Latest / Only Bombs! Comedy Podcast / ONLY BOMBS! 39: Brandt Tobler | "I Outdreamed My Dreams"

Transcript

ONLY BOMBS! 39: Brandt Tobler | "I Outdreamed My Dreams" · Only Bombs! Comedy Podcast

• 0:00
  I grew up in Wyoming. You couldn't even dream
• 0:02
  of being in a comic. You know, there was no comic.
• 0:04
  There was nothing. There was just, uh... You
• 0:07
  know, I wanted to be a JV basketball coach and
• 0:09
  a PE teacher was my dream. Sometimes I would
• 0:11
  just, like, if I was at some fancy person's house
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  or something, I'd go in the bathroom and pee
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  and then just, like, look in the mirror and be
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  like, can you believe we're fucking... Can you
• 0:19
  believe we're here? And I had to smile then go
• 0:22
  out and be cool, but I never took it for granted.
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  I was doing, so Brad Garrett, you know the guy
• 0:27
  from Everybody Loves Raymond, like the tall guy,
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  and then he's like, you know what, just do this,
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  just write 30 pages of your best stories and
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  then bring them back to me. And he's like, I'm
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  not saying I could do anything, I'm not, he's
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  like, I'll try to help you, but it's Hollywood,
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  I don't know, but what you have is something
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  special and I'll help you if I can. So then I
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  had those 30 pages to start with of stories and
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  then I just started writing a book. just looking
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  at this book like I fucking I did it then I was
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  like what if nobody buys it and like who cares
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  they can never take this away from me you know
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  I did it welcome to holy bombs man thank you
• 1:03
  thank you for having me oh yeah great setup you
• 1:05
  have here this is dope thanks dude thanks yeah
• 1:07
  it's a culmination of many months of just getting
• 1:10
  random shit and seeing what works yeah I like
• 1:12
  it that's I was like going to different people's
• 1:14
  podcast studios everybody has Everybody has their
• 1:16
  own little crazy shit that probably fans have
• 1:18
  sent in or the weird stuff you've gotten over
• 1:20
  time. So, cool. Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what
• 1:24
  I did. I started collecting things that people
• 1:25
  just brought me and then, you know, I was like,
• 1:28
  man, this is really cool. And, you know, I don't
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  know. I like it, man. I just like showing off
• 1:33
  everything. Did you have a video podcast? No,
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  I had a podcast studio in my house. And then
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  that's what I was just going to say is if you
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  came to my house now in my podcast studio, which
• 1:42
  isn't really a podcast studio anymore because
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  I haven't done a pod in a while. So now there's
• 1:46
  just a bunch of random stuff in there. So if
• 1:47
  you came in, you'd be like, what is all this
• 1:49
  weird stuff? It makes sense when it's in a podcast
• 1:52
  studio. But if you go into my podcast studio
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  now, because all the mics and stuff are put away,
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  it just looks like a crazy hoarder with a bunch
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  of random stuff. But it's all cool stuff that
• 2:01
  people had sent me over. Podcast fans are the
• 2:04
  best, man. Once they love the pod, they will...
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  I've gotten the coolest gifts and the most meaningful
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  gifts from podcast fans because they listen and
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  then they know. They're like sincere gifts instead
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  of just. But they'd also like at one point I
• 2:17
  love Chipotle, they just hit me with a Chipotle
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  gift card, which is always good too. Never going
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  to complain about that. No, hell no, man. Do
• 2:24
  you have anything that you keep in there that
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  you're just like, oh, this is really meaningful?
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  Just like baseball cards. There's a story, Jeff
• 2:34
  Dye and I. It's a long story. Jeff, I did it
• 2:37
  on this not happening, but we stole this football
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  player's jersey. This kicker for the Colts, Mike
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  Vanderjack, we stole his jersey from his bar.
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  And then, uh, and then one of, one of the fans,
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  and then we had to give it back. It was a whole
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  big thing. And then, um, one of the fans found
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  like a Vanderjack card with the, with his like
• 2:56
  game or Jersey, uh, in it, like a baseball card.
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  So he sent that to me, which made me laugh. Oh,
• 3:01
  that's good. Um, yeah. Like cool art, I've had
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  people like draw, you know, make me look way
• 3:06
  cooler than I am. That's like a good artist can
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  just do cool stuff. So in the, in the studio
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  I have, yeah, like, uh, just, just a lot of cool
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  art that people sent me. Man, that's epic. Yeah.
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  And clothes. I'm from Wyoming. So people send
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  me cool Wyoming stuff. Yeah. Cause no one really
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  cares about Wyoming. Like, if you found something
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  Wyoming out here, you would, most people just
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  like, oh, that goes to brand or who cares? So
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  people find Wyoming stuff and they always send
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  it to me cause I'm pretty much the only Wyoming
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  comic, you know? I think. Yeah. I mean, there's
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  a couple of few trying to come up right now,
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  but. I don't know, man. Yeah, I can't, I can't
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  pin it. Yeah. I think you might be the only one.
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  Yeah. That's why I'm sure every comic you've
• 3:44
  had on here, people are like, did you always
• 3:45
  want to be a comic? I was like, I didn't. I grew
• 3:48
  up in Wyoming. You couldn't even dream of being
• 3:49
  a comic. You know, there was no comic. There
• 3:51
  was nothing. There was just, uh, you know, I
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  wanted to be a JV basketball coach and a PE teacher
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  was my dream. And then, um, then later in life,
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  of course I found comedy, but yeah. I'm not like
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  most comics. It was, I didn't even, it was, I
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  thought I'd be an astronaut before I could be
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  a comedian. Oh, right, right. Yeah, I mean, how
• 4:11
  old were you when you actually did get started?
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  So I started, I think, you know, it's wild as
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  I have a video of it and I don't even want to
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  watch it because I know how terrible I am. I
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  get it. Well, you know, I take that back. I actually
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  did good my first time for where I was at. I
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  would cringe a little now just from doing it
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  this long, but. Because I was supposed to start
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  in Phoenix, but then I kept chickening out because
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  a couple of times I talked into a microphone
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  and when I heard my voice amplified, it made
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  my eyes water. So I was like, I can't be a crying
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  comedian. So I chickened out for like two years,
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  but I was still writing. And then I got to Vegas
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  and I signed up a couple of times and then I
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  would cancel the day of. And then my friends
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  eventually are like, yo, you keep talking about
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  doing this. Are you going to do it or what? So
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  then I had a couple of beers and like 10 of my
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  friends came and then I actually did really good.
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  I actually did really good the first three or
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  four times because I didn't know you're allowed
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  to repeat material either. So I had a brand new
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  like five minutes set the first four times. Okay.
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  And then after that I bombed like the next 96
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  times probably because I got, and I got a little
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  cocky. And so I, it's weird to say I did good,
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  but just knowing what I know about comedy now.
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  Well, first of all, I wore shorts. I think I
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  had shorts and flip -flops on, which are, like,
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  the two biggest rules. So I'm not even that mad
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  about my material, but just, like, my stage presence
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  and stuff like that. As, like, a pro comic now,
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  I'd be like, oh, man, you did everything you're
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  not supposed to do. But I didn't know. You didn't
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  know, yeah. Vegas was a hard scene to come up
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  in because just, like, just a terrible scene
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  for comedy, really, still to this day. Like the
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  local scene's just terrible because there's too
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  much good shit you could be doing that's way
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  better than stand -up, you know? I was like,
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  I'll never be as good as like a Circus Away show
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  or there's concerts or there's gambling, you
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  know? So the Vegas scene is never really taken
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  off because it's just, there's some good clubs
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  there now and like LA Comedy Club is my home
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  club and they were very supportive. But the shows
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  we would do, it was just terrible. It would be
• 6:13
  a bar and then, for instance, I think I've performed
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  at four bars that have been on Bar Rescue. That's
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  how shitty these bars were. But they eventually,
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  and in Vegas, a new bar would open and then they
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  would start with, they would go live music and
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  then they would go trivia, then they'd go bingo.
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  then they'd work their way down to comedy, and
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  then they'd go to rap music, and then someone
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  would get killed or stabbed, and then the bar
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  would close, and it would start all over. But
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  that's just what the Vegas scene was. Luckily,
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  my friends I started with are still, I still
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  have some really good friends that I started
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  with, but the scene is terrible, which you would
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  think it'd be like a good scene. When I got to
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  Vegas, I was like, oh, this would be a great
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  scene. If I would have stayed in Phoenix, I probably
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  would have been much, much better off. Because
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  again, too, when I started the local clubs, they
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  didn't care about local comics because comics
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  back then just wanted to come to Vegas. So if
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  you headlined, let's say Seattle or Sacramento,
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  you would take a step down so you could be in
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  Vegas. Because this is like 2005 maybe when Vegas
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  was still cool. Like it was the coolest back
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  then. Yeah. I know you were traveling a lot back
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  then. Yeah. Also from reading your book, Free
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  Roll, by the way, you all go read it. It's fucking
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  amazing. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that.
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  From reading your book, it said that you were
• 7:37
  a class clown in ninth grade. You got that and
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  I was pretty awesome. Yeah. What was the hardest
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  thing about going from just being funny to being
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  funny on stand -up? Well, I always knew I was
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  funny. Um, you know, cause I was class clown,
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  junior high, class clown in high school. And,
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  um, I always got to hang out with the older kids
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  because I was funny and all the kids in my neighborhood.
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  And, um, like the, those are the kids I wanted
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  to be around. And then I was able to hang out
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  with older kids cause I was funny, but again,
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  it was never a dream. And I was going to college
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  in Phoenix and then, uh, one of my childhood
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  friends, Matt Farwell, one time I wasn't doing
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  good at college. I was like, I don't know what
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  I'm going to do. He's like, you should be a comedian.
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  I was like, I don't even know how to do that.
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  I don't know. You're funny. You could do it.
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  And I was like, all right. And I went to Barnes
• 8:24
  and Noble. I bought a book and like a little
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  tape recorder because that's what the book said
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  to do. And then, uh, I read this book, but it
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  still didn't. I didn't know, but I didn't know
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  how to find an open mic. The book told you how
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  to write and stuff, but I didn't know how to
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  find open mics. And then, um, and then, uh, I
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  just ended up my dad. got out of prison and we'll
• 8:43
  probably talk about that. But then my dad got
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  out of prison and then I wanted to connect with
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  my dad. So I just left Phoenix pretty abruptly
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  and then moved to Vegas. And then luckily in
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  Vegas, there was one open mic at this terrible,
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  terrible bar called Boomers Humors. And then
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  I found that and, uh, you know, that that'll
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  probably always be my favorite. I've been fortunate
• 9:01
  to perform all over the world and theaters and
• 9:04
  stuff with that. Will always be my favorite place
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  because that's where I started. That's my first
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  like eight years. There's only, there's only
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  one show in Vegas every week. And it was in this
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  terrible like industrial place and you'd go over
• 9:15
  this little hill. And then you could see the
• 9:17
  parking lot when he came over the hill. And then
• 9:19
  those nights when there was like cars that I
• 9:20
  didn't know that weren't my friend's cars. When
• 9:22
  we knew there was like a newbie there with that
• 9:24
  brought people the way I get chills thinking
• 9:26
  about it right now. Cause that was like, cause
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  it was only Sunday nights at like nine 30. It
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  wasn't built to do good at comedy, but some of
• 9:33
  those nights you'd come over this hill and some
• 9:36
  nights you'd see like 30 cars and you're like,
• 9:39
  oh, we got a show tonight. So those are the feelings
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  that that's what got me hooked. And then, you
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  know, people always ask me, I've never done a
• 9:46
  drug or anything, but because I think I come
• 9:48
  from like drug addicts and come from just trash.
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  So I would be addicted, but I did get addicted
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  to this after that first time I did it. I was
• 9:55
  like, this is what I'm doing forever. Yeah, what
• 9:58
  was it? Was it, like, just the feedback of laughter?
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  Yeah, just the rush of just, like, I don't know,
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  just, like, I just felt... Well, there's probably,
• 10:06
  like, something getting off my back because I
• 10:08
  knew I wanted to do it and keep chickening out.
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  Like I said, I chickened out for, like, two years.
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  Yeah. Which is terrible. You know, when I tell
• 10:15
  comics, when people are like, I want to do it,
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  I was like, do it tomorrow. Just start. Because
• 10:19
  it's all reps anyway. If you're thinking about
• 10:21
  a comedian, the best advice I can give you is
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  just go. You gotta go. Like, I wasted two years.
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  That's a lot of valuable time, you know? Yeah.
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  So, um, I think it was just the relief of, like,
• 10:32
  because I knew I was funny, but, you know, it's
• 10:34
  a different beast to go on stage, or at least
• 10:36
  I thought it was then, so. And then just my friends
• 10:39
  being proud of me and, like, you know, that feeling
• 10:42
  of, like, I did it. I had a goal. I did it. And
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  then it went good. And then all my friends are
• 10:46
  like, man, you were funny. Because, you know,
• 10:48
  everyone's like, if I take, like, a girl to a
• 10:51
  show now, they'll always be like, you know, I
• 10:54
  was worried you were not going to be funny. I'm
• 10:55
  like, I'm trying to fuck you. I wouldn't show
• 10:57
  you anything I'm bad at. So I didn't take you
• 11:00
  dancing or golfing. It always makes me laugh.
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  They're like, I was just worried you wouldn't
• 11:05
  be funny. I'm like, I'm trying to impress you.
