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Building a Resilient Church Culture: Part 6 – Healthy Families · Providence Baptist Church - Sermons

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This week, we will think together about the need for healthy families.
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Healthy families.
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Now, as you will see, I have chosen the particular text I had you join me in
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! Because we will see Joshua deciding to lead his family in the way of God,
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regardless of what the larger society decided to do.
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But I'm going to do something odd, because we're not going to look at the text until my conclusion.
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Which I don't normally do.
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So I usually just get up and read the text, and then talk about the text.
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But in order for us to get a clear picture of the significance of the family,
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we're going to have to do some biblical theology together.
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We're going to have to do kind of a flyover of the scripture.
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And then it helps us to understand why it's so important that Joshua makes this decision.
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So, you can do what you want with Joshua 24, if you want to put your ribbon bookmark in it,
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or the finger.
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And if you want to try to join me, you're welcome to.
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But I'm going to move pretty fast for the sake of our time together.
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Okay.
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The Bible teaches that a primary purpose of the family is to help humanity understand three massive truths.
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Number one, God's triune nature.
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Number two, the gospel.
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And number three, the beauty of the church.
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In the family, God has embedded pictures of himself, of his plan of salvation, and of his redeemed people.
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Now, I can't just make a claim like that to you without showing you where we find it in the Bible.
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So, where is that in the scripture?
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Well, we'll need to start with the biblical connection between marriage and having children.
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Recall one of the first things that God does for Adam.
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He creates a helper suitable for him.
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Right?
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He says it's not good that the man is alone.
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Amen?
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Men.
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Right?
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So, God creates for him a helper suitable for him.
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Right?
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Brings them together into a new family unit.
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He presides over that first marriage.
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And he gives to them a command found in Genesis 1.28.
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Be fruitful and multiply.
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Have children.
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And this was not just a pre-fall ordinance.
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God tells Noah the same thing after the flood in Genesis 9.7.
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Be fruitful and increase in number.
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Multiply on the earth and increase upon it.
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Good job, Christ Family Church.
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You're fulfilling the mandate.
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I love it.
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At this point, it is important that we are clear.
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Some are blessed with the gift of singleness.
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1 Corinthians 7.7.
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Some in God's mysterious providence are unable to have children.
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But for the rest, it would seem families with children aren't optional.
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It seems to be the normative pattern that we see coming out of these commands in the Bible.
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I believe that the procreative mandate still matters, at least in so much as not having children should not be the normative thing.
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It should be less normative than having kids and many of them.
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Why is God so insistent that humans multiply?
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Well, the answer is found when we consider that he created Adam and Eve in his image.
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Genesis 1.26-27.
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They're meant to show forth something of who he is.
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Not perfectly, but some measure of our God.
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So he wants his image bearers to multiply because he wants more of his image spread throughout the world.
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We go forth as image bearers.
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And he decided to graciously share the privilege of creating humans made in his image with us.
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He didn't have to do it this way.
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Bruce Ware writes,
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It is as if God said,
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I created the first and original pair of human beings in my very image,
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and I could continue creating them unilaterally so that you would have no part to play.
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But instead, you are not to bring about human beings.
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You are to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth with my greatest of all creations,
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humans made in my very image.
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So we're invited to procreate as being image bearers of God,
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as being creators of image bearers.
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You see what's happening there.
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Kostenberger, in his book, God, Marriage, and Family, which I would commend to you,
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said,
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This is remarkable.
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God commanded Adam and Eve and us to bear and multiply his image in part by procreation.
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But God was not finished.
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He also gave the multiplying family massive significance in the history of redemption.
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We see this most immediately in the family of Abraham,
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whose lineage, his family, God used to point to his plan of salvation for the nations,
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for the whole world to be blessed through the family of Abraham.
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We also see it in the New Testament,
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especially as Paul shows how husbands and wives resemble Christ and the church.
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And there are more portraits embedded in the family.
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Portraits that display, as we'll see in a moment,
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God's triune self, the gospel, and the church.
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So let's look at each of those individually.
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Number one, the family presents a portrait of God's triune self.
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Specifically, the family provides us with a portrait of the father-son relationship within the Trinity.
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This is why Paul could write in Ephesians chapter 3, verse 14 and 15,
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For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,
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from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named.
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The relationship between heavenly father and son is the ultimate reality.
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The relationship between earthly fathers and sons and parents and children generally
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are small, at times distorted, but yet meaningful pictures of this ultimate reality.
