Latest / Your Thoughts Your Reality / Navigating Life After the Military: Overcoming Adversity and Building Resilience with Myron Miller

Transcript

Navigating Life After the Military: Overcoming Adversity and Building Resilience with Myron Miller · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: All right, hello, hello, hello, welcome everybody, family and friends.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Today we have a very special guest.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Super excited to get in a conversation with Myron Miller, very, very much into neurocoding sciences, just like I am, so this is going to be a great conversation.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Myron also just give you a little bit about Myron architectural in his background, construction, real estate and things like that.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: So, myron, why don't you go ahead and start?
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Welcome first of all.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Thank you for being here, honored, and why don't you go ahead and start Welcome first of all.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Thank you for being here, honored, and why, don't you just tell us a little bit about yourself?
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Thanks for having me.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: I'm excited to be here.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: Like you said, my background originally for 30 years I was in architectural design, construction and real estate development, and it's been four years now.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: Four years ago I kind of college and figuring out what they want to be when they grow up.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: Or you know your path in military of.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: You know which direction to go and how to transition from military to civilian life, and it's just that doesn't matter where you're coming from, where you're going.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: It's more of the transition between one to the other and how to handle the pitfalls and hurdles and just the stress that comes along with that process.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Amen.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: And you know we call them the toxic 10, right, or the thieves of our dreams, that, whether you're military or you are just civilian and dealing with life, we all deal with those.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: You know, those themes of our dreams, if you will.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, fantastic, so glad you're here and we're going to go into something a little deeper today.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: We're going to go into more of, you know, the family aspect of it, which is near and dear to my heart and my past, if you will.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: So I just want to preface this with we.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: You know we're giving our thoughts, advice and just opening up a real conversation here that I think is very needed, very needed, and it's going to, you know, open up some vulnerabilities with myself and my story and I'm excited to share that and I think I think it's really important that we discuss this with with the world, you know.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: So Myron came up with this idea.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: We're kind of pivoting from what we were originally going to do and I think it's a fantastic, fantastic pivot, if you will.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: So, myron, why don't you go ahead and start?
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, what, what's your thought process here, with, basically, the parental figure still being involved, and how important that is, Whether they're in the family units, whether they are divorced or separated, but still having some involvement.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: And of course there's different aspects depending on that situation, right, I mean, and that's very important for you to know and understand for yourself whether that situation applies.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: So I just want to preface that, of course, and kind of frame that aspect of it.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: But I agree, I think it's super important.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: I did not have that father figure in my life in that aspect, and I actually had another veteran that came into my life later that you know.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Maybe it wasn't the right fit, but still, you know, I take all of those elements and take the positive out of those, because I believe and we're going to get into this people generally are doing the best they can for who they are, where they are Right and you got to take, you got to take the gold and leave the rest behind, you know, to some aspect.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: So I'm sorry, I kept talking man, go for it.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: No, you're fine and you know we were having that conversation before the show started here and and and kind of kind of a lot of it we kind of touched on.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: But the biggest thing that we have to remember, whether you're, you know, a single mom and doing it on your own, or you're, you know, a father that's deployed and you know when you're deployed and I don't have that background, you do, but from people I've talked to, you don't always have access- and really quick.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Just I want to just make sure everybody understands.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: I actually was not in the military and most people think I am because of my passion and what I do I do it to honor my father and to honor those veterans.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: So I just want to clear that out?
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Absolutely.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Thank you?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, not at all Most people think that's what?
