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Navigating High-Stakes Conversations with AmyK Hutchens · #WisdomOfWomen Show

• 0:00
  Welcome
• 0:00
  to
• 0:01
  the
• 0:01
  Wisdom
• 0:01
  of
• 0:02
  Women
• 0:02
  Show.
• 0:02
  We
• 0:03
  are
• 0:03
  dedicated
• 0:04
  to
• 0:04
  amplifying
• 0:05
  the
• 0:05
  voice
• 0:06
  and
• 0:06
  wisdom
• 0:07
  of
• 0:07
  women
• 0:07
  in
• 0:07
  business.
• 0:08
  A
• 0:09
  new
• 0:09
  model
• 0:09
  of
• 0:10
  leadership
• 0:10
  is
• 0:10
  emerging
• 0:11
  and
• 0:11
  we
• 0:12
  are
• 0:12
  here
• 0:12
  to
• 0:13
  amplify
• 0:13
  the
• 0:14
  voices
• 0:14
  of
• 0:14
  women
• 0:15
  leading
• 0:15
  the
• 0:16
  way.
• 0:17
  I
• 0:17
  am
• 0:17
  your
• 0:18
  host,
• 0:18
  Kokum
• 0:19
  Salman,
• 0:19
  five
• 0:20
  time
• 0:20
  founder,
• 0:20
  impact
• 0:21
  investor
• 0:22
  and
• 0:22
  creator
• 0:23
  of
• 0:23
  the
• 0:23
  Force
• 0:23
  for
• 0:24
  Good
• 0:24
  system.
• 0:25
  Thank
• 0:25
  you
• 0:25
  for
• 0:26
  joining
• 0:26
  us
• 0:26
  today
• 0:27
  as
• 0:27
  we
• 0:27
  illuminate
• 0:28
  the
• 0:29
  path
• 0:29
  to
• 0:29
  unlocking
• 0:30
  opportunities
• 0:31
  and
• 0:32
  prosperity
• 0:32
  for
• 0:33
  women
• 0:33
  led
• 0:33
  enterprises
• 0:35
  by
• 0:35
  amplifying
• 0:36
  the
• 0:36
  voice
• 0:36
  and
• 0:36
  wisdom
• 0:37
  of
• 0:37
  women.
• 0:39
  So
• 0:39
  today
• 0:40
  we
• 0:40
  have
• 0:41
  a
• 0:41
  hard
• 0:42
  truth
• 0:42
  muse
• 0:43
  of
• 0:43
  the
• 0:44
  boardroom
• 0:45
  and
• 0:45
  bedroom
• 0:46
  in
• 0:46
  our
• 0:46
  midst.
• 0:48
  So
• 0:48
  sex,
• 0:49
  salary
• 0:49
  and
• 0:49
  success
• 0:50
  and
• 0:50
  the
• 0:50
  sacred
• 0:51
  art
• 0:51
  of
• 0:51
  saying
• 0:52
  what
• 0:52
  you
• 0:53
  want.
• 0:53
  This
• 0:54
  week
• 0:54
  we
• 0:54
  have
• 0:55
  Amy
• 0:55
  K.
• 0:55
  Hutchins
• 0:56
  joining
• 0:57
  us
• 0:57
  on
• 0:57
  the
• 0:57
  Wisdom
• 0:57
  of
• 0:58
  Women
• 0:58
  show
• 0:59
  to
• 0:59
  talk
• 0:59
  about
• 1:00
  the
• 1:00
  one
• 1:00
  conversation
• 1:01
  that
• 1:02
  could
• 1:02
  change
• 1:02
  everything.
• 1:03
  Amy
• 1:04
  K.
• 1:04
  Is
• 1:04
  an
• 1:05
  internationally
• 1:06
  acclaimed
• 1:07
  speaker,
• 1:08
  two
• 1:08
  time
• 1:09
  Amazon
• 1:10
  number
• 1:10
  one
• 1:10
  best
• 1:10
  selling
• 1:11
  author
• 1:11
  and
• 1:12
  founder
• 1:13
  of
• 1:13
  AmyK.com
• 1:14
  and
• 1:15
  Ignite
• 1:15
  brilliance.com,
• 1:17
  a
• 1:17
  global
• 1:18
  platform
• 1:19
  empowering
• 1:20
  leaders
• 1:20
  to
• 1:21
  communicate
• 1:21
  with
• 1:22
  power,
• 1:22
  purpose
• 1:22
  and
• 1:23
  profit.
• 1:24
  A
• 1:24
  former
• 1:25
  senior
• 1:26
  executive
• 1:27
  of
• 1:27
  a
• 1:27
  billion
• 1:27
  dollar
• 1:28
  company
• 1:28
  and
• 1:28
  award
• 1:29
  winning
• 1:30
  educator,
• 1:31
  Amy
• 1:31
  K.
• 1:31
  Has
• 1:32
  transformed
• 1:33
  thousands
• 1:33
  of
• 1:34
  leaders
• 1:34
  across
• 1:35
  10
• 1:35
  countries
• 1:36
  including
• 1:36
  teams
• 1:37
  at
• 1:37
  Lockheed
• 1:38
  Martin,
• 1:39
  Starbucks
• 1:40
  and
• 1:40
  Expedia
• 1:41
  through
• 1:41
  her
• 1:42
  signature
• 1:43
  frameworks
• 1:44
  for
• 1:44
  navigating
• 1:45
  high
• 1:45
  stakes
• 1:45
  conversations.
• 1:47
  She
• 1:47
  is
• 1:47
  a
• 1:47
  master
• 1:48
  of
• 1:48
  turning
• 1:49
  tough
• 1:49
  conversations
• 1:50
  into
• 1:52
  great
• 1:52
  turning
• 1:53
  points.
• 1:54
  She
• 1:54
  teaches
• 1:54
  leaders
• 1:55
  how
• 1:55
  to
• 1:55
  lead
• 1:55
  with
• 1:56
  clarity,
• 1:56
  influence
• 1:57
  and
• 1:57
  emotional
• 1:58
  intelligence.
• 1:59
  With
• 1:59
  an
• 2:00
  Ms.
• 2:00
  From
• 2:00
  Johns
• 2:01
  Hopkins
• 2:01
  and
• 2:02
  features
• 2:03
  in
• 2:03
  USA
• 2:03
  Today,
• 2:04
  Bloomberg.
• 2:05
  An
• 2:05
  entrepreneur,
• 2:06
  she
• 2:07
  is
• 2:07
  known
• 2:08
  not
• 2:08
  only
• 2:08
  for
• 2:08
  her
• 2:09
  brilliant
• 2:09
  insights
• 2:10
  but
• 2:11
  for
• 2:11
  her
• 2:12
  contagious
• 2:13
  energy
• 2:14
  that
• 2:14
  she
• 2:14
  brings
• 2:15
  to
• 2:15
  every
• 2:16
  stage.
• 2:17
  Today
• 2:17
  she
• 2:18
  is
• 2:18
  redefining
• 2:19
  how
• 2:19
  visionary
• 2:20
  women
• 2:20
  lead
• 2:21
  one
• 2:21
  courageous,
• 2:22
  profitable
• 2:23
  conversation
• 2:23
  at
• 2:24
  a
• 2:24
  time.
• 2:25
  Welcome
• 2:25
  Amy
• 2:26
  K.
• 2:27
  My
• 2:27
  heart
• 2:27
  is
• 2:27
  full.
• 2:28
  Thanks
• 2:28
  for
• 2:28
  having
• 2:29
  me
• 2:29
  Coco.
• 2:30
  Oh,
• 2:30
  it's
• 2:30
  a
• 2:31
  pleasure.
• 2:31
  So
• 2:31
  much
• 2:32
  fun.
• 2:32
  So
• 2:33
  tell
• 2:33
  us,
• 2:33
  what
• 2:34
  is
• 2:34
  a
• 2:34
  book
• 2:35
  written
• 2:35
  by
• 2:35
  a
• 2:36
  woman
• 2:36
  that
• 2:37
  has
• 2:37
  significantly
• 2:38
  influenced
• 2:39
  your
• 2:39
  life?
• 2:40
  So
• 2:40
  I'm
• 2:41
  going
• 2:41
  to
• 2:41
  go
• 2:41
  back
• 2:42
  to
• 2:42
  1982.
• 2:45
  I
• 2:45
  was
• 2:45
  11
• 2:46
  years
• 2:46
  old
• 2:46
  and
• 2:47
  in
• 2:47
  the
• 2:47
  seventh
• 2:47
  grade
• 2:48
  I
• 2:48
  had
• 2:48
  to
• 2:48
  go
• 2:49
  back
• 2:49
  and
• 2:49
  find
• 2:50
  it
• 2:50
  and
• 2:50
  you'll
• 2:50
  know
• 2:51
  how
• 2:51
  old
• 2:51
  it
• 2:51
  is
• 2:51
  by
• 2:52
  the
• 2:52
  brown
• 2:52
  pages
• 2:53
  that
• 2:53
  I'm
• 2:53
  showing
• 2:54
  you.
• 2:54
  But
• 2:55
  Shakti
• 2:56
  Gawain
• 2:57
  and
• 2:57
  Creative
• 2:58
  Visualization
• 2:59
  launched
• 2:59
  a
• 3:00
  movement
• 3:00
  of
• 3:00
  mind,
• 3:00
  body
• 3:01
  and
• 3:01
  before
• 3:02
  the
• 3:02
  Wayne
• 3:03
  Dyers
• 3:03
  and
• 3:03
  Louise
• 3:04
  Hayes
• 3:04
  there
• 3:04
  was
• 3:05
  Shakti.
• 3:05
  And
• 3:05
  what's
• 3:05
  so
• 3:06
  fun
• 3:06
  for
• 3:06
  me
• 3:07
  was
• 3:07
  I
• 3:07
  was
• 3:08
  noticing
• 3:08
  what
• 3:08
  I
• 3:08
  underlined
• 3:09
  when
• 3:10
  I
• 3:10
  was
• 3:10
  11.
• 3:11
  Oh,
• 3:11
  it
• 3:12
  was
• 3:12
  eye
• 3:12
  opening
• 3:13
  to
• 3:13
  me
• 3:13
  that
• 3:13
  I
• 3:13
  was
• 3:13
  drawn
• 3:14
  to
• 3:14
  it
• 3:14
  that
• 3:14
  early
• 3:15
  in
• 3:15
  life
• 3:16
  there's
• 3:16
  a
• 3:16
  big
• 3:16
  difference
• 3:17
  between
• 3:17
  knowing
• 3:18
  and
• 3:18
  embodying.
• 3:20
  The
• 3:20
  truth
• 3:20
  was
• 3:21
  I
• 3:22
  picked
• 3:22
  it
• 3:22
  up
• 3:22
  again
• 3:22
  in
• 3:22
  my
• 3:22
  20s.
• 3:23
  I
• 3:23
  moved
• 3:23
  it
• 3:23
  when
• 3:24
  I
• 3:24
  moved
• 3:24
  to
• 3:24
  Shanghai,
• 3:25
  I
• 3:25
  moved
• 3:25
  it
• 3:25
  again
• 3:25
  when
• 3:25
  I
• 3:26
  moved
• 3:26
  to
• 3:26
  London,
• 3:27
  but
• 3:27
  it
• 3:27
  wasn't
• 3:27
  until
• 3:28
  my
• 3:28
  40s
• 3:28
  when
• 3:28
  I
• 3:29
  embodied
• 3:29
  it.
• 3:29
  I
• 3:29
  think
• 3:30
  that's
• 3:30
  part
• 3:30
  of
• 3:30
  the
• 3:30
  purpose
• 3:31
  of
• 3:31
  my
• 3:31
  path.
• 3:32
  I'd
• 3:32
  love
• 3:32
  for
• 3:32
  women
• 3:32
  to
• 3:33
  embody
• 3:33
  it
• 3:34
  before
• 3:34
  they
• 3:34
  hit
• 3:35
  their
• 3:35
  40s.
• 3:37
  I
• 3:37
  love
• 3:37
  that
• 3:37
  you
• 3:37
  had
• 3:38
  this
• 3:38
  curiosity
• 3:39
  about
• 3:40
  this
• 3:41
  wisdom
• 3:42
  within
• 3:42
  you.
• 3:42
  It
• 3:43
  was
• 3:43
  percolating
• 3:44
  even
• 3:45
  when
• 3:45
  you
• 3:45
  were.
• 3:45
  11
• 3:46
  and
• 3:46
  you
• 3:46
  were
• 3:46
  able
• 3:46
  to
• 3:47
  identify.
• 3:48
  That
• 3:49
  there's
• 3:50
  something
• 3:50
  more,
• 3:51
  something
• 3:51
  really
• 3:51
  rich
• 3:52
  inside
• 3:52
  of
• 3:52
  you.
• 3:53
  Yes.