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Now, it's not an absolute analogy.
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I know this to be true.
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The relationship of the heavenly father to the son is unique.
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For instance, the son was eternally begotten, not created in time like our children are.
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But for all the differences, the analogy remains.
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In the Bible, we cannot get around the fact that the essential relationship
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between these two members of the Godhead is as father and son.
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We see this repeated again and again and again.
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And so, examples.
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God the Father, twice from heaven, spoke audibly and declared Jesus as his beloved son.
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At his baptism and at his transfiguration.
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Matthew 3, 17 and chapter 17 and verse 5.
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Jesus at age 12 referred to his father's house.
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Luke chapter 2 and verse 49.
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Later to his disciples, Jesus explained his relationship with the father in terms of a human son copying his dad.
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John chapter 5, verse 19 says,
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Truly, truly, truly, I say to you, the son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the father doing.
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For whatever the father does, that the son does likewise.
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So, all that said, here's the point.
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It is difficult to speak of the Trinity accurately without speaking of God the Father and God the Son.
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Consider the enormous implications for our families and our church in understanding that God intends to project his image in part through parent-child relationships.
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If we get our minds around this, it's going to do some things for us.
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First, it's going to keep us from viewing children as idols.
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Some of us are tempted to worship our children, to put them at the center of everything that we do.
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Fathers and mothers or even singles who put children on pedestals need to be reminded that God did not give families the divine image so that we can worship them,
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but so that we can worship him.
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Your identity is not derived from your children, how well they do or how poorly they do.
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By all means, let's build up our homes, but as a means of glorifying God, as displaying this relationship within the Trinity.
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Also understanding this keeps us from viewing children as tools.
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Others will argue that children and families are important because they are the building blocks of society and the church.
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And it is true, families are used by God as secondary means for keeping the church and the world from just flying apart.
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But that's not the whole story.
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They're secondary means.
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Families are not simply social glue.
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They are an actual display of our triune God.
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Thirdly, it keeps us from viewing children as obstacles.
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Still others may be tempted to think that having children is not that important
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and can be a barrier to godly ambition and valuable Christian service.
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Treat them as a burden to the mission of God.
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But if parent-child relationships are commanded and bear witness to God's very nature,
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then nothing could be further from the truth.
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Children are not obstacles to ministry.
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They themselves, their very presence is a ministry.
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Sometimes that's hard to wrap our minds around.
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Fourthly, it keeps us from overlooking children.
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Without a theological understanding for the role of children, many of us simply overlook them.
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If we're single, we view them as someone else's responsibility and unimportant to our life as Christians
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and our life as a church.
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I don't think we're guilty of that.
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Perhaps some of us are tempted to it.
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If we're parents, we may simply view children as little more than objects of evangelism.
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They're meant to do more than that, although they are those things that are meant to help us see the nature of our triune God.
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Secondly, the family presents a portrait of the gospel.
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The family also provides a profoundly personal picture of our salvation.
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In salvation, God adopts us.
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Don't you love the doctrine of adoption?
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We were not gods and then we are made gods.
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He makes us his sons and daughters.
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God referred to Israel as his firstborn son in Exodus chapter 4.
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And the people of Israel were encouraged to sing of God's fatherly compassion.
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Psalm 103 verse 13.
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But Israel as a son merely pointed to Christ the true son.
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The good news is that Christ came to effect our adoption and to make us fellow heirs.
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Sons in the son.
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Paul wrote in Galatians chapter 4 verse 4 and following.
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But when the time had fully come, God sent his son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law that we might receive the full rights of sons.
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Because you are sons, God sent the spirit of his son into our hearts, the spirit who calls out Abba, Father.
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So you're no longer a slave, but a son.
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And since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
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Ladies, you want to be sons in this biblical language.
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And you are, right, heirs of God.
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The perfect son, the Lord Jesus Christ, was not ashamed to call us brothers.
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Hebrews chapter 2 and verse 11.
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So he taught his disciples to pray to our Father in heaven.
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Matthew 6 and verse 9.
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And reminded them not to be anxious about food and clothes because your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
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Matthew 6, 32.
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He also promised them that his Father would not abandon them as orphans.
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John chapter 14.
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Rather, we have been adopted in Christ.
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Parent-child relationships are no accident or small part of God's plan.
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They are designed to teach us by analogy of our precious relationship to God, our true Father in Christ.