• 11:09
  I know I'm going to do good. That's why. Sometimes
• 11:12
  I get shit from the other comics. They're like,
• 11:15
  oh, you're just going to do the hits tonight
• 11:16
  because you brought a girl. I was like, well,
• 11:18
  yeah. Don't I'm not I don't need she can see
• 11:20
  the new stuff when we're dating but tonight I'm
• 11:22
  gonna try to do my best because this you saw
• 11:24
  her she's fine. They're like, you know, I get
• 11:26
  it Yeah, I gotta go. You gotta go dude. Yeah
• 11:29
  Did uh, what did you even get into it like with
• 11:32
  any kind of joke structure at all? Or did you
• 11:33
  just tell ya know, I wrote jokes. Um, I loved
• 11:37
  Hedberg Mitch Hedberg was the first one my first
• 11:39
  favorite comic and so I saw him the first show
• 11:43
  I ever saw was actually Jeff Fox were the Uh,
• 11:46
  he Jeff, I'm not just fast. Sorry. Uh, Bill Ingvall
• 11:49
  opened for faith Hill and Tim McGraw in Greeley,
• 11:51
  Colorado at this outdoor country music festival.
• 11:54
  So I saw that and that's what he was doing. Here's
• 11:56
  your sign. And I was like, this is pretty funny.
• 12:00
  I didn't know anything. I thought building ball
• 12:01
  was good, but then like a month later, I saw
• 12:04
  Hedberg on Letterman. And I was like, I tell
• 12:07
  the joke, I was like, that's that was like my
• 12:09
  sign. Here's the here's your actual sign. You
• 12:11
  should be a comedian. So, yeah, then I saw him.
• 12:14
  And then so by joke structure, I wrote joke joke
• 12:17
  jokes, just one liner short jokes because I loved
• 12:19
  Hedberg. And then somehow I got connected to
• 12:24
  Kyle Canane. Well, Kyle Canane was coming up
• 12:26
  and he was just like booking, you know, DIY shows.
• 12:30
  And then we reached out to him and then he came.
• 12:33
  and I watched Kanane perform for like 30 people
• 12:35
  in this back room and he was like telling stories
• 12:37
  and I was like, holy shit, this is, you know,
• 12:41
  so seeing Kanane made me believe I could write
• 12:45
  stories and then I had all these incredible stories.
• 12:47
  I was like. And then that's where I kind of separated
• 12:50
  because everybody at the time was writing jokes
• 12:51
  like Hedberg and Attell and then I have a crazy,
• 12:54
  like I said, I'm from Wyoming. First of all,
• 12:56
  no one in the world is doing that already. So
• 12:59
  watching Kanane made me kind of change the way
• 13:02
  I wrote and start to really tap into longer form
• 13:05
  stories, which definitely helped because, you
• 13:09
  know, people could connect my stories with me
• 13:12
  and eventually, you know. Became the guy that
• 13:14
  tried to kill his dad. So people would just Google.
• 13:17
  Hey, who's the comedian that tried to kill his
• 13:18
  dad again? There's not many of us out there So
• 13:21
  yeah, if I change you put in who's the Wyoming
• 13:22
  comedian try to kill his dad. That's much easier
• 13:25
  than it's just you Who's the comedian with the
• 13:27
  funny dating app joke? So yeah watching Canadian
• 13:30
  and I don't remember what he did I just remember
• 13:32
  leaving that day inspired and I was like and
• 13:35
  I booked him and then I didn't have a lot of
• 13:37
  money and I was I was waiting to pay him and
• 13:40
  I was worried he's going to be mad at me because
• 13:41
  I couldn't pay him. He eventually sent me a message
• 13:43
  like a week later, like, where's my money? But
• 13:45
  I was waiting for it to come from this brown
• 13:46
  paper tickets and I was like, shit, Gainane just
• 13:49
  like is the coolest. And now he's going to hate
• 13:52
  me because I didn't pay him his money in time.
• 13:54
  But luckily I got his money to him. Oh, yeah.
• 13:57
  It was like a worry because you know how it is.
• 13:59
  You're starting out. I was just like, that's
• 14:01
  when I first started producing shows. So I didn't
• 14:02
  know like. I just, I always thought that we'd
• 14:05
  sell more and just, you know, you just learn
• 14:07
  a lot. But yeah, so that's when it changed. I
• 14:09
  start writing stories. Then I realized stories
• 14:12
  are like short jokes. They're just reps. You
• 14:14
  just got to work on them. And then, and I just
• 14:16
  got more enjoyment out of telling my stories.
• 14:18
  Cause you know, everyone's like, what if someone
• 14:20
  steals your jokes? Which really rarely happens.
• 14:22
  People write similar jokes, but then I was like,
• 14:25
  I got these stories. Nobody has stories like
• 14:27
  this. I don't have to worry about joke thieves,
• 14:30
  which. I still don't think you really have to
• 14:31
  worry about. But when you're a young comic, you're
• 14:33
  always like, I can't put my joke on the internet.
• 14:35
  Someone's going to steal it and do it on The
• 14:37
  Tonight Show. I was like, first of all, your
• 14:39
  joke's terrible. That joke's never getting on
• 14:41
  The Tonight Show. But I was the same way. We
• 14:44
  were all just like, you protect your material.
• 14:46
  You think your material's so good that you want
• 14:49
  to protect it because you think it's going to
• 14:51
  change your life. And then over time, you realize,
• 14:53
  oh, that joke's fucking terrible. That joke is
• 14:56
  not. for network television. I think I'm in the
• 14:59
  terrible joke phase, but I'm still working it
• 15:00
  out. Were you ever, in the beginning, were you
• 15:04
  always open and vulnerable? Yeah, I tried to
• 15:08
  be. I think I've always just been, I've tried
• 15:14
  to be that my whole life. It's just easier. I
• 15:18
  feel like you make better connection, especially
• 15:20
  in the podcast world. I learned in comedy, the
• 15:23
  more vulnerable I was, then the better. the better
• 15:27
  everything went because then I could connect
• 15:29
  with people. Like again, they could connect with
• 15:31
  my stories. My stories connected better than
• 15:33
  just like a random joke. So all the podcast fans
• 15:37
  I ever got was from, like the Crab Feast, Ryan
• 15:41
  Sickler and Jay Larson used to have this podcast
• 15:43
  and they had just had amazing fans. And then
• 15:44
  I got on there and told my stories. And then
• 15:47
  I realized that from the more podcasts I did,
• 15:50
  the more real you are, the more people are like,
• 15:53
  this is my guy now. You know, they don't want,
• 15:57
  you know, there's some comics. I don't want to
• 15:59
  shit on comics, but there's some com there's
• 16:01
  comics. There's famous comics. I really like,
• 16:02
  but they never, you don't really know anything
• 16:04
  about them. They're just comedy, you know, queef
• 16:07
  gay. It was like, well, yeah, what about your
• 16:09
  life? I'd be much more. And I like to learn about
• 16:13
  stuff or learn about people. So I learned early
• 16:16
  that the more vulnerable I was, the more successful
• 16:19
  I was and the more I enjoyed doing it. You know,
• 16:21
  I like to just talk. I want to talk to you about.
• 16:24
  I just don't, you know, I lived in LA for 10
• 16:26
  years and I saw people that were performing when
• 16:29
  I thought we were having friendship conversations.
• 16:31
  I was like, oh, this is gross. You know? Yeah.
• 16:34
  So yeah. So luckily I've been, um, I've always
• 16:38
  been pretty confident in who I am and just, I'm
• 16:40
  just like, well, I'll just be myself because
• 16:42
  it's hard. I mean, I would tell a story. It's
• 16:45
  a terrible story. I shouldn't tell it on here,
• 16:46
  but like when I lived in Vegas and then one time
• 16:49
  I got a hooker and then I fell in love with this
• 16:51
  girl. And then. She asked on like the second
• 16:54
  day, have you ever had a hooker? And I was like,
• 16:55
  no. But then I had to ride that lie my whole
• 16:58
  life, you know, and then my friends had to lie.
• 17:00
  I have friends that, you know, are pieces of
• 17:02
  shit. And then they, and then I'm expected to
• 17:05
  lie for them the rest of their life. So I was
• 17:06
  like, I don't occasionally, I'm a degenerate,
• 17:09
  you know, I had this crazy Vegas life. I did,
• 17:12
  I wouldn't know if they're mistakes, but I did
• 17:13
  some people that I did some stuff that's pretty
• 17:15
  wild. And then I don't, I just would rather just
• 17:18
  be real instead of having to. kick my buddy under
• 17:21
  the table like, hey, don't tell that story. Hey,
• 17:23
  shut up, don't do this. That's definitely a lesson
• 17:27
  that I've been learning in my own stand -up is
• 17:29
  because I started very surface level. Now I'm
• 17:34
  starting to dig in deeper, but it's also difficult.
• 17:38
  Yeah, it's harder because you're being real and
• 17:41
  it's vulnerable. And you, I mean, it took me
• 17:44
  a while. Like I said, it didn't, I mean, I'm
• 17:45
  talking, I was probably writing joke jokes for
• 17:48
  six, seven years before that Canadian thing.
• 17:50
  And then even that still, you know, it took me
• 17:53
  maybe another two and a half years to get a real
• 17:57
  story. Cause the stories were hard. You know,
• 17:59
  you, you got a six minute story at about 90 seconds
• 18:02
  in the beginning, you're not doing good and you
• 18:04
  want to bail on that story. Cause you're like,
• 18:07
  what do I'm drowning here? But you just kind
• 18:08
  of have to drown sometimes. And then you'll eventually
• 18:12
  kick your way to the top or because it just reps
• 18:15
  like jokes, but it's such more, it's more rewarding.
• 18:18
  You know, I think to me, I love the stories I
• 18:21
  tell are like, it's just better than a joke joke
• 18:24
  to me. Yeah. Yeah. And I think to the audience
• 18:27
  too. Yeah, I think it's... But I was saying that
• 18:31
  David Tell's my favorite comedian, so... Oh,
• 18:33
  David Tell's amazing. Yeah, I mean, I would go.
• 18:36
  It's hard for me to watch comedy as a comedian,
• 18:38
  but if he comes, I'll sit and watch him every
• 18:41
  time. So, you know, there's always exception.
• 18:43
  It's everyone's on their own path. As generic
• 18:46
  as advice that is, it's everybody's on their
• 18:48
  own path. And for me, my path started out like
• 18:51
  a tell, and then now is more in long form stories.
• 18:54
  I try to. Yeah. And it takes up more time, which
• 18:57
  is great. One -liners, you got to write a lot
• 19:00
  of, you know, when I headline, you know, that's
• 19:03
  an hour. Yeah, a lot of one -liners. My stories
• 19:07
  are usually six, seven minutes, so that makes
• 19:09
  it a little easier. Dude, I know what you mean,
• 19:11
  man. Like, because when I'm noticing the difference,
• 19:14
  because I kind of started off writing the sort
• 19:16
  of, like, almost like street jokes. And then,
• 19:19
  you know, then I started doing, yeah, sorry about
• 19:21
  the dogs. Anyway. Oh yeah, I don't care. But
• 19:23
  then I started doing, like, you know, just...
• 19:24
  Kind of like story jokes. And now I'm like, okay,
• 19:27
  let me try to open up a little bit more. Who's
• 19:30
  your favorite when he started? So I've always
• 19:32
  been in like physical comedy. So like Dane Cook,
• 19:36
  you know, things like that. Like, yeah, and I
• 19:40
  loved him, but he's also a good writer. You know,
• 19:42
  he has good jokes, you know, and that was that
• 19:44
  was something that I needed to like to kind of
• 19:47
  kind of learn. And then I eventually went into
• 19:49
  like, like Jessel neck and David Tell and just
• 19:53
  You know, Norm MacDonald is huge. And I think
• 19:56
  Norm MacDonald for me was so big because I was
• 19:58
  like, he's so absurd yet intelligent. And the
• 20:04
  joke writing is so sharp. But it's like, it's
• 20:07
  like sharp for dull people. And so that works
• 20:10
  for me because it just hits me in there. Like
• 20:11
  the moth joke, for example, like just hits me
• 20:13
  just so good. I was hoping to work with him and
• 20:16
  I just always want to work with him. I've been
• 20:19
  fortunate to open or work with, you know, pretty
• 20:21
  much all my favorites and then My home club is
• 20:25
  comedy works in Denver and we I mean I think
• 20:27
  it's one the best club in the world and we book
• 20:29
  some of the best comics but occasionally she'll
• 20:31
  book somebody that like, you know, I'll just
• 20:34
  say it like something like Sometimes she'll book
• 20:36
  like someone like Mencia and there's a lot of
• 20:38
  comics and scenes like I'm not working with Mencia
• 20:40
  And then I call Wendy I go hey, whatever you
• 20:42
  need I'll host I'll feature I'll whatever And
• 20:44
  I'll take whatever shit gigs there are. So then
• 20:47
  once a year, when a tell comes or a norm or someone,
• 20:50
  I can say, Hey, Wendy, can I get that one? And
• 20:52
  she's, Wendy's always really good to me. So I
• 20:55
  learned that from the very beginning. Like I'll
• 20:56
  take these shit gigs. And then norm came twice
• 20:59
  when I was living in Denver, but he was bringing
• 21:01
  his own people. But, but I did get open for a
• 21:03
  tell one time and he brought me out on stage
• 21:06
  at the end. And I brought out my book and then
• 21:09
  he signed my book on stage and then he bought
• 21:13
  it from me for $20, made me take his $20, then
• 21:16
  gave it to someone in the crowd and then just
• 21:18
  roasted me for like 10 minutes, which was awesome.
• 21:20
  And it's awesome. And then I went out in the
• 21:22
  lobby and I sold all my books just cause Attelle
• 21:24
  was so nice. Like he didn't have to do that,
• 21:26
  but yeah, he brought me out. I tried to give
• 21:28
  him the $20 back in the green room. He's like,
• 21:29
  no, no, no. He's just so nice about the book.
• 21:32
  And then like I said, it helped me sell. Then
• 21:34
  because he like co -signed it on stage and then
• 21:37
  made fun of me and just getting roasted by Attelle
• 21:39
  was like an honor. Yeah. And then to go make
• 21:42
  a whole bunch of money. I never thought having
• 21:44
  like my favorite comic make fun of me would also
• 21:47
  make me a bunch of money. And I was like, those
• 21:49
  are like the best. I'm just lucky to be able
• 21:52
  to perform at ComedyWorks because it's just such
• 21:53
  a, she just, she just does everything right.
