Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Being with a narcissist can affect your physical health as well

Transcript

Being with a narcissist can affect your physical health as well · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, Beautiful people?
• 0:01
  Today we're talking about how being in a toxic relationship
• 0:05
  with narcissists and toxic people can actually affect your
• 0:08
  physical health as well. It's not just a mental health
• 0:10
  thing. Y'all can lead to physical
• 0:12
  ailments and things of that nature.
• 0:14
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:15
  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
• 0:18
  another episode of The Narcissist Code.
• 0:36
  Boom. Welcome back, Welcome back,
• 0:38
  Welcome back, beautiful folks. Yes, yes, yes.
• 0:41
  Did you know that though? So I had a Zoom call.
• 0:45
  I don't know, I do one on ones over zoom.
• 0:46
  And I'm actually about to start doing some group coaching calls
• 0:48
  as well. Maybe, I think every Sunday.
• 0:51
  Maybe. So if you're interested in that,
• 0:53
  George, join my newsletter. I'll be sending that out to my
• 0:56
  my newsletter folks and whatnot. Link is in the description of
• 0:58
  every podcast and video I do. But I had a zoom call with a
• 1:02
  woman the other day and she was just like, yeah, when I was
• 1:05
  with, when I was in the toxic relationship I had, I used to
• 1:07
  get the highs really bad, like, you know, breakouts and things
• 1:10
  like that of acne and whatnot. My hair was falling out, I was
• 1:13
  gay and my weight was fluctuating and things like
• 1:17
  that. Well, since I've been out of it,
• 1:19
  I no longer have to take medication for the, you know, my
• 1:21
  breakouts. The breakouts have actually
• 1:23
  stopped. You know, my my eating habits
• 1:25
  have normalized and whatnot. She's like, I don't know what's
• 1:27
  going on. I'm like, I do.
• 1:30
  You removed a stressor. The biggest stress, the biggest
• 1:34
  stressor in your life can be your narcissistic partner or
• 1:38
  parent or whoever it is you're dealing with.
• 1:40
  It's not always a significant other guy.
• 1:41
  Your narcissistic friend is always getting you in drama and
• 1:44
  having you feel a certain type of way.
• 1:46
  You know, the narcissism, it whip, It whips up, you know, and
• 1:51
  it can cause you physically, it can affect your physical health.
• 1:56
  It absolutely can. That's what I tell people.
• 1:58
  Like being in a type of relationship doesn't just, you
• 2:01
  know, being in a type of relationship doesn't just mess
• 2:04
  with your mental. It can, yeah, you know, I'm not
• 2:08
  just saying there's anything wrong.
• 2:09
  Like, I'm not trying to lessen the effects of your mental
• 2:13
  health when you're in these relationships, but it actually
• 2:16
  bleeds into your physical health as well.
• 2:19
  You know you might be losing and gaining weight because your
• 2:21
  eating habits are changing. Or whatever.
• 2:23
  You might eat. You might eat your feelings.
• 2:25
  Some people eat their feelings. You might gain weight.
• 2:26
  Like, I ballooned, I gained 40 lbs, I gained 50 lbs for a
• 2:29
  couple months, you know, then they blame you for gaining that
• 2:32
  weight. So you now now you're on a
• 2:33
  strict diet and lose the weight. Now they talk about how you look
• 2:36
  again, like you would never be enough for the wrong person.
• 2:39
  They just say that y'all, you would never be enough for the
• 2:41
  wrong person. You would never be heavy enough,
• 2:43
  light enough, fit enough, fine enough, dreads long enough for
• 2:48
  you to make tall enough, short enough you'd never be enough for
• 2:49
  the wrong person, right? But they affect you.
• 2:53
  You can't. They don't like you go to the
• 2:55
  gym. They make you feel physically
• 2:56
  insecure about going to the gym. So you don't go to the gym.
• 2:59
  So you gain weight. Your physical health falls off.
• 3:01
  You might be a you might have used to be a personal trainer,
• 3:03
  but now you look. Now you don't look like it.
• 3:05
  You know what I mean? Now you don't.
• 3:06
  You no longer look like a person trained anymore.
• 3:08
  You don't feel good. I know personal trainer bodies
• 3:10
  vary. I know everybody.
• 3:12
  This person trained is not, you know, Tony, Tony Horton.
• 3:15
  Everybody doesn't like Tony Horton from P90X.