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You may have heard me read this quotation before, but I think it's a good one that needs to be repeated.
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J.I. Packer once wrote,
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If you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity,
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find out how much he makes of the thought of being God's child and having God as his Father.
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If this is not the thought that prompts and controls his worship and prayers and his whole outlook on life,
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it means that he does not understand Christianity very well at all.
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End quote.
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Our culture knows that Christians refer to God as the Father and to Jesus as the Son,
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and they are watching us.
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In a time of great family turmoil,
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it is more rare now to meet a young person with a healthy, functional family
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than with a disjointed, dysfunctional family.
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We're going to welcome college students back soon.
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It's rare when a college student comes from a really healthy, vibrant Christian family.
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It's more normative that they don't.
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So how our families function matters a great deal.
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Husbands and fathers, much of this charge falls to us.
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We are to display the divine love of our Heavenly Father in the way we serve our families.
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Men, let's make complementarianism attractive.
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Let's not let anybody argue against the complementarianism that exists in our fellowship.
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Consider a few implications for our families and our church
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in understanding that God intends to teach us something of the gospel
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through parent-child relationships.
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First, it keeps us from being complacent.
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God is not satisfied with our current state,
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but actively works to conform us to the image of His Son.
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Romans 8.29
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God's purpose is that, like Jesus, we would imitate Him.
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Ephesians 5.1
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Paul says,
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Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.
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God calls us to instruct and to disciple our children.
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We are to call them to conform to righteous and wise living
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and teach them concerning the good authority of God.
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That's at least in some measure what we do
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when we invite children to be part of our gathering together.
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We are saying to them,
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The world does not revolve around you.
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We come together and there is a greater authority
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that resides over us and our lives.
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I was really grateful as we were just getting ready to start.
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And those moments are always chaotic
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and people are getting in here
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and we kick off with a song.
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And James Knight, who's a six-year-old, ran past me.
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And he didn't say it for me to hear it,
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but he said,
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Church is starting!
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Hooray!
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Praise God, right?
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He's been sitting in here
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and he's excited to be sitting in here with us.
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We are meant to be growing up our kids in this way.
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And parents, it is a long-term thing,
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a long-term work that we are doing together.
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Having this picture also keeps us from being impatient.
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We must be patient with our children
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as God is patient.
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And I am thankful for this.
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Psalm 103 and verse 13 says,
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As a father has compassion on his children,
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so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.
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God is endlessly patient with me
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as he views me in Christ.
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If we display the gospel well in our parent-child relationships,
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it will be consistent,
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but careful,
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and compassionate,
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and kind.
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It also promotes formal and informal adoptive practices.
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Because our adoption in Christ is precious to us,
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we ought also care about,
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participate in,
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and support adoption.
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I'm so thankful for the many people in our fellowship
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or have come through our fellowship
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that have adopted.
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It's a wonderful, wonderful thing.
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Such a display of the gospel.
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And I say formal
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because we need to welcome children into our homes
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and declare to them,
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you belong to us
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with all the formality of the legal process,
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and no one's taken you away.
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And I also say informal
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because there may be children
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and adults for that matter.
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We talked about adopting college students
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during the announcements
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who need to be told,
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you belong to us,
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even though circumstances won't allow
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or just aren't necessary.
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They're just people that we give ourselves to
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that they might know that they belong.
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I want to say so much more about this,
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but time will not permit me.
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I'll conclude this point by simply saying,
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what a blessing it is to be part of God's family.
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The love we have for our children,
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biological or otherwise,
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the privileges they have as our children,
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the care we show to them,
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is an imperfect,
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but a marvelous picture
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of what we have in Christ
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through the gospel.
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Thirdly,
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the family presents a portrait
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of the beauty of the church.
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Finally,
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the family draws
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an equally stunning portrait
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of the church.
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Peter calls the church
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the family of God,
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1 Peter 4, 17.
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Paul calls the church
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God's household
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in 1 Timothy 3.
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How is it that we belong
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to the same household?
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Because being united to Christ
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brings us into this household.
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Ephesians 2,
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verses 1-10.
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It means that we've been united
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to one another.
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Ephesians 2, 11-20.
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As we have seen,
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we've been adopted
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as brothers and sisters.
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Paul tells all Christians
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to love our fellow church members
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as siblings.
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He consistently refers
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to members of the church
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under his care
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as brothers.
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The word for brothers here
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is gender neutral.
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It means siblings.
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Right?