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: if you look back over here that's why I do this there's my dad up there.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and and I kind of have the flip side of the coin of your background is I had a father that was very present, very active in my life, and I had two grandfathers that were there as well, and that's one of the reasons that I have the passion to do what I'm doing is because the time and effort they put into me, plus the knowledge I've gained over the past 35 years of adulthood, I didn't want that to go to waste and not be able to pass it along to as many people as I possibly could, and my passion is just to be able to help all of those that I can that don't have that, and be able to bring some insight and some just light to helping them move past and further and faster as well.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: And so that's kind of real quick my passion and why I do it.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: So we kind of have both sides of the coin here.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: So this should be an interesting conversation we really do, myron, I mean on all parenting and I mean we.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: We just had a really great conversation off the air that I wish we would have had on the air.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: Well, we'll see what we can do to replicate it.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: But, but you know, it all boils down to one recognizing, acknowledging where you're at, what your abilities are and what your your strengths are, but also understanding what your weaknesses are and things that you need to work on and overcome.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: And there's nothing wrong with where you are and there's nothing wrong with not being where you want to be.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: I mean, I kind of live the thing of if I'm actually where I want to be and I've achieved everything, I don't have anything else to live for at that point.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: You know, it's like what we're always growing, we're always trying to get better.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: We should always be trying to improve ourselves.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: So the biggest thing is just figuring out what your start point is and where you're at, and whatever that is, it's okay.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: You know now.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: You know where you are Now.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: You know what you're good at, what you need to work on, what you need help with, and you know a lot of that is just identifying that and then finding the help reaching out, talking to people, whether it's a friend, a family member, a coach or you know anybody.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: It's just finding that.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: You've got to find your baseline.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: You got to find your point to start.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Amen, I love that and in fact my wife just said amen.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: So, I guess tell us your thoughts, if you will, on how do you find your baseline?
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: Because, isn't that?
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: And I know for me, I've got a long story, man, and no one's got time for it today.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: You'll, over the next 10 years, in this podcast, you guys will learn all of my story.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: But I, you know, was raised without a father, right?
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: I had people come into my life, you know.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: again, I talked about another veteran, alcoholism, you know, drug abuse, violent, all those things.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: So I that was my experience as growing up until my mom finally, you know, decided that was enough and and went on and had her life, if you will.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: And again, everybody's doing like I said, the best they can when they can, how they can, in a sense.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: And so even in my own life I take it the same way.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: So how do you find that baseline when?
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Where is that baseline?
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: Because I'm always trying to improve and I know you are as well and most people, I think, that are progressing in life and are happy are trying to improve.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: Where do you think the baseline is?
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: How do you?
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: How do you really know?
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: And that's that's a, a, that's a tough one, I know.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: I'm throwing at you right now, myron well, I, there's a process that I use and I kind of took this from a couple of different resources, but I I call it the I am.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: I have the I am process and basically, and I actually have a forum that I made up for it, that I give out when I do speaking and stuff, but it's basically you just take a piece of paper and you do divide it in half and you have a positive column and a negative column and then you write down I am and everything you can think of that you are, that's positive, and then you do the same thing with the negative.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: But I mean this process you got to dig down and be honest with yourself and it's you're writing it for yourself.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: It doesn't matter what is on the paper, as long as you're honest about what you're putting on the paper.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: And then, once you have your positives and your negatives, then the next step is who's with you when you're each one of those different people?
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Explain that a little bit more, if you will.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: So and I'm just going to use a couple of off the cuff examples.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: But you know, if, if you know I am a veteran, okay, use that one to start with.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: And you know that that can be, that one can go in either column, depending on how you feel and where you are, you know.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: And then who are the people around you when you're that person physically, who are the people that are around you with it?
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: You know I am a father.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: For me I'm a father, so the people around me are my wife and my kids.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: You know, you know I.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: And then you know another one could be, and I know this.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: You know there's substance abuse is really prevalent in in veterans and stuff, and you know.
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: So you know I am an alcoholic.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: You know who's with you when you're an alcoholic, you know.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: Or you know, you know on the positive side, I'm a husband, your wife's, with you, you know.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: Or you know, if you're just a dad and it's a separated family and you're a dad who's with, well, you're with your kids in that point.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: And it's just kind of breaking it down and then just taking each one and really thinking who's around you when you're in that headspace for each thing, and what that that.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: That does a couple of things.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: One, it kind of helps you dive in and see where you are and a lot of times I find, when people do this process and they'll say you know, and a good one example to use is, I am a veteran and they'll put it in the negative column, but then you start working on things and going through the process and eventually that'll move over yes, the positive, over, yes, the positive side.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, and I was going to bring that up because a lot of veterans and again I work with veterans in transition especially is my, is my passion they don't realize all the skill sets they actually have for employment or their own business or leadership and all these things that are so important to the world.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: So I'm glad you brought that up.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, leadership and all these things that are so important to the world.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: So I'm glad you brought that up.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and a lot of times.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: The simple way to do that is, if there's something on the negative that should be on the positive, who's around you then?
