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Candide - Voltaire · Classic Comedy Library

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Speaker 1: Candide by Voltaire introduction by Philip Littel. Ever since seventeen
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Speaker 1: fifty nine, when Voltaire wrote Candide in ridicule of the
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Speaker 1: notion that this is the best of all possible worlds,
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Speaker 1: this world has been a gayer place for readers. Voltaire
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Speaker 1: wrote it in three days, and five or six generations
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Speaker 1: have found that its laughter does not grow old. Candide
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Speaker 1: has not aged yet. How different the book would have
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Speaker 1: looked if Voltaire had written it a hundred and fifty
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Speaker 1: years later than seventeen fifty nine. It would have been,
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Speaker 1: among other things, a book of sights and sounds. A
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Speaker 1: modern writer would have tried to catch and fix in
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Speaker 1: words some of those Atlantic changes which broke the Atlantic
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Speaker 1: monotony of that voyage from Cadiz to Buenos Aires. When
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Speaker 1: Martin and Candide were sailing the length of the Mediterranean.
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Speaker 1: We should have had a contrast between naked scar Baliari
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Speaker 1: cliffs and headlands of Calabria in their mists. We should
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Speaker 1: have had quarter distances far horizons, the altering silhouettes of
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Speaker 1: an Ionian Island. Colored birds would have filled Paraguay with
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Speaker 1: their silver or acid cries. Doctor Pangloss to prove the
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Speaker 1: existence of design in the universe says that noses were
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Speaker 1: made to carry spectacles, and so we have spectacles. A
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Speaker 1: modern satirist would not try to paint with Voltaire's quick
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Speaker 1: brush the doctrine that he wanted to expose, and he
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Speaker 1: would choose a more complicated doctrine than doctor Pangloss's optimism,
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Speaker 1: would study it more closely, feel his destructive way about
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Speaker 1: it with a more learned and caressing malice. His attack, stealthier,
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Speaker 1: more flexible, and more patient than Voltaire's. Would call upon us,
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Speaker 1: especially when his learning got a little out of control,
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Speaker 1: to be more than patient now and then he would
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Speaker 1: bore us. Candide never bored anybody except William Wordsworth. Voltaire's
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Speaker 1: men and women point his case against optimism by starting
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Speaker 1: high and falling low. A modern could not go about
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Speaker 1: it after this fashion. He would not plunge his people
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Speaker 1: into an unfamiliar misery. He would just keep them in
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Speaker 1: the misery they were born to. But such an account
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Speaker 1: of Voltaire's procedure is as misleading as the plaster cast
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Speaker 1: of a dance. Look at his procedure again, Mademoiselle Cunegonda,
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Speaker 1: the illustrious Westphalian sprung from a family that could prove
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Speaker 1: seventy one quarterings. Descends and descends until we find her
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Speaker 1: earning her keep by washing dishes. In the Propontis, the
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Speaker 1: aged faithful attendant, victim of a hundred acts of rape
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Speaker 1: by negro pirates, remembers that she is the daughter of
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Speaker 1: a pope, and that, in honor of her approaching marriage
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Speaker 1: with a Prince of Massacaraa all Italy wrote sonnets, of
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Speaker 1: which not one was passable. We do not need to
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Speaker 1: know French literature before Voltaire in order to feel. Although
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Speaker 1: the lurking parody may escape us, that he is poking
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Speaker 1: fun at us and at himself, his laughter at his
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Speaker 1: own methods grows more unmistakable at the last, when he
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Speaker 1: caricatures them by casually assembling six fallen monarchs in an
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Speaker 1: inn at Venice. A modern assailant of optimism would arm
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Speaker 1: himself with social pity. There is no social pity in Candide. Voltaire,
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Speaker 1: whose light touch on familiar institutions opens them and reveals
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Speaker 1: their absurdity, likes to remind us that the slaughter and
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Speaker 1: pillage and murder which Candide witnessed among the Bulgarians was
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Speaker 1: perfectly regular, having been conducted according to the laws and
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Speaker 1: usages of war. Had Voltaire lived to day, he would
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Speaker 1: have done to poverty what he did to war. Pitying
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Speaker 1: the poor. He would have shown us poverty as a
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Speaker 1: ridiculous anachronism, and both the ridicule and the pity would
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Speaker 1: have expressed his indignation. Almost any modern essaying a philosophic
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Speaker 1: tale would make it long. Candide is only a hamlet
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Speaker 1: and a half long. It would hardly have been shorter
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Speaker 1: if Voltaire had spent three months on it instead of
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Speaker 1: those three days. A conciseness to be matched in English
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Speaker 1: by nobody except Pope, who can say a plagiarizing enemy
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Speaker 1: steals much, spends little, and has nothing left. A conciseness
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Speaker 1: which Pope toiled and sweated for, came as easy as wit.
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Speaker 1: To Voltaire. He can afford to be witty parenthetically by
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Speaker 1: the way prodigally without saving, because he knows there is
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Speaker 1: more wit where that came from. One of Max Bierbaum's
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Speaker 1: cartoons shows us the young twentieth century going at top
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Speaker 1: speed and watched by two of his predecessors. Underneath is
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Speaker 1: this legend the grave misgivings of the nineteenth century and
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Speaker 1: the wicked amusement of the eighteenth in watching the progress
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Speaker 1: or whatever it is of the twentieth, this eighteenth century
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Speaker 1: snuff taking and maliciousness is like Voltaire, who nevertheless must know,
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Speaker 1: if he happens to think of it, that not yet
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Speaker 1: in the twentieth century, not for all its speed mania,
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Speaker 1: has any one come near to equalling the speed of
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Speaker 1: a prose tale by Voltaire. Candide is a full book.
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Speaker 1: It is filled with mockery, with inventiveness, with things as
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Speaker 1: concrete as things to eat and coins. It has time
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Speaker 1: for the neatest intellectual clickings. It is never hurried, and
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Speaker 1: it moves with the most amazing rapidity. It has the
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Speaker 1: rapidity of high spirits playing a game. The dry high
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Speaker 1: spirits of this destroyer of optimism make most optimists look
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Speaker 1: damp and depressed. Contemplation of the study upidity, which deems
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Speaker 1: happiness possible, almost made Voltaire happy. His attack on optimism
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Speaker 1: is one of the gayest books in the world. Gaiety
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Speaker 1: has been scattered everywhere, up and down its pages, by
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Speaker 1: Voltaire's lavish hand, by his thin fingers. Many propagandist satirical
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Speaker 1: books have been written with Candide in mind, but not
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Speaker 1: too many today, especially when new faiths are changing the
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Speaker 1: structure of the world, fates which are still plastic enough
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Speaker 1: to be deformed by every disciple, each disciple for himself,
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Speaker 1: and which have not yet received the final deformation known
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Speaker 1: as universal acceptance. Today, Candide is an inspiration to every
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Speaker 1: narrative satirist who hates one of these new faiths or
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Speaker 1: hates every interpretation of it but his own. Either hatred
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Speaker 1: will serve as a motive to satire. That is why
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Speaker 1: the present is one of the right moments to republish Candide.
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Speaker 1: I hope it will inspire younger men and women, the
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Speaker 1: only ones who can be inspired to have a try
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Speaker 1: at Theodore or militarism, Jane or pacifism, and so and
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Speaker 1: so the pragmatist or the Freudian. And I hope too
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Speaker 1: that they will, without trying, hold their pins with an
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Speaker 1: eighteenth century lightness not inappropriate to a philosophic tale in
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Speaker 1: Voltaire's Fingers. As Anatole France has said, the pen runs
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Speaker 1: and laughs end of the introduction to Candide by Philip Lettel,
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Speaker 1: Chapter one, how Candide was brought up in a magnificent castle,
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Speaker 1: and how he was expelled. Thence in a castle of
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Speaker 1: Westphalia belonging to the barren thunder ten Trunk, lived a
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Speaker 1: youth whom nature had endowed with the most gentle manners.
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Speaker 1: His countenance was a true picture of his soul. He
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Speaker 1: combined a true judgment with simplicity of spirit, which was
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Speaker 1: the reason I apprehend of his being called Candide. The
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Speaker 1: old servants of the family suspected him to have been
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Speaker 1: the son of the baron's sister by a good, honest
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Speaker 1: gentleman of the neighborhood, whom that young lady would never marry,
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Speaker 1: because he had been able to prove only seventy one quarterings,
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Speaker 1: the rest of his genealogical tree having been lost through
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Speaker 1: the injuries of time. The baron was one of the
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Speaker 1: most powerful lords in Westphalia, for his castle had not
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Speaker 1: only a gate but windows. His great hall even was
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Speaker 1: hung with tapestry. All the dogs of his farm yards
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Speaker 1: formed a pack of hounds at need. His grooms were
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Speaker 1: his huntsmen, and the curate of the village was his
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Speaker 1: grand almoner. They called him my lord and laughed at
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Speaker 1: all his stories. The baron's lady weighed about three hundred
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Speaker 1: fifty pounds, and was therefore a person of great consideration,
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Speaker 1: and she did the honors of the house with a
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Speaker 1: dignity that commanded still greater respect. Her daughter, Cunegonda, was
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Speaker 1: seventeen years of age, fresh colored, comely, plump, and desirable.
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Speaker 1: The baron's son seemed to be in every respect worthy
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Speaker 1: of his father. The preceptor Pangloss was the oracle of
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Speaker 1: the family, and little Candide heard his lessons with all
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Speaker 1: the good faith of his age and character. Pangloss was
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Speaker 1: professor of metaphysico theologico cosmoloneiology. He proved admirably that there
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Speaker 1: is no effect without a cause, and that in this
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Speaker 1: best of all possible worlds, the baron's castle was the
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Speaker 1: most magnificent of castles, and his lady the best of
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Speaker 1: all possible baronesses. It is demonstrable, said he, that things
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Speaker 1: cannot be otherwise than as they are, for all being
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Speaker 1: created for an end, all is necessarily for the best end.
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Speaker 1: Observe that the nose has been formed to bear spectacles.
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Speaker 1: Thus we have spectacles. Legs are visibly designed for stockings,
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Speaker 1: and we have stockings. Stones were made to be hewn
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Speaker 1: and to construct castles. Therefore, my lord has a magnificent castle,
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Speaker 1: for the greatest baron in the province ought to be
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Speaker 1: the best lodged pigs were made to be eaten. Therefore
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Speaker 1: we eat pork all the year round. Consequently, they who
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Speaker 1: assert that all is well have said a foolish thing.
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Speaker 1: They should have said all is for the best. Candide
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Speaker 1: listened attentively and believed innocently, for he thought Miss Cunegonde
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Speaker 1: extremely beautiful, though he never had the courage to tell
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Speaker 1: her so. He concluded that, after the happiness of being
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Speaker 1: born of Baron Thunderton Trunk, the second degree of happiness
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Speaker 1: was to be Miss Cunegonde, the third that of seeing
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Speaker 1: her every day, and the fourth that of hearing Master Pangloss,
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Speaker 1: the greatest philosopher of the whole province and consequently of
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Speaker 1: the whole world. One day, Cunegonde, while walking near the
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Speaker 1: castle in a little wood which they called a park,
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Speaker 1: saw between the bushes doctor Pangloss, giving a lesson in
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Speaker 1: experimental natural philosophy to her mother's chambermaid, a little brown wench.
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Speaker 1: Very pretty and very docile. As Miss Cunegonde had a
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Speaker 1: great disposition for the sciences, she breathlessly observed the repeated
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Speaker 1: experiments of which she was a witness. She clearly perceived
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Speaker 1: the force of the doctor's reasons, the effects, and the causes.
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Speaker 1: She turned back greatly flurry, quite pensive and filled with
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Speaker 1: the desire to be learned, dreaming that she might well
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Speaker 1: be a sufficient reason for young Candide, and he for her.
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Speaker 1: She met Candide on reaching the castle and blushed. Candide
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Speaker 1: blushed also. She wished him good morrow in a faltering tone,
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Speaker 1: and Candide spoke to her without knowing what he said.
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Speaker 1: The next day, after dinner, as they went from table,
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Speaker 1: Cunegonda and Candide found themselves behind a screen. Cunegonda let
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Speaker 1: fall her handkerchief, Candide picked it up. She took him
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Speaker 1: innocently by the hand. The youth as innocently kissed the
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Speaker 1: young lady's hand with particular vivacity, sensibility, and grace. Their
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Speaker 1: lips met, their eyes sparkled, their knees trembled, their hands strayed,
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Speaker 1: barren thunder tin trunk passed near the green, and beholding
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Speaker 1: this cause and effect, chased Candide from the castle with
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Speaker 1: great kicks. On the backside, Cunegonda fainted away. She was
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Speaker 1: boxed on the ears by the baroness as soon as
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Speaker 1: she came to herself, and all was consternation in this
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Speaker 1: most magnificent and most agreeable of all possible castles. End
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Speaker 1: Chapter one, Chapter two. What became of Candide among the Bulgarians. Candide,
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Speaker 1: driven from terrestrial paradise, walked a long while without knowing where, weeping,
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Speaker 1: raising his eyes to Heaven, turning them often towards the
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Speaker 1: most magnificent of castles, which imprisoned the purest of noble
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Speaker 1: young ladies. He lay down to sleep without supper, in
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Speaker 1: the middle of a field between two furrows. The snow
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Speaker 1: fell in large flakes. Next day, Candide, all benumbed, dragged
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Speaker 1: himself towards the neighboring town, which was called wald Berghoff
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Speaker 1: tarb dick Dorff. Having no money, Dying of hunger and fatigue,
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Speaker 1: he stopped sorrowfully at the door of an inn. Two
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Speaker 1: men dressed in blue observed him. Comrade said, one, here
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Speaker 1: is a well built young fellow, and of proper height.
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Speaker 1: They went up to Candide and very civilly invited him
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Speaker 1: to dinner. Gentlemen, replied Candide, with a most engaging modesty.
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Speaker 1: You do me great honor, but I have not wherewithal
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Speaker 1: to pay my share, Oh, sir, said one of the
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Speaker 1: blues to him, people, of your appearance and of your merit,
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Speaker 1: never pay anything. Are you not five feet five inches high? Yes, sir,
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Speaker 1: that is my height, answered he, making a low bow. Come, sir,
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Speaker 1: seat yourself. Not only will we pay your reckoning, but
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Speaker 1: we will never suffer such a man as you to
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Speaker 1: want money. Men are only born to assist one another.
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Speaker 1: You are right, said Candide. This is what I was
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Speaker 1: always taught by doctor Pangloss, and I see plainly that
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Speaker 1: all is for the best. They begged of him to
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Speaker 1: accept a few crowns. He took them and wished to
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Speaker 1: give them his note. They refused. They seated themselves at table.
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Speaker 1: Love you not deeply, oh, yes, answered he, I deeply
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Speaker 1: love miss Cunegonde. No, said one of the gentlemen. We
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Speaker 1: ask you if you do not deeply love the King
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Speaker 1: of the Bulgarians. Not at all, said he, For I
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Speaker 1: have never seen him what he is the best of kings.
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Speaker 1: And we must drink his health, oh, very willingly, gentlemen,
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Speaker 1: And he drank. That is enough, they tell him. Now
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Speaker 1: you are the help, the support, the defender, the hero
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Speaker 1: of the Bulgarians, your fortune is made, and your glory
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Speaker 1: is a shoe. Instantly they fettered him and carried him
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Speaker 1: away to the regiment. There he was made to wheel
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Speaker 1: about to the right and to the left, to draw
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Speaker 1: his rammer, to return his rammer, to present to fire,
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Speaker 1: to march, and they gave him thirty blows with a cudgel.
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Speaker 1: The next day he did his exercise a little less badly,
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Speaker 1: and he received but twenty blows. The day following they
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Speaker 1: gave him only ten, and he was regarded by his
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Speaker 1: comrades as a prodigy. Candide, all stupefied, could not yet
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Speaker 1: very well realize how he was a hero. He resolved
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Speaker 1: one fine day in spring to go for a walk,
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Speaker 1: marching straight before him, believing that it was a privilege
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Speaker 1: of the human as well as of the animal species,
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Speaker 1: to make use of their legs as they pleased. He
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Speaker 1: had advanced two leagues when he was overtaken by four others,
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Speaker 1: heroes of six feet, who bound him and carried him
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Speaker 1: to a dungeon. He was asked which he would like
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Speaker 1: the best, to be whipped six and thirty times through
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Speaker 1: all the regiment, or to receive at once twelve balls
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Speaker 1: of lead in his brain. He vainly said that human
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Speaker 1: will is free, and that he chose neither the one
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Speaker 1: nor the other. He was forced to make a choice.
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Speaker 1: He determined, in virtue of that gift of God called liberty,
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Speaker 1: to run the gauntlet six and thirty times. He bore
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Speaker 1: this twice. The regiment was composed of two thousand men
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Speaker 1: that composed for him four thousand strokes, which laid bare
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Speaker 1: all his muscles and nerves, from the nape of his
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Speaker 1: neck quite down to his rump. As they were going
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Speaker 1: to proceed to a third whipping, Candide, able to bear
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Speaker 1: no more, begged as a favor that they would be
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Speaker 1: so good as to shoot him. He obtained this favor.
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Speaker 1: They bandaged his eyes and bade him kneel down. The
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Speaker 1: King of the Bulgarians passed at this moment and ascertained
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Speaker 1: the nature of the crime. As he had great talent,
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Speaker 1: he understood from all that he learnt of Candide that
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Speaker 1: he was a young metaphysician, extremely ignorant of the things
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Speaker 1: of this world. And he accorded him his pardon with
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Speaker 1: a clemency which will bring him praise in all the
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Speaker 1: journals and throughout all ages. An able surgeon cured Candide
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Speaker 1: in three weeks by means of emollience taught by Dioscorides.
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Speaker 1: He had already a little skin and was able to
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Speaker 1: march when the King of the Bulgarians gave battle to
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Speaker 1: the King of the Arbarese d. Chapter two, Chapter three.
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Speaker 1: How Candide made his escape from the Bulgarians, and what
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Speaker 1: afterwards became of him. There was never anything so gallant,
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Speaker 1: so spruce, so brilliant, and so well disposed as the
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Speaker 1: two armies. Trumpets, fifes, hot boys, drums and cannon made
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Speaker 1: music such as hell itself had never heard. The cannons,
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Speaker 1: first of all, laid flat about six thousand men on
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Speaker 1: each side. The muskets swept away from this best of
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Speaker 1: worlds nine or ten thousand ruffians who infested its surface.
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Speaker 1: The bayonet was also a sufficient reason for the death
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Speaker 1: of several thousands. The whole might amount to thirty thousand souls. Candide,
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Speaker 1: who trembled like a philosopher, hid himself as well as
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Speaker 1: he could during this heroic butchery. At length, while the
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Speaker 1: two kings were causing tadum to be sung each in
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Speaker 1: his own camp, Candide resolved to go and reason elsewhere.
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Speaker 1: On effects and causes. He passed over heaps of dead
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Speaker 1: and dying, and first reached a neighboring village. It was
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Speaker 1: in cinders. It was an Abare village which the Bulgari
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Speaker 1: Marians had burnt according to the laws of war. Here
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Speaker 1: old men covered with wounds beheld their wives, hugging their
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Speaker 1: children to their bloody breasts, massacred before their faces. There
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Speaker 1: their daughters disemboweled and breathing their last after having satisfied
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Speaker 1: the natural wants of Bulgarian heroes, while others, half burnt
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Speaker 1: in the flames, begged to be dispatched. The earth was
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Speaker 1: strewn with brains, arms and legs. Candide fled quickly to
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Speaker 1: another village. It belonged to the Bulgarians, and the Ibarian
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Speaker 1: heroes had treated it in the same way. Candide, walking
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Speaker 1: always over palpitating limbs or across ruins, arrived at last
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Speaker 1: beyond the seat of war, with a few provisions in
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Speaker 1: his knapsack, and Miss Cunegonda always in his heart. His
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Speaker 1: provisions failed him when he arrived in Holland, But having
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Speaker 1: heard that everybody was rich in that country, and that
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Speaker 1: they were Christians, he did not doubt, but he should
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Speaker 1: meet with the same treatment from them as he had
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Speaker 1: met with in the baron's castle before. Miss Cunegonda's bright
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Speaker 1: eyes were the cause of his expulsion. Thence he asked
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Speaker 1: arms of several grave looking people, who all answered him
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Speaker 1: that if he continued to follow this trade, they would
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Speaker 1: confine him to the house of correction, where he should
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Speaker 1: be taught to get a living. The next he addressed
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Speaker 1: was a man who had been haranguing a large assembly
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Speaker 1: for a whole hour on the subject of charity. But
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Speaker 1: the orator, looking askew, said, what are you doing here?
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Speaker 1: Are you for the good cause? There can be no
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Speaker 1: effect without a cause. Modestly answered Candide, the whole is
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Speaker 1: necessarily concatenated and arranged for the best. It was necessary
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Speaker 1: for me to have been banished from the presence of
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Speaker 1: Miss Cunegonde, to have afterwards run the gauntlet, and now
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Speaker 1: it is necessary I should beg my bread until I
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Speaker 1: learned to earn it. All this cannot be otherwise, my friend,
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Speaker 1: said the orator to him, do you believe the pope
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Speaker 1: to be the anti Christ? I have not heard it,
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Speaker 1: answered Candide. But whether he be or whether he be not,
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Speaker 1: I want bread. Thou dost not deserve to eat? Said
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Speaker 1: the other began, rogue begone, wretch did not come near
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Speaker 1: me again. The orator's wife, putting her head out of
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Speaker 1: the window, and spying a man that doubted whether the
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Speaker 1: Pope was the Antichrist, poured over him a full Oh, heavens,
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Speaker 1: to what excess does religious zeal carry the ladies? A
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Speaker 1: man who had never been christened a good Anabaptist named James,
22:51
Speaker 1: beheld the cruel and ignominious treatment shown to one of
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Speaker 1: his brethren, an unfeathered biped with a rational soul. He
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Speaker 1: took him home, cleaned him, gave him bread and beer,
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Speaker 1: presented him with two florins, and even wished to teach
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Speaker 1: him the manufacture of Persian stuffs, which they make in Holland. Candide,
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Speaker 1: almost prostrating himself before him, cried, Master Pangloss has well
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Speaker 1: said that all is for the best in this world,
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Speaker 1: For I am infinitely more touched by your extreme generosity
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Speaker 1: than with the inhumanity of that gentleman in the black
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Speaker 1: coat and his lady. The next day, as he took
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Speaker 1: a walk, he met a beggar, all covered with scabs,
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Speaker 1: his eyes diseased. The end of his nose eaten away,
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Speaker 1: his mouth distorted, his teeth black, choking in his throat,
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Speaker 1: tormented with a violent cough, and spitting out a tooth
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Speaker 1: at each effort. End Chapter three, Chapter four, How Candide
23:58
Speaker 1: found his old master Pangloss, and what happened to them? Candide,
24:03
Speaker 1: yet more moved with compassion than with horror, gave to
24:07
Speaker 1: this shocking beggar the two florins which he had received
24:11
Speaker 1: from the honest Anabaptist James. The specter looked at him
24:16
Speaker 1: very earnestly, dropped a few tears, and fell upon his neck.
24:20
Speaker 1: Candide recoiled in disgust alas said one wretch to the other.
24:26
Speaker 1: Do you no longer know your dear Pangloss? What do
24:31
Speaker 1: I hear you, my dear master? You in this terrible plight?
24:36
Speaker 1: What misfortune has happened to you? Why are you no
24:39
Speaker 1: longer in the most magnificent of castles? What has become
24:43
Speaker 1: of miss Cunegonde, the pearl of girls and Nature's masterpiece?
24:49
Speaker 1: I am so weak that I cannot stand, said Pangloss,
24:53
Speaker 1: upon which Candide carried him to the Anabaptist's stable and
24:57
Speaker 1: gave him a crust of bread. As soon as Pangloss
25:01
Speaker 1: had refreshed himself, a little well, said Candide. Cuonegande, she
25:07
Speaker 1: is dead, replied the other. Candide fainted at this word.
25:12
Speaker 1: His friend recalled his senses with a little bad vinegar,
25:16
Speaker 1: which he found by chance in the stable. Candide reopened
25:20
Speaker 1: his eyes. Cunegonde is dead. Oh, best of worlds, where
25:25
Speaker 1: art thou? But of what illness did she die? Was
25:29
Speaker 1: it not for grief upon seeing her father kick me
25:32
Speaker 1: out of his magnificent castle, No, said Pangloss. She was
25:37
Speaker 1: ripped open by the Bulgarian soldiers after having been violated
25:43
Speaker 1: by many. They broke the baron's head for attempting to
25:46
Speaker 1: defend her, My lady, Her mother was cut in pieces.
25:51
Speaker 1: My poor pupil was served just in the same manner
25:54
Speaker 1: as his sister. But as for the castles, they have
25:57
Speaker 1: not left one stone upon another, not a barn, not
26:02
Speaker 1: a sheep, nor a duck, nor a tree. But we
26:05
Speaker 1: have had our revenge, for the Abbarees have done the
26:09
Speaker 1: very same thing to a neighboring barony which belonged to
26:13
Speaker 1: a Bulgarian lord. At this discourse, Candid fainted again, but
26:18
Speaker 1: coming to himself, and having said all that it became
26:21
Speaker 1: him to say, inquired into the cause and effect, as
26:26
Speaker 1: well as into the sufficient reason that had reduced Pangloss
26:30
Speaker 1: to so miserable a plight. Alas said the other. It
26:35
Speaker 1: was love, love, the comfort of the human species, the
26:39
Speaker 1: preserver of the universe, the soul of all sensible things, Love,
26:46
Speaker 1: tender love, Alas said Candide, I know this love, that
26:53
Speaker 1: sovereign of hearts, that soul of our souls. Yet it
26:57
Speaker 1: never cost me more than a kiss, and he kicks
27:00
Speaker 1: on the backside. How could this beautiful cause produce in
27:04
Speaker 1: you an effect so abominable? Pangloss made answer in these terms. Oh,
27:11
Speaker 1: my dear Candide, you remember Paquet, that pretty wench who
27:17
Speaker 1: waited on our noble baroness in her arms. I tasted
27:22
Speaker 1: the delights of paradise, which produced in me those held
27:27
Speaker 1: torments with which you see me devoured. She was infected
27:31
Speaker 1: with them. She is perhaps dead of them. This present
27:37
Speaker 1: Paquette received of a learned gray friar, who had traced
27:41
Speaker 1: it to its source. He had had it of an
27:44
Speaker 1: old countess who had received it from a cavalry captain,
27:48
Speaker 1: who owed it to a marchioness who took it from
27:51
Speaker 1: a page who had received it from a Jesuit, who,
27:55
Speaker 1: when a novice, had it in a direct line from
27:58
Speaker 1: one of the companions of Christopher Columbus. For my part,
28:03
Speaker 1: I shall give it to nobody. I am dying, Oh Pangloss,
28:08
Speaker 1: cried Candide, what a strange genealogy is not the devil
28:12
Speaker 1: the original stock of it? Not at all? Replied this
28:16
Speaker 1: great man. It was a thing unavoidable, a necessary ingredient
28:21
Speaker 1: in the best of worlds. For if Columbus had not,
28:25
Speaker 1: in an island of America caught this disease, which contaminates
28:29
Speaker 1: the source of life, frequently even hinders generation, and which
28:34
Speaker 1: is evidently opposed to the great end of nature, we
28:39
Speaker 1: should have neither chocolate nor koshanel. We are to observe
28:44
Speaker 1: that upon our continent this distemper is like religious controversy
28:49
Speaker 1: confined to a particular spot. The Turks, the Indians, the Persians,
28:55
Speaker 1: the Chinese, the Siamese, the Japanese no nothing of it.
29:00
Speaker 1: But there is a sufficient reason for believing that they
29:04
Speaker 1: will know it in their turn in a few centuries.
29:08
Speaker 1: In the meantime, it has made marvelous progress among us,
29:13
Speaker 1: especially in those great armies composed of honest, well disciplined
29:18
Speaker 1: hirelings who decide the destiny of states. For we may
29:23
Speaker 1: safely affirm that when an army of thirty thousand men
29:28
Speaker 1: fights another of an equal number, there are about twenty
29:33
Speaker 1: thousand of them poxed on each side. Well, this is wonderful,
29:40
Speaker 1: said Candide, But you must get cured alas how can I,
29:45
Speaker 1: said Pangloss. I have not a farthing, my friend, And
29:50
Speaker 1: all over the globe there is no letting of blood,
29:53
Speaker 1: or taking a glister without paying, or somebody paying for you.
29:59
Speaker 1: These last words Ward's determined Candide. He went and flung
30:03
Speaker 1: himself at the feet of the charitable Anabaptist James, and
30:07
Speaker 1: gave him so touching a picture of the state, to
30:10
Speaker 1: which his friend was reduced that the good man did
30:13
Speaker 1: not scruple to take doctor Pangloss into his house and
30:17
Speaker 1: had him cured at his expense. In the cure, Pangloss
30:21
Speaker 1: lost only an eye and an ear. He wrote well
30:24
Speaker 1: and knew arithmetic perfectly. The Anabaptist James made him his
30:29
Speaker 1: book keeper. At the end of two months, being obliged
30:32
Speaker 1: to go to Lisbon about some mercantile affairs, he took
30:36
Speaker 1: the two philosophers with him in his ship. Pangloss explained
30:40
Speaker 1: to him how everything was so constituted that it could
30:44
Speaker 1: not be better. James was not of this opinion. It
30:48
Speaker 1: is more likely, said he, mankind have a little corrupted nature,
30:54
Speaker 1: for they were not born wolves, and they have become wolves.
30:59
Speaker 1: God has given them neither canon of four and twenty
31:01
Speaker 1: pounders nor bayonets, and yet they have made cannon and
31:05
Speaker 1: bayonets to destroy one another. Into this account, I might
31:09
Speaker 1: throw not only bankrupts, but justice, which seizes on the
31:13
Speaker 1: effects of bankrupts to cheat the creditors. All this was indispensable,
31:20
Speaker 1: replied the one eyed doctor, For private misfortunes make the
31:24
Speaker 1: general good, so that the more private misfortunes there are,
31:28
Speaker 1: the greater is the general good. While he reasoned, the
31:32
Speaker 1: sky darkened, the winds blew from the four quarters, and
31:37
Speaker 1: the ship was assailed by a most terrible tempest within
31:41
Speaker 1: sight of the port of Lisbon. End Chapter four, Chapter
31:48
Speaker 1: five tempest, shipwreck, earthquake, And what became of Doctor Pangloss, Candide,
31:54
Speaker 1: and James the Anabaptist Half dead of that inconceivable anguish
31:59
Speaker 1: which the rolling of a ship produces. One half of
32:03
Speaker 1: the passengers were not even sensible of the danger. The
32:06
Speaker 1: other half shrieked and prayed. The sheets were rent, the
32:11
Speaker 1: masts broken, the vessel gaped work. Who would no one heard,
32:17
Speaker 1: No one commanded. The Anabaptist, being upon deck, bore a
32:21
Speaker 1: hand when a British sailor struck him roughly and laid
32:24
Speaker 1: him sprawling. But with the violence of the blow, he
32:27
Speaker 1: himself tumbled head foremost overboard and stuck upon a piece
32:32
Speaker 1: of the broken mast. Honest James ran to his assistance,
32:36
Speaker 1: hauled him up, and from the effort he made, was
32:39
Speaker 1: precipitated into the sea in sight of the sailor, who
32:42
Speaker 1: left him to perish without deigning to look at him.
32:46
Speaker 1: Candide drew near and saw his benefactor, who rose above
32:50
Speaker 1: the water one moment and was then swallowed up forever.
