Latest / We Talk Back / Dapper 101 with Kelvin Davis

Transcript

Dapper 101 with Kelvin Davis · We Talk Back

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: talk back.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in for a
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: new episode of We Talk Back, a show dedicated for
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: you niggas and these hoes and everybody in between. It's
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: your co-host, AJ Holiday. What up?
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: Hey, y'all.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: It's me, Timbem. I love y'all, man.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Y'all be telling me y'all love me back. Look, AJ
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: rolled her eyes just now.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Thank y'all for tuning in once again, everybody. My weekend
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: was litty. Y'all, I went to Nashville and I participated
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: in the Thrill of Possibilities Summit hosted by Nissan on
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: her radio in Black Effect. And I got to speak
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: to some young, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed college students on a panel
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: about HBCUs. And it was so much fun. I really
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: enjoyed it. The students looked like they enjoyed it. Everybody
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: from Black Effect Network really had a good time. So
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I was grateful to be a part of something so
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: monumental in our Black community. Thank you, Nissan. Thank you,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Black Effect. And thank you, iHeartRadio, for having me for that.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: That was great.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: That sounds super dope. Glad you enjoyed yourself.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was great, man. It was great. How about
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: your weekend?
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: I didn't do much, y'all. Chill out. Prepare for this week.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: I really want to come to your stock class when
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: you host it. I know you were doing preparing for that.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes. Okay, so this is what I be preparing for,
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: all right? So, yes, y'all. And I have been meaning
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: to mention it. Thank you for reminding me. So, I
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: have finally started putting together a curriculum for my options
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: trading class. I'll put some notifications about that out soon
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: for anybody who would like to attend. Even if you
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: don't ever trade options, I feel like all black people
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: should know how to trade fucking options, especially with our
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: declining economy. The stock market ain't going nowhere. So if
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: you can learn how to make money on the downside
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: of the stock market, that's where it's at. So you
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: still make money even if the stock market goes down
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: with option trading. Get in there. Check it out. But
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: that's about it. Free?
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: It's for me.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's not free. And look, niggas, it ain't free.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: You know, I just want to get compensated a little
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: bit for my time. But for the most part, it
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: definitely is going to be a well put together, comprehensive course.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Inexpensive in comparison to a lot of shit you might
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: get charged for out here. Because I have seen some
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: programs upwards $ 5, 000, $ 10, 000 people be out here trying to
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: charge people. I just want you to have the knowledge.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: That's where my love comes from.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: I'll be there seeking some of that love, bitch. What
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: happened to stupid internet news?
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, so the internet is in a frenzy right now.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: You know Young Miami's baby daddy, Southside? I know on
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Instagram he's 808 Mob Boss, but his son and friends
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: in a classroom recorded his teacher, their teacher basically saying
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: that how he's racist, essentially.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I did see it. It's a Texas middle school. Bowls. Bowls.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: B-O-H-L-S.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Is that Bowls?
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: Whatever.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Middle school. The teacher. Bowls to the wall.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: They gonna nail his ass to the wall.
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: Look like it.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: He's on administrative leave for admitting to his very young,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: impressionable class that he is, in fact, a racist. And
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: I was trying to, you know, listen to the discussion
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: to understand the context in which he was saying, because
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: there is a point where he says, I don't hate anybody.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I don't, he said, I think I'm ethnocentric and which
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: means I do think I belong to the superior race.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: What do you think about that?
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: I think what the teacher in that situation was trying
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: to explain could have possibly, you know, he could have
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: explained things a little bit better, but I think he
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: was probably trying to tell him the difference between prejudice
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: and racism, maybe, a little bit. Because I think that
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: most people are prejudiced. We do have prejudices against other
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: groups of people that are outside of our group. That's
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: like a real thing.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Shit, we have prejudices against our own people, I feel like.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so especially in a time like we're in right now, right?
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: All this shit that's going on with the J community.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Or whatever. Why we can't say it, but yeah. So
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: with that, it's almost like, and then now we're saying,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: we're the real ones. We own this earth and all
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: this stuff. Everybody probably practices, what is the word you use? Ethnocentrism?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's right.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I think everybody practices that, but nobody wants to be
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: honest about it. So it's like, what team do you
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: play for?
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: And then you root for that team?
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So even like when we get mad when we
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: see black men with white women. Like, why can't they
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: do that without our group feeling some type of way
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: about it? So there is the prejudice.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Because I ain't got no man.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Right. If you had a man, you wouldn't feel no
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: type of way. But that's really where it stems from.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: But I don't know. I don't think that was a
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: conversation for those young kids.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Six and seven, eighth graders.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah. No.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was, you know, because a lot of adults aren't,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: you know, ready for that conversation. So, to be having
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: this conversation with these kids and their parents aren't present,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: probably wasn't the best idea. You know, he was, I don't, hmm, girl.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Because you don't need to be sitting in a school
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: with kids that.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Black kids, majority. It looks like the classroom was full
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: of black kids. I saw like a lot of Hispanics. Yeah,
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: but for the most part, it was black boys. I
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: did see a little Hispanic boy in there. So it's probably...
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: And they were the most vocal, the black boys. But yeah,
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: if you say... He didn't say he was prejudiced. He
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: said he was racist. And it was that word that
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: was triggering for me. Like, racist? Right.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: He did say he was racist.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm racist.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: You know, people adding white supremacists on top of that
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: and all that shit just have a negative connotation. But,
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, I might could be seen as a black supremacist. Yeah.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: A lot of black people could be seen that way.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: But I don't like to put labels on stuff in
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: that way. I'm definitely not racist. We're not in a
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: position to do anything really systemically racist to another group
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: of people at all.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I think I'm better because I'm black.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: I just think I'm better... And black at the same time. Period.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: Just happened to be that way. I'm sorry.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: And the black was just the icing on the cake
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: of all this better.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: And who's to tell another group of people they too
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: can't feel that same way. I feel like us being
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: that way in America is shunned on. A lot. Like
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: you can't display black power and proud to be black
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: without another group of people feeling like you oppressing them.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: When we are not in a position to oppress any
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: fucking body.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: But you know, I feel like white people might feel
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: like they can't have white pride.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: They do. It's a whole movement right now. Yeah.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, you feel like there's a white pride movement?
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: White men in particular feel like they no longer have
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: a voice in America. When y'all still like literally running shit.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Or are they?
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Because the shit we've seen in the last couple weeks,
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know who running what. What's happening? I don't know.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: But I think that any time going forward, black people
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: need to look at things a little bit more objectively
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: instead of having so much emotion. Because don't forget, even
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: though it's a black person and a black kid experience
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: who put this shit on the internet, the shit's still there.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: makes its way out there to to force us to
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: have all these emotions about shit just sit back and
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: be a fucking observer that's.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: It so how do you feel like if a white
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: person called you the n word with the hard er
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: or with the a on the end how would you respond.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: To that anybody saying that word to me um especially
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: a white person for sure you're going to get smacked
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: that's a derogatory word that they should not use. Yes,
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: we've found some type of way to make it a
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: positive thing because you got to look at where the
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: word actually comes from. Some people can... It's Niger.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I used to feel like you called me the N-word,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I'm going to punch you in your mouth, right? But now,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I'm in a space where I'd be like, ooh, burn.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: It don't have no power over me.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: The nigger, though? Try again, bitch.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: That don't hurt my feelings.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Even the E-R?
