Latest / Loud & Lifted / Quick Lift: Where Motherhood Meets Ambition
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Loud and Lifted. I'm your host, Betsy
- 0:02Hamm. And in this quick lift episode, we're spotlighting
- 0:04the wisdom of Dr. Linda Fidriese Williams, college
- 0:07president and trailblazer for women in leadership,
- 0:10especially moms. In her episode, she shared both
- 0:12personal experience and powerful insights from
- 0:15her doctoral research on women in leadership.
- 0:18We dove into guilt. sacrifice, support systems,
- 0:20and what it truly takes to thrive without losing
- 0:23yourself in the process. Today, we're going to
- 0:25break down the four key takeaways from owning
- 0:29your next chapter without the guilt, chaos, or
- 0:32second guessing in less than 10 minutes. You'll
- 0:34walk away with fresh perspective and real actions
- 0:36you can take right now. Whether you're eyeing
- 0:38the C -suite or simply trying to balance ambition
- 0:41with family life, these insights are your roadmap.
- 0:52So when Linda told me about her doctoral research,
- 0:55it was so interesting because as I read through
- 0:58it, it literally sounded like a recap of all
- 1:00of the episodes that we've had of Loud and Lifted
- 1:03so far. She did her research on college presidents
- 1:06who were women. However, her findings were literally
- 1:09what we've been talking about at Loud and Lifted
- 1:11just through a few guests. So let's break down
- 1:14what some of her big findings were and what the
- 1:16takeaways are to do something about it. The first
- 1:19segment we talked about was the myth of balance
- 1:21and the reality of guilt. As we've discussed,
- 1:24there's no such thing as balancing. There's no
- 1:26way to have everything fair and equal in your
- 1:29life when it comes to family and home and being
- 1:32a wife, having to deal with maybe aging parents
- 1:35and, oh, by the way, your job. The best I can
- 1:38attribute to, and I've said this before, is juggling.
- 1:41We have all these balls in the air, and sometimes
- 1:43something's gonna drop, and it's not always gonna
- 1:45be pretty, and it sure as hell isn't gonna be
- 1:47perfect, but... We have to do the best that we
- 1:50can and not have that guilt to know that we're
- 1:52not going to do everything perfectly all the
- 1:54time. And we don't have to go so far above and
- 1:56beyond. Like we don't have to make cookies. That's
- 1:59at least what I told myself when my kids were
- 2:00younger. I can certainly just go by the ones
- 2:02that giant and everything's going to be fine.
- 2:04So we have that reality of the guilt that we're
- 2:07not doing everything that we need to. And a lot
- 2:09of times it's self -inflicted. Let's be honest.
- 2:12Maybe we're being judged by the other moms. But
- 2:13again, that goes back to the shittiness of women.
- 2:16But at the end of the day, we're our toughest
- 2:17critics. So we need to chill about the fact that
- 2:20we're not going to be there for everything and
- 2:22everybody all the time. Time is also our greatest
- 2:25scarcity for our children, for our spouses, and
- 2:28even for ourselves. That goes back to earlier
- 2:30conversations about making sure we're taking
- 2:32time for ourselves too. So that led into the
- 2:35second part of our conversation, which was around
- 2:37sacrifice, support, and that invisible load.
- 2:40Now, again, we've had conversations about outsourcing
- 2:43where we can, domestic work, whether it's cleaning
- 2:46or childcare. And there was a comment she made.
- 2:48It was that you either outsource, delegate, or
- 2:51let it go. And that's so true. There's some things
- 2:53that we can outsource, and that's awesome. There's
- 2:56other tasks maybe that we need to delegate, whether
- 2:58it's asking someone to pick up our kids or asking
- 3:01her husband to unload the dishwasher. or fold
- 3:04the clothes, whatever it is, sometimes we have
- 3:06to ask for help. And I know I've been guilty
- 3:08of that in the past where I just want to figure
- 3:10it out and I'll do it all on my own. And I want
- 3:12it to be done right. And we just can't. We have
- 3:14to let go of that. And we have to get the support
- 3:16around us. So whether it's from your spouse,
- 3:19like we talked about on our dad's issue for Father's
- 3:22Day, or other family members or neighbors, you've
- 3:25got to take the first step and at least ask for
- 3:28the help. The next part that we talked about
- 3:30was motherhood as leadership training. is interesting
- 3:33and honestly not something I really have thought
- 3:35about. I've been a mom for 17 years, but didn't
- 3:37cross my mind. All the participants in her study
- 3:40agreed that motherhood made them better leaders.
- 3:42And I love that skills like time management,
- 3:44empathy, conflict resolution and multitasking
- 3:47were directly tied to parenting. And for those
- 3:49of you who are parents, you know, those are things
- 3:52that we do a lot of the time. So honing in on
- 3:55those skills because you're doing them more often.
- 3:57I'll imagine practicing something and getting
- 3:59better at it ends up being able to do something
- 4:01that we become better at as a leader perspective.
