Latest / Sip Happens / Birth story- Part 1 S2 Episode 8

Transcript

Birth story- Part 1 S2 Episode 8 · Sip Happens

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I'm Alexandra. I am Lynn.
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I'm Rose and this is safe happens.
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We wanted to just give you a heads up, this podcast is all
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for fun and entertainment. We are sharing our own thoughts
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and stories, not professional advice.
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So relax, enjoy and don't take us too seriously.
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Let's get this started. Welcome to Safe Happens.
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What is your account today? Today.
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I am having some protein shake. It's the birthday cake protein.
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Shake. That is a good one.
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That's a good one. So enjoying this, how about you?
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Rosie. That's my favorite flavor,
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having my homemade latte. We're still in saving money on
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coffees outside. Oh yeah, yeah.
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And I'm actually also having coffee from home and I'm trying
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this new cinnamon roll flavor. So we'll see.
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We'll see how that goes. Thank you.
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Well, today's topic, first of all, it is May Already, guys,
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this year is flying. And As for May, we know Mother's
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Day is coming and all the celebration we've had birthdays
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and so forth. So our new topic, we're doing
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something different and we're going to be talking about our
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birth story. So Rosie, yeah.
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Rose is being featured today to share her birth story.
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Oh, right. I'll take it.
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I think you guys had, we had talked about starting from the
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beginning, right? Like how I found out I was
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pregnant. That's right.
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Yeah. That took me a moment.
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Like I remember. But I was like, is it that
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story? That is that story OK.
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Because it's just weird. So of course, it's my first
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pregnancy, so I don't know how to know because I've always been
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a regular, so I wasn't really tracking whatever.
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It's normal for me not to get my period, if that makes sense.
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So what happened was what happened was I'm like, let me
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make sense. I remember that I was craving
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Krispy Kreme doughnuts, but this is really normal for me.
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I would create Krispy Kreme doughnuts, but there was a
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particular doughnut that I really liked, sour cream
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doughnut. I tell my husband I didn't want
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this doughnut today, Let's go pick it up.
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He's like, yeah, yeah, we'll go, we'll go in a little bit.
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He was watching a movie and we waited until the movie finished.
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And then when we finally got, it's about closing time.
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So, you know, when closing time comes, they don't really have a
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big variety of what's leftover, right?
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And the doughnut that I wanted was not available.
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And I was irrationally upset. Irrationally upset.
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Like, you see, this is your fault.
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We should have came here earlier.
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I'm so upset. I was so mad.
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It was a very long flight ride back home.
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I wasn't here yet. OK, OK, OK.
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But it was also a 20 minute drive, so it's a very long drive
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back home. I'm just upset.
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I'm not saying anything. He's not saying anything, of
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course, because he's mad that I lashed out at him.
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And then for some reason, I think it was the next morning,
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I'm like, that was kind of supposedly street.
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I'm looking at this street like why was I so upset?
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But I also felt like a little bit of tenderness in my breaths,
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which is not normal. Like I would never feel that
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with my period. Like I would hear people talk
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about that, but I wouldn't feel it.
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I'm like kind of hurts call my husband.
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I was like might want to bring a pregnancy test later just in
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case. I'm just curious because we
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weren't actively trying like we wanted to have a baby.
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We had decided that that year and Norman home when he bought
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the pregnancy test and I took it.
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It was literally like in the movies, like my eyes opened so
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big and I was like, because I was like, Oh my God, it's how
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positive we pregnant. But the way that I came about, I
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was like, I was just really surprised that that's how I felt
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and that's how I noticed. Like how many tests did you
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take? That was my question.
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How? Many.
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How many tests did you take to believe this positive?
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Two. OK, just two.
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I had taken the one that I had bought was a digital one because
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I thought it was pretty cool. Like it's very simple.
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It's just you're not pregnant, right?
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But then I was like, maybe it's a tech issue.
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It go kit of regular one, which by the way, my best friend would
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always sell me like just get the ones at the dollar store.
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It's like the dollar store. I cannot rely on those right And
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I went to buy the expensive whatever $510 one.
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There's no one that says it the digital one.
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I get it. I can't do just the dollar store
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1. But then I did do that one, I
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think I just tested once more and I was like, OK, it's
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happening. If you can buy.
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Ten of them, just to make sure. I think I think it was good.