• 21:56
  Man, that is just an insane story. Yeah, so cool.
• 21:59
  Just all around, man. But that's what I'm saying.
• 22:01
  That's what I learned early too. Like I would
• 22:03
  sacrifice. I let, you know, everyone wants to
• 22:06
  ask for favors, but you know, Wendy knows if
• 22:09
  she needs anything. I've lived by the club last
• 22:11
  second. I'm there. She needs anything. I'm there.
• 22:14
  And then, and then if you pick your spots and
• 22:17
  when you do get a chance to ask for something,
• 22:19
  I think it's pretty easy for her to be like,
• 22:20
  yeah, of course. I can always count on you if
• 22:23
  I can, you know, or that's how you hope it is.
• 22:25
  And lucky enough for me, it's like that. So.
• 22:28
  Yeah, but I got a I had a cool one with Gillis
• 22:31
  the first time Gillis came to ComedyWorks He
• 22:33
  had never done ComedyWorks and it was his birthday
• 22:36
  and everybody kind of gave me shit for this But
• 22:38
  I I got a host and I think McCusker was the middle
• 22:42
  pretty sure was McCusker and then I know it was
• 22:45
  McKeeves and then I introduced him I was like
• 22:49
  this is To your headliner, this is, it's his
• 22:51
  birthday. And I said, this is his first time
• 22:54
  here and this will be his last time here. He's,
• 22:56
  he's not going to be here again. And you know,
• 22:58
  Shane Gillis and they went crazy and everyone's
• 23:00
  like, why'd you say that? I go, cause I know
• 23:02
  he's about to be a fucking giant star. I didn't
• 23:05
  know he'd sell out football stadiums, but, and
• 23:07
  Shane's so humble. They were like, I don't know
• 23:09
  if he liked that intro. I was like, ah, my bad,
• 23:11
  but. It was a true intro. I was like, I could
• 23:14
  tell when the rocket ship's about to take off.
• 23:15
  I've been doing it long enough. And I was like,
• 23:17
  give this man, you better cheer for him now because
• 23:20
  next time you see him, it's going to be in a
• 23:22
  big ass theater with tickets three times as much
• 23:24
  as this. Yeah, it was a I've seen him a few times
• 23:27
  here and I almost ID him once. Oh, yeah. Yeah
• 23:31
  Like, you know cuz I saw him walking up and I
• 23:33
  just didn't recognize them. Hey, what's your
• 23:35
  oh never mind? Yeah, I recognize you dude. Yeah,
• 23:38
  I've been around him a couple times I wouldn't
• 23:40
  say we're like friends, but he's always been
• 23:42
  cool. But I know I I when people ask me like
• 23:45
  Who do you hate or something? They'll always
• 23:47
  ask about certain people and I'm like dude the
• 23:49
  he I can I don't know anybody can say a bad thing
• 23:52
  about Shane and I don't I can't he's been super
• 23:54
  I mean He's been good to everybody. I love how
• 23:57
  he just took care of all his guys. I think he's
• 23:59
  doing it right. The bigger the comic, the cooler.
• 24:05
  I've hung around the biggest comics in the world
• 24:07
  and they're always the coolest. First time I
• 24:10
  met Chappelle, He would just talk to me like
• 24:13
  a comedian. He's like, where were you last week?
• 24:15
  I was in Jacksonville. He's like, are they still
• 24:16
  doing it at that hotel? Is Amy still the manager?
• 24:19
  I'm just sitting there trying not to drool on
• 24:22
  his brand new Jordan. This is fucking crazy.
• 24:25
  That's what I love about being around comics
• 24:27
  and all these comics have always said this. You've
• 24:29
  already heard this, but yeah, the bigger the
• 24:33
  comic, once I get around them, they're just like.
• 24:36
  Whatever level I'm at then they've already been
• 24:38
  there and they just want to talk about that or
• 24:39
  it's like I just think it's so cool You know,
• 24:42
  they say you never want to meet your heroes,
• 24:43
  but I think comedy is like the only The only
• 24:46
  place where it's not like that. Yeah. Yeah everyone
• 24:48
  I could say sucks You won't even know cuz they're
• 24:50
  just bitter old dudes. It didn't that are mad
• 24:53
  at TikTok and shit right now. Yeah, it seems
• 24:55
  like what they look at is the people who are
• 24:58
  just in it for the clout. Yeah. You know what
• 25:00
  I mean? And just getting booked for, I guess,
• 25:02
  the clout. I think that's a popular thing that
• 25:04
  I'm seeing online lately. Or the money. When
• 25:07
  people ask me about money, I was like, we don't
• 25:08
  do any of this for money. Right. It's not for
• 25:11
  money. Yeah. I go, you're just broke forever.
• 25:13
  And then some of us grind it out. And we're in
• 25:15
  the middle. And then some of my friends are richest
• 25:17
  dudes. And they have private jets. And they live.
• 25:21
  a different life, but there's no, but none of
• 25:23
  us are ever like money. I mean, after time, I
• 25:27
  don't even look at my check just because I've
• 25:29
  been fucked so many times. It's never more than
• 25:32
  what it's supposed to be. You know what I mean?
• 25:34
  Whenever I do a gig somewhere or something, I'm
• 25:37
  like, I've never just opened a check. and then
• 25:39
  have it be like, holy shit, they gave me a bonus
• 25:41
  or they did something nice. Very rarely, a couple
• 25:43
  places. But most of the time, it's less than
• 25:45
  what I thought I was getting and then it ruins
• 25:47
  the whole night. So I'm a terrible businessman
• 25:49
  like most comics, but I'll wait till I get back
• 25:52
  to my hotel and then I'll open it just hoping
• 25:54
  that it's the number I thought we negotiated.
• 25:56
  But it's more likely that it's going to be less
• 25:59
  and then I have to go down to the hotel lobby
• 26:01
  and get a fucking sandwich and a Dr. Pepper at
• 26:04
  midnight from some shitty hotel food and then...
• 26:06
  Go upstairs and be like fuck this place. I'm
• 26:08
  never coming back. Yeah, then there's something
• 26:10
  about that though Like I don't I don't know what
• 26:12
  it is I think it's maybe it's just like it is
• 26:14
  just the grind and just in the grind and then
• 26:16
  just getting that dr Pepper and sandwich Yeah,
• 26:19
  you're just like, you know what like I don't
• 26:21
  well all of it's like I always say it's like
• 26:22
  Ray Lewis one time he said like You pay me Monday
• 26:25
  through Saturday. I do Sunday for free and that's
• 26:28
  what stand -up is like you pay me To, you know,
• 26:32
  rent a car, be in a hotel, go to the airport,
• 26:35
  be away from loved ones, miss, you know, weddings
• 26:38
  or family events or important shit. The actual
• 26:41
  time on stage, that's how I do that for free.
• 26:43
  That's not, that's not the job. The job is everything
• 26:45
  else that, you know, promoting and editing and
• 26:49
  just the dumb shit. The actual, the second I
• 26:51
  walk on stage, the second I end, that's, that's
• 26:54
  just the, that's, that's not work at all. It's
• 26:57
  a release. Yeah, that's the best part. I love
• 26:59
  hosting. Just like just hosted open mic. Yeah.
• 27:02
  And I love that because I feel like I don't really
• 27:05
  try materials and you know what I mean? Like
• 27:07
  I just kind of just go and just have fun and
• 27:09
  and I always find like that I'm more like free.
• 27:12
  Well, yeah, you're just in the moment, but you
• 27:13
  should be trying material when you're hosting
• 27:15
  at least once every like three comics. Like if
• 27:18
  you want to riff off the riff about what just
• 27:21
  happened, sometimes that's that's great for the
• 27:23
  room. But occasionally there's nothing to riff
• 27:25
  off. and then that's when you just work in it.
• 27:28
  You want to use that time to practice a joke
• 27:30
  at least because you're the host, it doesn't
• 27:31
  really matter. Because if you can try something,
• 27:34
  if it doesn't work, you just do the next intro
• 27:35
  and then they'll forget about it. You don't have
• 27:37
  to sit in bombing. You can go, okay, well, that
• 27:40
  was shitty, but you know who's not shitty? Here's
• 27:42
  my next comic. But if you're hosting, I know
• 27:46
  what you're saying, but that stuff I wish earlier
• 27:48
  I would have made myself be like, all right,
• 27:50
  we're coming with three jokes. We're going to
• 27:53
  have 12 comics. Within the first four, I got
• 27:56
  to use one. Within the first eight, I got a second
• 27:58
  one. We'll try to just because that's what the
• 28:02
  older, better comics have told me. They're always
• 28:04
  like, dude, open mics. Quit having an ego. Take
• 28:07
  more chances. Take more chances. Which I should
• 28:09
  do, I mean, but it's easier to sit here and say.
• 28:12
  I always say I'm good at giving advice. I think
• 28:15
  I say it out loud like I'm saying it to you,
• 28:17
  but in my head, I'm just saying it to me again.
• 28:19
  I get it. So maybe if I say it to enough people,
• 28:22
  maybe one of these times, I'll do. what I'm telling
• 28:25
  everybody else to do. Oh, I get it, man. Was
• 28:27
  there was there like a piece of advice I was
• 28:28
  given to you that you just you're like to this
• 28:30
  day you're like this is I you do this every time?
• 28:34
  No, because I don't do anything every time. I
• 28:36
  mean, like simple stuff like, you know, the never
• 28:38
  wear shorts. you know, move the mics, just like
• 28:41
  technical shit that you just learn. Yeah. But
• 28:43
  like, and you know, like Sam Talent, he's a Denver
• 28:46
  guy. He's one of the best comics. He wears shorts
• 28:48
  and Gabriel sells out baseball. There's always,
• 28:50
  the one thing I'll say is there's no rules. Just
• 28:53
  do what's best. But like the best lessons I ever
• 28:57
  got were like, the coolest lesson I ever got
• 28:59
  was probably from a comic named Jimmy Dore, who's
• 29:02
  like just a great comic. And I was, I was young
• 29:06
  in comedy and I had just done a weekend with
• 29:08
  Ian Bagg. I love Ian Bagg. Ian Bagg is like the
• 29:11
  best crowd work guy. So Ian Bagg, I just watched
• 29:14
  Ian Bagg just crush crowd work, right? So I'm
• 29:16
  just sitting there whining to Jimmy Dore about
• 29:18
  it. Like, I don't know, I might do crowd work
• 29:20
  and just comedy this, that. Jimmy Dore didn't
• 29:23
  say anything. He just lets me riff and just kind
• 29:25
  of whine for like 10 minutes. And then he just
• 29:27
  grabs a napkin. And he has a pen right there.
• 29:31
  And then he just writes, comedy is hard on a
• 29:32
  napkin. And then he just sends it to me in the
• 29:35
  middle of me complaining. And I just look at
• 29:37
  it as like, oh shit. So then he goes, and let
• 29:39
  me tell you something about crowd work. Now this
• 29:41
  is a different time. This is a different time.
• 29:42
  Now crowd work is much more prevalent. But back
• 29:44
  then Jimmy's like, Ian's the best at crowd work.
• 29:47
  He's the only one doing crowd work. But first
• 29:48
  of all, crowd work is reserved for the headliner.
• 29:51
  That's the headliner. You don't do crowd work
• 29:53
  in front of me. I don't do crowd work, but if
• 29:55
  I want to, that's why I'm the headliner. I don't
• 29:57
  need you doing shitty crowd work in front of
• 29:59
  me. And he goes, secondly, you want to work other
• 30:02
  clubs, right? I said, yeah. He goes, if I vouch
• 30:04
  for you at another club, if I get you a guest
• 30:05
  spot, you can't come in there and do crowd work
• 30:07
  because you want to be on TV. Right. I go, yeah,
• 30:09
  because you can't do crowd work on TV. It's like
• 30:11
  you want to be on serious. You want to have a
• 30:13
  CD. You can't do crowd work. And I was like,
• 30:15
  oh, yeah, you're right. He goes, crowd work is
• 30:17
  just for the ego. He's like, any of us can do
• 30:20
  crowd work. It's easy. So then that night, or
• 30:22
  it was actually the next night, we're doing a
• 30:25
  show at LA Combi Club. They had this beautiful
• 30:26
  room in the Planet Hollywood and he never does
• 30:30
  crowd work. He always had, he's just a great
• 30:31
  writer. But to end the show, I'm standing in
• 30:33
  the back of the room. And he just starts doing
• 30:35
  crowd work. He looked to this girl in the front
• 30:37
  row and he's like, hey girl, you got any tattoos?
• 30:39
  And she's like, I got Texas on my butt or whatever.
• 30:42
  And then he'd just do crowd work, crush. And
• 30:45
  he'd rip on her and then he'd just look at me,
• 30:47
  make eye contact in the back room and he'd just
• 30:49
  go crowd work so hard. Then he went to another
• 30:52
  person. ripped them apart, looked at me, crowd
• 30:55
  worked real hard, and the crowd thought it was
• 30:57
  part of a bit. They didn't know he was staring
• 31:00
  directly at me, and I just sat there just watching.
• 31:03
  I was like, holy shit. This dude was teaching
• 31:04
  you a lesson. He was teaching me a lesson while
• 31:07
  crushing. Wow. He just didn't do his closer just
• 31:10
  to teach me a lesson, and he still crushed hard,
• 31:12
  and I was like, that was awesome. I tell that
• 31:15
  story to young comics all the time, and I'm like,
• 31:17
  he... It was just awesome. He didn't have to
• 31:20
  do that. And then I was like, you're right. And
• 31:22
  then I, then I got over my little crowd work
• 31:25
  phase, you know, I was like, okay, right. You're
• 31:27
  right. And then I put out a CD and stuff and
• 31:28
  I did what he told me. But he, I mean, and he
• 31:32
  was right. And my crowd work wasn't that, you
• 31:34
  know, it was okay, but Ian Baggs the best in
• 31:36
  the world at it. So of course, you know, it's
• 31:38
  like, I was watching Michael Jordan. I was like,
• 31:40
  I wanted. Go dunk. It was like you're not a dunker
• 31:42
  go make a layups or something. I don't it's a
• 31:44
  bad analogy But yeah, so shit like that's just
• 31:46
  cool shit I learned from you know, and guys like
• 31:49
  I was like Stan Hope but Stan Hope will say it
• 31:51
  over and over There's no you don't need classes
• 31:54
  or any of that shit It's just like just write
• 31:55
  as much you can get on stage as much you can.