• 3:18
  Shout out Tony Horton, but that's the that's how it goes
• 3:22
  right there. Narcissistic, toxic
• 3:24
  relationships, narcissistic, toxic people keep you in a
• 3:27
  constant state of fight or flight.
• 3:29
  Your cortisol levels, the stress hormone, are super high when
• 3:34
  you're in these toxic relationships and when your
• 3:36
  cortisol levels are high, it just affects your the way you
• 3:39
  look, your look, y'all you are giving your looks to this person
• 3:46
  that is abusing you and not appreciating them.
• 3:49
  You know you are giving your looks, your youth, your youth,
• 3:53
  the problem of your life. And everybody has, everybody's
• 3:56
  has different problems. There's there can be multiple
• 3:58
  problems you're giving them. Let's just put it this way.
• 4:00
  You're giving them one prime of your life, not not all the Proms
• 4:03
  because there could be multiple Proms.
• 4:04
  You could be like we priming out, right?
• 4:06
  We're priming out, we're priming up and whatnot to survive and to
• 4:09
  thrive in these, in these types of relationship dynamics.
• 4:11
  But that's how it goes. Y'all you know you're giving
• 4:15
  this to this person that doesn't deserve it.
• 4:17
  They're they constantly keep you in fight or flight.
• 4:20
  You don't know how to make like you're always stressed out about
• 4:22
  how to make this person happy. You're always like, do you like
• 4:25
  my gift? You know I hate the gift you
• 4:28
  thoughtless bitch. They start cussing you out,
• 4:30
  trying to heart they they're unappreciative.
• 4:33
  They don't appreciate what you do for them.
• 4:35
  They don't appreciate that you're there for them or you're
• 4:36
  trying. They don't appreciate the
• 4:38
  effort. You should have just not tried
• 4:40
  at all. What I went all over this.
• 4:43
  You. I should have tried what you
• 4:46
  know, especially I know and I know today being the 15th of
• 4:50
  February, you know, I know now is it.
• 4:53
  Yeah, today is. But today being the 15th of
• 4:56
  February, like I know that a lot of people experienced this
• 4:59
  yesterday. You experienced this yesterday
• 5:02
  on Valentine's Day. The stress of your cortisol
• 5:05
  level is high. You're not doing enough.
• 5:06
  You're not getting anything. You don't know what to expect.
• 5:08
  You're walking on egg shells in toxic relationships.
• 5:11
  You don't just walk on egg shells.
• 5:13
  You sleep on them. You live on them.
• 5:14
  They carry them, carry them around in your pocket.
• 5:17
  You put them, you put them under your bra or under your tank top.
• 5:20
  They're they're they're always touching you.
• 5:22
  You always have an egg shell that's ready to crack no matter
• 5:25
  where you move. So your stress levels are super
• 5:27
  high. So that affects your physical
• 5:29
  health. Yeah, And I know y'all I've
• 5:34
  been. I say again, I've been in toxic
• 5:35
  relationships before. I've haven't.
• 5:37
  You know, before Lee, you're the toxic person.
• 5:38
  Yeah, every, every relationship. Being in Lee is a toxic
• 5:40
  relationship. Yeah, that's part of it.
• 5:43
  But like, I've been in toxic relationships where I wasn't the
• 5:45
  main toxic antagonist, you know what I mean?
• 5:47
  I've been in toxic. I've been in toxic relationships
• 5:50
  and I've gained a lot of weight. If y'all see these old pictures
• 5:52
  of me online or whatever, they're like, damn, leave.
• 5:54
  What the hell happened to you? I got.
• 5:55
  I was stressed out. Yeah.
• 5:58
  So right now, I'll see how I look right now.
• 6:01
  So right now I'm 248. I'm 248 lbs Right now, right?
• 6:06
  I know people won't ask. Well like you don't look like
• 6:07
  your big I'm 63, so 248 lbs is you know, is is proportioned and
• 6:12
  what not. But I was almost 300 lbs.
• 6:14
  My face is just bloomed up, dreaded short.
• 6:16
  I didn't look like I'd look right now, you know, because I
• 6:19
  was stressed out. This person was driving me
• 6:21
  crazy. And I was driving her crazy,
• 6:22
  dude, but like, she was driving me crazier.
• 6:24
  I wasn't the victim though, you know, we're both toxic as hell,
• 6:27
  but that's part of it. Y'all, that's the the life I was
• 6:30
  living with this person, you know, and it was driving.
