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Leanne Cooper on Shattering Self-Doubt: Building Confidence for Career Success · Work It Like A Mum

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, i'm Elizabeth Willits and I'm obsessed with helping as many women as possible achieve their boldest dreams after kids and helping you to navigate this messy and magical season of life.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I'm a working mum with over 17 years of recruitment experience and I'm the founder of the Investing in Women, job Board and Community.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: In this show, i'm honored to be chatting with remarkable women redefining our working world across all areas of business.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: They'll share their secrets on how they've achieved extraordinary success after children, set boundaries and balance, the challenges they've faced and how they've overcome them to define their own versions of success.
• 0:43
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• 0:44
  Speaker 1: no way.
• 0:45
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• 0:49
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• 0:57
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• 1:07
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• 1:10
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• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Now back to the show.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to this week's Work It Like a Mum podcast episode.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Today I'm delighted to chat with Leanne Cooper, who's on a mission to help inspire people not to settle for less than they're capable of or deserve and realize that change is possible.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: And as a career and confidence coach, leanne helps her clients take aligned and actionable steps to get there.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: But Leanne was not always the confident woman you see today.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: In fact, leanne used to lack confidence and stayed in a role that she was unhappy in for 10 years because she felt she wasn't good enough to make the change.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Leanne has now been on a journey of self discovery and personal development and wants to help people that feel stuck in a job that's making them miserable and don't feel confident enough to make the change on their own, realize they're worthy of being happy at work, and helps them to take the steps needed to get there.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, leanne, for joining me today.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: It's absolute pleasure to chat with you, learn more about you and your experiences and obviously, more about your business as well and the journey that you've made to get from unconfident to confident.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me and thank you for the lovely introduction.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Now it's an absolute pleasure.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: So do you want to sort of rewind back to the job that you had and give people a bit of an overview, as you know, why it was making you miserable and why you felt that you couldn't make that change and why you stayed there for so long?
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: So I worked in a job for around 10 years and I did really well in that job.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: To be honest, i just I found that I was progressing and progressing and moving up the ladder and then it got to a point where I'd had my children come back to work after maternity leave and there'd been loads and loads of changes that had happened whilst I was away and I suddenly started feeling really self-confident, really like everything had happened and all these things have moved on, all these people have moved on, and I had been left behind, and it really knocked my confidence to the extent that I decided I didn't really like that job anymore, i didn't want to stay there anymore, and I knew that I needed to do something about it and do something different, but just didn't believe in myself enough to take those steps.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: So I just kept making do, kept settling for less, kept telling myself I'll get better when this happens, i'll get better when that happens.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: And it never did.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: And it got to a point where I realised that if I didn't actually take some action and make some changes, that I was going to look back in years to come and think why did you stay doing something that wasn't making you happy and I knew that I'd end up with a lot of regrets.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: So I decided that I was going to take some action.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: But I knew that I needed some help.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: So I got some help, started my own self-development journey and then, when I realised that change is possible and that you know you can overcome those challenges, you can build that confidence is possible to believing in yourself and have that courage to take action and started doing it for myself, it made me realise that I want.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: There were so many other women in a similar situation as I was.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: It was massively holding themselves back and staying in situations that they weren't happy with it.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: I just made a decision that I just was on a bit of a mission really to help as many women as possible to make the changes and not settle and not make do.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I think that's sort of good about.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people settle, don't they?
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: because it gets to a point where you think it's easy.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I've got part-time, maybe I can pick up the kids, or it's paying them all gauge, or you know, coasting.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Now I'm nearly I'm gonna be retiring.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: See, whatever it is, it is quite easy.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Change is hard.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: It's so, so hard, and the first step is the hardest bit.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's so easy to talk yourself out of it, like I was the queen of telling myself all these different stories about these excuses here.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah how things would get better, and making these excuses, and I used to say to myself oh, there's no point looking for another job doing something different.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: You won't find anything else, you won't get anything as flexible, you won't get anything the same money.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: And I limited myself massively.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: Rather than going and seeing whether there was anything else out there, i just basically told myself there wasn't and made myself stay stuck.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: And I believe that we all deserve unstoppable success and satisfaction in our life and our career, But that's not happening for a lot of women, and what really really drives me is the fact that I know that there's so many other women out there I speak to them in the work that I do that they're really, really capable, talented, amazing women, but they settle in for less than they're capable of or less than they deserve.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: And I know something that me and you definitely really agree on is that women shouldn't have to choose between a successful career and time with their family or time doing things that they love.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: But unfortunately, a lot of the time, we put our needs on the on the bat burner and we focus on everybody else.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: But it doesn't have to be that way.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: We can make ourselves happy and think about ourselves as much as we do other people.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: So when, when women come to you, why are they settling?