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like it wouldn't burn me no more.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like it has that type of power,
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: but it hasn't happened to me, so I can't speak
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: to that. I might be just sitting here saying, like, oh, bitch,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: that don't affect me. It roll off my shoulder like water,
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: you know, like, but I might be wrong. I might
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: take it to your motherfucking ass just out of.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: The trauma that's associated. Anybody using that ER, anybody using
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: that ER is going to be a problem for me.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: I've seen, when Kanye was, you know, all in the
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: news a couple weeks ago, I forgot who it was,
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: but it was a celebrity, um, But he tweeted, he said,
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: fuck you, nigger. What an ER. He tweeted that. It's
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: a black man.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong. I would not be okay with it.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: But I don't know if it would be powerful enough
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: to take me to be violent toward this ignorant person.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: You the real nigger.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? That's true.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: So I don't know.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: I'm still a WP, a work in progress.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: God ain't through with you yet, baby.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: I was watching SNL. Well, everybody's probably seen this SNL.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Dave Chappelle. I guess he did like, yeah, Stand Up Moment. recently.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: And it's, I mean, it's still relevant to what we're
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: talking about, about this teacher in Texas. He found a
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: real comedic way to have these uncomfortable conversations.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Like he always does, but.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: ADL is upset with him right now. Yeah.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying because everything is anti-Semitic at this point.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: I saw a video where they were literally listing all
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: the black people throughout history, you know, from civil rights
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: on down that were called anti-Semitic. Girl, everybody.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: Oprah.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Oprah was called anti-Semitic for having a Jewish family or
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: multiple Jewish families on her show one time. And they
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: were literally talking about how they secretly worship the devil
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: in the house. She got caught anti-Semitic for it, though.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: And these are Jewish people telling their truth.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's wild. Dave Chappelle made a joke that he said,
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: when Black people do it, they're gangs. When Italians do it,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: they're mob. And when Jewish people do it, it's a coincidence.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: And don't speak on it ever again.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: It's funny.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, if a comedian, we're just so sensitive. I mean,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: You can't even be humorous anymore. There was a time
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: when a comedian could make fun of anybody and it
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: would be okay because it's out of humor. Right. Not anymore.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: They about to cancel Dave Chappelle too.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Man, Dave Chappelle cannot be canceled. He's proven that multiple times.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: He just is battling the LGBTQ community last year. He
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: can't be canceled. But don't y'all think it's kind of
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: weird how we're laughing at it though? Why Kyrie and Kanye,
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: they're really going through some shit right now. but a
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: comedian can come out and have an audience that is,
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: you know, diverse, a diverse audience and everybody can laugh together.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: But these two black men, like we laughing at it,
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: but these two black men really going through it. The
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: truth that Dave Chappelle is now telling and y'all can
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: laugh at it because it's in a form of comedy.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: This shit is happening to black men.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Well, all right. We're laughing, but this just happened this week,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: you know, this Saturday. We ain't seen what they do
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: to Dave Chappelle. He might, Go through it, too. We're
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: going to see. Watch what happens. Watch what happens next.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: No, but why are we even going to watch what's happening?
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: The thing is, I feel like the only way that
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: outside forces could do anything to us is if some
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: people within our group are complicit. If everybody be like, no,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: y'all can't do that to him. Everybody got to be
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: like that, though. Y'all can't do that. But I don't
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: think everybody agrees.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Because when it comes to anti-Semitism... only a Jewish people
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: can decide what's hurtful to them, right? I can't tell
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: you that that's not a hurtful statement or that that's,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: you know, I can't tell you that.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: There's Jewish people actually right now trying to take down
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: the ADL. That's a real thing because they are essentially
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: extorting people at this point.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, that's similar to black people.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: And black lives matter. And you're proving what people are
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: saying by the way y'all are trying to punish them.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: You're proving what people are saying. You're proving the power
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: that you have Every time you come at somebody, you're
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: proving what people, what the joke is. You're proving the
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: joke is what I'm saying. Do you see what I'm,
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: do you understand what I'm saying?
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: So is it, is it even needed? Is it necessary?
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: Do we need a league like that?
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: We need something.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Instead of prayer.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: It's just not enough. Um, I also saw on Instagram
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: that 21 Savage said that Nas is not relevant. I
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: know they were on a clubhouse forum and they were
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: talking about what relevancy is and Nas's impact. And it
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: got into like a heated debate. And he says that
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Nas is not relevant. He only has his fan base.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Do you agree with that?
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: So, okay, we know we're talking about two different people,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: two different rappers from two different eras. Okay, 21 Savage
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: came up under the mumble rap era. I like 21 Savage.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: I can tell 21 Savage was raised by a man.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: You know, based on his conversation, I don't think that... So, okay,
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: so 21 Savage, Nas may not be relevant to 21
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Savage and 21 Savage's fan base, right?
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: But Nas is definitely relevant to a lot of people,
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: especially maybe our age group and older. And that is
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: one of the things that 21 Savage said. He was like,
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: you know, if I were to have a concert, I
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: came out in 95 and I have a concert in
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: 2022 and all of my fans from 95 came to
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: my concert. Does that really make me relevant or do
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: I just have a strong fan base? So I get that.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: But relevant to who?
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: And I feel like social media now, maybe it's Nas
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: is not relevant on social media as much as 21 Savages.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: But if you have a strong fan base that will
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: make you relevant, these people still alive.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: They ain't dead because they over 30.
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: So I think because we don't see Nas face plastered
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: on social media all the time like we see other people.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Or maybe when a Jay-Z does something that's a little
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: bit more profound. I don't know. But- I listened to Nas'
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: last album. I haven't listened to the most recent one
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: that just came out. But that last album was a
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: fucking hit. I don't know why. I still listen to it.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: I don't know why people ain't on it. Maybe it's
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: just because it's not their age group or maybe they
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: don't like the flow anymore. I don't know. But I
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: listen to learn things. That's why I like Nas' album.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a fan of Nas. I haven't listened to
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: none of his new shit. I'm ill-matic, still-matic, all that shit.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: But I guess you can be relevant to 40-year-olds. But
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of us.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: I mean, a lot of y'all.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Like, we dead? I ain't 40. I'm not 40.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: We neither. That's why I said y'all.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: Like, don't be adding on to my NAMM numbers. But Nas,
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: to me, Nas is relevant. Nas is so fucking fine.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: I like Nas. Like, I want to holler at Nas.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: I just think Nas might be, like, a little bit
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: socially awkward. You don't get that from him?
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: You don't know what to know about Nas, right?
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Right, yeah.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: But, I mean, he's in all things tech. Like, all
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: the things that young boys are doing, like crypto, all
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: these tech things. Like, Nas has all type of businesses,
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: all type of shit to make him relevant. So it
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: just depends on what's relevant to you. Because I don't
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: think Nas is going to ever not be relevant, especially
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: in hip-hop.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: That's some little nigga shit.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: But I mean, he not headlining no shows no more.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: I guess that's what he's meaning. Like these big ticket shows,
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Nas is not going to be a headliner.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: Do you think that this new album with Drake is
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: kind of helping 21 Savage's career?
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: Absolutely.
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: I listen to 21 Savage albums. I like 21 Savage
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: as a person. I don't necessarily like his music like that.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: I haven't listened to the album yet, though.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: You know, I like the album. I don't know if
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I'm the target audience anymore. Because he was talking about
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Tell me your Finsta. Show me who you really are.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, bitch, I'm too grown to have no Finsta.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: That line was not for me.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: No, but you know a Finsta is like you got
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: like a little secret account where you could be yourself on.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Right, but it's grown-ass women out here with Finstas.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, especially celebrities. They got to put on this image
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: as a celebrity. So what he's saying is, let me
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: see that Finsta so I can see the real you.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Bitch, be yourself.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: These bitches don't be being they self. so they you know.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Grown ass listen I thought Finsta was for bitches who's
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: hiding from they mama you hide from the.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: World yeah grow up yeah so they can comment and
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: say the shit they really be wanting to say to
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: people so basically that's a problem that's a problem that's
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: the first problem if you a grown ass woman and
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: you gotta have a Finsta you need to reevaluate your
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: life you out here faking.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: My page is my page you gonna get who I
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: am all day every day the same same person I
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: don't know.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I be wanting to say some shit and now
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: I want it to be my face on it. So
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: I can understand having a fence of it. Am I
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: about to go create one? I got several accounts, but
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: I'm not about to be using no shit as a fence.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: I just say that shit. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: I need me a fence because I just be saying
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: whatever the fuck I want under anybody post. If you
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: don't like it, go to church about it. Talk to
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: your therapist.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: All right, y'all.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: We're going to go to commercial, but when we come back,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: we have the amazing Kelvin Davis. He is the author
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: of Notoriously Dapper. He is a man who's all about
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: body positivity for men. And we really want to talk
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: to him because we want y'all to stop wearing them
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: shirts in the pool. Y'all don't need them t-shirts in
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: the pool. So come back and listen to Mr. Kelvin
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Davis so he can drop some jewels for y'all. We'll
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: be right back.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: We have a special guest on We Talk Back this week. Okay,
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: he's an SC native and he be putting that shit on. Okay,
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: we got the exquisite Mr. Kelvin Davis, also known as
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Notoriously Dapper. He's the founder and creator of Notoriously Dapper,
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: a super body positive style guide for men of all
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: shapes and sizes. And essentially you're out here killing it
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: because you're like the first black, big and tall model
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: for Gap and Target, Tarjay. Right?
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: Yes, ma'am.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Y'all welcome Mr. Notoriously Dapper to We Talk Back.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Kelvin Davis, thank you for joining us.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: Thank you guys for having me. Yeah, I'm excited.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: You feel good. You look good. God damn it.