• 3:53
  It's
• 3:54
  interesting
• 3:54
  too,
• 3:54
  because
• 3:54
  I
• 3:54
  really
• 3:55
  do
• 3:55
  wish
• 3:56
  for
• 3:56
  everybody
• 3:57
  that
• 3:57
  idea
• 3:58
  that
• 3:59
  you're
• 3:59
  a
• 3:59
  co
• 3:59
  creator
• 4:00
  of
• 4:00
  your
• 4:01
  life,
• 4:01
  what
• 4:01
  you're
• 4:01
  thinking,
• 4:02
  what
• 4:02
  you're
• 4:03
  feeling.
• 4:03
  Even
• 4:03
  today,
• 4:04
  when
• 4:04
  I
• 4:04
  woke
• 4:04
  up
• 4:04
  from
• 4:05
  slightly
• 4:05
  on
• 4:05
  the
• 4:05
  wrong
• 4:06
  side
• 4:06
  of
• 4:06
  the
• 4:06
  bed,
• 4:07
  it
• 4:07
  was
• 4:07
  like,
• 4:07
  okay,
• 4:08
  I
• 4:09
  gotta
• 4:09
  turn
• 4:09
  that
• 4:09
  frown
• 4:10
  upside
• 4:11
  down.
• 4:11
  As
• 4:12
  trite
• 4:12
  as
• 4:12
  that
• 4:12
  sounds,
• 4:13
  that's
• 4:13
  what
• 4:13
  Shakti
• 4:14
  was
• 4:14
  really
• 4:14
  talking
• 4:14
  about
• 4:15
  way
• 4:15
  back
• 4:15
  then
• 4:15
  is
• 4:16
  as
• 4:17
  within,
• 4:17
  so
• 4:18
  without.
• 4:20
  As
• 4:20
  within,
• 4:21
  so
• 4:21
  without.
• 4:21
  Right?
• 4:22
  And
• 4:22
  so
• 4:23
  no
• 4:23
  matter
• 4:23
  what's
• 4:23
  happening
• 4:24
  out
• 4:24
  on
• 4:24
  the
• 4:24
  external
• 4:25
  world,
• 4:26
  it's
• 4:26
  all
• 4:26
  colored.
• 4:27
  By
• 4:27
  how
• 4:27
  you're
• 4:27
  looking
• 4:28
  at
• 4:28
  it.
• 4:31
  So
• 4:31
  powerful.
• 4:31
  And
• 4:31
  that
• 4:32
  is
• 4:32
  our
• 4:32
  power,
• 4:32
  right?
• 4:33
  To
• 4:33
  be
• 4:33
  able
• 4:33
  to
• 4:34
  understand
• 4:34
  the
• 4:35
  world
• 4:35
  through
• 4:35
  a
• 4:35
  lens
• 4:36
  of
• 4:36
  positivity,
• 4:37
  of
• 4:37
  enlightenment,
• 4:39
  curiosity,
• 4:40
  empathy.
• 4:41
  Right.
• 4:41
  Sympathy,
• 4:42
  compassion,
• 4:43
  sense
• 4:43
  of
• 4:43
  humor.
• 4:44
  To
• 4:44
  like,
• 4:44
  to
• 4:45
  reduce
• 4:45
  tension.
• 4:45
  We
• 4:46
  were
• 4:46
  talking
• 4:46
  about
• 4:46
  that
• 4:46
  before.
• 4:47
  You
• 4:47
  know,
• 4:47
  these
• 4:47
  are
• 4:48
  all
• 4:48
  things
• 4:48
  that
• 4:48
  I
• 4:48
  think
• 4:49
  are
• 4:49
  part
• 4:50
  of
• 4:50
  the
• 4:50
  human
• 4:50
  journey.
• 4:51
  Life
• 4:51
  is
• 4:51
  hard.
• 4:52
  And
• 4:52
  so
• 4:52
  when
• 4:52
  we
• 4:53
  can
• 4:53
  take
• 4:53
  that
• 4:53
  sacred
• 4:53
  pause
• 4:54
  and
• 4:55
  say,
• 4:55
  okay,
• 4:55
  who
• 4:55
  do
• 4:55
  I
• 4:56
  want
• 4:56
  to
• 4:56
  be
• 4:56
  in
• 4:56
  this
• 4:56
  moment?
• 4:56
  How
• 4:57
  do
• 4:57
  I
• 4:57
  want
• 4:57
  to
• 4:57
  show
• 4:57
  up?
• 4:58
  What's
• 4:59
  my
• 4:59
  intention
• 4:59
  walking
• 4:59
  into
• 5:00
  this
• 5:00
  conversation
• 5:00
  or
• 5:01
  event
• 5:02
  that
• 5:02
  is
• 5:02
  life
• 5:02
  changing?
• 5:03
  And
• 5:03
  it's
• 5:03
  not
• 5:03
  trite
• 5:04
  to
• 5:04
  say
• 5:04
  that,
• 5:04
  it's
• 5:04
  just
• 5:05
  truth.
• 5:05
  Well,
• 5:06
  thank
• 5:06
  you
• 5:06
  for
• 5:06
  that.
• 5:06
  Shakti
• 5:07
  Gawain.
• 5:08
  Creative
• 5:08
  Visualization.
• 5:09
  Excellent.
• 5:10
  I
• 5:10
  love
• 5:11
  that
• 5:11
  you
• 5:11
  brought
• 5:11
  this
• 5:11
  book
• 5:12
  to
• 5:12
  listeners.
• 5:13
  I
• 5:13
  was
• 5:13
  flipping
• 5:13
  the
• 5:14
  pages
• 5:14
  last
• 5:14
  night,
• 5:14
  I
• 5:14
  was
• 5:15
  like,
• 5:15
  oh,
• 5:15
  underlined
• 5:16
  that.
• 5:16
  Should
• 5:16
  have
• 5:17
  remembered
• 5:17
  it.
• 5:18
  Here
• 5:19
  I
• 5:19
  go,
• 5:19
  still
• 5:19
  learning
• 5:20
  it.
• 5:20
  Exactly.
• 5:21
  It's
• 5:21
  a
• 5:21
  practice.
• 5:22
  It's
• 5:22
  apprentice.
• 5:24
  Great.
• 5:25
  So
• 5:25
  you
• 5:26
  have
• 5:26
  had
• 5:26
  quite
• 5:27
  a
• 5:28
  career,
• 5:28
  quite
• 5:29
  a
• 5:29
  life.
• 5:30
  And
• 5:30
  I
• 5:31
  always
• 5:31
  like
• 5:31
  to
• 5:32
  understand
• 5:34
  who
• 5:35
  our
• 5:35
  guests
• 5:36
  are
• 5:36
  and
• 5:36
  share
• 5:37
  with
• 5:37
  our
• 5:37
  listeners
• 5:38
  through
• 5:39
  three
• 5:40
  pivotal,
• 5:41
  important
• 5:41
  moments
• 5:42
  of
• 5:43
  your
• 5:43
  life.
• 5:44
  Three
• 5:45
  moments
• 5:45
  that
• 5:45
  shaped
• 5:46
  who
• 5:46
  you
• 5:46
  are.
• 5:47
  Maybe
• 5:48
  a
• 5:48
  bold
• 5:49
  moment,
• 5:49
  maybe
• 5:50
  a
• 5:50
  courageous
• 5:51
  moment,
• 5:51
  maybe
• 5:51
  a
• 5:53
  shattering
• 5:53
  moment.
• 5:54
  Tell
• 5:54
  us
• 5:55
  three
• 5:55
  moments
• 5:56
  that
• 5:56
  come
• 5:56
  to
• 5:57
  mind
• 5:57
  from
• 5:57
  your
• 5:57
  life
• 5:58
  that
• 5:59
  really
• 5:59
  tell
• 5:59
  us
• 5:59
  about
• 6:00
  who
• 6:00
  you
• 6:00
  are
• 6:00
  as
• 6:01
  a
• 6:01
  person.
• 6:03
  You
• 6:03
  know,
• 6:03
  maybe
• 6:03
  for
• 6:04
  just
• 6:04
  lazy
• 6:04
  thinking.
• 6:04
  I'll
• 6:05
  go
• 6:05
  in
• 6:05
  chronological
• 6:06
  order.
• 6:06
  When
• 6:07
  I
• 6:07
  was
• 6:07
  little,
• 6:08
  Title
• 6:09
  9
• 6:09
  didn't
• 6:09
  exist.
• 6:11
  And
• 6:11
  my
• 6:12
  dad
• 6:12
  was
• 6:13
  a
• 6:13
  coach
• 6:13
  for
• 6:14
  my
• 6:14
  older
• 6:14
  brother.
• 6:14
  So
• 6:14
  I'm
• 6:15
  the
• 6:15
  youngest
• 6:15
  of
• 6:15
  three,
• 6:15
  the
• 6:16
  only
• 6:16
  girl
• 6:16
  never
• 6:17
  spoiled.
• 6:17
  That's
• 6:17
  my
• 6:18
  story.
• 6:19
  And
• 6:19
  my
• 6:20
  dad
• 6:20
  was
• 6:21
  the
• 6:21
  involved
• 6:22
  dad,
• 6:22
  which
• 6:22
  was
• 6:22
  probably
• 6:23
  more
• 6:23
  rare
• 6:24
  than
• 6:24
  I
• 6:24
  realized
• 6:24
  at
• 6:25
  the
• 6:25
  time.
• 6:25
  But
• 6:25
  it
• 6:25
  was
• 6:26
  all
• 6:26
  I
• 6:26
  knew.
• 6:26
  My
• 6:26
  dad
• 6:27
  was
• 6:27
  the
• 6:27
  coach,
• 6:27
  my
• 6:28
  dad
• 6:28
  was
• 6:28
  home
• 6:28
  for
• 6:28
  dinner.
• 6:29
  My
• 6:29
  dad
• 6:29
  was
• 6:30
  engaged
• 6:30
  and
• 6:32
  really
• 6:32
  involved
• 6:33
  in
• 6:33
  our
• 6:33
  lives.
• 6:33
  And
• 6:34
  in
• 6:35
  the
• 6:35
  70s,
• 6:35
  he
• 6:36
  looked
• 6:36
  at
• 6:36
  me
• 6:36
  and
• 6:37
  he
• 6:37
  said,
• 6:37
  you
• 6:37
  are
• 6:37
  going
• 6:38
  to
• 6:38
  keep
• 6:38
  score
• 6:39
  of
• 6:39
  the
• 6:39
  boys
• 6:39
  baseball
• 6:40
  teams.
• 6:40
  You're
• 6:40
  going
• 6:40
  to
• 6:40
  go
• 6:41
  out
• 6:41
  with
• 6:41
  us
• 6:41
  to
• 6:41
  every
• 6:41
  practice.
• 6:42
  You're
• 6:42
  going
• 6:42
  to
• 6:42
  keep
• 6:42
  track
• 6:43
  of
• 6:43
  all
• 6:43
  the
• 6:43
  stats.
• 6:44
  I
• 6:44
  didn't
• 6:45
  realize
• 6:45
  at
• 6:45
  the
• 6:46
  time
• 6:46
  what
• 6:46
  a
• 6:47
  testament
• 6:47
  that
• 6:47
  was
• 6:48
  to
• 6:48
  his
• 6:48
  belief
• 6:48
  in
• 6:49
  me.
• 6:49
  That
• 6:49
  one,
• 6:49
  I
• 6:50
  belonged,
• 6:50
  and
• 6:51
  that
• 6:51
  two,
• 6:51
  I
• 6:51
  was
• 6:52
  really
• 6:52
  smart
• 6:52
  and
• 6:53
  that
• 6:53
  I
• 6:53
  could
• 6:53
  be
• 6:53
  included
• 6:54
  in
• 6:54
  this.
• 6:54
  That
• 6:55
  was
• 6:55
  a
• 6:55
  very
• 6:55
  seminal
• 6:56
  moment
• 6:56
  for
• 6:56
  me.
• 6:56
  I'm
• 6:56
  a
• 6:56
  little
• 6:57
  bit
• 6:57
  of
• 6:57
  a
• 6:57
  tomboy
• 6:57
  growing
• 6:58
  up
• 6:58
  with
• 6:58
  the
• 6:58
  boys
• 6:58
  in
• 6:58
  sports.
• 7:00
  And
• 7:00
  I
• 7:00
  grew
• 7:01
  up
• 7:02
  with
• 7:03
  greater
• 7:03
  confidence
• 7:05
  because
• 7:05
  my
• 7:06
  dad
• 7:06
  was
• 7:06
  constantly
• 7:07
  affirming
• 7:08
  that
• 7:08
  I
• 7:08
  was
• 7:08
  there
• 7:08
  and
• 7:09
  I
• 7:09
  was
• 7:09
  smart
• 7:09
  enough.