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: What are the reasons they're giving for why they're settling but feeling unhappy?
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: So in terms of the women that I tend to work with directly, so I work with women to help them become happier, more confident and more fulfilled at work, and I do that in two ways.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: So either with women directly, through one-to-one coaching or group coaching.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: But I also love to partner with forward thinking and inclusive organisations who make it a priority to elevate female talent.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: So I do that through workshops, training and keynotes.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: And there tends to be two different types of women that I support, whether it's with women directly or through organisations that I work with.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: So the first type of woman is one who's actually got the job that she wants.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: She's taken the action, she's got that promotion, but she doesn't feel confident.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: So it might be like the first time she stepped in a leadership position and suddenly she's there but she's not showing up with the authority.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: She's not confident in having those challenging conversations.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: She's sat in meetings thinking I need to say something, but she's scared to have those conversations with those senior stakeholders.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: So it's helping with confidence in that respect and finding your voice and stepping into your new role.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: So that's the first type of woman.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: And then the second type of woman that I tend to support is women who are ready for that next step in their career.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: So they want to either move up and get a promotion within the organisation that they work for, or it might be that they're wanting to move on and do a job somewhere else, but they're just massively holding themselves back and that those imposter thoughts are coming in and they're talking themselves out of it.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: So it's helping them to take the right action to be able to move forward and get that job that they absolutely deserve, but they're just getting in their own way of getting.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: So talk me through your journey.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: So you were obviously unhappy in your job and you mentioned that you took the first step and you sought help.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: So what did that help?
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: look like for you.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: So I remember it really really clearly.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: I was invited to a workshop at work and it was all around wellbeing and it was about mental toughness, and the person that delivered the session was a coach and that's the first time I'd ever met a coach or been in any sort of session like that.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: And we talked about what a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, and it talks about a palliative care nurse who looks after people at the end of their life, and the story the book talks about is that it doesn't matter who you are, what background you come from, whether you're male or female, we all tend to have these same, similar regrets at the end of our life.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: And it was going through what these Top Five Regrets were and I remember sitting there and thinking, oh God, if I don't do What were the regrets then?
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was things like I wish I'd let myself be happier, i wish I'd spent more time with my family and friends, all of these things.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: I was thinking this is going to be me, this is absolutely going to be me, and it was a bit of a light bulb moment for me and I thought, right, okay, i need to get some support And I started working.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: I was really curious about coaches.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: This guy blew me away.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: It was a really amazing session and I just started researching and finding out about coaching.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: But up until that point I thought about getting help.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I thought about getting support.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Then again I'd said to myself oh, you should be able to sort this out on your own.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: You're weak.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: If you're looking to get support, you should be able to sort this out.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: And I just thought you know what I'm struggling And if there's people out there that are qualified and experienced being able to help me, then I need to go and get that support.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: So it was scary and it was hard and it's tough in it to say put your hand up and say I'm struggling and I need some help.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I know that if I didn't do it, i'd end up having a lot of regrets.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, i started coaching.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: So you started being coached.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, i started being coached.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: I started sort of spending time thinking about myself and my future And life was just so, so fast-paced.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: You know what it's like You're working through the day, you're sorting out the children a night time.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: There's never really any time to stop and think.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: So I created that headspace with working with a coach, to just press pause and block out all the noise that was going on around me and just focusing on myself and what I wanted and what I needed to do in order to get there.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: And I just started on that journey from then And you were still in that job at that point, yeah, so I was still working and I decided that I was going to retrain to be a coach.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: I was doing both at the same time And then it was a pandemic, so it was super busy because I was working in my full-time job, i was training to be a coach or a studier, i was having practice coaching clients, homeschooling my kids, and so it was a pretty, pretty crazy time.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: But I'd made that decision.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: I'd made that decision that you know what I'm going to change.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go after what it is that I want And I think, for the first time in such a long time, put myself first, and normally I would have said, oh, do you know what?