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I was just excited with that one.
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What else? I think that was it.
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Just call me the doctor to be like, hey, I had a positive test
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and now I don't know what to do. Not well, we don't how do we
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move forward? Let's go check.
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OK, well, I guess the next question maybe Shanmay would be
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labor and delivery, right? Like how how ready were you when
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it was time to give birth? I thought it was ready.
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I feel like everything was going according to plan.
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And I told it wasn't. I had a pretty smooth pregnancy
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and because I am older, it is considered a geriatric
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pregnancy. Excuse me.
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And I remember that they wanted to schedule inducing after 38
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weeks. I was like, no, I want to go
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fooled her. And then at 38 weeks I was like,
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I really regret that decision, just take it.
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It was so uncomfortable but I just kept moving forward.
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Was scheduled for the 2nd and that day, I remember the day
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before I was just working on things in the nursery and things
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like that. Everything was fine in my mind.
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I'm not going into labor until tomorrow.
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This is scheduled. I haven't been finding any
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Paxton Hicks. I didn't feel any of that.
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So everything was fine. But all of a sudden just, I
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don't know, I started feeling uncomfortable and out of breath
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and very tired. I remember my husband was
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somewhere in the nursery area and I'm like, I don't think you
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should go to work today just in case.
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So I'm not feeling so good. He was doing Uber, so it was
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really flexible. And then all of a sudden I just
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remember just being in the sofa, like like you see in the movies,
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just laying like my mom is hard. Mom was there because she wanted
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to be here when I had the baby. She's like, are you OK?
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I'm like, no, I'm not feeling really good.
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He's like, I'm going to make you some oatmeal.
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You should eat. I think you're going into labor
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today. I was like, but I'm not
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scheduled until this could just be Braxton Hicks.
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It was. So I don't know what Braxton
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Hicks feel like because I've never had them, but they tell
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you that it feels just like you're going to labor.
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So yeah, no, it escalated quickly.
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Like within an hour, the doctor had told me, keep an eye on your
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contractions. Once they're like 5 minutes
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apart, call the office. Within an hour, they were 5
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minutes apart. I called the office and tell
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them this and they're supposed to call me back to confirm if
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I'm going to the hospital. I'm like, OK.
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And we're just pushing through. We're just pushing through
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having these contractions every now and then.
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And my husband and my mom were both like, you really have to go
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to the hospital. Like you are not doing well, I'm
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saying. No, I have to.
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Wait until they call. They told me I have to because
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that's how I am like I follow the rules.
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You saw me for me, guys, it's not part of the plan.
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Yeah, I love it. But then things that they don't
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tell you. I don't know how it was for you
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guys, but I was not really well, so that oatmeal did not sit well
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it. Went it was.
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Oatmeal. It went out.
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It went out. I had so many cramps, like I was
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everywhere, was not feeling well.
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So I'm like, oh, but then I'm also Puerto Rican so I'm like I
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have to take a shower before we go to the hospital because I
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don't know what's going to happen.
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I'm taking a shower and I remember my husband coming in.
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I'm in the shower in a child pulse because I'm in so much
7:20
pain. And he's like, are you OK?
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I'm like, I'm looking for the doctor.
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He's like, we need to go. I was like, I can't so much
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pain. It was hilarious, like in that
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home and it wasn't, but I can just see his face like he's so
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confused. He doesn't know what to do.
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Eventually we go to the doctor when I get well to the hospital.
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Doctor never called. I was like, OK, we need to go.
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We ended up in PR, right? It's I got no.
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It was funny because they look at you like they don't really
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believe you. Did you have that experience?
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Because I walked there. I was like, hey, I think I'm
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going into neighbor. OK, tell me more about when did
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your contract. Yes, sorry.
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Those are like the same questions they asked to make
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sure, you know. Yeah.
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OK. So whenever I got in, which was
8:01
fairly quickly, but in that moment, it just felt like they
8:03
didn't believe me because it had calmed down in that moment.
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I wasn't having a contraction. Yeah.
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But when I went in, I was forced centimeters dilated, which I
8:12
thought was great. I was like, we're halfway there.
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I'm having this thing really, really quick.
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They asked me about the epidural, and I had to come back
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and forth if I wanted it or not. But I did lean into a couple of
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my friends were like, it doesn't make you a hero to go through
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pain. And I was literally like,
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twisting in the bed. It was like, she's like, are you
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OK? Are you comfortable like that?