• 7:09
  And
• 7:10
  there
• 7:10
  were
• 7:10
  times
• 7:10
  when
• 7:10
  I
• 7:10
  was
• 7:11
  confused
• 7:11
  by
• 7:12
  how
• 7:12
  the
• 7:12
  whole
• 7:12
  thing
• 7:12
  worked
• 7:13
  and
• 7:13
  I
• 7:13
  was
• 7:13
  learning
• 7:13
  and
• 7:14
  trying
• 7:14
  to
• 7:14
  keep
• 7:14
  track
• 7:14
  of
• 7:14
  it.
• 7:15
  He
• 7:15
  was
• 7:15
  never,
• 7:16
  oh,
• 7:17
  you
• 7:17
  can't
• 7:17
  do
• 7:17
  this.
• 7:17
  Oh,
• 7:18
  you're
• 7:18
  not
• 7:18
  smart
• 7:18
  enough.
• 7:18
  It
• 7:19
  was
• 7:19
  the
• 7:19
  exact
• 7:19
  opposite.
• 7:20
  He's
• 7:20
  like,
• 7:20
  you
• 7:20
  can
• 7:20
  figure
• 7:21
  this
• 7:21
  out.
• 7:21
  You
• 7:21
  can
• 7:22
  do
• 7:22
  this.
• 7:22
  He
• 7:22
  would
• 7:23
  check
• 7:23
  in
• 7:23
  on
• 7:23
  me
• 7:23
  on
• 7:24
  occasion.
• 7:24
  But
• 7:24
  I
• 7:25
  think
• 7:25
  there's
• 7:25
  something
• 7:26
  so
• 7:26
  powerful
• 7:27
  about
• 7:28
  a
• 7:28
  strong
• 7:29
  parental
• 7:29
  or
• 7:30
  caregiving
• 7:30
  figure
• 7:31
  that
• 7:31
  says,
• 7:32
  you're
• 7:32
  amazing.
• 7:33
  There's
• 7:34
  a
• 7:34
  very
• 7:34
  solid
• 7:35
  foundation
• 7:35
  of
• 7:36
  confidence
• 7:36
  in
• 7:36
  that.
• 7:36
  So
• 7:37
  I
• 7:37
  would
• 7:37
  say
• 7:37
  that
• 7:37
  was
• 7:37
  the
• 7:37
  first
• 7:37
  seminal
• 7:38
  moment
• 7:38
  for
• 7:38
  me
• 7:39
  without
• 7:40
  realizing
• 7:40
  it
• 7:41
  at
• 7:41
  the
• 7:41
  time.
• 7:42
  The
• 7:43
  second
• 7:44
  game
• 7:45
  changer
• 7:45
  would
• 7:45
  be
• 7:45
  more
• 7:45
  the
• 7:46
  shattering.
• 7:46
  I
• 7:47
  rebelled
• 7:47
  later
• 7:47
  in
• 7:48
  life,
• 7:48
  got
• 7:49
  married
• 7:49
  really
• 7:49
  young,
• 7:50
  divorced
• 7:51
  two
• 7:51
  years
• 7:52
  and
• 7:52
  27
• 7:52
  days
• 7:53
  after
• 7:53
  that
• 7:53
  marriage,
• 7:53
  not
• 7:54
  counting.
• 7:54
  And
• 7:54
  I
• 7:55
  moved
• 7:55
  to
• 7:55
  Shanghai.
• 7:56
  It
• 7:57
  was
• 7:57
  the
• 7:57
  furthest
• 7:57
  place
• 7:58
  in
• 7:58
  the
• 7:58
  world
• 7:58
  for
• 7:58
  me
• 7:58
  to
• 7:58
  go
• 7:59
  to
• 7:59
  figure
• 7:59
  out
• 7:59
  who
• 7:59
  I
• 7:59
  was
• 8:00
  going
• 8:00
  to
• 8:00
  really
• 8:00
  be
• 8:00
  in
• 8:00
  this
• 8:01
  world.
• 8:01
  And
• 8:02
  so
• 8:02
  16,000
• 8:03
  miles
• 8:04
  around
• 8:04
  the
• 8:04
  globe,
• 8:05
  I
• 8:05
  walked
• 8:06
  into
• 8:06
  a
• 8:06
  culture.
• 8:07
  I
• 8:07
  didn't
• 8:07
  speak
• 8:07
  the
• 8:07
  language.
• 8:08
  I
• 8:09
  worked
• 8:09
  for
• 8:10
  our
• 8:10
  international
• 8:11
  school
• 8:11
  system.
• 8:11
  Unlike
• 8:12
  DoD,
• 8:12
  this
• 8:13
  was.
• 8:13
  If
• 8:14
  a
• 8:14
  company
• 8:15
  had
• 8:15
  an
• 8:15
  executive
• 8:16
  with
• 8:16
  children,
• 8:16
  those
• 8:17
  children
• 8:17
  had
• 8:17
  to
• 8:17
  go
• 8:17
  to
• 8:17
  school
• 8:18
  somewhere
• 8:18
  and
• 8:19
  in
• 8:19
  that
• 8:19
  part
• 8:20
  of
• 8:20
  the
• 8:20
  world.
• 8:20
  So
• 8:21
  I
• 8:21
  grew
• 8:21
  up
• 8:21
  in
• 8:21
  an
• 8:21
  international
• 8:22
  community
• 8:22
  in
• 8:23
  my
• 8:23
  20s,
• 8:23
  I
• 8:23
  grew
• 8:24
  up
• 8:24
  there
• 8:24
  for
• 8:24
  real.
• 8:25
  I
• 8:25
  understood
• 8:26
  my
• 8:26
  place
• 8:26
  in
• 8:26
  the
• 8:26
  world.
• 8:27
  I
• 8:27
  understood
• 8:28
  geopolitics
• 8:29
  and
• 8:29
  cultural
• 8:30
  differences.
• 8:31
  It
• 8:31
  was
• 8:31
  a
• 8:31
  blossoming
• 8:32
  for
• 8:32
  me.
• 8:32
  I
• 8:32
  would
• 8:32
  say
• 8:33
  that
• 8:33
  was
• 8:33
  another
• 8:33
  real
• 8:33
  strong
• 8:34
  inflection
• 8:34
  point
• 8:34
  in
• 8:35
  my
• 8:35
  life.
• 8:37
  I've
• 8:37
  been
• 8:37
  to
• 8:37
  Asia
• 8:38
  a
• 8:38
  couple
• 8:38
  of
• 8:39
  times,
• 8:39
  and
• 8:39
  it
• 8:39
  is
• 8:40
  so
• 8:40
  different
• 8:41
  than
• 8:41
  the
• 8:41
  West.
• 8:41
  As
• 8:42
  a
• 8:42
  young
• 8:42
  person
• 8:43
  by
• 8:43
  yourself,
• 8:44
  just
• 8:45
  having
• 8:45
  left
• 8:46
  a
• 8:46
  marriage,
• 8:47
  you
• 8:47
  must
• 8:47
  have
• 8:47
  been
• 8:47
  learning
• 8:48
  and
• 8:48
  learning
• 8:48
  and
• 8:48
  learning.
• 8:49
  At
• 8:49
  that
• 8:49
  time
• 8:50
  I
• 8:50
  was.
• 8:50
  And
• 8:51
  it
• 8:51
  was
• 8:51
  one
• 8:52
  of
• 8:52
  those
• 8:52
  Things
• 8:52
  where
• 8:53
  a
• 8:54
  lot
• 8:54
  of
• 8:54
  people
• 8:54
  are
• 8:54
  like,
• 8:54
  you're
• 8:55
  crazy,
• 8:55
  like
• 8:55
  you're
• 8:56
  running
• 8:56
  away.
• 8:56
  And
• 8:56
  I
• 8:56
  was
• 8:56
  like,
• 8:56
  I'm
• 8:57
  totally
• 8:57
  running
• 8:57
  away.
• 8:59
  But
• 8:59
  to
• 8:59
  a
• 8:59
  place
• 9:00
  where
• 9:00
  I
• 9:00
  have
• 9:01
  to
• 9:01
  figure
• 9:01
  out
• 9:01
  who
• 9:01
  I
• 9:02
  am
• 9:02
  rather
• 9:03
  than
• 9:03
  my
• 9:04
  culture
• 9:04
  telling
• 9:04
  me
• 9:04
  who
• 9:05
  I
• 9:05
  am,
• 9:05
  my
• 9:06
  own
• 9:06
  family
• 9:06
  telling
• 9:06
  me
• 9:06
  who
• 9:07
  I
• 9:07
  am,
• 9:07
  an
• 9:08
  ex
• 9:08
  who
• 9:08
  was
• 9:08
  trying
• 9:08
  to
• 9:09
  tell
• 9:09
  me
• 9:09
  who
• 9:09
  I
• 9:09
  was
• 9:09
  that
• 9:10
  I
• 9:10
  just
• 9:10
  wasn't.
• 9:11
  And
• 9:11
  so
• 9:12
  I
• 9:12
  got
• 9:12
  to,
• 9:13
  in
• 9:13
  a
• 9:13
  safe
• 9:14
  way,
• 9:14
  in
• 9:15
  an
• 9:15
  international
• 9:15
  community,
• 9:17
  be
• 9:17
  like,
• 9:17
  well
• 9:17
  then
• 9:17
  who
• 9:18
  am
• 9:18
  I
• 9:18
  going
• 9:18
  to
• 9:18
  be?
• 9:19
  And
• 9:19
  of
• 9:19
  course
• 9:19
  there
• 9:19
  have
• 9:20
  been
• 9:20
  iterations
• 9:20
  since
• 9:21
  then.
• 9:21
  I
• 9:21
  don't
• 9:21
  have
• 9:21
  any
• 9:22
  hang
• 9:22
  ups
• 9:22
  on
• 9:22
  saying
• 9:23
  that
• 9:23
  I'm
• 9:23
  50.
• 9:23
  There
• 9:24
  are
• 9:24
  a
• 9:24
  lot
• 9:24
  of
• 9:24
  iterations
• 9:25
  along
• 9:25
  the
• 9:25
  way.
• 9:25
  I'm
• 9:26
  glad
• 9:27
  that
• 9:27
  who
• 9:27
  you
• 9:27
  are
• 9:28
  in
• 9:28
  your
• 9:28
  20s
• 9:28
  is
• 9:28
  not
• 9:29
  who
• 9:29
  you
• 9:29
  are
• 9:29
  in
• 9:29
  your
• 9:29
  30s,
• 9:30
  who's
• 9:30
  not
• 9:30
  who
• 9:30
  you
• 9:30
  are
• 9:30
  in
• 9:31
  your
• 9:31
  40s.
• 9:31
  And
• 9:31
  I'm
• 9:31
  sure
• 9:31
  I'll
• 9:32
  be
• 9:32
  saying
• 9:32
  the
• 9:32
  same
• 9:32
  thing
• 9:33
  in
• 9:33
  my
• 9:33
  60s.
• 9:34
  I
• 9:34
  love
• 9:34
  the
• 9:34
  evolution.
• 9:36
  I
• 9:36
  think
• 9:36
  that's
• 9:37
  part
• 9:37
  of
• 9:38
  what
• 9:39
  gets,
• 9:39
  especially
• 9:40
  as
• 9:40
  women,
• 9:40
  we
• 9:40
  just
• 9:41
  get
• 9:41
  better
• 9:41
  and
• 9:41
  better.
• 9:42
  We're
• 9:42
  aware
• 9:43
  of
• 9:43
  it
• 9:43
  and
• 9:43
  it's
• 9:44
  so
• 9:44
  rich
• 9:44
  and
• 9:45
  wonderful.
• 9:45
  The
• 9:45
  older
• 9:46
  we
• 9:46
  get,
• 9:46
  the
• 9:46
  more
• 9:46
  we
• 9:46
  value
• 9:47
  and
• 9:48
  know
• 9:48
  ourselves.
• 9:49
  So
• 9:49
  you
• 9:49
  had
• 9:50
  a
• 9:50
  strong
• 9:51
  parental
• 9:51
  figure
• 9:52
  at
• 9:53
  those
• 9:53
  early
• 9:53
  moments
• 9:54
  and
• 9:54
  then
• 9:54
  you
• 9:54
  had
• 9:54
  the
• 9:54
  shatter
• 9:55
  moment
• 9:56
  of
• 9:56
  divorce
• 9:57
  and
• 9:57
  moving
• 9:57
  to
• 9:58
  Shanghai
• 9:58
  and
• 9:58
  figuring
• 9:59
  yourself
• 9:59
  out
• 9:59
  what
• 9:59
  would
• 10:00
  be
• 10:00
  a
• 10:00
  last
• 10:00
  moment
• 10:01
  you
• 10:01
  could
• 10:01
  share.
• 10:01
  Yeah.
• 10:01
  I
• 10:01
  moved
• 10:02
  from
• 10:02
  Shanghai
• 10:02
  to
• 10:02
  London
• 10:03
  and
• 10:03
  worked
• 10:03
  for
• 10:05
  a
• 10:05
  billion
• 10:05
  dollar
• 10:06
  consumer
• 10:06
  product
• 10:06
  company.