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: There's so much going on, so I put the coach training to one side or I'll forget myself, development stuff.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: But I didn't And for the first time I was like no, i'm going to make.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: This is important to me And I'm important and I'm going to make this a priority.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I just just went from there like taking action, small steps, moving forwards, moving forwards, and I got to where I wanted to be.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: So how did you then?
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: so you'd obviously trained, qualified as a coach.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, at that point were you still working.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, i was still working and I found out that I was being made redundant.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: And they said to me yeah, do you want to look to be redeployed in another area Or do you want to take your redundancy?
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: And I thought, well, if I don't do it now and go all in and full time in this, i'm never, ever going to do it.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: So I just terrified me.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: I was absolutely frightened to death, but I just thought I'm going to go for it.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: And by this point I'd built up a good client base and I'd had some amazing client testimonials through and I just thought back yourself like, do it.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: And I did.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: I do know it's funny because I was made redundant, like you And like at the time, it's really frightening.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: She don't know what's going to happen And you worry that you're going to be like blighted by it.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: But, like you, it was the best thing that ever happened to me And it forced me to go all in.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: It gave me a bit of money to start the business and show me not loads, but a bit, and yeah, you know I use that money for this rather than something else.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: So I'm really pleased looking back.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: I was made redundant And I think a lot of people who have been made redundant feel like that when they look back.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you're absolutely right.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: I think it gives people the push to take the action, because a lot of the time we know what we need to do but we're just too scared to step forward and do it, Whereas the redundancy it gives you that push doesn't it to actually get going And that's a big thing that I talk about with clients is like don't wait until, like you're absolutely at breaking point, Like don't keep pushing yourself.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Don't keep pushing yourself.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: You take, take some action now, even if it's just a little bit, the tiny, small steps.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: Just keep moving forward and keep moving forward.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: So you mentioned you've obviously had my tentative.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: You came back and you'd felt you'd lost a lot of confidence.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, talk to what.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: what sort of comfort.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: How did you feel that you'd lost your confidence?
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: Because I think this will resonate with a lot of people- Yeah, so lots of stuff had changed for me, so the role that I did had changed.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: So there have been lots of different systems and processes and ways of working.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: So all that was different.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: So I'd gone from thinking I know this job inside out to this is like a completely new job.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm on a new planet.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like nothing's the same, Like everything's just so different.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: So the role had changed.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: We move locations as well.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: So everybody had moved over to this new site and everybody seems to be like really settled at this new site.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: And I was like this is like my place of work is not the same anymore.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: My job is not the same anymore.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: I've got a new manager.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: All the staff had changed And I was like everybody just seems to be getting on with this, this job, and it's like I'm this new girl and don't know who anybody is.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know how anything works.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: I can't even turn my computer on, like I just feel like hiding, like this is awful, and I think it just went from there really.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: And I'd come back and I was a moment I'd changed my hours and I'd gone down to work in reduced hours And I always felt like I was on the back foot all the time, like trying to like catch up.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: I'd come back in after my days off and all these.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: It was such a fast paced environment and loads of stuff had always changed And I remember like the head just being in a spin at the whole time And then always like coming away at the end of my working week, thinking did I do enough and does everybody know more than I know?
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: And I missed that meeting last week And I just was worrying all of the time and just my confidence just just kept getting knocked and knocked and knocked And I just felt more the more time went on, the more I was, i was lacking confidence and sort of doubting myself.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I do not this slight residency because this happened exactly to me.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: My workplace, the site moved So like you came completely to new office, really unfamiliar.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: It's like even things like you don't know where the toilets are And no one really gives you a tour Like, i think, if you were proper new.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, i felt like I was asking questions all the time And I was like there's a toilet and where's the canteen, and how do you watch this system?
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: And like where's that system gone?
