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Surviving Christmas with a Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about Christmas with a narcissist.
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  If you new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Merry Christmas.
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  Merry Christmas. What's going on?
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  Beautiful folks. Beautiful, beautiful folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes, Christmas with a narcissist.
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  Y'all know it's going to be The timing of this episode is
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  important. It's going to be tough.
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  Y'all. I feel like if this is the thing
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  right here, not all narcissists are going to ruin Christmas,
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  right? But a lot of them will.
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  A lot of narcissists will absolutely ruin Christmas, and
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  so this is my my prediction for you.
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  If you in a relationship with a narcissist or a tax person,
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  whoever, and you've had five 6710 bad Christmases in a row,
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  chances are this Christmas is going to be bad too.
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  If you follow the same patterns, if you follow the same routine
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  that you follow for the previous eight 9-10 years that they've
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  ruined, you're probably going to have another bad Christmas.
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  Your kids are probably going to have another bad Christmas.
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  It's going to be a this is going to be a time of, you know,
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  giving thanks and love and receiving love and giving gifts,
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  Receiving gifts. If you haven't received the gift
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  from your narcissistic person in five, 6-7 years, you probably
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  won't be receiving one today. And I know that sucks.
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  It's yeah, it it's, it absolutely sucks that you
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  married or you were in a relationship with the Grinch.
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  It does it sometimes. It sucks, you know, and the the,
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  the the Grinch from the beginning of the movie, the one
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  that was trying to ruin Christmas, not the one at the
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  end that was like became pretty much became Santa.
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  You know, it sucks that you married or you're in a
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  relationship with the Grinch that they're going to ruin.
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  They are y'all. If they've ruined it before,
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  they're going to ruin it again. That's just how it is.
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  If I believe, why do they keep doing this?
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  Y'all. There's too much love in there.
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  There's too much. There's too many emotions in the
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  air for that narcissist or tax person whoever to feel
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  comfortable, to feel like they have.
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  They don't feel comfortable around the love.
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  They don't feel comfortable around the affection.
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  They don't feel comfortable. It makes them uncomfortable.
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  It it it makes them feel uneasy to be in this loving, caring
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  environment. It makes them feel horrible
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  about themselves. Like I just, I don't feel
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  comfortable here. I don't.
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  And they start to ruin it. It's like from the inside out.
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  If they're feeling bad internally, you will know it on
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  Christmas. You will know it the day before
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  Christmas. Like they might break up with
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  you, they might cause an argument, they might fuss and
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  fight with you and you know, they might ghost you on
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  Christmas. But this, right here, this
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  Christmas, right here, you taking your power back.
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  Y'all. If they've ruined so many
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  Christmases before, you're not going to let them do it again.
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  If you have to, yeah, If you have to have a tradition in your
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  family. If you can't leave the
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  relationship, you have to celebrate Christmas the day
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  before, or have a secret Christmas where you give and
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  exchange gifts before. And so you can do it happy in a
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  happy manner without that toxic, narcissistic person around.
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  Do it like that if you have to. Y'all, you know what I mean.
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  If you were a Co parent with a narcissist that ruins Christmas
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  and things like that. Exchange gifts before, do that
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  before. I know it really depends on the
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  age of y'all. Believe in Santa and things like
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  that. Strip them of that power you
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  know you have yo, you're taking your power back.
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  So you have to strip. When you take your power back,
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  you have to take it back from somewhere.
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  When I say take your power back, that means the power is gone.
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  That means the power is not with you right now, right?
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  So you have to take your power back from this person.
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  You know what I mean? If you have to get up super
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  early in the morning, 7:00 AM, to open a few gifts to
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  experience that happiness and Christmas joy, do it like that.
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  So at least your kids have a little bit of happiness on
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  Christmas, You know, do the day before, the day after Christmas.
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  If you had to celebrate the day before or the day after, do it
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  like that. Y'all, don't let the Grinch ruin
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  Christmas because the narcissistic person is probably
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  going to try. They're going to try.
