Latest / We Are The Same / Symptom Karmic Lesson: Longing

Transcript

Symptom Karmic Lesson: Longing · We Are The Same

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone, I hope you've had a beautiful week.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: In today's episode, we're going to talk about healing the symptom karmic lesson of longing.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: This episode was actually a request, and I was very interested in the term longing because it's very specific.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Longing to me means something other than desire.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's desire and wanting where it's almost painful to do so.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's desiring and wanting where physical sensations can be felt.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not just about the ego impulsively lashing out.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's a longing for a partner, a longing for children, a longing for something your body and brain don't feel like they're ever going to get.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, when you look up the term longing in the dictionary, it states, quote, a strong, persistent desire or craving, especially for something unattainable or distant.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening with regards to longing are two things, the main one being biological, and the second being egoic.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about the two.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Biologically, we have what's called the mesolimbic pathway in the brain.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: This is our reward circuit.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, for example, when you see a commercial for pizza and you start craving pizza, this is because the brain's reward circuit lights up and says, pizza is so delicious and it makes me feel good.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Not to get too into the nitty-gritty of the brain at this time, but the main attribute that's doing this is the chemical dopamine.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Dopamine is one of our feel-good hormones, and it's released when you do things like exercise, eat delicious food, listen to music, have sex, etc.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Dopamine is also responsible for anticipatory rewards.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: So when you see an advertisement for pizza, not only does your brain say pizza is so delicious and it makes me feel good, but it also says, pizza is so delicious and will make me feel good.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: That is where the I want it craving comes from.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, anticipatory rewards don't actually have to have been already experienced.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning, if you've never had pizza before and you see a commercial for it, your brain may still say, I want it, because the part of the brain that experiences the anticipatory phase is different than that which experiences the outcome phase, which is when the reward is received.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when the ego feels like it's lacking something important, such as a person, social connection, or food, the brain also releases dopamine so that the ego drives you forward and attempts to get whatever the ego wants you to get it.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, the dopamine that is released when you are thinking about a specific person that you're longing for is from the same brain center that drug cravings come from, which literally make you feel like you are withdrawing when they aren't around.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: So remember the pain that I spoke about when you long for something.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is why.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: So this biological effect is the first thing that we need to understand before we can start to get a handle on the symptom karmic lesson of longing.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: When it comes to the ego, the ego is the second factor that drives longing.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: The ego is in charge of deciding, except for food, water, and warmth, what is important and what it should trigger the brain to desire.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is a mixture of societal pressures, programming, and of course, subjective value systems.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: So if in your culture, family is considered exceptionally important and you agree to that value system, your ego will send signs to your brain that you are lacking something that is exceptionally important and you will long for it.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is where longing, being a symptom karmic lesson, comes into play.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because my rule of thumb is that if something affects your mental equilibrium, it is a lesson.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And please don't misconstrue me saying that, that that includes things that your body needs to stay alive.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: So what do we do about turning down the longing in the brain?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we change our value system and become non-attached.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you long for a family of your own, can you change your perspective and see that you already have one in some way?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your friends, your social group, your biological family, an extended family.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't have even those things, can you change your idea of what a family of your own looks like and go find that instead?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe hosting a dinner party on the same day every week.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe joining new groups and meeting new people.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe even moving towns and starting over.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: If the thing that you long for is not attainable where you are, then why are you keeping yourself in a place in which your value system can never be upheld?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd rather get rid of the value altogether, then practicing non-attachment in small areas of your life will start you off in that direction.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I have many podcast episodes, videos, and my book Ego Degradation, which talks about how to do this.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: These value systems are within yourself and you can always alter them, change them, or non-attach to them.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Non-attachment is not detachment.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's realizing that you already have everything you need and nothing external will make you any more complete.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: It is how the ego perceives these things instead.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: But remember that when it comes to the ego and longing, it is literally running your life.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Don't judge yourself for it, but instead validate the emotions and have a conversation with your ego on what the two of you actually want and how to move forward.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes a little bit of dialogue can open the way to a brand new path.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Until next week, all of my best and highest vibrations to you.