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: And you manage.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: And, looking back, i think, and like you, i lacked the confidence because the claim that you know I came out part time.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: I felt I'd had to like fight for that, so I felt a little bit on the back foot, that I'd pushed for something that wasn't that welcome.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: And then So you're trying to prove yourself, then aren't you that you can do it in three days, whatever you're doing it, and then you're missing me in, like you said, and you know, looking back, i think if I'd have had the confidence, i could have maybe called some of it out and said look, this is how you make somebody feel supported after returning from return to do a career break or sick You know it must be all sorts of reasons people have broke.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: How do you think you know organizations could help people come back into work?
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: because it's such a big thing isn't having a baby and becoming a parent?
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, i think there seems to be a lot of support now out there for organizations.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: I don't think all of them take it up, unfortunately, but I know that there's specific people that focus on helping people Come back to work like return to work career coaches and it's so, so important because I think if I'd have had the confidence to say I actually don't understand anything that you're talking about and I'm finding this really, really hard, i think that it had been a different situation, but I just didn't have that confidence to speak up and I just was like Trying to get on with it, thinking, oh, it'll be alright.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: I think we just need such a lot more focus on supporting people when they come back from maternity leave.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: It's such a confidence crushing situation when you come back into an environment and you feel like you're not part of it anymore and you feel like you're massively out of the loop Every day that it goes on, that gets worse, it gets worse and worse.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, focused apart is absolutely needed.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Really is yeah, and that we used to have hot desk in this island.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: You know, sometimes if you're a bit late in, you'd be sitting with people you didn't even know.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: And I feel a bit uncomfortable sitting with people I don't know and they weren't.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: And they said to me we, you should make the effort to introduce yourself.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: And I thought We have.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: But you know, like also no one else in.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: You know, i'm like, fairly, i'm back in a couple of months.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: I only been back a couple of months and no one else is making Yeah, you need that support.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you do.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: so you obviously work with organizations that are interested in actually providing that support, which is fantastic.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: so talk to the types of organizations that come to you, and You sort of mentioned that you're supporting people, maybe new positions, but why do they come to you and what sort of support you offer through companies?
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so, like an example, is working with companies that are traditionally from male dominated industries, so like construction, for example.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: So There's a lot of top talent, there's a lot of incredible women that work within these organizations but because They're heavily male dominated, the research that the organizations have done is that they feel that when they're in meetings, that they are reluctant to put their ideas forward because they think that they're not going to be as well received As the ideas of the male colleagues, that they're in situations where they need to stand up for themselves, advocate for the needs, contribute to conversations, and they feel like they don't have the confidence to to do that.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: There's opportunities for senior positions and they know that they Talented enough to do those roles, but they worry whether they'll be received within that level of management well, so they hold back and they don't go after those jobs.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: So I do workshops on things like how to build lasting in the confidence, overcoming fast and post thoughts, that type of thing to encourage and support these women to, to go for it, to find the voice to speak up in these meetings to put their ideas forward, to go for those, to go for those promotions and say that they are.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: You know I'm going to give it a go and this is my idea, rather than sort of sitting back and not speaking up and not not achieving the full potential.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: Basically, to the lot of organizations now that are focused on and elevating that female talent and recognizing that there's some brilliant women out there that can do an amazing job, but they just need a little bit of help to get there sometimes if they're in a male dominated industry, for example.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and they've been getting talked over a bit in meetings or ever.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely that brilliant, and then I was going to ask you about.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: you know, if someone's listening to this and he's feeling a bit on confident, then what tips could you give to them about just building their confidence on a day to day basis?
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: So there's loads of different things that you that you can do to build confidence with.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: I'll go through a couple of them that I think could be really like actionable steps that women listen to this can start taking right away.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: The biggest one, i think, and the key starting point and I say this completely with love, no, no judgment at all but it is to take 100% responsibility for your life, because unless you do that, you're never going to live in a way that makes you happy.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: I love that He's so true.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: He's so true, and that actually then stops those excuses in a way.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, because if you think about my situation, i was in a job that I was unfulfilled in and it was really easy to say all the it's my boss's fault, or my company's fault, or the system's fault, or my team mate's fault.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Or my return's fault, you know, however, i mean, it wasn't real, but it, you know, is easy to blame a lot, isn't it?