• 31:57
  It's the most It's generic advice, you know comics
• 32:01
  one, you know sound like Smart guys or prophets.
• 32:05
  There's that's there's only there's two things
• 32:07
  just go write and get on stage, that's all it
• 32:09
  is. Yeah, yeah, it's an art, you know? There's
• 32:13
  no cheat code or we'd all do it. And if I had
• 32:15
  a cheat code, I wouldn't tell it to you anyway,
• 32:17
  you know? Part of that's, too. I could give,
• 32:19
  like, lessons to young comics, but I don't because
• 32:23
  they weren't given to me. I had to learn them
• 32:25
  on my own. Now, if I'm around a bunch of veterans
• 32:28
  in pro comics and sometimes we'll talk about
• 32:30
  stuff and then, but kind of you're like, no,
• 32:34
  you got to learn this shit. You've got to kind
• 32:37
  of learn on your own. And me saying it, some
• 32:39
  of this shit, if I said it, would sound arrogant
• 32:41
  stuff. But then when you do it, you're like,
• 32:43
  oh, so. Yeah. But that's really, I respect that
• 32:48
  because I understand it. It's really with anything,
• 32:53
  really, that you do. It's kind of like, you've
• 32:55
  got to go through the shit. You haven't learned
• 32:57
  it. Somebody can't just tell it to you. Yeah.
• 33:00
  When I went to CommieWorks, there was a... There's
• 33:03
  a waitress, she's like everyone's favorite waitress.
• 33:06
  She's been at ComedyWorks forever, maybe 25 years
• 33:09
  and she always works the green room. And then
• 33:11
  my first weekend at ComedyWorks, she was like,
• 33:15
  she was kind of a bitch to me. And now we're
• 33:17
  like close friends. And then over time, one time
• 33:19
  I was like, yo, why are you a bitch to me? She's
• 33:21
  like, man, I didn't know if you were gonna be
• 33:22
  around. I'm not kissing ass to everybody that
• 33:25
  comes in this green room. You had to prove to
• 33:27
  me that you were gonna be part of our ComedyWorks
• 33:29
  family. And then I'll treat you like family.
• 33:31
  And that's kind of how I'm, I'm very proud of
• 33:34
  being a comedian and I'm very, you know, it's
• 33:37
  us, but you don't get to just, just cause you
• 33:39
  wrote your name on an open mic, doesn't make
• 33:41
  you a comedian. You know, that's what I think
• 33:43
  is absurd. You can, people just, if you can print
• 33:46
  your name at a shitty bar somewhere, you can
• 33:48
  start calling yourself a comedian. Now technically
• 33:50
  you went on stage, but I, to me, you got to prove
• 33:53
  it, you know, and that could be years or it's
• 33:56
  just the way, you know, I'm just not going to
• 33:58
  let. We all work too hard at this for you to
• 34:01
  be a social media Influencer comedian or sometimes
• 34:05
  I'd be like that's not a fucking comedian That's
• 34:07
  a tick tocker that edits shit and yeah, and they
• 34:10
  they make 15 -second reels and the other funny
• 34:12
  But they shot him 46 times and edited for three
• 34:15
  hours and that's 15 seconds We when you headline
• 34:19
  you do 50 minutes an hour That's a lot of, and
• 34:23
  no editing, I mean you edit, but like I just
• 34:25
  get, I just get very territorial sometimes about
• 34:28
  like, stand up is different than like, I used
• 34:30
  to, I don't do it anymore, but I used to just
• 34:33
  shit on improv, like improv's the dumbest shit
• 34:35
  I've ever seen. But I also lived in LA and I
• 34:37
  just saw the worst improv. Now, like I don't
• 34:40
  know if Second City's still around. Occasionally
• 34:41
  I've seen like the best improv, it's really good.
• 34:44
  but it's still one out of like a hundred. But
• 34:47
  most improv, like when I was in LA and I was
• 34:49
  just trying to date like hot chicks that were
• 34:51
  too scared to be stand up or they want, they
• 34:53
  want, they would do improv. Then I'd have to
• 34:55
  sit through these. I'm like, I don't care how
• 34:57
  hot she is. It's not worth watching these stupid
• 35:00
  improv games. So, cause I always tell them pros
• 35:03
  that you guys are just pussies. If you wanted
• 35:06
  it, you would be a stand up. You should do a
• 35:07
  stand up. Yeah. The, um, I, um, I've been in
• 35:11
  a few improv things and I've seen, I've seen
• 35:13
  it. I just, I really didn't understand it. Like,
• 35:17
  you know, I just was like - Well, did you do
• 35:18
  stand -up first? I did stand -up first. See,
• 35:21
  I will say this too, while I shit on improv,
• 35:23
  is that I did improv classes. I did Second City
• 35:25
  in Vegas. I was the worst person in my class
• 35:27
  by far. And I had a really talented class. They
• 35:30
  were really good. Some of them are like real
• 35:33
  actors and stuff now. But my brain, I did stand
• 35:35
  -up first. And then my brain would go for the
• 35:38
  joke. There's no teamwork in standup, you know?
• 35:41
  I mean, you know, so like when I'm doing improv,
• 35:43
  I'm not, I don't want to be real giving. I was
• 35:45
  like, like we'd be in a scene. I was like, the
• 35:47
  joke's right here. And then I was like, well,
• 35:49
  it's not mine to make. And then so I would, but
• 35:52
  I did like going to this, to the improv classes,
• 35:55
  even though I was the worst one in our troop
• 35:57
  or whatever dumb shit it's called. But when I
• 36:00
  left there, it did make me feel creative. So
• 36:02
  I've always told standups, you should do it.
• 36:03
  Maybe you'll like it, or at least. I like being
• 36:06
  around creative people, just the class. There's
• 36:09
  just games. We don't have games to make shit
• 36:13
  funny. I saw a comic just came to ComedyWorks
• 36:16
  the other day, and he had a wheel. He was spinning
• 36:18
  a wheel to get crowd -wrecked topics. He's like,
• 36:20
  this is fucking terrible. He used to be a national
• 36:23
  touring headliner. What are you doing? You brought
• 36:26
  a wheel? What is this? Price is right? Fucking
• 36:29
  do your jokes. He's trying to reinvent it. Yeah.
• 36:34
  I just used to think he was like a really good
• 36:36
  comedian. And then I was like, well, I can't
• 36:39
  even watch this. We're spinning a wheel. Right.
• 36:42
  What's your favorite fruit or something? That's
• 36:44
  how we're going to get crowd work started. I
• 36:45
  was like, well, this is good. What do you think
• 36:48
  about like themed, like, have you ever done anything
• 36:50
  like themed shows or mics or anything like that?
• 36:53
  What do you mean? Like. So we got a few of them
• 36:56
  here. Right? Where it's like, uh, like they'll
• 36:58
  have like a, I don't know, like a gimmick mic,
• 37:00
  right? Where they give you a topic. I don't do
• 37:03
  shit like that just because it doesn't. I'm always
• 37:05
  trying to write my act that I could use. I want
• 37:07
  to get paid. You know, I don't, I don't need
• 37:09
  a character. You know, I don't want to, I just
• 37:12
  want to write my act. So I get it. I mean, whatever.
• 37:16
  It's just not for me. Like, you know, that's
• 37:19
  one thing I've learned from like some comics
• 37:22
  I respect. Instead of just being like, that fucking
• 37:24
  sucks. Needed to say that that's not for me Yeah,
• 37:29
  it's a little better be like that's because sometimes
• 37:31
  these are that's my friends doing stuff More
• 37:34
  like you know what I just shit on that guy with
• 37:36
  the wheel. He was always nice to me I just I
• 37:40
  wish I was better friends than I'd be like dude.
• 37:42
  Come on, man. You're a headliner Why you have
• 37:43
  a wheel out here? Yeah, but I could have just
• 37:46
  said what that's not for me But it's a little
• 37:49
  of me disappointed and like I don't you don't
• 37:52
  give up like you just keep her get better or
• 37:54
  like right Writing's hard, I just don't. You
• 37:57
  know, when I see, like, great comics, well, they
• 38:00
  don't, the great comics don't usually need to
• 38:02
  go to gimmicks. They just are great comics. That's
• 38:04
  what I tell people about, like, comedy classes.
• 38:07
  When they're like, I do comedy class, I go, why,
• 38:10
  comedy classes, have you ever seen, like, a great
• 38:13
  comedian do a comedy class? No, because they
• 38:15
  don't have time to teach a class because they're
• 38:17
  working on their act. Why would, comedy classes
• 38:19
  are taught by failures that, and they're not
• 38:22
  always failures, but they just don't want to
• 38:23
  do the work. Instead of making flyers for your
• 38:26
  comedy class, make flyers for your show. Instead
• 38:29
  of marketing your comedy class, market for your
• 38:31
  show. I could teach a class. That's what I loved
• 38:35
  about Ari. If you're watching this and you want
• 38:38
  a comedy class, Ari does like a four -hour free
• 38:40
  thing on YouTube. Or like Stan Hope will just
• 38:43
  say, if you want to learn, just buy a comic,
• 38:46
  a beer at the bar. Well, now I read comics like
• 38:48
  fucking nerds. sober, so buy a comic or fucking
• 38:51
  salad in the middle of the day and we'll, you
• 38:54
  know. Like I'm sitting here, I'll talk comedy
• 38:56
  with you, we love this shit. If you really wanna
• 38:58
  learn, you don't take a class, a class is fucking,
• 39:01
  I don't, I'm just anti -class. I mean, I'm just
• 39:05
  like, I'm just like a old purist of comedy. Just
• 39:09
  cause the guys ahead of me were like, cause when
• 39:11
  I was coming up, Louis Anderson and this guy
• 39:13
  named Kyle Cease were teaching this class for
• 39:14
  like $5 ,000 and. Like, the real comics were
• 39:18
  like, what the fuck is this? $5 ,000? Yeah, it's
• 39:21
  just like a scam, but people get promised stuff.
• 39:24
  Like, you get nothing in this unless you just
• 39:27
  work, so. Yeah, everything that, um, I haven't
• 39:30
  taken a comedy class or anything, I'm kind of
• 39:31
  the same way. I'm like, I don't, I feel like
• 39:34
  everything is already out there. Yeah. Like,
• 39:35
  you can learn everything. Well, with the internet,
• 39:36
  yeah, and podcasts, I learn on podcasts. Sure.
• 39:39
  Let's say you can't learn, but, I mean, there's
• 39:41
  good stuff, like... Little shit, like I said,
• 39:43
  you don't wear shorts on stage. When you come
• 39:45
  on stage, you move the mic behind you. There's
• 39:47
  stuff like that. But that's something, if I see
• 39:49
  a young comic, I just go, hey, when you come
• 39:50
  out, like, don't perform with the mic standing
• 39:53
  right in front of you blocking you. Just the
• 39:55
  first thing you should do is take the mic out
• 39:56
  of the stand and move that behind you. Right.
• 39:57
  And you could learn that from a class or you
• 39:59
  could just keep going and then hopefully, you
• 40:02
  know, someone, you know, because I don't know
• 40:04
  how I know that, but I just know that. Right.
• 40:06
  But I just think when around comics, like if
• 40:08
  you just. be around comics. Again, you got to
• 40:11
  weather the storm. You got to prove that you're
• 40:12
  going to be around. So like when people show
• 40:15
  up at ComedyWorks, now I'm kind of like Tanya.
• 40:16
  I'm like, I'm with you, but I'm not going to
• 40:21
  give you an hour of advice and then never see
• 40:23
  you again. If I know you're into this, I would
• 40:26
  love to help you, but you got to kind of prove
• 40:27
  yourself is kind of my way of thought. Mm -hmm.
• 40:31
  Yeah. And like we were saying before, it's like,
• 40:33
  yeah, it is something that you just have to do
• 40:35
  with anything in life. It's just like you have
• 40:37
  to go through the motions. And comedy has so
• 40:41
  fucking many. And just because you get good in
• 40:43
  one city, it's like, well, dude, there's a whole
• 40:46
  country. And every single one of them cities
• 40:48
  are different. Yeah, every crowd's different
• 40:50
  when I lived in LA. And then what I was doing
• 40:52
  in LA, if I go do shows in the Midwest, it would
• 40:55
  not do good. But my Midwest, I mean, it was just
• 40:57
  a different crowd. You know, you had to adjust.
• 40:59
  And then whenever I go to New York, I always
• 41:01
  was like that my LA stuff was just weak. I was
• 41:03
  like, New York's just more real. I can't come
• 41:06
  with this weak shit to LA. And then I don't know.
• 41:09
  And sometimes I probably got in my own head,
• 41:10
  but I just felt a different energy when I was
• 41:12
  in LA. I mean, in New York and LA, LA was just
• 41:15
  a different, but I mean, in LA, I lived there
• 41:18
  for like eight or nine years, but then I was
• 41:21
  just doing the same five minutes because I thought
• 41:22
  somebody important was in the crowd. My LA was
• 41:25
  bad for growth. Like, I didn't get any better.
• 41:29
  Because you think that there's somebody, you
• 41:31
  know, the head of HBO's in the back, but they
• 41:34
  weren't. So any time I had kind of a cool show,
• 41:37
  I wasn't... I should have been taking away more
• 41:39
  chance. I should have just always taken more
• 41:41
  chances. I've never been to LA. Just been to
• 41:45
  New York. That's cool. I was just gonna ask.