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: And if those people are around you and they're keeping you in a negative space, you need to change your circle.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Amen, you know if you're a veteran and it's in the negative and you're an alcoholic and you're having all these problems and the bar on Friday night and you don't want to be an alcoholic anymore.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: Okay, maybe we need to change the people we're hanging out with on Friday night.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: You know, and it's just it's a process to really just help you get it all on paper.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: You know, joseph always says what we write, we invite and, and you're writing it all down and then it's right there in front of you and keep that piece of paper and track it.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: You know where am I at.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: You know what and this is a Tony Robbins reference but you know there's two millimeter shifts and just we all get so frustrated and struggling with this is wrong.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: I need to fix it now and I've got to do all of this stuff to fix it and it just becomes overwhelming because you can't do it all in a day, a week, a month, a year, absolutely that little step every day that you're moving towards shifting the process is where you actually gain the most ground.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, and I use that same perspective when I'm coaching or doing trainings.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: Speaking, whatever the case may be is, if you're on a ship and you move that wheel two degrees, where's your destination going to be Way different than it was before.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: It's taking that courage to do that right Is make that little change, and how much will that change and alter your life and the people around you.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Maybe you stop hanging around with that one friend who's taking you out every Friday night, like you're talking about.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Create a new circle and let me just say this veterans and veterans, families and everybody else find people that surround you that lift you up.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Don't be the smartest guy in the room or woman in the room.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Find people that make you want to be better for yourself, because that's the only person that can change your trajectory.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: That two degrees, two percent, whatever you want to call it right.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: So I just I just wanted to throw that in there.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: It's funny.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: You mentioned that.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: I got all the basketball references and you know, if you play basketball every time and you're the best guy on the court, you're not going to get any better.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: You got to challenge yourself.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: You got to.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: You got to change your circle and step it up, you know, to help you elevate.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: So this has been really really great information, and if you guys do this and of course, myron, there's a lot more to it as far as you know, creating the new.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: You, myron, you want to talk a little bit more about the process and then we'll move on to something else.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: As far as your list and then kind of what you take from that, so the main thing is you know again, like we said, identifying your baseline and where you're at and then the next step is what you just said is, you know, change the people around you and elevate your circles, because you're, you're, you're going.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: If you hang out with three people, you're going to be the fourth of whatever it is you're doing, no matter what.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: It is good, bad and different.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: You're going to adapt to your surroundings and become whatever your surroundings are.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: You know, if you hang out with three millionaires, you're probably going to become the fourth forth.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: You know, I mean, it's, it's, it doesn't matter what.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: What the topic is or what you're trying to do is is is change your surroundings.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: And you know success leaves clues, whether it's mental, physical, emotional, financial.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: Find somebody that's done it.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: It doesn't, and you don't have to know them personally.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: You don't even have to interact with them personally.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: With with technology and the way things we have now, you can find out a lot about anybody that you want to.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: So find a person that has done what you want to do, has been through what you're trying to go through, and then emulate them, talk to them, research them, follow the cookie crumbs to where it leads.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: It'll take you there.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and what I found, myron as well, is a lot of people that are successful and they, they love helping, right and giving back and they want to see other people rise.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: So don't be surprised, be a little brave, be a little bold.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: As we say right, reach out, ask to talk to somebody.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: I can't tell you how many people in the construction industry you know we again, we own multiple businesses in the construction industry and so forth that have reached out and said, hey, how do you start?
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: And I love helping people.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: You know the right people that I know that are going to do the right things and be a good contractor or whatever the case may be.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: I'm going to help them all day long.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: So you know, reach out and you know, of course, as Myron said, internet there's so many options, but also sometimes go have coffee with that person.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: You know if, if, if he's accessible or she's accessible, it's, it makes both of you rise, if you will.
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: It makes both of you rise, if you will.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: It's funny you mentioned coffee.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: Coffee has been probably the catalyst for more things for me than anything I can help of, whether it's personal relationships, business relationships, whatever is just having a cup of coffee with somebody.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: It really just gives you a nice neutral ground to talk and ask questions.
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: And you know, the other thing is, don't be afraid to be vulnerable, and especially if the person you're talking to is somebody that you want to emulate or want to learn from.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: You got to be vulnerable and deal with PTSD or any of those things as guys we're wired to.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: I can fix it myself.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: I can do it.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: I'll just power through it and do it.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: It doesn't always work.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: I mean, you can do it, but that's the hard way to do it and just being vulnerable and just say, hey, I need some help with this.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know what I found, myron, thank you for bringing that up.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: It's fantastic.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: So, with military and I I talked to a lot of military people.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: Obviously it's my passion.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: So what I found, of course, is they're conditioned.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: People have heard me say this Don't ask for help, don't figure it out yourself.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: You know they're conditioned for strength and for a reason right.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: It saves their lives and the guy next to them or the woman next to them.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: It saves their lives.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: There's a reason for it.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: So what if being vulnerable was actually not a weakness and it was actually harder and made you stronger?