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: I do, yeah. I feel good, you know. I'm sitting
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: here in my enchanted forest, as you call it.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: So, being a man from South Carolina, from Columbia, South Carolina.
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: For sure.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: You know that eating is like part of our culture.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: It's like entertainment. And gaining weight is part of our culture.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: You know, we like, we drench everything in butter in
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: the South.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: You know, And rice, rice go like, at my mama's house,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: you will order a pizza and it'll still be a
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: pot of rice on the table for whatever reason, I
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: don't know. So with that being said, do you feel
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: like men can feel like conscious about their bodies? Like
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: I feel like when we were growing up, they weren't allowed,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: like if you gained weight and you got big or whatever,
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: you weren't allowed to have like insecurities about your body
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: as a man.
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: For sure, yeah.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: You know, I noticed when I got to high school
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: really was when I started to feel like a little
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: bit of insecurity towards my body because I was surrounded
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: by like what the societal standard of male beauty was.
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: Because I like worked at Abercrombie. I worked at like Express.
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: I worked at all these stores in the mall.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: So every time like we would put up these ads,
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: I would be like, dang, none of these dudes look
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: anything like me. But there's dudes that look like me
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: coming here all the time that go shopping.
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: So. And then it was really around like my sophomore
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: year of high school when I started developing a lot
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: more stretch marks on my back and stomach. I started
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: to like be a little bit insecure, but I come
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: from a family where both of my parents are very
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: body positive and they're very much like, you know, love
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: who you are, love the fact that you're black, love
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: the fact that you're big, all these different things. So
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: around like my senior year was when I started to
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: feel a little bit more confident in who I was.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: And obviously like later on in life, you know, things
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: changed and I.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: Started to feel insecure again.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: But I do feel like being a man in South Carolina,
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: especially since our food, like you said, is so heavily
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: endowed in our culture.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: You know, with rice and, you know, grains and butter
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: and carbs, all this stuff. Right.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: And yeah.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: And don't ever go to big mama house, like trying
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: to like turn down some stuffing.
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: Or some rice because, because people get offended.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: And like, you know, God forbid you tell, tell them
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to watch my, I'm trying to watch my weight.
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: They'd be like, boy, sit your ass down and eat
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: this goddamn food. You know what I mean?
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: So it was one of those things where you have
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: to adapt to because you don't want to feel roasted
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: because even though you may feel bad about your body
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: in that moment, they'll make you feel bad for feeling bad.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: About your body. Right.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Like, boy, if you don't get to sit down and
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: eat these motherfucking pork chops, you've been eating this shit.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Our whole life. And don't put a little bit of
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: food on your plate either. You gonna get roasted for
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: that shit too. Right. Right. You want a diet, nigga?
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: You want a diet, nigga? Oh, goodness. I want to
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: talk about this blog. How did you start the blog?
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: So the blog, y'all, is notoriously dapper. How did you
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: come up with this blog? Tell us a story about it.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: So I went to USC, and I graduated with an
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: art education with a minor in oil painting. I got
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: my first job over at St. Andrews Middle School, which
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: y'all are probably familiar with being in the Columbia area. Um,
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: so when I got my first job, I wanted to
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: get like some stylist clothing, you know, look fresh to death.
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: Cause you know, like you said, I always get that
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: shit up.
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: So I went to go to the store to go
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: get like a red blazer and I asked for a
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: size 48 and they only had a size 42 that
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: was on a mannequin.
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: And I tried it on. I was like, this is
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: definitely not going to fit.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: So I asked the lady, I said, Hey, do you,
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: Do you have like a size 48 or maybe even
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: a 46? She was like, no, we don't have a
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: larger size. I said, well, can you check online? Maybe
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: check in another store. I'll drive to go get it
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: because it was just that fresh. And then she looked
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: me dead in my face and told me, well, maybe
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: you're just too fat to shop.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: No.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: What was she? Was she beige?
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: No, she was white for sure. Yeah.
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: I wish I was there with you.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: AJ liked the fight though.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: AJ liked the fight. Y'all went to jail.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: You might not even have your blog fucking with AJ.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: So after that, that was really my first time being
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: publicly body shamed. And I tell people this, I think
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: it hurt even more that it came from a woman.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: Because if it came from a guy, I would have
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: took it with a grain of salt being like, whatever,
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: nigga hating, whatever.
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: But like when it comes from a woman, there's obviously
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: a little bit of truth that's behind it. And then
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: I started to feel like, do women view me this way?
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: Like do women not view me attractive? Do they view
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: me as just like being like fat? Because I did
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: have gained a little bit of weight at that point.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: And I started to feel like really insecure. And I
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: was like, man, like I couldn't, like, and this was
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: a point in time in life. I had just had
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: my first daughter. So my daughter at the time was
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: about a year and a half, year, years old.
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: I had just gotten, um, and engaged to my now ex-wife.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: And then I was just like feeling very down, right?
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: And I was like, I can't shake this feeling. So
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: I remember going on Facebook and trying to type a
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: status being like, man, like black men need a safe
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: space to talk about how they feel. But then I
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: deleted it because I knew as soon as I posted it,
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: the comment section was going to be like, you soft.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: Get your ass. Go to the gym. Stop eating all this.
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean? So I knew it wasn't
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: going to be the same as if a woman did it.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: If a woman did it, other women would come on
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: there and be like, that's so shitty that that happened
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: to you. That woman should have never did all that.
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: But if I were to, as a man, especially a
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: black man, come on social media and vent about that,
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: people would be like, boy, if you don't get your ass.
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: There's plenty of other stuff for you to worry about.
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: worried about, right?
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: It's like y'all are not allowed to be vulnerable.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: Exactly, yeah. But I want to add now, because y'all
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: hear his story, and I always say this and I
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: get pushback. Is it women you couldn't be vulnerable with,
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: or is it men that you can't be vulnerable with?
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: The narrative is pushed that it's women that men can't
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: be vulnerable with. But, I bet you you had posted
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: that thing, maybe because this woman did do that to
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: you in store, but if you had posted that on
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: your social media, I bet you you would have gotten
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: the same response from women and you would have gotten
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: that negative response from men. So who can't you be
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: vulnerable with?
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: For sure.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Is it us or your homeboys?
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: It's definitely men.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: For sure. I mean, I feel like, I mean, cause
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: I mean, that just goes to show right then and there.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: Cause I was worried more about the male perspective rather
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: than the female perspective.
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: Cause I knew females understand.
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: Like body shaming, especially like they, and they will understand
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: how it feels to be insecure or to compare yourself
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: to somebody else. Right. But men, even though they do
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: do it, they feel like they don't want to talk
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: about it.
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: They're like, oh, I'm too gangster. I don't care about
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: my body.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you do. You care about your body. Even the dude,
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: what's his name? Bandman Kebo. Did he just get some
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: lipo done or something?
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: He got some ass.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: So it's like dudes are out there roasting him. It's like,
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: but dude, let that dude live his life. If he
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: was feeling some kind of way about his body- and
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: he wanted.
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: To do something to make himself feel good, let him
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: do it.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: I got a homeboy right now walking around here looking
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: like a bad bitch. He got the chisel arms. He
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: got his abs done. He got light bulbs.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, sure.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: Look, no, but she said the bad bitch. She just
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: did what we talking about, you know?
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: But he don't mind being called a bad bitch. He
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: don't care. It's funny because we know that thing, like
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: the surgery and stuff, is associated with bad bitches. Yeah, yeah.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: Right. Yeah. Because they're starting to call Kevo's transformation the
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: BB mail instead of, instead of the BBL, they call
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: it the BB mail, which I mean, I'm like, okay,
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: that's cool. But it's like a lot of men though,
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: are like checking in, like roasting this man. But it's like,
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: if you had the bread, if you had the money,
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: and if you had the chance to do it, you
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: probably would do it too.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: But just because you ain't got the bread and this
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: dude out here living his best life, you're.
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: Kind of hating on him.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: He just got a White Lives Matter tattoo. So I
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: don't know how much we can... Wait, really? Yes. And
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: who did he get tattooed on his body?
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos. No, no. Mark Zuckerberg.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was Mark Zuckerberg. Yes! In a White Lives Matter.
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: He got White Lives Matter tattooed on him?
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, nigga.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: He really did that. I would want to hear what
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: the thought was. I want to hear what the, like,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: is it supposed to be like funny? Or what was the, like,
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: I don't understand the psyche behind that tattoo.