• 10:07
  And
• 10:08
  I
• 10:08
  realized
• 10:09
  after
• 10:09
  two
• 10:09
  years
• 10:09
  that
• 10:10
  I
• 10:10
  really
• 10:10
  wasn't
• 10:10
  wired
• 10:11
  for
• 10:11
  corporate.
• 10:12
  I
• 10:12
  had
• 10:12
  this
• 10:13
  vision
• 10:13
  in
• 10:13
  China
• 10:14
  that
• 10:15
  I
• 10:15
  would
• 10:15
  be
• 10:15
  in
• 10:15
  this
• 10:15
  pinstripe
• 10:16
  power
• 10:16
  suit,
• 10:17
  standing
• 10:17
  in
• 10:17
  front
• 10:18
  of
• 10:18
  the
• 10:18
  boardroom
• 10:19
  and
• 10:19
  I
• 10:19
  made
• 10:19
  that
• 10:20
  vision
• 10:20
  come
• 10:20
  true.
• 10:21
  Hello.
• 10:24
  And
• 10:24
  then
• 10:24
  I
• 10:24
  realized,
• 10:25
  but
• 10:25
  this
• 10:26
  isn't
• 10:26
  me.
• 10:27
  I
• 10:27
  am
• 10:27
  not
• 10:27
  this
• 10:28
  person.
• 10:28
  That
• 10:28
  was
• 10:28
  when
• 10:29
  I
• 10:29
  made
• 10:30
  probably
• 10:30
  more
• 10:30
  brave
• 10:31
  than
• 10:31
  even
• 10:31
  moving
• 10:32
  to
• 10:32
  Shanghai.
• 10:32
  I
• 10:33
  left
• 10:33
  London,
• 10:34
  returned
• 10:34
  to
• 10:34
  the
• 10:34
  United
• 10:35
  States
• 10:35
  to
• 10:36
  start
• 10:36
  my
• 10:36
  own
• 10:36
  business,
• 10:37
  to
• 10:38
  be
• 10:38
  an
• 10:38
  entrepreneur.
• 10:39
  Here's
• 10:39
  the
• 10:39
  interesting
• 10:40
  thing.
• 10:40
  I
• 10:40
  had
• 10:41
  a
• 10:41
  lot
• 10:41
  of
• 10:41
  men
• 10:42
  around
• 10:42
  me
• 10:42
  tell
• 10:43
  me,
• 10:43
  you're
• 10:43
  not
• 10:44
  strong
• 10:44
  enough,
• 10:44
  you're
• 10:45
  not
• 10:45
  smart
• 10:45
  enough,
• 10:46
  you're
• 10:46
  not
• 10:46
  courageous
• 10:47
  enough,
• 10:47
  you're
• 10:47
  not
• 10:48
  creative
• 10:48
  enough.
• 10:48
  I
• 10:49
  mean,
• 10:49
  I
• 10:49
  had
• 10:49
  every
• 10:50
  limiting
• 10:50
  belief
• 10:51
  thrown
• 10:51
  at
• 10:51
  me.
• 10:52
  I
• 10:52
  also
• 10:52
  have
• 10:52
  an
• 10:53
  amazing
• 10:53
  mother.
• 10:53
  I
• 10:54
  called
• 10:54
  my
• 10:54
  parents
• 10:54
  and
• 10:54
  I
• 10:55
  said,
• 10:55
  I'm
• 10:55
  thinking
• 10:55
  about
• 10:55
  quitting
• 10:56
  this
• 10:56
  corporate
• 10:57
  job
• 10:57
  that
• 10:57
  I've
• 10:57
  worked
• 10:57
  so
• 10:58
  hard
• 10:58
  for
• 10:58
  and
• 10:59
  coming
• 10:59
  back
• 10:59
  to
• 10:59
  the
• 10:59
  United
• 11:00
  States
• 11:00
  and
• 11:00
  starting
• 11:00
  my
• 11:01
  own
• 11:01
  business.
• 11:01
  And
• 11:02
  my
• 11:02
  parents
• 11:02
  instantly
• 11:03
  said,
• 11:03
  well,
• 11:03
  if
• 11:03
  there's
• 11:04
  anybody
• 11:04
  that
• 11:04
  can
• 11:04
  do
• 11:04
  it,
• 11:05
  it's
• 11:05
  you.
• 11:06
  And
• 11:06
  I
• 11:06
  was
• 11:06
  like,
• 11:07
  oh
• 11:07
  my
• 11:07
  gosh.
• 11:08
  Because
• 11:08
  I
• 11:08
  thought
• 11:08
  I
• 11:09
  was
• 11:09
  going
• 11:09
  to
• 11:09
  get
• 11:09
  all
• 11:09
  this,
• 11:10
  like,
• 11:10
  oh,
• 11:10
  I
• 11:10
  don't
• 11:10
  know,
• 11:11
  be
• 11:11
  safe
• 11:12
  Play
• 11:12
  safe.
• 11:13
  They
• 11:13
  didn't.
• 11:13
  They
• 11:13
  were
• 11:14
  wildly
• 11:14
  confirming
• 11:15
  of
• 11:15
  me.
• 11:15
  So
• 11:16
  it
• 11:16
  was
• 11:16
  just
• 11:16
  great.
• 11:16
  So
• 11:16
  I
• 11:17
  moved
• 11:17
  back
• 11:17
  and
• 11:17
  of
• 11:17
  course,
• 11:18
  it
• 11:18
  was
• 11:18
  a
• 11:18
  lot
• 11:18
  harder
• 11:19
  than
• 11:19
  I
• 11:19
  anticipated.
• 11:20
  A
• 11:21
  lot
• 11:21
  harder.
• 11:22
  But
• 11:22
  here
• 11:22
  we
• 11:22
  are.
• 11:23
  So
• 11:23
  we
• 11:23
  will
• 11:23
  be
• 11:24
  25
• 11:25
  years
• 11:26
  old
• 11:26
  this
• 11:26
  December.
• 11:28
  That's
• 11:28
  awesome.
• 11:29
  To
• 11:29
  be
• 11:29
  in
• 11:29
  it
• 11:29
  for
• 11:29
  25
• 11:30
  years
• 11:31
  and
• 11:31
  having
• 11:31
  that
• 11:32
  incredible
• 11:33
  experience.
• 11:33
  I
• 11:34
  feel
• 11:34
  like
• 11:34
  those
• 11:34
  of
• 11:35
  us
• 11:35
  who
• 11:35
  were
• 11:36
  born
• 11:36
  as
• 11:36
  founders,
• 11:37
  it
• 11:37
  was
• 11:37
  a
• 11:37
  calling.
• 11:38
  We
• 11:38
  don't
• 11:38
  have
• 11:38
  a
• 11:38
  choice.
• 11:39
  I
• 11:39
  wish
• 11:39
  I
• 11:40
  had
• 11:40
  wanted
• 11:40
  to
• 11:40
  go
• 11:40
  be
• 11:41
  in
• 11:41
  corporate
• 11:41
  because
• 11:41
  it
• 11:41
  would
• 11:42
  have.
• 11:42
  Been
• 11:42
  easier
• 11:43
  in
• 11:43
  a
• 11:43
  lot
• 11:43
  of
• 11:44
  ways.
• 11:44
  Right.
• 11:44
  You
• 11:45
  just
• 11:45
  fall
• 11:46
  into
• 11:46
  a
• 11:46
  structure.
• 11:47
  You
• 11:47
  follow
• 11:48
  a
• 11:48
  process,
• 11:49
  and
• 11:49
  as
• 11:49
  long
• 11:49
  as
• 11:49
  you
• 11:50
  play
• 11:50
  according
• 11:50
  to
• 11:50
  the
• 11:50
  rules,
• 11:51
  you
• 11:51
  can
• 11:51
  kind
• 11:51
  of
• 11:52
  get
• 11:52
  there.
• 11:52
  Right.
• 11:53
  But
• 11:53
  not
• 11:53
  with
• 11:53
  entrepreneurship.
• 11:54
  It's
• 11:55
  tough,
• 11:55
  and
• 11:56
  it's
• 11:56
  wonderful.
• 11:56
  It's
• 11:57
  the
• 11:57
  best
• 11:57
  thing
• 11:57
  in
• 11:57
  the
• 11:57
  world
• 11:58
  if
• 11:58
  you're
• 11:58
  designed
• 11:59
  to
• 11:59
  be
• 11:59
  an
• 11:59
  entrepreneur.
• 12:00
  Yep.
• 12:01
  So
• 12:01
  I
• 12:01
  love
• 12:01
  that.
• 12:02
  And
• 12:02
  this
• 12:02
  brings
• 12:03
  me
• 12:03
  to
• 12:03
  your
• 12:03
  book,
• 12:04
  because
• 12:05
  this
• 12:05
  book,
• 12:05
  ladies
• 12:06
  and
• 12:06
  gentlemen
• 12:06
  who
• 12:07
  are
• 12:07
  listening,
• 12:07
  get
• 12:08
  it
• 12:08
  Five
• 12:09
  steps
• 12:09
  to
• 12:10
  the
• 12:10
  sex,
• 12:10
  salary,
• 12:11
  and
• 12:11
  success
• 12:12
  you
• 12:12
  want.
• 12:13
  This
• 12:13
  book
• 12:14
  is
• 12:14
  so
• 12:15
  fun
• 12:15
  and
• 12:16
  engaging.
• 12:17
  And
• 12:17
  let's
• 12:17
  see
• 12:17
  if
• 12:17
  I
• 12:17
  can
• 12:18
  get
• 12:18
  it
• 12:18
  in
• 12:18
  there.
• 12:18
  There
• 12:18
  we
• 12:18
  go.
• 12:19
  It's
• 12:19
  so
• 12:20
  fun
• 12:20
  and
• 12:20
  so
• 12:21
  engaging,
• 12:21
  and
• 12:21
  it's
• 12:22
  really
• 12:22
  good
• 12:23
  stuff.
• 12:24
  It's
• 12:24
  about
• 12:24
  having
• 12:25
  these
• 12:25
  hard
• 12:25
  conversations
• 12:27
  that
• 12:28
  propel
• 12:28
  your
• 12:29
  life
• 12:29
  forward.
• 12:29
  And
• 12:30
  Amy
• 12:31
  Kay
• 12:31
  is
• 12:31
  irreverent
• 12:32
  and
• 12:33
  funny
• 12:34
  and
• 12:34
  honest,
• 12:36
  and
• 12:36
  it
• 12:36
  just
• 12:36
  softens
• 12:37
  the
• 12:37
  edges
• 12:37
  as
• 12:38
  you
• 12:38
  think
• 12:38
  about
• 12:39
  some
• 12:39
  of
• 12:39
  these
• 12:39
  things.
• 12:40
  So
• 12:41
  I
• 12:41
  want
• 12:41
  to
• 12:42
  come
• 12:42
  back
• 12:42
  to.
• 12:42
  This
• 12:42
  thing
• 12:42
  about
• 12:43
  thinking
• 12:43
  you
• 12:44
  wanted
• 12:45
  to
• 12:45
  be
• 12:45
  in
• 12:45
  corporate
• 12:46
  and
• 12:47
  then
• 12:47
  realizing,
• 12:49
  no,
• 12:49
  this
• 12:49
  isn't
• 12:49
  for
• 12:50
  me.
• 12:50
  And
• 12:51
  so
• 12:51
  you
• 12:52
  have
• 12:52
  in
• 12:53
  your
• 12:53
  book
• 12:53
  five
• 12:53
  different
• 12:54
  areas,
• 12:55
  but
• 12:55
  the
• 12:55
  first
• 12:55
  thing
• 12:55
  you
• 12:56
  talk
• 12:56
  about
• 12:56
  is
• 12:56
  clarifying
• 12:57
  what
• 12:57
  you
• 12:58
  want
• 12:59
  and
• 12:59
  what
• 13:00
  a
• 13:00
  life
• 13:00
  journey
• 13:01
  that
• 13:01
  is
• 13:01
  in
• 13:02
  and
• 13:02
  of
• 13:02
  itself.
• 13:03
  Tell
• 13:03
  us
• 13:03
  about
• 13:04
  this.
• 13:05
  Tell
• 13:05
  us
• 13:05
  about
• 13:05
  clarifying
• 13:06
  what
• 13:06
  you
• 13:07
  want.
• 13:07
  How
• 13:07
  we
• 13:08
  can
• 13:08
  name
• 13:08
  and
• 13:08
  identify
• 13:09
  better
• 13:09
  what
• 13:09
  we
• 13:09
  want
• 13:10
  so
• 13:10
  we
• 13:10
  can
• 13:10
  actually
• 13:10
  have
• 13:11
  it.
• 13:12
  There's
• 13:13
  a
• 13:13
  lot
• 13:13
  of
• 13:13
  noise.