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Because I'm like, yes, this is comfort.
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They put the epidural, and then I felt everything stopped.
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Oh, down. Everything stopped.
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So I'm like, you guys just slowed the process.
8:41
Yeah. And they're like, no, you're
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still having contractions. They show me the screen.
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It's going up and down, just drugged up.
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Yeah, I'm just sitting there waiting.
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Hubby is sending messages to everyone.
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Everybody's asking. That's another thing.
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Everybody was asking if I was OK.
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They kept checking in. I was like, can they calm down?
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Like why is everybody asking about this?
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I was very naive. I didn't know that you can go
9:02
into serious complications and that's why everybody was asking.
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So I guess ignorance is bliss because I wasn't worried about
9:09
birth. I was like, everything's fine,
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or get AC section, it'll be fine.
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We were there for about an hour and a half and they were like,
9:17
OK, we're going to have to start pushing because that's going to
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wear off. I think the epidural, 2 hours,
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two or three hours, I can't remember.
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I'm like, OK, let's do this. And we're pushing.
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And we were pushing. We were pushing, a lot of
9:29
pushing. Oh my goodness, they put me in
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so many weird positions. They had my husband helping.
9:35
You hold this leg. I'll hold this leg.
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And I believe it was about almost two hours because the
9:40
doctor came at some point and said, OK, if you don't have this
9:43
baby in the next 30 minutes, were you going to have to do the
9:46
vacuum or you're going to get AC section?
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And I was like, no, I do not want any of those.
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So that's where you like pull out of everything that I could
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having this baby. And I remember saying I looked
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at the clock, it was like 8:00-ish was like for having
9:58
this baby by 8:30 because I was like the deadline and I had
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Thiago at 8:30. That's his births or something.
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It was 830. That's the termination.
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I've heard C sections can be so painful for recovery.
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It is a longer recovery, right? And then I I was hesitant about
10:13
the vacuum. Like, I have thoughts about
10:15
that. Anything that you have to grab
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my baby's head and I don't know what's going to happen.
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That that just made me really nervous.
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And I mean, it was nervous for the baby.
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I'm not accepting this. So I get it.
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Yeah. I was like, no, that's not an
10:27
option. So let's get the baby out.
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This is only my first. It was so frustrating because
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she was like, you're so close, but apparently he was sideways,
10:38
so it was hard. So he was getting stuck in my
10:40
pelvis. Yeah.
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The other funny thing was for hours like Oh my God he has so
10:45
much hair. Did you have?
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A lot of heartburn. And I'm like, no, a little bit.
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It's normal. And everybody kept coming in.
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Oh my God, so much here. So everybody's just looking.
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I was like, how are you when you covered or not?
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Of course that I'm just ready. I was like everybody's just
10:58
looking at your somebody get me a blanket or something.
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I I feel very. Violated was the deal.
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Crying. Did you cry?
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I. Did not.
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Cry and I had thoughts about it. I'm like why am I not crying?
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I didn't cry at all. I was elated when like I finally
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got birth and they put him on and then he latched out really
11:15
quickly, which I was really excited because I did want to
11:17
breastfeed and I just felt like elated, just a lot of emotions.
11:21
But and like I'm in a high. I think they told me that he did
11:25
cry, but there was so much going on.
11:27
I didn't just you did not see it looking at the baby, not at the
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I'm sorry, you're OK. I'm over here with my baby, but
11:35
my baby. Somebody just put a blanket and
11:37
it'd be great. We're good, we're good.
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But yes, he did tell me that he did cry.
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He was he's like, he didn't look down there.
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He didn't want to like, look at the whole situation.
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It was a lot going on. It was a lot going on over
11:49
there. That's pretty much my experience
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for birth. Wasn't how I expected, but I
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also didn't have expectations. And I was hoping that it would
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be quick. Two hours, That's quick.
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Two hours pushing. I got there at 11.
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I would say 11:30. So when she says you're 4
12:05
centimeters dilated, I'm like, great, we'll be out of here this
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afternoon. I didn't have them until 8:30
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PM. So I'm like, oh man, that was a
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long day. I'm exhausted.
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I was going to say, nobody tells you that afterwards they keep
12:16
checking on you so you can't rest.
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Doctors and nurses coming in checking out you and the baby.