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: Like, That's too permanent to be funny. God dang. Jeez.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: We can touch this judgment for real. For real, yeah.
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: For real.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So pretty much like after that, I like wanted
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: to start like a blog. You know what I'm saying?
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: Because I always wanted to start a fashion blog because
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: I always been into fashion. I always... was in, I
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: was always into art. So I knew how to take
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: good pictures. I knew how to pose good. I knew
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: what looked good in images and what didn't. So I started,
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: so I started this blog. I started in 2012, actually.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: And this was like before Instagram was like, you know,
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: it's thing that it is now. I created like a
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: similar Instagram profile, which I have like now, like the
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: same one. But it was pretty much just to help
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: promote what I was doing on my blog.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: And it was around, like, around.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: 2016, really, when, like, the women's movement got really popular
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: and started trending.
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: I guess. The body positive movement.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: Exactly, yeah. Like, the first plus-size woman for this and that.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: So after that, people, just from a natural curiosity point,
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: started Googling male body positivity. And when they did that,
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: my blog was the first thing that came up. So
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: just out of, like, societal, like, curiosity, curiosity, I became this,
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: this sort of like spokesperson or leader for like male
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: body positivity.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: So, all right, with that, I have a question. I
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: have a question about body positivity because some would say that,
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: you know, people are promoting unhealthy lifestyle by promoting body positivity.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: What do you have to say to that?
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: I have to say.
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: That I don't necessarily agree with any of that. I
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: feel as though if you are requiring people to be
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: a certain size whether it's big or small in in
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: order to feel good about yourself i feel like that's
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: unhealthy because i feel like everybody's built differently and i
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: would never weigh under like 230 pounds it's just not
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: possible if i did my mother would look would look
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: at me like.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: And like the black community let's go to the doctor yeah.
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: Like yeah like she would literally be like are you
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: sick you know what i mean so It's like there's
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: some people that just aren't built in that way. And
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: there are some people that I feel like take body
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: positivity to the extreme and they do things for clout
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: or they do things that necessarily aren't body positive and
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: they try to claim it as being body positive. And
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: I feel as though like body positivity is for all
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: bodies and all races because I feel like it gets
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: trapped in to like this curvy white woman mindset. And
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: when everybody thinks about body positivity, they think about a
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: curvy white woman. But it's like, why is that the
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: mold for what body positivity is? Because Lizzo, it should
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: be what body positivity is.
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: Too, you know?
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: Because she's very healthy. She lives a healthy lifestyle. I mean-
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: She can literally play the flute, dance, do all this stuff.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: And there's women that are half her size that can't
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: even walk up a hill.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: Exactly. And she be performing. You know what I mean?
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: She really performs and she really dances. For real. Yeah.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: So let me ask you this. Because you're a stylish
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: black man from Columbia, South Carolina. And Columbia... people might
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: think that, all right, South Carolina, country that can't dress,
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: but it's a lot of fly ass people coming out
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: of South Carolina, including us here talking right now.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: Of course.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: How did you turn this into money? Like how did
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: you monetize this?
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: So, so people don't, so from when I started my
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: blog from 2012 all the way to 2017, I did
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: all this stuff for like free. I didn't get paid
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: for anything. So I was buying my own clothes, my
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: own ties, my own hats, everything. And I was, just
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: showing different outfits. It wasn't until I went to New
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: York Men's Fashion Week in late 2016, almost 2017, when
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: I met a couple of other male bloggers. And they
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: were talking to me about how much money they make.
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: And they were like, you must make tons of money
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: because you're everywhere. And I'm like, I don't make any money.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: And these dudes are making like six figures. And I'm like,
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: how are you guys making this kind of money? And
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: they're like, well, whenever a brand like reaches out to
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: you and stuff, like if they offer you free clothes
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: to say no, they need to pay you compensation for
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: using your platform. And I'm like, you can do that?
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: And they're like, that's what you should be doing. Like,
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: aren't you making like, isn't this your job?
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: I said, no.
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: I was like, I am an art teacher. Like this
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: isn't my job. This is like a thing that I
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: do for like fun. And they were like, if you
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: care this much about it and you're creating this amount
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: of content for fun, Like, and we, everybody here thought
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: that you were getting paid for this stuff because your
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: stuff is great. Like, you know, so I'm like thinking,
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: and like in my head, damn, I'm not getting paid
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: for none of this stuff. So this company reached out
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: to me about a week after that. And they, it
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: was like a sweater brand called Ace Rivington based on
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: the Santa.
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: Barbara, California.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: And he wanted to send me his sweater and like me,
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: like take a few pictures of it and write and
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: write like a blog.
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: A blog post, and then.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: I'll post it on my Instagram and Twitter. And I
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: was like, let me just test out the water. So
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: I sent him my price. He was like, well, I'll
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: do it, but for this amount. And he was like, okay,
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: I'll pay you whenever you get the switch or just
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: send me a picture of it saying that you got it.
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: And then I'll send you the money. I was like, what?
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: So I'm like, damn. I'm like, you know what I mean?
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm like this middle school art teacher that's
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: barely making like $ 40, 000 a year. And this dude's about
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: to pay me almost $ 1, 500 for like this stuff.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: And I get to keep the shirt.
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Winning.
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: So I was like, okay, so this is how people
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: start to monetize this kind of stuff. So after I
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: did that a couple of times, I did it obviously like,
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: on my own. And then like the contracts got a
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: little more trickier and I had to like actually learn
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: how to read them and learn how to like, you know,
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: say you need to change this verbiage to this. Cause
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: there was one con contract that I signed with a
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: gene company based out of Oakland that basically if, if
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't have read it and signed it, they would
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: have like used my name and likeness all the way
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: to 2027.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: What?
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: But I, but like, you know, being like this, you know, teacher, like,
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: you know, like you're just happy to get extra money.
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: You're just signing everything. Right.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: So then I started to like something like, it was
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: almost like God told me, like God was like, hold on, brother.
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: Slow down.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: Slow down, baby.
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: Slow down. Slow down. It was like, yeah. It was like,
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: read this. Read this, brother. So I read it. And
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: I was like, send him an email. But I was like, hey, yo,
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: this doesn't sound right. Like saying that.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: Y'all can use my shit until like 2007, like 2020, 27.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: They're like, oh, it's supposed to be only for 2017.
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, right. I said, ain't no way y'all missed the
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: one and the two. Ain't no way.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: That was done on purpose.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: Y'all did that.
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, right? So then they sent it back. I signed it.
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: And then I like did it.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: And then around 2017, in the beginning of that school year,
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: so the 2017-18 school year was my last year teaching.
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: I signed with Bridge Models in 2017.
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: And then a week after I signed with them, Target
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: booked me as their first big and tall black male model.
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: And I went to New York and did it.
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: And it was awesome. And then I come back.
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: You know, it was really strange for me at first
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: because I'm still a teacher. I'm still teaching these badass
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: kids that don't give a fuck about anything that I
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: have to say or do.
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: They're like, Mr. Davis look like a milk gun, bald
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: ass kid. You know what I'm saying? Seriously, they were
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: always on my ass. They were always on.
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: Me, right?
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: Middle school kids roast. Roasting me.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: I know. like they will always roast me so I
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: was like I go from like being.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: This like model.
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah like this celebrated black male like target model this
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: and that and then I leave and come back to
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: the classroom and they like you bald head motherfucker you.
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: Know what I mean I'm like come on.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: Y'all I ain't paying shit.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: I mean like come on y'all and then Around Thanksgiving
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: was when a lot of my students started to see
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: some of my ads.
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: And they started to be like, yo, Mr. Davis, do
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: you have another job or something? I was like, no.
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: And then this girl, one day, she had a Target
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: catalog come to her house. And she brought it in
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: the classroom and was like, y'all, look at Mr. Milk
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: Dirt up in Target and stuff. So I told them,
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: I lied to them and told them that I had,
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: I had a twin brother. So they're like, oh shit,
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: like you got a twin brother? I said, yeah, his like,
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: his name is Kevin. Like we look just like, obviously
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: because we're twins, but that's not me. And they, and
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: they're all like, oh damn.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: So around like, around like, March of 2018, I was
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: about to like, it was two months before I didn't
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: sign my contract to come back. One of my sixth
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: graders was like, yo, Mr. Davis, so we like follow
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: you on Instagram, right? And every time that like you're
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: gone here, we noticed that like your twin is gone too.
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: Like your twin is always gone like wherever you are.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: But y'all never post no pictures together.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: Not Clark Kent at a classroom. I know, right?
