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What Happens When a Narcissists Has NO MONEY? (Dealing With A Broke Narcissist) · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful folks?
• 0:02
  Today we're talking about the broke narcissist.
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  When that pesky desky broke narcissistic person that broke
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  narcissistic ex of yours has $0.00 wait wait, not even $0.00
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  y'all. When they don't have a lot of
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  money, when their when their finances are not financing, when
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  the money is not moneying, when the when the when the stocks are
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  not stocking. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  that's what we're talking about today.
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  Y'all, the broke narcissist, the narcissist that doesn't have an
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  access to a lot of money. And I think a lot of people will
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  vibe with this video because there's a lot of narcissist or a
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  lot of people who are dealing with narcissist.
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  They understand that not every single narcissist is rich.
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  Not every single narcissist is famous.
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  Not every single narcissist has, you know, a gallon of gallon
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  bags of money laying around the house.
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  That's just not true, right? And I think a lot of people
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  already know that a lot of people just already understand
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  that not every single narcissist is coming from has resources,
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  has finances and things of that nature.
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  So have you dealt with a broke narcissist?
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  How was it? What was your experience like?
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  Y'all tell me, tell me about your experience in the comments
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  section, because I do a lot of one on ones over zoom, right?
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  And mental illness.net. And there's so many people this
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  is say that just say Lee, the, the narcissist brought nothing
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  to the table, no money, no nothing.
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  I, I, I was the provider for the house.
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  And it's males, it's females, it's gender non conforming
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  folks. It's so many different people
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  that say Lee, they've had nothing, but they acted like
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  they had everything. That's the, that's the thing
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  right there. The narcissist that has no money
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  will still try to control the money, right?
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  Just because they don't have it doesn't mean that they won't try
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  to control it. And I think that's what a lot of
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  people have to understand and a lot of people have to reconcile
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  with that. Just because a narcissist
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  doesn't have money doesn't mean that they won't try to control
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  the money. That right there is so and that
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  right there can be so frustrating for so many people
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  when you're trying to understand a narcissist like when you are
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  working 2-3 jobs, right? And they don't work at all.
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  They sitting around the house thinking the house up, farting,
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  playing the game, just not doing anything.
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  Y'all don't even have kids, right?
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  There's no kids to even take care of.
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  They're just lazy. They don't have a job.
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  They, they, they, they, they fell on hard times and they
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  still haven't got back up from those hard times yet.
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  A lot of y'all have dealt with that person and they make your
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  life harder. I think a lot of people, when
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  you hear financial control and financial abuse by narcissist, a
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  lot of people assume, and rightfully so, a lot of times,
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  right, that the narcissist has the money that they're abusing
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  you with. But that's not always going to
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  be true because even when the narcissist doesn't have the
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  money, they can still make your life harder because they still
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  feel like they're entitled to your money, to whatever money is
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  available. They feel like they're entitled
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  to that point blank period in the story.
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  That's what so many people have to go through when you're
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  dealing with a narcissistic person is just understanding
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  that no matter what, they're still going to try to control
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  every single thing about the situation.
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  They're still going to try to control every little microcosm
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  of of everything, y'all, because this is how they are.
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  They still want control. Just because I don't have money
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  doesn't mean I don't want control.
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  You see what I'm saying? If that makes sense?
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  Just because I don't have it doesn't mean that I don't want
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  to control it. So if you're dealing with a
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  narcissist, you got to prepare for this.
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  You have to if you're dealing with a broke narcissist, you
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  have to prepare for them to always feel entitled to your
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  money and still try to control the money right now, let me say
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  this right here. Not every single narcissist like
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  it's like some narcissists are stay at home parents, right?
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  And that's good. That situation.
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  That's the touchy topic and whatnot.
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  Just because you're a stay at home parent and feel like you
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  should have access to the money does not make you a narcissist.
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  I'll have to say that right there because I know they're
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  stay at home parents, not as I said, parents.
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  They will say, they will hear me say, well, Lee, I don't make the
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  money. I feel like I should still have
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  access to it. I feel like I have rights to the
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  money because I'm doing other things.
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  Yes, stay at home parents, the parenting is your job, right?
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  Stay at home parent, stay at home spouse or whatnot, right?
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  That's your job. So yes, you should have this,
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  this kind of like a an equitable decision that y'all have made
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  together for you to take care of the kids and then for them to
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  provide the money for the household if you're not working
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  from home or something like that, right?
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  So yeah, that's understandable, but narcissist don't the
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  narcissistic person feels like they should have absolute
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  control and absolute say over the money and you don't get the
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  real demand, right? The broke narcissist will get
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  spending habits like if you get if you give them access to the
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  money, the broke narcissist or control of the money that broke
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  narcissist will will develop spending habits that will just
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  drive y'all into bankruptcy and this happened.