32:53
Speaker 1: He was just going to jump after him, but was
32:56
Speaker 1: prevented by the philosopher Pangloss, who demonstrated to him that
33:01
Speaker 1: the Bay of Lisbon had been made on purpose for
33:04
Speaker 1: the Anabaptist to be drowned. While he was proving this
33:08
Speaker 1: a priori, the ship foundered. All perished except Pangloss, Candide,
33:13
Speaker 1: and that brutal sailor who had drowned. The good Anabaptist,
33:17
Speaker 1: the villain swam safely to the shore, while Pangloss and
33:21
Speaker 1: Candide were borne thither upon a plank. As soon as
33:26
Speaker 1: they recovered themselves a little, they walked towards Lisbon. They
33:29
Speaker 1: had some money left with which they hoped to save
33:32
Speaker 1: themselves from starving. After they had escaped drowning, scarcely had
33:37
Speaker 1: they reached the city, lamenting the death of their benefactor,
33:41
Speaker 1: when they felt the earth tremble under their feet. The
33:45
Speaker 1: sea swelled and foamed in the harbor and beat to
33:49
Speaker 1: pieces of vessels riding at anchor. Whirlwinds of fire and
33:53
Speaker 1: ashes covered the streets and public places. Houses fell, roofs
33:58
Speaker 1: were flung upon the pavement, and the pavements were scattered.
34:02
Speaker 1: Thirty thousand inhabitants of all ages and sexes were crushed
34:07
Speaker 1: under the ruins. The sailor, whistling and swearing, said, there
34:12
Speaker 1: was booty to be gained here. What can be the
34:16
Speaker 1: sufficient reason of this phenomenon? Said Pangloss, This is the
34:21
Speaker 1: last day, cried Candide. The sailor ran among the ruins,
34:26
Speaker 1: facing death to find money. Finding it, he took it,
34:30
Speaker 1: got drunk, and having slept himself sober purchased the favors
34:34
Speaker 1: of the first good natured Wench, whom he met on
34:37
Speaker 1: the ruins of the destroyed houses, and in the midst
34:41
Speaker 1: of the dying and the dead. Pangloss pulled him by
34:45
Speaker 1: the sleeve. My friend, he said, this is not right.
34:49
Speaker 1: You sin against a universal reason. You choose your time badly.
34:55
Speaker 1: Splodden fury answered the other. I'm a sailor, and bonn
35:00
Speaker 1: in Batavia four times. If I trampled upon the crucifix
35:04
Speaker 1: in four voyages to Japan, a fig for thy universal reason,
35:10
Speaker 1: some falling stones had wounded Kandide. He lay stretched in
35:14
Speaker 1: the street, covered with rubbish. Alas he said to Pangloss,
35:18
Speaker 1: get me a little wine and oil. I am dying.
35:22
Speaker 1: This concussion of the earth is no new thing, answered Pangloss.
35:27
Speaker 1: The city of Lima in America experienced the same convulsions
35:31
Speaker 1: last year, the same cause, the same effects. There is
35:36
Speaker 1: certainly a train of sulfur underground from Lima to Lisbon.
35:41
Speaker 1: Nothing more probable, said Kandide. But for the love of God,
35:46
Speaker 1: a little oil and wine, how probable, replied the philosopher,
35:51
Speaker 1: I maintain that the point is capable of being demonstrated.
35:55
Speaker 1: Candide fainted away, and Pangloss fetched him some water from
35:59
Speaker 1: a nigh fountain. The following day, they rummaged among the
36:03
Speaker 1: ruins and found provisions with which they repaired their exhausted strength.
36:08
Speaker 1: After this they joined with others in relieving those inhabitants
36:12
Speaker 1: who had escaped death. Some whom they had succored, gave
36:16
Speaker 1: them as good a dinner as they could in such
36:19
Speaker 1: disastrous circumstances. True, the repast was mournful, and the company
36:24
Speaker 1: moistened their bread with tears, but Pangloss consoled them, assuring
36:29
Speaker 1: them that things could not be otherwise, For he said,
36:34
Speaker 1: all that is is for the best. If there is
36:38
Speaker 1: a volcano at Lisbon, it cannot be elsewhere. It is
36:42
Speaker 1: impossible that things should be other than they are, for
36:47
Speaker 1: everything is right. A little man dressed in black, familiar
36:52
Speaker 1: of the inquisition, who sat by him, politely took up
36:56
Speaker 1: his word and said, apparently, then, sir, you do not
37:00
Speaker 1: believe in original sin. For if all is for the best,
37:05
Speaker 1: there has been neither fall nor punishment. I humbly ask
37:10
Speaker 1: your excellency's pardon, answered Pangloss, still more politely, For the
37:15
Speaker 1: fall and curse of man necessarily entered into the system
37:20
Speaker 1: of the best of worlds, Sir, said the Familiar. You
37:24
Speaker 1: do not then believe in liberty, Your excellency will excuse me,
37:29
Speaker 1: said Pangloss. Liberty is consistent with absolute necessity. For it
37:35
Speaker 1: was necessary we should be free, for in short, the
37:38
Speaker 1: determinate will. Pangloss was in the middle of his sentence
37:42
Speaker 1: when the Familiar beckoned to his footman, who gave him
37:45
Speaker 1: a glass of wine from Porto or a portho end
37:50
Speaker 1: Chapter five, Chapter six, How the Portuguese made a beautiful
37:55
Speaker 1: auto da fe to prevent any further earthquakes, and how
38:00
Speaker 1: Candide was publicly whipped after the earthquake had destroyed three
38:05
Speaker 1: forths of Lisbon. The sages of that country could think
38:08
Speaker 1: of no means more effectual to prevent utter ruin than
38:12
Speaker 1: to give the people a beautiful auto daffay. For it
38:15
Speaker 1: had been decided by the University of Cimbria that the
38:19
Speaker 1: burning of a few people alive by a slow fire
38:22
Speaker 1: and with great ceremony is an infallible secret to hinder
38:26
Speaker 1: the earth from quaking. In consequence hereof they had seized
38:31
Speaker 1: on a biscayner convicted of having married his godmother and
38:35
Speaker 1: on two Portuguese for rejecting the bacon which larded a
38:39
Speaker 1: chicken they were eating. After dinner, they came and secured
38:43
Speaker 1: doctor Pangloss and his disciple Candide, the one for speaking
38:47
Speaker 1: his mind, the other for having listened with an air
38:50
Speaker 1: of approbation. They were conducted to separate apartments, extremely cold,
38:56
Speaker 1: as they were never incommoded by the sun. Eight days after,
39:00
Speaker 1: they were dressed in san benitos and their heads ornamented
39:03
Speaker 1: with paper miters. The miter and san benito belonging to
39:07
Speaker 1: Candide were painted with reversed flames and with devils that
39:12
Speaker 1: had neither tails nor claws, But Panglosses devils had claws
39:17
Speaker 1: and tails, and the flames were upright. They marched in
39:20
Speaker 1: procession thus habited, and heard a very pathetic sermon followed
39:25
Speaker 1: by fine church music. Candide was whipped in cadence while
39:29
Speaker 1: they were singing. The biscayner and the two men who
39:32
Speaker 1: had refused to eat bacon were burnt, and Pangloss was hanged,
39:36
Speaker 1: though that was not the custom. The same day the
39:40
Speaker 1: earth sustained a most violent concussion. Candide terrified, amazed, desperate,
39:48
Speaker 1: all bloody, all palpitating, said to himself, if this is
39:54
Speaker 1: the best of possible worlds, what then are the others? Well?
39:59
Speaker 1: If I had been only whipped, I could put up
40:02
Speaker 1: with it, for I experienced that among the Bulgarians. But oh,
40:06
Speaker 1: my dear Pangloss, thou greatest of philosophers, that I should
40:11
Speaker 1: have seen you hanged without knowing? For what, o, my
40:16
Speaker 1: dear Anna Baptist, thou best of men, that thou shouldst
40:20
Speaker 1: have been drowned in the very harbor. Oh miss Cunegonde,
40:26
Speaker 1: thou pearl of girls, that thou shouldst have had thy
40:30
Speaker 1: belly ripped open. Thus he was musing, scarce able to
40:35
Speaker 1: stand preached at, whipped, absolved and blessed, when an old
40:40
Speaker 1: woman accosted him, saying, my son, take courage and follow me.
40:48
Speaker 1: End Chapter six, Chapter seven, How the old woman took
40:53
Speaker 1: care of Candide and how he found the object he loved.
40:58
Speaker 1: Candide did not take courage, but followed the old woman
41:02
Speaker 1: to a decayed house, where she gave him a part
41:05
Speaker 1: of pomatum to anoint his sores, showed him a very
41:08
Speaker 1: neat little bed with a suit of clothes hanging up,
41:12
Speaker 1: and left him something to eat and drink. Eat, drink, sleep,
41:16
Speaker 1: said she, and may our Lady of Attuca, the great
41:20
Speaker 1: Saint Antony of Padua, and the Great Saint James of
41:24
Speaker 1: Compostela received you under their protection. I shall be back tomorrow. Candide,
41:31
Speaker 1: amazed at all he had suffered, and still more with
41:34
Speaker 1: the charity of the old woman, wished to kiss her hand.
41:37
Speaker 1: It is not my hand you must kiss, said the
41:40
Speaker 1: old woman. I shall be back tomorrow. Anoint yourself with
41:44
Speaker 1: the pomatum. Eat and sleep, Candide, notwithstanding so many disasters,
41:51
Speaker 1: ate and slept. The next morning, the old woman brought
41:54
Speaker 1: him his breakfast, looked at his back, and rubbed it
41:57
Speaker 1: herself with another ointment. In like manner, she brought him
42:01
Speaker 1: his dinner, and at night she returned with his supper.
42:05
Speaker 1: The day following she went through the very same ceremonies.
42:09
Speaker 1: Who are you, said Candide, who has inspired you with
42:13
Speaker 1: so much goodness? What return can I make you? The
42:16
Speaker 1: good woman made no answer. She returned in the evening,
42:20
Speaker 1: but brought no supper. Come with me, she said, and
42:25
Speaker 1: say nothing. She took him by the arm and walked
42:28
Speaker 1: with him about a quarter of a mile into the country.
42:31
Speaker 1: They arrived at a lonely house surrounded with gardens and canals.
42:36
Speaker 1: The old woman knocked at a little door. It opened.
42:39
Speaker 1: She led Candide up a private staircase into a small
42:44
Speaker 1: apartment richly furnished. She left him on a brocaded sofa,
42:49
Speaker 1: shut the door and went away. Candide thought himself in
42:54
Speaker 1: a dream, indeed, that he had been dreaming unluckily all
42:57
Speaker 1: his life, and that the present moment was the only
43:01
Speaker 1: agreeable part of it all. The old woman returned very soon,
43:05
Speaker 1: supporting with difficulty a trembling woman of a majestic figure,
43:10
Speaker 1: brilliant with jewels and covered with a veil. Take off
43:14
Speaker 1: that veil, said the old woman to Candide. The young
43:17
Speaker 1: man approaches. He raises the veil with a timid hand.
43:21
Speaker 1: Oh what a moment, what surprise. He believes he beholds
43:26
Speaker 1: miss Cunegonde. He really sees her, it is herself. His
43:31
Speaker 1: strength fails him. He cannot utter a word, but drops
43:35
Speaker 1: at her feet. Cunegonda falls upon the sofa. The old
43:38
Speaker 1: woman supplies a smelling bottle. They come to themselves and
43:43
Speaker 1: recover their speech, as they began, with broken accents, with
43:47
Speaker 1: questions and answers, interchangeably interrupted with sighs, with tears and cries.
43:54
Speaker 1: The old woman desired they would make less noise, and
43:57
Speaker 1: then she left them to themselves. What is it, you said, Candide,
44:03
Speaker 1: you live, I find you again in Portugal. Then you
44:07
Speaker 1: have not been ravished. Then they did not rip open
44:10
Speaker 1: your belly, as doctor Pangloss informed me. Yes they did,
44:14
Speaker 1: said the beautiful Cunegonde. But those two accidents are not
44:18
Speaker 1: always mortal. But were your father and mother killed? It
44:22
Speaker 1: is but true, answered Cunegonde in tears. And your brother,
44:27
Speaker 1: My brother was also killed. And why are you in Portugal?
44:31
Speaker 1: And how did you know of my being here? And
44:33
Speaker 1: by what strange adventure did you contrive to bring me
44:36
Speaker 1: to this house. I will tell you all that, replied
44:39
Speaker 1: the lady, But first of all, let me know your history,
44:42
Speaker 1: since the innocent kiss you gave me and the kicks
44:45
Speaker 1: which you received. Candide respectfully obeyed her, and though he
44:49
Speaker 1: was still in a surprise, though his voice was feeble
44:52
Speaker 1: and trembling, though his back still pained him, yet he
44:56
Speaker 1: gave her a most ingenuous account of everything that had
45:00
Speaker 1: befallen him since the moment of their separation. Cunegonde lifted
45:05
Speaker 1: up her eyes to heaven, shed tears upon hearing of
45:08
Speaker 1: the death of the Good Anabaptist, and of Pangloss, after
45:12
Speaker 1: which she spoke as follows to Candide, who did not
45:15
Speaker 1: lose a word and devoured her with his eyes. End
45:21
Speaker 1: Chapter seven, Chapter eight, The History of Cunegonde. I was
45:27
Speaker 1: in bed fast asleep when it pleased God to send
45:30
Speaker 1: the Bulgarians to our delightful castle of thunder tin trunk.
45:34
Speaker 1: They slew my father and brother and cut my mother
45:37
Speaker 1: in pieces. A tall bulgarian six feet high, perceiving that
45:41
Speaker 1: I had fainted away at this sight, began to ravish me.
45:45
Speaker 1: This made me recover. I regained my senses. I cried,
45:49
Speaker 1: I struggled, I bit, I scratched. I wanted to tear
45:52
Speaker 1: out the tall Bulgarian's eyes, not knowing that what happened
45:56
Speaker 1: at my father's house was the usual practice of war.
46:00
Speaker 1: The brute gave me a cut in the left side
46:02
Speaker 1: with his hanger, and the mark is still upon me. Ah,
46:05
Speaker 1: I hope I shall see it, said honest Candide, you shall,
46:09
Speaker 1: said Cunegonde. But let us continue do so, replied Candide.
46:14
Speaker 1: Thus she resumed the thread of her story. A Bulgarian
46:18
Speaker 1: captain came in saw me all bleeding, and the soldier
46:22
Speaker 1: not in the least disconcerted. The captain flew into a
46:25
Speaker 1: passion at the disrespectable behavior of the brute and slew
46:29
Speaker 1: him on my body. He ordered my wounds to be
46:33
Speaker 1: dressed and took me to his quarters as a prisoner
46:36
Speaker 1: of war. I washed the few shirts that he had.
46:40
Speaker 1: I did his cooking. He thought me very pretty, he
46:44
Speaker 1: avowed it. On the other hand, I must own he
46:47
Speaker 1: had a good shape and a soft and white skin.
46:51
Speaker 1: But he had little or no mind or philosophy, and
46:54
Speaker 1: you might see plainly that he had never been instructed
46:57
Speaker 1: by doctor Pangloss. In three month's time, having lost all
47:02
Speaker 1: his money and being grown tired of my company, he
47:06
Speaker 1: sold me to a Jew named don Isakar, who traded
47:10
Speaker 1: to Holland and Portugal and had a strong passion for women.
47:14
Speaker 1: This Jew was much attached to my person, but could
47:17
Speaker 1: not triumph over it. I resisted him better than the
47:21
Speaker 1: Bulgarian soldier. A modest woman may be ravished once, but
47:26
Speaker 1: her virtue is strengthened by it. In order to render
47:29
Speaker 1: me more tractable, he brought me to his country house.
47:33
Speaker 1: Hitherto I had imagined that nothing could equal the beauty
47:36
Speaker 1: of thunder Tin Trunk Castle. But I found I was mistaken.
47:41
Speaker 1: The Grand Inquisitor, seeing me one day at Mass, stared
47:45
Speaker 1: long at me and sent to tell me that he
47:48
Speaker 1: wished to speak on private matters. I was conducted to
47:52
Speaker 1: his palace, where I acquainted him with the history of
47:55
Speaker 1: my family, and he represented to me how much it
47:58
Speaker 1: was beneath my rafe to belong to an Israelite. A
48:02
Speaker 1: proposal was then made to Donisika that he should resign
48:06
Speaker 1: me to my Lord. Donisika, being the court banker and
48:10
Speaker 1: man of credit, would hear nothing of it. The Inquisitor
48:14
Speaker 1: threatened him with an auto d'a fay. At last, my Jew, intimidated,
48:18
Speaker 1: concluded a bargain by which the house and myself should
48:22
Speaker 1: belong to both in common. The Jew should have for
48:25
Speaker 1: himself Monday, Wednesday and Saturday, and the Inquisitor should have
48:30
Speaker 1: the rest of the week. It is now six months
48:33
Speaker 1: since this agreement was made. Quarrels have not been wanting,
48:36
Speaker 1: for they could not decide whether the night from Saturday
48:39
Speaker 1: to Sunday belonged to the old law or to the new.
48:43
Speaker 1: For my part, I have so far held out against both,
48:46
Speaker 1: and I verily believe that this is the reason why
48:49
Speaker 1: I am still beloved. At length to avert the scourge
48:54
Speaker 1: of earthquakes and to intimidate Donisika, my lord Inquisitor was
48:58
Speaker 1: pleased to celebrate, and otto d'affay, he did me the
49:02
Speaker 1: honor to invite me to the ceremony. I had a
49:05
Speaker 1: very good seat, and the ladies were served with refreshments.
49:08
Speaker 1: Between mass and the execution. I was, in truth seized
49:12
Speaker 1: with horror at the burning of those two Jews, and
49:16
Speaker 1: of the honest miss Kayner, who had married his godmother.
49:19
Speaker 1: But what was my surprise, my fright, my trouble. When
49:23
Speaker 1: I saw in a San Benito and miter a figure
49:27
Speaker 1: which resembled that of Pangloss, I rubbed my eyes, I
49:31
Speaker 1: looked at him attentively. I saw him hung. I fainted
49:37
Speaker 1: scarcely had I recovered my senses that I saw you, stripped,
49:41
Speaker 1: stark naked. And this was the height of my horror, consternation, grief,
49:46
Speaker 1: and despair. I tell you truthfully that your skin is
49:51
Speaker 1: yet whiter and of a more perfect color than that
49:55
Speaker 1: of my Bulgarian captain. This spectacle redoubled all the feeling
50:00
Speaker 1: which overwhelmed and devoured me. I screamed out and would
50:04
Speaker 1: have said stop barbarians, but my voice failed me, and
50:09
Speaker 1: my cries would have been useless. After you had been
50:11
Speaker 1: severely whipped. How is it possible, said I, that the
50:15
Speaker 1: beloved Candide and the wise Pangloss should both be at Lisbon,
50:21
Speaker 1: the one to receive a hundred lashes and the other
50:24
Speaker 1: to be hanged by the Grand Inquisitor of whom I am.
50:27
Speaker 1: The well beloved Pangloss most cruelly deceived me when he
50:32
Speaker 1: said that everything in the world is for the best. Agitated, lost,
50:37
Speaker 1: sometimes beside myself, and sometimes ready to die of weakness.
50:42
Speaker 1: My mind was filled with the massacre of my father, mother,
50:46
Speaker 1: and brother, with the insolence of the ugly Bulgarian soldier,
50:50
Speaker 1: with the stab that he gave me, with my servitude
50:54
Speaker 1: under the Bulgarian captain, with my hideous don Issachar, with
50:59
Speaker 1: my abominable inquisitor, with the execution of doctor Pangloss, with
51:03
Speaker 1: the grand miserare to which they whipped you, and especially
51:08
Speaker 1: with the kiss I gave you behind the screen the
51:11
Speaker 1: day that I had last seen you. I praised God
51:15
Speaker 1: for bringing you back to me after so many trials,
51:18
Speaker 1: And I charged my old woman to take care of
51:21
Speaker 1: you and to conduct you hither as soon as possible.
51:24
Speaker 1: She has executed her commission perfectly well. I have tasted
51:28
Speaker 1: the inexpressible pleasure of seeing you again, of hearing you,
51:33
Speaker 1: of speaking with you. But you must be hungry. For myself,
51:37
Speaker 1: I am famished. Let us have supper. They both sat
51:41
Speaker 1: down to table, and when supper was over, they placed
51:44
Speaker 1: themselves once more on the sofa where they were when
51:48
Speaker 1: Signor Don Isachar arrived. It was the Jewish Sabbath, and
51:52
Speaker 1: Isachar had come to enjoy his rights and to explain
51:56
Speaker 1: his tender love. And Chapter eight, Chapter nine, what became
52:03
Speaker 1: of Cuneganda Candide, the Grand Inquisitor and the Jew? This
52:09
Speaker 1: Issachar was the most choleric Hebrew that had ever been
52:13
Speaker 1: seen in Israel since the captivity in Babylon. What said
52:18
Speaker 1: he thou, bitch of a Galilean, was not the inquisitor
52:22
Speaker 1: enough for thee? Must this rascal also share with me
52:26
Speaker 1: in saying this? He drew a long poniard, which he
52:29
Speaker 1: always carried about him, and, not imagining that his adversary
52:33
Speaker 1: had any arms, he threw himself upon Candide, But our
52:37
Speaker 1: honest Westphalian had received a handsome sword from the old
52:41
Speaker 1: woman along with the suit of clothes. He drew his
52:45
Speaker 1: rapier despite his gentleness, and laid the Israelite stone dead
52:49
Speaker 1: upon the cushions at Cunegonda's feet. Holy Virgin cried, she,
52:55
Speaker 1: what will become of us a man killed in my apartment?
52:59
Speaker 1: If the officers of justice come, we are lost. Had
53:03
Speaker 1: not Pangloss been hanged, said Candide, he would have given
53:06
Speaker 1: us good counsel in this emergency, for he was a
53:09
Speaker 1: profound philosopher. Failing him, let us consult the old woman.
53:15
Speaker 1: She was very prudent and commenced to give her opinion.
53:19
Speaker 1: When suddenly another little door opened. It was an hour
53:23
Speaker 1: after midnight. It was the beginning of Sunday. This day
53:29
Speaker 1: belonged to my Lord the Inquisitor. He entered and saw
53:33
Speaker 1: the whipped Candide sword in hand, a dead man on
53:36
Speaker 1: the floor, Cunegonda aghast, and the old woman giving counsel.
53:41
Speaker 1: At this moment, the following is what passed in the
53:44
Speaker 1: soul of Candide, and how he reasoned, if this holy
53:48
Speaker 1: man call in assistance, he will surely have me burnt
53:52
Speaker 1: and Cunegonda will perhaps be served in the same manner.
53:56
Speaker 1: He was the cause of my being cruelly whipped. He
53:59
Speaker 1: is my right, and as I have now begun to kill,
54:03
Speaker 1: I will kill away, for there is no time to hesitate.
54:07
Speaker 1: This reasoning was clear and instantaneous, so that, without giving
54:11
Speaker 1: time to the inquisitor to recover from his surprise, he
54:14
Speaker 1: pierced him through and through and cast him beside. The
54:18
Speaker 1: Jew here again, said Cunegonde. Now there is no mercy
54:23
Speaker 1: for us. We are excommunicated. Our last hour has come.
54:28
Speaker 1: How could you do it? You naturally so gentle to
54:32
Speaker 1: slay a Jew and a prelate in two minutes, My
54:36
Speaker 1: beautiful young lady, responded Candide. When one is a lover,
54:41
Speaker 1: jealous and whipped by the inquisition, one stops at nothing.
54:45
Speaker 1: The old woman then put in her words, saying, there
54:49
Speaker 1: are three and the Lucian horses in the stable, with
54:52
Speaker 1: bridles and saddles. Let the brave Candide get them ready.
54:56
Speaker 1: Madam has money jewels. Let us therefore, quickly on horseback,
55:01
Speaker 1: though I can sit only on one buttock, let us
55:04
Speaker 1: set out for Kadiz. It is the finest weather in
55:07
Speaker 1: the world, and there is great pleasure in traveling in
55:11
Speaker 1: the cool of the night. Immediately, Candide saddled the three horses,
55:16
Speaker 1: and Cunegonda, the old woman, and he traveled thirty miles
55:20
Speaker 1: at a stretch. While they were journeying, the Holy Brotherhood
55:24
Speaker 1: entered the house. My Lord. The inquisitor was interred in
55:27
Speaker 1: a handsome church, and Isakar's body was thrown upon a dunghill. Candide,
55:32
Speaker 1: Cunaganda and the old woman had now reached the little
55:36
Speaker 1: town of Avacena, in the midst of the mountains of
55:39
Speaker 1: the Sierra Morena, and were speaking as follows in a
55:42
Speaker 1: public inn. End Chapter nine, Chapter ten, in what distress,
55:49
Speaker 1: Candide Cunaganda and the old woman arrived at Kadiz and
55:54
Speaker 1: of their embarkation. Who was it that ropped me of
55:58
Speaker 1: my money and jewels? Said kunagar Ganda, all bathed in tears.
56:01
Speaker 1: How shall we live? What shall we do? Well? Find
56:05
Speaker 1: inquisitors or Jews who will give me more? Aless? Said
56:10
Speaker 1: the old woman. I have a shrewd suspicion of a
56:13
Speaker 1: Reverend Gray Friar, who stayed last night in the same
56:16
Speaker 1: inn with us at Padajos. God preserve me from judging rashly,
56:21
Speaker 1: But he came into our room twice, and he set
56:24
Speaker 1: out upon his journey long before us. Alas said Candide,
56:29
Speaker 1: dear Pangloss has often demonstrated to me that the goods
56:32
Speaker 1: of this world are common to all men, and that
56:35
Speaker 1: each has an equal right to them. But according to
56:38
Speaker 1: these principles, the gray Friar ought to have left us
56:42
Speaker 1: enough to carry us through our journey. Have you nothing
56:45
Speaker 1: at all left, my dear Cunegonde, not a farthing, said she?
56:49
Speaker 1: What then must we do, said Candide. Sail one of
56:53
Speaker 1: the horses, replied the old woman. I will ride behind,
56:57
Speaker 1: Miss Cunegonda, although I can hold myself only on one buttock,
57:01
Speaker 1: and we shall reach Cadiz in the same inn. There
57:05
Speaker 1: was a Benedictine prior who bought the horse for a
57:08
Speaker 1: cheap price. Candide, Cunegonda and the old woman, having passed
57:12
Speaker 1: through Lucena, Chilas, and Lebrixa, arrived at length in Cadiz.
57:18
Speaker 1: A fleet was there getting ready, and troops assembling to
57:21
Speaker 1: bring to reason the Reverend Jesuit Fathers of Paraguay, accused
57:26
Speaker 1: of having made one of the native tribes in the
57:28
Speaker 1: neighborhood of San sacrament revolt against the Kings of Spain
57:32
Speaker 1: and Portugal. Candide, having been in the Bulgarian service, performed
57:36
Speaker 1: the military exercise before the generalist little Army with so
57:40
Speaker 1: graceful an address, with so intrepid an air, and with
57:43
Speaker 1: such agility and expedition, that he was given the command
57:47
Speaker 1: of a company a foot. Now he was a captain.
57:50
Speaker 1: He set sail with Miss Cunaganda, the old woman, two valets,
57:55
Speaker 1: and the two Andalusian horses which had belonged to the
57:58
Speaker 1: Grand Inquisitor of Portugal. During their voyage, they reasoned a
58:02
Speaker 1: good deal on the philosophy of poor Pangloss. We are
58:06
Speaker 1: going into another world, said Candide, and surely it must
58:10
Speaker 1: be there that all is for the best. For I
58:13
Speaker 1: must confess there is reason to complain a little of
58:17
Speaker 1: what passeth in our world, in regard to both natural
58:20
Speaker 1: and moral philosophy. I love you with all my heart,
58:24
Speaker 1: said Cunegonde, but my soul is still full of fright
58:28
Speaker 1: at that which I have seen and experienced. All will
58:32
Speaker 1: be well, replied Candide. The sea of this new world
58:36
Speaker 1: is already better than our European sea. It is calmer,
58:40
Speaker 1: the winds more regular, it is certainly the New World,
58:43
Speaker 1: which is the best of all possible worlds. God grant it,
58:48
Speaker 1: said Cunegonde. But I have been so horribly unhappy there
58:52
Speaker 1: that my heart is almost closed to hope. You complain,
58:57
Speaker 1: said the old woman. Aless, you have not known such
59:00
Speaker 1: misfortunes as mine. Cunegonda almost broke out laughing, finding the
59:06
Speaker 1: good woman very amusing for pretending to have been as
59:09
Speaker 1: unfortunate as she. Alas, said Cunegonde, my good mother, unless
59:15
Speaker 1: you have been ravished by two Bulgarians, have received two
59:20
Speaker 1: deep wounds in your belly, have had two castles demolished,
59:25
Speaker 1: have had two mothers cut to pieces before your eyes,
59:29
Speaker 1: and two of your lovers whipped at an auto da fey.
59:33
Speaker 1: I do not conceive how you could be more unfortunate
59:37
Speaker 1: than I. Add that I was born a baroness of
59:41
Speaker 1: seventy two quarterings and have been a cook. Miss replied
59:48
Speaker 1: the old woman. You do not know my birth, and
59:52
Speaker 1: were I to show you my backside, you would not
59:55
Speaker 1: talk in that manner, but would suspend your judgment. This
1:00:00
Speaker 1: speech having raised extreme curiosity in the minds of Cunegonde
1:00:05
Speaker 1: and Candide, the old woman spoke to them as follows
1:00:11
Speaker 1: end Chapter ten, Chapter eleven, History of the Old Woman.
1:00:18
Speaker 1: I hate not always bleared eyes and the red eyelids.
1:00:23
Speaker 1: Neither did my nose always touch my chin, nor was
1:00:27
Speaker 1: I always a servant. I am the daughter of Pope
1:00:31
Speaker 1: Urban the tenth and of the Princess of Palestrina. Until
1:00:36
Speaker 1: the age of fourteen. I was brought up in a
1:00:39
Speaker 1: palace to which all the castles of your German barons
1:00:43
Speaker 1: would scarcely have served for stables, and one of my
1:00:47
Speaker 1: robes was worth more than all the magnificence of Westphalia.
1:00:52
Speaker 1: As I grew up, I improved in beauty, wit, and
1:00:56
Speaker 1: every graceful accomplishment. In the midst of pleasure, hopes and
1:01:01
Speaker 1: respectful homage, already I inspired love. My throat was formed,
1:01:07
Speaker 1: and such a throat, white, firm, shaped like that of
1:01:12
Speaker 1: the Venus of Medici. And what eyes, what eye leads,
1:01:17
Speaker 1: what black eyebrows? Such flames darted from my dark pupils
1:01:22
Speaker 1: that they eclipsed the scintillation of the stars. As I
1:01:26
Speaker 1: was told by the poets. In our part of the world,
1:01:30
Speaker 1: my waiting women, when dressing and undressing me, used to
1:01:34
Speaker 1: fall into an ecstasy. Whether they viewed me before or behind.
1:01:39
Speaker 1: How glad would the gentleman have been to perform that
1:01:43
Speaker 1: office for them. I was a fianced to the most
1:01:47
Speaker 1: excellent Prince of MASSACARAA such a prince as handsome as myself,
1:01:53
Speaker 1: sweet tempered, agreeable, brilliantly, witty, and sparkling with love. I
1:02:00
Speaker 1: loved him as one loves for the first time, with idolatry,
1:02:04
Speaker 1: with transport, the nuptiles were prepared. There was surprising pomp
1:02:10
Speaker 1: and magnificence. There were feats, Carousau's continual opera buff and
1:02:16
Speaker 1: all Italy composed sonnets in my praise, though not one
1:02:21
Speaker 1: of them was passable. I was just upon the point
1:02:25
Speaker 1: of reaching the summit of bliss when an old marchioness,
1:02:28
Speaker 1: who had been mistress to the prince my husband, invited
1:02:32
Speaker 1: him to drink chocolate with her. He died in less
1:02:35
Speaker 1: than two hours of most terrible convulsions. But this is
1:02:40
Speaker 1: only a bagatelle. My mother, in despair and scarcely less
1:02:44
Speaker 1: afflicted than myself, determined to absent herself for some time
1:02:49
Speaker 1: from so fatal a plates. She had a very fine
1:02:52
Speaker 1: estate in the neighborhood of Gaeta. We embarked on board
1:02:56
Speaker 1: a galley of the country, which was gilded like the
1:02:59
Speaker 1: great of Saint Peter's at Rome. As sale corsair swooped
1:03:04
Speaker 1: down and boardered us, our men defended themselves like the
1:03:08
Speaker 1: Pope's soldiers. They flung themselves upon their knees and threw
1:03:12
Speaker 1: down their arms, begging of the corsair an absolution inarticulo mortis.
