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Transcript

With Stugotz & Hoch: The Chuck Norris Episode · Stugotz and Company

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: With Stu Gotts and Hawkmann.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Many many people have been looking forward to this retrospective
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: of Chuck Norris from his time on The LeBatard Show.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: Now, we didn't know we were going to do with.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Chuck Norris episode regardless, but obviously he passed away last
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: week at the age of eighty six, so we uh.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: We moved it up in the in the schedule.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: But on the on the show, we had mythologized Chuck
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Norris for weeks, maybe months, those Chuck Norris facts. This
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: was before things went viral. Yes, like, how did that
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: get viral?
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: I think that Chuck Norris facts had been around for
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: a while. We just you know, we saw them. We
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: loved Chuck Norris. We started reading some on the air,
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: people started calling in with their own, and it just
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: kind of took a life of its own. It took
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: on a life of its own, and we were having
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: so much fun with it. And then the obvious end
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: goal was to get Chuck Norris on the air and
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: read some of these to it.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: You know, correct, we wanted Chuck Norris on the air.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Did did you were you Taylor? Do you remember the
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Chuck Norris facts or you were too young. That had
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: to be when I guess like five and six.
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that was once I started getting into the internet,
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: like Superman Wars, Chuck Norris pajamas.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Right, I'm just looking at Wikipedia Chuck Norris facts.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to figure out.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: When, says Chuck Norris facts originally appeared on the Internet
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: in early two thousand and five, though jokes surrounding Norris's
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: toughness and strength are claimed to have existed since the
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: nineteen eighties. But the facts were going viral before there
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: really was any virality, and we were we were reading
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: them constantly on the show. And I remember, you know,
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: Dan kept saying, we got to get Chuck Norris on
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: the show, like we have to have Chuck Norris on
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: the show.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:57
  Speaker 6: It was the obvious payoff to what it is we
• 1:59
  Speaker 6: were doing.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Yes, my son's calling me. Maybe he wanted to add
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: in a Chuck Norris fact.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: So we talked, Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: his steak.
• 2:12
  Speaker 7: Right, I mean, but like we love badasses on the show, yes,
• 2:17
  Speaker 7: because we're not right, right, Yes, so we loved badasses
• 2:22
  Speaker 7: and Chuck Norris was you know, I think I mentioned
• 2:25
  Speaker 7: it in our last pod. But it was like there
• 2:26
  Speaker 7: was a moment in time where Jean Claude, von Dom,
• 2:30
  Speaker 7: Chuck Norris, Steven Segal. Right, that was like the triumvirate
• 2:34
  Speaker 7: of badasses.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm looking. So we had him on the Levatar Show.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: I think people thought that we had him on more,
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: But we had him on on the Levatard Show twice.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: From my calculations, the first time was February seventeenth, two
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: thousand and six, right, and the second time was November
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: of two thousand and six.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: But this was I mean a lot of effort to
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: get Chuck Norris to appear on the show.
• 3:06
  Speaker 6: People need to understand, Hawk.
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: We spent most of the time, most of the four
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: hours we had for nearly a month, building up Chuck Norris,
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: reading Nick doing the Chuck Norris stuff, people calling in,
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: inventing their own. We built this guy up so big,
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: and now we're eventually going to get him on. And
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: I'm telling you you and I discussed this with Dan
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: all the time. Appointment listening was so important. This was
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: appointment listening, like if you were at work, you got
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: to a radio and you listened to this interview.
• 3:37
  Speaker 6: Because we had built it up for such a long time.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: By the way, do you guys hear the hammering that's
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: going on in my house?
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: No?
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: No, okay, you know I used to be crazy about
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: ambient noise, and I'm not any longer. But they're literally
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: I have four construction workers in the house right now,
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: but also the building is working on the roof at
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: the same time, so I am experiencing a cacophony of noises. Yes,
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: and yes, the old Mark Hawkman would be canceled the pod,
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: cancel the taping.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: I'd probably go around yelling at people, even though it's
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: not their fault. They're just getting their job. And now
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: I don't give a shit.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: Yes, well, now, as you pointed out many many months ago,
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: you could shoot video with a plane flying buy and
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: the kids don't fucking care.