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  They're going to try to be grumpy.
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  They're going to sit up. They're going to sit in the bed
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  all day. They're going to sit in the room
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  all day. They're going to be behind.
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  You know they're going to stay upstairs, downstairs.
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  They're going to, they're going to have to work.
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  They're going to go to the office and not come back.
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  They're going to conveniently the the gifts or Amazon lost the
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  gifts, right? I don't know what it gives with
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  Amazon lost the gifts. What?
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  Amazon really lost the gifts? You know the gifts are in the
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  mail. I sent your gifts.
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  I sent them earlier this year. My kids.
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  I sent them in October, so they should be there by now.
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  Dad, Mom, whatever. They haven't gotten here yet.
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  I hate the mail. Lost again.
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  Dang it. God, I hate the mail.
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  You see, they give your kids false hope too.
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  Yo, this year you're going to have a Merry Christmas.
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  This year, you're taking your power back.
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  This year, you're not going to let them ruin it.
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  You're just not going to let them do that.
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  Like this year, you're empowering yourself.
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  You're not. You're not taking, You're not
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  taking the power away. You're powering up because that
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  gives you the ability that give you strength, that gives you the
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  ability to move forward. That empowers you.
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  That's why I'm just telling you, you are stronger than what you
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  think you are. You absolutely are.
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  You are stronger than what you think you are.
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  Empower yourself. Keep moving for y'all because
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  like if you don't, I'm just telling you if you do not,
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  they're going to get you. You know if you do not take your
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  power back and be pre emptive, you can predict it now.
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  Y'all, if you have five or six bad Christmases, you should be
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  able to predict it by now. This should be this.
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  You should be able to predict that you're going to have
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  another bad Christmas this year because this narcissistic person
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  is part of your life. Do you know what I mean?
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  So if you've had so many bad Christmases you never got a gift
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  before, get yourself a gift. Gift yourself.
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  Give yourself the gift of being being away from them.
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  This year going no contact, that's your Christmas present.
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  Going no contact this year. I know we haven't talked like
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  block dealer. If they've reached out, you
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  don't have to be in a current relationship with the narcissist
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  for them to ruin your Christmas, right?
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  They can reach out to you like they you've been no contact and
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  they can text you out of nowhere.
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  They haven't talked to you in six months out of nowhere.
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  Hope you have. AI was thinking about you on
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  Christmas. They can ruin your Christmas
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  that way. They're going to make Christmas
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  about them even if they're not with you.
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  They can send you a random text message out of nowhere.
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  They can e-mail you out of nowhere.
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  Disconnect today. Disconnect today.
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  We're not. Let.
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  Don't let them come back into your life or say something mean
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  or do something crazy to you. No, no, no, no, no.
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  Because they don't like Christmas.
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  Because they don't like themselves around Christmas.
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  Because Christmas makes them feel icky inside.
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  Christmas make me feel. I don't know how to describe it,
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  but Christmas makes me feel icky, insane, and so I don't
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  like it. Yo, you're taking your power
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  back this year. Don't let.
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  Like I'm telling you, healing works from the inside out, but
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  so do bad emotions. Bad emotions come from the
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  inside out as well. So if the bad emotions are
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  coming from the inside out the healing as well as well.
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  So don't let them if yeah you can feel it.
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  They yeah. And they they don't just start
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  ruining Christmas the day before Christmas.
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  A lot of them will start doing it in November.
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  A lot of them will start doing it in early December.
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  Like there there's a there's typically a build up.
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  They don't typically they don't. They don't drop just drop the
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  bomb on you on Christmas morning.
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  They might be to do that the first year or two.
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  This kind of surprise you because you don't really know
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  them, but now you know them. Now you know they're going to
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  drop the bomb like that. Now you know the bomb is coming.
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  You can hear it. Y'all you can hear it.
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  You can see the fuse has been lit.