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: One thing that really changed everything for me is when I had a really honest conversation with myself and took responsibility and said to myself luckily, and you are in a job that you are unhappy in because you've chosen to stay in a job that you're unhappy in as opposed to get a different one.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Why have you really done that?
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: what is the honest reason for that?
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: and the only reason was fear.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: I was scared.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: I was scared of being rejected, i was scared of failing, i was scared of making a mistake.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: And once I was able to be honest with myself and take that responsibility, i can then take the action that I need to do to overcome that fear, to to move forward, to change my role.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: So the first thing is take 100% responsibility.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: If there's something in your life that you are not happy with, know that you have got the complete power to change.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: That starts with a decision to do so.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: That is the first, the first bit of advice I would say.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: The second thing is create some headspace for yourself.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: Like we're all so, so busy, rushing around meeting everybody else's needs all day long, like supporting our colleagues, supporting our line manager, supporting our children, supporting our partners There's often very little time left for us.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: So it's really important to create that headspace for yourself and step away and reconnect with you.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Even if it's just taken an hour for yourself once a week or whatever, that's the time where you need to get really honest with where you are now, where you want to be instead.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: What does success look like for you?
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: where are you when you're at your best?
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: and really dig deep and explore what barriers are stopping you getting there, and I mean really stopping you, what things are stopping you, and what I just star is that you're telling yourself to get that, that clarity and take that time to you.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I bet you a lot of people.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: The biggest thing is stopping them is themselves.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: It's hard to admit that It's much easier to say oh, it's because of these external things than it is to say it's because I'm massively standing in my own way, i'm scared of some stuff and I need to deal with that.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: It's not comfortable, that's not nice to say or to admit to yourself.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: But the very first step to change is awareness and having that self-awareness of knowing that things aren't right and you're not happy.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: When we're in that mindset of we're living for the week and we're counting down to our next day off work, living for our rightful leave, we hate.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Sunday nights.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: We hate Sunday scaries coming in and we're like I remember when I used to hate my job for that much It wasn't like you know at some point I used to get those Sunday scaries on a Friday night, oh no, it's just not good, is it?
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: It's just not good.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: And when you live in your life like that, just know it's just not okay to be like that.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: And then I guess the next thing I would say is work on the relationship with yourself first, because that affects all of the others And that's from the way that you speak to yourself to meeting your own needs.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: It's all really important when it comes to confidence building, self-belief.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Because if you're in that cycle of putting everybody else before you and you always come in last and not meeting your needs and not prioritising your care, basically what you're doing is you're sending that message repeatedly to your brain that everybody else matters more than you do and that you deserve to come last, and over time that chips away and chips away and chips away at your self-esteem and your self-worth and your self-confidence.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: So you have to get to a point where you work on the relationship with you and you start making yourself a priority and you get really conscious around the language that you're using when you talk to yourself and about yourself.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: You get really conscious at making sure that you're meeting those needs and building on solid foundations.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: Like you have to start at the bottom and build up and quite a lot of the time You don't even meet our basic needs.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: We're like.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: I remember like it sounds so stupid to say it, but I remember sitting at my desk and having stomachache and thinking, why have I got stomachache?
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: and because I needed to go to the toilet, but I hadn't allowed myself time to go to the toilet And I'm like looking, man, what are you doing?
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: What are you doing?
