performing at the expectations
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  that you as a coach know that they should be at.
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  At these times as a coach there are instances where you have to
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  chastise and let the athlete know that they are not giving
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  their all. Once the coach has spoken, the
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  athlete 9 times out of 10 runs to the parent who is usually
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  around to witness the entire ordeal, and the parent usually
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  undermines the coaching by saying something to the nature
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  of you're doing your best, the coaches being too hard on you,
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  or something of the nature that mediocre mindset individuals
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  would say. What this leads to is an athlete
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  realizing that they don't have to rise to the level that the
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  coach sees in them because their parent has ensured them that
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  they are just enough. While this may be a positive
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  mindset to have in the regular world, that is not how the world
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  of sports is set up. This ends up creating athletes
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  who never rise to their full potential because every time a
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  challenging situation arises, their parent is there to lessen
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  the blow, causing their athletes to never fully grow.
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  The parent is operating out of the notion of protecting their
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  child, but is in actuality hindering their growth as an
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  individual, causing the same type of behavior to emerge in
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  similar situations. When they become adults, the
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  helicopter parent typically doesn't let the athlete figure
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  out things for themselves. They are always there for the
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  athlete and instead of the athlete learning how to handle
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  situations or deal with adversity that comes with
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  sports, they are shielded from it only to have to face it at a
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  later time in life. So as a coach, how should one
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  deal with the helicopter parent? There are various approaches
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  that can be taken to deal with these parents, but I found that
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  the most advantageous approach is bringing in the parent and
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  ensuring them that their needs and desires for their athlete is
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  hurt. When you ensure the parent that
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  your expectations and concerns for the athlete mirrors those of
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  the parent, you will gain a level of trust with the parent
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  that will allow them to ease off a bit knowing that their child
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  is in good hands. Now this is not an overnight
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  process, but with time and persistence you can rest assured
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  that the helicopter parent won't hover as much.
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  The opposite of the helicopter parent is the absent parent.
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  Absenteeism in sports can appear in many different ways, and it's
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  important to note that just because a parent is present
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  doesn't mean that they are involved.
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  Some absent parents come to practice or competitions and
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  completely ignore everything that's going on because they are
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  using the time to be on the phone or getting work done.
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  They rarely know what's going on with the team, and the coaches
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  probably wouldn't recognize them if they seen them out in public.
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  Other absent parents pick up and drop off their athletes, and
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  that's as far as it goes. You recognize these parents not
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  by their face, but by their car. They feel that they did their
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  part by bringing their athlete to practice, and that's pretty
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  much it. By far the worst type of absent
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  parent is the one who doesn't show up at all.
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  They know their child is an athlete, but that's as far as it
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  goes. They don't go to any games, and
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  they definitely don't show up to any practices.
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  The absent parent occurs more frequently than we realize, but
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  we don't think much of it because out of sight, out of
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  mind. So why is this a problem?
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  A few reasons. Now not in every case, but this
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  can be a reflection of the home life.
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  The child may be facing some sort of neglect and that will
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  carry over in their life outside of the house.
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  These are the kids that are always seeking attention,
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  typically in the classroom and school setting.
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  Usually their behavior is poor because they are really just
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  seeking the attention that they are missing at home.
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  The same behavior carries over to athletics, but is usually
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  magnified because sports tend to give kids more social freedom
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  than the typical classroom setting.
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  When athletes display behavior congruent with those discussed,
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  it is difficult to coach them and the team.
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  They are constantly talking and distracting those around them.
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  Their reps are low quality because they typically aren't
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  paying attention enough to do the drills correctly.
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  You will typically find these athletes socializing with other
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  underperforming athletes on the team, but occasionally they
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  spread to the high level athletes causing them to be
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  distracted as well. This is when the problem can no
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  longer be ignored if not addressed earlier.
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  The best way to work with the absent parent is by getting the
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  parent involved, even if it's by a weekly update of the athlete.
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  Sometimes these parents just need to know that you want them
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  out there and they will make an effort once they've been told.
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  But for those athletes whose parents have no interest in
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  being around, the best bet is to keep those athletes close to the
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  coaches if possible. Their behavior usually boils
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  down to the fact that they want attention anyway, so when
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  applied correctly, this could be a great strategy.