• 41:47
  LA's cool. I mean, LA was cool. I mean, I get
• 41:49
  to see your heroes and like... LA I think it's
• 41:52
  different now a lot of people left but when I
• 41:53
  lived there it was like I mean you just get it
• 41:56
  you could just go in the comedy store and you
• 41:58
  could be in the belly room and you know it could
• 42:01
  you could see rock and chapelle and Tosh in a
• 42:03
  matter of like 45 minutes and you'd just be like
• 42:06
  So that part was cool. I got to hang out like
• 42:09
  my first week in LA I got to go to Dane Cook's
• 42:12
  house, which was crazy. That is insane and I
• 42:14
  was like But then I didn't know and then I went
• 42:17
  this is a crazy story, but And I had like a big
• 42:20
  beard and I had like a cool thrift store shirt
• 42:22
  and my swimming trunks because Dane had a pool.
• 42:23
  They said we're going to a pool party. And then
• 42:25
  I got there and it was so LA because nobody knew
• 42:28
  who I was. So then people treated me much better
• 42:31
  because they thought I might be somebody cool.
• 42:33
  I was at Dane's house. Right. And then I was
• 42:35
  at Dane's and then I thought Dane would be, I
• 42:38
  thought there'd be like all these famous comics
• 42:40
  there. But then when I got there, there was a
• 42:41
  bunch of fucking loser, not loser comics, but
• 42:44
  just like way below Dane's level. You know, like,
• 42:48
  like. L .A. open micers are just like L .A. guys.
• 42:51
  And then I remember looking at my friend, I was
• 42:53
  like, where's like the famous comics? These are
• 42:56
  like all below. These are like comics I would
• 42:58
  think Dane would never hang out with. Why are
• 42:59
  they here? And I was like, why am I here? I shouldn't
• 43:02
  be here. This is Dane Cook's house. I'm not.
• 43:05
  I'm like, I'm talking shit about these guys,
• 43:07
  but I'm not supposed to be here. And then so
• 43:10
  but I just hung out. And then the craziest thing
• 43:12
  was when I came, there's a guy sitting. There's
• 43:16
  a guy with long hair and he was just jumping
• 43:18
  in the pool doing um cannonballs and nobody was
• 43:22
  really talking to him and I was like was that
• 43:24
  like Dan's like weird uncle or something you're
• 43:26
  just like a dude with long hair and then I went
• 43:28
  and talked to him and I didn't know who he was
• 43:30
  I just talking to him just like I just moved
• 43:32
  I'd been in LA maybe like four days I was just
• 43:35
  talking to him he was just talking we're just
• 43:36
  having regular conversation like two guys then
• 43:39
  I went inside and then like no one and I like
• 43:42
  to drink But Dane doesn't drink. So then all
• 43:44
  these young comics would never drink around Dane
• 43:46
  because they're like scared of Dane. It was just
• 43:48
  a weird vibe. So then I had a couple of beers
• 43:50
  and then Dane was playing ping pong and I was
• 43:52
  still like starstruck. So I was just watching
• 43:55
  Dane play ping pong and then Dane eventually,
• 43:57
  that guy with the long hair, he pulls out a guitar.
• 43:59
  He starts playing by the pool. All these people
• 44:01
  go sit around. I was like is that who's that
• 44:03
  Dan like your uncle or something? He's like that's
• 44:05
  Jerry Cantrell from house and Jerry Cantrell
• 44:08
  and then he was just sitting there playing acoustic
• 44:10
  guitar and then I went down there and watched
• 44:12
  but I didn't know I was just a dumb kid from
• 44:14
  Wyoming in LA like like again I don't know I
• 44:17
  should not have been at Dan Cook's house because
• 44:19
  there was some hot chicks of course and there's
• 44:21
  like Chris Klein was there the actor Chris Kleiner's
• 44:25
  yeah, this is like a long time ago But I was
• 44:28
  like, you come in the garage and there's like
• 44:30
  Dane's like, yeah, like a black was either a
• 44:32
  Lamborghini or Ferrari. Then his like, uh, there's
• 44:35
  a surfboard, like a Nickelodeon, uh, choice awards.
• 44:38
  I was like, this shit is his house is just dope.
• 44:41
  And I was like, and it was like my fourth day
• 44:43
  in LA. So stuff like that is like, it was just
• 44:47
  crazy, man. And then I got to go to Dane's house
• 44:49
  a couple other times. It was cool. I mean there's
• 44:52
  stories about I shouldn't tell those but we just
• 44:54
  crazy stuff happened and I would just pinch myself
• 44:57
  like man I'm a Dane cook about Dane cook's house
• 45:00
  and then eventually I'd lived in Vegas I mean
• 45:02
  in LA so long and Jeff dies my best friend in
• 45:05
  LA and I live with Jeff die and There was a Sunday
• 45:07
  one time we had a long night or whatever. We're
• 45:09
  laying around Just watching like WNBA. It's like
• 45:12
  August me. There's no football. Nothing We're
• 45:14
  just laying around with nothing going on kind
• 45:16
  of hung over probably and then Dane calls Jeff
• 45:19
  He's like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm
• 45:24
  out in Santa Monica at the beach. We're playing
• 45:25
  some sand volleyball. There's a bunch of chicks.
• 45:28
  Everybody's out here wanting to come out here.
• 45:30
  Jeff looked at me and he's like, you want to
• 45:31
  go? I was like, no. He's like, me either. Then
• 45:33
  we just laughed. We're like, if you'd have told
• 45:35
  us years ago, we could hang out with Dane Cook
• 45:37
  on the beach with hot chicks, I would have walked
• 45:40
  from Wyoming. We'd rather just lay on the couch
• 45:43
  and watch WNBA. That kind of shit is still surreal
• 45:47
  to me. Me and Jeff just laughed to each other.
• 45:50
  We don't want to sit in traffic or, you know,
• 45:52
  it's like, we just, we're just like, this is
• 45:54
  so shit like that in LA. I could tell you LA
• 45:56
  stories forever that just like. Just crazy. And
• 45:59
  I'm not like that dude. I'm from Wyoming. So
• 46:01
  I've never been around celebrities or famous
• 46:03
  people. So I never, you know, you know, when
• 46:05
  you're LA, everyone's like, oh, they're just
• 46:07
  regular, but like not to me, man. It was, I just
• 46:09
  be, you know, I always knew how to play it cool,
• 46:11
  but I'd always just be like, sometimes I would
• 46:14
  just like, if I was at some fancy person's house
• 46:16
  or something, I'd go in the bathroom and pee.
• 46:18
  And then just like look in the mirror and be
• 46:20
  like, can you believe we're fucking, can you
• 46:22
  believe we're here? And I just smiled and go
• 46:25
  out and be cool. But I never took it for granted.
• 46:27
  Like, you know, again, I never dreamed of a comedian.
• 46:30
  I was supposed to be a PE teacher. So to be at
• 46:33
  a mansion in the Hollywood Hills surrounded by,
• 46:36
  you know, people my mom watched on TMZ every
• 46:38
  day was like, this is crazy. That is cool. So
• 46:41
  that all of it was cool. You know, so, you know,
• 46:45
  I say in my book, you know, I outdream my dreams.
• 46:48
  Totally out dream. My dreams are like here and
• 46:50
  I did I never dreamed I get up and I've performed
• 46:53
  all over the world Performing Italy Greece Turkey
• 46:56
  Like I'd never thought I would I lived in Wyoming.
• 46:59
  I was like if I got to Phoenix I was gonna be
• 47:01
  huge Wow. Well at what point were you like, okay.
• 47:05
  All right. This is this is it This is this is
• 47:08
  where I'm going What to LA I mean like to just
• 47:11
  like in comedy like just when you started to
• 47:13
  see that like now you're getting It's always
• 47:18
  still just going it's all just I've never made
• 47:20
  it where I'm like that where it's like You know,
• 47:24
  it's still a grind I still know I'm not you know,
• 47:28
  I'm not I'm not there where I just know I can
• 47:31
  just have every weekend sold out So sure sure
• 47:33
  I wish you know, that's how my friends are like
• 47:36
  I open for Jeff Dyer a lot I used to, I don't
• 47:38
  anymore as much, but I'm so happy for him because,
• 47:42
  you know, I'll call him. I used to call him,
• 47:44
  be like, dude, sold out weekend. And then after
• 47:47
  like the fifth one, he was like, Hey, he didn't,
• 47:49
  he, he wasn't, he was just like, yeah, man, I
• 47:51
  sell out every weekend. And I was like, Oh yeah,
• 47:53
  you too. I guess I don't have to message you
• 47:55
  every Sunday night because this is what you do
• 47:57
  now. And so that's like, cool. Like that would
• 48:00
  be, you know, that's, I would like to get to
• 48:03
  that level again, just not for the money, just.
• 48:05
  you know, you worry about ticket sales and like,
• 48:08
  you know, you know, just like that part, the
• 48:11
  stress of like, you know, I'm headlining in Denver
• 48:16
  at ComedyWorks on September 16th, but it's a
• 48:18
  Wednesday. It's still beautiful out. There's
• 48:20
  Red Rocks, there's Rockies games, there's concerts.
• 48:23
  Yeah. I'm still not. So now, you know, I'll walk
• 48:26
  in there and I'm hoping there's a hundred people
• 48:28
  there. But I also think back to when I opened
• 48:30
  for Tom Segura, not too long ago, and there was
• 48:32
  95 people there. Yeah. And then maybe seven years
• 48:36
  later, Tom, I opened for Tom in Aspen in like
• 48:41
  the coolest private venue for only celebrities.
• 48:43
  And he walked out on stage and he was like, I
• 48:46
  come to your little shitty town to practice my
• 48:48
  jokes. So in a couple of months I could do them
• 48:50
  where the nuggets play, which was just a wild
• 48:52
  flex on these rich people in Aspen. And then
• 48:55
  he's playing them a basketball arena. So it's
• 48:58
  all. You just keep going, you know, like I think
• 49:01
  my books and I'm very proud of my book. And,
• 49:03
  you know, my book is one, one podcast away from
• 49:07
  probably changing my, you know, somebody, if
• 49:09
  I, you know, like I did your mom's house three
• 49:11
  times before Tom was super famous. Yeah. But
• 49:14
  if I went and talked about my book on your mom's
• 49:15
  house, it could change everything in a second.
• 49:18
  But yeah, you just never know. It's kind of wild
• 49:20
  to think that like, yeah, I'm just like, you're
• 49:21
  in a community with like, yeah. Or you could
• 49:23
  do one video that, you know, like, you know,
• 49:26
  I know comics, very big comics that I thought
• 49:29
  hated other comics, and then they probably did
• 49:32
  hate them, because L .A. was more of like a hatred
• 49:34
  thing, but then they saw a couple bits, and next
• 49:36
  thing you know, they run the biggest podcast
• 49:38
  in the world, and they changed their life. Yeah,
• 49:41
  that's wild. So you just never know, man. That's
• 49:42
  why you just keep going, and again, I don't do
• 49:44
  it for my own, I don't know, I could do, I could
• 49:47
  do other stuff. You know, like a couple times
• 49:51
  I've had girlfriends like, what would you do
• 49:52
  if you couldn't do comedy? I was like, I'd do
• 49:53
  whatever the fuck I want, I could sell. I'm good
• 49:56
  at talking. Yeah. If I could sell myself for
• 50:00
  an hour on stage just so I could go, I used to
• 50:02
  tell my ex like, you don't think I'd go get a
• 50:04
  job at a car dealership tomorrow and I'd be rich?
• 50:07
  Or a couple of times I've done like Christmas
• 50:08
  parties for like real estate agents or something.
• 50:11
  And they get a little cocky. Like I sold this
• 50:13
  house. Like, you know, if I want to be real estate
• 50:14
  tomorrow, I'll fucking crush you guys. But I
• 50:17
  take some little exam and I don't think I could
• 50:19
  sell houses way better than you. You look good
• 50:22
  in the picture, but I know how to talk to people.
• 50:24
  Yeah, yeah. So that's why I never worry about,
• 50:27
  like, I just keep doing comedy till, well, I'll
• 50:29
  just never, I'll always do comedy because no
• 50:31
  one ever quits. You know, I was talking about
• 50:33
  this with comedy and you just, you die. No one
• 50:35
  ever quits. Right. Even sometimes people say
• 50:37
  they quit, they always come back. And if they
• 50:40
  don't come back, that just means they died. You
• 50:43
  know? Yeah. Because someone would be like, my
• 50:45
  buddy, Matt, he was like, well, so and so, well,
• 50:47
  he never did it again. I was like, yeah, cause
• 50:49
  he died. If he was still alive, he was eventually
• 50:51
  going to come back. Cause once you get a taste
• 50:53
  of this, you never. Right, and then you and then
• 50:56
  you're always gonna say you're a comedian So
• 50:57
  then you meet people and they're like you are
• 50:59
  a comedian. Well, you should do it again You
• 51:00
  should and then you'd start you see one shitty
• 51:02
  comic I could do it again and then Oh, yeah.
• 51:05
  Comics just die. No one ever quits. There isn't
• 51:08
  many times when I just sat there and told people,
• 51:10
  like, you know, that's what I... Yeah, I'm a
• 51:12
  comedian, and all of a sudden now I make sense.
• 51:14
  Like, just the fact that I just constantly, like,
• 51:17
  joke. But it doesn't work in, like, settings
• 51:19
  like being a firefighter. I mean, I saw Rickles.
• 51:22
  I mean, not Rickles. I saw George Carlin. I think
• 51:24
  I saw his third to last show. And I walked out
• 51:27
  of there. I think he was, like, 72 or 73. And
• 51:31
  at the time, my grandpa was 72 or 73, and my
• 51:33
  grandma was helping him, and he was struggling
• 51:36
  with older guy stuff. I remember walking out
• 51:38
  of the Orleans Casino like, this motherfucker
• 51:40
  was incredible at 73. He was so sharp. He was
• 51:45
  so... And then he died maybe a month or two later.