• 13:14
  The
• 13:14
  world
• 13:15
  is
• 13:15
  telling
• 13:15
  you
• 13:15
  who
• 13:15
  you
• 13:16
  should
• 13:16
  be
• 13:16
  all
• 13:16
  the
• 13:17
  time.
• 13:17
  What's
• 13:18
  ironic
• 13:18
  about
• 13:19
  advertising,
• 13:20
  and
• 13:20
  this
• 13:20
  is
• 13:20
  not
• 13:21
  some
• 13:21
  new
• 13:22
  revelation.
• 13:22
  Everybody
• 13:23
  knows
• 13:23
  this.
• 13:24
  Advertising
• 13:25
  wants
• 13:25
  you
• 13:25
  to
• 13:25
  feel
• 13:25
  bad
• 13:26
  before
• 13:26
  you
• 13:26
  feel
• 13:26
  better.
• 13:27
  Marketing
• 13:28
  tends
• 13:28
  to
• 13:28
  say,
• 13:29
  look,
• 13:29
  you're
• 13:30
  not
• 13:30
  pretty
• 13:30
  enough
• 13:30
  until
• 13:31
  you
• 13:31
  use
• 13:31
  this
• 13:31
  product.
• 13:32
  You're
• 13:32
  not
• 13:32
  smart
• 13:32
  enough
• 13:33
  until
• 13:33
  you
• 13:33
  buy
• 13:33
  this
• 13:34
  software
• 13:34
  program.
• 13:34
  And
• 13:35
  so
• 13:36
  there
• 13:36
  is
• 13:36
  a
• 13:36
  lot
• 13:37
  of
• 13:37
  mixed
• 13:37
  messaging
• 13:38
  out
• 13:38
  there.
• 13:38
  I
• 13:38
  remember
• 13:39
  as
• 13:39
  a
• 13:39
  kid
• 13:39
  standing
• 13:40
  in
• 13:40
  the
• 13:40
  grocery
• 13:40
  line,
• 13:41
  seeing
• 13:41
  the
• 13:42
  magazine
• 13:42
  cover
• 13:42
  that
• 13:43
  would
• 13:43
  be
• 13:43
  like,
• 13:43
  lose
• 13:44
  10
• 13:44
  pounds
• 13:44
  by
• 13:45
  Thursday.
• 13:45
  And
• 13:45
  then
• 13:46
  right
• 13:46
  underneath
• 13:46
  it,
• 13:46
  the
• 13:47
  most
• 13:47
  fabulous
• 13:47
  chocolate
• 13:48
  cake
• 13:48
  recipe
• 13:48
  you'll
• 13:48
  ever
• 13:48
  have
• 13:49
  in
• 13:49
  your
• 13:49
  entire
• 13:49
  life.
• 13:50
  I
• 13:50
  remember
• 13:50
  thinking,
• 13:50
  that
• 13:51
  doesn't
• 13:51
  actually
• 13:51
  go
• 13:51
  together.
• 13:52
  And
• 13:53
  we
• 13:53
  get
• 13:54
  trained
• 13:55
  to
• 13:55
  Hear
• 13:55
  the
• 13:56
  noise
• 13:56
  clarifying
• 13:57
  what
• 13:57
  you
• 13:57
  want
• 13:58
  is
• 13:58
  that.
• 13:59
  Can
• 13:59
  you
• 14:00
  step
• 14:00
  out
• 14:00
  of
• 14:00
  your
• 14:00
  ego
• 14:01
  long
• 14:01
  enough?
• 14:01
  The
• 14:02
  ego
• 14:02
  is
• 14:02
  great
• 14:03
  for
• 14:03
  writing
• 14:04
  an
• 14:04
  injustice,
• 14:05
  but
• 14:05
  the
• 14:05
  ego
• 14:06
  is
• 14:06
  also
• 14:06
  keeping
• 14:07
  you
• 14:07
  small.
• 14:08
  The
• 14:08
  ego
• 14:08
  wants
• 14:09
  you
• 14:09
  to
• 14:09
  play
• 14:09
  safe.
• 14:10
  The
• 14:10
  ego
• 14:11
  wants
• 14:11
  you
• 14:11
  to
• 14:12
  feel
• 14:12
  like
• 14:13
  your
• 14:13
  best
• 14:13
  version,
• 14:14
  but
• 14:14
  that's
• 14:14
  a
• 14:14
  very
• 14:14
  small
• 14:15
  version
• 14:15
  of
• 14:15
  who
• 14:15
  you
• 14:16
  are.
• 14:16
  The
• 14:16
  ego
• 14:17
  can
• 14:17
  also
• 14:17
  be
• 14:18
  very
• 14:18
  pernicious
• 14:19
  in
• 14:19
  casting
• 14:19
  doubt
• 14:21
  and
• 14:22
  shame
• 14:23
  and
• 14:24
  guilt
• 14:25
  and
• 14:25
  all
• 14:25
  these
• 14:25
  other
• 14:26
  sensitive
• 14:26
  emotions.
• 14:27
  For
• 14:27
  me,
• 14:27
  the
• 14:28
  most
• 14:28
  important
• 14:28
  conversation
• 14:29
  that
• 14:30
  you
• 14:30
  have
• 14:30
  with
• 14:30
  yourself
• 14:31
  is,
• 14:31
  what
• 14:32
  does
• 14:32
  my
• 14:32
  heart
• 14:32
  want?
• 14:34
  Not
• 14:34
  what
• 14:34
  my
• 14:34
  ego
• 14:35
  says
• 14:35
  I
• 14:35
  should
• 14:35
  do
• 14:35
  or
• 14:36
  how
• 14:36
  I
• 14:36
  should
• 14:36
  feel,
• 14:36
  but
• 14:36
  what
• 14:37
  does
• 14:37
  my
• 14:37
  heart
• 14:37
  really
• 14:37
  want?
• 14:38
  For
• 14:38
  women
• 14:38
  especially,
• 14:40
  that
• 14:40
  can
• 14:40
  be
• 14:41
  really
• 14:41
  hard
• 14:41
  to
• 14:42
  hear.
• 14:43
  We
• 14:44
  can
• 14:44
  be
• 14:44
  like,
• 14:44
  oh,
• 14:44
  well,
• 14:44
  I
• 14:44
  should
• 14:45
  be
• 14:45
  the
• 14:45
  good
• 14:45
  girl,
• 14:45
  or
• 14:46
  I
• 14:46
  should
• 14:46
  follow
• 14:46
  this
• 14:47
  or
• 14:47
  I
• 14:47
  should
• 14:47
  do
• 14:47
  that.
• 14:48
  Your
• 14:48
  heart
• 14:50
  will
• 14:50
  continue
• 14:51
  to
• 14:51
  tend
• 14:51
  the
• 14:51
  fire.
• 14:52
  It
• 14:53
  will
• 14:53
  continue
• 14:53
  to
• 14:53
  keep
• 14:54
  your
• 14:54
  life
• 14:54
  force
• 14:54
  lit,
• 14:55
  but
• 14:55
  sometimes
• 14:55
  it'll
• 14:56
  take
• 14:56
  a
• 14:56
  backseat
• 14:56
  while
• 14:57
  your
• 14:57
  ego
• 14:57
  just
• 14:57
  dominates
• 14:58
  and
• 14:58
  trashes
• 14:58
  the
• 14:59
  house.
• 14:59
  But
• 15:00
  if
• 15:00
  you
• 15:00
  can
• 15:00
  slow
• 15:00
  down
• 15:01
  long
• 15:01
  enough
• 15:01
  to
• 15:01
  say,
• 15:02
  what
• 15:02
  is
• 15:02
  it
• 15:02
  that
• 15:02
  I
• 15:03
  really
• 15:03
  want?
• 15:03
  What
• 15:03
  am
• 15:04
  I
• 15:04
  called
• 15:04
  to
• 15:04
  do?
• 15:04
  How
• 15:05
  do
• 15:05
  I
• 15:05
  want
• 15:05
  to
• 15:05
  play
• 15:05
  in
• 15:05
  the
• 15:06
  world?
• 15:06
  That's
• 15:06
  a
• 15:07
  very
• 15:07
  powerful
• 15:08
  thing
• 15:08
  course.
• 15:09
  And
• 15:09
  so
• 15:09
  to
• 15:09
  me,
• 15:10
  it
• 15:10
  was
• 15:10
  the
• 15:10
  I
• 15:10
  still
• 15:11
  want
• 15:11
  to
• 15:11
  teach.
• 15:11
  I
• 15:11
  still
• 15:11
  want
• 15:12
  to
• 15:12
  train.
• 15:12
  I
• 15:12
  was
• 15:13
  a
• 15:13
  frustrated
• 15:13
  actress.
• 15:14
  It's
• 15:14
  like,
• 15:14
  I
• 15:14
  want
• 15:14
  to
• 15:14
  be
• 15:14
  on
• 15:15
  stage.
• 15:15
  And
• 15:16
  I
• 15:16
  found
• 15:16
  a
• 15:16
  way
• 15:17
  to
• 15:17
  do
• 15:17
  it
• 15:17
  through
• 15:17
  speaking
• 15:18
  and
• 15:18
  training,
• 15:19
  but
• 15:19
  I
• 15:20
  didn't
• 15:20
  want
• 15:20
  to
• 15:20
  do
• 15:20
  it
• 15:21
  under
• 15:21
  the
• 15:21
  thumb
• 15:22
  of
• 15:23
  some
• 15:23
  corporate
• 15:24
  entity.
• 15:24
  And
• 15:24
  I'm
• 15:24
  not
• 15:25
  wired
• 15:25
  to
• 15:25
  sit
• 15:25
  at
• 15:25
  a
• 15:25
  desk.
• 15:26
  And
• 15:27
  so
• 15:27
  to
• 15:27
  me,
• 15:27
  it
• 15:27
  was
• 15:27
  already
• 15:28
  the,
• 15:28
  I
• 15:28
  can't
• 15:29
  do
• 15:29
  this.
• 15:29
  I
• 15:29
  can't
• 15:29
  sit
• 15:30
  at
• 15:30
  a
• 15:30
  desk
• 15:30
  from
• 15:30
  9
• 15:31
  to
• 15:31
  5.
• 15:31
  I
• 15:32
  can't
• 15:32
  play
• 15:32
  this
• 15:33
  good
• 15:33
  girl.
• 15:34
  I
• 15:34
  don't
• 15:34
  like
• 15:35
  working
• 15:35
  my
• 15:35
  ass
• 15:36
  off
• 15:36
  to
• 15:37
  have
• 15:37
  somebody
• 15:37
  come
• 15:37
  along
• 15:38
  and
• 15:38
  say,
• 15:38
  well,
• 15:38
  we're
• 15:38
  going
• 15:38
  to
• 15:39
  give
• 15:39
  you
• 15:39
  a
• 15:39
  4
• 15:39
  out
• 15:39
  of
• 15:40
  5
• 15:40
  on
• 15:40
  your
• 15:40
  annual
• 15:41
  review
• 15:41
  in
• 15:41
  this
• 15:41
  one
• 15:42
  particular
• 15:42
  area
• 15:43
  because
• 15:43
  we
• 15:43
  need
• 15:43
  you
• 15:43
  to
• 15:43
  have
• 15:44
  room
• 15:44
  for
• 15:44
  improvement.
• 15:45
  And
• 15:45
  I
• 15:45
  was
• 15:45
  sort
• 15:45
  of
• 15:46
  like,
• 15:46
  you
• 15:46
  don't
• 15:46
  know
• 15:47
  how
• 15:47
  much
• 15:47
  you
• 15:47
  just
• 15:47
  demotivated
• 15:48
  me.
• 15:49
  All
• 15:49
  of
• 15:49
  that
• 15:49
  was
• 15:50
  going
• 15:50
  on
• 15:50
  on
• 15:50
  the
• 15:50
  inside,
• 15:51
  while
• 15:51
  I
• 15:51
  looked
• 15:52
  like
• 15:52
  on
• 15:52
  the
• 15:52
  outside,
• 15:53
  everything
• 15:54
  was
• 15:54
  going
• 15:54
  well.
• 15:54
  I
• 15:54
  had
• 15:55
  the
• 15:55
  pinstripe
• 15:55
  suit.
• 15:55
  I
• 15:55
  was
• 15:56
  standing
• 15:56
  for
• 15:56
  the
• 15:56
  board.
• 15:56
  I
• 15:56
  was
• 15:57
  starting
• 15:57
  to
• 15:57
  speak.
• 15:57
  Sales
• 15:58
  were
• 15:58
  skyrocketing.
• 15:59
  The
• 15:59
  more
• 15:59
  that
• 15:59
  I
• 15:59
  trained
• 16:00
  externally,
• 16:01
  it
• 16:01
  looked
• 16:01
  great.