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Yeah, go to sleep, but outside. How much did you bleed?
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Is it a? Couple.
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Was it less than a cup? They asked you that too.
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I don't know, they asked me. Exactly that all the time.
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They get us that. Maybe it's just jumped out
12:32
jamming nurses. I just remembered I think
12:35
before, maybe that's something you can talk about before you go
12:38
into what did they call it once you have the baby, before you
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get released to recovery? Yes, you have to pee.
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You have to be able to. Oh, yeah.
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And they have to measure that before they can release you.
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So I remember sitting there and I'm like, nothing's coming out.
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And she's like bringing lavender and peppermint and all the,
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like, essential oils. And then she's like, just relax.
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I'm like, how am I going to relax right now?
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When I gave birth, everything came.
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Everything is out. Can you use that?
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And they don't let you drink anything.
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You just reminded me. I was nauseous for the majority
13:08
of that time. And they just kept giving me
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like a little bit of ice chips. And I'm like, I just want to
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puke. So I didn't drink anything since
13:16
the morning. So yes, peeing was difficult.
13:18
Yeah, difficult. I don't remember how long it
13:21
took, but I was like, why? Why does this have to happen?
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And then they kept checking in on you, like with whatever
13:27
they're changing or whatever. Anyways, that part is kind of
13:30
blurry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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OK. But once you were sent to
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recovery and you have the baby and you're with the deal, like
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can back. Can you go back to that feeling?
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Was it more of a like, wow, I did this, I'm done like
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accomplishment or the fierce thing like I'm going to take
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this baby home and figure it out.
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You also had your mom, so maybe that was helpful.
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Mom stayed home. Mom was around, but she didn't
13:53
want to come to the hospital. But I wasn't really upset.
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I really wanted my husband there.
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I wasn't really crowning on my mom being there for Lieber.
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My mom is older, so I don't know she would be there, but she
14:03
wouldn't be like, come on, you could do it.
14:04
If that makes sense. So when we're in the room, I do
14:07
remember being in the bed and Ellie was over there like in
14:10
whatever the seat and baby's over here in the corner and it's
14:13
just looking. I was like, we're family.
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That was what I was this. That's what I was thinking.
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Oh, the other thing that made me really excited, I don't know if
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everywhere does this, but right as I am in the wheelchair with
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the baby walking to well, they're taking a wheel to the
14:28
room. They have like a lullaby saying
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yes, that was so nice. I liked it.
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It was like almost like I'm going to heaven and everybody's
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rejoice and like, I did this. I remember.
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I love that analogy. Yes, I'm not so sweet.
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It was. But yes, once we're sitting down
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just looking, I was like, oh, my God, we're family now.
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Like that's her baby. I wasn't really scared.
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I wasn't feeling accomplished. I was just like, Oh my God, Dad,
14:54
I'm over with that. Like, yeah, yeah.
14:56
The worst part is over. Did you need stitches?
14:59
Yes, I didn't need stitches. And then I feel like that's what
15:03
I was thinking. I was like, there are parts of
15:04
Labor that people do not talk about.
15:06
People talk about how painful it is to have AC section, but I
15:10
didn't feel that People talked about how painful it is to have
15:13
a natural delivery too. I didn't want to pee.
15:16
It was so, so painful, which apparently was normal because
15:20
like just the stretching and all the things, whatever really.
15:23
I cried so many times because I'm like, do I really have to?
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I don't want to drink any liquids.
15:28
But No Fear was more like he now I don't know what to do, right.
15:32
The baby would sleep a lot and he was sleeping and they're
15:35
like, you have to make him latch.
15:37
You have to give him milk and you have to keep him awake.
15:40
And this is how you put in like a football.
15:42
And I kept trying to do it. I'm like, I don't know what I'm
15:46
doing. Baby's not latching.
15:47
I don't know. So it was just like that
15:49
learning curve. I was like, I don't know how
15:51
long it's going to take to figure this out.
15:52
And then he had the bilirubin, right.
15:56
That's that one. Yes.
15:57
What's it? They have another name for that
15:59
yellow. No, the that they need the light
16:01
therapy. Yeah.
16:02
Bilirubin. That's a bilirubin.
16:04
So that also had me concerned, right?
16:06
Because so you just don't know what you're doing.