• 51:48
  But I remember walking out like, I don't know
• 51:50
  if I'll ever be that good. And he's 70. And I
• 51:53
  just couldn't grasp of like... Having a full
• 51:56
  conversation with my grandpa at that point, you
• 51:58
  know, there was some struggles his hearing it
• 52:00
  was bad Like he was so sharp, but not sharp enough
• 52:03
  to go I just couldn't get over how sharp Karlin
• 52:05
  was and and like one of his last three or four
• 52:08
  shows So he's incredible as I'm saying nobody
• 52:10
  ever he never stopped. You just die. Yeah. Yeah,
• 52:14
  he is incredible Yeah, is there a certain level
• 52:16
  that you're just like like that's like that's
• 52:18
  what I'm trying to get to now I don't care about
• 52:20
  any of that. Gotcha. I mean, I just financial
• 52:22
  I guess to not do pretty good like what I always
• 52:26
  love when Rogan's like to me making it and this
• 52:29
  is like a generic thing to say is just When you
• 52:32
  go to a restaurant and then you just don't look
• 52:34
  at the right side of the menu You just look at
• 52:36
  the left. That's where I want to be at I just
• 52:38
  order because there's a comic for so many times,
• 52:40
  you know as a young comic I always knew how much
• 52:43
  money I had to the dollar like if it mean you
• 52:45
  went out to lunch and I was buying you lunch
• 52:47
  I'd be like, okay, that was $24. Okay, I'm 1546
• 52:50
  and now I have 1522 but then my phone bill is
• 52:54
  $119. I did never have to check. There was no
• 52:58
  apps back then. I had it in my head. Yeah. Then
• 53:01
  occasionally, and then of course, just the way
• 53:03
  life works. Then when I did check it, it was
• 53:06
  always less than what I thought I had in my head,
• 53:08
  but no. To not ever have to worry about money
• 53:10
  would be like, I don't care about money, but
• 53:14
  just as a comic for so many years, I just had
• 53:16
  to worry about money to now. Now I do pretty
• 53:19
  good where I can do whatever, you know, like
• 53:21
  I'm a big Bronco fan. Having season tickets last
• 53:24
  year was a big thing for me, but, and I like
• 53:28
  to spend money on my friend. I like, I don't
• 53:29
  have a wife or kids, so I like, uh, and I lived
• 53:32
  in Vegas, you know, in Vegas mentality. I was
• 53:34
  around the guys I worked for. Whoever's the richest
• 53:37
  guy in the room that he just picks up the tab
• 53:39
  all the time. Wow. And that's cool. You know
• 53:42
  because there's times like I went to dinner with
• 53:44
  like one time I got to go to dinner with Rogan
• 53:46
  a long time ago And I only had like $200. I didn't
• 53:49
  know if you know, I didn't know if Joe was gonna
• 53:52
  buy or not but then I was like I Then I ordered
• 53:56
  everyone is eating good shit and I ordered like
• 53:57
  chicken fingers cuz I was like shit I don't have
• 53:59
  much money and of course Joe paid for it at the
• 54:01
  end, but I was like mmm, so but just like that
• 54:04
  of like now I'm fortunate like When I go out,
• 54:08
  I can pick up tabs for my friends or like, you
• 54:10
  know, my friends, most of my closest friends
• 54:14
  now are employees at ComedyWorks and they're
• 54:17
  grinding. So, you know, sometimes I have big
• 54:19
  days. I'm like, come on, let's go buy you guys
• 54:21
  dinner. I appreciate what you do. So, yeah. And
• 54:23
  the same, like I got to open, once that time
• 54:26
  I was in Aspen. I get there and then I check
• 54:29
  in my hotel room. It was fucking, it was like
• 54:31
  a $1 ,200 a night hotel room. In my head I was
• 54:35
  like fuck Tom just give me this money for three
• 54:38
  nights. I was like I'll sleep in my car 36, you
• 54:40
  know But then it was just like so nice to him
• 54:43
  and then he wasn't I was at this beautiful at
• 54:45
  the W and Aspen and then And I hadn't seen Tom
• 54:48
  in a lot. I think it's like the comedy gods sometimes
• 54:51
  are watching I really believe there's comedy
• 54:52
  gods, but I was doing these terrible gigs in
• 54:54
  Lake Havasu in the middle of July I was like
• 54:57
  120 degrees out. Nobody's coming to shows I was
• 55:00
  just sitting in my terrible hotel room, like,
• 55:02
  this sucks. This life sucks. This sucks. And
• 55:04
  then out of nowhere, Tom's like, you want to
• 55:05
  open for me in Aspen at the, at the, uh, what
• 55:08
  the fuck's the place called? Anyway, this famous
• 55:11
  place in Aspen. And then I got there and then
• 55:14
  Tom, like, here's your room. And I was like,
• 55:17
  holy shit, I had a bathtub, all this shit. And
• 55:19
  then I was waiting and then Tom's like, meet
• 55:21
  me outside at like seven 30. And then I'm waiting
• 55:24
  for Tom to have a big entourage and everything.
• 55:26
  And then I come out, it was just Tom. And he
• 55:27
  wasn't even staying at my hotel. He was staying
• 55:28
  at a hotel next door, which I don't even think
• 55:30
  was as nice as mine. Wow, man. I think he just
• 55:33
  did it because he's just a good dude. Like it's
• 55:35
  still, I have the, this is wild. I'll show you.
• 55:38
  I have, I still have the room key from that day
• 55:42
  that I always think of Tom. Look at this. I have
• 55:45
  this, the W and Aspen. I still have, because
• 55:48
  I just thought it was so cool that Tom. And then
• 55:51
  Tom was so, another thing Tom did, he was just
• 55:55
  like, I'd never worked with anybody else that
• 55:57
  did this. He was like, I don't know what I'm
• 55:59
  going to pay you. You just get a percentage of
• 56:01
  what I make. And I was like, how fucking cool
• 56:04
  is that? And it was very generous and nice, but
• 56:06
  I was like, so that weekend, that's why I just
• 56:09
  keep that room key with me, just because it reminds
• 56:10
  me of like, you know, you go through so many
• 56:13
  shitty weekends that, well, that was just like
• 56:15
  a cool. I mean, so many cool, I can tell you
• 56:17
  so many cool stories. And I knew this girl from
• 56:19
  Aspen, super rich girl that grew up there. And
• 56:21
  she texted me after the show. She was like, hey,
• 56:24
  there's like this restaurant. I don't know if
• 56:25
  you could get in it, but you, you guys should
• 56:28
  try if you could. I was like, bitch, we're eating
• 56:30
  there right now. I'm in there. And then I was
• 56:33
  eating with Tom. And then Tom, you know, Tom
• 56:35
  was so nice about everything. And then we went
• 56:37
  with a group of people and they're all over Tom.
• 56:40
  And then Tom's like sitting next to me. And then
• 56:41
  he was like, and another thing about going out
• 56:44
  with like Tom was like, Because I knew I could
• 56:47
  just order whatever I wanted. It wasn't like
• 56:48
  the Joe thing. I was going to eat good. I was
• 56:50
  like, I'm just going to order what Tom does.
• 56:51
  But being with Tom, we come in, we sit down.
• 56:54
  They just start bringing all this food. They're
• 56:57
  like, here's some oysters from the chef he'd
• 56:59
  like to have. The general manager come over,
• 57:01
  here's some crab claws. Here's something from
• 57:05
  the valet. I was like, Tom, do we ever even order?
• 57:08
  They just bring you so much free shit. That is
• 57:10
  fucking insane. It was so cool and I'm just sitting
• 57:12
  there and Tom just like, this is what it is.
• 57:14
  I was like, dude, but shit like that is like.
• 57:17
  Again, I always just always comes back to a kid
• 57:20
  from a small town kid from Wyoming I was like
• 57:21
  I'm fucking in Aspen was one of the biggest comics
• 57:24
  in the world And I can't even order because they're
• 57:26
  too busy giving me shit. I couldn't order in
• 57:29
  my life if I wanted That reminds me of that Kevin
• 57:31
  Grant not I think it's Kevin Grant But that that's
• 57:34
  special that on that was his name did Kevin Hart
• 57:37
  did all right? Yeah Yeah, we were talking about
• 57:38
  how the basketball player was like, you know
• 57:41
  renting out like Disney World. Oh, yeah Yeah,
• 57:43
  it reminds me of that. Yeah. Yeah, cuz I would
• 57:45
  be it like I'd be at that level, I'd be like,
• 57:47
  oh yeah, I'm just gonna go sleep in my Pontiac
• 57:49
  Vibe real quick. No, he was like, you know what
• 57:52
  he, that's what I say about Tom, he didn't, it
• 57:55
  was gonna be a good, he was really like, but
• 57:58
  that's insane, these bigger comics, they've been
• 58:00
  at our level, whatever level we're at, but sometimes
• 58:03
  they don't, but he took the time to be like,
• 58:07
  I'm gonna make this a good, I'm gonna just make
• 58:11
  this a special weekend. I mean, he probably didn't
• 58:13
  even know it would be that special. He, but that's
• 58:16
  just what a good dude it was. He just did something
• 58:18
  nice. And then, and then, but then that's what
• 58:20
  I learned. If I got to that level, I mean, as
• 58:22
  a headliner, I still always whoever's below me.
• 58:25
  It's like, can I walk in a green room? I'm like
• 58:27
  feature host your stuff's on me, whatever. Whenever
• 58:30
  I headline, I try to give a local person a guest
• 58:33
  spot, but that stuff I learned from other, you
• 58:35
  know, again, that's not comedy class stuff. Like
• 58:37
  everything Tom did that time, you wouldn't talk
• 58:40
  about it in a class, but I was. I was in a class
• 58:43
  and I'm smart enough to learn. So yeah, like
• 58:46
  I took from, I've been fortunate to work with
• 58:49
  a lot of cool headliners and they're just generous.
• 58:52
  And then I want to do the same because, you know,
• 58:55
  there's so many hell gigs and shit gigs. Like
• 58:57
  I was saying earlier, there's so many times the
• 58:59
  paycheck's not what you think it is. I don't
• 59:01
  want anybody to work with me to have that. I
• 59:03
  want to have like a good, I want them, I just
• 59:06
  want to make it as good as it can. Cause no matter
• 59:08
  what they're going to have some shitty kicks
• 59:09
  coming up probably. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, I can,
• 59:12
  I can see like how, you know, like those kinds
• 59:14
  of things, those little nuances. I just meant,
• 59:16
  you know, I still have a fucking room key in
• 59:18
  my wallet for, that's probably three years ago.
• 59:20
  It means a lot to a lot of people. Yeah, just
• 59:22
  as like a reminder of like, just keep going.
• 59:25
  And it's just a reminder of like, like I said,
• 59:27
  I was having such a terrible week before and
• 59:30
  somehow just out of nowhere, he just hit me up.
• 59:32
  He's like, you want to do this gig? And I was
• 59:35
  like, yeah. Just lifted you right up. Yeah. So
• 59:38
  this is cool. So that's the stuff you can't really,
• 59:40
  you know. That's why you just keep going as generic
• 59:43
  as it is. Just keep going. You just can't stop.
• 59:46
  Because you just never know. Yeah, you never
• 59:48
  know, man. You never know. But you can't get
• 59:52
  there without doing the work. You can't get there
• 59:56
  without learning. And there's many times that
• 59:58
  even me, like in my writing right now, like,
• 1:00:01
  you know, I'm fucking like way green, but there's
• 1:00:04
  many times that I'm just like, when I'll write
• 1:00:07
  and I'll be like, let me try this. And it just.
• 1:00:09
  Like it doesn't work here and then it works there.
• 1:00:12
  You know, it might work. You can try it. It might
• 1:00:14
  work in a year or something. Sure. Yeah. I work
• 1:00:17
  with something else or the climate might change
• 1:00:19
  or you might write a joke about lettuce at Taco
• 1:00:22
  Bell two years ago that meant nothing. Yeah.
• 1:00:25
  And now all of a sudden it's like relevant. Yeah.
• 1:00:28
  I mean, that's a weird analogy, but yeah, it
• 1:00:30
  can come. There's stuff that I've shelved for
• 1:00:32
  years that fit in or fit in a book or fit in,
• 1:00:36
  you know, As long as you're writing it, it could
• 1:00:39
  go in a sketch one day. It could go in. It could
• 1:00:41
  even be a tag for one of your friends. Yeah.
• 1:00:44
  There's been countless times someone's like,
• 1:00:45
  hey, man, I had a joke like that that I don't
• 1:00:47
  really do. And they're like, because, you know,
• 1:00:49
  you never want it. That's the worst thing is
• 1:00:51
  stealing some of the material or have someone.
• 1:00:53
  Or if like you had a joke, but then you did it
• 1:00:55
  a bunch of times and then you kind of got rid
• 1:00:57
  of it and then gave it to me. It still could
• 1:00:59
  be disaster because someone could be like, oh,
• 1:01:01
  I remember you told that joke. So it's people
• 1:01:04
  are tricky about taking taglines, but. people
• 1:01:06
  I trust are like, I'll tell them, hey, I wrote,
• 1:01:09
  I was writing something like that. It never made
• 1:01:11
  it to stage, but I think I have this little line
• 1:01:13
  that might work with you. And then they're like,
• 1:01:15
  oh, that's dope. And it helped them. And then
• 1:01:17
  you could have a proud moment of like, oh shit,
• 1:01:20
  that was never for me. That was always, now that's
• 1:01:23
  crushing for them. So that's why you just keep
• 1:01:25
  writing again, like I said, Stan, but anyone
• 1:01:27
  to tell you. So generic, just keep writing, keep
• 1:01:31
  writing, get on stage, keep writing. That's true,
• 1:01:34
  man. That's all it is. That's all it is, man.