• 4:24
  Speaker 6: Just give me content, So you're good. It's bothering you.
• 4:26
  Speaker 6: It's not bothering anyone else.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: As long as you guys aren't hearing it or aren't
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: bothered by it. And the truth is, I don't make
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: a dime off this podcast, so who the fuck cares?
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: You get what you want?
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: My wife used to say to my son, you get
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: what you get, and you don't get upset. But of
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: course if he didn't like the meal that we gave him,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: we gave him a different one, and if he didn't
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: like that one, we'd go get him a different one,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: and then finally we would just end up at McDonald's just.
• 4:49
  Speaker 6: To make them stop right.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: Terrible parenting in hindsight, terrible parenting.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: If you want a podcast without incess and hammering, no one,
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: here's it.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: So order a.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Cameo from me and stugatts on cameo. Any more cameos
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: we sell, the more money I make. Maybe I'll take
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: this more seriously. Speaking of money and sponsors, I appreciate
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Dec eighty four and Burton Maxes. Laurie and I went
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: to Deck eighty four on Saturday night and we had
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: fish dip. Dec eighty fours on Atlantic Avenue in Delray
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Beach and we had fish dip. And you know Buddha,
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: he runs Burton Maxes, but also they own Deck eighty four,
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: the Rapidport group.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: Fish dip.
• 5:36
  Speaker 6: You like fish dip, not really. I like their Spindach
• 5:39
  Speaker 6: tip though it's great.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: So good. They have good spinis dip.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: The fish dip is so good, but it comes with
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: all these pickled vegetables, and I love pickled vegetables.
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: I mean, you're really tapping into things I don't like
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: fish and vegetables.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: Yes, I mean I was never that guy either. As
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: you get older, though, like I like Coleslaw now, really
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: a young person ever likes Coleslaw literally like the starting
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: age of even considering eating the little tin of goals law.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: Usually it's like starts at forty yes, and now at
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: fifty six, I'm like, yeah, you know what, hold the fries?
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Can you double up on the Coleslaw right now?
• 6:14
  Speaker 6: Is that a hell thing? Or is your palette change?
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: But the palette changes?
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 6:18
  Speaker 6: Yeah, It's weird.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: You get older and you're like, oh, Coleslaw, that sounds delicious, right.
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: I swore I never have Coleslaw in my life, and
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: now it's all meating. I'm bathing in Goleslaw. I will
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: tell you that happened to me with sushi. I mean it,
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: I'm a big sushi eater. Now I like sushi, yes.
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: Hawk, what about lemon pepper wings?
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I had Obviously you've been listening to the show,
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: so we do the show.
• 6:39
  Speaker 6: We're like, it's on during our show.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: I mean, I got a long drive home.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: I'm always amazed when I got a text from him
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: at like three forty five going that segment was funny
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: as shit.
• 6:50
  Speaker 6: Geez, don't you mind right now I'm speaking.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: So we're doing the show.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: I tell Crowder I was at Gulf Stream Park and
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: then had they you know, they just give us as
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: much food as we want because we do the show
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: up in the restaurant there. We do a show there
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: twice a year at gul Stream and ten Palms. They
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: throw it down for us, and they brought us wings.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: I'm just eating the wings. Mm, this is a good wing.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Why does this wing taste so good?
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: And crowds like those are lemon pepper wings and I go,
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: I've never had one before.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: Well, and he's like, how is it possible that you've
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: never had a lemon pepper wing?
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Because we talk about it all the time, you know,
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: lou Williams goes to Magic City in Atlanta, and everybody
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: always raves about legend the lemon pepper.
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: Wings and uh.
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: For that place, and they the reason that.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I had never that's right, the reason that I had
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: never had lemon pepper wings.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: I don't like lemon and I don't like.
• 7:48
  Speaker 6: Pepper m that's problematic.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Yes, as I get older, the things that I didn't like,
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: I think perhaps I like.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Because you know, there's an Italian.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Beef place in Chicago called Portillo's, but they've got one
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: now in Orlando and a couple in Tampa or whatever.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: The best thing on the Portillo's menu is lemon cake.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: But I don't like lemon. But this lemon Cake's the
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: best fucking thing I've ever eaten in my life. And
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: now I find myself ordering things that have lemon involved
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: in it. And now I'm a huge fan of lemon, pepper, wings.