1:03:18
Speaker 1: Instantly they were stripped as baar as monkeys. My mother,
1:03:22
Speaker 1: our maids of honor, and myself were all served in
1:03:25
Speaker 1: the same manner. It is amazing with what expedition those
1:03:29
Speaker 1: gentry undress people. But what surprised me most was that
1:03:33
Speaker 1: they thrust their fingers into the part of our bodies,
1:03:36
Speaker 1: which the generality of women suffered no other instrument but
1:03:40
Speaker 1: pipes to enter. It appeared to me a very strange
1:03:44
Speaker 1: kind of ceremony, but thus one judges of things when
1:03:48
Speaker 1: one has not seen the world. I afterwards learned that
1:03:52
Speaker 1: it was to try whether we had concealed any diamonds.
1:03:56
Speaker 1: This is the practice established from time immemorial among civilized
1:04:01
Speaker 1: nations that scoured the seas. I was informed that the
1:04:05
Speaker 1: very religious knights of Malta never failed to make this search.
1:04:09
Speaker 1: When they take any Turkish prisoners of either sex. It
1:04:12
Speaker 1: is a law of nations from which they never deviate.
1:04:17
Speaker 1: I need not tell you how great a hardship it
1:04:20
Speaker 1: was for a young princess and her mother to be
1:04:23
Speaker 1: made slaves and carried to Morocco. You may easily imagine
1:04:28
Speaker 1: all we had to suffer on board the pirate vessel.
1:04:31
Speaker 1: My mother was still very handsome, Our maids of honor,
1:04:34
Speaker 1: and even our waiting women had more charms than are
1:04:38
Speaker 1: to be found in all Africa. As for myself, I
1:04:42
Speaker 1: was ravishing was exquisite grace itself, and I was a virgin.
1:04:48
Speaker 1: I did not remain so long. This flower, which had
1:04:52
Speaker 1: been reserved for the handsome Prince of Massacara, was plocked
1:04:57
Speaker 1: by the Corsair captain. I was an abominable Negro, and
1:05:02
Speaker 1: yet believed that he did me a great deal of honor. Certainly,
1:05:06
Speaker 1: the Princess of Palestrina and myself must have been very
1:05:09
Speaker 1: strong to go through all that we experienced until our
1:05:13
Speaker 1: arrival in Morocco. But let us pass on. These are
1:05:17
Speaker 1: such common things as not to be worth mentioning. Morocco
1:05:22
Speaker 1: swam in blood when we arrived. Fifty sons of the
1:05:27
Speaker 1: Emperor Mulei Ismael had each their adherents. This produced fifty
1:05:32
Speaker 1: civil wars of blacks against blacks, and blacks against Tonys,
1:05:37
Speaker 1: and townis against Tonys, and Mulattos against Mulattos. In short,
1:05:43
Speaker 1: it was a continual carnage throughout the empire. No sooner
1:05:48
Speaker 1: were we landed than the blacks of a contrary faction
1:05:51
Speaker 1: to that of my captain attempted to rob him of
1:05:54
Speaker 1: his booty. Next to jewels and gold, we were the
1:05:57
Speaker 1: most valuable things he had witness to such a battle
1:06:02
Speaker 1: as you have never seen in your European climates. The
1:06:05
Speaker 1: northern nations have not that heat in their blood, nor
1:06:09
Speaker 1: that raging lust for women so common in Africa. It
1:06:13
Speaker 1: seems that you Europeans have only milk in your veins.
1:06:17
Speaker 1: But it is vitriol. It is fire which runs in
1:06:20
Speaker 1: those of the inhabitants of Mount Atlas and the neighboring countries.
1:06:25
Speaker 1: They fought with the fury of the lions, tigers and
1:06:29
Speaker 1: serpents of the country to see who should have us
1:06:33
Speaker 1: Amor seized my mother by the right arm, while my
1:06:36
Speaker 1: captain's lieutenant held her by the left. A Moorish soldier
1:06:40
Speaker 1: had hold of her by one leg, and one of
1:06:42
Speaker 1: our coresails held her by the other. Thus almost all
1:06:46
Speaker 1: our women were drawn in quarters by four men. My
1:06:50
Speaker 1: captain concealed me behind him, and with his drawn cimitar,
1:06:54
Speaker 1: cut and slashed every one that opposed his fury. At length,
1:06:58
Speaker 1: I saw all our Italian women, and my mother herself torn, mangled,
1:07:04
Speaker 1: massacred by the monsters who disputed over them. The slaves,
1:07:09
Speaker 1: my companions, those who had taken them, soldiers, sailors, blacks,
1:07:13
Speaker 1: white mulattoes, and at last my captain all were killed,
1:07:18
Speaker 1: and I remained dying on a heap of dead. Such
1:07:22
Speaker 1: scenes as this were transacted through an extent of three
1:07:26
Speaker 1: hundred leagues, and yet they never missed the five prayers
1:07:31
Speaker 1: a day ordained by Mohammed. With difficulty, I disengaged myself
1:07:37
Speaker 1: from such a heap of slaughtered bodies and crawled to
1:07:41
Speaker 1: a large orange tree on the bank of a neighboring ribulet,
1:07:45
Speaker 1: where I fell oppressed with fright, fatigue, horror, despair, and hunger.
1:07:52
Speaker 1: Immediately after, my senses, overpowered, gave themselves up to sleep,
1:07:58
Speaker 1: which was yet more so wounding than repose. I was
1:08:02
Speaker 1: in this state of weakness and insensibility between life and death.
1:08:07
Speaker 1: When I felt myself pressed by something that moved upon
1:08:12
Speaker 1: my body, I opened my eyes and saw a white
1:08:16
Speaker 1: man of good countenance, who sighed, and who said between
1:08:21
Speaker 1: his teeth, O chsiagura decere censa coglioni d. Chapter eleven,
1:08:29
Speaker 1: Chapter twelve. The Adventures of the Old Woman continued, Astonished
1:08:35
Speaker 1: and delighted to hear my native language, and no less
1:08:39
Speaker 1: surprise at what this man said. I made answer that
1:08:42
Speaker 1: there were much greater misfortunes than that of which he complained.
1:08:47
Speaker 1: I told him in a few words of the horrors
1:08:50
Speaker 1: which I had endured, and fainted a second time. He
1:08:54
Speaker 1: carried me to a neighboring house, put me to bed,
1:08:57
Speaker 1: gave me food, waited on me, console old me, flattered me.
1:09:01
Speaker 1: He told me that he had never seen any one
1:09:04
Speaker 1: so beautiful as I, and that he never so much
1:09:08
Speaker 1: regretted the loss of what it was impossible to recover.
1:09:12
Speaker 1: I was born at Naples, said he deadly galed two
1:09:16
Speaker 1: or three thousand children. Every year. Some die of the operation,
1:09:21
Speaker 1: others acquire a voice more beautiful than that of women,
1:09:24
Speaker 1: and others are raised to offices of state. This operation
1:09:29
Speaker 1: was performed on me with great success, and I was
1:09:33
Speaker 1: chapel musician to Madam the Princess of Palestrina. To my
1:09:38
Speaker 1: mother cried I your mother, cried he weeping. What can
1:09:44
Speaker 1: you be, that young princess whom I brought up until
1:09:48
Speaker 1: the age of six years, and who promised so early
1:09:52
Speaker 1: to be as beautiful as you? It is I, indeed,
1:09:57
Speaker 1: but my mother lies four hundred yards hints, torn in quarters,
1:10:02
Speaker 1: under a heap of dead bodies. I told him all
1:10:06
Speaker 1: my adventures, and he made me acquainted with his telling
1:10:10
Speaker 1: me that he had been sent to the Emperor of
1:10:12
Speaker 1: Morocco by a Christian power to conclude a treaty with
1:10:16
Speaker 1: that prince, in consequence of which he was to be
1:10:19
Speaker 1: furnished with military stores and ships to help to demolish
1:10:24
Speaker 1: the commerce of other Christian governments. My mission is done,
1:10:29
Speaker 1: said the honest eunuch. I go to embark for Ceuta,
1:10:33
Speaker 1: and I will take you to Italy. Marchesiagura de siri
1:10:39
Speaker 1: sinza COLPIONI. I thanked him with tears of commiseration, and
1:10:44
Speaker 1: instead of taking me to Italy, he conducted me to Algiers,
1:10:48
Speaker 1: where he sold me to the day scarcely was I sold,
1:10:52
Speaker 1: and the plague, which had made the tour of Africa,
1:10:55
Speaker 1: Asia and Europe, broke out with great malignancy in Algiae.
1:11:00
Speaker 1: You have seen earthquakes, but pray, miss, have you ever
1:11:04
Speaker 1: seen the plague? Never answered Cunegonde. If you head, said
1:11:11
Speaker 1: the old woman, you would acknowledge that it is far
1:11:15
Speaker 1: more terrible than an earthquake. It is common in Africa,
1:11:20
Speaker 1: and I caught it. Imagine to yourself the distressed situation
1:11:25
Speaker 1: of the daughter of a pope only fifteen years old,
1:11:30
Speaker 1: who in less than three months had felt the miseries
1:11:34
Speaker 1: of poverty and slavery, had been ravished almost every day,
1:11:40
Speaker 1: had beheld her mother drawn in quarters, had experienced famine
1:11:44
Speaker 1: and war, and was dying of the plague in Algiers.
1:11:50
Speaker 1: I did not die, however, but my eunuch, and the day,
1:11:56
Speaker 1: and almost the whole serraglio of algierssht. As soon as
1:12:01
Speaker 1: the first fury of this terrible pestilence was over, a
1:12:05
Speaker 1: sale was made of the day's slaves. I was purchased
1:12:09
Speaker 1: by a merchant and carried to Tunis. This man sold
1:12:13
Speaker 1: me to another merchant, who sold me again to another
1:12:16
Speaker 1: at Tripoli. From Tripoli. I was sold to Alexandria, from
1:12:20
Speaker 1: Alexandria to Smyrna, and from Smyrna to Constantinople. At length,
1:12:25
Speaker 1: I became the property of an aga of the Janissaries,
1:12:29
Speaker 1: who was soon ordered away to the defense of Azov,
1:12:33
Speaker 1: then besieged by the Russians. The Aka, who was very
1:12:38
Speaker 1: gallant men, took his hulls Raglio with him and lodged
1:12:42
Speaker 1: us in a small fort on the Palace Meotides, guarded
1:12:47
Speaker 1: by two black eunuchs and twenty soldiers. The Turks killed
1:12:52
Speaker 1: prodigious numbers of the Russians, but the latter had their revenge.
1:12:56
Speaker 1: Azov was destroyed by fire, the inhabitants put to the sword.
1:13:01
Speaker 1: Neither sex nor age was spared, until there remained only
1:13:06
Speaker 1: our little fort, and the enemy wanted to starve us out.
1:13:10
Speaker 1: The twenty janissaries had sworn they would never surrender. The
1:13:14
Speaker 1: extremities of famine to which they were reduced obliged them
1:13:18
Speaker 1: to eat our two eunuchs for fear of violating their oath,
1:13:22
Speaker 1: and at the end of a few days they resolved
1:13:25
Speaker 1: also to devour the women. We had a very pious
1:13:29
Speaker 1: and humane emon who preached an excellent sermon, exhorting them
1:13:34
Speaker 1: not to kill us all at once. Only cut off
1:13:38
Speaker 1: a buttercuff each of those ladies, said he, and you'll
1:13:42
Speaker 1: fare extremely well if you must go to it again.
1:13:46
Speaker 1: There will be the same entertainment a few days. Hence,
1:13:50
Speaker 1: Heaven will accept of so charitable an action and send
1:13:54
Speaker 1: your relief. He had great eloquence he persuaded them. We
1:13:59
Speaker 1: underwent this terrible operation. The iman applied the same balsam
1:14:03
Speaker 1: to us as he does to children after circumcision, and
1:14:07
Speaker 1: we all nearly died. Scarcely had the janissaries finished the
1:14:12
Speaker 1: repast with which we had furnished them, than the Russians
1:14:16
Speaker 1: came in flat bottom boats. Not a janissary escaped. The
1:14:21
Speaker 1: Russians paid no attention to the condition we were in.
1:14:24
Speaker 1: There are French surgeons in all parts of the world.
1:14:27
Speaker 1: One of them, who was very clever, took us under
1:14:30
Speaker 1: his care. He cured us, and as long as I live,
1:14:34
Speaker 1: I shall remember that as soon as my wounds were healed,
1:14:37
Speaker 1: he made proposals to me. He bid us all be
1:14:41
Speaker 1: of good cheer, telling us that the like had happened
1:14:45
Speaker 1: in many sieges, and that it was according to the
1:14:49
Speaker 1: laws of war. As soon as my companions could walk,
1:14:53
Speaker 1: they were obliged to set out for Moscow. I fell
1:14:56
Speaker 1: to the share of a boyard, who made me his
1:14:59
Speaker 1: guide dinner and gave me twenty lashes a day. But
1:15:03
Speaker 1: this nobleman, having in two years time, been broke upon
1:15:07
Speaker 1: the wheel along with thirty more boyoids for some broils
1:15:11
Speaker 1: at court, I profited by that event. I fled. I
1:15:15
Speaker 1: traversed all Russia. It was a long time an in
1:15:19
Speaker 1: holder's servant at Riga, the same at Rostock, at Wismar,
1:15:23
Speaker 1: at Leipzig, at Castle, at Utrecht, at Leiden, at the
1:15:27
Speaker 1: Hague at Rotterdam. I waxed old in misery and disgrace,
1:15:33
Speaker 1: having only one half of my posteriors, and always remembering
1:15:38
Speaker 1: I was a pope's daughter. A hundred times I was
1:15:42
Speaker 1: upon the point of killing myself, but still I loved life.
1:15:48
Speaker 1: This ridiculous foible is perhaps one of our most fatal characteristics.
1:15:54
Speaker 1: For is there anything more absurd than to wish to
1:15:58
Speaker 1: carry continuus a burden which one can always throw down
1:16:04
Speaker 1: to detest existence, and yet to cling to one's existence
1:16:10
Speaker 1: in brief to caress the serpent which devours us. Till
1:16:16
Speaker 1: he has eaten our very heart. In the different countries
1:16:21
Speaker 1: which it has been my lot to traverse, and the
1:16:24
Speaker 1: numerous inns where I have been servant, I have taken
1:16:27
Speaker 1: notice of a vast number of people who held their
1:16:31
Speaker 1: own existence in abhorrence. And yet I never knew of
1:16:35
Speaker 1: more than eight who voluntarily put an end to their misery.
1:16:40
Speaker 1: Three Negroes, four Englishmen, and a German professor and Roebeck.
1:16:45
Speaker 1: I ended by being servant to the Jew don Isachar,
1:16:49
Speaker 1: who placed me near your presence. My fair lady, I
1:16:54
Speaker 1: am determined to share your fate, and have been much
1:16:58
Speaker 1: more affected with your misfortunes than with my own. I
1:17:03
Speaker 1: would never even have spoken to you of my misfortunes
1:17:07
Speaker 1: had you not piqued me a little. And if it
1:17:09
Speaker 1: were not customary to tell stories on board a ship
1:17:13
Speaker 1: in order to pass away the time. In short, miss Cunegonde,
1:17:18
Speaker 1: I have had experience. I know the world. Therefore I
1:17:24
Speaker 1: advise you to divert yourself and prevail upon each passenger
1:17:29
Speaker 1: to tell his story. And if there be one of
1:17:32
Speaker 1: them all that has not cursed his life many a time,
1:17:36
Speaker 1: that has not frequently looked upon himself as the unhappiest
1:17:41
Speaker 1: of mortals. I give you leave to throw me head
1:17:44
Speaker 1: foremost into the sea. End Chapter twelve. Chapter thirteen, how
1:17:51
Speaker 1: Candide was forced away from his fair Cunaganda and the
1:17:55
Speaker 1: old woman. The beautiful Cunaganda, having heard the old woman's history,
1:18:00
Speaker 1: paid her all the civilities due to a person of
1:18:03
Speaker 1: her rank and merit. She likewise accepted her proposal and
1:18:07
Speaker 1: engaged all the passengers one after the other to relate
1:18:11
Speaker 1: their adventures. And then both she and Candide allowed that
1:18:16
Speaker 1: the old woman was in the right. It is a
1:18:19
Speaker 1: great pity, said Candide, that the sage Pangloss was hanged
1:18:24
Speaker 1: contrary to custom at an Auto da Fey. He would
1:18:27
Speaker 1: tell us most amazing things in regard to the physical
1:18:31
Speaker 1: and moral evils that overspread the earth and sea. And
1:18:35
Speaker 1: I should be able, with due respect to make a
1:18:38
Speaker 1: few objections. While each passenger was recounting his story, the
1:18:43
Speaker 1: ship made her way. They landed at Buenos Aires, Cunegonda.
1:18:48
Speaker 1: Captain Candide and the old Woman waited on the governor
1:18:51
Speaker 1: Don Fernando Dibaro I Figeroa Imascarenas I Lampordos Isusa. This
1:18:58
Speaker 1: nobleman had a stateliness becoming a person who bore so
1:19:03
Speaker 1: many names. He spoke to men with so noble a disdain,
1:19:08
Speaker 1: carried his nose, so loftily, raised his voice, so unmercifully,
1:19:14
Speaker 1: assumed so imperious an air, and stalked with such intolerable pride,
1:19:20
Speaker 1: that those who saluted him were strongly inclined to give
1:19:24
Speaker 1: him a good drubbing. Cunegonde appeared to him the most
1:19:28
Speaker 1: beautiful he had ever met. The first thing he did
1:19:31
Speaker 1: was to ask whether she was not the captain's wife.
1:19:35
Speaker 1: The manner in which he asked the question alarmed Candide.
1:19:38
Speaker 1: He durst not say she was his wife, because indeed
1:19:42
Speaker 1: she was not. Neither durst he say she was his sister,
1:19:46
Speaker 1: because it was not so. And although this obliging lie
1:19:50
Speaker 1: had been formerly much in favor among the ancients, and
1:19:53
Speaker 1: although it could be useful to the moderns, his soul
1:19:56
Speaker 1: was too pure to betray the truth. Miss kun Ganda said,
1:20:00
Speaker 1: he is to do me the honor to marry me,
1:20:03
Speaker 1: and we beseech your excellency to deign to sanction our marriage.
1:20:08
Speaker 1: Don Fernando dibara i figoi mascarenasi lampourds issusa, turning up
1:20:15
Speaker 1: his Mustachios smiled mockingly and ordered Captain Candide to go
1:20:22
Speaker 1: and review his company. Candid obeyed, and the governor remained
1:20:26
Speaker 1: alone with Miss Cunegonda. He declared his passion, protesting he
1:20:31
Speaker 1: would marry her the next day in the face of
1:20:34
Speaker 1: the church, or otherwise, just as should be agreeable to herself.
1:20:39
Speaker 1: Cuneganda asked a quarter of an hour to consider of it,
1:20:44
Speaker 1: to consult the old woman and to take her resolution.
1:20:47
Speaker 1: The old woman spoke thus to Cuneganda, mis you have
1:20:52
Speaker 1: seventy two quarterings and not a farthing. It is now
1:20:56
Speaker 1: in your power to be wife to the greatest lord
1:20:59
Speaker 1: in South America, who has very beautiful moustachios. Is it
1:21:04
Speaker 1: for you to pique yourself upon inviolable fidelity? You have
1:21:09
Speaker 1: been ravished by Bulgarians, a jew and an inquisitor have
1:21:13
Speaker 1: enjoyed your favors. Misfortune gives sufficient excuse. I own that
1:21:19
Speaker 1: if I were in your place, I should have no
1:21:21
Speaker 1: scruple in marrying the Governor and in making the fortune
1:21:25
Speaker 1: of Captain Candide. While the old woman spoke with all
1:21:29
Speaker 1: the prudence which age and experience gave, a small ship
1:21:33
Speaker 1: entered the port. On board of which were an alcalde
1:21:37
Speaker 1: and his alguazils. And this was what had happened, as
1:21:42
Speaker 1: the old woman had shrewdly guessed, it was a gray
1:21:45
Speaker 1: friar who stole Cuneganda's money and jewels in the town
1:21:49
Speaker 1: of Badajos. When she and Candide were escaping, the friar
1:21:53
Speaker 1: wanted to sell some of the diamonds to a jeweler.
1:21:55
Speaker 1: The jeweler knew them to be the Grand Inquisitors. The friar,
1:22:00
Speaker 1: for he was hanged, confessed he had stolen them. He
1:22:03
Speaker 1: described the persons and the route they had taken. The
1:22:07
Speaker 1: flight of Cunaganda and Candide was already known. They were
1:22:11
Speaker 1: traced to Kadiz. A vessel was immediately sent in pursuit
1:22:15
Speaker 1: of them. The vessel was already in the port of
1:22:17
Speaker 1: Buenos Aires. The report spread that the Alcalda was going
1:22:21
Speaker 1: to land, and that he was in pursuit of the
1:22:24
Speaker 1: murderers of my lord, the Grand Inquisitor. The prudent old
1:22:28
Speaker 1: woman saw at once what was to be done. You
1:22:31
Speaker 1: cannot run away, she said to Cunaganda, and you have
1:22:35
Speaker 1: nothing to fear, for it was not you that killed
1:22:38
Speaker 1: my lord. Besides the governor who loves you will not
1:22:42
Speaker 1: suffer you to be ill treated. Therefore stay. She then
1:22:46
Speaker 1: ran immediately to Candide, fly said she or in an
1:22:50
Speaker 1: hour you will be burnt. There was not a moment
1:22:54
Speaker 1: to lose. But how could he part from Cunegonda, and
1:22:57
Speaker 1: where could he flee for shelter? End Chapter thirteen, Chapter fourteen,
1:23:04
Speaker 1: How Candide and Cacambo were received by the Jesuits of Paraguay.
1:23:10
Speaker 1: Candide had brought such a valet with him from Cadiz,
1:23:13
Speaker 1: as one often meets with on the coasts of Spain
1:23:16
Speaker 1: and in the American colonies. He was a quarter Spaniard
1:23:20
Speaker 1: born of a mongorel in Tucuman. He had been singing boy,
1:23:24
Speaker 1: sacristan sailor, monk, peddler, soldier, and lackey. His name was Cacumbo,
1:23:31
Speaker 1: and he loved his master because his master was a
1:23:34
Speaker 1: very good man. He quickly saddled the two Andalusian horses.
1:23:40
Speaker 1: Come master, let us follow the old woman's advice. Let
1:23:43
Speaker 1: us start and run without looking behind us. Candide shed tears,
1:23:48
Speaker 1: Oh my dear Cunegonde, must I leave you? Just at
1:23:52
Speaker 1: a time when the governor was going to sanction our nuptials.
1:23:56
Speaker 1: Cunegonde brought to such a distance, what will become of you?
1:24:01
Speaker 1: She will do as well as she can, said Cacambo.
1:24:04
Speaker 1: The women are never at a loss. God provides for them.
1:24:07
Speaker 1: Let us run whither art thout carrying me? Where shall
1:24:12
Speaker 1: we go? What shall we do without Cunegonde, said Candide.
1:24:17
Speaker 1: By Saint James of Compostella said, Cacambo, you were going
1:24:21
Speaker 1: to fight against the Jesuits. Let us go to fight
1:24:24
Speaker 1: for them. I know the road well. I'll conduct you
1:24:27
Speaker 1: to their kingdom, where they will be charmed to have
1:24:29
Speaker 1: a captain that understands the Bulgarian exercise. You'll make a
1:24:33
Speaker 1: prodigious fortune. If we cannot find our account in one world,
1:24:38
Speaker 1: we shall in another. It is a great pleasure to
1:24:41
Speaker 1: see and do new things. You have before been in Paraguay, then,
1:24:45
Speaker 1: said Candide. Ay sure, answered Cacambo. I was servant in
1:24:50
Speaker 1: the College of the Assumption, and of acquainted with the
1:24:52
Speaker 1: government of the Good Fathers, as well as I am
1:24:55
Speaker 1: with the streets of Cadiz. It is an admirable government.
1:24:58
Speaker 1: The kingdom is upwards of three hundred leagues in diameter
1:25:01
Speaker 1: and divided into thirty provinces. There the Fathers possess all
1:25:06
Speaker 1: and the people nothing. It is a masterpiece of reason
1:25:09
Speaker 1: and justice. For my part, I see nothing so divine
1:25:12
Speaker 1: as the fathers who here make war upon the kings
1:25:16
Speaker 1: of Spain and Portugal, and in Europe confessed those kings
1:25:19
Speaker 1: who here kill Spaniards and in Madrid send them to heaven.
1:25:24
Speaker 1: This delights me. Let us push forward. You are going
1:25:27
Speaker 1: to be the happiest of mortals. What pleasure will it
1:25:30
Speaker 1: be to those fathers to hear that a captain who
1:25:33
Speaker 1: knows the Bulgarian exercise has come to them. As soon
1:25:37
Speaker 1: as they reached the first barrier, Cacambo told the advanced
1:25:40
Speaker 1: guard that a captain wanted to speak with my lord
1:25:43
Speaker 1: the commandant. Notice was given to the main guard, and
1:25:47
Speaker 1: immediately a Paraguayan officer ran and laid himself at the
1:25:50
Speaker 1: feet of the commandant to impart this news to him.
1:25:54
Speaker 1: Candide and Cacambo were disarmed and their two Andalusian horses seized.
1:25:59
Speaker 1: The strange were introduced between two files of musketeers. The
1:26:03
Speaker 1: commandant was at the further end, with the three cornered
1:26:06
Speaker 1: cap on his head, his gown tucked up, a sword
1:26:10
Speaker 1: by his side, and a spontoon in his hand, he beckoned,
1:26:14
Speaker 1: and straightway the newcomers were encompassed by four and twenty soldiers.
1:26:19
Speaker 1: A sergeant told them they must wait, that the commandant
1:26:22
Speaker 1: could not speak to them, and that the Reverend Father
1:26:25
Speaker 1: Provincial does not suffer any Spaniard to open his mouth
1:26:30
Speaker 1: but in his presence, or to stay above three hours
1:26:33
Speaker 1: in the province. And where is the Reverend Father Provincial,
1:26:37
Speaker 1: said Cacambo. He is upon the parade, just after celebrating mass,
1:26:44
Speaker 1: answered the sergeant. And you cannot kiss his spurs till
1:26:49
Speaker 1: three hours. Hence, however, said Cacambo, the captain is not
1:26:53
Speaker 1: a Spaniard but a German. He is ready to perish
1:26:56
Speaker 1: with hunger as well as myself. Cannot we have something
1:26:59
Speaker 1: for breakfast while we wait for his reverence. The sergeant
1:27:02
Speaker 1: went immediately to acquaint the commandant with what he had heard.
1:27:06
Speaker 1: God be praised, said the Reverend Commandant. Since he is
1:27:11
Speaker 1: a German, I may speak to him. Take him to
1:27:14
Speaker 1: my arbor. Candide was at once conducted to a beautiful
1:27:19
Speaker 1: summer house, ornamented with a very pretty colonnade of green
1:27:24
Speaker 1: and gold marble, and with trellises enclosing paraquets humming birds,
1:27:29
Speaker 1: fly birds, guinea hens, and all other rare birds. An
1:27:34
Speaker 1: excellent breakfast was provided in vessels of gold, and while
1:27:38
Speaker 1: the Paraguayans were eating maize out of wooden dishes in
1:27:42
Speaker 1: the open fields and exposed to the heat of the sun,
1:27:46
Speaker 1: the Reverend Father commandant retired to his arbor. He was
1:27:50
Speaker 1: a very handsome young man, with a full face, white
1:27:54
Speaker 1: skin but high in color. He had an arched eyebrow,
1:27:57
Speaker 1: a lively eye, red ears, the million lips, a bold air,
1:28:03
Speaker 1: but such a boldness as neither belonged to a Spaniard
1:28:06
Speaker 1: nor a Jesuit. They returned their arms to Candide and Cacambo,
1:28:11
Speaker 1: and also the two Andalusian horses, to whom Cacambo gave
1:28:15
Speaker 1: some oats to eat just by the arbor, having an
1:28:18
Speaker 1: eye upon them all the while, for fear of a surprise.
1:28:22
Speaker 1: Candide first kissed the hymn of the Commandant's robe. Then
1:28:26
Speaker 1: they sat down to table. You are, then, a German,
1:28:29
Speaker 1: said the Jesuit to him in that language, Yes, Reverend Father,
1:28:33
Speaker 1: answered Candide. As they pronounced these words, they looked at
1:28:37
Speaker 1: each other with great amazement and with such an emotion
1:28:41
Speaker 1: as they could not conceal, and from what part of
1:28:44
Speaker 1: Germany do you come, said the Jesuit. I am from
1:28:48
Speaker 1: the dirty province of Westphalia, answered Candide. I was born
1:28:52
Speaker 1: in the castle of thunder Tin Trunk. Oh heavens, is
1:28:57
Speaker 1: it possible, cried the commandant. What a miracle, cried Candide.
1:29:03
Speaker 1: Is it really you? Said the commandant. It is not possible,
1:29:07
Speaker 1: said Candide. They drew back, they embraced, They shed rivulets
1:29:13
Speaker 1: of tears. What is it you, reverend father, You the
1:29:16
Speaker 1: brother of the fair Cunegonda, You that was slain by
1:29:20
Speaker 1: the Bulgarians, You the baron's son, You a Jesuit in Paraguay.
1:29:27
Speaker 1: I must confess. This is a strange world that we
1:29:30
Speaker 1: live in. Oh, pangloss, pangloss. How glad you would be
1:29:35
Speaker 1: if you had not been hanged. The commandant sent away
1:29:38
Speaker 1: the Negro slaves and the Paraguayans who served them with
1:29:42
Speaker 1: liquors in goblets of rock crystal. He thanked God and
1:29:46
Speaker 1: Saint Ignatius a thousand times. He clasped Candide in his arms,
1:29:51
Speaker 1: and their faces were all bathed in tears. You will
1:29:55
Speaker 1: be more surprised, more affected and transported, said cand Indeed,
1:30:00
Speaker 1: when I tell you that Cunegonde, your sister, whom you
1:30:03
Speaker 1: believe to have been ripped open, is in perfect health
1:30:07
Speaker 1: where in your neighborhood with the governor of Buenos Aires.
1:30:12
Speaker 1: And I was going to fight against you every word
1:30:15
Speaker 1: which they uttered in this long conversation, but added wonder
1:30:20
Speaker 1: to wonder. Their souls fluttered on their tongues, listened in
1:30:24
Speaker 1: their ears, and sparkled in their eyes. As they were Germans.
1:30:29
Speaker 1: They sat a good while at table waiting for the
1:30:32
Speaker 1: reverend father Provincial, and the Commandant spoke to his dear
1:30:36
Speaker 1: Candide as follows end Chapter fourteen, Chapter fifteen, how Candide
1:30:45
Speaker 1: killed the brother of his dear Cunegonde. I shall have
1:30:49
Speaker 1: ever present to my memory the dreadful day on which
1:30:53
Speaker 1: I saw my father and mother killed and my sister ravished.