• 16:02
  Internally,
• 16:03
  it
• 16:03
  was
• 16:03
  like,
• 16:04
  I
• 16:04
  am
• 16:04
  so
• 16:04
  misaligned,
• 16:05
  and
• 16:05
  I
• 16:06
  don't
• 16:06
  know
• 16:06
  what
• 16:06
  to
• 16:06
  do
• 16:06
  about
• 16:06
  it.
• 16:08
  In
• 16:08
  your
• 16:09
  book,
• 16:09
  I
• 16:09
  love,
• 16:09
  there's
• 16:10
  a
• 16:10
  series
• 16:10
  of
• 16:11
  exercises
• 16:11
  to
• 16:12
  help
• 16:12
  you
• 16:12
  think
• 16:13
  and
• 16:13
  sort
• 16:13
  of
• 16:13
  strip
• 16:14
  down.
• 16:14
  Sometimes
• 16:15
  we.
• 16:15
  We
• 16:15
  see
• 16:16
  the
• 16:16
  marketing,
• 16:17
  like
• 16:17
  the
• 16:18
  pinside
• 16:18
  striped
• 16:18
  suit
• 16:19
  and.
• 16:19
  And
• 16:19
  we
• 16:20
  see
• 16:20
  something
• 16:20
  in
• 16:21
  that
• 16:21
  person
• 16:23
  that
• 16:23
  we
• 16:23
  think
• 16:23
  we
• 16:24
  want.
• 16:25
  We
• 16:25
  replicate
• 16:26
  the
• 16:26
  idea
• 16:27
  of
• 16:27
  what
• 16:27
  we
• 16:27
  want
• 16:28
  and
• 16:28
  what
• 16:28
  we
• 16:28
  think
• 16:29
  that
• 16:29
  is.
• 16:29
  But
• 16:29
  really
• 16:30
  it's
• 16:30
  not
• 16:30
  necessarily
• 16:32
  the
• 16:32
  corporate
• 16:32
  job.
• 16:33
  It's
• 16:34
  this
• 16:34
  woman
• 16:34
  who
• 16:35
  feels
• 16:35
  empowered,
• 16:36
  brave,
• 16:36
  values
• 16:37
  her
• 16:37
  place
• 16:38
  in
• 16:38
  the
• 16:38
  world,
• 16:39
  making.
• 16:39
  Money,
• 16:40
  and
• 16:40
  who
• 16:40
  has
• 16:40
  autonomy,
• 16:41
  independence
• 16:42
  and
• 16:42
  freedom.
• 16:42
  Danielle
• 16:43
  Laporte,
• 16:43
  let's
• 16:44
  give
• 16:44
  her
• 16:44
  credit,
• 16:44
  she
• 16:44
  put
• 16:45
  the
• 16:45
  desire
• 16:45
  map
• 16:46
  on
• 16:46
  the
• 16:46
  map.
• 16:46
  She
• 16:47
  does
• 16:47
  this
• 16:47
  beautiful
• 16:48
  sort
• 16:48
  of
• 16:48
  jiu
• 16:49
  jitsu,
• 16:49
  which
• 16:50
  is,
• 16:50
  how
• 16:50
  do
• 16:50
  you
• 16:51
  want
• 16:51
  to
• 16:51
  feel?
• 16:52
  Yes.
• 16:52
  And
• 16:52
  then
• 16:52
  based
• 16:52
  on
• 16:52
  those
• 16:53
  feelings,
• 16:53
  how
• 16:53
  do
• 16:54
  you
• 16:54
  want
• 16:54
  to
• 16:54
  map
• 16:55
  out
• 16:55
  your
• 16:55
  life
• 16:55
  and
• 16:55
  your
• 16:56
  core
• 16:56
  objectives,
• 16:57
  desires
• 16:57
  and
• 16:57
  goals?
• 16:58
  And
• 16:58
  so
• 16:59
  that
• 16:59
  was
• 17:00
  really
• 17:00
  that
• 17:00
  seminal
• 17:00
  moment
• 17:01
  of
• 17:01
  what
• 17:01
  do
• 17:01
  I
• 17:01
  want?
• 17:01
  Well,
• 17:02
  I
• 17:02
  want
• 17:02
  freedom.
• 17:03
  And
• 17:03
  freedom
• 17:04
  was
• 17:04
  such
• 17:04
  a
• 17:04
  driver
• 17:04
  for
• 17:05
  me.
• 17:05
  I
• 17:05
  wanted
• 17:05
  autonomy.
• 17:06
  I
• 17:06
  wanted
• 17:06
  control
• 17:07
  over
• 17:07
  my
• 17:07
  schedule.
• 17:08
  I
• 17:09
  also,
• 17:11
  full
• 17:11
  transparency,
• 17:13
  wanted
• 17:13
  to
• 17:13
  work
• 17:14
  really
• 17:14
  hard
• 17:15
  for
• 17:16
  myself
• 17:16
  and
• 17:16
  be
• 17:16
  rewarded
• 17:17
  for
• 17:17
  it.
• 17:18
  Now,
• 17:18
  I
• 17:18
  think
• 17:18
  every
• 17:19
  woman
• 17:19
  entrepreneur
• 17:20
  knows
• 17:20
  that
• 17:20
  not
• 17:21
  all
• 17:21
  years
• 17:21
  are
• 17:21
  created
• 17:22
  equal.
• 17:23
  So
• 17:23
  there
• 17:23
  were
• 17:23
  years
• 17:24
  where
• 17:24
  it
• 17:24
  was
• 17:24
  like,
• 17:24
  okay,
• 17:25
  making
• 17:26
  the
• 17:26
  money.
• 17:26
  And
• 17:26
  there
• 17:27
  were
• 17:27
  other
• 17:27
  years
• 17:27
  where
• 17:28
  it's
• 17:28
  like,
• 17:28
  I
• 17:28
  would
• 17:29
  love
• 17:29
  to
• 17:29
  make
• 17:29
  some
• 17:30
  money.
• 17:30
  So
• 17:32
  you
• 17:33
  get
• 17:33
  a
• 17:33
  little
• 17:33
  bit
• 17:34
  more
• 17:34
  of
• 17:34
  that
• 17:34
  wild
• 17:34
  ride
• 17:35
  instead
• 17:35
  of
• 17:35
  that
• 17:35
  steady
• 17:36
  corporate
• 17:36
  paycheck.
• 17:36
  But
• 17:37
  I
• 17:37
  wouldn't
• 17:37
  trade
• 17:37
  it.
• 17:38
  And
• 17:38
  it's
• 17:39
  clarifying
• 17:39
  what
• 17:40
  you
• 17:40
  want
• 17:40
  and
• 17:40
  then
• 17:41
  realizing
• 17:41
  when
• 17:41
  you're
• 17:42
  in
• 17:42
  it,
• 17:42
  like,
• 17:42
  oh,
• 17:42
  yeah,
• 17:43
  this
• 17:43
  is
• 17:43
  what
• 17:43
  I
• 17:43
  want.
• 17:44
  Like,
• 17:44
  maybe
• 17:44
  this
• 17:45
  moment
• 17:45
  is
• 17:45
  uncomfortable
• 17:46
  because
• 17:47
  I'm
• 17:47
  not
• 17:47
  making
• 17:47
  as
• 17:47
  much
• 17:48
  money
• 17:48
  as
• 17:48
  I
• 17:48
  want,
• 17:49
  but
• 17:49
  the
• 17:49
  bare
• 17:49
  picture
• 17:50
  of
• 17:50
  what
• 17:50
  I
• 17:50
  want
• 17:50
  or
• 17:50
  have
• 17:51
  and
• 17:51
  I'm
• 17:51
  still
• 17:52
  doing
• 17:52
  my
• 17:53
  thing.
• 17:53
  So
• 17:54
  much
• 17:54
  of
• 17:54
  being
• 17:55
  able
• 17:55
  to
• 17:55
  go
• 17:55
  out
• 17:56
  and
• 17:56
  have
• 17:56
  what
• 17:56
  you
• 17:57
  want
• 17:57
  and
• 17:57
  get
• 17:57
  what
• 17:57
  you
• 17:58
  want
• 17:58
  is
• 17:59
  to
• 18:00
  have
• 18:00
  these
• 18:01
  difficult
• 18:02
  conversations
• 18:03
  and
• 18:04
  high
• 18:04
  stakes
• 18:05
  moments
• 18:06
  where
• 18:06
  we
• 18:06
  have
• 18:07
  to
• 18:07
  make
• 18:07
  choices
• 18:08
  and
• 18:08
  ask
• 18:08
  for
• 18:09
  what
• 18:09
  we
• 18:09
  want.
• 18:10
  And
• 18:10
  you
• 18:10
  have
• 18:10
  a
• 18:10
  whole
• 18:11
  section
• 18:11
  on
• 18:12
  what
• 18:13
  we're
• 18:13
  seeking.
• 18:13
  Are
• 18:14
  we
• 18:14
  seeking
• 18:14
  connection
• 18:15
  or
• 18:15
  power?
• 18:17
  And
• 18:17
  you
• 18:17
  say
• 18:18
  we
• 18:18
  must
• 18:19
  choose
• 18:19
  connection
• 18:20
  or
• 18:20
  power,
• 18:20
  but
• 18:20
  not
• 18:21
  both.
• 18:22
  So
• 18:22
  this
• 18:22
  was
• 18:23
  such
• 18:23
  a
• 18:23
  radical
• 18:24
  reframe
• 18:24
  for
• 18:24
  me,
• 18:25
  especially
• 18:25
  when
• 18:26
  women
• 18:26
  are
• 18:26
  taught
• 18:26
  to
• 18:27
  please
• 18:28
  over
• 18:28
  compromise.
• 18:30
  So
• 18:30
  tell
• 18:31
  us
• 18:31
  more
• 18:31
  about
• 18:31
  this
• 18:32
  distinction
• 18:33
  around
• 18:34
  connection
• 18:34
  or
• 18:35
  power
• 18:35
  and
• 18:36
  how
• 18:36
  those
• 18:36
  get
• 18:37
  in
• 18:37
  the
• 18:37
  way
• 18:37
  when
• 18:37
  we're
• 18:37
  asking.
• 18:38
  For
• 18:38
  what
• 18:38
  we
• 18:38
  want,
• 18:38
  want.
• 18:39
  To
• 18:39
  me,
• 18:39
  the
• 18:40
  irony
• 18:40
  is
• 18:41
  that
• 18:41
  it's
• 18:41
  not
• 18:41
  power
• 18:42
  over,
• 18:43
  it's
• 18:43
  power
• 18:44
  with.
• 18:44
  And
• 18:45
  it's
• 18:45
  always
• 18:45
  connection
• 18:46
  first.
• 18:46
  And
• 18:47
  so
• 18:47
  the
• 18:47
  idea
• 18:47
  is
• 18:48
  I
• 18:48
  have
• 18:48
  a
• 18:48
  mantra.
• 18:49
  Soft
• 18:49
  heart,
• 18:49
  firm
• 18:50
  spine.
• 18:50
  Soft
• 18:51
  heart
• 18:51
  means
• 18:51
  I'm
• 18:52
  going
• 18:52
  to
• 18:52
  connect
• 18:52
  with
• 18:52
  you
• 18:53
  first.
• 18:54
  Doesn't
• 18:54
  mean
• 18:54
  I'm
• 18:54
  going
• 18:54
  to
• 18:54
  be
• 18:55
  a
• 18:55
  doormat
• 18:55
  because
• 18:55
  I
• 18:55
  have
• 18:56
  a
• 18:56
  firm
• 18:56
  spine.
• 18:57
  But
• 18:57
  if
• 18:57
  I
• 18:57
  start
• 18:57
  with
• 18:58
  the
• 18:58
  cold
• 18:58
  heart,
• 18:59
  I'm
• 18:59
  going
• 18:59
  to
• 18:59
  be
• 19:00
  distant,
• 19:00
  unapproachable,
• 19:01
  maybe
• 19:02
  inflexible.
• 19:03
  Or
• 19:03
  rigid.
• 19:04
  If
• 19:04
  I
• 19:04
  start
• 19:05
  with
• 19:05
  the
• 19:05
  soft
• 19:06
  spine,
• 19:07
  I'm
• 19:07
  going
• 19:07
  to
• 19:07
  be
• 19:07
  a
• 19:07
  pushover.
• 19:08
  The
• 19:09
  soft
• 19:09
  heart,
• 19:09
  firm
• 19:10
  spine
• 19:10
  is
• 19:10
  this
• 19:10
  beautiful
• 19:11
  mantra
• 19:12
  of
• 19:12
  I'm
• 19:13
  going
• 19:13
  to
• 19:13
  show
• 19:13
  up
• 19:13
  and
• 19:14
  connect
• 19:14
  with
• 19:14
  you.
• 19:15
  So
• 19:15
  here,
• 19:15
  here's
• 19:15
  the
• 19:15
  classic
• 19:16
  example.
• 19:16
  Suppose
• 19:17
  you
• 19:17
  are
• 19:17
  in
• 19:17
  corporate.