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: I'm like, you know what? That dude don't make a
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: lot of sense.
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: And she was like, so we all came up with
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: the conclusion that you don't have a twin brother and
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: that's been you the whole time.
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: I said, yeah.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: Bye, lone niggas. Bye, lone niggas. I'm out.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right?
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And as much as they roasted me, they also
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: loved me, right? Yeah, loved me. So whenever I was
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: thinking about quitting I would ask them I asked them
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: around April I was like look y'all I'm thinking about
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: not coming back you know I'm going to miss some
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: of y'all some.
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: Of y'all won't miss you know what I mean I
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: will right and they were like yo Mr.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: Davis you always tell us to go after our dreams
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: so why wouldn't we encourage you to go.
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: After yours I was like, what? I thought y'all were
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: kidding me. You know what I mean? But then I
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: was like, wow.
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: I was like, and that really meant a lot to
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: me to hear sixth, seventh, and eighth graders go, we
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: want to see you win. Like, we want to see
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: you represent all the stuff that you've been teaching us
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: and all the things that you've brought us to do
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: and all the confidence you've given us. Because I was
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: like everybody's favorite teacher. Everybody would come. Man, I would
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: literally have kids skip class to come to art. Like
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: they would leave gym. I'm like, who doesn't want to
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: play basketball? They would leave gym and come to be
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: in my art class. I'd be like, you ain't supposed
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: to be up in here. They like, yo, just let
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: me hang out for like an hour or two.
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: I'm like, class is only 45 minutes, bro.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: An hour?
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: You know? It's still kind of like gym because I'm
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: making a paper mache basketball.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right?
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: Right? You know what I mean?
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: So, you know, in the past, men didn't, I guess,
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: really until your blog, as far as I'm concerned, or
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: until you, this personality now, didn't have like real live
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: representation for different body types, not as much as women do.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: So do you think that social media kind of helped
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: with that? Do you think social media played a big
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: role in... now men being able to do some of
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: the things that women do?
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, of course. Yeah, I absolutely do.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: Because I feel like if it wasn't for social media, A,
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't be as known.
• 42:44
  Speaker 4: As I am.
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: And a lot of people, like a lot of men
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: that follow me or look at my stuff, it's because
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: they see not only the positive interaction that I have
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: with women, but also with men.
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: And they're like, if this dude can be as vulnerable
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: as he is.
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: On social media, be a feminist and be pro all
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: this stuff and still be a man, I can do
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: this too. There's no reason for me to hide underneath
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: the shell of quote unquote black and masculinity. Nah, I
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: don't want to be that way because that's this and that.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: My daddy told me not to. not to be soft.
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: My mama told me da-da-da, boys don't cry. But I'm like,
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: as black men, and I honestly didn't even start going
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: to therapy until I got divorced in 2020. You know
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: what I mean? I was like, I need to go
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: see somebody because I'm about to lose my motherfucking mind.
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: I literally was going crazy, I felt like. So I
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: encourage not only men to love who they are as
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: far as body-wise, but to also take care of their mentals.
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: Because you can work out and be as physically healthy
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: as you want to, but if you don't work.
• 43:59
  Speaker 4: On that mind, if you don't work on that brain,
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: that body don't mean nothing.
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: You can have the biggest arms, the nicest body, or
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: you can feel as body confident as you want to.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: But if your mentals are not right, like if you
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: are narcissistic, you treat women bad, you gaslight, you be like.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: You are not... Yeah.
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: Like you are not a good guy. Like you can
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: look as good as you want to, but if you
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: don't treat people nice, it's not great. And I live by,
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: I live by this motto. It's nice to be important,
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: but it's most, but it's more important to be nice.
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: And I really, I live by that in my everyday
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: life because it's like, it's nice for me to be
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: important to people and people be like, you know, Kelman's
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: doing this stuff.
• 44:44
  Speaker 4: I love it.
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: I love to see it. But it's more important for
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: me to be nice to other people and to show
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: other black men love.
• 44:51
  Speaker 4: And I'm very adamant.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: You can't be a gentleman if you're just a whole
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: asshole out here. That's what I was going.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: To ask about. You have tips to be the modern gentleman.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: And that sounds like one of them. Do you have
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: any others that you could just share with us?
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 45:07
  Speaker 4: I do.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: So for those listening, I do have a book. It
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: was NAACP Image Award nominated book.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: Yes. I was nominated for Most Outstanding Literature 2017, but
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: I lost to Oprah.
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: Shout out to Oprah.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: If you lose to anybody, let it be Oprah.
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: I know, right? Strong.
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I tell men that you have to be,
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: you have to define what a man is for you, right?
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: And if being a man for you is being gangsta
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: and you know, doing all this stuff and bad mouthing
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: people and living a lifestyle that necessarily could get you
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: in a lot of trouble or could hurt people around
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: you or even hurt yourself.
• 45:54
  Speaker 4: You're not really a gentleman.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: I mean, you, I mean, you can dress like a
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: gentleman and I like start off my, I started, I
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: started off by telling people that, you know, a gentleman
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: back in the 1920s could be a guy that could
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: wear a certain tie and still beat his wife. be racist, like,
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: hang people, be... He could even be as far as
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: go and be a part of a Klan meeting and
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: still be considered a gentleman, right? So I write this
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: in my book, and I'm like, we need to redefine
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: what a gentleman is, because all these men out here
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: just think it's about dressing up.
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: Exactly, the clothes and the costume.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: Because they shit general about that.
• 46:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Because it's like.
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because like you can dress nice and then take
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: a woman out on a date and then, you know,
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: you be nice to her until she doesn't give you
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: what you want. And then all of a sudden you
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: turn into somebody that you.
• 46:55
  Speaker 4: Should never even be.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: All that gentle shit go out there.
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: And it's like, hold up. Like, who the fuck are you? Like,
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: first of all, that's somebody's daughter. Like that's somebody's like
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: that's somebody's everything. And you don't be talking to people
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: like they don't have no sense because you brought them
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: crab legs.
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: Like, who the fuck are you? You know what I'm saying?
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: Talk about it. Seriously.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like, these dudes really be out here, like, be like, oh,
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: I bought this girl.
• 47:20
  Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, nigga, well, next time, don't buy it.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: And we be eating, like, drug dealers by ourselves. Like,
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: we be pulling up. Yeah. Right. By our fucking selves.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: Eating all the crab legs.
• 47:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: By myself.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: I mean, thank you for the crab legs, but don't
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: act like I owe you something because they want you
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: to pay in pussy.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: The fuck?
• 47:42
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: And it's like, dude, like she can pay you in conversation.
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: She can pay you in other forms. How do you
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: not know that if you go out somewhere else, like
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: if you go out on another date, she might pick
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: up the tab.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 47:57
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: It's very transactional in that way.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Breakfast and holidays, I got you. Breakfast and birthdays, I
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: got that shit. I got lunch. I'm not about to
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: just be going to my pocketbook on a date. No.
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel you.
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: Honestly, sometimes I will.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: I have.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: Just to prove a point.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: I have. Especially if I sense from the person that
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: you think I owe you Like, I got to pay
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: you back and put you tonight. I might go ahead
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: and pay for it, and I just won't talk to
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: you no more. But that's what I would do.
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I do it just because I feel like being nice,
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: you know? Honestly. Not like a... Typically not a first
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: date I'll pay, but... Right.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: I might.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: Let's say we go out, and I'd be like, you
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: know what? I got it this time.
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if I invite you.
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: So what's dating like?
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: So.
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: So I was married for 10 years. So I haven't dated...
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: I mean, so what's dating like now?
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: It's scary.
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: I bet it is.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: Zero stars would not recommend.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: Ghetto. Okay.
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: It's definitely hard. Yeah. It's a different world because sometimes,
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: you know, a lot of men do treat it very transactional. Like,
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: especially if they go take you to a nice place
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: and the tab is expensive. They do feel like, you know, damn, I,
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: I showed you this nice town. show me a nice
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: time back and it's like damn i thought i was
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: telling all my.
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: Best jokes.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: Right i thought we both had a good time why
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: do you need to come up to my house at
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: this point like and i feel like I don't know
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: if it's the young girls and y'all can correct me,
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: young ladies, if y'all wrong, but y'all is giving up
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: the pussy fast. Like y'all really changing the game. So
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: it's like people think that that is what is supposed
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: to happen now. Like you need to sleep with someone
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: instantly after going on a date.
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 49:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's crazy.
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: I think most men, if the problem is their coin, right?