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: Because in my life that's the case.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: I cannot think of a time of when I made myself vulnerable, that it didn't take a lot of strength and a lot of effort and a lot of courage just to be able to say I need help.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's that if, if.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: If somebody comes to me and says I need help one, I take that as a compliment that they look at me to be someone that can actually provide something that they need for them.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: But also, you know, I always recognize the strength and courage it took just for them to say that.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: You know, because it's not a weakness, it does not show weakness, it does show strength and courage to be able to do it, because, and especially for guys and military and all that, you're just wired not to do that.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: So to kind of come off the path and go okay, I need help.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: That's a huge strength right there.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: It is, and God forbid, we ask for directions.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: You know, I got to just say man, right now.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you to GPS man.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I still have to turn off the voice because I can't have them tell me directions.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: I have to be able to look and find them myself.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: But they're there, but they don't give them to me.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: So I'm looking for it.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: I love you, man.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: And hey, talk about being vulnerable, to just say that.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: So I'd like to kind of circle back, if we can to because we're talking about vulnerability, right, and if we can circle back to being parents and whether you're in the household or you are divorced or separated or whatever the case may be, how important it is and again, in most cases there's always toxicity and as a parent, guardian, whatever the case may be, you need to make those decisions for yourself, obviously, so we're not telling anybody what to do, how to do it or anything else.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: So what have you seen Because I know you've done research and this is really your niche, right, for not necessarily veterans specifically, but I think it works the same for veterans and so on what have you found in the research that you know and have seen personally that helps when parents are involved, the right parents, obviously, right.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: Well, first, it all goes down to what we were talking about earlier is the baseline of where each parent is is the baseline of where each parent is and both parents realizing where the other parent is and accepting that that's where they're at.
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: And as a parent, it's your job to do the best you can with where you are.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: Now, that is going to vary, extremely different depending on the individual, and you know some, like we were talking about earlier.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: Some individuals need a structure of.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: This is what we're doing and this is how we're doing it.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: But some people can't handle a structure like that.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Some people can't handle even something as simple of okay, this is what we're doing on Saturday, three weeks from now, and it's just where they're at.
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: It doesn't work.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: And finding a common ground and finding a common ground, whether you're an intact family and I mean as an intact family you still deal with these things because one person has work or they have this or whatever the issues are.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: It's both parents understanding what the other one's baseline is and accepting that as where they are and then working together to elevate both parents and the.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: The biggest thing is when you go through your iam statement and you kind of set your base, your baseline and understanding what it is, making the conscious effort of showing up in some way or fashion for your kids and whatever that is for you right now, even if it's doing a handwritten note and dropping it in the mail, if you're not in, if it's not an intact family, you're not present, but just write it.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: Take five minutes and write a note and send it to the kid, to your kid you know, in the technology world we live in now.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: You know my kids are in the house here and I text them and they text me.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: It's like you're three doors down but you know we're going to talk by a phone, you know.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: But but just having that interaction, whether it's a text message, a phone call, a letter or you know, just you don't.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: Or you know fancy dinners or fancy toys or gadgets or electronics, take them to the park for the day and just be there.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: You know it's going to the park is free, it doesn't cost you anything.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: It's just you being present, in whatever format.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: You being present in whatever format, whatever location, whatever it is, and at the best of your ability for where you're at.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: That is the foundation of starting, is that?
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that, I love that.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: So, with that said, you've again done research and I know we could talk about this.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: We're almost done here, but I could talk about this for another three hours.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: I keep saying that with all my guests.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: But what have you seen and I know my own situation what have you seen as some of the negative effects of not having both family, parents or parental figures, again in the right situation?
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: We're being very careful of this, everybody, in case you haven't noticed in the right situation we're being very careful of this, everybody in case you haven't noticed but in the right situation, what have you seen being the negative effects?