• 19:18
  Suppose
• 19:18
  that
• 19:18
  you're
• 19:18
  not
• 19:18
  an
• 19:18
  entrepreneur
• 19:19
  and
• 19:19
  you're
• 19:19
  looking
• 19:19
  for
• 19:20
  a
• 19:20
  raise.
• 19:21
  Most
• 19:21
  of
• 19:21
  us
• 19:21
  will
• 19:21
  come
• 19:22
  in
• 19:22
  and
• 19:22
  we'll
• 19:22
  be
• 19:22
  like,
• 19:22
  I
• 19:22
  deserve
• 19:23
  a
• 19:23
  raise.
• 19:23
  I
• 19:23
  should
• 19:23
  be
• 19:24
  paid
• 19:24
  more.
• 19:24
  People
• 19:25
  are
• 19:25
  making
• 19:25
  more
• 19:25
  money,
• 19:26
  and
• 19:26
  here's
• 19:26
  what
• 19:26
  I
• 19:26
  want
• 19:26
  to
• 19:27
  ask
• 19:27
  for.
• 19:28
  We
• 19:28
  make
• 19:29
  it
• 19:29
  all
• 19:29
  about
• 19:29
  ourselves.
• 19:31
  When
• 19:31
  we
• 19:31
  walk
• 19:32
  in
• 19:32
  with
• 19:32
  that
• 19:33
  desire
• 19:33
  to
• 19:34
  connect
• 19:34
  first,
• 19:35
  we're
• 19:36
  stepping
• 19:36
  into
• 19:36
  our
• 19:37
  boss's
• 19:37
  shoes
• 19:38
  and
• 19:38
  saying,
• 19:39
  here's
• 19:40
  the
• 19:40
  things
• 19:40
  that
• 19:40
  I've
• 19:40
  contributed
• 19:41
  to
• 19:41
  make
• 19:41
  our
• 19:41
  team
• 19:42
  successful.
• 19:43
  Where
• 19:43
  are
• 19:44
  you
• 19:44
  going?
• 19:44
  What's
• 19:44
  our
• 19:45
  vision?
• 19:45
  How
• 19:45
  can
• 19:45
  I
• 19:46
  take
• 19:46
  on
• 19:46
  more
• 19:46
  responsibility?
• 19:47
  How
• 19:47
  can
• 19:47
  I
• 19:48
  demonstrate
• 19:48
  more
• 19:48
  leadership?
• 19:49
  How
• 19:49
  can
• 19:49
  I
• 19:49
  ensure
• 19:50
  that
• 19:50
  we
• 19:50
  get
• 19:50
  these
• 19:50
  objectives
• 19:51
  across
• 19:51
  the
• 19:51
  finish
• 19:51
  line?
• 19:52
  Well,
• 19:52
  then,
• 19:52
  based
• 19:52
  on
• 19:52
  my
• 19:53
  added
• 19:53
  responsibilities
• 19:54
  and
• 19:54
  how
• 19:54
  excited
• 19:55
  I
• 19:55
  am
• 19:55
  to
• 19:55
  bring
• 19:55
  this
• 19:56
  vision
• 19:56
  of
• 19:56
  yours
• 19:57
  to
• 19:57
  life,
• 19:57
  I
• 19:58
  would
• 19:58
  like
• 19:58
  to
• 19:58
  talk
• 19:58
  about
• 19:59
  additional
• 20:00
  salary.
• 20:00
  I'd
• 20:00
  like
• 20:01
  to
• 20:01
  talk
• 20:01
  about
• 20:01
  a
• 20:01
  promotion.
• 20:02
  And
• 20:02
  all
• 20:02
  of
• 20:02
  a
• 20:03
  sudden
• 20:03
  you're
• 20:03
  looking
• 20:03
  at
• 20:03
  it
• 20:04
  from
• 20:04
  a
• 20:04
  very
• 20:04
  different
• 20:05
  lens
• 20:05
  of,
• 20:06
  I
• 20:06
  want
• 20:06
  to
• 20:06
  be
• 20:07
  an
• 20:07
  even
• 20:07
  more
• 20:07
  significant
• 20:08
  contributor.
• 20:09
  Rather
• 20:09
  than
• 20:09
  me
• 20:10
  just
• 20:10
  coming
• 20:10
  in
• 20:10
  and
• 20:10
  demanding
• 20:11
  a
• 20:11
  salary
• 20:11
  increase
• 20:11
  or
• 20:12
  demanding
• 20:12
  a
• 20:12
  promotion.
• 20:13
  Now,
• 20:14
  the
• 20:14
  person
• 20:14
  you're
• 20:14
  talking
• 20:14
  to
• 20:15
  is
• 20:15
  listening
• 20:16
  because
• 20:16
  you've
• 20:16
  included
• 20:17
  them,
• 20:17
  you've
• 20:17
  connected
• 20:18
  with
• 20:18
  them
• 20:18
  on
• 20:18
  their
• 20:18
  own
• 20:19
  vision.
• 20:19
  If
• 20:19
  we
• 20:19
  bring
• 20:19
  it
• 20:19
  home
• 20:20
  to
• 20:20
  the
• 20:20
  personal
• 20:20
  world,
• 20:21
  there's
• 20:22
  that
• 20:22
  classic
• 20:23
  phrase,
• 20:24
  coco,
• 20:26
  we
• 20:26
  need
• 20:27
  to
• 20:27
  talk.
• 20:28
  And
• 20:28
  everybody's
• 20:28
  like,
• 20:29
  Gertrude.
• 20:29
  Lines
• 20:30
  like,
• 20:30
  I
• 20:31
  don't
• 20:31
  know
• 20:31
  what's
• 20:31
  coming.
• 20:32
  It's
• 20:32
  probably
• 20:32
  a
• 20:33
  hand
• 20:33
  grenade
• 20:33
  that's
• 20:34
  about
• 20:34
  to
• 20:34
  be
• 20:34
  thrown.
• 20:34
  What
• 20:35
  have
• 20:35
  I
• 20:35
  done?
• 20:35
  And
• 20:36
  am
• 20:36
  I
• 20:36
  in
• 20:36
  trouble?
• 20:37
  Leading
• 20:37
  with
• 20:38
  love
• 20:38
  sounds
• 20:39
  so
• 20:39
  woo
• 20:39
  woo.
• 20:40
  Until
• 20:40
  you
• 20:40
  realize
• 20:41
  just
• 20:41
  how
• 20:41
  effective
• 20:41
  it
• 20:42
  is.
• 20:44
  As
• 20:44
  you
• 20:44
  talked
• 20:45
  about
• 20:45
  this
• 20:45
  example
• 20:47
  of
• 20:47
  first
• 20:48
  really
• 20:48
  connecting
• 20:49
  and
• 20:50
  then
• 20:51
  seeing
• 20:51
  how
• 20:51
  we
• 20:51
  can
• 20:52
  work
• 20:52
  together,
• 20:52
  seeing
• 20:53
  how
• 20:53
  power
• 20:54
  with
• 20:54
  you
• 20:55
  works.
• 20:55
  With
• 20:56
  asking
• 20:56
  for
• 20:56
  a
• 20:57
  raise,
• 20:58
  I
• 20:58
  can
• 20:58
  imagine
• 20:58
  it
• 20:58
  works
• 20:59
  extremely
• 21:00
  well
• 21:00
  with
• 21:01
  employees.
• 21:02
  It
• 21:02
  probably
• 21:02
  works
• 21:03
  really
• 21:03
  well
• 21:03
  too.
• 21:04
  With
• 21:05
  asking
• 21:05
  for
• 21:06
  Business.
• 21:07
  Do
• 21:07
  you
• 21:07
  have
• 21:07
  experiences
• 21:08
  where
• 21:08
  you've
• 21:09
  seen
• 21:09
  that
• 21:09
  kind
• 21:09
  of
• 21:09
  thing
• 21:10
  work
• 21:10
  well
• 21:10
  with
• 21:10
  asking
• 21:11
  for
• 21:11
  Business?
• 21:12
  Well,
• 21:12
  having
• 21:12
  been
• 21:13
  a
• 21:13
  sales
• 21:13
  trainer
• 21:14
  for
• 21:14
  a
• 21:14
  very
• 21:14
  long
• 21:14
  time,
• 21:15
  one
• 21:15
  of
• 21:16
  the
• 21:16
  things
• 21:16
  is,
• 21:16
  again,
• 21:17
  to
• 21:17
  not
• 21:17
  pitch
• 21:18
  it
• 21:18
  is
• 21:19
  to
• 21:19
  connect
• 21:19
  and
• 21:19
  educate.
• 21:20
  And
• 21:21
  so
• 21:21
  I
• 21:21
  have
• 21:21
  a
• 21:21
  fun,
• 21:22
  a
• 21:22
  fun
• 21:22
  story
• 21:22
  from
• 21:22
  not
• 21:23
  that
• 21:23
  long
• 21:23
  ago
• 21:23
  where
• 21:23
  I
• 21:24
  had
• 21:24
  a
• 21:24
  coaching
• 21:24
  client
• 21:24
  and
• 21:25
  she
• 21:26
  called
• 21:26
  me
• 21:26
  and
• 21:27
  like,
• 21:27
  literally,
• 21:28
  you
• 21:28
  know,
• 21:28
  she
• 21:28
  called
• 21:28
  me
• 21:29
  out
• 21:29
  of
• 21:29
  the
• 21:29
  blue
• 21:29
  and
• 21:29
  she's
• 21:30
  like,
• 21:30
  and
• 21:30
  again,
• 21:31
  you
• 21:31
  are
• 21:32
  my
• 21:32
  dealer
• 21:32
  and
• 21:33
  I
• 21:33
  need
• 21:33
  a
• 21:34
  hit.
• 21:34
  And
• 21:34
  of
• 21:35
  course,
• 21:35
  and
• 21:35
  Just
• 21:35
  for
• 21:35
  everybody
• 21:36
  who's
• 21:36
  listening?
• 21:36
  Dealer.
• 21:37
  She
• 21:37
  means
• 21:38
  coach,
• 21:38
  right?
• 21:39
  Yeah.
• 21:39
  And
• 21:39
  by
• 21:39
  hit,
• 21:40
  she
• 21:40
  means,
• 21:40
  like
• 21:40
  energy,
• 21:41
  like
• 21:41
  she
• 21:41
  needs
• 21:41
  to
• 21:42
  hit
• 21:42
  a
• 21:42
  mode.
• 21:42
  Like
• 21:42
  she
• 21:42
  is
• 21:42
  just
• 21:43
  not
• 21:43
  in
• 21:43
  a
• 21:43
  good
• 21:43
  place.
• 21:44
  And
• 21:44
  so
• 21:44
  I
• 21:44
  said
• 21:44
  to
• 21:45
  her,
• 21:45
  it
• 21:45
  was
• 21:45
  so
• 21:45
  funny.
• 21:45
  I
• 21:45
  was
• 21:45
  like,
• 21:46
  okay,
• 21:46
  you
• 21:46
  know
• 21:46
  what's
• 21:46
  going
• 21:47
  on.
• 21:47
  And
• 21:47
  this
• 21:48
  is
• 21:48
  real
• 21:48
  world,
• 21:49
  right?
• 21:49
  So
• 21:49
  she's
• 21:49
  in
• 21:50
  sales,
• 21:50
  she's
• 21:51
  got
• 21:51
  to
• 21:51
  go
• 21:51
  to
• 21:51
  our
• 21:51
  conference,
• 21:52
  she's
• 21:52
  networking.
• 21:52
  And
• 21:53
  she's
• 21:53
  like,
• 21:53
  I
• 21:53
  have
• 21:53
  to
• 21:53
  go
• 21:54
  to
• 21:54
  this
• 21:54
  expo
• 21:55
  and
• 21:55
  I
• 21:55
  do
• 21:55
  not
• 21:55
  want
• 21:55
  to
• 21:56
  go.
• 21:56
  And
• 21:56
  I
• 21:56
  think
• 21:56
  we
• 21:56
  can
• 21:56
  all
• 21:57
  relate.
• 21:57
  She
• 21:57
  said
• 21:57
  to
• 21:57
  me,
• 21:58
  and
• 21:58
  I
• 21:58
  quote,
• 21:58
  she's
• 21:58
  like,
• 21:58
  I
• 21:59
  want
• 21:59
  to
• 21:59
  go
• 21:59
  back
• 21:59
  to
• 21:59
  the
• 21:59
  hotel
• 21:59
  room,
• 22:00
  I
• 22:00
  want
• 22:00
  to
• 22:00
  take
• 22:00
  off
• 22:01
  my
• 22:01
  Spanx,
• 22:01
  I
• 22:02
  want
• 22:02
  to
• 22:02
  pour
• 22:02
  a
• 22:02
  glass
• 22:02
  of
• 22:02
  wine
• 22:03
  and
• 22:03
  I
• 22:03
  want
• 22:03
  to
• 22:03
  crawl
• 22:03
  under
• 22:04
  the
• 22:04
  covers.