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: They don't want to feel like they're getting finessed, but
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: you don't, why are you dating or taking 10 different
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: women out in a month? You know, pick a couple
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: and then it won't hurt your pocket that much because
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: what they're concerned about is how much they spent on you, right?
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: So now you're not giving up nothing. I didn't spend
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: all my money. But date with discernment. Date with purpose.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: And you won't feel like you're getting finessed. You won't
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: be taking all these different people out because everybody shouldn't
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: be worthy of your coin. But if your goal at
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: the end of every date is to get pussy, that's
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: why they mad.
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: For sure.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: And then aren't there websites for that?
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: Go to those Grindr and all these different websites.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: They want regular women to do bullshit.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 50:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: But then it's like the same dudes that don't want
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: to respect a woman whenever she gives it up. It's like,
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: I can never wife her up. But it's like, dude,
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: you live like a double standard. It's like, do you
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: want to take this woman out on a date and
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: get to know who she is so you can eventually...
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: see her as a potential partner, or are you just
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: trying to get some wisdom? If that's the case, then
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: you don't need to take nobody out on a date.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: I had a guy tell me over the weekend that
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: out of 60 women, 57 of the women that he
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: dated was just for sex. And maybe three of them
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: were potential girls.
• 51:20
  Speaker 4: I got to take my glasses off for that. Hold on.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: I really clutched my pearls. I was like, oh my God.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: 60? 60?
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: He told a group of women. And he said that
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: was common for most men that typically it's just about
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: the hunt. And maybe two or three of the women
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: that they date in their life is really for real relationship.
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: And everybody else is just about, you know, a man's
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: desire to have sexual relationship with someone. And that's it.
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: I can see that from some men's point of view,
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: but I feel like a lot of those men need
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: to go to therapy.
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: Like, 100%.
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: I honestly can say therapy, like, and I know in
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: the Black community, it's like, look down upon us. Like,
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: we don't go to therapy. Like, pray about it. Like,
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: that's what my grandma used to always say. Pray about it, baby. Pray, yeah,
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: about it. But I'm like, sometimes God busy.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: Like, sometimes God busy. Sometimes God like, you need to go.
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: You need to go to somebody else for this.
• 52:24
  Speaker 4: Exactly. You know what I mean? So therapy for me
• 52:27
  Speaker 4: has really.
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: And I really encourage not only all men, but especially
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: Black men to actually go because, I mean, for me,
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: the recent, like, trauma with Black men being killed by
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: the cops and takeoff staff really, honestly, really, like, really hurt.
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: Me a lot. Like, I'm not going to lie.
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: Like, a lot of, like, a lot of the other rappers' deaths,
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: you know, like, you know, didn't bother me as much because,
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: you know, I wasn't allowed for Pac.
• 52:54
  Speaker 4: I wasn't allowed for Biggie. You know what I mean?
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: I was alive, but I didn't know who they were.
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: Like I wasn't like a teenager. I wasn't, do you
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: know what I mean? But Takeoff and the Migos to
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: me was like everything. It's like, that's what all my
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: students would listen to. And like, we were always playing
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: stir fry in the classroom. Like we were like, you know,
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: so like whenever he passed, to me, it really, really hurt.
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: It really, it really did. And I really, I like
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: cried for like a couple hours because I was really hurt.
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: And I feel like a lot of black men, don't
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: want to talk about that. Like, they don't want to
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: talk about how something like that can hurt them.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: Affect them.
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 53:33
  Speaker 4: Because, you know, we look at George Floyd, we look
• 53:35
  Speaker 4: at all these things, and it does hurt us.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like Black men are comfortable talking about
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: any pain.
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: You know, any kind of pain, especially emotional. I don't
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: think y'all are.
• 53:46
  Speaker 4: No.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: No, you are right.
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: Like, especially, I mean, I have a cousin who's pretty
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: much like my brother, because... His mom, you know, like,
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: didn't do her thing, you know, raising him and stuff.
• 53:59
  Speaker 3: So my parents raised him. And we're, like, brothers. And
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: he just recently started going to my therapist about six
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: months ago.
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: But he was, like, the same kind of guy.
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: Like, you're always fucking this and fucking that and doing
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: this and doing that.
• 54:16
  Speaker 4: I'm like, nigga, you need to comment.
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: You really need to unpack what's really feeling, how you
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: really feel about things.
• 54:25
  Speaker 4: Because emotional intelligence will change who you are.
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: Because once you can realize that you're not angry, that
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: you have anxiety instead of being angry, or that you're
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: nervous instead of being angry.
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: Because for me, it was like all these emotions were,
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: to me, anger. Because I would just feel something. I'm like,
• 54:46
  Speaker 4: I'm angry. It was either anger or sad.
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: I didn't realize that anxiety, nervousness and depression, like all
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: these different aspects of like.
• 54:55
  Speaker 4: How I was feeling.
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: Or just expressed through anger.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: A lot of, oftentimes.
• 55:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Like I would just be mad. I'd be like, wait,
• 55:02
  Speaker 4: but I'm really feeling nervous.
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: I'm really feeling nervous about this outcome.
• 55:07
  Speaker 4: I'm not really, I shouldn't be angry. You know what
• 55:10
  Speaker 4: I mean?
• 55:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So with the blog, because I know we mentioned
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: toxic masculinity briefly. So, I went to your blog. It's
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: a really, really nice blog. I suggest everybody to go
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: check it out.
• 55:22
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really nice. You know, it tells you, like,
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: shit to pack. And it's all kind of, like, manly things.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: It was talking about... Like, I just saw some information
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: about acne. And I was like, ooh, because, baby, my.
• 55:34
  Speaker 4: Chin is burning up bad.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: My nephew just started high school. And over the summertime,
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: I'm like, listen, I'm going to send you some stuff.
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: Because he had really bad acne. And, like, you don't
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: want to go into high school with that.
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: Like, I.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: possibly could have been a little mean girl a little
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: bit in school but it was just like the thing
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: but I wanted to make sure I wanted to make
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: sure like you know he cleaned up his image AJ
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: was roasting niggas I'll work the stand up comedy for
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: that ass okay but people used to come to me
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: I just you know my shit hit a little bit
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: harder it's just different But I sent him like some,
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: you know, some products to make sure he can start
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: working on his skin. My sister ended up taking him
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: to a dermatologist, though. But y'all check out the website.
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: But let's talk about check out his blog. So let's
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: talk about the toxic masculinity for a second, because did
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: anybody actually ever tell you that you couldn't express your feelings?
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: I know people say that. Oh, my teacher did this.
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: They rap about it. My teacher told me I wasn't
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: going to be shit. Does that really happen? So how
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: does it really develop?
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I would say, luckily for me, both of
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: my parents have never done that. They've always been very
• 56:49
  Speaker 3: much like, express how you feel, say how you feel,
• 56:52
  Speaker 3: it's okay to cry, like all these things, right? It
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: was more of like the outside society, like teachers, friends, counselors, like,
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: you know, the people that watch me at daycare, you
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: know what I mean? That would tell me, boys don't cry,
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: like man up or, you know, I had, I honestly,
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: so this is a funny story. So at Irmo, I
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: had a guidance counselor and she was my freshman year
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: guidance counselor. And I'm not gonna lie, like seventh and
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: eighth grade, I was fucking around. Like I did, I
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: made terrible grades. I was like, I mean, I'm not
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: gonna lie to you. I just wanted to possibly, I
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: was trying to find out how to have sex.
• 57:34
  Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie.
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: I was like, I was really out there like exploring sexuality.
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: I was just a horn dog, right? So I was
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: not focused in school in any kind of way. So
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: my freshman year, you know, we like get there and
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: like the lady is going over my transcript from Irma Middle.
• 57:51
  Speaker 4: And she's like, oh, my God.
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: She's like, you need to be in these classes because,
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: you know, your grades were terrible. So obviously, you know,
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: you're very much underperforming and you cannot be in these
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: grade level classes.
• 58:06
  Speaker 4: I'm like, bitch, I'm smart. I can do whatever I
• 58:08
  Speaker 4: want to. I'm just horny.
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 58:09
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: So I'm like, so I'm sitting in like these classes. Yeah.
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: So I'm like in these classes, like I'm like, I
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: know all this stuff. I'm like surpassed this. Right. So
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: I'm doing like this lower level work, knowing that, you know,
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: this stuff is like elementary to me. And I went
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: back to her. And I was like, yo, I think
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: I need to be bumped up to other classes. Like
• 58:36
  Speaker 3: this stuff, this is way too easy. Like I need algebra.