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  Not only will the athletes start to feel like someone cares, they
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  will also become more engaged and take the sport serious.
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  Making this athlete a drill leader is a great way to show
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  them that they are seen and also force them to stay focused and
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  to execute properly. The key with these athletes is
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  to always remember that what they are portraying is a
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  reflection of something deeper. As a coach, we can't replace a
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  parent, but we can always show our athletes that they are seen
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  in value. Our last parent in this series
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  is the parent coach. The parent coach is always going
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  behind the coach, giving extra pointers and tips while not
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  always undermining the coach. This parent is always adding on
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  or contributing to what you or your coaching staff is trying to
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  relay. While in moderation this can be
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  beneficial, but there are levels that can be detrimental to your
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  program. The parent coach that you don't
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  want to encounter is the one who thinks they know more than the
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  coach, and it's quick to try to prove it.
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  This is the parent who will tell the athletes to do something the
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  coach didn't, or perhaps the total opposite.
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  These parents typically have their own agenda and could care
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  less about the team or the coaching.
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  A lot of times you will see them giving their athletes extra work
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  no matter what was done at practice.
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  A true coach understands that to have a successful season you
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  have to continuously look at the bigger picture and build your
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  program around that. The parent coach isn't Privy to
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  to this vision and typically does things that are detrimental
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  to that vision like over training their athlete.
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  The biggest issue that comes from having an athlete who has a
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  parent coach is when dealing with an athlete that undermines
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  the coaching because they believe what their parent tells
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  them is primary. This makes the athlete hard to
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  reach and coach because their athlete feels like their
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  parental figure is the authority and has all the answers.
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  You typically see signs of this by the athlete going to the
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  parent for something before they go to the coach, looking for the
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  parents for feedback before they look for the coach, and
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  blatantly telling the coach that their parent told them they
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  should do it this way. The obvious problem with the
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  parent coach is that they are creating a ripple in your
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  program and showing a lack of respect.
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  Many parent coaches think that they know more than the coach,
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  but one thing they can't know is the vision the coaches has for
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  the team and the athletes. When the parent coach has a
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  stronghold over their child, it is hard to effectively coach the
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  athlete, especially if it is something the athlete is doing
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  incorrectly and the parent coach is reinforcing it.
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  The parent coach personality trait appears in various
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  degrees. The lower degrees are easiest to
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  work with. Typically you can let those
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  parents know you are an authority and their athlete is
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  in good hands. Once the parent coach verifies
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  this and they are less likely to continue their coaching with
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  other parents in this category, you can let them know the game
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  play and strategy for coaching their athlete so that when they
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  do start parent coaching they are at least reinforcing what
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  you want them to teach. There is really only one or two
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  options for the parent coach that operates on a higher
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  degree. These are the parent coaches
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  that are going to do what they want regardless of what you
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  express to them. The first option is that you can
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  just let the parent deal with them, but depending on the sport
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  this is an unrealistic approach. The other option, although the
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  least desired, is you have to remove the athlete and the
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  parent from the team. Having a cancerous parent and or
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  athlete in your program can cause unnecessary strife and the
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  earlier you remove it the better.
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  As coaches, especially youth coaches, we give our all out of
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  love. With that love comes its fair
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  share of issues, many of which are parents learning how to
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  effectively and efficiently navigate through the world of
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  sports. Parents will ensure a successful
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  program for years to come. There will always be bumps in
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  the road and issues that arise, but managing the parents is just
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  as important as how you manage your team.
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  When you create a culture where the parents see your vision and
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  respect it, they will pass it to the new parents, creating a
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  standard that everyone must adhere to.
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  The key to doing this successfully is ensuring
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  everyone is on the same page and being unwavering with your team
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  score values. Hey gang, Mike Cunningham here.
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  Thanks for joining us for this episode in the Youth and
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  beginner series Powered by Coach O Powered by Coach O is more
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  than a platform. It's a movement to benefit track
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  and field by supporting coaches, athletes, parents, officials and
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  event directors in countless ways.
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  Find out more and get yourself plugged in to the Powered by
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  Coach O by visiting coacho.com today.
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  Hey.