• 8:21
  Speaker 6: And lemon. It seems like in general, yeah.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: I'm all about lemon and pepper. Who knows.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: You give me some lemon, pepper and coleslaw. I'm the
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: happiest motherfucker in Boca Ratone.
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: I just gave him his wheelhouse of chet lemon, and
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: he gave me nothing.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: I do love it. I did love Chet Lemon.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: I was convinced when I was growing up in Chicago,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: die hard White Sox fan, I said, when I'm of
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: age to have a child, yes, I'm naming my child
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Chet if I have a boy, because I love Chet Lemon.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: War Number forty four for the White Sox Great.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: I said I'm gonna name my first child Chet, and
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: then guess what happened? But as I continued to grow up,
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: the movie Weird Science came out. Yes, and the douchebag
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: brother his name was Chet. He was a total douchebag.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Remember she turned him into a monster at the end.
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, so Chet went from from a good thing
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: in your heart to a.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: Terrible person right all of a sudden.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: I could never have a blubbering douchebag kid named Chet.
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: Was your kid's the big winner? Perhaps you didn't want
• 9:30
  Speaker 6: the name Chet anyway?
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: Fiship?
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: You know I enjoy the fish dip at dec eighty
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: four and pickled vegetables. All right, here we go back
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: to the Chuck Norris, So go to Dec eighty four,
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Go to Birdsbases, order a cameo from me and Stegotts.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Follow me on Instagram if you want to hear something
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: on this podcast, it's radio Mark Hackman on Instagram.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: Just DM me.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: I've got a million dms since our little mini pod
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: the other day.
• 9:52
  Speaker 6: Do you think your way? Do you think that's normal?
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: As you get older the palette changes, because if so,
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: it like, not for me. I'm still eating fucking sh
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: chicken palms, bacon, cheeseburgers, omelets with bacon, cheese and onions.
• 10:04
  Speaker 6: Like, I'm still eating the same crap I'm always eating.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Now, I think your palette changes. I think the things
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: that maybe you didn't find appealing you do the thing.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: There are certain things you just you're like tired of eating.
• 10:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm fifty six.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: I've had this enough.
• 10:18
  Speaker 6: Everything's a fucking hassle, even eating, I mean.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Kind Anyway, here's Chuck Norris. So we had mythologized him
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: for months. This was, like you said, appointment listening. There
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: were people who were looking forward to this. I remember
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: the countdown Chuck Norris going to be on tomorrow. We
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: had reimaged the station to call it the Chuck Norris Show.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Here is the start of the first interview. This is
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: February seventeenth, two thousand and six.
• 10:49
  Speaker 8: You're listening to the Chuck Norris Show. Here's Chuck Norris,
• 10:53
  Speaker 8: some sports talk seven nineties Chuck Norris.
• 10:58
  Speaker 9: All right, so he's online us, or I should say Jesus,
• 11:01
  Speaker 9: I started wrong already. We're on the line with Chuck Norri.
• 11:05
  Speaker 9: We're his guests are bad, and the Chuck Norris is
• 11:08
  Speaker 9: with us. Hello Chuck, Hello Dan.
• 11:10
  Speaker 10: I've always wanted the Chuck Norris show. I always wanted
• 11:12
  Speaker 10: my own radio show, and now I finally got it.
• 11:15
  Speaker 11: Yeah, I'm sorry that we didn't give it to you earlier.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Had m Sir?
• 11:20
  Speaker 11: You can have the stations, don't just don't don't roundhouse
• 11:24
  Speaker 11: kick us. All right, we've got your list.
• 11:26
  Speaker 10: How about off the balcony?
• 11:28
  Speaker 9: No, no, don't roundhouse kick me off the balcony.
• 11:31
  Speaker 6: Where is that?
• 11:32
  Speaker 9: Okay, I'm sorry I spoke to you that way, Chuck Norris.
• 11:35
  Speaker 9: All right, we've got your favorite twenty facts. Now you
• 11:38
  Speaker 9: you get a kick out of this thing. You've seen
• 11:40
  Speaker 9: all these.