1:30:58
Speaker 1: When the Bulgarians retiredared, my dear sister could not be found,
1:31:03
Speaker 1: but my mother, my father, and myself, with two maid
1:31:06
Speaker 1: servants and three little boys, all of whom had been slain,
1:31:10
Speaker 1: were put in a hearse to be conveyed for interment
1:31:14
Speaker 1: to a chapel belonging to the Jesuit. Within two leagues
1:31:17
Speaker 1: of our family seat. A Jesuit sprinkled us with some
1:31:21
Speaker 1: holy water. It was horribly salt. A few drops of
1:31:24
Speaker 1: it fell into my eyes. The father perceived that my
1:31:28
Speaker 1: eyelids stirred a little. He put his hand upon my
1:31:31
Speaker 1: heart and felt it beat. I received assistance, and at
1:31:35
Speaker 1: the end of three weeks I recovered. You know, my
1:31:39
Speaker 1: dear Candide, I was very pretty, but I grew much prettier,
1:31:43
Speaker 1: and the Reverend Father Didrie, superior of that house, conceived
1:31:47
Speaker 1: the tenderest friendship for me. He gave me the habit
1:31:51
Speaker 1: of the order. Some years after I was sent to Rome,
1:31:54
Speaker 1: the Father General needed new levies of young German Jesuits.
1:31:59
Speaker 1: The sovereigns of Paraguay admit as few Spanish Jesuits as possible.
1:32:03
Speaker 1: They prefer those of other nations as being more subordinate
1:32:07
Speaker 1: to their commands. I was judged fit by the Reverend
1:32:11
Speaker 1: Father General to go and work in this vineyard. We
1:32:15
Speaker 1: set out a pole, a tyrrelise, and myself upon my arrival,
1:32:20
Speaker 1: I was honored with a sub deaconship and a lieutenancy.
1:32:24
Speaker 1: I am to day colonel and priest. We shall give
1:32:28
Speaker 1: a warm reception to the King of Spain's troops. I
1:32:31
Speaker 1: will answer for it that they shall be excommunicated and
1:32:35
Speaker 1: well beaten. Providence sends you here to assist us. But
1:32:39
Speaker 1: is it indeed true that my dear sister Cunegonde is
1:32:43
Speaker 1: in the neighborhood with the governor of Buenos Aires. Candide
1:32:47
Speaker 1: assured him on oath that nothing was more true, and
1:32:51
Speaker 1: their tears began afresh. The baron could not refrain from
1:32:55
Speaker 1: embracing Candide. He called him his brother, his savior. Ah perhaps,
1:33:01
Speaker 1: said he, we shall, together, my dear Candide, enter the
1:33:06
Speaker 1: town as conquerors and recover my sister Cunegonde. That is
1:33:11
Speaker 1: all I want, said Candide, for I intend to marry her,
1:33:15
Speaker 1: and I still hope to do so. You, insolent, replied
1:33:18
Speaker 1: the baron, would you have the impudence to marry my
1:33:21
Speaker 1: sister who has seventy two quarterings? I find thou hast
1:33:25
Speaker 1: the most consummate effrontery to dare to mention so presumptuous
1:33:30
Speaker 1: a design. Candide, petrified at this speech, made answer, Reverend Father,
1:33:35
Speaker 1: all the quarterings in the world signify nothing. I rescued
1:33:39
Speaker 1: your sister from the arms of a Jew and of
1:33:42
Speaker 1: an inquisitor. She has great obligations to me. She wishes
1:33:47
Speaker 1: to marry me. Master Pangloss always told me that all
1:33:51
Speaker 1: men are equal, and certainly I will marry her. We
1:33:55
Speaker 1: shall see that, thou scoundrel, said the jesuit baronditt under
1:34:00
Speaker 1: tin trunk, and that instant struck him across the face
1:34:03
Speaker 1: with the flat of his sword. Candide, in an instant,
1:34:06
Speaker 1: drew his rapier and plunged it up to the hilt
1:34:09
Speaker 1: in the jesuit's belly. But in pulling it out, reeking heart,
1:34:13
Speaker 1: he burst into tears. Good God, said he, I have
1:34:19
Speaker 1: killed my old master, my friend, my brother in law.
1:34:23
Speaker 1: I am the best natured creature in the world, and
1:34:27
Speaker 1: yet I have already killed three men. And of these
1:34:30
Speaker 1: three two were priests. Cacambo, who stood sentry by the
1:34:35
Speaker 1: door of the arbor, ran to him. We have nothing
1:34:38
Speaker 1: more for it than to sell our lives as dearly
1:34:40
Speaker 1: as we can, said his master to him. Without doubt,
1:34:44
Speaker 1: some one will soon enter the arbor, and we must
1:34:47
Speaker 1: die sword in hand. Cacambo, who had been in a
1:34:51
Speaker 1: great many scrapes in his lifetime, did not lose his head.
1:34:55
Speaker 1: He took the baron's jesuit habit, put it on. Candide
1:34:59
Speaker 1: gave him the square cap and made him mount on horseback.
1:35:03
Speaker 1: All this was done in the twinkling of an eye.
1:35:06
Speaker 1: Let us gallop fast, master, everybody will take you for
1:35:09
Speaker 1: a jesuit. Going to give directions to your men, and
1:35:12
Speaker 1: we shall have passed the frontiers before they will be
1:35:15
Speaker 1: able to overtake us. He flew as he spoke these words,
1:35:18
Speaker 1: crying aloud in Spanish. Make way, make way for the
1:35:22
Speaker 1: reverend father Colonel end Chapter fifteen, Chapter sixteen, Adventures of
1:35:30
Speaker 1: the Two Travelers with two girls, two monkeys, and the
1:35:34
Speaker 1: savages called o'rylons. Candide and his valet had got beyond
1:35:40
Speaker 1: the barrier before it was known in the camp that
1:35:43
Speaker 1: the German jesuit was dead. The wary Cacambo had taken
1:35:47
Speaker 1: care to fill his wallet with bread, chocolate, bacon, fruit,
1:35:51
Speaker 1: and a few bottles of wine. With their Andalusian horses,
1:35:55
Speaker 1: they penetrated into an unknown country, where they perceived no
1:35:59
Speaker 1: beaten track. At length, they came to a beautiful meadow
1:36:03
Speaker 1: intersected with purling rills. Here our two adventurers fed their horses.
1:36:08
Speaker 1: Cacambo proposed to his master to take some food, and
1:36:12
Speaker 1: he set him an example. How can you ask me
1:36:15
Speaker 1: to eat? Ham said Candide, after killing the baron's son
1:36:20
Speaker 1: and being doomed nevermore to see the beautiful Cunegonda. What
1:36:25
Speaker 1: will it avail me to spin out my wretched days
1:36:28
Speaker 1: and drag them far from her in remorse and despair?
1:36:34
Speaker 1: And what will the journal of Trevo say? While he
1:36:37
Speaker 1: was thus lamenting his fate? He went on eating. The
1:36:41
Speaker 1: sun went down. The two wanderers heard some little cries
1:36:45
Speaker 1: which seemed to be uttered by women. They did not
1:36:49
Speaker 1: know whether they were cries of pain or joy, but
1:36:52
Speaker 1: they started up precipitately with that inquietude and alarm which
1:36:57
Speaker 1: every little thing inspires in an unknown country. The noise
1:37:03
Speaker 1: was made by two naked girls who tripped along the mead,
1:37:07
Speaker 1: while two monkeys were pursuing them and biting their buttocks.
1:37:12
Speaker 1: Candide was moved with pity. He had learned to fire
1:37:15
Speaker 1: a gun in the Bulgarian service, and he was so
1:37:18
Speaker 1: clever at it that he could hit a filbert in
1:37:20
Speaker 1: a hedge without touching a leaf of the tree. He
1:37:24
Speaker 1: took up his double barreled Spanish fusel, let it off,
1:37:27
Speaker 1: and killed the two monkeys. God be praised, my dear Cacambo,
1:37:32
Speaker 1: I have rescued those two poor creatures from a most
1:37:36
Speaker 1: perilous situation. If I have committed a sin in killing
1:37:39
Speaker 1: an inquisitor and a jesuit, I have made ample amends
1:37:43
Speaker 1: by saving the lives of these girls. Perhaps they are
1:37:46
Speaker 1: young ladies of family, and this adventure may procure us
1:37:50
Speaker 1: great advantages in this country. He was continuing, but stopped
1:37:54
Speaker 1: short when he saw the two girls tenderly embracing the monkeys,
1:37:59
Speaker 1: bathing their bodies in tears, and rending the air with
1:38:03
Speaker 1: the most dismal lamentations. Little did I expect to see
1:38:08
Speaker 1: such good nature, said he at length to Cacambo, who
1:38:12
Speaker 1: made answer, Master, you have done a fine thing. Now
1:38:16
Speaker 1: you have slain the sweethearts of those two young ladies,
1:38:19
Speaker 1: the sweethearts. Is it possible you are jesting, Cacambo. I
1:38:24
Speaker 1: can never believe it, Dear Masta, replied Cacambo, you are
1:38:28
Speaker 1: surprised at everything. Why should you think it so strange
1:38:32
Speaker 1: that in some countries there are monkeys which insinuate themselves
1:38:36
Speaker 1: into the good graces of the ladies. They are a
1:38:39
Speaker 1: fourth part human, as I am a fourth part spaniard.
1:38:42
Speaker 1: Alas replied Candide, I remember to have heard Master Pangloss
1:38:47
Speaker 1: say that formerly such accidents used to happen, that these
1:38:51
Speaker 1: mixtures were productive of centaurs, fawns and satyrs, and that
1:38:55
Speaker 1: many of the ancients had seen such monsters. But I
1:38:59
Speaker 1: looked upon them as a whole is fabulous. You ought
1:39:02
Speaker 1: now to be convinced, said Cacambo, that it is the truth.
1:39:05
Speaker 1: And you see what use is made of those creatures
1:39:08
Speaker 1: by persons that have not had a proper education. All
1:39:12
Speaker 1: I fear is that those ladies will play us some
1:39:15
Speaker 1: ugly trick. These sound reflections induced Candide to leave the
1:39:19
Speaker 1: meadow and to plunge into a wood. He supped there
1:39:23
Speaker 1: with Cacambo, and after cursing the Portuguese inquisitor, the governor
1:39:27
Speaker 1: of Buenos Aires, and the baron, they fell asleep on moss.
1:39:32
Speaker 1: On awakening, they felt that they could not move, for
1:39:35
Speaker 1: during the night the oriylons, who inhabited that country, and
1:39:39
Speaker 1: to whom the ladies had denounced them, had bound them
1:39:42
Speaker 1: with cords made of the bark of trees. They were
1:39:45
Speaker 1: encompassed by fifty naked orielons armed with bows and arrows,
1:39:50
Speaker 1: with clubs and flint hatchets. Some were making a large
1:39:54
Speaker 1: cauldron boil, others were preparing spits, and all cried, a jesuit,
1:40:00
Speaker 1: a jesuit. We shall be revenged. We shall have excellent cheer.
1:40:04
Speaker 1: Let us eat the jesuit. Let us eat him up.
1:40:07
Speaker 1: I told you, my dear master, cried Cacambo, sadly, that
1:40:10
Speaker 1: those two girls would play us some ugly trick. Candide,
1:40:14
Speaker 1: seeing the cauldron in the spits, cried, we are certainly
1:40:18
Speaker 1: going to be either roasted or boiled. Ah. What would
1:40:21
Speaker 1: Master Pangloss say were he to see how pure nature
1:40:25
Speaker 1: is formed? Everything is right may be, But I declare
1:40:30
Speaker 1: it is very hard to have lost miss Cunegonde and
1:40:33
Speaker 1: to be put on a spit by Oreillan's. Cacambo never
1:40:37
Speaker 1: lost his head. Do not despair, said he to the
1:40:40
Speaker 1: disconsolate Candide. I understand a little of the jargon of
1:40:44
Speaker 1: these people. I will speak to them, be sure, said Candide,
1:40:48
Speaker 1: to represent to them how frightfully inhuman it is to
1:40:51
Speaker 1: cook men, and how very unchristian gentlemen, said Cacambo, you reckon,
1:40:57
Speaker 1: you are to day going to feast upon a jesuit.
1:41:01
Speaker 1: It is all very well. Nothing is more unjust than
1:41:04
Speaker 1: thus to treat your enemies. Indeed, the law of nature
1:41:07
Speaker 1: teaches us to kill our neighbor, and such is to
1:41:10
Speaker 1: practice all over the world. If we do not accustom
1:41:14
Speaker 1: ourselves to eating them, it is because we have better
1:41:18
Speaker 1: fair But you have not the same resources as we.
1:41:22
Speaker 1: Certainly it is much better to devour your enemies than
1:41:25
Speaker 1: to resign to the crows and rooks the fruits of
1:41:28
Speaker 1: your victory. But gentlemen, surely you would not choose to
1:41:32
Speaker 1: eat your friends. You believe that you are going to
1:41:36
Speaker 1: spit a Jesuit, and he is your defender. It is
1:41:39
Speaker 1: the enemy of your enemies that you are going to roast.
1:41:42
Speaker 1: As for myself, I was born in your country. This
1:41:46
Speaker 1: gentleman is my master, and far from being a Jesuit,
1:41:50
Speaker 1: he has just killed one whose spoils he wears. And
1:41:54
Speaker 1: thence comes your mistake to convince you of the truth
1:41:57
Speaker 1: of what I say. Take his habit and carry it
1:42:00
Speaker 1: to the first barrier of the Jesuit kingdom, and inform
1:42:03
Speaker 1: yourselves whether my master did not kill a Jesuit officer.
1:42:07
Speaker 1: It will not take you long, and you can always
1:42:10
Speaker 1: eat us if you find that I have lied to you,
1:42:12
Speaker 1: But I have told the truth. You are too well
1:42:15
Speaker 1: acquainted with the principles of public law, humanity, and justice,
1:42:19
Speaker 1: not to pardon us. The Oriylans found this speech very reasonable.
1:42:25
Speaker 1: They deputed two of their principal people with all expedition
1:42:29
Speaker 1: to inquire into the truth of the matter. These executed
1:42:32
Speaker 1: their commission like men of sense, and soon returned with
1:42:36
Speaker 1: good news. The Oriylans, untied their prisoners, showed them all
1:42:41
Speaker 1: sorts of civilities, offered them girls, gave them refreshment, and
1:42:45
Speaker 1: reconducted them to the confines of their territories, proclaiming with
1:42:49
Speaker 1: great joy, he is no jesuit, He is no jesuit.
1:42:53
Speaker 1: Candide could not help being surprised at the cause of
1:42:57
Speaker 1: his deliverance. Who ought people? Said he, what men? What manners?
1:43:03
Speaker 1: If I had not been so lucky as to run
1:43:05
Speaker 1: Miss Cunegonde's brother through the body, I should have been
1:43:08
Speaker 1: devoured without redemption. But after all, pure nature is good.
1:43:14
Speaker 1: Since these people, instead of feasting upon my flesh, have
1:43:17
Speaker 1: shown me a thousand civilities, when then I was not
1:43:21
Speaker 1: a Jesuit. End Chapter sixteen, Chapter seventeen. Arrival of Candide
1:43:28
Speaker 1: and his valet at El Dorado, and what they saw
1:43:32
Speaker 1: there you'll see, said Cacambo to Candide. As soon as
1:43:37
Speaker 1: they had reached the frontiers of the Orielans. That this
1:43:40
Speaker 1: hemisphere is not better than the others. Take my word
1:43:43
Speaker 1: for it. Let us go back to Europe by the
1:43:46
Speaker 1: shortest way. How go back, said Candide? And where shall
1:43:50
Speaker 1: we go to my own country? The Bulgarians and the
1:43:54
Speaker 1: Abbares are slaying all to Portugal. There I shall be burnt.
1:44:00
Speaker 1: And if we abide here we are every moment in
1:44:03
Speaker 1: danger of being spitted. But how can I resolve to
1:44:07
Speaker 1: quit a part of the world where my dear Cunegonde resides.
1:44:11
Speaker 1: Let us turn towards Cayenne, said Cacambo. There we shall
1:44:15
Speaker 1: find Frenchmen who wander all over the world. They may
1:44:18
Speaker 1: assist us. God will perhaps have pity on us. It
1:44:22
Speaker 1: was not easy to get to Cayenne. They knew vaguely
1:44:26
Speaker 1: in which direction to go, but rivers, precipices, robbers, savages
1:44:31
Speaker 1: obstructed them all the way. Their horses died of fatigue,
1:44:37
Speaker 1: their provisions were consumed. They fed a whole month upon
1:44:42
Speaker 1: wild fruits, and found themselves at last near a little
1:44:46
Speaker 1: river bordered with cocoa trees, which sustained their lives and
1:44:51
Speaker 1: their hopes. Cacambo, who was as good a counselor, as
1:44:54
Speaker 1: the old woman said to Candide, we are able to
1:44:57
Speaker 1: hold out no longer. We have walked enough. I see
1:45:01
Speaker 1: an empty canoe near the riverside. Let us fill it
1:45:04
Speaker 1: with cocoanuts, throw ourselves into it, and go with the current.
1:45:08
Speaker 1: A river always leads to some inhabited spot. If we
1:45:12
Speaker 1: do not find pleasant things, we shall at least find
1:45:15
Speaker 1: new things. With all my heart, said Candide, let us
1:45:19
Speaker 1: recommend ourselves to providence. They rode a few leagues between banks,
1:45:25
Speaker 1: in some places, flowery in others, barren in some parts,
1:45:30
Speaker 1: smooth in others rugged. The stream, ever widened and at
1:45:35
Speaker 1: length lost itself under an arch of frightful rocks, which
1:45:39
Speaker 1: reached to the sky. The two travelers had the courage
1:45:43
Speaker 1: to commit themselves to the current. The river, suddenly contracting
1:45:47
Speaker 1: at this place, whirled them along with a dreadful noise
1:45:50
Speaker 1: and rapidity. At the end of four and twenty hours,
1:45:54
Speaker 1: they saw daylight again, but their canoe was dashed to
1:45:58
Speaker 1: pieces against the rocks. For a league, they had to
1:46:01
Speaker 1: creep from rock to rock, until at length they discovered
1:46:05
Speaker 1: an extensive plain bounded by inaccessible mountains. The country was
1:46:10
Speaker 1: cultivated as much for pleasure as for necessity. On all sides,
1:46:15
Speaker 1: the useful was also the beautiful. The roads were covered,
1:46:20
Speaker 1: or rather adorned, with carriages of a glittering form and substance,
1:46:25
Speaker 1: in which were men and women of surprising beauty, drawn
1:46:29
Speaker 1: by large red sheep, which surpassed in fleetness the finest
1:46:34
Speaker 1: courses in Andalusia, Tetuan, and Mechines. Here, however, is a country,
1:46:41
Speaker 1: said Candide, which is better than Westphalia. He stepped out
1:46:46
Speaker 1: with Cacambo towards the first village, which he saw some
1:46:50
Speaker 1: children dressed in tattered brocades, played at cooits on the outskirts.
1:46:55
Speaker 1: Our travelers from the other world amused themselves by looking.
1:46:58
Speaker 1: On the koil were large round pieces, yellow, red and green,
1:47:04
Speaker 1: which cast a singular luster. The travelers picked a few
1:47:08
Speaker 1: of them off the ground. This was of gold, that
1:47:12
Speaker 1: of emeralds, the other of rubies. The least of them
1:47:16
Speaker 1: would have been the greatest ornament on the mogul's throne.
1:47:20
Speaker 1: Without doubt, said Cacambo, these children must be the king's
1:47:24
Speaker 1: sons that are playing at coits. The village schoolmaster appeared
1:47:28
Speaker 1: at this moment and called them to school. There, said Candide,
1:47:33
Speaker 1: is the preceptor of the royal family. The little truants
1:47:37
Speaker 1: immediately quitted their game, leaving the quoits on the ground
1:47:41
Speaker 1: with all their other playthings. Candide gathered them up, ran
1:47:45
Speaker 1: to the master, and presented them to him in a
1:47:48
Speaker 1: most humble manner, giving him to understand by signs that
1:47:52
Speaker 1: their royal highnesses had forgotten their gold and jewels. The schoolmaster, smiling,
1:47:57
Speaker 1: flung them upon the ground, then, looking at Kandide, with
1:48:01
Speaker 1: a good deal of surprise, went about his business. The travelers, however,
1:48:06
Speaker 1: took care to gather up the gold, the rubies, and
1:48:09
Speaker 1: the emeralds. Where are we cried Kandide. The king's children
1:48:14
Speaker 1: in this country must be well brought up, since they
1:48:17
Speaker 1: are taught to despise gold and precious stones. Kacambo was
1:48:22
Speaker 1: as much surprised as Candide. At length, they drew near
1:48:25
Speaker 1: the first house in the village. It was built like
1:48:28
Speaker 1: a European palace. A crowd of people pressed about the door,
1:48:33
Speaker 1: and there was still more in the house. They heard
1:48:36
Speaker 1: most agreeable music and were aware of a delicious odor
1:48:41
Speaker 1: of cooking. Kacambo went up to the door and heard
1:48:44
Speaker 1: they were talking Peruvian. It was his mother tongue, for
1:48:48
Speaker 1: it is well known that Kocambo was born in Tucuman,
1:48:51
Speaker 1: in a village where no other language was spoken. I
1:48:55
Speaker 1: will be your interpreter here, said he to Kandide. Let
1:48:58
Speaker 1: us go in. It is a public house. Immediately, two
1:49:03
Speaker 1: waiters and two girls, dressed in cloth of gold and
1:49:07
Speaker 1: their hair tied up with ribbons, invited them to sit
1:49:10
Speaker 1: down to table with the landlord. They served four dishes
1:49:14
Speaker 1: of soup, each garnished with two young parrots, a boiled
1:49:18
Speaker 1: condor which weighed two hundred pounds, two roasted monkeys of
1:49:23
Speaker 1: excellent flavor, three hundred hummingbirds in one dish, and six
1:49:28
Speaker 1: hundred fly birds in another. Exquisite rockoats, delicious pastries. The
1:49:34
Speaker 1: whole served up in dishes of a kind of rock crystal.
1:49:39
Speaker 1: The waiters and girls poured out several liqueurs drawn from
1:49:44
Speaker 1: the sugar cane. Most of the company were chapmen and wagoners,
1:49:48
Speaker 1: all extremely polite. They asked Cacambo a few questions with
1:49:52
Speaker 1: the greatest circumspection, and answered his in the most obliging manner.
1:49:58
Speaker 1: As soon as dinner was over, Cacambo believed, as well
1:50:01
Speaker 1: as Candide, that they might well pay their reckoning by
1:50:05
Speaker 1: laying down two of those large gold pieces which they
1:50:08
Speaker 1: had picked up. The landlord and ladlady shouted with laughter
1:50:13
Speaker 1: and held their sides. When the fit was over, Gentlemen,
1:50:17
Speaker 1: said the landlord, it is plain you are strangers, and
1:50:20
Speaker 1: such guests we are not accustomed to see. Pardon us, therefore,
1:50:24
Speaker 1: for laughing when you offered us the pebbles from our
1:50:28
Speaker 1: high roads in payment of your reckoning. You doubtless have
1:50:32
Speaker 1: not the money of the country. But it is not
1:50:35
Speaker 1: necessary to have any money at all to dine in
1:50:38
Speaker 1: this house. All hostelries established for the convenience of commerce
1:50:42
Speaker 1: are paid by the government. You have fared, but very indifferently,
1:50:47
Speaker 1: because this is a poor village. But everywhere else you
1:50:51
Speaker 1: will be received as you deserve. Cacambo explained this whole
1:50:57
Speaker 1: discourse with great astonishment to Candide, who was as greatly
1:51:01
Speaker 1: astonished to hear it. What sort of a country, then,
1:51:04
Speaker 1: is this, said they to one another, a country unknown
1:51:08
Speaker 1: to all the rest of the world, and where nature
1:51:11
Speaker 1: is of a kind so different from ours. It is
1:51:15
Speaker 1: probably the country where all is well, for there absolutely
1:51:19
Speaker 1: must be one such place. And whatever Master Pangloss might say,
1:51:24
Speaker 1: I often found that things went very ill in Westphalia
1:51:30
Speaker 1: end Chapter seventeen, Chapter eighteen what they saw in the
1:51:35
Speaker 1: country of El Dorado. Cacambo expressed his curiosity to the landlord,
1:51:41
Speaker 1: who made answer, I am very ignorant, but not the worse.
1:51:45
Speaker 1: On that account, however, we have in this neighborhood an
1:51:49
Speaker 1: old man retired from court, who is a most learned
1:51:53
Speaker 1: and most communicative person in the kingdom. At once he
1:51:57
Speaker 1: took Cacambo to the old man can indeed acted now
1:52:01
Speaker 1: only a second character, and accompanied his valet. They entered
1:52:05
Speaker 1: a very plain house, for the door was only of silver,
1:52:09
Speaker 1: and the ceilings were only of gold, but wrought in
1:52:12
Speaker 1: so elegant a taste as to vie with the richest.
1:52:16
Speaker 1: The ante chamber, indeed was only encrusted with rubies and emeralds,
1:52:20
Speaker 1: but the order in which everything was arranged made amends
1:52:24
Speaker 1: for this great simplicity. The old man received the strangers
1:52:29
Speaker 1: on his sofa, which was stuffed with hummingbird's feathers, and
1:52:32
Speaker 1: ordered his servants to present them with liqueurs in diamond goblets,
1:52:37
Speaker 1: after which he satisfied their curiosity in the following terms.
1:52:42
Speaker 1: I am now one hundred and seventy two years old,
1:52:47
Speaker 1: and I learnt of my late father, Master of the
1:52:51
Speaker 1: Horse to the King, the amazing revolutions of Peru, of
1:52:57
Speaker 1: which he had been an eye witness. The kingdom we
1:53:01
Speaker 1: now inhabit is the ancient country of the Incas, who
1:53:06
Speaker 1: quitted it very imprudently to conquer another part of the world,
1:53:11
Speaker 1: and were at length destroyed by the Spaniards. More Wise,
1:53:17
Speaker 1: by far were the princes of their family, who remained
1:53:22
Speaker 1: in their native country, And they ordained, with the consent
1:53:26
Speaker 1: of the whole nation, that none of the inhabitants should
1:53:30
Speaker 1: ever be permitted to quit this little kingdom, and this
1:53:34
Speaker 1: has preserved our innocence and happiness. The Spaniards have had
1:53:40
Speaker 1: a confused notion of this country. They have called it
1:53:43
Speaker 1: El Dorado, and an Englishman whose name was Sir Walter Raleigh,
1:53:49
Speaker 1: came very near it about a hundred years ago. But
1:53:53
Speaker 1: being surrounded by inaccessible rocks and precipices, we have hitherto
1:53:58
Speaker 1: been sheltered from the rapaciousness of European nations, who have
1:54:04
Speaker 1: an inconceivable passion for the pebbles and dirt of our land,
1:54:10
Speaker 1: for the sake of which they would murder us to
1:54:13
Speaker 1: the last man. The conversation was long. It turned chiefly
1:54:18
Speaker 1: on their form of government, their manners, their women, their
1:54:22
Speaker 1: public entertainments, and the arts. At length, Candide, having always
1:54:27
Speaker 1: had a taste for metaphysics, made Cacambo ask whether there
1:54:31
Speaker 1: was any religion in that country. The old man reddened
1:54:35
Speaker 1: a little, how then said he, can you doubt it?
1:54:39
Speaker 1: Do you take us for ungrateful wretches. Cacambo humbly asked
1:54:44
Speaker 1: what was the religion in El Dorado? The old man
1:54:49
Speaker 1: reddened again. Can there be two religions? Said he? We have.
1:54:54
Speaker 1: I believe the religion of all the world. We worship
1:54:59
Speaker 1: God night and morning. Do you worship but one? Count?
1:55:04
Speaker 1: Said Cacambo, who still acted as interpreter in representing Candide's doubts.
1:55:10
Speaker 1: Charley said the old man, there are not two, nor
1:55:13
Speaker 1: three nor four. I must confess to people from your
1:55:17
Speaker 1: side of the world ask very extraordinary questions. Candide was
1:55:23
Speaker 1: not yet tired of interrogating the good old man. He
1:55:26
Speaker 1: wanted to know in what manner they prayed to God
1:55:28
Speaker 1: in El Dorado. We do not pray to him, said
1:55:32
Speaker 1: the worthy sage. We have nothing to ask of him.
1:55:35
Speaker 1: He has given us all we need and we return
1:55:39
Speaker 1: him thanks without ceasing. Candide, having a curiosity to see
1:55:43
Speaker 1: the priests, ask where they were. The good old man smiled.
1:55:48
Speaker 1: My friend said he. We are all priests, the king,
1:55:53
Speaker 1: and all the heads of families sing solemn canticles of
1:55:57
Speaker 1: thanksgiving every morning, accompanied by five or six thousand musicians.
1:56:04
Speaker 1: What have you no monks who teach, who dispute, who govern,
1:56:08
Speaker 1: who cabal, and who burn people that are not of
1:56:11
Speaker 1: their opinion. We must be mad. Indeed, if that were
1:56:15
Speaker 1: the case, said the old man. Here we are all
1:56:18
Speaker 1: of one opinion, and we know not what you mean
1:56:21
Speaker 1: by monks. During this whole discourse, Candide was in raptures,
1:56:26
Speaker 1: and he said to himself, this is vastly different from
1:56:29
Speaker 1: Westphalia and the Baron's castle. Had our friend Pangloss seen
1:56:34
Speaker 1: El Dorado, he would no longer have said that the
1:56:37
Speaker 1: castle of thunder ten Trunk was the finest upon earth.
1:56:41
Speaker 1: It is evident that one must travel. After this long conversation,
1:56:46
Speaker 1: the old man ordered a coach and six sheep to
1:56:49
Speaker 1: be got ready, and twelve of his domestics to conduct
1:56:52
Speaker 1: the travelers to court. Excuse me, said he, if my
1:56:55
Speaker 1: age deprives me of the honor of accompanying you. The
1:56:59
Speaker 1: King will receive you in a manner that cannot displease you,
1:57:03
Speaker 1: and no doubt you will make an allowance for the
1:57:06
Speaker 1: customs of the country if something should not be to
1:57:09
Speaker 1: your liking. Candide and Cacambo got into the coach, the
1:57:14
Speaker 1: six sheep flew, and in less than four hours they
1:57:19
Speaker 1: reached the King's Palace, situated at the extremity of the capitol.
1:57:23
Speaker 1: The portal was two hundred and twenty feet high and
1:57:27
Speaker 1: one hundred wide. But words are wanting to express the
1:57:31
Speaker 1: materials of which it was built. It is plain such
1:57:34
Speaker 1: materials must have prodigious superiority over those pebbles and sand,
1:57:40
Speaker 1: which we call gold and precious stones. Twenty beautiful damsels
1:57:45
Speaker 1: of the King's guard received Candide and Cacambo as they
1:57:49
Speaker 1: alighted from the coach, conducted them to the bath and
1:57:53
Speaker 1: dressed them in robes woven of the down of hummingbirds,
1:57:57
Speaker 1: after which the Great Crown Officer of both sexes led
1:58:01
Speaker 1: them to the King's apartment between two files of musicians,
1:58:06
Speaker 1: a thousand on each side. When they drew near to
1:58:10
Speaker 1: the audience chamber, Cacambo asked one of the great officers
1:58:14
Speaker 1: in what way he should pay his obeissance to his Majesty,
1:58:18
Speaker 1: Whether they should throw themselves upon their knees or on
1:58:22
Speaker 1: their stomachs, whether they should put their hands upon their
1:58:25
Speaker 1: heads or behind their backs, whether they should lick the
1:58:29
Speaker 1: dust off the floor. In a word, what was the ceremony?
1:58:34
Speaker 1: The castam said, the great officer is to embrace the
1:58:38
Speaker 1: King and to kiss him on each cheek. Candide and
1:58:43
Speaker 1: Cacambo threw themselves round his Majesty's neck. He received them
1:58:47
Speaker 1: with all the goodness imaginable, and politely invited them to supper.
1:58:52
Speaker 1: While waiting, they were shown the city and saw the
1:58:55
Speaker 1: public edifices raised as high as the clouds, the market
1:59:01
Speaker 1: places ornamented with a thousand columns, the fountains of spring water,
1:59:06
Speaker 1: those of rose water, those of liqueurs drawn from sugar cane,
1:59:10
Speaker 1: incessantly flowing into the great squares, which were paved with
1:59:15
Speaker 1: a kind of precious stone, which gave off a delicious
1:59:18
Speaker 1: fragrancy like that of clothes and cinnamon. Candide asked to
1:59:24
Speaker 1: see the court of justice, the parliament. They told him
1:59:27
Speaker 1: they had none, and that they were strangers to lawsuits.