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: I mean the negative effects, and I mean I was doing some research yesterday and there was a combination of 12 different studies.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: But you know it has effect on the child's adulthood mental health when they reach adulthood.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: You know it definitely has emotional problems and difficulties that they will deal with as a child and as adult.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: You know they're more likely to smoking and drugs and alcohol abuse, more likely for psychological disorders, increased antisocial behavior, I mean.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: So there's definite impact on the children of not having a role model, whether it's male or female, because the thing about it is kids, they're going to find a role model.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: Whether it's male or female, because the thing about it is kids, they're going to find a role model regardless.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: You know, between the ages of like five and eight years old they're going to find a role model.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: Where that role model is a positive or negative Doesn't matter, they're going to find one.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: The key is either a, you be that role model or B if you know you can't do it, and that's okay is you surround yourself with people that can kind of fill that void and until you can get to that point to step in and take care of it from that point forward to that point, to step in and take care of it from that point forward.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: So, myron, would you also say if you're not in the place to be a positive role model?
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Because, again, in those age groups they're going to how do I say this?
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: They're really developing who they're going to be right Between from birth to around that, seven, eight years old.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: From my knowledge and I'm not, you know, psychiatrist, psychologist or therapist but that's when their personality is developed and then they get around the other people and, you know, in school and of course.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: Then, of course, high school happens right and at high school, for the most part, it feels like we're done as parents, you know.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, they're getting around everybody else, but we're not right.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: It feels like it, though, right.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: So what are some other positive role models?
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: If you don't have them in your life, would you say sports, get on sports teams and keep them engaged in those kinds of positive activities, moving forward.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: Sports is a great one.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, there's all kinds of extracurricular activities that you can involve your kids in.
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: The one piece of advice that I give and parents don't realize they can do this, but you can is make sure you interview the coaches before you sign your kids up.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: Wow, and make sure the coach is the person you want to be the role model for your kids.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: You know, make sure the coach is guiding the kids in the direction you want your child to go.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: And I've had several clients that thought they were doing good involving their kids in sports and then to find out the coach has a total different belief system than they have and you know the difficulties that cause.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: So interview the coaches, interview the teachers, interview you know, whatever, whatever you're involving your kids in whoever the person's responsible for it, interview them, talk to them.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: You know, what do you, what you know, and it doesn't have to be a rigorous thing, but at least have a conversation with them to get an idea of who they are and what beliefs they have and what direction that they want the kids to go into.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: Wow, wow, myron, seriously never thought about that.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: In fact, my wife I just popped that up Never even thought of that as an option.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: That is an amazing nugget right there.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: That is a gold nugget.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: Know who your kids are going to be around, because they're going to influence them and you can, and it doesn't going to be around because they're going to influence them.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: And you can and it doesn't have to be.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: You're going in with an application.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: You get a feel for people in what five minutes of hanging around them.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: Or less.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: And you know we talked about earlier coffee.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: It's a great thing, you know.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, that's fantastic man.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: Thank so, we're, we're pretty, we're already over time.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: So, um, myron, thank you so much, you know, for for being here.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: Uh, you know, uh, myron, with with miller minded, this is his specialty, guys, I brought him on here for a reason you know.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: He's respected.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: He works in the schools.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: He's working with exactly exactly the people that we're talking about.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: You know these kids and he's just an amazing asset.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: So, myron, will you tell people how to reach you?
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: If they want to reach you outside of here, obviously, how do they get a hold of you?
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn under Miller Minded.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: They get ahold of you.
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm on Facebook, instagram and LinkedIn under Miller Minded.
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: You can look at me, find me there, research me there and, you know, send me a message contact me there and I'll be happy to to connect and see what we can do.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: Seriously, man, I got my own gold nuggets out of this and we're going to talk off here and maybe we'll have you back two or three more times because we have a lot more to go through here and maybe we'll have you back two or three more times because we have a lot more to go through.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: I think this and I hope I pray for that matter this has been valuable for people out there.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: It's been valuable for me and, as I always say to everybody, you know, most important resource, most valuable resource we have as humans, is the time.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: Thank you for spending going on 34 minutes with us.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: It's an honor and truly, and I'm sure.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: I can say this for Myron as well.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: We appreciate you taking the time, I appreciate you having me here and appreciate everyone watching.
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: Absolutely All right, everybody, thank you.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: And on Monday's episode we have retired Lieutenant Colonel Tina Parker, one of my good friends.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: Excited to have her on as well.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: So check us out.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: Everybody.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: Have an amazing weekend, thank you.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: Catch you on the next episode.