16:09
Am I doing it right? I went to the doctor so many
16:11
times. I had so many questions.
16:12
I would call the hospital all the time until you figure it
16:15
out. And I was like, oh, OK.
16:16
It wasn't that hard. I feel like they were making it
16:18
seem like really, really big issue.
16:20
But then when I would talk to friends, like, oh, yeah, that's
16:22
normal. That happened to my baby.
16:23
That's fine. He's gonna be fine.
16:24
Like, OK, one thing I'll say is in that moment, all of that
16:28
knowledge or like people's thoughts of like the whole
16:31
process was lack of better word was muted for me.
16:34
Like I didn't like in the moment, I didn't hear it.
16:37
I felt stuck and I couldn't get out of it.
16:40
Like, oh, it's going to get better.
16:41
Because for Omari, he's been kept going high and that's when
16:45
we're hospitalized for like a whole week.
16:47
Like I was released, but we stayed because of him and he had
16:50
to do the light and he's screaming and they're like no
16:53
pacifier. And then the first night he's
16:55
just screaming and then the second I was like, my baby needs
16:58
so he needs to sue. So I remember giving him the
17:00
passive fire and he finally come down and he's just watching this
17:04
baby in the light. Oh, it's awful.
17:06
In the moment, going back, it's like, man, I was so stuck.
17:09
Like I couldn't get past it. But man, was I relieved when
17:12
they're like, OK, you guys are good to go.
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You're good to go home. And I was like, maybe start the
17:16
car before they change. I'm gonna take my baby home.
17:20
So yeah, it's well with Diego. How long were you at the
17:24
hospital for? Well, we got released right
17:25
away. So I think about that.
17:28
So many people stay. And that is and frustrating.
17:31
We stayed I think it was 2 days. Yeah, two days.
17:35
And then we got released because even though it was high, he said
17:38
we have to monitor him. And I think I had to take him to
17:41
the PDA at Russian I believe every day like they would pinch
17:45
just to see. He's like, oh, it's still I
17:46
think it was low and it need to be high.
17:48
I can't really remember. Just pinch every day until it
17:51
finally hit where it needed to be.
17:53
And I don't think I did anything much then just take him out
17:57
episode somebody, I think it was my mother-in-law, take him out
18:00
under the sun at 10 AM, ten to 15 minutes every single day.
18:03
So I had an alarm and I don't miss that.
18:06
Yeah. Went outside sometimes.
18:09
He hated it. And he would cry.
18:11
And then I'm I'm here like concerned.
18:13
I'm just covering his face because I was like, is this even
18:15
good? No sunscreen.
18:17
Like he needs direct impact. Yeah, until they got better and
18:22
a bit freaking. That was awful for me.
18:25
Like, I don't know if Adele did, but when because they had to
18:28
take Oliver, the babies take them away to go get, you know,
18:31
because they don't do everything in the room.
18:33
I was like, you go, I'm fine. I can't move.
18:36
You go and stand at that thing. And I remember like, I think at
18:40
some point, hubby went to get food and that's when the nurse
18:42
came and wanted to take the baby.
18:44
And I followed and I'm standing in the mirror and I see them
18:46
like pranking him and he's screaming and I'm crying.
18:49
And I'm like, this is not OK, This is not good for my this is
18:55
not good. I'm standing right there and I'm
18:58
like, this is not helping. Because you know, you're all
19:00
those stories, all those stories of like how they take your kids
19:04
and stuff. So I'm like, I can't move.
19:06
And then finally they brought him back me and wear soothing
19:09
and hubby comes all comes back and he's like, I got food.
19:12
And I know you did this, but yeah, that pranking every day.
19:17
It's fortunate though, because for you, you were maybe at the
19:20
level where you had to go to the doctors every day.
19:23
But I've also heard stories where people like, Oh yeah, we
19:25
went home and had to come back every day to the hospital.
19:27
So it's like bittersweet because we were honestly, we were there
19:31
for a week. And I've learned so much like
19:33
the whole breastfeeding thing because it's COVID.
19:35
Yeah, babies are COVID babies. I don't know if you did the
19:38
classes, a lot of them were not live.
19:40
So we had to figure it out. And I remember they're like, oh,
19:43
do this, do this position and squeeze.
19:46
And then this nurse is like squeezing my breasts and I'm
19:48
like this hurt. I don't like this.