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Like just not eating, like my basic needs, just constantly just working and working and working.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: So the relationship of working with yourself and the relationship on yourself is really really key.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: And then two more things I would say, and then my five things.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: The next thing I would say is get really honest about what support you need.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: I will hold my hands up and say for a long time I needed support and I didn't access it one because I thought that it made me look weak and I should be able to sort things out on my own.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: And I realize now how I was so very wrong about that.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: There is no shame in the support game and every single one of us needs help with something some point in life, and that's there's nothing to be ashamed of, and there's people out there that can help us with anything that we need help with.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: So we need to go and get that support.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: As a man, we need it.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: So having that honest conversation with yourself about what support you need is really key.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: And then the fifth thing I would say that really, really helped me and will help other people is stop waiting and start working for it.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: So I was forever waiting for the right time and I used to tell myself, oh, the stuff that I used to say I will start looking for a new job when I've lost some weight.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I will start looking for a new job when both my children in full-time school.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: I will start when it's summer.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: All these things.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: I will post on my news.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, i'll start after Christmas.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Well, there's always something in there.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: There's always something I was always waiting for that time to feel ready, for that time to feel confident And actually, 10 years went past of me waiting to feel ready and waiting to feel confident, and that I don't want that for anybody else.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: I don't want other people to waste years and years of their life waiting to feel ready and waiting to feel confident, because, actually, something that I've learned the long way and the hard way that I want people to learn much quicker than I did is confidence is not something that you find.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: It's something that you create, and you create it by taking action.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: And even if it's a tiny step at first, that action step is going to get you from where you are now to where you want to be.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: So anybody that's listening to this and it's resonating and they're thinking you know what I am that person.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: I am that woman with those Sunday scaries.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: I am that person who's constantly counting down to my day off.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: I am that person that's walking in that meeting with that feeling of utter dread, thinking I'm going to have to open my mouth but I don't know what to say or how to say it.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: The first tiny steps think about what you want to be, do what I have, and what one small step can you take today to get one step close, even if it's tiny?
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: just take that one step, and then the one after that, and the one after that, and if you need help, just go and get it, because you absolutely deserve it.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's really good, really powerful stuff and I think you're so right And actually I think the more women there are happy and thriving at work, the better it is for everybody And when you know we want to see it.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Actually I was going to say that was my final question Is there anyone really inspiring that you follow, maybe online or you see on TV?
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: that is really like exemplifying that confidence and you think, do you know what?
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: You are a really confident person, you're a great to follow, it's positive.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, that is a lovely question.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: I think probably the person that I would think about is my coach, so this is not someone that I'm from a self-development part of you.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: This is someone that I worked with from a business coach point of view.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: The lady calls Karen Cassay and she's not on LinkedIn that much, but she's I know her, karen Cassay.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Is it Cassay?
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, i'm on her email list.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, karen Cassay, she's been on a similar journey to me.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: So she coached with, did her coach training at the same provider that I trained with and her success has just been phenomenal and the trajectory that she's been on is absolutely insane.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: But I remember talking to her when I first joined her mastermind and she was like Leanne, the way that you feel now.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: I felt the same as you She's on.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: I remember like needing to do a Facebook live and having to do like the whole Mel Robbins 54321 and feeling like I am going to be sick.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: I am not terrified of doing it, but now, like when I see her, like she's doing so much stuff and she looks so, so confident and it's really reassuring, isn't it, to see somebody who is who you think.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, she's losing confidence, knowing that they started at the beginning and knowing that they fell all the nerves and all the apprehension and all the the fear, but that it's proof that thing you're actually taking action.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: And taking action even when you bring you frightened and when you scared and when you're doubting yourself.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: That's the thing that brings the confidence, that's the thing that brings the success.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, she's been very inspiring to me.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Brilliant.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: And actually, you know I should add to this.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: You know people like her you know I listen to podcast.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: They don't feel confident every day, but it's basically they're able to, like, still take action even when they're feeling confident.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's definitely the difference.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of misconceptions about people.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: I know I used to do it like when I was quite junior in my position at work.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: I used to look up to people that were in senior positions and I used to think, oh, they must be so clever, they must be so knowledgeable, they must be so confident.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: And then, as you progress through the, the career ladder and you in the same room as those people, you realise that they're not always confident.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: But the difference between them is they do it anyway, they go for it anyway and that's okay.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: I reckon.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: Just post about it this morning, actually.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I was going to say?
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: this is who we were chatting with.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: We were about LinkedIn before we started recording about posts, and sometimes we post them.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: We're like, oh you know, maybe some of them don't do so well, some of them do.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: We're talking about social media posts now, but it's actually just having the confidence to post to give it a shot.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just go for it.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and do you know what?