• 11:40
  Speaker 10: Fats too, Yeah, I really do. You know? A lot
• 11:42
  Speaker 10: of the college gets emailed me their uh you know,
• 11:45
  Speaker 10: their little Chuck Norse facs, and a lot of them
• 11:47
  Speaker 10: are hilarious. I tell you, my wife and I we
• 11:50
  Speaker 10: we just get a kick out of them. We read
• 11:52
  Speaker 10: them and we just you know, and a lot of
• 11:53
  Speaker 10: them are really really funny. A little out there, but
• 11:56
  Speaker 10: a lot of them are very funny.
• 11:57
  Speaker 11: All Right, we've got your list of top twenty.
• 12:00
  Speaker 9: I'd like to get your favorite before we get started
• 12:02
  Speaker 9: with our own nominees here. But contrary to popular belief,
• 12:05
  Speaker 9: America is not a democracy. It's a Chuck tatorship. How
• 12:10
  Speaker 9: does your wife feel about Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa
• 12:14
  Speaker 9: that smile. She knows better than most, doesn't she.
• 12:19
  Speaker 10: She laughed at that.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: One too, very polite. Yes, we used that laugh in
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: a million things. Of course, that fake used it in
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: a lot of things. But here is the screw up
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: that has been played a thousand times since.
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: Wait, so is this the first interview or the second
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: interview with Chuck Norris?
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know, but I know that when it comes
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: I couldn't figure it out, but I know when it
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: comes to the Chuck Norris interviews, this is the most
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: memorable part of it.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: And I wanted to get it out of the way early.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, go ahead and play it, Taylor. So this is
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: I mean, everyone knows, this is all right.
• 12:58
  Speaker 9: We're going to see whether the any of these here
• 13:01
  Speaker 9: can crack Chuck Norris's top ten. Now, your favorite involves
• 13:05
  Speaker 9: the Troanosaurus Rex. You want to do yours?
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that.
• 13:09
  Speaker 12: Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrantosaurus Rex. The rex was
• 13:13
  Speaker 12: not chasing the jeep in Jurassic Park.
• 13:17
  Speaker 11: Way to screw that up, I kind of blind sid
• 13:19
  Speaker 11: were thrown. That's my fault. What it was wait to
• 13:21
  Speaker 11: deliver that one. Goodness start that way.
• 13:26
  Speaker 6: So ha. There were two interviews.
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: The way I recall this is that was the first
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: interview with Chuck Norris. Dan was very, very nervous. You
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: know this, Dan a great interviewer, never threw it to
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: me for the first question. And yet this time he decided, Hey,
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: Chuck Norris is on the line. This has been built
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: up for weeks. He knows it's appointment listening. He's a
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: little bit nervous, and he throws it to me for
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: the first question. And I quite simply was not prepared.
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: Now I could have handled it better, but I simply
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: wasn't prepared.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Play it one more time, real quick, Taylor, because I
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: mean it literally makes no sense what Stu gott says.
• 13:59
  Speaker 9: No, all right, we're gonna see whether these any of
• 14:02
  Speaker 9: these here can crack Chuck Norris's top ten. Now, your
• 14:06
  Speaker 9: favorite involves the Trontosaurus Rex.
• 14:08
  Speaker 11: You want to do yours?
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 14:09
  Speaker 12: That, Uh, Chuck Norris was chasing the Torontosaurus Rex. The
• 14:15
  Speaker 12: Rex was not chasing the jeep. Okay in Jurassic Park.
• 14:19
  Speaker 12: Way to screw that up? I kind of blind tied
• 14:20
  Speaker 12: to know your throw. That's my fault.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: What it was?
• 14:23
  Speaker 11: Wait, wait to deliver that one? Goodness that way.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: I think it is the first interview, and I think
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: was Dan didn't have his notes like in front of him,
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: so instead of just saying, let me see what I
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: have here, which would have been a more casual way
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: to do it, yeah, oh, those are some of the
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: ones you like.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: Okay, now let me see what I have here?
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: You know, instead he banked on me for having the
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: first question and nailing it.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: Yes, but here, very very rarely remembered, Dan screws up.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: I think, maybe just as badly as you listen to
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: what he delivers to Chuck Norris.
• 14:55
  Speaker 9: Here, Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong had a contest to
• 15:00
  Speaker 9: see who had more testicles.