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  Take the necessary steps. If you can't leave or you're
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  trying to make it work, take the necessary steps to ensure that
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  you if you have kids that they can at least at least have a
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  good Christmas. Christmas morning.
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  Hey kids, when I get up at 6:30, we're going to open a couple of
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  gifts I got. And then we're going to enjoy
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  these gifts in silence, even though there's if y'all they
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  might have to get up early to do it.
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  You shouldn't have to do that. They won't get up early or
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  staying up extra late to open up a couple of gifts.
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  That means sometimes, if you do what you have to do to make it,
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  make sure your kids are at least have a little bit of happiness
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  because you know the other parents going to ruin it.
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  But like, imagine having to do that.
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  Y'all. You shouldn't have to do that.
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  You shouldn't have to hide happiness.
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  You shouldn't have to hide joy. You shouldn't have to hide the
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  fact that you're smiling on Christmas.
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  You you see what I'm saying? I'm not telling you again.
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  I'm not telling y'all to leave your relationship.
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  I'm just saying think things through because that narcissist
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  or toxic person is going to make them make Christmas about them.
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  They're going to make this about them.
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  They have to. I know people just like, well,
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  why did they ruin it? Is it is it because attention is
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  not on them? Yeah, that that's super
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  simplistic. That's not the only reason that
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  narcissists ruin Christmas. Some of them have holiday trauma
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  of their own that they just pass down to other people.
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  Like if I have holiday trauma, if I have Christmas trauma, if I
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  never got gifts. So that's going to, I'm going to
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  pass that down to my family. You see what I'm saying?
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  Like, I'm going to pass that down to my family.
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  It's just in that space. They're going to pass it down.
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  Like it's like a generational gift of ruining of toxicity on
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  Christmas. They're going to pass it down.
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  You know, They just don't. It's just too many emotional
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  overload. I do believe that a lot of
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  narcissists have limited emotional capacity, which means
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  that they have emotions, You know, they have the capacity for
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  emotions, but not a lot from the outside world, not a lot from
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  the outside coming in, you know, So if it's Christmas time, the
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  holiday season, it is a time of is a time of being overloaded,
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  right? Christmas time is a time of
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  being overloaded. It's a time of overloading the
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  senses, right? New Year's is right behind it.
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  The emotional overload is going to overload and they're going
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  to, you know, this is like a like a robot with too much
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  information. They're going to blow up.
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  You know, they're going to boom. The system is going to be over
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  over overloaded. It's going to just start
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  malfunctioning like a like a narcissistic robot.
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  Narcissistic robot, too full of information, going to detonate,
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  boom. And they blow up, you know, but
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  just within that space right there.
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  So you have to protect yourself. Y'all.
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  You have to protect yourself. You have to protect your peace.
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  You really, really do around this time, take your power back.
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  Like I said, if you have to celebrate before or after or
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  whatever, you have to do late night, early mornings, whatever.
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  You have to do a couple of days. Yeah, a couple of days before.
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  Everything has to be Christmas. The Christmas, Christmas Eve's
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  Eve. Make sure your kids are happy
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  and make sure that you are happy.
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  Go get you. If you haven't received a gift
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  from this person in years, go get your own gift.
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  Go get your own gift. But of course I'm not telling
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  you. You got to weigh your options
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  about leaving this toxicity, because if they're not getting
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  you a gift for years, old Christmas is just
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  commercialized. I give you, you get the gift of
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  me. I got something for you.
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  I got a gift. Your gift is in the bedroom
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  later on. No, I just want you to have a
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  Merry Christmas. Y'all.
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  I really, really do Hope this episode woke you up.
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  Hope you had it. Hope it helps you change your
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  Christmas. Hope it helps you empower you,
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  you know. But anyway, y'all be safe like
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  and subscribe. Merry Christmas From me to you.
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  I'm out. Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness rock star and I appreciate you for
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  being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
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  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
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  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
• 11:47
  kids. But remember, it's not your
• 11:49
  fault on Amazon, so check that out.
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  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.