• 6:33
  It was making me lose my damn mind.
• 6:36
  So I was always stressed. I was affecting my physical
• 6:38
  health and I was like a super athlete in high school, you know
• 6:40
  what I mean? Put it this way.
• 6:42
  In high school I was the same height.
• 6:44
  Now 636263, I was 185 lbs, you know?
• 6:50
  So in this relationship I was almost a £300.
• 6:52
  I gained almost 100 lbs, You know, being stressed out,
• 6:56
  eating, eating ice cream and Doritos ice cream, Doritos and
• 6:59
  Hawaiian Punch. You know, McDonald's.
• 7:01
  I was ballooned up and then I lost a bunch of weight after the
• 7:04
  relationship. So I got super skinny.
• 7:05
  I got down to 190. I was super skinny then, but
• 7:08
  then I did. Right right now I'm 24248 right
• 7:10
  now. But that's the way it goes.
• 7:12
  It stresses you out. It does these relationship have
• 7:17
  an effect on your physical health.
• 7:19
  That woman escaped her relationship and now she's just
• 7:21
  doing fine with her body. Like she's like, damn, my my
• 7:23
  body is regulated better. I just like my whole body.
• 7:26
  It feels better. But she's still trauma bonding.
• 7:28
  So she her mind is like, she's still kind of bonding to the
• 7:31
  relationship. Going back, I like, are you
• 7:32
  willing? I was like, you know, I had to
• 7:34
  ask her. I asked, yeah.
• 7:35
  When I'm doing one on one's people you y'all ever done a
• 7:37
  one-on-one. But y'all I'll be I'll be asking
• 7:38
  all these questions I asked her. I was like, is this relationship
• 7:41
  worth your physical health? You know?
• 7:44
  Is this person that just made you, has always made you feel
• 7:47
  like you're not enough? Are they worth your physical?
• 7:49
  Giving up your physical health and resilience that you're
• 7:52
  feeling right now, like you just told me a few minutes ago, you
• 7:55
  feel great right now. So you're willing to give up
• 7:57
  that great feeling for this person that's not going to
• 7:59
  appreciate it. That's going to drive you to
• 8:01
  make you make you not feel like enough.
• 8:04
  You see what I'm saying? They made it.
• 8:05
  She was like, oh, damn, they gave me something.
• 8:07
  They gave me. They gave me something to think
• 8:09
  about. You see what I'm saying?
• 8:10
  Gave me something to think about because I don't tell people what
• 8:14
  to do. Y'all.
• 8:14
  You're going to make the decision on your own.
• 8:16
  Only thing I can do is provide you the information necessary
• 8:18
  for you to make a conscientious decision.
• 8:20
  That's what I do, You know, that's what I've been doing for
• 8:24
  this is a year, three whole years now.
• 8:27
  Wow, four years on TikTok. And you know, talking about this
• 8:31
  like it, being an mental health advocate, but that's how the
• 8:36
  mind goes. That's part of this dynamic gal
• 8:40
  that so many people face and so many people are stressing and
• 8:43
  struggling with. So but you have to empower
• 8:46
  yourself to keep it moving because you are stronger than
• 8:48
  what you think you are. So many people are giving up
• 8:51
  their lives and their physical health and they're one of the
• 8:54
  primes or multiple primes of their life to talk to people
• 8:57
  that don't deserve it and they don't care how they leave you.
• 9:00
  Y'all they don't care if they leave you broken, overweight,
• 9:04
  underweight, frail, you know what I mean?
• 9:08
  Just mentally unstable. They don't care how they leave
• 9:10
  you because in the mind of a lot of narcissists, they feel like,
• 9:14
  well, you've decided nobody, nobody handcuffs you to the bed
• 9:16
  and they just stay in this relationship.
• 9:18
  You decided to stay. So they will blame you for your
• 9:21
  own physical health, you know and like say if you get to the
• 9:23
  point where you you need their help or you need some empathy
• 9:26
  from them or you're on on some type of healing journey like
• 9:29
  medical journey, like you need medical help right now.
• 9:33
  You don't expect empathy for somebody who doesn't who?
• 9:35
  Who doesn't appreciate you. You know, if they don't
• 9:38
  appreciate you or what you've done for them, you can't expect.
• 9:40
  You should not expect empathy from them.
• 9:42
  It would be a shocker if they were super empathetic towards
• 9:46
  you right now. When you need, like I said, when
• 9:48
  you need them the most right now.