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I'll start calling you,
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hey, sibling.
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He also writes
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to the Thessalonians
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in 1 Thessalonians 4,
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verse 9 and 10.
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Now about brotherly love,
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we do not need
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to write to you,
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for you yourselves
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have been taught by God
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to love each other.
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And in fact,
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you do love
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all the brothers
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throughout Macedonia.
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Yet we urge you, brothers,
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to do so more and more.
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That would be my encouragement
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to you today
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as I've seen you all
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love each other so well.
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Do so more and more.
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Paul also commanded the Romans
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in Romans 12,
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well in verse 10,
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to love one another
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with brotherly affection.
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Because of the great
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horror of sin,
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I know that not all families
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are united in the kind of love
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that we all long for.
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We don't really have,
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some of us,
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this analogy beautifully portrayed
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in our upbringing.
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But the analogy still holds true.
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You love your family.
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Even when your family
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is difficult
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and uncomfortable,
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you work out those differences
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and you work through
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the discomfort,
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not just to tolerate
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one another,
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but to love one another,
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to have affection
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for one another,
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to seek the highest good
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of the other
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because they're your family.
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And maybe why this analogy
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is so clearly used
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of the church.
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The family
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is the first
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and foundational institution
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created by our Lord.
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And it is the foundation
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of any healthy church.
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I don't know that we're
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going to really get
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our minds around
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what a healthy church
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should look like
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if it's not full
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of healthy families.
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Healthy families
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will certainly be indispensable
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if our church
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is to be resilient
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in the years to come.
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I suggest to you
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that this is why
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the enemy is so bent
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on destroying the family.
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This is the front line
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of attack
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in our nation.
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If he can get
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at the family,
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he can get
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at the church.
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And he has.
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And he does.
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Let's not let that
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be so amongst us.
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On your bulletin
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this morning,
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the historic,
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quote,
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17th century
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English pastor
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Thomas Risley
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said,
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quote,
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the lack of religion
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in families
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is the decay
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of churches.
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The degree of piety
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in families
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directly determines
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the strength
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and prosperity
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of the church.
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And Christ's kingdom.
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So the family
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is important.
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And it displays
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these beautiful things.
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The triune nature
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of God.
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The gospel itself.
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The beauty
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of the church.
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And so let me read
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Joshua chapter 24
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verse 14
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and 15.
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And remind you
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before I read,
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beloved,
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that this is God's word
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to us written
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for his glory
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and our good.
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we would all
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do well to listen
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to it
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in order to believe
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its promises
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and obey
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its commands.
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Now,
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therefore,
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fear the Lord
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and serve him
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in sincerity
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and in faithfulness.
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Put away the gods
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that your father
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served beyond the river
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and in Egypt
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and serve the Lord.
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And if it is evil
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in your eyes
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to serve the Lord,
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choose this day
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whom you will serve,
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whether the gods
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your father served
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in the region
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beyond the river
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or the gods
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of the Amorites
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in whose land
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you dwell.
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But as for me
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and my house,
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we will serve
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the Lord.
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This chapter
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closes out
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the book of Joshua.
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Israel has accomplished
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their quasi-conquering
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of the land
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of Canaan.
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But because of
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their disobedience
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to conquer it
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on God's terms,
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they're about
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to encounter
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much trouble
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and will share
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much of the land
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with these Canaanites
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here,
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a group of them
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called the Amorites.
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Joshua here
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calls them
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to choose
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whether or not
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they will serve
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the God
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who has delivered
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them time
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and time again
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or the worthless
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idols of the people
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of the land.
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The simple point
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to be made
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is this.
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For us to build
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a resilient church culture
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and to continue
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in the work
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of building
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as a resilient
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church culture,
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heads of households
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will have to decide
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who we will
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serve.
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We will have to decide
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not to bow
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at the feet
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of cultural norms,
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leading our children
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to worship
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the idols
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of this land.
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And we will have
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to decide
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to lead our children
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to the worship
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of the Most High God
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who is the only one
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worthy
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of our worship.
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So let's continue
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to be about
26:11
the work
26:12
of building
26:12
a resilient
26:13
church culture
26:14
by God's grace
26:16
and to God's glory
26:17
by working on,
26:20
taking up,
26:21
thinking about
26:22
clear mission,
26:24
robust theology,
26:26
accurate histories,
26:28
sacrificial hospitality,
26:30
and healthy families.
26:31
Let's pray.
26:32
Let's pray.