• 15:02
  Speaker 11: Lance Armstrong lost by five.
• 15:05
  Speaker 10: No. I don't like that one either.
• 15:06
  Speaker 11: Yeah, okay, so Chuck Norris is serious. We do not
• 15:08
  Speaker 11: mean to displease you, mister Norris.
• 15:10
  Speaker 9: Now listen, Chuck Norris can read braille.
• 15:16
  Speaker 10: No, no, jeez, I haven't heard these These are new
• 15:22
  Speaker 10: ones for me, right.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: So there's a reason he hasn't heard that Chuck Norris
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: can read Braille. That anybody can read braill if you
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: try to learn how. There's literally nothing badass about that.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Every blind person can read braille, and any sighted person
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: can learn to read braill.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: So that's not what Dan was supposed to deliver.
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: Yes, Hak, I am telling you the first interview, So
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: that was Dan's mistake. I had mine. It went so poorly.
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: It was built up for so long. It went so
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: poorly the second one. And I believe that where that
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: was where the first clip was from. We needed to
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: read you, Dan, and I could not cleanse our souls. Well,
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: you need to do this again, And in order for
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: us to feel right about it, we had to have
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: Chuck back.
• 16:10
  Speaker 6: And do it the right way.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: Funny that you say that. We get on the air
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: the next day. The interview went so poorly. I went
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: back in the lab and I created a recap, almost
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: a behind the scenes look at what had transpired the
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: day before. I got the big voice on the blower
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, hey, I need some I need some
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: narration quickly because I got to turn this around for tomorrow.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: The next day's show, we do a recap of just
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: how poorly, Because remember, we had all South Florida ready
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: for this. The only people who weren't ready for it
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: were you and Dan.
• 16:42
  Speaker 6: That's right, I mean really, Dan, I mean.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: So, here is the not the following day, here's the
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: behind the scenes of what had just transpired.
• 16:54
  Speaker 8: There for as an interview been as highly anticipated as
• 16:58
  Speaker 8: the Chuck Norris appearance and Dan Levotard Show. After weeks
• 17:02
  Speaker 8: of Chuck Norris's facts Chuck Norris jokes in Chuck Norris's Talk,
• 17:07
  Speaker 8: the Man the Legend finally appeared on the Dan Lebtard Show,
• 17:11
  Speaker 8: and it was brutal. Rather than the angry, tough bearded
• 17:15
  Speaker 8: Chuck Norris we were expecting, we instead got a pleasant,
• 17:19
  Speaker 8: watered down version of Walker, Texas Ranger. He was too agreeable.
• 17:25
  Speaker 9: Geico saved a bunch of money by canceling Chuck.
• 17:28
  Speaker 10: Norris's Yeah that's a Geico commercial. Yeah.
• 17:32
  Speaker 8: The Chuck Norris interview went poorly from the beginning. A
• 17:35
  Speaker 8: funny Chuck Norris fact would have been Chuck Norris speaks Brail.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately Dan mangled the.
• 17:42
  Speaker 11: Joke Chuck Norris can read Braille.
• 17:45
  Speaker 8: Rather than tell Dan how unfunny and stupid that Chuck Norris.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Fact was all Norris could manage.
• 17:51
  Speaker 8: Was a weak, pathetic, condescending laugh, and the laugh was brilliant.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: Anyway, that's fucking imaging a little behind the scenes of
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: what happened.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Chuck Norris can read braille.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: I think is worse than the jeep was chasing the
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: d rext.
• 18:13
  Speaker 6: What I was trying to.
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: Say here is Chuck Norris.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: We made Chuck Norris rejoins after and during.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: I mean, we were so into Chuck Norris.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: Here's one of them, Dan Levitt's art.
• 18:28
  Speaker 11: Chuck Norris can read braille.
• 18:37
  Speaker 12: Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
• 18:44
  Speaker 6: The rex was not chasing the.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Jeep. I'm supports to talk seven ninety the tick.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: I may have elongated your questiones.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: Creative editing. Here's another Chuck Norris where rejoined we made.