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  They'll be they'll be gambling, they'll be gambling thinking
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  they're going to come up. They'll be taking your your
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  money to invest in frivolous things that like they'll take
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  your money to invest in frivolous things in order to try
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  to come up quick, get rich quick schemes.
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  They'll mess around and get scammed.
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  So many of these things be happening.
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  Y'all and so many of y'all have will understand it and y'all
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  have dealt with it before, right?
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  You get it too, Dolce, because so many people have had to deal
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  with this person over time, like because the narcissistic person,
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  I'm telling you, they will have you working and working and
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  working, working to the, to the, to the nubs of your little nubby
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  fingers, right? And still won't be appreciative
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  of anything that you do because they feel like they're entitled
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  to it. That's the narcissist, the ego
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  kicking it, feeling like they're entitled to everything that you
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  have going on just because they are your spouse, just because
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  they are your friend, whatever the case may be, right?
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  This happens too. And broke narcissists are not
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  just only spouses. They can be your friends.
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  They can be your parents because some of our some of our parents
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  are narcissists, right? And those narcissistic parents
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  that, you know, maybe didn't maybe were unfortunate through
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  their adulthood and they couldn't save any money up and
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  they had children. They feel like those kids are
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  they feel like their kids, their own kids or their inheritance,
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  like I'm inheriting my kids to take care of me.
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  So the broke narcissist or the narcissist doesn't have a lot of
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  money who doesn't have a lot of resources or will not will
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  absolutely feel like they're entitled to their children's
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  money as well. The narcissistic parent can be
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  just as bad as another narcissist, right?
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  Can be just be bad, be just as bad as a narcissistic spouse.
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  I've talked to so many people that have narcissistic mother in
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  law's or narcissistic father in laws that are ruining their
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  marriage because like they're ruining like they say I'm I have
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  a narcissistic mother-in-law. She's ruining my marriage with
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  their child because they feel like they're entitled to our
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  money because I'm married to their child.
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  Like their child is my spouse. So they feel like they're
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  entitled to my money as well. They feel like our household
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  income should go to support them and that ends up happening in a
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  lot. Y'all, I got some.
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  I won't be trying to cover too much real life stuff on here,
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  but like some real life stuff going on in my real life that
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  that that has happened before. Like they feel like it's,
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  they're entitled to having their own children take care of them
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  as they get older. And that should, should some of
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  our kids take care of us when we get old.
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  Yeah, yeah, there's instinu. Everybody's circumstances are
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  going to be different, right? They're going to be some
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  extenuated circumstances where, yeah, I'm.
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  Look, my mom is not a narcissist and she gets older and whatnot.
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  They can't take care of herself. I'm going to help support my
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  Mama, not because I feel like I'm indebted to her, whatever,
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  because she, my mom was a good woman.
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  She's not a narcissist and she deserves the best.
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  You know, in her next how many years we got left, right?
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  She deserves the best. But there's some narcissistic
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  parents that are just, it won't be nice to you.
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  They won't feel they will. They will not feel grateful for
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  you taking care of them. They will not feel grateful for
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  you supplying them any type of money because they feel like
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  they're entitled to it. You know, entitlement and
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  gratitude cannot exist in the same space together, y'all?
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  They just can't. Those two things are
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  diametrically opposed. They cannot, they cannot exist
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  in the same space. You cannot feel entitled to
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  something and feel grateful for it.
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  So your partner, parent, whoever that narcissist is that doesn't
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  have a lot of money in your life, The broke narcissist, like
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  they cannot be grateful for what you do because they feel
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  entitled for what you have done. They feel like they're, you
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  should give it to them anyway. Hey, I'm doing this, I'm doing
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  this, I need that money. So a lot of times they'll be
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  begging you look when you don't look.
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  I got plenty of people that have sent me text messages from their
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  narcissistic parent or parent partner or whatever, right?
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  The narcissistic spouse or partner sending them messages
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  about asking them for more money.
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  It's just like, hey, how's the job hunt going?
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  Well, I'm, you know, I'm trying to hurt for a job.
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  Why don't you just give me $20 till tomorrow and imagine your
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  partner ask you for $20 every single day or whatnot and they
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  still haven't tried to try to haven't had a job in years.
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  I know I told the story recently about the woman who had been her
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  partner got fired from his job or got laid off or whatever.
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  And he spent 14 years looking for a job and he just sitting on
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  the couch for 14 years just lays as hell building model
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  airplanes, feeling entitled to his, his wife's money even
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  though she works. You see what I'm saying?