• 1:01:36
  But I kind of love writing, man. Yeah, well,
• 1:01:38
  that's great. It's peaceful. Just kind of just
• 1:01:40
  sitting there and just taking an idea. I like
• 1:01:42
  the process of it, just writing everything all
• 1:01:45
  at once and then breaking it down. But the only
• 1:01:50
  time I think that, because my jokes are so silly,
• 1:01:53
  but the only time that I think I've ever been
• 1:01:54
  told, hey, you stole that joke was when. I went
• 1:01:57
  on Kill Tony and I had a Black Widow joke and
• 1:02:00
  I told a Black Widow joke and it was, it wasn't
• 1:02:02
  good, right? But somebody was like, oh, you stole
• 1:02:05
  that from Theo Vaughn. And I go and I watch Theo
• 1:02:08
  Vaughn's Black Widow joke and it's like. Fucking
• 1:02:12
  yeah, the way it should have been done. Oh, yeah,
• 1:02:15
  it's like a shit. It was perfectly done. Yeah,
• 1:02:18
  I was like, how could you even like compare?
• 1:02:21
  Yeah, that's who you know, it kind of reminded
• 1:02:23
  me of the whole Dane Cook Louis CK like yeah
• 1:02:25
  Well the internet don't listen to internet No,
• 1:02:28
  I'm just cuz it just cuz if you have a black
• 1:02:30
  widow joke and someone else has a black widow
• 1:02:32
  joke Then they're gonna say that they could be
• 1:02:34
  about two different things and sometimes you
• 1:02:36
  get I mean back to Kanaan I have gout I got gout
• 1:02:41
  years ago, and like, I get Gout, I start writing
• 1:02:45
  all this Gout shit, because I was like, I've
• 1:02:46
  Gouted him right about my life. And then that
• 1:02:49
  week, Kanane, he also had Gout, and then he just
• 1:02:51
  did this incredible bit about it on Conan, and
• 1:02:54
  then I just had to be like, oh fuck, I can't
• 1:02:56
  even get some jokes out of this pain. Because
• 1:02:58
  he kind of just nailed the whole topic. Everything
• 1:03:01
  I had written was similar, because there's not
• 1:03:04
  that much stuff different you could write about
• 1:03:05
  Gout. But he did it so good, I just had to be
• 1:03:08
  like, well. And then I shelved that. And then
• 1:03:10
  later, years later, I had for a little bit of
• 1:03:15
  little gout stuff that just went a different
• 1:03:18
  direction. But just years later, because I kind
• 1:03:21
  of wrote off that, I was like, Kanaan pretty
• 1:03:23
  much nailed it. But then my gout flared up and
• 1:03:25
  other weird shit happened to me. I was like,
• 1:03:27
  oh, I can still talk about gout, take pieces
• 1:03:30
  of what I started with and then do something
• 1:03:33
  that's not similar to Kanaan's at all. It's a
• 1:03:36
  gout bit. But it's different. It's a different
• 1:03:38
  thing. So what does it do? Like, it just hurts
• 1:03:41
  like shit. Well, they call it the King's disease.
• 1:03:45
  And then you get it from like, King's used to
• 1:03:47
  get it. It's like, I always say it's from You
• 1:03:49
  Live Too Good. Like you'll never meet a nerd
• 1:03:51
  with fucking gout. Cause it's like red meat,
• 1:03:53
  alcohol, shellfish. That's why they call it the
• 1:03:56
  King's disease. Cause the Kings used to get it.
• 1:03:58
  So you'll get it in your joint. So I'll usually
• 1:04:00
  get it in my big toe and the uric acid will just
• 1:04:03
  like crystallize and it hurts more than anything
• 1:04:05
  in the world. I would say it's probably pregnancy
• 1:04:06
  and then gout. I've never been pregnant, but
• 1:04:09
  women tell me pregnancy hurts. But anybody that
• 1:04:12
  has gout. It seems like it does. If I even put
• 1:04:13
  like a bed sheet on my foot. it'll go through
• 1:04:16
  my whole body. It's a terrible, terrible feeling.
• 1:04:19
  And there's a lot of comics that have it, because
• 1:04:20
  comics are cool. Comics have it. Rock stars have
• 1:04:24
  it. Comics are fucking dope, too. Yeah, because
• 1:04:26
  they live like king. They live like king. It's
• 1:04:28
  not for nerds. That's why I say pimps always
• 1:04:30
  walk the limp. That's gout, baby. Dumb joke,
• 1:04:34
  but yeah. So that, yeah, I hope you never get
• 1:04:36
  it, but you have to earn it. Again, if you're
• 1:04:39
  not a nerd. Now I just I take a pill every day
• 1:04:43
  and it just goes away. So it's oh, that's awesome.
• 1:04:45
  It's not anything bad Yeah, all my seafood is
• 1:04:47
  frozen basically right now, but I'm working my
• 1:04:49
  way up Yeah, you're good like when you um when
• 1:04:52
  you did your when you do your book So I know
• 1:04:54
  we were talking about before like what prompted
• 1:04:56
  you to even write the book to begin with just
• 1:04:58
  a wild story I was doing so Brad Garrett You
• 1:05:01
  know, the guy from Everybody Loves Raymond, like
• 1:05:03
  the tall guy, famous actor. Little Fish, Finding
• 1:05:05
  Nemo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy John's. He owns
• 1:05:10
  a club in Vegas, Brad Garrett's Comic Club at
• 1:05:13
  the MGM, and it's an awesome club. It's one of
• 1:05:15
  my favorites, too. So I would work his room a
• 1:05:17
  lot, and then I became friends with him. But
• 1:05:20
  after shows, Brad always bounces. He's famous,
• 1:05:23
  and people are always waiting for him. So I used
• 1:05:24
  to just sit in a green room and tell stories
• 1:05:26
  to his godson. Ed runs the room, and then his...
• 1:05:29
  His sound guy, Dre, is my boys, and I used to
• 1:05:31
  just sit and tell him all these crazy stories,
• 1:05:33
  and we'd have beers after shows. And then they
• 1:05:35
  kept telling Brad, like, oh, you got to listen
• 1:05:37
  to Brandt's stories. You got to listen to Brandt's
• 1:05:38
  stories. So then one night, I thought Brad would
• 1:05:41
  leave. It was like a Sunday, and I almost went
• 1:05:42
  back to LA with the feature. She was driving
• 1:05:45
  back, and I rode the Asian bus out. There's a
• 1:05:48
  bus from LA, and they call it the Asian bus because
• 1:05:51
  they show like Asian, it's pretty much all Asians,
• 1:05:53
  and then they show Asian movies. They serve Asian
• 1:05:55
  food. I don't want it to, but I was like going
• 1:05:58
  to try to Be woke or something. But it just,
• 1:06:00
  that's what it is. It's an Asian bus run by Asian
• 1:06:02
  people. So I wrote it. It was like 25 bucks to
• 1:06:04
  ride or something, whatever. So I didn't have
• 1:06:06
  a lot of money. So I just rode the bus and then
• 1:06:09
  I was like, but I had a, but Brad gives you a
• 1:06:11
  beautiful hotel room. So I was like, I could
• 1:06:13
  ride back with this comic back to my shitty apartment,
• 1:06:16
  West Hollywood, or I could just spend another
• 1:06:17
  night in this beautiful hotel room and then ride
• 1:06:20
  the Asian bus back. And then, um, luckily Just
• 1:06:24
  stayed for some reason it may have been fate
• 1:06:26
  or something But then Brad comes off stage and
• 1:06:28
  he just looks at me and he's like, oh you guys
• 1:06:29
  I heard you got some stories. Let's hear these
• 1:06:31
  stories. I was like, alright, it was like he's
• 1:06:34
  like you want to get a drink We're like, yeah,
• 1:06:35
  so then we go we walk through the middle of the
• 1:06:37
  casino, which is wild cuz he's you know He's
• 1:06:39
  like 610 everybody recognizes him, but we just
• 1:06:42
  keep going He sees he's always super great grateful
• 1:06:45
  and nice to the fans, but we get to the middle
• 1:06:47
  of the other casino There's a bar in the middle
• 1:06:50
  of the MGM and we sit at this table for top I'm
• 1:06:53
  sitting on this side, Brad's right across from
• 1:06:54
  me, Dre's to my left, Ed's across. And he's like,
• 1:06:57
  you guys want a drink? And we're like, yeah,
• 1:06:59
  so we order, Brad's been sober for a long time,
• 1:07:01
  so he orders like a fruity cocktail or something.
• 1:07:04
  And then me and Dre and Ed, we all get Coors
• 1:07:06
  Lights. He's like, all right, you got stories,
• 1:07:08
  let's go. So I just start telling stories, right?
• 1:07:10
  Just from all of it, from my dad, all the stuff
• 1:07:12
  in the book. And Brad is just sitting across
• 1:07:15
  from me, like hanging on every word. So, which
• 1:07:17
  was good because... all the people wouldn't come
• 1:07:20
  interrupt because they could tell brad was like
• 1:07:21
  really into me talking which was cool because
• 1:07:23
  i'm still talking to brad but in my head i'm
• 1:07:25
  like holy shit i'm telling stories to brad garrett
• 1:07:27
  right and then i'm looking and watching people
• 1:07:29
  watch this and then um so i tell him about our
• 1:07:32
  stories he's like holy shit and then he does
• 1:07:34
  then he did a cool thing just I don't know if
• 1:07:36
  he did it on purpose or not, just to kind of
• 1:07:38
  reset that he's the man, but he was like, all
• 1:07:40
  right, let's order another round of drinks. And
• 1:07:42
  then there was a shot of Louis the 13th on the
• 1:07:44
  wall, some fancy Louis the 13th. And he looks
• 1:07:47
  at us three, he goes, you guys ever had Louis
• 1:07:49
  the 13th? And we're like, no. Then the cocktail
• 1:07:52
  waitress comes over and he's like, how much a
• 1:07:53
  shot of Louis the 13th? And she's like, $317
• 1:07:57
  a shot. Brad's like, what? $317? And he's like...
• 1:08:01
  She's like, yeah, sorry, Brad. I can't do anything.
• 1:08:03
  He's like, all right, give me three of them.
• 1:08:04
  So he orders us these shots, right? And he goes,
• 1:08:07
  all right, keep telling the story. So then she
• 1:08:09
  brings out these shots, which is funny too, because
• 1:08:10
  then we cheers them and then we drank them. They're
• 1:08:12
  terrible. They taste terrible. I don't have a
• 1:08:15
  palette. I think they probably taste good to
• 1:08:16
  rich people, but I'm drinking Corzite. And then
• 1:08:19
  Dre like spills part of his and we're laughing
• 1:08:21
  at Dre like, there goes 125. And then, um, but
• 1:08:24
  then I just keep telling Brad the stories. So
• 1:08:26
  I tell him stories for like two hours. And then
• 1:08:29
  I get up and I go to the bathroom and I come
• 1:08:30
  back and he's like, dude, what you have is a
• 1:08:33
  movie. He's like, you, you have a movie. He's
• 1:08:36
  like, you need to write a script. I was like,
• 1:08:37
  I don't, I don't know how to write a script.
• 1:08:40
  So you got to write a script. And then he's like,
• 1:08:42
  you know what, just do this. Just write 30 pages
• 1:08:44
  of your best stories and then bring them back
• 1:08:45
  to me. And he's like, I'm not saying I could
• 1:08:47
  do anything. I'm not. He's like, I'll try to
• 1:08:49
  help you, but it's Hollywood. I don't know. But
• 1:08:51
  what you have is something special and I'll help
• 1:08:54
  you if I can. And I was like, okay, cool. And
• 1:08:57
  then they must have told him I was on the Asian
• 1:08:58
  bus when I was in the bathroom. And then he just
• 1:09:01
  fucking palm, like, palm me like $200 a handshake.
• 1:09:05
  He's like, get a flight home. He's like, nobody
• 1:09:06
  fucking plays at my club rides the fucking Asian
• 1:09:09
  bus. And I was like, oh, thanks, Brad. And then,
• 1:09:12
  of course, I needed the 200 bucks, so I still
• 1:09:14
  rode the Asian bus. That was like 15 meals for
• 1:09:16
  me. So I just, you know, I was like, thanks,
• 1:09:18
  Brad. So then I went back home and then I wrote
• 1:09:21
  30 pages. And then I came and I brought them
• 1:09:23
  back to him. And he's like, dude, these are great.
• 1:09:26
  But at the time he was producing, I think he
• 1:09:28
  was shooting Fargo or something. He's like, I'm
• 1:09:29
  just really busy. I want to help you, but I can
• 1:09:31
  only do so much. He's like, what you need to
• 1:09:33
  do is write a script or write a book. And again,
• 1:09:35
  I was like, I don't know how to write a script.
• 1:09:37
  And he's like. All right, just write a book and
• 1:09:40
  I was like, all right I was like I'll just write
• 1:09:41
  a book never knowing how hard it was and then
• 1:09:43
  I just So then I had those 30 pages to start
• 1:09:46
  with of stories and then I just started writing
• 1:09:48
  a book and then like a fucking idiot I wrote
• 1:09:50
  a book and then I had no money, you know I just
• 1:09:53
  wrote it the coolest thing about the whole story
• 1:09:55
  is Brad was like So Brad said write 30 pages
• 1:10:00
  of stories and I was like so then I was staying
• 1:10:02
  with Jeff Dye but he flew to like to Europe because
• 1:10:06
  he was shooting his TV show for a month. He did
• 1:10:08
  this TV show with like William Shatner and Terry
• 1:10:10
  Bradshaw, George Foreman and Henry Winkler. So
• 1:10:13
  I just had his house for a month. Yeah, it was
• 1:10:15
  super cool. So he's over there in Japan shooting
• 1:10:18
  all the shows and then he's like, I'll be back
• 1:10:20
  in a month. And I was like, I have 30 days to
• 1:10:22
  write this. I'll try to write a page a day. So
• 1:10:24
  every day I didn't drink for a whole month and
• 1:10:26
  I would go get my steps every day and then I
• 1:10:29
  would just write these 30 pages. And then on
• 1:10:30
  the final day, I finished my 30 page. And I'm
• 1:10:33
  sitting in Jeff's house and my phone starts blowing
• 1:10:35
  up and it's my best friend Justin who's in Vegas.