19:50
I remember her saying his mouth has to.
19:52
Look like a fish? You just, you know, tiny mouth,
19:57
it doesn't look like anything right, But I, I remember the
20:00
football thing. I, I don't, I've never held the
20:03
football. Not a sports fan.
20:06
You got this now, you got this now.
20:08
But once he finally latched correctly, because that's
20:11
another thing, it was so painful.
20:12
I'm still matching. I I have videos like calling my
20:15
best friend like it's like here I can't tell us.
20:17
Anymore it's like just push. Through just push through, it
20:20
gets better and then once it does, it's just so convenient to
20:23
be able to breastfeed. That's this formula.
20:24
And I always tell I was like, I'm so thankful, but I cried.
20:27
So yeah, it was not working out of tears of this whole new
20:33
version of us right as Mamas and breastfeeding whole different
20:36
journeys. It's a lot, but look at us now.
20:39
I was just wondering if you know you, if there was somebody
20:43
listening who's pregnant currently or is planning to have
20:47
a baby, what is something from your experience that you would
20:50
give to the? Person who's about to have a.
20:53
Baby, that's a great question. I feel like we've talked about
20:56
this a lot on the podcast, like Lean on Your People Ask
20:59
questions because I went down a rabbit hole and I was reading a
21:03
lot about pregnancy, but it's a lot of context with a lot of
21:08
lack of relatability, right? Then when I talk to my friends,
21:12
I could understand better and I know, Oh yeah, this is what you
21:14
need to do or this is what you should do.
21:17
I also tell a lot of my friends that are pregnant, like take it
21:21
one step at a time. I was reading.
21:23
Like the whole. Like the whole thing, like, OK,
21:26
month one, this is what happens at month 2.
21:28
And I was like it, it didn't matter because I had all this
21:31
knowledge, but it didn't pertain to my current situation.
21:34
So take it one step at a time, handle the challenges as they
21:37
come versus I was trying to get prepared to be ahead.
21:41
Yes, let me be prepared and I'm going to be on top of it.
21:44
But in the moment, if you're not confronting that issue, you're
21:47
not even remembering what you read.
21:49
So that's for me. And then the relatability with
21:51
my friends and my colleagues, because I don't know, that was
21:55
just once I spoke to her, I was like, Oh yeah, I know exactly
21:57
what's going on, do this or do that.
22:00
And I'm like, OK, so that's my thought process.
22:02
I think I spent a lot of time reading during my pregnancy,
22:04
like I'm going to be prepared and then.
22:06
Once I was. I was with baby.
22:08
I was like, I don't remember anything that I out the door,
22:12
how many hours wasted learning. I could have just been sleepy
22:17
rest, sleep and rest. I was thinking about, oh, I need
22:20
to eat this. I need to eat this because if I
22:22
know you're like that, so I'm sure that you were like in the
22:25
ass of the baby's developing spring and I need to eat more
22:27
salmon. And she said, girl, nobody was
22:30
reading this in the 1800s and they were having perfectly good
22:33
babies. You're just like, but that's why
22:35
they shared the knowledge so that I can take it.
22:37
I know I get it. I was right there with you.
22:39
Oh, it was good there. Maybe, you know, just your body
22:43
knows exactly what it needs to do.
22:44
Your body does know what to do. Talking about that, I just
22:47
remembered that I had a doctor because my anxiety was stressful
22:52
when I didn't feel the baby. Yeah, I had a really tight
22:54
belly. So after like 6 months it, he
22:57
didn't move very much. So I had the doctor all of the
23:00
time checking and there's if I couldn't find the heartbeat,
23:04
like it was like a moment of stress, I would call my husband,
23:06
come here, let's check everything was fine.
23:09
So that's something that I also tell my friends that are anxious
23:13
like me, like just find things that'll help you calm yourself
23:17
because I also know people that stress so much, they go to the
23:20
doctor all the time. And that's not good, right?
23:23
To be stressed about what's going on.
23:24
Like I need something that'll calm my mind so I can keep
23:27
creating this baby healthily and get it to where it needs to be
23:30
with just this beautiful, wonderful world.
23:32
Well, thanks so much for sharing.
23:34
This is great. This is great.
23:36
There will be Part 2 and Part 3. So if you want to hear more of
23:40
our story, stay tuned. Now we want to hear from you.
23:44
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23:46
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