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: not everything works and there is some stuff that doesn't go to plan, but there's so much like rich learning from that.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: I definitely think that, like changing my mindset around.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: Failure has been a big thing for me as well, because I used to be terrified of failure, but now I realise that failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of it, and that every time something doesn't go quite right, i love that.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: It's so true that we, like we, learn from it every single time.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: So Oh, brilliant, so tell people how can they work.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: So someone's listening to this and they think do you know, i'm really, i know.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: Like we say, we've got the Sunday scare race, i can't do it on my own and need Leanne or somebody you know to hold my hand.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: How do you work with people, leanne, and hold their hands to get them where they need to be?
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: So if you are an organisation and you're thinking that you know you've got some female talent that you want to support and to empower, then you can reach out to me and we can have a chat about me coming and doing some training workshops, group coaching sessions with the ladies within your organisation to help them to move forward.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Is it just ladies you work with, or men as well?
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: It is yes, i work with women, and if you are a woman and you are listening to this and thinking, do you know what I'm not happy at work, there's a couple of ways that we can work together.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: You might want one-to-one support, which is is absolutely fine.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: We can do that, and we can do some one-to-one, focused, dedicated support.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: Alternatively, i am starting a group coaching programme in a couple of weeks as well.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: I have had a lot of ladies that have come to me recently and said that they are massively holding themselves back in terms of the career progression because of lack of confidence.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: They feel like they don't have anybody to talk to about it.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: They don't want to admit it at work because they are scared to talk about that.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: They don't have anybody else that they can open up to and they are not in a position to be able to pay for one-to-one coach at this point.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: So I wanted to bring together the opportunity for people to create a space where women come together in a group coaching programme and support and motivate and empower and inspire each other so we can work together in a group programme as well, starting in a couple of weeks.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: So a few options there.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: And do you know what?
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: it's quite nice working a group because you learn from other people, don't you?
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great, it's amazing.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: I, when I first went into the first, that first type of container, i was blown away about how much of an impact it made it makes here to be surrounded by women who are cheering you on and motivating you and supporting you and inspiring you.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: And every time, like you've got an idea, they're like oh, why about this, what about that?
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: and like really helping each other move forward.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: And if you're having a bit of a wobble, you've got all these like amazing women that are like, oh, it's all right, you can do it, i can help you, and it's just, it's just, it's an amazing, amazing experience.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, i'm really excited to be able to create that for these women as well.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: Brilliant, and I suppose it's people who feel like putting on a bit of a face.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: You know, at work or at school get whatever.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: It's actually quite nice to be able to be with people, be able to be authentic with people as well.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: It really is and like I'll have a lot of conversations with women, like when we first have like an inquiry call, and they'll, a lot of the time I'll probably say about 80% of the time people end up upset and they're like I'm so sorry, i feel so stupid, feeling like this.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: And I'll say to every single one of them, honestly, you are not on your own.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: Like I speak to so many women who are feeling the way that you're feeling now, this is not just you.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: It feels hard because it is hard, but they're our way forward.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: So it's just really nice for people to not feel like they're on their own and that it's not only them that are dealing with these challenges, because it can feel like that, can't it?
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: like?
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: you know?
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: like we were talking about when we came back from maternity leave and we were feeling not confident.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: It feels like when you're in that, like headspace, it feels like the whole world is just the most knowledgeable, confident, everybody's, friends with everybody, and you're just like this outsider and it's it's horrible.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we get it, i get it, and you know it's tough.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: So how can people connect with you, leanne, learn more about you, and then what about your coaching?
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: So probably the easiest way to I show up.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: I have got all the different social media platforms, but I'm on LinkedIn most.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: I've got a website and you can drop me an email or a DM via LinkedIn.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: So what you?
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: is it Leanne Cooper on LinkedIn?
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just Leanne Cooper.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: yeah, and then, and what's your website?
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: My website is wwwufistcoachcouk.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: Brilliant, all right we'll put all the links in the show notes.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, leanne for coming today.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: No, thank you, it's been brilliant, thank you.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to another episode of the Work It Like A Mum podcast.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review and subscribe, and don't forget to share the link with a friend.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: If you're on LinkedIn, please send me a connection request at Elizabeth Willett and let me know your thoughts on this week's episode.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: You can also follow my recruitment site, investing in Women on LinkedIn, facebook and Instagram.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Until next time, keep on chasing your biggest dreams.