1:59:31
Speaker 1: He asked if they had any prisons, and they answered no.
1:59:35
Speaker 1: But what surprised him most and gave him the greatest pleasure,
1:59:39
Speaker 1: was the Palace of Sciences, where he saw a gallery
1:59:42
Speaker 1: two thousand feet long and filled with instruments employed in
1:59:47
Speaker 1: mathematics and physics. After rambling about the city the whole afternoon,
1:59:53
Speaker 1: and seeing but a thousandth part of it, they were
1:59:56
Speaker 1: reconducted to the Royal Palace, where Candides sat down to
2:00:00
Speaker 1: table with his Majesty, his Valet Cacambo, and several ladies.
2:00:06
Speaker 1: Never was there a better entertainment, and never was more
2:00:09
Speaker 1: wit shown at table than that which fell from his majesty.
2:00:13
Speaker 1: Cacambo explained the kings Bonmotz to Candide, and notwithstanding they
2:00:18
Speaker 1: were translated, they still appeared to be Bonmotz. Of all
2:00:22
Speaker 1: the things that surprise Candide, this was not the least.
2:00:26
Speaker 1: They spent a month in this hospitable place. Candide frequently
2:00:30
Speaker 1: said to Cacambo, I own, my friend once more, that
2:00:34
Speaker 1: the castle where I was born is nothing in comparison
2:00:38
Speaker 1: with this. But after all, Miss Cunegonde is not here,
2:00:42
Speaker 1: and you have, without doubt some mistress in Europe. If
2:00:45
Speaker 1: we abide here, we shall only be upon a footing
2:00:48
Speaker 1: with the rest. Whereas if we returned to our old
2:00:52
Speaker 1: world only with twelve sheep laden with the pebbles of
2:00:55
Speaker 1: El Dorado, we shall be richer than all the kings
2:00:58
Speaker 1: in Europe. We shall have no more inquisitors to fear,
2:01:02
Speaker 1: and we may easily recover Miss Cunegonde. This speech was
2:01:06
Speaker 1: agreeable to Cacambo. Mankind are so fond of roving, of
2:01:11
Speaker 1: making a figure in their own country, and of boasting
2:01:14
Speaker 1: of what they have seen in their travels, that the
2:01:16
Speaker 1: too happy ones resolved to be no longer so but
2:01:20
Speaker 1: to ask his Majesty's leave to quit the country, you
2:01:24
Speaker 1: are foolish, said the king. I am sensible that my
2:01:28
Speaker 1: kingdom is but a small place. But when a person
2:01:31
Speaker 1: is comfortably settled in any part, he should abide there.
2:01:36
Speaker 1: I have not the right to detain strangers. It is
2:01:39
Speaker 1: a tyranny which neither our manners nor our laws permit.
2:01:43
Speaker 1: All men are free go when you wish, but the
2:01:47
Speaker 1: going will be very difficult. It is impossible to ascend
2:01:51
Speaker 1: that rapid river on which you came, as by a miracle,
2:01:55
Speaker 1: and which runs under vaulted rocks. The mountains which surround
2:01:59
Speaker 1: my kingdom are ten thousand feet high, and as steep
2:02:02
Speaker 1: as walls. They are each over ten leagues in breadth,
2:02:07
Speaker 1: and there is no other way to descend them than
2:02:09
Speaker 1: by precipices. However, since you absolutely wish to depart, I
2:02:14
Speaker 1: shall give orders to my engineers to construct a machine
2:02:19
Speaker 1: that will convey you very safely. When we have conducted
2:02:23
Speaker 1: you over the mountains. No one can accompany you further,
2:02:27
Speaker 1: for my subjects have made a vow never to quit
2:02:29
Speaker 1: the kingdom, and they are too wise to break it.
2:02:33
Speaker 1: Hum ask me, besides anything that you please, We desire
2:02:39
Speaker 1: nothing of your majesty, said Candide, but a few sheep
2:02:42
Speaker 1: laden with provisions, pebbles, and the earth of this country.
2:02:46
Speaker 1: The king laughed. II cannot conceive, said he, what pleasure
2:02:51
Speaker 1: you Europeans find in our yellow clay. But take as
2:02:55
Speaker 1: much as you like, and great good may it do you.
2:02:58
Speaker 1: At once he gave directions that his engineers should construct
2:03:02
Speaker 1: a machine to hoist up these two extraordinary men out
2:03:05
Speaker 1: of the kingdom. Three thousand good mathematicians went to work.
2:03:10
Speaker 1: It was ready in fifteen days and did not cost
2:03:13
Speaker 1: more than twenty million sterling. In the specie of that country.
2:03:17
Speaker 1: They placed Candide and Cacambo. On the machine. There were
2:03:21
Speaker 1: two great red sheep saddled and bridled, to ride upon
2:03:25
Speaker 1: as soon as they were beyond the mountains, twenty pack
2:03:28
Speaker 1: sheep laden with provisions, thirty with presents of the curiosities
2:03:33
Speaker 1: of the country, and fifty with gold, diamonds and precious stones.
2:03:38
Speaker 1: The king embraced the two wanderers very tenderly. Their departure,
2:03:43
Speaker 1: with the ingenious manner in which they and their sheep
2:03:47
Speaker 1: were hoisted over the mountains was a splendid spectacle. The
2:03:51
Speaker 1: mathematicians took their leave after conveying them to a place
2:03:55
Speaker 1: of safety, and Candide had no other desire, no other
2:03:59
Speaker 1: aim than and to present his sheep to Miss Cunegonde.
2:04:03
Speaker 1: Now said he, we are able to pay the governor
2:04:07
Speaker 1: of Buenos Aires if Miss Kinnegonda can be ransomed. Let
2:04:12
Speaker 1: us journey towards Cayenne. Let us embark, and we will
2:04:15
Speaker 1: afterwards see what kingdom we shall be able to purchase.
2:04:20
Speaker 1: End Chapter eighteen. Chapter nineteen, What happened to them at Suriname,
2:04:26
Speaker 1: and how Candide got acquainted with Martin. Our travelers spent
2:04:31
Speaker 1: the first day very agreeably. They were delighted with possessing
2:04:35
Speaker 1: more treasure than all Asia, Europe and Africa could scrape together. Candide,
2:04:42
Speaker 1: in his raptures, cut Cunegonda's name on the trees. The
2:04:46
Speaker 1: second day, two of their sheep plunged into a morass,
2:04:50
Speaker 1: where they and their burdens were lost. Two more died
2:04:53
Speaker 1: of fatigue a few days after, seven or eight perished
2:04:57
Speaker 1: with hunger in a desert, and others subsequently fell down precipices.
2:05:02
Speaker 1: At length, after traveling a hundred days, only two sheep remained,
2:05:08
Speaker 1: said Candide to Cacambo, My friend, you see how perishable
2:05:13
Speaker 1: are the riches of this world. There is nothing solid
2:05:17
Speaker 1: but virtue and the happiness of seeing Cunegonde once more.
2:05:22
Speaker 1: I grant all you say, said Cacambo. But we have
2:05:26
Speaker 1: still two sheep remaining, with more treasure than the King
2:05:29
Speaker 1: of Spain will ever have. And I see a town
2:05:32
Speaker 1: which I take to be Surinam, belonging to the Dutch.
2:05:36
Speaker 1: We are at the end of all our troubles and
2:05:38
Speaker 1: at the beginning of happiness. As they drew near the town,
2:05:42
Speaker 1: they saw a negro stretched upon the ground with only
2:05:45
Speaker 1: one waity of his clothes, that is, of his blue
2:05:49
Speaker 1: linen drawers. The poor man had lost his left leg
2:05:52
Speaker 1: and his right hand. Good God, said Candide in Dutch,
2:05:56
Speaker 1: What art thou doing here, friend, in that shocking condition?
2:06:00
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for my master, my near Vanderdender, the famous merchant,
2:06:06
Speaker 1: answered the negro. Was it my near Vanderdender, said Candide,
2:06:12
Speaker 1: that treated thee thus, Yes, sir, said the Negro. It
2:06:17
Speaker 1: is the custom. They give us a pair of linen
2:06:20
Speaker 1: drawers for our whole garmentwice a year. When we work
2:06:24
Speaker 1: at the sugar canes and the mills, snatches hold of
2:06:27
Speaker 1: a finger, they cut off the hand, And when we
2:06:30
Speaker 1: attempt to run away, they cut off the leg. Both
2:06:34
Speaker 1: cases have happened to me. This is the price at
2:06:37
Speaker 1: which you eat sugar in Europe. Yet, when my mother
2:06:41
Speaker 1: sold me for tin patagons on the coast of Guinea,
2:06:45
Speaker 1: she said to me, my dear child, bless our fetishes.
2:06:50
Speaker 1: Adore them forever, for they will make thee live happily.
2:06:54
Speaker 1: Thou hast the honor of being the slave of our lords,
2:06:58
Speaker 1: the whites, which is making the fortune of thy father
2:07:01
Speaker 1: and mother. Alas I know not whether I have made
2:07:05
Speaker 1: their fortunes, this, I know that they have not made mine.
2:07:09
Speaker 1: Dogs monkeys and parrots are a thousand times less wretched
2:07:14
Speaker 1: than I. The Dutch fetiches who have converted me declare
2:07:19
Speaker 1: every Sunday that we are all of us children of Adam,
2:07:23
Speaker 1: blacks as well as whites. I am not a genealogist,
2:07:27
Speaker 1: but if these preachers tell truth, we are all second cousins.
2:07:32
Speaker 1: Now you must agree that it is impossible to treat
2:07:35
Speaker 1: one's relations in a more barbarous manner. Oh, Pangloss, cried Candide,
2:07:41
Speaker 1: thou hadst not guessed at this abomination. It is the end.
2:07:46
Speaker 1: I must at last renounce thy optimism. What is this optimism,
2:07:51
Speaker 1: said Cacambo. Alas said Candide, it is the madness of
2:07:56
Speaker 1: maintaining that everything is right when it is wrong. Looking
2:08:00
Speaker 1: at the negro, he shed tears and weeping. He entered Suriname.
2:08:06
Speaker 1: The first thing they inquired after was whether there was
2:08:09
Speaker 1: a vessel in the harbor which could be sent to
2:08:11
Speaker 1: Buenos Aires. The person to whom they applied was a
2:08:14
Speaker 1: Spanish sea captain, who offered to agree with them upon
2:08:17
Speaker 1: reasonable terms. He appointed to meet them at a public house,
2:08:21
Speaker 1: whither Candide and the faithful Cacambo went with their two
2:08:24
Speaker 1: sheep and awaited his coming. Candide, who had his heart
2:08:28
Speaker 1: upon his lips, told the Spaniard all his adventures, and
2:08:32
Speaker 1: avowed that he intended to elope with Miss Cunegonda. That
2:08:36
Speaker 1: I will take care not to carry you to Buenos Aires,
2:08:39
Speaker 1: said the seaman. I should be hanged, and so would you.
2:08:42
Speaker 1: The fair Cunegonda is my lord's favorite mistress. This was
2:08:46
Speaker 1: a thunderclap for Candide. He wept for a long while.
2:08:50
Speaker 1: At last he drew Cacambo aside. Here, my dear friend,
2:08:54
Speaker 1: said he to him, this thou must do. We have
2:08:58
Speaker 1: each of us in his pocket fire five or six
2:09:00
Speaker 1: millions in diamonds. You are more clever than I. You
2:09:04
Speaker 1: must go and bring miss Cunegonde from Buenos Aires. If
2:09:08
Speaker 1: the governor makes any difficulty, give him a million. If
2:09:12
Speaker 1: he will not relinquish her, give him two. As you
2:09:14
Speaker 1: have not killed an inquisitor, they will have no suspicion
2:09:18
Speaker 1: of you. I'll get another ship and go and wait
2:09:20
Speaker 1: for you at Venice. That's a free country where there
2:09:23
Speaker 1: is no danger either from Bulgarians, Abbares, Jews or inquisitors.
2:09:28
Speaker 1: Cacambo applauded this wise resolution. He despaired at parting from
2:09:33
Speaker 1: so good a master who had become his intimate friend.
2:09:36
Speaker 1: But the pleasure of serving him prevailed over the pain
2:09:40
Speaker 1: of leaving him. They embraced with tears. Candide charged him
2:09:45
Speaker 1: not to forget the good old woman. Cacambo set out
2:09:48
Speaker 1: that very same day. This Cacambo was a very honest fellow.
2:09:53
Speaker 1: Candide stayed some time longer in Surinam, waiting for another
2:09:57
Speaker 1: captain to carry him and the two remaining sheep to Italy.
2:10:01
Speaker 1: After he had hired domestics and purchased everything necessary for
2:10:06
Speaker 1: a long voyage, my near Vanderdender, captain of a large vessel,
2:10:10
Speaker 1: came and offered his services. How much will you charge,
2:10:14
Speaker 1: said he to this man to carry me straight to Venice, me,
2:10:18
Speaker 1: my servants, my baggage, and these two sheep. The skipper asked,
2:10:22
Speaker 1: ten thousand piastes. Candide did not hesitate. Oh, oh, said
2:10:29
Speaker 1: the prudent Vanderdender to himself. This strange jug gives ten
2:10:33
Speaker 1: thousand piastres unhesitatingly, he must be very rich. Returning a
2:10:40
Speaker 1: little while after, he let him know that, upon second consideration,
2:10:45
Speaker 1: he could not undertake the voyage for less than twenty
2:10:48
Speaker 1: thousand piastes. Well, you shall have them, said Candide. Ay,
2:10:53
Speaker 1: said the skipper to himself, this man agrees to pay
2:10:56
Speaker 1: twenty thousand piastes, with as much ease as ten m.
2:11:02
Speaker 1: He went back to him again and declared that he
2:11:04
Speaker 1: could not carry him to Venice for less than thirty
2:11:07
Speaker 1: thousand piastres. Then you shall have thirty thousand, replied Candide. Oh, oh,
2:11:13
Speaker 1: said the Dutch skipper once more to himself. Thirty thousand
2:11:17
Speaker 1: piastres on a trifle to this man. Surely these sheep
2:11:21
Speaker 1: must be laden with an immense treasure. Let us say
2:11:24
Speaker 1: no more about it. First of all, let him pay
2:11:27
Speaker 1: down the thirty thousand piastes. Then we shall see. Candide
2:11:34
Speaker 1: sold two small diamonds, the least of which was worth
2:11:37
Speaker 1: more than what the skipper asked for his freight. He
2:11:40
Speaker 1: paid him in advance. The two sheep were put on board.
2:11:44
Speaker 1: Candide followed in a little boat to join the vessel
2:11:47
Speaker 1: in the roads. The skipper seized this opportunity, set sail
2:11:51
Speaker 1: and put out to sea, the wind favoring him. Candide,
2:11:56
Speaker 1: dismayed and stupefied, soon lost sight of the vessel. Alas
2:12:01
Speaker 1: said he, this is a trick worthy of the old world.
2:12:07
Speaker 1: He put back overwhelmed with sorrow, for indeed he had
2:12:11
Speaker 1: lost sufficient to make the fortune of twenty monarchs. He
2:12:15
Speaker 1: waited upon the Dutch magistrate, and in his distress, he
2:12:19
Speaker 1: knocked over loudly at the door. He entered and told
2:12:22
Speaker 1: his adventure, raising his voice with unnecessary vehemence. The magistrate
2:12:27
Speaker 1: began by finding him ten thousand piastres for making a noise.
2:12:32
Speaker 1: Then he listened patiently, promised to examine into his affair
2:12:36
Speaker 1: at the skipper's return, and ordered him to pay ten
2:12:39
Speaker 1: thousand piastres for the expense of the hearing. This drove
2:12:43
Speaker 1: Candide to despair. He had indeed endured misfortunes a thousand
2:12:48
Speaker 1: times worse. The coolness of the magistrate and of the
2:12:51
Speaker 1: skipper who had robbed him roused his collar and flung
2:12:54
Speaker 1: him into a deep melancholy. The villainy of mankind presented
2:12:59
Speaker 1: its before his imagination in all its deformity, and his
2:13:04
Speaker 1: mind was filled with gloomy ideas. At length, hearing that
2:13:09
Speaker 1: a French vessel was ready to set sail for Bordeaux.
2:13:12
Speaker 1: As he had no sheep laden with diamonds to take
2:13:15
Speaker 1: along with him, he hired a cabin at the usual
2:13:18
Speaker 1: price he made it known in the town that he
2:13:20
Speaker 1: would pay the passage and board, and give two thousand
2:13:23
Speaker 1: piastres to any honest man who would make the voyage
2:13:27
Speaker 1: with him, upon condition that this man was the most
2:13:31
Speaker 1: dissatisfied with his state and the most unfortunate in the
2:13:36
Speaker 1: whole province. Such a crowd of candidates presented themselves that
2:13:40
Speaker 1: a fleet of ships could hardly have held them. Candide,
2:13:44
Speaker 1: being desirous of selecting from among the best, marked out
2:13:48
Speaker 1: about one twentieth of them, who seemed to be sociable men,
2:13:52
Speaker 1: and who all pretended to merit his preference. He assembled
2:13:55
Speaker 1: them at his inn and gave them a supper, on
2:13:58
Speaker 1: condition that each took an oath to relate his history faithfully,
2:14:03
Speaker 1: promising to choose him who appeared to be most justly
2:14:06
Speaker 1: discontented with his state, and to bestow some presence upon
2:14:11
Speaker 1: the rest. They sat until four o'clock in the morning. Candide,
2:14:15
Speaker 1: in listening to all their adventures, was reminded of what
2:14:18
Speaker 1: the old woman had said to him in their voyage
2:14:20
Speaker 1: to Buenos Aires, and of her wager that there was
2:14:23
Speaker 1: not a person on board the ship, but had met
2:14:26
Speaker 1: with very great misfortunes. He dreamed of Pangloss at every
2:14:30
Speaker 1: adventure told to him. This Pangloss said he would be
2:14:34
Speaker 1: puzzled to demonstrate his system. I wish that he were here. Certainly,
2:14:39
Speaker 1: if all things are good, it is in El Dorado,
2:14:42
Speaker 1: and not in the rest of the world. At length,
2:14:45
Speaker 1: he made choice of a poor man of letters who
2:14:47
Speaker 1: had worked ten years for the booksellers of Amsterdam. He
2:14:51
Speaker 1: judged that there was not in the whole world a
2:14:54
Speaker 1: trade which could discuss one more. This philosopher was an
2:14:58
Speaker 1: honest man, but he had been robbed by his wife,
2:15:01
Speaker 1: beaten by his son, and abandoned by his daughter, who
2:15:05
Speaker 1: got a Portuguese to run away with her. He had
2:15:08
Speaker 1: just been deprived of a small employment on which he subsisted,
2:15:12
Speaker 1: and he was persecuted by the preachers of Surinam, who
2:15:15
Speaker 1: took him for a Socinian. We must allow that the
2:15:18
Speaker 1: others were at least as wretched as he. But Candide
2:15:22
Speaker 1: hoped that the philosopher would entertain him during the voyage.
2:15:25
Speaker 1: All the other candidates complained that Candide had done them
2:15:29
Speaker 1: great injustice, but he appeased them by giving one hundred
2:15:33
Speaker 1: piastres to each end Chapter nineteen, Chapter twenty, What happened
2:15:40
Speaker 1: at sea to Candide and Martin. The old philosopher whose
2:15:45
Speaker 1: name was Martin, embarked then with Candide for Bordeaux. They
2:15:50
Speaker 1: had both seen and suffered a great deal, and if
2:15:53
Speaker 1: the vessel had sailed from Surinam to Japan by the
2:15:56
Speaker 1: Cape of Good Hope, the subject of moral and natural
2:16:00
Speaker 1: evil would have enabled them to entertain one another during
2:16:03
Speaker 1: the whole voyage. Candide, however, had one great advantage over Martin,
2:16:09
Speaker 1: in that he always hoped to see miss Cunegonde, whereas
2:16:13
Speaker 1: Martin had nothing at all to hope. Besides, Candide was
2:16:17
Speaker 1: possessed of money and jewels, and though he had lost
2:16:20
Speaker 1: one hundred large red sheep, laden with the greatest treasure
2:16:24
Speaker 1: upon earth. Though the knavery of the Dutch skipper still
2:16:27
Speaker 1: sat heavy on his mind. Yet when he reflected upon
2:16:31
Speaker 1: what he had still left, and when he mentioned the
2:16:34
Speaker 1: name of Cunegonde, especially towards the latter end of a repast,
2:16:39
Speaker 1: he inclined to Pangloss's doctrine. But you, mister Martin, said
2:16:43
Speaker 1: he to the philosopher, what do you think of all this?
2:16:47
Speaker 1: What are your ideas on moral and natural evil? Sir?
2:16:51
Speaker 1: Answered Martin, our priest accused me of being a Socinian.
2:16:56
Speaker 1: But the real fact is I am a manic Chaian.
2:17:00
Speaker 1: You jest, said Candide. There are no longer Manicheans in
2:17:04
Speaker 1: the world. I am one, said Martin. I cannot help it.
2:17:08
Speaker 1: I know not how to think otherwise. Surely you must
2:17:12
Speaker 1: be possessed by the devil, said Kandide. He is so
2:17:16
Speaker 1: deeply concerned in the affairs of this world, answered Martin,
2:17:20
Speaker 1: that he may very well be in me, as well
2:17:23
Speaker 1: as in everybody else. But I own to you that
2:17:27
Speaker 1: when I cast an eye on this globe, or rather
2:17:30
Speaker 1: on this little ball, I cannot help thinking that God
2:17:34
Speaker 1: has abandoned it to some malignant being. I accept always
2:17:39
Speaker 1: el Dorado. I scarcely ever knew a city that did
2:17:43
Speaker 1: not desire the destruction of a neighboring city, nor a
2:17:46
Speaker 1: family that did not wish to exterminate some other family. Everywhere,
2:17:52
Speaker 1: the weak execrate the powerful, before whom they cringe, and
2:17:57
Speaker 1: the powerful beat them like sheep whose wool and flesh
2:18:01
Speaker 1: they sell. A million regimented assassins from one extremity of
2:18:06
Speaker 1: Europe to the other get their bread by disciplined depredation
2:18:11
Speaker 1: and murder for want of more honest employment. Even in
2:18:15
Speaker 1: those cities which seem to enjoy peace, and where the
2:18:19
Speaker 1: arts flourish, the inhabitants are devoured by more envy, care,
2:18:24
Speaker 1: and uneasiness than are experienced by a besieged town. Secret
2:18:30
Speaker 1: griefs are more cruel than public calamities. In a word,
2:18:35
Speaker 1: I have seen so much, and experienced so much, that
2:18:40
Speaker 1: I am a Manichean. There are, however, some things good,
2:18:45
Speaker 1: said Candide. That may be, said Martin, but I know
2:18:49
Speaker 1: them not. In the middle of this dispute they heard
2:18:52
Speaker 1: the report of cannon. It redoubled every instant. Each took
2:18:56
Speaker 1: out his glass. They saw two ships in close fight,
2:18:59
Speaker 1: about three three miles off. The wind brought both so
2:19:03
Speaker 1: near to the French vessel that our travelers had the
2:19:05
Speaker 1: pleasure of seeing the fight at their ease. At length.
2:19:09
Speaker 1: One let off a broadside so low and so truly aimed,
2:19:14
Speaker 1: that the other sank to the bottom. Candide and Martin
2:19:17
Speaker 1: could plainly perceive a hundred men on the deck of
2:19:20
Speaker 1: the sinking vessel. They raised their hands to heaven and
2:19:24
Speaker 1: uttered terrible outcries, and the next moment was swallowed up
2:19:28
Speaker 1: by the sea. Well, said Martin, this is how men
2:19:32
Speaker 1: treat one another. It is true, said Candide, there is
2:19:37
Speaker 1: something diabolical in this affair. While speaking, he saw he
2:19:42
Speaker 1: knew not what of a shining red swimming close to
2:19:46
Speaker 1: the vessel. They put out the longboat to see what
2:19:48
Speaker 1: it could be. It was one of his sheep. Candide
2:19:52
Speaker 1: was more rejoiced at the recovery of this one sheep
2:19:56
Speaker 1: than he had been grieved at the loss of the
2:19:58
Speaker 1: hundred laden with the large diamonds of El Dorado. The
2:20:02
Speaker 1: French captain soon saw that the captain of the victorious
2:20:06
Speaker 1: vessel was a Spaniard, and that the other was a
2:20:08
Speaker 1: Dutch pirate, and the very same one who had robbed Candide.
2:20:13
Speaker 1: The immense plunder which this villain had amassed was buried
2:20:17
Speaker 1: with him in the sea, and out of the whole
2:20:20
Speaker 1: only one sheep was saved. You see, said Candide to Martin,
2:20:25
Speaker 1: that crime is sometimes punished. This rogue of a Dutch
2:20:29
Speaker 1: skipper has met with the fate he deserved. Yes, said Martin,
2:20:33
Speaker 1: But why should the passengers be doomed also to destruction.
2:20:38
Speaker 1: God has punished the knave, and the devil has drowned
2:20:42
Speaker 1: the rest the French and Spanish ships continued their course,
2:20:47
Speaker 1: and Candide continued his conversation with Martin. They disputed fifteen
2:20:52
Speaker 1: successive days, and on the last of those fifteen days
2:20:56
Speaker 1: they were as far advanced as on the first. But
2:20:59
Speaker 1: however they chatted, they communicated ideas, they consoled each other.
2:21:05
Speaker 1: Candide caressed his sheep. Since I have found thee again,
2:21:09
Speaker 1: said he, I may likewise chance to find my cunegonde.
2:21:16
Speaker 1: End Chapter twenty. Chapter twenty one, Candide and Martin, reasoning,
2:21:23
Speaker 1: draw near the coast of France. At length they descried
2:21:28
Speaker 1: the coast of France. Were you ever in France, mister Martin,
2:21:32
Speaker 1: said Candide, Yes, said Martin, I have been in several provinces.
2:21:38
Speaker 1: In some one half of the people are fools. In
2:21:41
Speaker 1: others they are too cunning. In some they are weak
2:21:45
Speaker 1: and simple. In others they affect to be witty. In all,
2:21:50
Speaker 1: the principal occupation is love, the next is slander, and
2:21:54
Speaker 1: the third is talking nonsense. But mister Martin, have you seens, Yes,
2:22:01
Speaker 1: I have. All these kinds are found there. It is
2:22:05
Speaker 1: a chaars, a confused multitude, where everybody seeks pleasure, and
2:22:11
Speaker 1: scarcely anyone finds it, at least as it appeared to me.
2:22:16
Speaker 1: I made a short stay there. On my arrival, I
2:22:20
Speaker 1: was robbed of all I had by pickpockets at the
2:22:24
Speaker 1: fair of Saint Germain. I myself was taken for a
2:22:28
Speaker 1: robber and was imprisoned for eight days, after which I
2:22:32
Speaker 1: served as corrector of the press to gain the money
2:22:35
Speaker 1: necessary for my return to Holland. On foot, I knew
2:22:40
Speaker 1: the whole scribbling rabble, the party rabble, the fanatic rabble.
2:22:45
Speaker 1: It is said that there are very polite people in
2:22:48
Speaker 1: that city, and I wish to believe it. For my part,
2:22:52
Speaker 1: I have no curiosity to see France, said Candide. You
2:22:56
Speaker 1: may easily imagine that after spending a month at El Dorado,
2:22:59
Speaker 1: I can desire to behold nothing upon earth. But miss Cuonegonde,
2:23:04
Speaker 1: I go to await her at Venice. We shall pass
2:23:07
Speaker 1: through France on our way to Italy. Will you bear
2:23:09
Speaker 1: me company with all my heart? Said Martin. It is
2:23:13
Speaker 1: said that Venice is fit only for its own nobility,
2:23:16
Speaker 1: but that strangers meet with a very good reception if
2:23:19
Speaker 1: they have a good deal of money. I have none
2:23:22
Speaker 1: of it you have. Therefore, I will follow you all
2:23:26
Speaker 1: over the world. But do you believe said Candide, that
2:23:29
Speaker 1: the earth was originally a sea, as we find it
2:23:32
Speaker 1: asserted in that large book belonging to the captain. I
2:23:36
Speaker 1: do not believe a word of it, said Martin, any
2:23:38
Speaker 1: more than I do of the many ravings which have
2:23:42
Speaker 1: been published lately. But for what in then, has this
2:23:46
Speaker 1: world been formed? Said Candide, to plague us to death,
2:23:51
Speaker 1: answered Martin, Are you not greatly surprised, continued Candide, at
2:23:55
Speaker 1: the love which these two girls of the Orielons had
2:23:59
Speaker 1: for those monkeys of which I have already told you,
2:24:02
Speaker 1: Not at all, said Martin. I do not see that
2:24:05
Speaker 1: that passion was strange. I have seen so many extraordinary
2:24:10
Speaker 1: things that I have ceased to be surprised. Do you believe,
2:24:14
Speaker 1: said Candide, that men have always massacred each other as
2:24:19
Speaker 1: they do to day? That they have always been liars, cheats, traitors, ingrates, brigands, idiots, thieves, scoundrels, gluttons, drunkards, misers, envious, ambitious,
2:24:32
Speaker 1: bloody minded calumniators, de bouchets, fanatics, hypocrites and fools. Do
2:24:40
Speaker 1: you believe, said Martin, that hawks have always eaten pigeons
2:24:44
Speaker 1: when they have found them? Yes, without doubt, said Candide. Well, then,
2:24:49
Speaker 1: said Martin. If hawks have always had the same character,
2:24:53
Speaker 1: why should you imagine that men may have changed theirs? Oh,
2:24:58
Speaker 1: said Candide. There is a vast deal of difference for
2:25:01
Speaker 1: free will and reasoning. Thus they arrived at Bordeaux end
2:25:07
Speaker 1: Chapter twenty one, Chapter twenty two. What happened in France
2:25:12
Speaker 1: to Candide and Martin. Candide stayed in Bordeaux no longer
2:25:17
Speaker 1: than was necessary for the selling of a few of
2:25:20
Speaker 1: the pebbles of El Dorado, and for hiring a good
2:25:24
Speaker 1: chaise to hold two passengers, for he could not travel
2:25:27
Speaker 1: without his philosopher Martin. He was only vexed at parting
2:25:31
Speaker 1: with his sheep, which he left to the Bordeaux Academy
2:25:35
Speaker 1: of Sciences, who set as a subject for that year's
2:25:38
Speaker 1: prize to find why this sheep's wool was read. And
2:25:42
Speaker 1: the prize was awarded to a learned man of the North,
2:25:45
Speaker 1: who demonstrated, by a plus B minus C divided by Z,
2:25:50
Speaker 1: that the sheep must be read and die of the rot. Meanwhile,
2:25:55
Speaker 1: all the travelers whom Candide met in the inns along
2:25:58
Speaker 1: his route, said to him, we go to Paris. This
2:26:01
Speaker 1: general eagerness at length gave him too a desire to
2:26:05
Speaker 1: see this capital, and it was not so very great
2:26:08
Speaker 1: a detour from the road to Venice. He entered Paris
2:26:12
Speaker 1: by the suburb of Saint Marceau, and fancied that he
2:26:16
Speaker 1: was in the dirtiest village of Westphalia. Scarcely was Candide
2:26:21
Speaker 1: arrived at his inn than he found himself attacked by
2:26:24
Speaker 1: a slight illness caused by fatigue, as he had a
2:26:28
Speaker 1: very large diamond on his finger, and the people of
2:26:31
Speaker 1: the inn had taken notice of a prodigiously heavy box
2:26:35
Speaker 1: among his baggage. There were two physicians to attend him,
2:26:39
Speaker 1: though he had never sent for them, and two devotees
2:26:43
Speaker 1: who warmed his broths. I remember, Martin said also to
2:26:47
Speaker 1: have been sick at Paris in my first voyage. I
2:26:51
Speaker 1: was very poor. Thus I had neither friends, devotes, nor doctors,
2:26:56
Speaker 1: and I recovered. However, what with physics and bleeding, Candide's
2:27:01
Speaker 1: illness became serious. A parson of the neighborhood came with
2:27:05
Speaker 1: great meekness to ask for a bill for the other world,
2:27:09
Speaker 1: payable to the bearer. Candide would do nothing for him,
2:27:13
Speaker 1: but the devotees assured him it was the new fashion.