• 58:40
  Speaker 4: I need geometry. I need other stuff.
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: And she's like, you know, you are lucky. I, I,
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: I basically even put you in his classes because I
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: was about to call Irma middle and tell them to
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: retain you another year.
• 58:52
  Speaker 4: It's like, excuse me.
• 58:54
  Speaker 3: She was like, you will be lucky if you ever
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: make it to a four year institution, you'll be lucky
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: if you ever make it out of high school.
• 59:01
  Speaker 4: Right? So I go home. I'm like, mama. She's like, well,
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: I'm like, you won't believe what the lady told me.
• 59:06
  Speaker 4: She's like, what?
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: I'm like, this lady told me I'll be barely like,
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: I'll be lucky if I even make it out of
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: high school.
• 59:13
  Speaker 4: And my mom was like, oh, God damn. So, you know,
• 59:16
  Speaker 4: my mom went up there.
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: We had a conversation and this lady was so bold.
• 59:22
  Speaker 3: She said the same thing in front of my mama.
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: She didn't even back down. She looked at my mom
• 59:27
  Speaker 3: and said, Mrs. Davis, I'm going to be honest with you.
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: I will be very shocked if your son ever makes
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: it out of high school. The way his grades look,
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: the way he came in here, entered. I mean, it's
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: almost like he takes everything as a joke, this and that, right?
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: So fast forward, right? I get my first teaching job.
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: And guess who the guidance counselor is?
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: That same lady.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: Ooh, the same lady.
• 59:51
  Speaker 4: The same lady.
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: I would have been trying to get her ass up
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: out of that school.
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: What'd you say? I'm like, you owe me an apology.
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: I didn't notice her until about the third week of school.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 3: And I was looking at her because, you know, like
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: time had changed. She got a little older and stuff.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 3: And I was like, are you Miss Such and Such?
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 4: She was like, yeah.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: I was like, probably don't remember me. I was like,
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 3: you used to be a guidance counselor at Irma, right?
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 4: She was like, yeah.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: I said, you probably don't remember me because I was
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 3: thinking that she probably said this to like a lot
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 3: of kids, right? And I was like, you told me
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: that I would be lucky if I even made it
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: out of high school and this and that.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 4: And she was like, I do remember you.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: I said, well, not only did I make it out
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: of high school, I made it through college and I'm
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: here teaching art.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 4: And she was like, oh, okay, really? Do you know
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 4: what I mean?
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 3: And it was like one of those moments for her,
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: like I cannot continue saying this stuff to kids.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: And parents.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and parents, right?
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: Like I cannot continue doing this because I have this
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 3: exquisite college graduate of a black man here teaching the
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: same kids that come to me for counseling. And I
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: told him he wasn't going to be shit.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: And then imagine how many other people that she told
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: that to.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 4: I know, right? I know, yeah.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: And imagine how many students believed it.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: Plenty.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: But for me, I luckily had parents that were like,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 3: you can do whatever you want to. And I had
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: parents that always told me, go after whatever you want to, right?
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: Because I had like a lot of kids whose parents
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: were like, If you want to go to school for
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: art or fashion, I'm not paying for it. Ain't no
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: black man going to be an artist and this and that. Like,
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: you need to go play sports and all this stuff, right?
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: So for me, I was lucky enough to have parents
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: that really just embraced who I was as a person
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 3: and did not try to mold me into what society
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 3: or what they think I should be. Right. Yeah.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: Was this woman black or white?
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 4: She was black.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. It was a black one.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 4: Yes, man. I know, it was socky, right?
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: No, I kind of figured she was black. And she
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: probably felt.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 4: Comfortable saying that to you.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: And that's why she felt comfortable saying it to your
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: mom because it's like family.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: Saying it to your mom.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: In her mind, it's like family.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: But no, bitch. You can't tell my kid that.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: Right, don't do that. Yeah. Right, a guidance counselor is
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: supposed to- Guide. Give hope to these kids.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 4: Exactly, yeah.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like- you fucking up now, but you can be better,
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 4: Exactly, yeah, right?
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: And like, she never once told me, it's like, if
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: you try a little harder and get this great, you know,
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 3: I'll bump you up. She was basically like, nah, you
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: ain't it. You'd be lucky if you even make it
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: to senior year.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: And it was around my junior year was when she left.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: So she never got to see me graduate because I
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: feel like if she was still there whenever I graduated,
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: she might have, you know, said something to me and
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 3: been like, you know, I want to, you know, but
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: I never, I never saw her again until I became
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: a teacher. Wow.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 4: And I felt like that was God's plan in some
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 4: kind of way.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: Well, so what, for now, what is the modern gentleman now?
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 3: What is the modern gentleman to me as somebody that is,
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 3: so I tell people that you, you don't have to
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: agree with what everybody does. Right. Right. You can have
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: your own views and your own way of how you
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: were raised and your own morals. It's okay to not
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 3: agree with everything that the world presents to you and
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: tells you that you're supposed to be okay with. But
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 3: the modern gentleman just understands that even though people don't
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 3: necessarily agree with everything, the same morals, because you can be...
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: You cannot agree with gay marriage and not be homophobic. Right.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 4: Right. Like there's a lot.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: Right. Like you can like you can believe that marriage
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 3: is supposed to be between this and this. But you
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 3: don't have to be homophobic and be angry and transfer
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: that energy in a negative way and tell people how
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: they should live.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 4: And be nasty, right?
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: You can have your own beliefs and agree to disagree,
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: but live your own life, right? And that's what I
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: feel like being a gentleman is, a modern one is,
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 3: is understanding that I feel this way, but I can
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 3: also understand how this person feels this way. And I'm
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: not mad because I do what's best for me and
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: they do what's best for them. But I don't think
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: the modern gentleman should be transphobic, homophobic, anti-feminist, anti-Semitic. Like
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: you shouldn't hate any group of people. You know what
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: I mean? You should look at them like, I wouldn't
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: do that. And if it was up to me, if
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: somebody did that to me, it might be something different.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: There's been plenty of times where I am a modern gentleman.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 3: I do conduct myself as such, but I will not
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: tolerate disrespect, especially in a public place. So if anybody
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: were to ever you know, try to use intimidation or
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 3: try to use or try to, you know, racially attack me,
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: it's game time.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: That real nigga from Columbia, South Carolina gonna come out like,
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: hold on, y'all got me fucked up.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like it's game time.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 3: So I don't want people to think that the modern
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: gentleman is like this soft man that disagrees with everybody
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: because a modern gentleman agrees and disagrees and understands and
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: loves people and respects people's opinions because but he also
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: does not tolerate disrespect. He also protects what's important to him.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 3: And if violence were to ever be the ultimate outcome,
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 3: that's just what it has to be. Yeah, because I
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 3: always conduct myself as such, but if I'm with both
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 3: of my daughters and somebody disrespects my oldest daughter, who's
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 3: in middle school, but she looks like she's in high school.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 4: Somebody says something to her that's disrespectful.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 3: Do you really think as her father, I'm going to say, Listen, man,
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 3: I understand where you're coming from.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 4: We're not going to talk like that.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: No! Fuck no!
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 4: Who are you talking to, bro? It's game time. Don't
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 4: you ever talk to my kids in that way ever again.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 4: She is not only a female, that is my daughter.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 4: She's 11 years old. Are you trying to get fucked up?
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: Right. I think a lot of times people only respect
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: the people that they know and love. That's why it's
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: so easy for you to go out and disrespect somebody
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: else's mom, sister, daughter.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: But if we look at all black people like, that's
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: my sister. You know, maybe we should get rid of
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: the word nigga. And just replace it with brother and sister.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: For real, because it just gives this different thing internally
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: for us.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 4: Exactly, yeah.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: But you know what? I have embraced, not nigga, nigga
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: in a way that's like, It's a term of endearment
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: for me when I'm amongst Black people. I feel you
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: on that, yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 3: I mean, definitely when I'm with other Black people, I
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 3: say nigga all the time.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 4: I mean, I'm not going to cap. I say it.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean? I'd be like, nigga, please.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? But if I'm in a
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 3: public space, I am more cautious of how I use it.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 3: And I do call people brother whenever I see another
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: guy be like, yo, brother.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying?