• 19:07
  Speaker 8: You're listening to the Dan Lebotard show. Just wanted you
• 19:10
  Speaker 8: to know that I, the big voice, am not afraid
• 19:14
  Speaker 8: of Chuck Norris. I'm meant to say, Chuck Morris makes
• 19:19
  Speaker 8: me wet myself. Here's Dan Levittard and Stu Gott. Since
• 19:25
  Speaker 8: let's start seven ninety that Shuck Norris.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: If you remember the first segment that I played where
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: it was the start of the first interview and he says,
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: maybe I'll roundhouse kick you off the balcony. That comes
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: from the drops. So remember we get Chuck Norris on
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: the phone. We're in a commercial break, so we've got
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: four or five minutes. I'm gonna get Chuck Norris to
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: record drops or the radio show. Hey this is Chuck Norris.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: You're listening to the Chuck Norris Show. Or Hey, this
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: is Chuck Norris, you're listening to the Dan Levittard Show.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: With Stu Gotts.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: Dan misbehaves I might roundhouse kick him off the balcony,
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: like I had written some for him, and I just
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: couldn't get him to do.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: What I wrote.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: You don't hear my portion of the conversation. You can
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: hear him listening to me, though. But here's behind the
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: scenes of me trying to get Chuck Norris to record
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: some drops for the show.
• 20:19
  Speaker 10: Hi, this is Chuck Norris, and I like the round
• 20:22
  Speaker 10: house kick Dan laid Baitard off the balcony, Dan lay Baitard. Okay,
• 20:29
  Speaker 10: this is Chuck Norris, and like to kick Dan le
• 20:31
  Speaker 10: Batard off the balcony. Oh Jesus, Okay, this is Chuck Norris,
• 20:37
  Speaker 10: and you're not listening listening to the Dan Li Baitard Show.
• 20:39
  Speaker 10: You're listening to the Chuck Norris Show. I'm not going
• 20:43
  Speaker 10: to say that talking about me or Dan. I don't
• 20:52
  Speaker 10: think any I don't think anyone to say that. I
• 20:55
  Speaker 10: don't think they talk about me enough. All right, this
• 21:01
  Speaker 10: is Chuck Norris and Dana Okay, this is a Chuck
• 21:05
  Speaker 10: Norris and Dan Len Buttard needs to talk more about
• 21:07
  Speaker 10: me on his show.
• 21:09
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean he's not coachable.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: I mean none of them work very well. He was uncoachable.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: None of them work very well.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: He didn't share the same sense of humor that we
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: did here. We I'll get to it in a second,
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: because we ended up sueing him once because he just
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: droned on and on and was kind of boring most
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: of the time.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: Uh hau Were you ever uneasy with you know, a
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: guest would call in just expecting to do an interview
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: and then all of a sudden you're asking him to
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: do a ton of drops for the show. Did that
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: ever get uncomfortable for you? Like you were finding it?
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Try to read them out right, and if it looked
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: like somebody was on a media tour and they had
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: a couple of minutes and they weren't interested, I probably
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: wouldn't even ask him, or I would just ask him.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: Give me a standard. Hey, this is you know whatever,
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: Chris Berman. You're listening to Dan LeBatard show.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Sure, Norris was specifically doing an interview for US. He
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: was not a media tour now. He was at the
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: end of an interview that we did in November. In November,
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: he was coming to Miami for some mixed martial arts
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: event and he ended up dropping an amazing revelation. It
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: turned into a Suie Award for Amazing Revelation. I don't
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: know if he won that year or not, but he
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: was nominated. But this is a clip from his interview
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: with US later that year in November, where he drops
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: a pretty amazing revelation.
• 22:26
  Speaker 11: Chuck, thank you so much for joining us again. World
• 22:28
  Speaker 11: Combat League James L. Knight Center. We've been promoting it
• 22:32
  Speaker 11: like crazy. World Combat League James L.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: Knight Center.
• 22:34
  Speaker 11: Tomorrow night. You'll be there, Chuck.
• 22:36
  Speaker 10: No, Actually, I just got back from Iraq and I
• 22:40
  Speaker 10: got pneumonia. What Yeah, less than a week in Iraq,
• 22:44
  Speaker 10: and I went over and I did a tour over there,
• 22:46
  Speaker 10: went to eleven different bases over there for a week,
• 22:49
  Speaker 10: and all the way from Kuwait to Alasad Dima Rawa,
• 22:54
  Speaker 10: I'll climb Falujah Ramadi and I was order's thinking about
• 23:00
  Speaker 10: eighteen hours a day shaking hands and taking pictures with
• 23:03
  Speaker 10: the truth. Over the week I did shook hands.