2:27:17
Speaker 1: He answered that he was not a man of fashion.
2:27:20
Speaker 1: Martin wished to throw the priest out of the window.
2:27:23
Speaker 1: The priests swore that they would not bury Candide. Martin
2:27:27
Speaker 1: swore that he would bury the priest if he continued
2:27:30
Speaker 1: to be troublesome. The quarrel grew, heated, Martin took him
2:27:34
Speaker 1: by the shoulders and roughly turned him out of doors,
2:27:37
Speaker 1: which occasioned great scandal and a lawsuit. Candide got well again,
2:27:43
Speaker 1: and during his convalescence he had very good company to
2:27:47
Speaker 1: sup with him. They played high. Candide wondered why it
2:27:51
Speaker 1: was that the ace never came to him, but Martin
2:27:55
Speaker 1: was not at all astonished. Among those who did him
2:27:58
Speaker 1: the honors of the town was a little Abbe of Perigord,
2:28:02
Speaker 1: one of those busybodies who are ever alert, officious, forward,
2:28:07
Speaker 1: fawning and complaisant, who watch for strangers in their passage
2:28:12
Speaker 1: through the capitol, tell them the scandalous history of the
2:28:15
Speaker 1: town and offer them pleasure at all prices. He first
2:28:20
Speaker 1: took Candide and Martin to La Comedy, where they played
2:28:23
Speaker 1: a new tragedy. Candide happened to be seated near some
2:28:28
Speaker 1: of the fashionable wits. This did not prevent his shedding
2:28:31
Speaker 1: tears at the well acted scenes. One of these critics
2:28:34
Speaker 1: at his side said to him, between the acts, your
2:28:37
Speaker 1: tears are misplaced. That is a shocking actress. The actor
2:28:43
Speaker 1: who plays with her is yet worse, and the play
2:28:46
Speaker 1: is still worse than the actors. The author does not
2:28:51
Speaker 1: know a word of Arabic, yet the scene is in Arabia. Moreover,
2:28:57
Speaker 1: he is a man that does not believe in innate ideas.
2:29:02
Speaker 1: And I will bring you tomorrow twenty pamphlets written against him.
2:29:07
Speaker 1: How many dramas have you in France, Sir, said Candide
2:29:10
Speaker 1: to the Abbe, five or six thousand? What a number?
2:29:14
Speaker 1: Said Candide? How many good? Fifteen or sixteen, replied the other,
2:29:20
Speaker 1: What a number? Said Martin. Candide was very pleased with
2:29:24
Speaker 1: an actress who played Queen Elizabeth in a somewhat insipid tragedy.
2:29:29
Speaker 1: Sometimes acted that actress, said he to Martin, pleases me much.
2:29:34
Speaker 1: She has a likeness to Miss Cunegonde. I should be
2:29:38
Speaker 1: very glad to wait upon her. The Perigordian Abbe offered
2:29:41
Speaker 1: to introduce him. Candide, brought up in Germany, asked what
2:29:45
Speaker 1: was the etiquette and how they treated queens of England,
2:29:48
Speaker 1: in France, it is necessary to make distinction, said the Abbe.
2:29:52
Speaker 1: In the provinces, one takes them to the inn. In Paris,
2:29:56
Speaker 1: one respects them when they are beautiful, and throws them
2:29:59
Speaker 1: on the h highway when they are dead. Queen's on
2:30:02
Speaker 1: the highway, said Candide. Yes, truly, said Martin, the Abbe
2:30:07
Speaker 1: is right. I was in Paris when Miss Monny May
2:30:10
Speaker 1: passed as saying, is from this life to the other.
2:30:14
Speaker 1: She was refused what people call the honors of sepuncture,
2:30:19
Speaker 1: that is to say, of rotting with all the beggars
2:30:22
Speaker 1: of the neighborhood. In an ugly cemetery. She was interred
2:30:25
Speaker 1: all alone by her company at the corner of the
2:30:29
Speaker 1: Rue de Bougonne, which ought to trouble her much, for
2:30:33
Speaker 1: she thought nobly, that was very uncivil, said Candide. What
2:30:38
Speaker 1: would you have said, Martin? These people are made thus
2:30:41
Speaker 1: imagine all contradictions, all possible incompatibilities. You will find them
2:30:47
Speaker 1: in the government, in the law court, and the churches,
2:30:50
Speaker 1: in the public shows of this stroll nation. Is it
2:30:54
Speaker 1: true that they always laugh in Paris, said Candide. Yes,
2:30:59
Speaker 1: said the Abbe, But it means nothing, for they complain
2:31:02
Speaker 1: of everything with great fits of laughter. They even do
2:31:06
Speaker 1: the most detestable things while laughing. Who, said Candide, is
2:31:10
Speaker 1: that great pig who spoke so ill of the piece
2:31:13
Speaker 1: at which I wept, and of the actors who gave
2:31:16
Speaker 1: me so much pleasure? He is a bad character, answered
2:31:19
Speaker 1: the Abbe, who gains his livelihood by saying evil of
2:31:23
Speaker 1: all plays and of all books. He hates whatever succeeds,
2:31:27
Speaker 1: as the eunuchs hate those who enjoy. He is one
2:31:31
Speaker 1: of the serpents of literature, who nourished themselves on dirt
2:31:35
Speaker 1: and spite. He is a filiculaire. What is a filiculaire,
2:31:42
Speaker 1: said Candide. It is, said the Abbe, a pamphleteer, a frearn.
2:31:49
Speaker 1: Thus Candide, Martin and the Perigordian conversed on the staircase
2:31:54
Speaker 1: while watching everyone go out after the performance. Although I
2:31:58
Speaker 1: am eager to see Kunegar wonder again, said Candide, I
2:32:01
Speaker 1: should like to sup with miss Claron, for she appears
2:32:05
Speaker 1: to me admirable. The Abbe was not the man to
2:32:08
Speaker 1: approach Miss Claron, who saw only good company. She is
2:32:12
Speaker 1: engaged for this evening, he said, But I shall have
2:32:16
Speaker 1: the honor to take you to the house of a
2:32:18
Speaker 1: lady of quality, and there you will know Paris as
2:32:22
Speaker 1: if you had lived in it for years. Candide, who
2:32:25
Speaker 1: was naturally curious, let himself be taken to this lady's
2:32:29
Speaker 1: house at the end of the Faubourg Saint Honore. The
2:32:33
Speaker 1: company was occupied in playing Pharaoh. A dozen melancholy punters
2:32:39
Speaker 1: held each in his hand a little pack of cards,
2:32:42
Speaker 1: a bad record of his misfortunes. Profound silence reigned, pallor
2:32:48
Speaker 1: was on the faces of the punters, anxiety on that
2:32:52
Speaker 1: of the banker and the hostess. Sitting near the unpitying
2:32:56
Speaker 1: banker noticed with lynx eyes all the doubled and other
2:33:01
Speaker 1: increased stakes. As each player dogs eared his cards, she
2:33:07
Speaker 1: made them turn down the edges again with severe but
2:33:10
Speaker 1: polite attention. She showed no vexation for fear of losing
2:33:15
Speaker 1: her customers. The lady insisted upon being called the Marchioness
2:33:20
Speaker 1: of Parolignac. Her daughter, aged fifteen, was among the punters
2:33:25
Speaker 1: and notified with a covert glance the cheatings of the
2:33:28
Speaker 1: poor people who tried to repair the cruelties of fate.
2:33:32
Speaker 1: The Perigordian abbe, Candide and Martin entered. No one rose,
2:33:37
Speaker 1: no one saluted them. No one looked at them. All
2:33:41
Speaker 1: were profoundly occupied with their cards. The barreness of thunder
2:33:46
Speaker 1: tin trunk was more polite, said Candide. However, the abbe
2:33:51
Speaker 1: whispered to the marchioness, who half rose, honored Candide with
2:33:55
Speaker 1: a gracious smile, and Martin with a condescending nod. She
2:34:00
Speaker 1: gave a seat and a pack of cards to Candide,
2:34:02
Speaker 1: who lost fifty thousand francs in two deals, after which
2:34:06
Speaker 1: they supped very gaily, and every one was astonished that
2:34:10
Speaker 1: Candide was not moved by his loss. The servants said
2:34:13
Speaker 1: among themselves, in the language of servants, some English lord
2:34:18
Speaker 1: is here this evening. The supper passed at first, like
2:34:22
Speaker 1: most Parisian suppers, in silence, followed by a noise of
2:34:26
Speaker 1: words which could not be distinguished. Then with pleasantries, of
2:34:30
Speaker 1: which most were insipid, with false news, with bad reasoning,
2:34:34
Speaker 1: a little politics, and much evil speaking. They also discussed
2:34:39
Speaker 1: new books. Have you seen, said the Perigordian abbe, the
2:34:43
Speaker 1: romance of Sieur Gausha, doctor of Divinity? Yes, said one
2:34:48
Speaker 1: of the guests, but I have not been able to
2:34:50
Speaker 1: finish it. We have a crowd of silly writings, But
2:34:53
Speaker 1: altogether do not approach the impertinence of Gauchat, doctor of Divinity.
2:34:58
Speaker 1: I am so satiated with the great, great number of
2:35:00
Speaker 1: detestable books with which we are inundated, that I am
2:35:04
Speaker 1: reduced to punting at Pharaoh and the milanches of Archdeacon
2:35:09
Speaker 1: troublet What do you say of that? Said the abbe Ah,
2:35:13
Speaker 1: said the Marchioness of Parolignac, the wearisome martal. How curiously
2:35:19
Speaker 1: he repeats to you all that the world knows, how
2:35:23
Speaker 1: heavily he discusses that which is not worth the trouble
2:35:28
Speaker 1: of lightly remarking upon how without wit he appropriates the
2:35:33
Speaker 1: wit of others, how he spoils what he steals, how
2:35:38
Speaker 1: he disgusts me. But he will disgust me no longer.
2:35:42
Speaker 1: It is enough to have read a few of the
2:35:44
Speaker 1: Archdeacon's pages. There was a table a wise man of
2:35:48
Speaker 1: taste who supported the Marchioness. They spoke afterwards of tragedies.
2:35:53
Speaker 1: The lady asked why there were tragedies which were sometimes
2:35:57
Speaker 1: played and which could not be read. The man of
2:36:00
Speaker 1: taste explained very well how a piece could have some
2:36:04
Speaker 1: interest and have almost no merit. He proved in a
2:36:08
Speaker 1: few words that it was not enough to introduce one
2:36:11
Speaker 1: or two of those situations which one finds in all romances,
2:36:16
Speaker 1: and which always seduced the spectator, but that it was
2:36:19
Speaker 1: necessary to be new, without being odd, often sublime, and
2:36:25
Speaker 1: always natural, to know the human heart and to make
2:36:29
Speaker 1: it speak, To be a great poet without allowing any
2:36:33
Speaker 1: person in the piece to appear to be a poet,
2:36:37
Speaker 1: To know language perfectly, to speak it with purity, with
2:36:41
Speaker 1: continuous harmony, and without rhythm, ever taking anything from sense.
2:36:47
Speaker 1: Whoever added, he does not observe all these rules can
2:36:51
Speaker 1: produce one or two tragedies applauded at a theater, but
2:36:56
Speaker 1: he will never be counted in the ranks of good writer.
2:37:00
Speaker 1: There are very few good tragedies. Some are idols in dialog,
2:37:05
Speaker 1: well written and well rhymed. Others political reasonings which lull
2:37:10
Speaker 1: to sleep, or amplifications which repel others, demoniac dreams in
2:37:17
Speaker 1: barbarous style, interrupted in sequence with long apostrophes to the gods,
2:37:22
Speaker 1: because they do not know how to speak to men,
2:37:26
Speaker 1: with false maxims, with bombastic commonplaces. Candide listened with attention
2:37:32
Speaker 1: to this discourse and conceived a great idea of the speaker,
2:37:37
Speaker 1: And as the Marchioness had taken care to place him
2:37:40
Speaker 1: beside her, he leaned towards her and took the liberty
2:37:44
Speaker 1: of asking who was the man who had spoken so well.
2:37:48
Speaker 1: He is a scholar, said the lady, who does not play,
2:37:52
Speaker 1: whom the abbess sometimes brings to supper. He is perfectly
2:37:56
Speaker 1: at home among tragedies and books. And he has written
2:38:00
Speaker 1: a tragedy which was histe, and a book of which
2:38:03
Speaker 1: nothing has ever been seen outside his bookseller's shop, excepting
2:38:08
Speaker 1: the copy which he dedicated to me. The great man
2:38:12
Speaker 1: said Candide, he is another pangloss. Then, turning towards him,
2:38:17
Speaker 1: he said, sir, you think doubtless that all is for
2:38:21
Speaker 1: the best in the moral and physical world, and that
2:38:24
Speaker 1: nothing could be otherwise than it is. Ay, sir, answered
2:38:28
Speaker 1: the scholar, I know nothing of all that. I find
2:38:31
Speaker 1: that all goes awry with me. That no one knows
2:38:35
Speaker 1: either what is his rank, nor what is his condition,
2:38:39
Speaker 1: what he does, nor what he ought to do, And
2:38:42
Speaker 1: that except supper, which is always gay, and where there
2:38:46
Speaker 1: appears to be enough concord, all the rest of the
2:38:50
Speaker 1: time is passed in impertinent quarrels. Jansenest against Molinist, parliament
2:38:55
Speaker 1: against the church, men of letters against men of letters,
2:38:59
Speaker 1: courtisans against tortoise AND's, financiers against the people, wives against husbands,
2:39:05
Speaker 1: relatives against relatives. It is eternal war. I have seen
2:39:10
Speaker 1: the worst, Candide replied, But a wise man who since
2:39:14
Speaker 1: has had the misfortune to be hanged, taught me that
2:39:17
Speaker 1: all is marvelously well. These are but the shadows on
2:39:21
Speaker 1: a beautiful picture. Your hanged man marks the world, said Martin.
2:39:27
Speaker 1: The shadows are horrible blots. They are men who make
2:39:31
Speaker 1: the blots, said Candide, and they cannot be dispensed with.
2:39:35
Speaker 1: It is not their fault, then, said Martin. Most of
2:39:38
Speaker 1: the punters, who understood nothing of this language, drank, and
2:39:42
Speaker 1: Martin reasoned with the scholar, and Candide related some of
2:39:46
Speaker 1: his adventures to his hostess. After supper, the marchioness took
2:39:50
Speaker 1: Candide into her boudoir and made him sit upon a sofa.
2:39:54
Speaker 1: Ah well, said she to him. You love desperately, Miss Cunegonde,
2:39:59
Speaker 1: of than under tin trunk, Yes, madam, answered Candide. The
2:40:03
Speaker 1: marchionist replied to him, with a tender smile, You answer
2:40:07
Speaker 1: me like a young man from Westphalia. A Frenchman would
2:40:11
Speaker 1: have said, it is true that I have loved Miss Cunegonde,
2:40:15
Speaker 1: but seeing you, Madame, I think I no longer love her.
2:40:19
Speaker 1: Alas Madame said Candide, I will answer you as you
2:40:23
Speaker 1: wish your passion for her, said the marchioness, commenced by
2:40:28
Speaker 1: picking up her handkerchief. I wish that you would pick
2:40:31
Speaker 1: up my garter with all my heart, said Candide, and
2:40:35
Speaker 1: he picked it up. But I wish that you would
2:40:38
Speaker 1: put it on, said the lady, And Candide put it on.
2:40:42
Speaker 1: You see, said she. You are a foreigner. I sometimes
2:40:46
Speaker 1: make my Parisian lovers languish for fifteen days, but I
2:40:51
Speaker 1: give myself to you the first night, because one must
2:40:55
Speaker 1: do the honors of one's country to a young man
2:40:59
Speaker 1: from West Falia. The lady, having perceived two enormous diamonds
2:41:03
Speaker 1: upon the hands of the young foreigner, praised them with
2:41:07
Speaker 1: such good faith that from Candide's fingers they passed to
2:41:11
Speaker 1: her own. Candide, returning with the Perigordian Abbe, felt some
2:41:16
Speaker 1: remorse in having been unfaithful to Miss Cunegonda. The Abbe
2:41:21
Speaker 1: sympathized in his trouble. He had had but a light
2:41:24
Speaker 1: part of the fifty thousand francs lost at play, and
2:41:27
Speaker 1: of the value of the two brilliants half given, half extorted.
2:41:31
Speaker 1: His design was to profit as much as he could
2:41:35
Speaker 1: by the advantages which the acquaintance of Candide could procure
2:41:39
Speaker 1: for him. He spoke much of Cunegonda, and Candide told
2:41:43
Speaker 1: him that he should ask forgiveness of that beautiful one
2:41:46
Speaker 1: for his infidelity when he should see her in Venice.
2:41:50
Speaker 1: The Abbe redoubled his politeness and attentions, and took a
2:41:54
Speaker 1: tender interest in all that Candide said, in all that
2:41:57
Speaker 1: he did, in all that he wished to do. And so, sir,
2:42:02
Speaker 1: you have a rendezvous at Venice. Yes, monsieur Abbe, answered Candide,
2:42:06
Speaker 1: it is absolutely necessary that I go to meet miss Cunegonde.
2:42:11
Speaker 1: And then the pleasure of talking of that which he
2:42:14
Speaker 1: loved induced him to relate according to his custom, part
2:42:18
Speaker 1: of his adventures with the fair Westphalian. I believe, said
2:42:22
Speaker 1: the Abbe, that miss Cunaganda has a great deal of wit,
2:42:26
Speaker 1: and that she writes charming letters. I have never received
2:42:30
Speaker 1: any from her, said Candide, for being expelled from the
2:42:34
Speaker 1: castle on her account, I had not an opportunity for
2:42:37
Speaker 1: writing to her. Soon after that, I heard she was dead.
2:42:41
Speaker 1: Then I found her alive, Then I lost her again,
2:42:44
Speaker 1: And last of all I sent an express to her
2:42:48
Speaker 1: two thousand, five hundred leagues from here, and I wait
2:42:51
Speaker 1: for an answer. The abbe listened attentively and seemed to
2:42:55
Speaker 1: be in a brown study. He soon took his leave
2:42:58
Speaker 1: of the two foreigners after a most tender embrace. The
2:43:02
Speaker 1: following day, Candide received on awaking a letter couched in
2:43:07
Speaker 1: these terms, my very dear love. For eight days I
2:43:12
Speaker 1: have been ill in this town. I learned that you
2:43:14
Speaker 1: are here. I would fly to your arms if I
2:43:18
Speaker 1: could but move. I was informed of your passage at Bordeaux,
2:43:22
Speaker 1: where I left faithful Cacambo and the old woman, who
2:43:25
Speaker 1: are to follow me very soon. The governor of Buenos
2:43:28
Speaker 1: Aires has taken all, but there remains to me. Your
2:43:32
Speaker 1: heart come, Your presence will either give me life or
2:43:36
Speaker 1: kill me with pleasure. This charming, this unhoped for letter,
2:43:41
Speaker 1: transported Candide with an inexpressible joy, and the illness of
2:43:46
Speaker 1: his dear Cunegonde overwhelmed him with grief. Divided between those
2:43:51
Speaker 1: two passions, he took his gold and his diamonds and
2:43:54
Speaker 1: hurried away with Martin to the hotel where miss Cunegonde
2:43:58
Speaker 1: was lodged. He entered her room, trembling, his heart palpitating,
2:44:03
Speaker 1: his voice sobbing. He wished to open the curtains of
2:44:07
Speaker 1: the bed and ask for a light. Take care what
2:44:11
Speaker 1: you do, said the servant maid. The light hurt her,
2:44:15
Speaker 1: and immediately she drew the curtain again. My dear Cunegonde,
2:44:20
Speaker 1: said Candide, weeping. How are you if you cannot see me,
2:44:24
Speaker 1: at least speak to me. She cannot speak, said the maid.
2:44:28
Speaker 1: The lady then put a plump hand out from the bed,
2:44:31
Speaker 1: and Candide bathed it with his tears, and afterwards filled
2:44:35
Speaker 1: it with diamonds, leaving a bag of gold upon the
2:44:38
Speaker 1: easy chair. In the midst of these transports, in came
2:44:41
Speaker 1: an officer, followed by the abbe and a file of soldiers.
2:44:45
Speaker 1: There said he are the two suspected foreigners, and at
2:44:49
Speaker 1: the same time he ordered them to be seized and
2:44:52
Speaker 1: carried to prison. Travelers are not treated thus in El Dorado,
2:44:56
Speaker 1: said Candide. I am more a Manichean now than ever,
2:45:00
Speaker 1: said Martin. But pray, sir, where are you going to
2:45:04
Speaker 1: carry us? Said Candide toward Dungeon, answered the officer. Martin,
2:45:09
Speaker 1: having recovered himself a little, judged that the lady who
2:45:12
Speaker 1: acted the part of Cunegonda was a cheat, that the
2:45:15
Speaker 1: Perigordian Abbe was a knave who had imposed upon the
2:45:19
Speaker 1: honest simplicity of Candide, and that the officer was another
2:45:23
Speaker 1: knave whom they might easily silence. Candide, advised by Martin
2:45:27
Speaker 1: and impatient to see the real Cunegonde, rather than expose
2:45:31
Speaker 1: himself before a court of justice, proposed to the officer
2:45:35
Speaker 1: to give him three small diamonds, each worth about three
2:45:38
Speaker 1: thousand pistoles. Ah, Sir, said the man with the ivory baton,
2:45:44
Speaker 1: Had you committed all the imaginable crimes, you would be
2:45:48
Speaker 1: to me the most honest man in the world three
2:45:53
Speaker 1: diamonds each worth three thousand pistoles, Sir. Instead of carrying
2:45:58
Speaker 1: you to jail, I would use my life to serve you.
2:46:02
Speaker 1: There are orders for arresting all foreigners, but leave it
2:46:06
Speaker 1: to me. I have a brother at Dieppe, Normandy. I'll
2:46:10
Speaker 1: conduct you thither, and if you have a diamond to
2:46:12
Speaker 1: give him, he'll take as much care of you as
2:46:16
Speaker 1: I would. And why said Candide, should all foreigners be arrested.
2:46:21
Speaker 1: It is the Perigordian Abbe then made answer, because a
2:46:24
Speaker 1: poor beggar of the country of Atterbeta heard some foolish
2:46:29
Speaker 1: things said. This induced him to commit a parricide, not
2:46:34
Speaker 1: such as that of sixteen ten in the month of May,
2:46:37
Speaker 1: but such as that of fifteen ninety four in the
2:46:40
Speaker 1: month of December, and such as others which have been
2:46:43
Speaker 1: committed in other years and other months by other poor
2:46:47
Speaker 1: devils who had heard nonsense spoken. The officer then explained
2:46:52
Speaker 1: what the abbe meant. Ah the monsters cried, Candide, what
2:46:56
Speaker 1: horrors among a people who dance and sing? Is there
2:46:59
Speaker 1: no way of getting quickly out of this country where
2:47:02
Speaker 1: monkeys provoke tigers. I have seen no bears in my country,
2:47:07
Speaker 1: but men I have beheld nowhere except in El Dorado.
2:47:10
Speaker 1: In the name of God, Sir, conduct me to Venice,
2:47:13
Speaker 1: where I am to await Miss Cunegonde. I can conduct
2:47:17
Speaker 1: you no further than lower Normandy, said the officer. Immediately,
2:47:21
Speaker 1: he ordered his irons to be struck off, acknowledged himself mistaken,
2:47:26
Speaker 1: sent away his men set out with Candide and Martin Fordieppe,
2:47:30
Speaker 1: and left them in the care of his brother. There
2:47:33
Speaker 1: was then a small Dutch ship in the harbor. The Norman, who,
2:47:37
Speaker 1: by the virtue of three more diamonds, had become the
2:47:40
Speaker 1: most subservient of men, put Candide and his attendants on
2:47:44
Speaker 1: board a vessel that was just ready to set sail
2:47:47
Speaker 1: for Portsmouth in England. This was not the way to Venice,
2:47:51
Speaker 1: but Candide thought he had made his way out of hell,
2:47:55
Speaker 1: and reckoned that he would soon have an opportunity for
2:47:58
Speaker 1: resuming his journey. End Chapter twenty two, Chapter twenty three,
2:48:06
Speaker 1: Candide and Martin touched upon the coast of England. And
2:48:10
Speaker 1: what they saw there Ah, pangloss, pangloss, Ah, Martin Martin, Ah,
2:48:17
Speaker 1: my dear Counegonda, What sort of a world is this?
2:48:22
Speaker 1: Said Candide, on board the Dutch ship. Something very foolish
2:48:26
Speaker 1: and abominable, said Martin. You know England. Are they as
2:48:30
Speaker 1: foolish there as in France? It is another kind of folly,
2:48:35
Speaker 1: said Martin. You know that these two nations are in
2:48:38
Speaker 1: war for a few acres of snow in Canada, and
2:48:42
Speaker 1: that they spend over this beautiful warm much more than
2:48:46
Speaker 1: Canada is worth to tell you exactly whether there are
2:48:50
Speaker 1: more people fit to send to a madhouse in one
2:48:53
Speaker 1: country than the other. Is what my imperfect intelligence will
2:48:57
Speaker 1: not permit. I only know in general that the people
2:49:01
Speaker 1: we are going to see are very atrabilious talking. Thus
2:49:06
Speaker 1: they arrived at Portsmouth. The coast was lined with crowds
2:49:10
Speaker 1: of people whose eyes were fixed on a fine man
2:49:13
Speaker 1: kneeling with his eyes bandaged, on board one of the
2:49:17
Speaker 1: men of war. In the harbor. Four soldiers stood opposite
2:49:20
Speaker 1: to this man. Each of them fired three balls at
2:49:24
Speaker 1: his head with all the calmness in the world, and
2:49:27
Speaker 1: the whole assembly went away very well satisfied. What is
2:49:32
Speaker 1: all this, said Candide, and what demon is it that
2:49:36
Speaker 1: exercises his empire in this country? He then asked who
2:49:40
Speaker 1: was that fine man who had been killed with so
2:49:43
Speaker 1: much ceremony. They answered, he was an admiral. And why
2:49:47
Speaker 1: kill this admiral? It is because he did not kill
2:49:51
Speaker 1: a sufficient number of men himself. He gave battle to
2:49:55
Speaker 1: a French admiral, and it has been proved that he
2:49:58
Speaker 1: was not near enough to him, But replied Candide, the
2:50:01
Speaker 1: French admiral was as far from the English admiral. There
2:50:05
Speaker 1: is no doubt of it. But in this country it
2:50:08
Speaker 1: is found good from time to time to kill one
2:50:11
Speaker 1: admiral to encourage the others. Candide was so shocked and
2:50:15
Speaker 1: bewildered by what he saw and heard that he would
2:50:18
Speaker 1: not set foot on shore. And he made a bargain
2:50:21
Speaker 1: with a Dutch skipper, were he even to rob him
2:50:24
Speaker 1: like the Surinam captain, to conduct him without delay to Venice.
2:50:29
Speaker 1: The skipper was ready. In two days they coasted France.
2:50:33
Speaker 1: They passed in sight of Lisbon, and Candide trembled. They
2:50:37
Speaker 1: passed through the Straits and entered the Mediterranean. At last
2:50:43
Speaker 1: they landed at Venice. God be praised, said Candide, embracing Martin.
2:50:49
Speaker 1: It is here that I shall see again my beautiful Cunegonde.
2:50:53
Speaker 1: I trust Cacambo as myself. All is well, all will
2:50:58
Speaker 1: be well, All goes as well as possible. End Chapter
2:51:04
Speaker 1: twenty three, Chapter twenty four of Paquette and Friar Girophile.
2:51:11
Speaker 1: Upon their arrival at Venice, Candide went to search for
2:51:14
Speaker 1: Cacambo at every inn and coffee house, and among all
2:51:18
Speaker 1: the ladies of pleasure, but to no purpose. He sent
2:51:22
Speaker 1: every day to inquire on all ships that came in,
2:51:25
Speaker 1: but there was no news of Cacambo. What he said
2:51:29
Speaker 1: to Martin, I have had time to voyage from Suriname
2:51:33
Speaker 1: to Bordeaux, to go from Bordeaux to Paris, from Paris
2:51:36
Speaker 1: to Dieppe, from Dieppe to Portsmouth, to coast along Portugal
2:51:40
Speaker 1: and Spain, to cross the whole Mediterranean, to spend some months,
2:51:46
Speaker 1: and yet the beautiful Cunegonde has not arrived. Instead of her,
2:51:49
Speaker 1: I have only met a Parisian WinCE and a Perigordian abbe.
2:51:53
Speaker 1: Cunegonde is dead, without doubt, and there is nothing for
2:51:57
Speaker 1: me but to die. Alas, how much better it would
2:52:01
Speaker 1: have been for me to have remained in the paradise
2:52:04
Speaker 1: of El Dorado than to come back to this cursed Europe.
2:52:08
Speaker 1: You are in the right, my dear Martin. All is
2:52:11
Speaker 1: misery and illusion. He fell into a deep melancholy, and
2:52:17
Speaker 1: neither went to see the opera, nor any of the
2:52:19
Speaker 1: other diversions of the carnival. Nay, he was proof against
2:52:24
Speaker 1: the temptations of all the ladies. You are, in truth
2:52:27
Speaker 1: very simple, said Martin to him. If you imagine that
2:52:31
Speaker 1: a mongrel valet who has five or six million in
2:52:35
Speaker 1: his pocket will go to the other end of the
2:52:37
Speaker 1: world to seek your mistress and bring her to you
2:52:41
Speaker 1: to Venice. If he find her, he will keep her
2:52:44
Speaker 1: to himself. If he do not find her, he will
2:52:47
Speaker 1: get another. I advise you to forget your valet Cacambo
2:52:51
Speaker 1: and your mistress Cunegonda. Martin was not consoling. Candide's melancholy increased,
2:52:58
Speaker 1: and Martin continued to prove to him that there was
2:53:01
Speaker 1: very little virtue or happiness upon earth, except perhaps in
2:53:05
Speaker 1: El Dorado, where nobody could gain admittance. While they were
2:53:09
Speaker 1: disputing on this important subject and waiting for Cunegonde, Candide
2:53:14
Speaker 1: saw a young Theatin friar in Saint Mark's Piazza, holding
2:53:18
Speaker 1: a girl on his arm. The Theatin looked fresh colored, plump,
2:53:23
Speaker 1: and vigorous. His eyes were sparkling, his air assured, his
2:53:28
Speaker 1: look lofty, and his step bold. The girl was very
2:53:32
Speaker 1: pretty and sang. She looked amorously at her Theatin, and
2:53:36
Speaker 1: from time to time pinched his fat cheeks. At least
2:53:41
Speaker 1: you will allow me, said Candide to Martin, that these
2:53:44
Speaker 1: two are happy. Hitherto I have met with none but
2:53:47
Speaker 1: unfortunate people in the whole habitable globe, except in El Dorado.