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: Like, brother.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 4: My brother.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 3: But it's like, for me, like the modern gentleman has
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 3: to always be, you always have to be kind no
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 3: matter where you are. Like your initial thought process is
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: no matter how I'm feeling, somebody else is probably dealing
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 3: with worse, right? And you, and whenever you leave your bubble,
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 3: whenever you leave your car, wherever you leave your house,
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 3: you not, you not only have to be on guard,
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 3: but you have to be kind to everybody else around you.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 4: Because it can just take one thing.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 3: For you to be in a bad mood and you not,
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 3: and you bump into somebody and you have words and
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 3: And that could be the end of your life, dude.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 3: And I think about this a lot. I'm like, dude,
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 3: I really want my daughters to not have a dad because.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: Somebody cut you off. Somebody cut you off.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 3: It's like small things like that, you should let it
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 3: go because chances of you seeing that person again in traffic,
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: very unlikely. Boy, there's no real easy way to say this,
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 3: but look You're a simp.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: Simp. All right, so we have this segment on our
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: show called Simp Series.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 4: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right,
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 4: all right.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: So we want you to share with us a tale
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: of when you got played by a woman.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: Like, what happened?
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 3: Oh, Lord.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 4: Ooh, Jesus. Okay. Bet. All right.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 3: All right. All right. All right.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 3: So in college, I definitely got played. So I was
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 3: dating this girl. She was from Russia. So there was
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 3: like a little bit of like a language barrier, like
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 3: a little bit, a small one. Like she was, Like
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 3: she had just come from Russia about maybe a year in,
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 3: a year into the States. And she was a little
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 3: fluent in like English, but like she was getting better
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 3: and stuff, right? Like there was still certain terms that
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 3: she didn't understand and stuff, right? So there was, there
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 3: sometimes I put the fact that she played me on
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 3: a language barrier, but that shit wasn't it.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 4: That bitch knew what she was doing, bro. You know
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 4: what I mean?
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 3: Like she knew what she was doing, right? So I
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 3: dated her for about a year and a half. And
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 3: during the time I was dating her, you know, we
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 3: would always eat lunch at the Russell House, which if you,
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 3: are you familiar with it? Yeah.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 4: So we would always eat lunch there, right?
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: And she was always very particular about a certain time
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 3: that like we had to eat because she had class, right?
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, all right, all right. So we can
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 3: go there, right? So we go there and we eat
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 3: and she's like, all right, I have to go. I
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 3: got to go to class, dah, dah, dah, dah, right?
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to, finish up here.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 3: And she's like, well, how long are you going to
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 3: be here? Because don't you have to go to your
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 3: class too? I'm like, why is she so pressed about
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 3: what I'm going to do? Like she has to go
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 3: to class, right? So I'm sitting there eating and I'm
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 3: not thinking anything about it because I actually believe that
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: she's in class, right?
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 4: Like I believe she's like really in class.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 3: So I go to McMaster to my art class and
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 3: my art professor had canceled class. So I'm like, all right,
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 3: I'll just go walk around campus for a little bit
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: and buy some time until my other class starts. And
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: I go on the horseshoe, and I see this girl
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 3: on a blanket on the horseshoe on top of a
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 3: man kissing him, right? So I'm like looking at the thing.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 3: I'm like, is that Natalie over there? I'm like sitting
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: on the couch. I'm like, no, she said she had class.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 3: That can't be her, right? So I text her, right?
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: That's my twin sister.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: Right, right.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 4: So I text her, right? And then I watch her
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 4: look at the phone and she puts it up. I'm like.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: Ooh.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 3: Ooh.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: Ooh.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay. I know that hurt. That hurt.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it really, really did, right?
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 3: So at that point, you know, most guys would have
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 3: went up to her, confronted her then and there, right?
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 3: I was like, let me see. if I ask her
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 3: about it, what she says, right? Because I just want
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 3: to see if she's going to lie to me. Obviously,
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 3: I know she's going to lie to me, but what
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 3: is she going to actually tell me, right? Because I
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 3: was just curious of where her mindset was going to
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 3: actually be. So later on, she texted me at like
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 3: nine something at night. It's like, oh my God, it's
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 3: been such a busy day. I'm like, oh, okay.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I bet. You know what I mean?
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 3: I'm like, so how was your class? She was like,
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: it was great. Like I got so much work I
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 3: have to do. Listen, now, I said, were you at
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 3: the Horseshoe today? Like, during, like, after, you know, after
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 3: we had lunch? She was like, Horseshoe? I said, like,
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 3: question me, like, Horseshoe? I said, yes.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, my English is bad. I don't have the horseshoe.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 3: I'm like, yes, the horseshoe, like the place that has
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 3: grass that you hang out with and stuff.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 4: And she's like, oh, no, no, no, right? So I'm like,
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 4: fuck it. I call her, right? I call her immediately.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 4: I'm like, she's like, oh, what's wrong? I said, Natalie, listen.
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 3: I was like, I saw you at the horseshoe on
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 3: a blanket with another dude. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 3: I'm like- No, that was you. And I like, I
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 3: felt so played. Cause it's like, she met all of
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 3: my roommates, my friends. And it's like, I gotta tell
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 3: my friends like, bro.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 2: It's a Russian whore.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I was like, bro.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 3: I was like, girl is really out here like dogging me.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 4: Like she really out here like doing me wrong. You know?
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: Oh goodness.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: I'm glad it wasn't a white woman that did it. Yeah.
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 4: And honestly, like, I honestly, like, luckily for me, I
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 4: wasn't in love. You know what I mean?
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 3: I kind of just was like, like, even though I
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 3: dated her for like a year and some change, I
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 3: wasn't like in, in, in, in love with her. So I,
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 3: I was a little upset, but at the end, but
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 3: at the end of the day, I was like, now
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 3: I can truly live the college experience.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 4: And I can, I can be the, I can be
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 4: this college boy.
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: The ho I want to be.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 4: Exactly, right? Yeah, exactly.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: You can be the guy you were trying to be
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: in seventh grade getting them bad grades.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, right? I love it.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 2: All right. Listen, Kelvin, I really, really enjoy it. You
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 2: had any more questions, Tam?
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: No, I was just going to ask him to just
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: leave our listeners with some advice, especially our gentlemen listeners,
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: our men who want to be gentlemen.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: What advice would you want to give them?
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 3: The advice I would want to give them is to
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 3: be who you are and do not feed into what
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 3: your friend group or what other men are. define as
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 3: being masculine. And it's okay for you to have feelings.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 3: It's okay for you to be who you are. And
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 3: it's okay for you to like the things that you do.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 3: It doesn't make you less of a man. It doesn't
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 3: make you less of a black man. It doesn't make
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 3: you any of that. And another thing I want to
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 3: leave people with is if you have a dream, and
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 3: I know people say this cliche thing all the time,
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 3: if you have a dream, follow it, do everything you can.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 3: But I really tell people, you really got to If
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: you really have a dream, you really got to do
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 3: that shit. Because the worst thing for me is that
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 3: if I would have never went after this dream, I
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 3: would still be somewhere teaching art, being probably cussed at
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 3: by somebody's mama, watching somebody else live the life that
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 3: I wanted to live. And that, to me, is the
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 3: most heart-wrenching thing. And I also want to tell the
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 3: last thing.
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 4: The last thing.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 3: If you think the price of winning is too high,
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 3: just wait until you get the bill from regret.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 3: Because that bill from regret will hurt you a lot
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 3: more than the price that you would ever pay for winning.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 4: Strong.
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: Amen. That was a jewel.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 4: You just got the jewel in your face.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: You got that out that book. Don't be a saint.
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: Can you tag your social media, tell us where to
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: find your book, things like that?
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 3: So you can find me on Instagram at Kelvin Davis,
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 3: all one word. My blog is NotoriouslyDapper.com. The book is
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 3: also called Notoriously Dapper, How to Be a Modern Gentleman
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 3: with Manner, Style, and Body Confidence. And you can find
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 3: me on Facebook at Notoriously Dapper and Twitter at Notoriously Dapper.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 2: Y'all listen, if you enjoyed this episode, please tune in
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 2: every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app or wherever the fuck
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: you get your podcasts at. This is your co-host, AJ
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 2: Holiday 2.0. Y'all follow me on Instagram. Check out our
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 2: new website. It's wetalkbackent.com. All that good shit. Make sure
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 2: you send in them sim stories. Okay? It's custom season
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 2: right now. Do that. Dumb bitch stories. Ask a black friend.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: All that good shit. What you got, Sam?
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: Y'all, it's me, Official Tambam. Y'all follow me on Instagram.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: I love y'all. Thank y'all for tuning in. Once again,
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: remember to speak now.
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 2: And never hold your peace. Deuces.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: Deuces.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 4: Bye.