• 1:10:38
  And he goes, yo, your boy Brad, he's in my restaurant.
• 1:10:41
  And my boy works at this restaurant called Sushi
• 1:10:43
  Samba. I was like, what? He's like, yeah, he's
• 1:10:46
  in here with his fiance. I go, yo, what's his
• 1:10:48
  tab at? He's like, he's at like 128. I was like,
• 1:10:51
  okay, try to not let him order anything else.
• 1:10:54
  Cause I had like $500 to my name, but I was like,
• 1:10:57
  I want to pay Brad's tab. I go, can I pay Brad's
• 1:11:00
  tab? Will you, I'm gonna text you my credit card.
• 1:11:02
  Will you try to, don't let him order anything
• 1:11:05
  else. I don't have a lot of money, but just try
• 1:11:06
  to. So then I send him my credit card and then
• 1:11:09
  he walks out and then he's like, Mr. Garrett,
• 1:11:12
  Mr. Tobler wants to pay for your dinner. And
• 1:11:15
  he said, Brad just goes, what the fuck, man?
• 1:11:18
  Why would he do that? He doesn't have any money.
• 1:11:21
  And then I get that I get a text from Brad which
• 1:11:23
  I still have which is like something I cherish
• 1:11:25
  She's like who the fuck you think you are Steve
• 1:11:27
  win, you know, that was the nicest thing but
• 1:11:29
  it was so cool because Brad You know, you don't
• 1:11:32
  get a chance to do nice stuff for like if Brad
• 1:11:34
  if he wants it You can't buy him a gift or something.
• 1:11:36
  So that was really cool that I got to do That's
• 1:11:39
  something I'm so proud of even though it was
• 1:11:40
  25 % of what I had in life I got to buy him the
• 1:11:43
  dinner and then I am so then I went to So then
• 1:11:47
  I brought him the 30 pages, like three days letter.
• 1:11:49
  And then of course he was like super nice about
• 1:11:51
  everything. And then, um, yeah, then I just wrote
• 1:11:54
  the book and then, um, when the book was finished
• 1:11:58
  again, I was broke. I'd left LA and I just was
• 1:12:00
  writing it in Phoenix, stand up my cousin Kato's
• 1:12:04
  and then I had no money. So I just had to reach
• 1:12:06
  out to like all these teachers that I grew up
• 1:12:09
  with in Wyoming and like a lawyer just. randomly
• 1:12:12
  I reached out for like editing and like five
• 1:12:15
  women helped me and I'm so glad it was women
• 1:12:18
  because they It's written by such it from like
• 1:12:21
  a man's point of view that they gave me good
• 1:12:23
  women notes Like hey, maybe not so many whores
• 1:12:26
  in here stuff like that So they edit it all for
• 1:12:29
  me and then my girl Nikki Ward who I grew up
• 1:12:31
  with went to high school as she did the book
• 1:12:32
  for me the cover and everything in the formatting
• 1:12:35
  and then um So again, thanks to Wyoming Wonderful
• 1:12:39
  women from Wyoming. They helped me finish the
• 1:12:42
  book and then I was still in Phoenix and I got
• 1:12:45
  the book they sent me like a copy to approve
• 1:12:49
  And I'll never forget, I'm sitting in a Chick
• 1:12:50
  -fil -A in Phoenix, and I'm just looking at my
• 1:12:53
  book. I'm just crying, crying about this Chick
• 1:12:55
  -fil -A. You know, Chick -fil -A just has old
• 1:12:57
  people, the working there, so this nice old lady
• 1:12:59
  comes over and is like, son, are you okay? I'm
• 1:13:00
  like, yeah, I'm okay, I'm fine. I remember just
• 1:13:03
  looking at this book like, I fucking, I did it.
• 1:13:06
  And then I was like, what if nobody buys it?
• 1:13:07
  And they're like, who cares? They can never take
• 1:13:09
  this away from me. You know, I did it. And then,
• 1:13:11
  of course, everybody bought it, and I sold a
• 1:13:13
  ton. And like I told you before, it's kind of
• 1:13:15
  funny. I know it's like a back -ed compliment,
• 1:13:17
  and I know they weren't trying to be mean. But
• 1:13:19
  so many people in my life were like, I get messages
• 1:13:22
  that always were just like, dude, I bought your
• 1:13:24
  book because I love you, but it's actually like
• 1:13:26
  really good, which I know what they're saying
• 1:13:28
  is like, I was shocked that I just was going
• 1:13:30
  to support you because I always support you.
• 1:13:32
  But it's actually like a really good book. So
• 1:13:34
  that's always been fun of like. I mean, still
• 1:13:37
  to this day, I know what my image is. I'm an
• 1:13:39
  idiot. I dropped out of junior college. I was
• 1:13:41
  never supposed to write a book. So I don't think
• 1:13:43
  people are expecting that much when they read
• 1:13:45
  it, but it always makes me laugh that they're
• 1:13:47
  always like, holy shit, it's actually really
• 1:13:49
  good. So it is. Yeah. So that's just all, it
• 1:13:52
  just came from Brad saying that. And then, cause
• 1:13:54
  again, like I never dreamed I could write a book.
• 1:13:56
  So, you know, shout out Brad Garrett, like, well,
• 1:13:59
  you know, that's one of the first things I say
• 1:14:00
  in the acknowledgement is thank you without Brad,
• 1:14:02
  you know? So it was, uh, He just said, do it.
• 1:14:07
  And then, you know, I'm a kid from Wyoming. I
• 1:14:09
  keep saying that, sorry. But like, again, Brad
• 1:14:11
  Garrett, he's a famous celebrity. And he was
• 1:14:14
  like, do this. And I was like, I gotta do, I'm
• 1:14:16
  a lazy piece of shit. If someone else told me
• 1:14:18
  to do that, I probably would have never done
• 1:14:20
  it. But, you know, it's like, I never had like
• 1:14:22
  a famous friend. So when he said, do it, luckily
• 1:14:24
  I was like, I should do this. Brad Garrett told
• 1:14:27
  me to do it. So I'll always owe Brad for that.
• 1:14:29
  It was, you know, he didn't have to do it. My
• 1:14:32
  bad. That was my eye. I kicked that over. No,
• 1:14:34
  you're kidding. Yeah, he didn't have to do that.
• 1:14:37
  And then luckily did. And then like he said,
• 1:14:40
  he tried to help it get made as a movie and people
• 1:14:42
  have tried to get it to a movie. But the first
• 1:14:45
  couple of times I got excited, you know, people
• 1:14:48
  would reach out, lawyers and shit, like people
• 1:14:49
  want to buy your book rights. And then I would
• 1:14:52
  get excited, but now I don't. It's all Hollywood
• 1:14:54
  shit. I don't know what's ever gonna happen it
• 1:14:56
  right I don't it's out of if I get a check window.
• 1:14:58
  I don't act I don't I told you I was terrible
• 1:15:00
  damn problem not an actor so I could play When
• 1:15:03
  I was in LA people asked me to act but it was
• 1:15:05
  only like a homeless guy Every every role I had
• 1:15:08
  was just can you lay right here and grunt with
• 1:15:10
  your dirty beard. I was like done so If it gets
• 1:15:13
  made into something it'd be cool probably paycheck
• 1:15:16
  wise, but I don't really care because again as
• 1:15:18
  weird as say I did it Like seeing it sit right
• 1:15:21
  there on your shelf is fucking, it's my book.
• 1:15:23
  I'm gonna show the camera real quick. I wrote
• 1:15:25
  a book, so. Dude, yeah, it's epic, you know?
• 1:15:28
  It's like, you guys, oh my god, you guys gotta
• 1:15:30
  get this book. Gotta get the book. Yeah, you
• 1:15:32
  gotta get the book. Well, you don't have to,
• 1:15:33
  but you should. Go to BrantTobler .com. Yeah,
• 1:15:36
  go to BrantTobler .com or you can just hit me
• 1:15:37
  up on Instagram and just, you can Venmo me and
• 1:15:39
  I'll send you an autographed copy. Oh yeah. But
• 1:15:43
  yeah, I mean, I'm proud of it. It turned out,
• 1:15:45
  it's great. It's a good book, so. It really is,
• 1:15:48
  man. And the other one, I got another one. hopefully
• 1:15:50
  coming out within the next month called Diary
• 1:15:52
  of a Piece of Shit. And it's 50 of the craziest
• 1:15:55
  stories you've ever heard. So I think it's going
• 1:15:58
  to be really good. I'm hoping to finish that
• 1:16:00
  one either tonight or tomorrow, and then it'll
• 1:16:02
  go into editing and all that. But yeah, I have
• 1:16:04
  no book deal. I have no book agent. I just do
• 1:16:07
  it all myself. So if you're thinking about doing
• 1:16:09
  something, you should buy my book. Then it hopefully
• 1:16:13
  it'll inspire you like if this idiot can write
• 1:16:14
  a book this good. I could do it I mean it is
• 1:16:17
  really good. Just just let's throw it out there.
• 1:16:20
  Yeah, we've been talking about it like off -camera
• 1:16:21
  We've been talking about the whole time because
• 1:16:23
  it is just I appreciate it. Yeah, that's what
• 1:16:25
  I'm saying. Like this is like That's why you
• 1:16:28
  should do it because you know, it's just looking
• 1:16:30
  at right now. It's like that's my book Yeah,
• 1:16:32
  cool. I did it and once you do something they
• 1:16:34
  could never take it away from you So just do
• 1:16:35
  it, you know, like that was the realization like
• 1:16:38
  that. This is my book. It'll be here forever
• 1:16:41
  Man, you did good, dude. Thank you, man. I can't
• 1:16:43
  wait to see this movie one day. Hey, let's hope.
• 1:16:46
  That's gonna happen. Yeah, let's hope. You know,
• 1:16:48
  that's gonna happen. If you're watching, somebody
• 1:16:50
  watch it. Yeah, yeah, get it. If your uncle makes
• 1:16:53
  movies, if your uncle Spielberg or something,
• 1:16:55
  hit him up. Right. Yeah. Yeah, it's there's so
• 1:16:58
  much. There's so much. I love about it. It's
• 1:16:59
  just thank you It is such everywhere. I'm gonna
• 1:17:01
  finish it tonight like literally like yeah I
• 1:17:04
  need a book report tomorrow from you know, you
• 1:17:06
  got it. You got it I could I could sit there
• 1:17:08
  and talk about it like for a while just because
• 1:17:10
  it just cool me Thank you, man. I mean, I never
• 1:17:14
  dreamed it. Like I said, I never I'd never dreamed
• 1:17:16
  that uh any of this so yeah, this is all cool
• 1:17:19
  You know, so cool. It is very cool, man. Is there
• 1:17:22
  anything, like, before we wrap it up, is there
• 1:17:24
  anything that you want to, like, put out? No,
• 1:17:26
  no. You can just follow me on Instagram. Just
• 1:17:28
  my name at Brant Tobler. If you want the book,
• 1:17:30
  just hit me up on, you can just Venmo me 25 bucks.
• 1:17:33
  I'll just send it right over. There's no, I mean,
• 1:17:35
  you can buy it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, all
• 1:17:37
  that, but then they get all the money. Yeah.
• 1:17:39
  If you want to support, like, an artist, just
• 1:17:42
  hit me up on Venmo or... Brant Brant over .com
• 1:17:45
  or Facebook or whatever and then you can just
• 1:17:47
  fend mommy 25 bucks out of 20 bucks for the book
• 1:17:49
  5 bucks for shipping Shoot me an address and
• 1:17:52
  I'll send it I'll sign one sign whatever you
• 1:17:54
  want on there and send it off tomorrow It is
• 1:17:56
  worth or you can do the audio the audio is good
• 1:17:58
  because I did the audio so which was you know,
• 1:18:01
  which is harder than I ever thought but I did
• 1:18:03
  the audio, so if you like, if you listen to this,
• 1:18:07
  you don't think my voice is too annoying, and
• 1:18:09
  you want to hear the book, you can plow through
• 1:18:11
  the book, put it in your ears and listen to it.
• 1:18:14
  Is the audio book on like audible? Yeah, just
• 1:18:15
  on audible, I think, and maybe, I don't know,
• 1:18:17
  wherever. I'm terrible at business, yeah. If
• 1:18:20
  you Google it, you'll find it. You Google it,
• 1:18:22
  you'll find it. It's true. It's true, man. Yeah.
• 1:18:24
  But dude, thank you so much for coming out. Thank
• 1:18:25
  you, man. Thanks for having me. This is awesome,
• 1:18:27
  man. I really appreciate you. Let's do it again.
• 1:18:28
  We'll have to do it again. Oh, yeah, definitely.
• 1:18:30
  Yeah. Like I said, this other book is full of
• 1:18:33
  wild stories that didn't make the first book.
• 1:18:37
  Okay, we can talk. I love talking comedy. That's
• 1:18:39
  why I love most of time people want to talk the
• 1:18:41
  book or like We didn't really get into my crazy
• 1:18:43
  Vegas life, but man, I love talking comedy. We
• 1:18:45
  can do that anytime Me too, bro. I love talking
• 1:18:49
  calm. I'm always rooting for you now. Yeah, I
• 1:18:51
  kill Tony soon free roll get it Seriously, it's
• 1:18:55
  amazing. And yeah, you'll be on Kiltani too,
• 1:18:57
  brother. Let's do it. All right. Well, that's
• 1:18:59
  it, guys. That's a wrap. Thank you for tuning
• 1:19:00
  in. Get your tickets for December 11th for the
• 1:19:02
  show that's coming up. The lineup will be out
• 1:19:04
  soon. So thank you, guys. Adios.