2:53:52
Speaker 1: But as to this pair, I would venture to lay
2:53:54
Speaker 1: a wager that they are very happy. I lay you
2:53:57
Speaker 1: they are not, said Martin. Need only ask them to
2:54:01
Speaker 1: dine with us, said Candide, and you will see whether
2:54:04
Speaker 1: I am mistaken. Immediately he accosted them, presented his compliments,
2:54:09
Speaker 1: and invited them to his inn to eat some macaroni
2:54:12
Speaker 1: with Lombard partridges and caviare, and to drink some Montepulciano,
2:54:17
Speaker 1: La Crimee, Cristie Cypress and Samos wine. The girl blushed
2:54:23
Speaker 1: the theatin accepted the invitation, and she followed him, casting
2:54:27
Speaker 1: her eyes on Candide with confusion and surprise, and dropping
2:54:31
Speaker 1: a few tears. No sooner had she set foot in
2:54:34
Speaker 1: Candide's apartment than she cried out, oh, mister Candide does
2:54:39
Speaker 1: not know Paquette. Again, Candide had not viewed her as
2:54:42
Speaker 1: yet with attention, his thoughts being entirely taken up with Cunegonde,
2:54:46
Speaker 1: but recollecting her as she spoke. Alas, said he, my
2:54:50
Speaker 1: poor child. It is you who reduced doctor Pangloss to
2:54:54
Speaker 1: the beautiful condition in which I saw him. Alas it
2:54:58
Speaker 1: was I, sir, indeed, answered Paquette, I see that you
2:55:01
Speaker 1: have heard all I have been informed of the frightful
2:55:04
Speaker 1: disasters that befell the family of my lady Baroness and
2:55:08
Speaker 1: the fair Cunegonde. I swear to you that my fate
2:55:12
Speaker 1: has been scarcely less, Sad. I was very innocent when
2:55:16
Speaker 1: you knew me. A gray friar who was my confessor,
2:55:19
Speaker 1: easily seduced me. The consequences were terrible. I was obliged
2:55:24
Speaker 1: to quit the castle some time after the baron had
2:55:27
Speaker 1: sent you away with kicks on the backside. If a
2:55:30
Speaker 1: famous surgeon had not taken compassion on me, I should
2:55:33
Speaker 1: have died for some time. I was this surgeon's mistress
2:55:37
Speaker 1: merely out of gratitude. His wife, who was mad with jealousy,
2:55:41
Speaker 1: beat me every day unmercifully. She was a fury. The
2:55:45
Speaker 1: surgeon was one of the ugliest of men, and I
2:55:49
Speaker 1: the most wretched of women, to be continually beaten for
2:55:52
Speaker 1: a man I did not love. You know, sir, what
2:55:56
Speaker 1: a dangerous thing it is for an ill natured woman
2:55:59
Speaker 1: to be married to a doctor. Insinced at the behavior
2:56:03
Speaker 1: of his wife, he one day gave her so effectual
2:56:06
Speaker 1: a remedy to cure her of a slight cold that
2:56:09
Speaker 1: she died two hours after. In most horrid convulsions. The
2:56:14
Speaker 1: wife's relations prosecuted the husband. He took flight, and I
2:56:18
Speaker 1: was thrown into jail. My innocence would not have saved
2:56:22
Speaker 1: me if I had not been good looking. The judge
2:56:25
Speaker 1: set me free on condition that he succeeded the surgeon.
2:56:30
Speaker 1: I was soon supplanted by a rival, turned out of doors,
2:56:34
Speaker 1: quite destitute, and obliged to continue this abominable trade, which
2:56:39
Speaker 1: appears so pleasant to you men, while to us women
2:56:43
Speaker 1: it is the utmost abyss of misery. I have come
2:56:46
Speaker 1: to exercise the profession at venice, Ah Sir, If you
2:56:51
Speaker 1: could only imagine what it is to be obliged to
2:56:55
Speaker 1: caress indifferently an old merchant, a lawyer, a monk, a
2:56:59
Speaker 1: god deleer, an abbe. To be exposed to abuse and insults,
2:57:05
Speaker 1: To be often reduced to borrowing a petticoat, only to
2:57:08
Speaker 1: go and have it raised by a disagreeable man, To
2:57:12
Speaker 1: be robbed by one of what one has earned from another,
2:57:16
Speaker 1: To be subject to the extortions of the officers of justice,
2:57:21
Speaker 1: and to have in prospect only a frightful old age,
2:57:25
Speaker 1: a hospital and a dunghill. You would conclude that I
2:57:29
Speaker 1: am one of the most unhappy creatures in the world.
2:57:34
Speaker 1: Paquette thus opened her heart to honest Candide in the
2:57:38
Speaker 1: presence of Martin, who said to his friend, you see
2:57:41
Speaker 1: that already I have won half the wager. Friar Giroflee
2:57:46
Speaker 1: stayed in the dining room and drank a glass or
2:57:48
Speaker 1: two of wine while he was waiting for dinner. But
2:57:52
Speaker 1: said Candide to Paquette, you looked so gay and content
2:57:55
Speaker 1: when I met you. You sang, and you behaved so
2:57:58
Speaker 1: lovingly to the thief that you seemed to me as
2:58:02
Speaker 1: happy as you pretend to be. Now the reverse, Ah, Sir,
2:58:07
Speaker 1: answered Paquette, this is one of the miseries of the trade.
2:58:11
Speaker 1: Yesterday I was robbed and beaten by an officer. Yet
2:58:14
Speaker 1: to day I must put on good humor to please
2:58:18
Speaker 1: a friar. Candide wanted no more convincing. He owned that
2:58:22
Speaker 1: Martin was in the right. They sat down to table
2:58:25
Speaker 1: with Paquette in the theatin. The repast was entertaining, and
2:58:29
Speaker 1: towards the end they conversed with all confidence. Father said
2:58:34
Speaker 1: Candide to the friar, you appear to me to enjoy
2:58:37
Speaker 1: a state that all the world might envy. The flower
2:58:41
Speaker 1: of health shines in your face. Your expression makes plain
2:58:45
Speaker 1: your happiness. You have a very pretty girl for your recreation,
2:58:50
Speaker 1: and you seem well satisfied with your state as a
2:58:53
Speaker 1: theatin my faith, Sir, said Friar Giraffe, I wish that
2:58:57
Speaker 1: all the theatins were at the bottom of this. See.
2:59:00
Speaker 1: I have been tempted a hundred times to set fire
2:59:04
Speaker 1: to the convent and go and become a turk. My
2:59:07
Speaker 1: parents forced me, at the age of fifteen, to put
2:59:10
Speaker 1: on this detestable habit to increase the fortune of a
2:59:14
Speaker 1: cursed elder brother, whom God confound jealousy, discord, and fury
2:59:20
Speaker 1: dwell in the convent. It is true I have preached
2:59:23
Speaker 1: a few bad sermons that have brought me in a
2:59:25
Speaker 1: little money, of which the prior stole half, while the
2:59:28
Speaker 1: rest serves to maintain my girls. Oh, when I return
2:59:32
Speaker 1: at night to the monastery, I am ready to dash
2:59:35
Speaker 1: my head against the walls of the dormitory, And all
2:59:39
Speaker 1: my fellows are in the same case. Martin turned towards
2:59:43
Speaker 1: Candide with his usual coolness, well said he have I
2:59:48
Speaker 1: not won the whole wager. Candide gave two thousand piastres
2:59:53
Speaker 1: to Poquet and one thousand to friar giroflee. I'll answer
2:59:58
Speaker 1: for it, said he, that with this they will be happy.
3:00:02
Speaker 1: I do not believe it at all, said Martin. You will,
3:00:05
Speaker 1: perhaps with these piastres, only render them the more unhappy.
3:00:10
Speaker 1: Let that be as it may, said Candide. But one
3:00:13
Speaker 1: thing consoles me. I see that we often meet with
3:00:17
Speaker 1: those whom we expected never to see. More so that perhaps,
3:00:21
Speaker 1: as I have found my red sheep and Paquette, it
3:00:24
Speaker 1: may well be that I shall also find cunegonde. I wish,
3:00:29
Speaker 1: said Martin. She may one day make you very happy.
3:00:33
Speaker 1: But I doubt it very much. You are very hard
3:00:36
Speaker 1: of belief, said Candide. I have lived, said Martin. You
3:00:41
Speaker 1: see those gondoliers, said Candide. Are they not perpetually singing?
3:00:46
Speaker 1: You do not see them, said Martin, at home with
3:00:49
Speaker 1: their wives and brats. The doge has his troubles, the
3:00:52
Speaker 1: gondoliers have theirs. It is true that, all things considered,
3:00:57
Speaker 1: the life of a gondolier is preferable to that of
3:00:59
Speaker 1: a doe. But I believe the difference to be so
3:01:02
Speaker 1: trifling that it is not worth the trouble of examining
3:01:06
Speaker 1: people talk, said Candide of the Senator Pococurante, who lives
3:01:11
Speaker 1: in that fine palace on the Brenta, where he entertains
3:01:15
Speaker 1: foreigners in the politest manner. They pretend that this man
3:01:19
Speaker 1: has never felt any uneasiness. I should be glad to
3:01:23
Speaker 1: see such a rarity, said Martin. Candide immediately sent to
3:01:28
Speaker 1: ask the Lord Pococurante permission to wait upon him the
3:01:32
Speaker 1: next day. End Chapter twenty four, Chapter twenty five the
3:01:39
Speaker 1: visit to Lord Pococurante, a noble Venetian. Candide and Martin
3:01:45
Speaker 1: went in a gondola on the Brinta and arrived at
3:01:48
Speaker 1: the palace of the noble Signor Pococurante. The gardens, laid
3:01:53
Speaker 1: out with taste, were adorned with fine marble statues. The
3:01:57
Speaker 1: palace was beautifully built. Chester of the house was a
3:02:01
Speaker 1: man of sixty and very rich. He received the two
3:02:04
Speaker 1: travelers with polite indifference, which put Candide a little out
3:02:08
Speaker 1: of countenance, but was not at all disagreeable to Martin. First,
3:02:14
Speaker 1: two pretty girls, very neatly dressed, served them with chocolate,
3:02:18
Speaker 1: which was frothed exceedingly well. Candide could not refrain from
3:02:23
Speaker 1: commending their beauty, grace and address. They are good enough creatures.
3:02:27
Speaker 1: Said the Senator. I make them lie with me sometimes,
3:02:31
Speaker 1: for I am very tired of the ladies of the town,
3:02:34
Speaker 1: of their coquetries, of their jalousies, of their quarrels, of
3:02:38
Speaker 1: their humors, of their petty essays, of their prides, of
3:02:44
Speaker 1: their follies, and of the sonnets which one must make
3:02:48
Speaker 1: or have made for them. But after all these two
3:02:52
Speaker 1: girls begin to weary me. After breakfast, Candide, walking into
3:02:57
Speaker 1: a long gallery, was surprised by the beautiful pictures. He
3:03:02
Speaker 1: asked by what master were the two first thereby, Raphael
3:03:07
Speaker 1: said the Senator. I bought them at a great price
3:03:10
Speaker 1: out of vanity some years ago. They are said to
3:03:13
Speaker 1: be the finest things in Italy. But they do not
3:03:16
Speaker 1: please me at all. The colors are too dark, the
3:03:20
Speaker 1: figures are not sufficiently rounded, nor in good relief. The
3:03:25
Speaker 1: draperies in no way resemble stuffs. In a word, whatever
3:03:29
Speaker 1: may be said, I do not find there a true
3:03:33
Speaker 1: imitation of nature. I only care for a picture when
3:03:37
Speaker 1: I think I see nature itself, and there are none
3:03:40
Speaker 1: of this sort. I have a great many pictures, but
3:03:44
Speaker 1: I prize them very little. While they were waiting for dinner,
3:03:48
Speaker 1: Pococurante ordered a concert. Candide found the music delicious. This noise,
3:03:56
Speaker 1: said the Senator, may amuse one for half an hour,
3:04:00
Speaker 1: but if it were to last longer, it would grow
3:04:02
Speaker 1: tiresome to everybody, though they durst not own it. Music
3:04:08
Speaker 1: today is only the art of executing difficult things, and
3:04:13
Speaker 1: that which is only difficult cannot please long. Perhaps I
3:04:18
Speaker 1: should be fonder of the opera if they had not
3:04:20
Speaker 1: found the secret of making of it a monster which
3:04:24
Speaker 1: shocks me? Let who will go to see bad tragedy
3:04:28
Speaker 1: set to music? Whether scenes are contrived for no other
3:04:33
Speaker 1: end than to introduce two or three songs ridiculously out
3:04:37
Speaker 1: of place, to show off an actress's voice. Let, who
3:04:42
Speaker 1: will or who can die away with pleasure at the
3:04:46
Speaker 1: sight of a eunuch quavering the rule of Caesar or
3:04:50
Speaker 1: of Cato, and strutting awkwardly upon the stage. For my part,
3:04:56
Speaker 1: I have long since renounced those paltry entertainments which constitute
3:05:01
Speaker 1: the glory of modern Italy and are purchased so dearly
3:05:05
Speaker 1: by sovereigns. Candide disputed the point a little, but with
3:05:09
Speaker 1: discretion Martin was entirely of the Senator's opinion. They sat
3:05:14
Speaker 1: down to table, and after an excellent dinner. They went
3:05:18
Speaker 1: into the library. Candide, seeing a Homer magnificently bound, commended
3:05:24
Speaker 1: the virtuoso on his good taste there, said, he is
3:05:28
Speaker 1: a book that was once the delight of the great Pangloss,
3:05:31
Speaker 1: the best philosopher in Germany. It is not mine, answered
3:05:36
Speaker 1: Pococurante coolly. They used at one time to make me
3:05:39
Speaker 1: believe that I took a pleasure in reading him. But
3:05:43
Speaker 1: what continual repetition of battle so extremely like one another,
3:05:48
Speaker 1: Those gods that are always active without doing anything decisive,
3:05:53
Speaker 1: That Helen, who is the cause of the war, and
3:05:56
Speaker 1: who yet scarcely appears in the piece, that Troy so
3:06:00
Speaker 1: long besieged without being taken. All these together caused me
3:06:05
Speaker 1: great weariness. I have sometimes asked learned men whether they
3:06:10
Speaker 1: were not as weary as I of that work. Those
3:06:13
Speaker 1: who were sincere have owned to me that the poem
3:06:16
Speaker 1: made them fall asleep. Yet it was necessary to have
3:06:19
Speaker 1: it in their library as a monument of antiquity, or
3:06:23
Speaker 1: like those rusty medals which are no longer of use
3:06:26
Speaker 1: in commerce. But your excellency does not think thus of Virgil,
3:06:31
Speaker 1: said Candide. I. Grant said the senator that the second
3:06:34
Speaker 1: fourth and sixth books of his Aenid are excellent, But
3:06:39
Speaker 1: as for his pious Enaeus, his strong Cloanthus, his friend
3:06:43
Speaker 1: Acates is little Assanius, his silly king Latinus is bourgeois Amata,
3:06:50
Speaker 1: his insipid Lavinia. I think there can be nothing more
3:06:54
Speaker 1: flat and disagreeable. I prefer Tasso a good deal, or
3:06:59
Speaker 1: even the supperific tales of Ariosto. May I presume to
3:07:04
Speaker 1: ask you, sir, said Candide, whether you do not receive
3:07:07
Speaker 1: a great deal of pleasure from reading Horace. There are
3:07:11
Speaker 1: maxims in this writer, answered Pococurante, from which a man
3:07:15
Speaker 1: of the world may reap great benefit, and being written
3:07:19
Speaker 1: in energetic verse, they are more easily impressed upon the memory.
3:07:23
Speaker 1: But I care little for this journey to Brundusium, and
3:07:28
Speaker 1: his account of a bad dinner, or of his low
3:07:31
Speaker 1: quarrel between one Rupelius, whose words he says were full
3:07:35
Speaker 1: of poisonous filth, and another whose language was imbued with vinegar.
3:07:41
Speaker 1: I have read with much distaste his indelicate verses against
3:07:45
Speaker 1: old women and witches. Nor do I see any merit
3:07:49
Speaker 1: in telling his friend Mae Cinis that if he will
3:07:52
Speaker 1: but rank him in the choir of lyric poets. His
3:07:55
Speaker 1: lofty head shall touch the stars. Fools admire ev everything
3:08:00
Speaker 1: in an author of reputation. For my part, I read
3:08:04
Speaker 1: only to please myself. I like only that which serves
3:08:08
Speaker 1: my purpose. Candide, having been educated never to judge for himself,
3:08:14
Speaker 1: was much surprised at what he heard. Martin found there
3:08:18
Speaker 1: was a good deal of reason in Pococurante's remarks. Oh
3:08:22
Speaker 1: here is Cicero, said Candide. Here is the great man
3:08:26
Speaker 1: whom I fancy you are never tired of reading. I
3:08:29
Speaker 1: never read him, replied the Venetian. What is it to
3:08:32
Speaker 1: me whether he pleads for Rabirius or Clueincius. I try
3:08:37
Speaker 1: causes enough myself. His philosophical work seemed to me better.
3:08:42
Speaker 1: But when I found that he doubted of everything, I
3:08:46
Speaker 1: concluded that I knew as much as he, and that
3:08:48
Speaker 1: I had no need of a guide to learn ignorance. Ha.
3:08:53
Speaker 1: Here are four score volumes of the Academy of Sciences,
3:08:56
Speaker 1: cried Martin. Perhaps there is something valuable in this collection,
3:09:01
Speaker 1: there might be, said Pococurante, if only one of those
3:09:05
Speaker 1: rakers of rubbish had shown how to make pins. But
3:09:09
Speaker 1: in all these volumes there is nothing but chimerical systems,
3:09:13
Speaker 1: and not a single useful thing. And what dramatic works
3:09:18
Speaker 1: I see here, said Candide in Italian, Spanish and French. Yes,
3:09:23
Speaker 1: replied the Senator, there are three thousand and not three
3:09:27
Speaker 1: dozen of them good for anything. As to those collections
3:09:31
Speaker 1: of sermons, which altogether are not worth a single page
3:09:35
Speaker 1: of Seneca, and those huge volumes of theology, you may
3:09:40
Speaker 1: well imagine that neither I nor any one else ever
3:09:43
Speaker 1: opens them. Martin saw some shelves filled with English books.
3:09:48
Speaker 1: I have a notion, said he, that a Republican must
3:09:51
Speaker 1: be greatly pleased with most of these books, which are
3:09:54
Speaker 1: written with a spirit of freedom. Yes, answered Pococurante. It
3:10:00
Speaker 1: is noble to write as one thinks. This is the
3:10:03
Speaker 1: privilege of humanity. In all our Italy, we write only
3:10:07
Speaker 1: what we do not think. Those who inhabit the country
3:10:10
Speaker 1: of the Caesars and the Antoninuses dare not acquire a
3:10:15
Speaker 1: single idea without the permission of a Dominican friar. I
3:10:19
Speaker 1: should be pleased with the liberty which inspires the English genius,
3:10:22
Speaker 1: if passion and party spirit did not corrupt all that
3:10:26
Speaker 1: is estimable in this precious liberty, Candid observing a Milton
3:10:32
Speaker 1: asked whether he did not look upon this author as
3:10:35
Speaker 1: a great man, who said, pococurante, that barbarian who writes
3:10:40
Speaker 1: a long commentary in ten books of harsh verse on
3:10:44
Speaker 1: the first chapter of Genesis, that coarse imitator of the Greeks,
3:10:49
Speaker 1: who disfigures a creation, and who, while Moses represents the
3:10:55
Speaker 1: eternal producing the world by a word, makes the Messiah
3:10:59
Speaker 1: take a great pair of compasses from the armory of
3:11:02
Speaker 1: heaven to circumscribe his work. How can I have any
3:11:07
Speaker 1: esteem for a writer who has spoiled Tasso's hell, and
3:11:11
Speaker 1: the devil who transforms Lucifer, sometimes into a toad and
3:11:15
Speaker 1: other times into a pygmy, who makes him repeat the
3:11:19
Speaker 1: same things a hundred times, who makes him dispute on theology,
3:11:24
Speaker 1: who by a serious imitation of Ariosto's comic invention of firearms,
3:11:30
Speaker 1: represents the devil's cannon nodding in heaven. Neither I nor
3:11:35
Speaker 1: any man in Italy could take pleasure in those melancholy extravagances.
3:11:41
Speaker 1: And the marriage of sin and death, and the snakes
3:11:44
Speaker 1: brought forth by sin are enough to turn the stomach
3:11:48
Speaker 1: of anyone with the least taste, and his long description
3:11:52
Speaker 1: of a pest house is good only for a grave digger.
3:11:57
Speaker 1: This obscure, whimsical, and disagreeable poem was despised upon its
3:12:02
Speaker 1: first publication, and I only treat it now as it
3:12:06
Speaker 1: was treated in its own country by contemporaries. For the
3:12:10
Speaker 1: matter of that, I say what I think, and I
3:12:14
Speaker 1: care very little whether others think as I do. Candide
3:12:18
Speaker 1: was grieved at this speech, for he had a respect
3:12:21
Speaker 1: for Homer and was fond of Milton Alas, said he
3:12:24
Speaker 1: softly to Martin. I am afraid that this man holds
3:12:28
Speaker 1: our German poets in very great contempt. There would not
3:12:32
Speaker 1: be much harm in that, said Martin. Oh what a
3:12:36
Speaker 1: superior man, said Candide below his breath. What a great
3:12:40
Speaker 1: genius is this pococurante. Nothing can please him. After their
3:12:46
Speaker 1: survey of the library, they went down into the garden,
3:12:48
Speaker 1: where Candide praised its several beauties. I know of nothing
3:12:53
Speaker 1: in so bad a taste, said the master. All you
3:12:56
Speaker 1: see here is merely trifling. After tomorrow I will have
3:13:00
Speaker 1: planted with a nobler design, well, said Candide to Martin.
3:13:04
Speaker 1: When they had taken their leave. You will agree that
3:13:06
Speaker 1: this is the happiest of mortals, for he is above
3:13:09
Speaker 1: everything he possesses. But do you not see, answered Martin,
3:13:13
Speaker 1: that he is disgusted with all he possesses. Plato observed
3:13:17
Speaker 1: a long while ago that those stomachs are not the best,
3:13:21
Speaker 1: that reject all sorts of food. But is there not
3:13:25
Speaker 1: a pleasure? Said Candide, in criticizing everything in pointing out
3:13:29
Speaker 1: faults where others see nothing but beauties, that is to say,
3:13:34
Speaker 1: replied Martin, that there is some pleasure in having no pleasure. Well, well,
3:13:41
Speaker 1: said Candide, I find that I shall be the only
3:13:44
Speaker 1: happy man when I am blessed with the sight of
3:13:47
Speaker 1: my dear Cunegonde. It is always well to hope, said Martin. However,
3:13:52
Speaker 1: the days in the weeks passed, Cacambo did not come,
3:13:56
Speaker 1: and Candide was so overwhelmed with greed that he did
3:14:00
Speaker 1: not even reflect that Paquette and Friar Giroflee did not
3:14:05
Speaker 1: return to thank him. End Chapter twenty five. Chapter twenty
3:14:11
Speaker 1: six of a supper which Candide and Martin took with
3:14:16
Speaker 1: six strangers and who they were One evening that Candide
3:14:21
Speaker 1: and Martin were going to sit down to supper with
3:14:24
Speaker 1: some foreigners who lodged in the same inn. A man
3:14:27
Speaker 1: whose complexion was as black as soot, came behind Candide,
3:14:32
Speaker 1: and taking him by the arm, said, get yourself ready
3:14:35
Speaker 1: to go along with us. Do not fail upon this.
3:14:39
Speaker 1: He turned round and saw Cacambo. Nothing but the sight
3:14:43
Speaker 1: of Cunegonde could have astonished and delighted him more. He
3:14:48
Speaker 1: was on the point of going mad with joy. He
3:14:50
Speaker 1: embraced his dear friend. Cunegonde is here, without doubt, where
3:14:54
Speaker 1: is she? Take me to her, that I may die
3:14:56
Speaker 1: of joy in her company. Cunegonde is not he here,
3:15:00
Speaker 1: said Cacambo. She is at Constantinople. Oh, heavens at Constantinople.
3:15:06
Speaker 1: But were she in China, I would fly thither. Let
3:15:09
Speaker 1: us be off. We shall set out after supper, replied Cacambo.
3:15:14
Speaker 1: I can tell you nothing more. I am a slave.
3:15:17
Speaker 1: My master awaits me. I must serve him at table,
3:15:21
Speaker 1: speak not a word, eat, and then get ready. Candide,
3:15:26
Speaker 1: distracted between joy and grief, delighted at seeing his faithful
3:15:30
Speaker 1: agent again, astonished at finding him a slave, filled with
3:15:34
Speaker 1: the fresh hope of recovering his mistress, his heart palpitating,
3:15:38
Speaker 1: his understanding, confused, sat down to table with Martin, who
3:15:43
Speaker 1: saw all these scenes quite unconcerned, and with six strangers
3:15:47
Speaker 1: who had come to spend the carnival at Venice, Cacambo,
3:15:51
Speaker 1: waited at table. Upon one of the strangers. Towards the
3:15:54
Speaker 1: end of the entertainment, he drew near his master and
3:15:57
Speaker 1: whispered in his ear, Sire, your man majesty may start
3:16:01
Speaker 1: when you please. The vessel is ready. On saying these words,
3:16:05
Speaker 1: he went out. The company, in great surprise, looked at
3:16:09
Speaker 1: one another without speaking a word. When another domestic approached
3:16:13
Speaker 1: his master and said to him, sire, your majesty's chase
3:16:17
Speaker 1: is at Padua, and the boat is ready. The master
3:16:21
Speaker 1: gave a nod and the servant went away. The company
3:16:25
Speaker 1: all stared at one another again, and their surprise redoubled.
3:16:29
Speaker 1: A third valet came up to a third stranger, saying, sire,
3:16:34
Speaker 1: leave me. Your majesty ought not to stay here any longer.
3:16:38
Speaker 1: I am going to get everything ready, and immediately he disappeared.
3:16:43
Speaker 1: Candide and Martin did not doubt that this was a
3:16:45
Speaker 1: masquerade of the carnival. Then a fourth domestic said to
3:16:49
Speaker 1: a fourth master, your majesty may depart when you please.
3:16:54
Speaker 1: Saying this, he went away like the rest. The fifth
3:16:57
Speaker 1: valet said the same thing to the fifth master, But
3:17:01
Speaker 1: the sixth valet spoke differently to the sixth stranger, who
3:17:05
Speaker 1: sat near Candide. He said to him, faith sire, they
3:17:09
Speaker 1: will no longer give credit to your majesty nor to me,
3:17:13
Speaker 1: and we may perhaps both of us be put in
3:17:15
Speaker 1: jail this very night. Therefore I will take care of
3:17:18
Speaker 1: myself adieu. The servants being all gone, the six strangers,
3:17:23
Speaker 1: with Candide and Martin, remained in a profound silence. At length,
3:17:27
Speaker 1: Candide broke in, gentlemen, said he this is a very
3:17:31
Speaker 1: good joke, indeed, but why should you all be kings
3:17:35
Speaker 1: for me? I own that neither Martin nor I is
3:17:38
Speaker 1: a king. Cacambo's master then gravely answered in Italian, I
3:17:42
Speaker 1: am not jo king. My name is Ocmet the third.
3:17:46
Speaker 1: I was a great sult In many years. I dethroned
3:17:50
Speaker 1: my brother, My nephew dethroned me. My viziers were beheaded,
3:17:55
Speaker 1: and I am condemned to end my days in the
3:17:58
Speaker 1: old serraglio. My nephew, the great Sultan Mahmud, permits me
3:18:03
Speaker 1: to travel sometimes for my health, and I am come
3:18:06
Speaker 1: to spend the carnival at Venice. A young man who
3:18:11
Speaker 1: sat next to Akhmed spoke, then, as follows, my name
3:18:15
Speaker 1: is Ivan. I was once emperor of all the Russias,
3:18:19
Speaker 1: but was dethroned in my cradle. My parents were confined
3:18:23
Speaker 1: in prison, and I was educated there. Yet I am
3:18:27
Speaker 1: sometimes allowed to travel in company with persons who act
3:18:31
Speaker 1: as guards. And I am come to spend the carnival
3:18:35
Speaker 1: at Venice. The third said.
3:18:38
Speaker 2: I am Charles Edward, King of England. My father has
3:18:43
Speaker 2: resigned all his legal rights to me. I have fought
3:18:46
Speaker 2: in defense of them, and above eight hundred of my
3:18:49
Speaker 2: adherents have been hanged, drawn and quartered. I have been
3:18:54
Speaker 2: confined in prison. I am going to Rome prepare a
3:18:57
Speaker 2: visit to the king, my father, who were throned, as
3:19:01
Speaker 2: well as myself and my grandfather. And I am come
3:19:04
Speaker 2: to spend carnival at Venice. The fourth spoke thus in
3:19:08
Speaker 2: his turn, I am the King of Poland. The fortune
3:19:12
Speaker 2: of war has stripped me of my hereditary dominions. My
3:19:16
Speaker 2: father underwent the same vicissitudes. I resigned myself to providence
3:19:21
Speaker 2: in the same manner as Sultan Akhmed, the Emperor Ivan
3:19:25
Speaker 2: and King Charles Edward, whom God long preserve, and I
3:19:30
Speaker 2: am come to the carnoval at Venice. The fifth said,
3:19:35
Speaker 2: I am king of Poland. Also, I have been twice dethroned.
3:19:39
Speaker 1: What Providence has given me another country where I have
3:19:42
Speaker 1: done more good than all the Sarmatian kings whatever capable
3:19:46
Speaker 1: of doing on the banks of the Vistuba. I resigned
3:19:50
Speaker 1: myself likewise to Providence, and am come to pass the
3:19:54
Speaker 1: carnval at Venice. It was now the sixth monarch's turned
3:19:59
Speaker 1: to speak. Gentlemen, said he, I am not so great
3:20:05
Speaker 1: a prince as any of you. However, I am a king.
3:20:09
Speaker 1: I am Theodore elected King of Corsica. I had the
3:20:13
Speaker 1: title of Majesty, and now I am scarcely treated as
3:20:18
Speaker 1: a gentleman. I have coined money, and now I am
3:20:22
Speaker 1: not worth a farthing. I have had two secretaries of state,
3:20:28
Speaker 1: and now I have scarce a valet. I have seen
3:20:32
Speaker 1: myself on a throne, and I have seen myself upon
3:20:36
Speaker 1: straw in a common jail in London. I am afraid
3:20:40
Speaker 1: that I shall meet with the same treatment here, though
3:20:43
Speaker 1: like your Majesty's I am come to see the carnival
3:20:47
Speaker 1: at Venice. The other five kings listened to this speech
3:20:51
Speaker 1: with generous compassion. Each of them gave twenty sequins to
3:20:55
Speaker 1: King Theodore to buy him clothes and linen, and Candide
3:21:00
Speaker 1: made him a present of a diamond worth two thousand sequins.
3:21:05
Speaker 1: Who can this private person be, said the five kings
3:21:08
Speaker 1: to one another, who is able to give and really
3:21:11
Speaker 1: has given a hundred times as much as any of us.
3:21:16
Speaker 1: Just as they rose from the table, in came four
3:21:19
Speaker 1: serene highnesses who had also been stripped of their territories
3:21:23
Speaker 1: by the fortune of war, and were come to spend
3:21:26
Speaker 1: the carnival at Venice. But Candide paid no regard to
3:21:30
Speaker 1: these newcomers. His thoughts were entirely employed on his voyage
3:21:35
Speaker 1: to Constantinople in search of his beloved Cunegonde. End Chapter
3:21:42
Speaker 1: twenty six, Chapter twenty seven. Candide's voyage to Constantinople. The
3:21:49
Speaker 1: faithful Cacambo had already prevailed upon the Turkish skipper who
3:21:53
Speaker 1: was to conduct the Sultan Ukmet to Constantinople to receive
3:21:57
Speaker 1: Candide and Martin on his ship. They both embarked after
3:22:01
Speaker 1: having made their obeisance to his miserable highness. You see,
3:22:06
Speaker 1: said Candide to Martin. On the way we supped with
3:22:09
Speaker 1: six dethroned kings, and of those six there was one
3:22:13
Speaker 1: to whom I gave charity. Perhaps there are many other princes,
3:22:17
Speaker 1: yet more unfortunate for my part, I have only lost
3:22:20
Speaker 1: a hundred sheep, and now I am flying into Cunegonda's arms.