- 4:04And I think that I love that so much. Authenticity
- 4:07and consistency in both roles created stronger
- 4:10connections with teams and family. I think that's
- 4:12so true. I think a lot of times when your boss
- 4:15is a parent, whether male or female, there's
- 4:18a little bit more empathy of the situation and
- 4:20understanding the juggling that you are trying
- 4:22to do. The next thing we talked about was trying
- 4:24to redefine leadership for women. And that just
- 4:27comes from those who are managers or who are
- 4:30the employers. We have to adapt and support to
- 4:33women leaders. So whether it's policies or flexibility,
- 4:36mentorship, cultural shifts are necessary. Linda
- 4:39mentioned about she's very cognizant of not scheduling
- 4:42meetings super early in the morning because the
- 4:44people schedule or maybe it's the very end of
- 4:46the day because we know life happens and we have
- 4:49kids to pick up and sporting events to attend
- 4:51to. So just being considerate of our team members,
- 4:55male or female schedule, is really important.
- 4:58And again, this goes back to the support piece
- 5:01as well. So those are some of the highlights
- 5:03from her research and as I mentioned it was really
- 5:05a lot of the same conversation now backed by
- 5:08research that we've had on Loud and Lifted over
- 5:11our first few guests. So what are the takeaways
- 5:13that we can do to be better? The advice that
- 5:16she had for moms aspiring to leadership roles.
- 5:18The first was building that support network.
- 5:21So again, outsource, delegate, let it go. What
- 5:25can you have other people help you with and what
- 5:27do you just need to get over? The second part
- 5:29was getting organized. And this is true. And
- 5:31this actually goes back to Julia's episode where
- 5:34she was very organized and very intentional with
- 5:36her time and her calendar. And I love that. And
- 5:38that's something that I've been trying to do
- 5:40at the beginning of my week. And honestly, even
- 5:43during the day, I've had to start blocking out
- 5:45chunks of time that I'm working on things. I
- 5:48came from a culture where there was a lot of
- 5:49meetings that kind of controlled my calendar
- 5:51and helped me be organized. But with more flexibility
- 5:54in my current role, I have to block out chunks
- 5:56of time so that I'm focusing on something. maybe
- 5:58for 30 minutes or an hour, but I'm prioritizing
- 6:01when and how much time I'm focused on. The other
- 6:04thing I think from a personal perspective is
- 6:07have a cozy calendar app. That would be my little
- 6:10plug. It's an app that we all and my family have
- 6:12on our phone that is a calendar that everybody
- 6:14can see. So when something goes on it, we all
- 6:16get a notification. Whoever has to attend gets
- 6:18a notification. And that way there's not that,
- 6:21oh, I told you I have to work or I told you I
- 6:23have this event. If it doesn't, if it's not on
- 6:25the calendar, it doesn't exist. So just something
- 6:28that helps to really keep us organized of knowing
- 6:30who's gonna be where or where we have to be,
- 6:33and that my kids don't try to make plans and
- 6:35say that they didn't know that we were doing
- 6:36something with our family. So just a little tip,
- 6:38but again, it's just going back to getting organized
- 6:41on your day and then on your week, and that really
- 6:43is personally and professionally. Another reoccurring
- 6:46theme was finding the right fit. You don't have
- 6:49to force your ambition into a life that doesn't
- 6:51work for you. The right environment honors your
- 6:54values and also leads to authenticity. And again,
- 6:57we'll go back to the Julia example and even Julie,
- 7:00it's doing what you want and doing it where somebody
- 7:02values you. And I understand that sometimes you
- 7:05might be in a situation where you don't feel
- 7:06that, but then what are you going to do about
- 7:07it? What steps are you going to take to change
- 7:09your environment or change that role that you're
- 7:12in, in order to feel that you do have the right
- 7:15fit? So I would encourage you to ask yourself,
- 7:18does this opportunity align with my life or am
- 7:20I bending my life to fit the opportunity? Be
- 7:23honest and adjust. And the last piece of advice
- 7:27Linda had for moms aspiring to be in leadership
- 7:30roles was to believe in yourself. This is so
- 7:33weird. I don't think we've talked about confidence
- 7:35yet on this podcast, have we? A reoccurring theme
- 7:37for sure. Self doubt is loud, but your purpose
- 7:41is louder and you have to remember you're qualified
- 7:43and you're capable and you're ready, even if
- 7:45you don't feel like you are. Again, all participants
- 7:48in her study agreed motherhood made them better
- 7:50leaders. So don't take that as a negative. If
- 7:52you feel like that's a quote distraction, it's
- 7:55not, it's making you a better leader. So believe
- 7:58in yourself. And if you're having that self doubt,
- 8:01figure out how you can improve on that. What
- 8:03can you do? And again, it's going to be one little
- 8:05win at a time. You don't have to do it all and
- 8:08you definitely don't have to do it alone. If
- 8:10you're a mother with big leadership dreams, remember
- 8:12the path is possible and it's yours to define.
- 8:15Build the right support system, get clear on
- 8:17what works for you and believe, truly believe
- 8:20that you belong at the table. because motherhood
- 8:23doesn't hold you back from leadership. It prepares
- 8:25you for it. If you haven't listened to Linda's
- 8:28episode, please make sure to do so. As always,
- 8:30if this episode resonated with you, please like
- 8:33it, share it with a friend, and don't forget
- 8:35to follow us on Instagram and TikTok. Until next
- 8:38time, stay loud and lifted.