• 23:06
  Speaker 9: And why weren't you there fighting? Like we need you
• 23:09
  Speaker 9: over there to fix it over there.
• 23:11
  Speaker 10: That's what they said over there, they said, now we can,
• 23:13
  Speaker 10: we can go home now you're here.
• 23:15
  Speaker 11: But the war's over.
• 23:18
  Speaker 10: The dust over there, you know, it's a it's a
• 23:19
  Speaker 10: desolate area, right and you know, and so commuting came
• 23:23
  Speaker 10: from one location to the other. I got dust in
• 23:26
  Speaker 10: my lungs and it affected my uh, it's infected me
• 23:29
  Speaker 10: and I've got pneumonia my left lung. So the doctor
• 23:32
  Speaker 10: won't let me fly.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: Whimp.
• 23:35
  Speaker 10: Oh yeah right wait, probably get down there, guys, I'm
• 23:39
  Speaker 10: coming off Dan. Is that you Dan said that?
• 23:45
  Speaker 11: No? It was?
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: It was It was od.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: An amazing revelation though, like are you coming down for
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: the fight? No, it was just back from a rock.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: I got pneumonia.
• 24:01
  Speaker 6: That war is still going on casually.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: The war didn't pick up again until Chuck Norris passed.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: Everybody was a little nervous to get involved again. Oh
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Norris is gone.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: All right, here's one more clip from our Chuck Norris archives.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: This is when he got suye on the show for
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: just droning on and on and on.
• 24:24
  Speaker 10: Because I had a lot of factual material into the
• 24:27
  Speaker 10: Civil War. And then also something you probably don't know,
• 24:31
  Speaker 10: Dan and John is that at the end, there's a
• 24:34
  Speaker 10: Abraham Lincoln was assassinated that same week, and so he
• 24:38
  Speaker 10: got all the news and the sultana became a back
• 24:41
  Speaker 10: page story. But it's actual, that's actually historical fact.
• 24:44
  Speaker 9: Chuck Norris joined joins us on seven ninety.
• 24:51
  Speaker 6: Well was the second I can't remember.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: I can't remember.
• 24:56
  Speaker 6: We all know the first sound that was a SIOUI.
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: That was a you know, communication between us and the
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: audience to know this isn't going very well.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: The second one was like an ooh.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: It was another sound that I was using it. I
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: was just trying to dress up an awful interview. I
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: remember there being another awful interview and they're both have
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: passed away. So I don't feel good about sharing these stories.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: But Chuck Norris was awful because he was boring. Do
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: you remember Suzanne Summer's coming on and all she wanted
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: to talk about was health food and healthy eating and
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: just could never get into the vibe of the show.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: We ended up suing her several times during the interview.
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we were just as excited, right because she was
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: a big star for us growing up. I think she
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: was in Three's Company, right, Yeah, she was selling, Yeah,
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: the thigh Master, that's.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: What she was selling.
• 25:42
  Speaker 6: That's what we had her on floor.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: Listen that Chuck Norris gets sued again because it caught
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Dan off guard a little bit, and then he lost it,
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: like he started to laugh when he tried to reset
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: the interview.
• 25:54
  Speaker 10: Because I added a lot of factual material into the
• 25:57
  Speaker 10: Civil War. And then at also something probably don't know
• 26:00
  Speaker 10: Dan and John is that at the end, uh, there's
• 26:03
  Speaker 10: a Abraham Lincoln was assassinated that same week, and so
• 26:07
  Speaker 10: he got all the news and the Sultana became a
• 26:10
  Speaker 10: back page story. But it's actual, that's actually a historical fact.
• 26:14
  Speaker 11: Chuck Norris joined joins us on seven ninety the.
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: Ticket, So I think what Dan is laughing at is
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: the suey ooh, yeah, the nomination right, because I owed
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: him right before Dan was going to reset the interview.