• 9:50
  So you have to empower yourself because it's part of the
• 9:53
  journey. Y'all, yeah, it's part of the
• 9:56
  journey. It's part of the healing, It's
• 9:58
  part of the growth. And I'm rooting like, yeah, I
• 10:00
  root for every single one of y'all, You know, I've been
• 10:03
  rooting for you. But that physical part of y'all
• 10:07
  physical health is so important. Like you give up your think
• 10:11
  about this right here. If y'all have kids, you have
• 10:14
  people that you you don't have to even have kids.
• 10:15
  You have people that you want to be around to see grow up or you
• 10:19
  know, you want to be here alone. You want to live a more
• 10:21
  authentic life. You don't want to cut your
• 10:23
  lifespan short because imagine, imagine getting so sick and
• 10:27
  unhealthy permitted times relationship that you lose 20
• 10:29
  years out of your life. Let's say you go, let's say you
• 10:31
  believe in afterlife, right? You go to heaven.
• 10:33
  He's like, how old was I supposed to be living for?
• 10:36
  I had you down for, you know, had you down if you, you know,
• 10:41
  had you down for 7880 years old. Oh, damn.
• 10:44
  Died at 50. Yeah, you had a heart attack
• 10:46
  from the stress of your relationships.
• 10:47
  You lost 30 years of your life. You know, you you might have
• 10:50
  have you might have extended your life 30 years if you got,
• 10:54
  if you got away from this toxicity.
• 10:56
  You see what I'm saying? Don't give your life to these
• 10:59
  people. I know there's a crazy example
• 11:00
  right there. But like you know what I mean.
• 11:02
  I'm like I don't know if you can talk to God like that.
• 11:05
  Is there a waiting line to talk to God when you get there?
• 11:07
  I don't you know may all know you know but you don't want to
• 11:11
  give up your youth or your any more Proms in your life to a
• 11:14
  toxic relationship dynamic or if you if you.
• 11:17
  I know everybody can't leave. Y'all so I know everybody can't
• 11:19
  leave these relationships. But start taking care of your
• 11:21
  physical health better in these relationships.
• 11:23
  We'll either make me better go feel bad by going to the gym
• 11:25
  working at home. They make me feel insecure about
• 11:26
  working at home. Yeah, you got to find something
• 11:28
  to do. You know they're not.
• 11:30
  Yeah, I don't know if y'all around each other 24/7.
• 11:32
  You can walk around the block, push the stroller, do something.
• 11:36
  You know, I had to walk to the store, take the take the
• 11:38
  elevator. I mean, take the stairs instead
• 11:40
  of elevator, do something for your physical health, manage
• 11:42
  their diet better. You mean take some medication.
• 11:45
  Just don't let this person stress you out as much.
• 11:47
  You. And when you can anticipate
• 11:48
  their maneuvers and what they're going to do, it allows their
• 11:51
  stress level to go down. You know what they're going to
• 11:53
  do. You know how they're going to
• 11:54
  react. You've been around them long
• 11:55
  enough that you know how they're going to react to what they're
• 11:57
  going to do, so you can anticipate it.
• 11:59
  You're not stressed out how they're going to react.
• 12:01
  You know how they're going to react.
• 12:02
  You're like, I'm not telling you that it's going to be 0 stress,
• 12:04
  but it's less stress when you know what they're going to do or
• 12:06
  what they're going to say, you know, in that space right there,
• 12:09
  unless it gets physically violent now, then you know what
• 12:10
  they're going to do. They might try to send you to
• 12:13
  meet your maker sooner anyway, but y'all be safe.
• 12:17
  Take care of your physical health because you deserve it.
• 12:18
  Your kids deserve it. Everybody, right?
• 12:20
  You know, keep fighting. Keep fighting for you.
• 12:23
  I'll say that. Anyways, y'all be strong, be
• 12:26
  safe, make sure you subscribe to the channel and make sure you
• 12:28
  subscribe to the newsletter as well.
• 12:29
  Y'all but this is peace. Thank you so much for making it
• 12:34
  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness rock
• 12:36
  star and I appreciate you for being here.
• 12:38
  If you haven't already. Make sure to click on the screen
• 12:40
  to subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
• 12:43
  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
• 12:45
  here for you to purchase my kids.
• 12:47
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon so check that
• 12:51
  out. Thank you.
• 12:52
  I will see you in the next video.
• 12:53
  Peace.