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  He, he was a stay at home parent.
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  I'm just, I'm staying at home with the parents, but he didn't
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  do anything, anything for the kids.
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  The kids, right? The kids when they got older,
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  they cut him off. He's like, no, we hate that he
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  was a horrible stay at home parent, but he didn't help us at
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  all. We we raised ourselves.
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  His lazy, stinking ass is sitting in the living room
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  twirling his fingers, not doing anything.
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  He didn't, he didn't help us at all.
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  So no, they didn't respect him. They end up, they end up cutting
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  him off. But the wife was left to deal
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  with him and she was working 2 jobs to support the household
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  and his lazy ass wasn't doing anything.
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  He felt entitled to her money. It was which is exactly why when
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  she filed for divorce, he tried to get alimony from me.
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  He's like, I haven't worked in 14 years and I'm accustomed to
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  some type of lifestyle. He had willfully not worked for
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  14 years and when she tried to go file for divorce, he's able
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  to take alimony from her. He's able to get alimony.
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  He's like, yo, I haven't, I have a lifestyle I'm accustomed to.
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  So you can divorce me and I'm still going to get your money.
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  You're still going to have to work 2 jobs because I have to
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  save. This man was saving her tax
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  returns. This man saved all her tax
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  returns, right? Even though they were finally
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  married, he was not working. He saved all the tax returns so
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  he could just show how much income that she was making so he
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  can make sure he get every dollar of alimony he was he was
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  deserving of because he had put up with her for 14 years of not
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  working. And hearing her mouth, hearing
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  her complaint, he felt like then this is what a lot of
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  narcissists will do. They will feel like you're
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  complaining about them when you're just asking them to go
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  get a job. When you're just asking them to
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  work or do something, you're asking them to help around the
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  house. They will feel like you are
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  complaining. Ain't they crazy?
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  They'll feel like you're complaining about them.
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  It's complaining to them about some stuff that they should
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  already be doing. A lot of narcissists are are
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  horrible people. Y'all.
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  Let's just keep it high. There are a lot of narcissists
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  out there that are absolutely repugnant horrible people and
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  they will not get better. They will drain your resources
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  dry and they will feel they will blame you for giving them money.
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  They will blame you for y'all being broke together now.
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  Like they will drag you down. Well matter of fact one of my
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  friends online literally just posted a GoFundMe.
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  She said when she before she met before she met her narcissistic
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  ex she had like $120,000 in the bank, $50,000 in the retirement
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  account and she had some investment properties and
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  everything. She was doing good.
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  But then after two years of being together, he convinced her
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  to just give her, I'll give him all her money, her investments
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  into so he can invest and stuff like that.
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  And now she's $100,000 in debt. Like her situation has like
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  flipped on its head. Now she's like she got she got
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  fired from her job or whatever. I was like crazy.
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  I was like, they will drain your resource.
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  And he blamed her like, well, you shouldn't give it to me.
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  You didn't have to give it to me.
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  And every time that she said no about money, that man
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  complained, whine, kicked the screen, made her feel guilty and
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  lost it. But then when when they got
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  broke and then she filed for divorce.
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  Like, well, you shouldn't you didn't have to give me that
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  money. Like just dumb on your part.
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  Why would you give me? Why would you keep giving me
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  money when you see I'm blowing it, when you see my investments
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  are not working, that's on you. You should have cut me off.
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  Like why would you steal? Is this like this, this like
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  feeding and this like giving an addict drugs and just hoping
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  that they stop on their own. It's like giving an alcoholic
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  alcohol and just hoping that they they stop drinking on their
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  own. You see, that's what you keep
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  supplying alcoholic alcohol. He blamed her.
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  You know, I know some people are like, well, that'll make sense.
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  You don't victim blame it on this channel, y'all.
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  But anyway, y'all, that broke narcissist will absolutely try
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  to ruin your life and take ruin their own at the same time.
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  So you have to be very careful with these people, y'all,
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  because they don't care about you.
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  They don't care what you're going through or what you're
• 12:56
  experiencing or how you're surviving about the kids.
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  They don't care about leaving the kids a college fund or any
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  type of four O 1K unless they can spend it right.
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  They will take your, they will take your sources.
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  They will take everything because they feel entitled to
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  it. Again, in conclusion, and both
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  entitlement and gratitude cannot exist in the same space.
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  Shop. Yeah, I think I'll make it to
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  the end of the video. If you haven't already, click
• 13:17
  one of these videos on the screen.
• 13:18
  Also, my coach and my courses, everything is available at
• 13:21
  mentalillness.net. You can find all of that in the
• 13:24
  description of every video and every podcast and I will see
• 13:27
  y'all later. Peace.