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: He had plenty of time to get over the siouey
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: because he would laugh at those occasionally, so would I
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: when they were dropped in, but the ooh was something.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: He was not.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'd drop a suie and then you guys would
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: look behind the glass and me and Roy and Mike Ryan,
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: we'd be cracking up back there because you know, you
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: got to you want to time the suey at the
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: right way because I actually I actually threw off Chuck
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: Norris there a little bit, like he got a little
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: startled by it and lost his train of thought, because
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: there were.
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: Times during interviews where Dan and I thought it was
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: going poorly, you thought it was going well.
• 26:57
  Speaker 6: We would ask you to suey.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: The guys what Yeah, there would be an argument through
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: the this is fine, like no, what are you guys.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: Hitting Dann Revie like no, sueum suiyum.
• 27:08
  Speaker 10: No.
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: It was such a good It was such a great
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: idea to create a sound that we would play as
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: communication to the I think it was Dan's idea.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: Maybe that was Dan's idea.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: That was the most brilliant thing that we did at
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: the beginning of the show to endear an audience to us,
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: because it was like, Hey, we're not performing for you, right,
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: We're all performing together.
• 27:32
  Speaker 6: We're in it together.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: We're all in this community.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: And when we bring someone in like Chuck Norris, while
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: we're all excited as a community, if it's bad, we
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: all kind of wink at each other together by dropping.
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: A suy yes without telling the guests that he's being
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: dreadful on the air.
• 27:51
  Speaker 6: It was such a It was such a great.
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: Device, but also a device that would sometimes make me
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: and Dan laugh and we couldn't carry on with the interview.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: So's uh, let's do some nicknames here. To end today's pod,
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: We've got a podcast coming up with Stu Gotts and
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: Hawk with Steven Segal, and that is coming up soon,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: so make sure you're listening to that. Don't forget to
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: go to Deck eighty four and Burton Max's in Delray Beach,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: And if you want a cameo from me and Stu Gotts,
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: go to cameo search up Mark Hakman.
• 28:23
  Speaker 6: And I owe you a few or what's going on here.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: We're kind of up to date.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: I had people rebook so good.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Thank you to.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: Give me the nickname of three athletes. To end the podcast, Okay,
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: are you a soccer guy at all?
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: Will I stump you if I say Tim Howard?
• 28:47
  Speaker 6: He was the goalkeeper for a team USA.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: Been hearing about this US soccer, I mean since the
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: eighties growth Yeah, Taylor Mos Howard Donovan.
• 29:02
  Speaker 6: I mean we suck at soccer. I think a cabinet
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: position maybe yeah, mm hmm, cabinet position.
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: Secretary of defense, which is now secretary why.
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: I mean he played go No One fucking scores in
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: that sport. He just sits there. He doesn't do anything.
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: It's not like anyone's attacking him.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, Jesus, Evander Holyfield, real deal, real deal?
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: How about uh Yvonne Rodriguez Pudge? Need one more? To
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: end the podcast?
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: Oh god, Tim Howard's secretary of defense, Get the fuck
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: out of here. I mean, Jesus, who's the best defender
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: in NBA history?
• 29:43
  Speaker 6: A lockdown defender?
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: Was a robmin Was it Jordan that should be the
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: secretary of defense?
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: Mariano rivera.
• 29:50
  Speaker 6: Mo sand Man?
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Sandman? Yeah, well, I wasn't gonna give you a mo.
• 29:54
  Speaker 6: I'll give you no tail is a Yankee fan. I
• 29:56
  Speaker 6: think Mo Cownce does it not.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: No gotta be the same man.
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: He got them both, but I think that would have
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: been a case where either one is acceptable.
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: But he's walking around the Bronx. Okay, Marianna Rivera. When
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: he's walking around the Bronx walking to the stadium, Jeter
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: has done that a few times. What do you think
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: people are calling out? You think they're saying, hey, Sandman,
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: or you think they're.
• 30:16
  Speaker 6: Just going mos points most easy.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Jeter walking around and yelled. People are yelling jeets.
• 30:22
  Speaker 6: Yeah, Captain, yes, jeets, jeets.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: All right, we'll see you on the next one, the
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: next with Stu Gotts and Hawkman.
• 30:30
  Speaker 6: The Secretary of Defense, my ass, I mean Jesus
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: With Stu Gotts and Hawkman