3:22:25
Speaker 1: My dear Martin, Yet once more Pangloss was right. All
3:22:30
Speaker 1: is for the best, I wish it, answered Martin. But
3:22:34
Speaker 1: said Candide, it was a very strange adventure we met
3:22:38
Speaker 1: with at Venice. It has never before been seen or
3:22:41
Speaker 1: heard that six dethroned kings have supped together at a
3:22:45
Speaker 1: public inn. It is not more extraordinary, said Martin, than
3:22:50
Speaker 1: most of the things that have happened to us. It
3:22:53
Speaker 1: is a very common thing for kings to be dethroned,
3:22:56
Speaker 1: And as for the honor we have had of supping
3:22:59
Speaker 1: in their company, it is a trifle not worth our attention.
3:23:03
Speaker 1: No sooner had Candide got on board the vessel than
3:23:06
Speaker 1: he flew to his old valet and friend Cacambo, and
3:23:10
Speaker 1: tenderly embraced him. Well, said he, what news of Cunegonda?
3:23:14
Speaker 1: Is she still a prodigy of beauty? Does she love
3:23:18
Speaker 1: me still? How is she thou hast doubtless bought her
3:23:21
Speaker 1: a palace at Constantinople, my dear master, answered Cacambo. Cunegonda
3:23:26
Speaker 1: washes dishes on the banks of the Propontis in the
3:23:29
Speaker 1: service of a prince who has very few dishes to wash.
3:23:33
Speaker 1: She is a slave in the family of an ancient
3:23:36
Speaker 1: sovereign named Ragotski, to whom the Grand Turk allows three
3:23:40
Speaker 1: crowns a day in his exile. But what is worse
3:23:44
Speaker 1: still is that she has lost her beauty and has
3:23:47
Speaker 1: become horribly ugly. Well handsome or ugly, replied Candide. I
3:23:53
Speaker 1: am a man of honor, and it is my duty
3:23:56
Speaker 1: to love her still. But how came she to be
3:23:58
Speaker 1: reduced to so abject of state? With the five or
3:24:01
Speaker 1: six millions that you took to her, ah said Cacambo.
3:24:06
Speaker 1: Was I not to give two millions to Signor Don
3:24:08
Speaker 1: Fernando di Bara i Figuroa I mascarenes i lampor Dosi Susa,
3:24:14
Speaker 1: Governor of Buenos Aires, for permitting Miss Cunaganda to come away?
3:24:19
Speaker 1: And did not a corsair bravely rob us of all
3:24:22
Speaker 1: the rest, did not discursair carry us to Cape Matapan,
3:24:26
Speaker 1: to Milo, to Nicaria, to Samos, to Petra, to the
3:24:30
Speaker 1: dad Nalies, to Marmora, to Scutari, Cunegonda and the old
3:24:35
Speaker 1: woman serve the prince I now mentioned to you, and
3:24:38
Speaker 1: I am slave to the dethroned Sultan. What a series
3:24:42
Speaker 1: of shocking calamities, cried Candide. But after all, I have
3:24:47
Speaker 1: some diamonds left, and I may easily pay Cunegonda's ransom. Yes,
3:24:51
Speaker 1: it is a pity that she has grown so ugly. Then,
3:24:54
Speaker 1: turning towards Martin, who do you think, said he is
3:24:57
Speaker 1: most to be pitied, the Sultan achm the Emperor Ivan,
3:25:01
Speaker 1: King Charles Edward, or I How should I know? Answered Martin.
3:25:06
Speaker 1: I must see into your hearts to be able to tell, ah,
3:25:11
Speaker 1: said Candide. If Pangloss were here, he could tell I
3:25:15
Speaker 1: know not, said pardon. In what sort of scales your
3:25:19
Speaker 1: Pangloss would weigh the misfortunes of mankind and set a
3:25:23
Speaker 1: just estimate on their sorrows. All that I can presume
3:25:27
Speaker 1: to say is that there are millions of people upon
3:25:31
Speaker 1: earth who have a hundred times more to complain of
3:25:34
Speaker 1: than King Charles Edward, the Emperor Ivan, or the Sultan Achmet.
3:25:40
Speaker 1: That may well be said, Kandide. In a few days
3:25:44
Speaker 1: they reached the Bosphorus, and Candide began by paying a
3:25:48
Speaker 1: very high ransom for Cacambo. Then, without losing time, he
3:25:52
Speaker 1: and his companions went on board a galley in order
3:25:55
Speaker 1: to search on the banks of the Propontis for his Cunegonde,
3:25:59
Speaker 1: however she might have become. Among the crew, there were
3:26:03
Speaker 1: two slaves who rode very badly, and to whose bare
3:26:07
Speaker 1: shoulders the leventeen captain would now and then apply blows
3:26:11
Speaker 1: from a bull's pistle. Candide, from a natural impulse, looked
3:26:16
Speaker 1: at these two slaves more attentively than at the other oarsmen,
3:26:19
Speaker 1: and approached them with pity. Their features, though greatly disfigured,
3:26:24
Speaker 1: had a slight resemblance to those of Pangloss and the
3:26:28
Speaker 1: unhappy Jesuit and Westphalian baron brother to miss Cunegonde. This
3:26:33
Speaker 1: moved and saddened him. He looked at them still more attentively. Indeed,
3:26:38
Speaker 1: said he to Cacambo, if I had not seen Master
3:26:41
Speaker 1: Pangloss hanged, and if I had not had the misfortune
3:26:45
Speaker 1: to kill the baron, I should think it was they
3:26:47
Speaker 1: that were rowing at the names of the baron and
3:26:50
Speaker 1: of Pangloss. The two galley slaves uttered a loud cry,
3:26:54
Speaker 1: held fast by the seat, and let drop their oars.
3:26:58
Speaker 1: The captain ran up to them and redoubled his blows
3:27:01
Speaker 1: with the bull's pistle. Stop stop, Sir, cried Candide, I
3:27:05
Speaker 1: will give you what money you please. What it is, Candide,
3:27:09
Speaker 1: said one of the slaves. What here it is, Candide
3:27:13
Speaker 1: said the other? Do I dream, cried Candide? Or am
3:27:16
Speaker 1: I awake? Or am I on board the galley? Is
3:27:19
Speaker 1: this the baron whom I killed? Is this Master Pangloss,
3:27:23
Speaker 1: whom I saw hanged? It is we? It is we?
3:27:27
Speaker 1: Answered they? Well, is this a great philosopher? Said martin
3:27:32
Speaker 1: Ah captain said Candide, what ransom will you take for
3:27:35
Speaker 1: Monsieur de Thundertin Trunk, one of the first barons of
3:27:39
Speaker 1: the Empire, and for Monsieur Pangloss, the profoundest metaphysician in Germany?
3:27:45
Speaker 1: Dog of a Christian? Answered the Levantine captain. Since these
3:27:48
Speaker 1: two dogs of Christian slaves are barons and metaphysicians, which
3:27:53
Speaker 1: I doubt not are high dignities in their country, you
3:27:56
Speaker 1: shall give me fifty thousand sequins. You shall have them, Sir,
3:28:01
Speaker 1: carry me back at once, to Constantinople, and you shall
3:28:04
Speaker 1: receive the money directly, But no carry me first to
3:28:08
Speaker 1: miss Cunegonde. Upon the first proposal made by Candide, however,
3:28:13
Speaker 1: the Levantine captain had already tagged about and made the
3:28:16
Speaker 1: crew ply their oars quicker than a bird cleased the air.
3:28:20
Speaker 1: Candide embraced the baron and Pangloss a hundred times. And
3:28:25
Speaker 1: how happened it, my dear Baron, that I did not
3:28:28
Speaker 1: kill you, and my dear Pangloss, how came you to
3:28:32
Speaker 1: life again after being hanged? And why are you both
3:28:36
Speaker 1: in a Turkish galley? And it is true that my
3:28:39
Speaker 1: dear sister is in this country, said the baron. Yes,
3:28:43
Speaker 1: answered Cacambo. Then I behold once more my dear Chandide,
3:28:49
Speaker 1: cried Pangloss. Candide presented Martin and Cacambo to them. They
3:28:54
Speaker 1: embraced each other and all spoke at once. The galley
3:28:58
Speaker 1: flew They were already in the port Instantly. Kandide sent
3:29:02
Speaker 1: for a jew, to whom he sold for fifty thousand
3:29:05
Speaker 1: sequins a diamond worth a hundred thousand. Though the fellow
3:29:09
Speaker 1: swore to him by Abraham that he could give him
3:29:11
Speaker 1: no more, he immediately paid the ransom for the Baron
3:29:15
Speaker 1: and Pangloss. The latter threw himself at the feet of
3:29:18
Speaker 1: his deliverer and bathed them with his tears. The former
3:29:23
Speaker 1: thanked him with a nod and promised to return him
3:29:26
Speaker 1: the money on the first opportunity. But it is indeed
3:29:29
Speaker 1: possible that my sister can be in Turkey, said he.
3:29:32
Speaker 1: Nothing is more possible, said Cacambo, since she scours the
3:29:36
Speaker 1: dishes in the service of a Transylvanian prince. Kandide sent
3:29:40
Speaker 1: directly for two Jews and sold them some more diamonds.
3:29:44
Speaker 1: And then they all set out together in another galley
3:29:48
Speaker 1: to deliver Cunegonda from slavery. End Chapter twenty seven, Chapter
3:29:54
Speaker 1: twenty eight. What happened to Candide, Cunegonde, Pangloss, mar et cetera.
3:30:01
Speaker 1: I ask your pardon once more, said Candide to the Baron,
3:30:04
Speaker 1: your pardon, Reverend father, for having run you through the body.
3:30:08
Speaker 1: Say no more about it, answered the Baron. I was
3:30:11
Speaker 1: a little too hasty, I own, But since you wished
3:30:14
Speaker 1: to know by what fatality I came to be a
3:30:16
Speaker 1: galley slave, I will inform you. After I had been
3:30:20
Speaker 1: cured by the surgeon of the College of the wound
3:30:23
Speaker 1: you gave me. I was attacked and carried off by
3:30:25
Speaker 1: a party of Spanish troops, who confined me in prison
3:30:29
Speaker 1: at Buenos Aires at the very time my sister was
3:30:32
Speaker 1: setting out. Thence I asked leave to return to Rome.
3:30:36
Speaker 1: To the general of my order, I was appointed chaplain
3:30:39
Speaker 1: to the French ambassador at Constantinople. I had not been
3:30:42
Speaker 1: eight days in this employment when one evening I met
3:30:46
Speaker 1: with a young Itoglan, who was a very handsome fellow.
3:30:50
Speaker 1: The weather was warm, the young man wanted to bathe,
3:30:53
Speaker 1: and I took this opportunity of bathing. Also, I did
3:30:57
Speaker 1: not know that it was a capital crime for a
3:30:59
Speaker 1: cristest to be found naked with a young mussulman. A
3:31:03
Speaker 1: kadi ordered me a hundred blows on the soles of
3:31:06
Speaker 1: the feet and condemned me to the galleys. I do
3:31:09
Speaker 1: not think there ever was a greater act of injustice.
3:31:13
Speaker 1: But I should be glad to know how my sister
3:31:16
Speaker 1: came to be a scullion to a Transylvanian prince who
3:31:19
Speaker 1: has taken shelter among the Turks. But you, my dear Pangloss,
3:31:24
Speaker 1: said Candide, how can it be that I behold you again.
3:31:28
Speaker 1: It is true, said Pangloss, that you saw me hanged.
3:31:32
Speaker 1: I should have been burnt, but you may remember it
3:31:35
Speaker 1: rained exceedingly hard when they were going to roast me.
3:31:39
Speaker 1: The storm was so violent that they despaired of lighting
3:31:43
Speaker 1: the fire. So I was hanged. Because they could do
3:31:46
Speaker 1: no better. A surgeon purchased my body, carried me home,
3:31:51
Speaker 1: and dissected me. He began with making a crucial incision
3:31:56
Speaker 1: on me, from the navel to the clavicula. One could
3:32:00
Speaker 1: not have been worse hanged than I was. The executioner
3:32:05
Speaker 1: of the Holy Inquisition was a subdeacon and knew how
3:32:09
Speaker 1: to burn people marvelously well, but he was not accustomed
3:32:14
Speaker 1: to hanging. The cord was wet and did not slip properly,
3:32:18
Speaker 1: and besides it was badly tied. In short, I still
3:32:22
Speaker 1: drew my breath when the crucial incision made me give
3:32:26
Speaker 1: such a frightful scream that my surgeon fell flat upon
3:32:30
Speaker 1: his back, and, imagining that he had been dissecting the devil,
3:32:34
Speaker 1: he ran away, dying with fear, and fell down the staircase.
3:32:39
Speaker 1: In his flight. His wife, hearing the noise, flew from
3:32:43
Speaker 1: the next room. She saw me stretched out upon the
3:32:46
Speaker 1: table with my crucial incision. She was seized with yet
3:32:51
Speaker 1: greater fear than her husband, fled and tumbled over him.
3:32:56
Speaker 1: When they came to themselves a little I heard the
3:32:58
Speaker 1: wife say to her, My dear, how could you take
3:33:02
Speaker 1: it into your head to dissect a heretic? Do you
3:33:05
Speaker 1: not know that these people always have the devil in
3:33:09
Speaker 1: their bodies? I will go and fetch a priest this
3:33:12
Speaker 1: minute to exercise him. At this proposal, I shuddered, and,
3:33:17
Speaker 1: mustering up what little courage I had still remaining, I
3:33:21
Speaker 1: cried out aloud, have mercy on me. At length, the
3:33:25
Speaker 1: Portuguese barber plucked up his spirits, he sewed up my wounds.
3:33:29
Speaker 1: His wife even nursed me. I was upon my legs.
3:33:33
Speaker 1: At the end of fifteen days. The barber found me
3:33:37
Speaker 1: a place as lackey to a knight of Malta who
3:33:40
Speaker 1: was going to Venice. But finding that my master had
3:33:44
Speaker 1: no money to pay me my wages, I entered the
3:33:47
Speaker 1: service of a Venetian merchant and went with him to Constantinople.
3:33:52
Speaker 1: One day I took it into my head to step
3:33:55
Speaker 1: into a mosque where I saw an old emon with
3:33:58
Speaker 1: a very pretty young dear Votee, who was saying her
3:34:02
Speaker 1: petron nosters. Her bosom was uncovered, and between her breasts
3:34:06
Speaker 1: she had a beautiful bouquet of tulips, roses, anemones, ranunculus, hyacinths,
3:34:13
Speaker 1: and auriculas. She dropped her bouquet. I picked it up
3:34:18
Speaker 1: and presented it to her with a profound reverence. I
3:34:22
Speaker 1: was so long in delivering it that the iman began
3:34:26
Speaker 1: to get angry, and seeing that I was a Christian,
3:34:29
Speaker 1: he called out for help. They carried me before the Kadi,
3:34:34
Speaker 1: who ordered me a hundred lashes on the soles of
3:34:37
Speaker 1: the feet and sent me to the galleys. I was
3:34:40
Speaker 1: chained to the very same galley and the same bench
3:34:44
Speaker 1: as the young baron. On board this galley there were
3:34:48
Speaker 1: four young men from Marseilles, five Neapolitan priests, and two
3:34:53
Speaker 1: monks from Kofu, who told us similar adventures happened daily.
3:34:57
Speaker 1: The baron maintained that he had suffered greater injustice than I,
3:35:02
Speaker 1: and I insisted that it was far more innocent to
3:35:04
Speaker 1: take up a bouquet and place it again on a
3:35:07
Speaker 1: woman's bosom and be found stark naked with a nicheglan.
3:35:11
Speaker 1: We were continually disputing and received twenty lashes with a
3:35:15
Speaker 1: bull's pizzle when the concatenation of universal events brought you
3:35:20
Speaker 1: to our galley, and you were good enough to ransom us. Well,
3:35:24
Speaker 1: my dear Pangloss, said Candide to him, when you had
3:35:27
Speaker 1: been hanged, dissected, whipped, and were tugging at the oar,
3:35:31
Speaker 1: Did you always think that everything happens for the best?
3:35:35
Speaker 1: I am still of my first opinion, answered Pangloss, for
3:35:39
Speaker 1: I am a philosopher, and I cannot retract, especially as
3:35:44
Speaker 1: Leibnitz could never be wrong. And besides, the pre established
3:35:48
Speaker 1: harmony is the finest thing in the world, and so
3:35:52
Speaker 1: is his plenum and Materia's subtlese end Chapter twenty eight.
3:35:59
Speaker 1: Chapter two twenty nine, how Candide found Cunegonda and the
3:36:03
Speaker 1: old woman again. While Candide, the Baron, Pangloss, Martin, and
3:36:09
Speaker 1: Cacambo were relating their several adventures, were reasoning on the
3:36:13
Speaker 1: contingent or non contingent events of the universe, disputing on
3:36:18
Speaker 1: effects and causes, on moral and physical evil, on liberty
3:36:22
Speaker 1: and necessity, and on the consolations a slave may feel
3:36:27
Speaker 1: even on a Turkish galley. They arrived at the house
3:36:30
Speaker 1: of the Transylvanian prints on the banks of the Propontis.
3:36:34
Speaker 1: The first objects which met their sight were Cunegonda and
3:36:38
Speaker 1: the old woman, hanging towels out to dry. The Baron
3:36:42
Speaker 1: paled at this site. The tender loving Candide, seeing his
3:36:46
Speaker 1: beautiful Cunegonda, embrowned with bloodshot eyes, withered neck, wrinkled cheeks,
3:36:53
Speaker 1: and rough red arms, recoiled three paces, seized with horror,
3:36:58
Speaker 1: and then advanced out of good manners. She embraced Kandide
3:37:03
Speaker 1: and her brother. They embraced the old woman, and Candide
3:37:06
Speaker 1: ransomed them both. There was a small farm in the neighborhood,
3:37:10
Speaker 1: which the old woman proposed to Candide to make a
3:37:13
Speaker 1: shift with till the company could be provided for in
3:37:17
Speaker 1: a better manner. Cunegonde did not know she had grown ugly,
3:37:21
Speaker 1: for nobody had told her of it, and she reminded
3:37:24
Speaker 1: Candide of his promise in so positive a tone that
3:37:27
Speaker 1: the good man Durst not refuse her. He therefore intimated
3:37:32
Speaker 1: to the Baron that he intended marrying his sister. I
3:37:35
Speaker 1: will not suffer, said the Baron, such meanness on her part,
3:37:39
Speaker 1: and such insolence on yours. I will never be reproached
3:37:43
Speaker 1: with this scandalous thing. My sister's children would never be
3:37:47
Speaker 1: able to enter the church in Germany. No, my sister
3:37:51
Speaker 1: shall only marry a baron of the empire. Cunegonde flung
3:37:56
Speaker 1: herself at his feet and bathed them with her tears.
3:38:00
Speaker 1: Still he was inflexible, Thou foolish fellow, said Candide. I
3:38:05
Speaker 1: have delivered thee out of the galleys. I have paid
3:38:08
Speaker 1: thy ransom and thy sisters. Also. She was a scullion
3:38:12
Speaker 1: and is very ugly. Yet I am so condescending as
3:38:15
Speaker 1: to marry her, and dost thou pretend to oppose the match?
3:38:19
Speaker 1: I should kill thee again? Were I only to consult
3:38:22
Speaker 1: my anger, thou mayest kill me again, said the baron.
3:38:26
Speaker 1: But thou shalt not marry my sister at least whilst
3:38:30
Speaker 1: I am living. End Chapter twenty nine, Chapter thirty the conclusion.
3:38:39
Speaker 1: At the bottom of his heart, Candide had no wish
3:38:42
Speaker 1: to marry Cunegonde, but the extreme impertinence of the baron
3:38:46
Speaker 1: determined him to conclude the match, and Cunegonda pressed him
3:38:50
Speaker 1: so strongly that he could not go from his word.
3:38:53
Speaker 1: He consulted Pangloss Martin and the faithful Cacambo. Pangloss drew
3:38:58
Speaker 1: up an excellent memorial, wherein he proved that the baron
3:39:02
Speaker 1: had no right over his sister, and that according to
3:39:05
Speaker 1: all the laws of the Empire, she might marry Candide
3:39:08
Speaker 1: with her left hand. Martin was for throwing the baron
3:39:13
Speaker 1: into the sea. Cacambo decided that it would be better
3:39:16
Speaker 1: to deliver him up again to the captain of the galley,
3:39:19
Speaker 1: after which they thought to send him back to the
3:39:22
Speaker 1: General Father of the Order at Rome by the first ship.
3:39:26
Speaker 1: This advice was well received, The old woman approved it.
3:39:30
Speaker 1: They said not a word to his sister. The thing
3:39:33
Speaker 1: was executed for a little money, and they had the
3:39:35
Speaker 1: double pleasure of entrapping a jesuit and punishing the pride
3:39:40
Speaker 1: of a German baron. It is natural to imagine that
3:39:43
Speaker 1: after so many disasters, Candide married and living with the
3:39:47
Speaker 1: philosopher Pangloss, The philosopher Martin, the prudent Cacambo, and the
3:39:52
Speaker 1: old woman, having besides brought so many diamonds from the
3:39:56
Speaker 1: country of the ancient Incas, must have led a very
3:39:59
Speaker 1: hi But he was so much imposed upon by the
3:40:04
Speaker 1: Jews that he had nothing left except his small farm,
3:40:07
Speaker 1: his wife became uglier every day, more peevish and unsupportable.
3:40:13
Speaker 1: The old woman was infirm and even more fretful than Cunegonda. Cacambo,
3:40:18
Speaker 1: who worked in the garden and took vegetables for sale
3:40:21
Speaker 1: to Constantinople, was fatigued with hard work and cursed his destiny.
3:40:27
Speaker 1: Pangloss was in despair at not shining in some German university.
3:40:32
Speaker 1: For Martin, he was firmly persuaded that he would be
3:40:35
Speaker 1: as badly off elsewhere, and therefore bore things patiently. Candide,
3:40:41
Speaker 1: Martin and Pangloss sometimes disputed about morals and metaphysics. They
3:40:46
Speaker 1: often saw passing under the windows of their farm boats
3:40:50
Speaker 1: full of Effendi's pashas and kaddies who were going into
3:40:54
Speaker 1: banishment to Lemnos, Mitteline or Erzerum. And they saw other kuddies,
3:41:00
Speaker 1: these pashas and offendees coming to supply the place of
3:41:03
Speaker 1: the exiles, and afterwards exiled. In their turn, they saw
3:41:08
Speaker 1: heads decently impaled for presentation to the Sublime Porte. Such
3:41:13
Speaker 1: spectacles as these increased the number of their dissertations, and
3:41:17
Speaker 1: when they did not dispute, time hung so heavily upon
3:41:21
Speaker 1: their hands that one day, the old woman ventured to
3:41:23
Speaker 1: say to them, I want to know which is worse.
3:41:27
Speaker 1: To be ravished a hundred times by Negro pirates, to
3:41:31
Speaker 1: have a buttock cut off, to run the gauntlet among
3:41:34
Speaker 1: the Bulgarians, to be whipped and hanged at an auto
3:41:38
Speaker 1: da fe, to be dissected, to row in the galleys
3:41:42
Speaker 1: in short, to go through all the miseries we have undergone,
3:41:46
Speaker 1: or to stay here and have nothing to do. It
3:41:51
Speaker 1: is a great question, said Candide. This discourse gave rise
3:41:56
Speaker 1: to new reflections, and Martin especially concluded that a man
3:42:00
Speaker 1: was born to live either in a state of distracting
3:42:03
Speaker 1: inquietude or of lethargic disgust. Candide did not quite agree
3:42:09
Speaker 1: to that, but he affirmed nothing. Pangloss owned that he
3:42:13
Speaker 1: had always suffered horribly, but as he had once asserted
3:42:17
Speaker 1: that everything went wonderfully well, he asserted it still, though
3:42:22
Speaker 1: he no longer believed it. What helped to confirm Martin
3:42:26
Speaker 1: in his detestable principles, to stagger Candide more than ever,
3:42:30
Speaker 1: and to puzzle Pangloss, was that one day they saw
3:42:34
Speaker 1: Paquette and Friar Giafflee land at the farm in extreme misery,
3:42:40
Speaker 1: they had soon squandered their three thousand piastres, parted, were reconciled,
3:42:45
Speaker 1: quarreled again, were thrown into jail, had escaped, and friar
3:42:50
Speaker 1: Giofflee had at length become Turk. Paquette continued her trade
3:42:54
Speaker 1: wherever she went, but made nothing of it. I foresaw,
3:42:59
Speaker 1: said Martin Candide, that your presence would soon be dissipated,
3:43:03
Speaker 1: but only make them the more miserable. You have rolled
3:43:07
Speaker 1: in millions of money, you and Cacambo, and yet you
3:43:11
Speaker 1: are not happier than fraarg Rafflee and Pequette. Ah, said
3:43:16
Speaker 1: Pangloss to Paquet. Providence has then brought you amongst us again,
3:43:21
Speaker 1: my poor child. Do you know that you cost me
3:43:25
Speaker 1: the tip of my nose, an eye and an ear?
3:43:29
Speaker 1: As you may see what a world this is? And
3:43:33
Speaker 1: now this new adventure set them philosophizing more than ever.
3:43:39
Speaker 1: In the neighborhood there lived a very famous dervish who
3:43:43
Speaker 1: was esteemed the best philosopher in all Turkey, and they
3:43:46
Speaker 1: went to consult him. Pangloss was the speaker. Master said
3:43:52
Speaker 1: he we come to beg you to tell why so
3:43:56
Speaker 1: strange an animal as man was made yeth what meddlest,
3:44:01
Speaker 1: thou said the Dervish.
3:44:03
Speaker 3: Is it thy business?
3:44:06
Speaker 1: But Reverend Father said Candide, there is horrible evil in
3:44:10
Speaker 1: this world?
3:44:11
Speaker 3: What signifies it? Said the Dervish, whether there be evil
3:44:15
Speaker 3: or good? When His Highness sends a ship to Egypt,
3:44:20
Speaker 3: does he trouble his head? Whether the mice on board
3:44:23
Speaker 3: are at their ease or not? What then must we do,
3:44:28
Speaker 3: said Pangloss, old gal tongue answered the Dervish. I was
3:44:32
Speaker 3: in hopes, said Pangloss, that I should reason with you
3:44:35
Speaker 3: a little about causes and effects, about the best of
3:44:39
Speaker 3: possible worlds, the origin of evil, the nature of the soul,
3:44:44
Speaker 3: and the pre established harmony. At these words, the Dervish
3:44:49
Speaker 3: shut the door in their faces. During this conversation, the
3:44:53
Speaker 3: news was spread that two viziers and the Mufti had
3:44:57
Speaker 3: been strangled at Constantinople, and that several of their friends
3:45:01
Speaker 3: had been impaled. This catastrophe made a great noise for
3:45:05
Speaker 3: some hours. Pangloss, Candide, and Martin, returning to the little farm,
3:45:10
Speaker 3: saw a good old man taking the fresh air at
3:45:13
Speaker 3: his door under an orange bower. Pangloss, who was as
3:45:17
Speaker 3: inquisitive as he was argumentative, asked the old man what
3:45:21
Speaker 3: was the name of the strangled Mufti? I do not know,
3:45:26
Speaker 3: answered the worthy man, and I have not known the
3:45:29
Speaker 3: name of any mufti, nor of any vizir. I am
3:45:33
Speaker 3: entirely ignorant of the event you mention. I presume in
3:45:37
Speaker 3: general that they who meddle with the administration of public
3:45:41
Speaker 3: affairs die sometimes miserably, and that they deserve it. But
3:45:46
Speaker 3: I never trouble my head about what is transacting it Constantinople,
3:45:52
Speaker 3: I content myself with sending there for sale the fruits
3:45:56
Speaker 3: of the garden which I cultivate. Having said these words,
3:46:00
Speaker 3: he invited the strangers into his house. His two sons
3:46:03
Speaker 3: and two daughters presented them with several sorts of sherbet,
3:46:08
Speaker 3: which they made themselves with kaimak, enriched with the candied
3:46:12
Speaker 3: peel of citrons, with oranges, lemons, pineapples, pistachio nuts, and
3:46:18
Speaker 3: mocha coffee unadulterated with the bad coffee of Batavia or
3:46:22
Speaker 3: the American Islands, after which the two daughters of the
3:46:26
Speaker 3: honest Mussulman perfumed the stranger's beards. You must have a
3:46:31
Speaker 3: vast and magnificent estate, said Candide to the Turk. I
3:46:35
Speaker 3: have only twenty acres, replied the man, I and my
3:46:40
Speaker 3: children cultivate them. Our labor preserves us from three great evils, weariness, vice,
3:46:48
Speaker 3: and want. Candide, on his way home, made profound reflections
3:46:54
Speaker 3: on the old man's conversation. Dishonest Turk said he to
3:46:58
Speaker 3: panglossan Martin, seem to be in a situation far preferable
3:47:03
Speaker 3: to that of the six kings with whom we had
3:47:05
Speaker 3: the honor of supping. Grandeur, said Pangloss is extremely dangerous
3:47:11
Speaker 3: according to the testimony of philosophers. For in short, Eglon,
3:47:16
Speaker 3: king of Moab, was assassinated by Ahud Absalom was hung
3:47:21
Speaker 3: by his hair and pierced with three darts. King Nadab,
3:47:25
Speaker 3: the son of Jeroboam, was killed by Basa, King Elah,
3:47:29
Speaker 3: by Zimri Ahaziah, by jehu Athaliah, by Jehoada. The kings Jehoakim,
3:47:36
Speaker 3: Chechuniah and Zedekiah were led into captivity. You know how perished.
3:47:41
Speaker 3: Creeses Astjages, Darius, Denysius of Syricu, Spirus, Perseus, Hannibal, Jagirta, Ariovistus, Caesar,
3:47:51
Speaker 3: pompey nero Otho, Vitelius, Domitian, Richard the second of England,
3:47:57
Speaker 3: Edward the second, Henry the sixth, Richard, Mary Stuart, Charles
3:48:01
Speaker 3: the First, the three Henrys of France, the Emperor Henry
3:48:05
Speaker 3: the fourth. You know, I also know, said Candide, that
3:48:10
Speaker 3: we must cultivate our garden. You are right, said Pangloss,
3:48:15
Speaker 3: For when man was first placed in the garden of Eden,
3:48:18
Speaker 3: he was put there out upperature um that he might
3:48:23
Speaker 3: cultivate it, which shows that man was not born to
3:48:26
Speaker 3: be idle. Let us work, said Martin, without disputing it.
3:48:31
Speaker 3: It is the only way to render life tolerable. The
3:48:35
Speaker 3: whole little society entered into this laudable design according to
3:48:40
Speaker 3: their different abilities. Their little plot of land produced plentiful crops.
3:48:46
Speaker 3: Cunegonde was indeed very ugly, but she became an excellent
3:48:51
Speaker 3: pastry cook. Paquette worked at embroidery. The old woman looked
3:48:55
Speaker 3: after the linen.
3:48:57
Speaker 1: They were all not, excepting Friar Garuff, of some service
3:49:01
Speaker 1: or other, for he made a good joiner and became
3:49:04
Speaker 1: a very honest man. Pangloss sometimes said to Candide, there
3:49:10
Speaker 1: is a concatenation of events in this best of all
3:49:14
Speaker 1: possible worlds. For if you had not been kicked out
3:49:18
Speaker 1: of a magnificent castle for love of miss Cuonegonda. If
3:49:22
Speaker 1: you had not been put into the inquisition, if you
3:49:26
Speaker 1: had not walked over America, if you had not stabbed
3:49:29
Speaker 1: the baron, if you had not lost all your sheep
3:49:33
Speaker 1: from the fine country of El Dorado, you would not
3:49:36
Speaker 1: be here eating preserved citrons and pistachio nuts. All that
3:49:41
Speaker 1: is very well, answered Candide. But let us cultivate our garden.
3:49:48
Speaker 1: End Chapter thirty and end of the book Candide by
3:49:54
Speaker 1: Voltaire