• 22:04
  And
• 22:04
  I
• 22:04
  was
• 22:05
  like,
• 22:05
  okay,
• 22:06
  what's
• 22:06
  your
• 22:06
  sales
• 22:07
  goal?
• 22:07
  She
• 22:07
  was
• 22:08
  like,
• 22:08
  I
• 22:08
  have
• 22:08
  to
• 22:08
  do
• 22:08
  a
• 22:08
  little
• 22:08
  over
• 22:08
  400,000.
• 22:09
  Like
• 22:10
  that's
• 22:10
  my
• 22:10
  commitment
• 22:10
  in
• 22:11
  this
• 22:11
  hour.
• 22:11
  And
• 22:12
  I
• 22:12
  was
• 22:12
  like,
• 22:12
  okay,
• 22:12
  this
• 22:12
  is
• 22:12
  the
• 22:13
  world
• 22:13
  that
• 22:13
  she
• 22:13
  plays
• 22:13
  in.
• 22:13
  This
• 22:14
  is
• 22:14
  a
• 22:14
  stretch
• 22:14
  goal.
• 22:14
  But
• 22:15
  this
• 22:15
  is
• 22:15
  not
• 22:15
  like
• 22:15
  her
• 22:16
  selling
• 22:16
  999
• 22:17
  gadgets.
• 22:17
  She's
• 22:17
  got
• 22:18
  to
• 22:18
  sell
• 22:18
  a
• 22:18
  million
• 22:18
  of
• 22:18
  them.
• 22:18
  Right?
• 22:19
  So
• 22:19
  this
• 22:19
  is
• 22:19
  her
• 22:19
  world.
• 22:20
  And
• 22:20
  I
• 22:20
  said,
• 22:20
  okay,
• 22:21
  here's
• 22:21
  what
• 22:21
  we're
• 22:21
  going
• 22:21
  to
• 22:21
  do.
• 22:22
  You're
• 22:22
  going
• 22:22
  to
• 22:23
  go
• 22:23
  and
• 22:23
  you
• 22:24
  are
• 22:24
  going
• 22:24
  to
• 22:24
  connect
• 22:25
  about
• 22:25
  something
• 22:25
  that's
• 22:25
  passionate.
• 22:26
  And
• 22:26
  at
• 22:27
  that
• 22:27
  time,
• 22:27
  we
• 22:27
  were
• 22:27
  all
• 22:28
  excited
• 22:28
  about
• 22:28
  Farm
• 22:29
  Girl
• 22:29
  Flowers.
• 22:29
  Farm
• 22:30
  Girl
• 22:30
  Flowers
• 22:30
  is
• 22:31
  this
• 22:31
  nationwide
• 22:31
  thing.
• 22:31
  They're
• 22:32
  beautiful
• 22:32
  arrangements.
• 22:32
  I'm
• 22:33
  not
• 22:33
  an
• 22:33
  ambassador.
• 22:33
  I
• 22:34
  don't
• 22:34
  get
• 22:34
  any
• 22:34
  kickbacks.
• 22:34
  They're
• 22:35
  just
• 22:35
  fabulous.
• 22:35
  And
• 22:36
  I
• 22:36
  had
• 22:36
  sent
• 22:36
  her
• 22:36
  a
• 22:36
  bouquet.
• 22:37
  Farm
• 22:38
  Girl
• 22:38
  Flowers.
• 22:39
  I
• 22:39
  sent
• 22:39
  her
• 22:39
  some
• 22:39
  Farm
• 22:40
  Girl
• 22:40
  flowers.
• 22:40
  You
• 22:40
  know
• 22:41
  how
• 22:41
  much
• 22:41
  you
• 22:41
  love
• 22:41
  them.
• 22:42
  Just
• 22:42
  go
• 22:42
  talk
• 22:43
  Farm
• 22:43
  Girl
• 22:43
  Flowers
• 22:44
  with
• 22:44
  all
• 22:44
  of
• 22:44
  your
• 22:44
  folks.
• 22:45
  And
• 22:45
  she's
• 22:46
  like,
• 22:46
  I
• 22:46
  can
• 22:46
  do
• 22:46
  that.
• 22:47
  I
• 22:47
  have
• 22:48
  a
• 22:48
  text
• 22:48
  that
• 22:49
  I
• 22:49
  have
• 22:49
  memorialized
• 22:50
  on
• 22:50
  my
• 22:51
  phone.
• 22:51
  Because
• 22:51
  when
• 22:52
  I
• 22:52
  asked
• 22:52
  her
• 22:52
  the
• 22:52
  next
• 22:53
  day
• 22:53
  how
• 22:53
  the
• 22:53
  expo
• 22:54
  went,
• 22:54
  she
• 22:54
  said,
• 22:54
  we
• 22:54
  did
• 22:55
  over
• 22:55
  a
• 22:55
  million
• 22:56
  dollars
• 22:56
  in
• 22:57
  sales
• 22:57
  and
• 22:58
  it
• 22:58
  was
• 22:58
  so
• 22:58
  fun.
• 22:58
  And
• 22:59
  here's
• 22:59
  the
• 22:59
  difference.
• 23:01
  She
• 23:01
  wasn't
• 23:01
  pitching
• 23:01
  a
• 23:02
  product.
• 23:03
  Yeah.
• 23:03
  She
• 23:03
  was
• 23:03
  connecting
• 23:04
  with
• 23:04
  people
• 23:04
  about
• 23:04
  something
• 23:05
  that
• 23:05
  was
• 23:05
  super
• 23:05
  passionate.
• 23:06
  And
• 23:06
  then
• 23:07
  we
• 23:07
  role
• 23:07
  played
• 23:08
  just
• 23:08
  enough
• 23:08
  on
• 23:08
  our
• 23:08
  call
• 23:09
  that
• 23:09
  I
• 23:09
  said,
• 23:10
  take
• 23:10
  the
• 23:10
  passion
• 23:11
  you
• 23:11
  have
• 23:11
  for
• 23:11
  Farm
• 23:11
  Girl
• 23:12
  Flowers
• 23:13
  and
• 23:13
  then
• 23:13
  naturally
• 23:14
  segue
• 23:14
  it
• 23:14
  into
• 23:14
  how
• 23:15
  much
• 23:15
  passion
• 23:15
  you
• 23:15
  have
• 23:15
  for
• 23:16
  this
• 23:16
  new
• 23:16
  offering
• 23:17
  that
• 23:17
  your
• 23:17
  company
• 23:17
  is
• 23:17
  providing.
• 23:18
  But
• 23:18
  I
• 23:19
  don't
• 23:19
  start
• 23:19
  with,
• 23:19
  I
• 23:19
  have
• 23:20
  this
• 23:20
  new
• 23:20
  product
• 23:20
  and
• 23:21
  you
• 23:21
  must
• 23:21
  have
• 23:21
  it.
• 23:22
  Just
• 23:22
  go
• 23:23
  and
• 23:23
  be
• 23:23
  you.
• 23:24
  That
• 23:24
  led
• 23:24
  to
• 23:25
  seven
• 23:25
  figures
• 23:25
  of
• 23:25
  success
• 23:26
  for
• 23:26
  her
• 23:26
  in
• 23:27
  an
• 23:27
  hour.
• 23:28
  That
• 23:28
  is
• 23:29
  the
• 23:29
  power
• 23:29
  of
• 23:30
  sales.
• 23:30
  If
• 23:30
  you're
• 23:30
  reaching
• 23:31
  out
• 23:31
  to
• 23:31
  your
• 23:31
  employees,
• 23:32
  it's
• 23:32
  the
• 23:32
  Same
• 23:32
  thing.
• 23:33
  You
• 23:33
  are
• 23:33
  not
• 23:34
  convincing
• 23:34
  anybody
• 23:35
  of
• 23:35
  anything.
• 23:36
  You're
• 23:36
  connecting.
• 23:37
  You're
• 23:37
  sharing
• 23:37
  your
• 23:37
  own
• 23:38
  passion.
• 23:38
  And
• 23:39
  then
• 23:39
  you
• 23:39
  have
• 23:39
  this
• 23:39
  firm
• 23:40
  spine
• 23:40
  of
• 23:40
  either
• 23:41
  expectation
• 23:42
  or
• 23:42
  the
• 23:42
  firm
• 23:42
  spine
• 23:43
  in
• 23:43
  that
• 23:43
  case,
• 23:43
  could
• 23:43
  be.
• 23:44
  And
• 23:44
  this
• 23:44
  is
• 23:45
  the
• 23:45
  concrete
• 23:45
  structure
• 23:46
  around
• 23:46
  it.
• 23:47
  Yes.
• 23:47
  This
• 23:47
  is
• 23:48
  where
• 23:48
  we're
• 23:48
  going.
• 23:48
  This
• 23:48
  is
• 23:49
  the
• 23:49
  ship
• 23:49
  that
• 23:49
  we're
• 23:49
  going
• 23:49
  to
• 23:49
  be
• 23:50
  on.
• 23:50
  Do
• 23:50
  you
• 23:50
  want
• 23:50
  to
• 23:50
  row
• 23:51
  with
• 23:51
  us?
• 23:51
  Yes.
• 23:53
  Great.
• 23:53
  I
• 23:53
  love
• 23:53
  that.
• 23:54
  And,
• 23:54
  you
• 23:55
  know,
• 23:55
  leading
• 23:55
  with
• 23:56
  your
• 23:56
  passion,
• 23:56
  your
• 23:56
  connection,
• 23:57
  what
• 23:57
  matters
• 23:58
  to
• 23:58
  you,
• 23:58
  the
• 23:59
  things
• 23:59
  that
• 23:59
  really
• 23:59
  come
• 24:00
  from
• 24:00
  your
• 24:00
  heart,
• 24:00
  not
• 24:01
  from
• 24:01
  your
• 24:01
  head.
• 24:02
  So
• 24:02
  the
• 24:02
  next
• 24:02
  piece
• 24:03
  you
• 24:03
  talk
• 24:03
  about
• 24:03
  is
• 24:04
  that
• 24:05
  there's
• 24:06
  all
• 24:06
  kinds
• 24:06
  of
• 24:07
  conversations
• 24:08
  happening
• 24:08
  whenever
• 24:09
  you're
• 24:09
  having
• 24:09
  a
• 24:10
  conversation.
• 24:10
  So
• 24:10
  your
• 24:11
  advice
• 24:11
  is
• 24:11
  to
• 24:12
  tune
• 24:12
  in
• 24:13
  to
• 24:13
  all
• 24:14
  the
• 24:14
  conversations.
• 24:15
  What
• 24:15
  does
• 24:16
  that
• 24:16
  mean?
• 24:17
  And
• 24:17
  tell
• 24:18
  us
• 24:18
  how
• 24:19
  that
• 24:19
  can
• 24:19
  help
• 24:20
  us
• 24:20
  as
• 24:20
  we're
• 24:21
  navigating
• 24:21
  our
• 24:22
  relationships.
• 24:23
  There
• 24:24
  are
• 24:24
  so
• 24:24
  many
• 24:24
  dynamics
• 24:25
  going
• 24:25
  on
• 24:25
  in
• 24:25
  a
• 24:26
  conversation.
• 24:26
  You
• 24:26
  and
• 24:27
  I
• 24:27
  are
• 24:27
  having
• 24:27
  a
• 24:27
  conversation
• 24:28
  right
• 24:28
  now.
• 24:29
  Right.
• 24:29
  I'm
• 24:29
  having
• 24:29
  a
• 24:29
  conversation
• 24:30
  in
• 24:30
  the
• 24:30
  back
• 24:30
  of
• 24:30
  my
• 24:31
  head
• 24:31
  to
• 24:31
  make
• 24:31
  sure.
• 24:31
  Am
• 24:31
  I
• 24:32
  adding
• 24:32
  value?
• 24:33
  Am
• 24:33
  I
• 24:33
  giving
• 24:33
  the
• 24:33
  listeners
• 24:34
  something
• 24:34
  that's
• 24:34
  concrete
• 24:35
  and
• 24:35
  tangible?
• 24:35
  You
• 24:36
  know,
• 24:36
  am
• 24:36
  I
• 24:36
  asking
• 24:36
  questions
• 24:37
  that
• 24:37
  are
• 24:37
  going
• 24:37
  to
• 24:37
  help
• 24:37
  my
• 24:37
  listeners?
• 24:38
  Yeah.
• 24:39
  It's
• 24:39
  no
• 24:39
  different
• 24:40
  when
• 24:40
  it
• 24:40
  comes
• 24:40
  inside
• 24:41
  of
• 24:41
  our
• 24:41
  businesses.
• 24:41
  If
• 24:41
  I
• 24:42
  work
• 24:42
  for
• 24:42
  you,
• 24:42
  if
• 24:42
  I'm
• 24:42
  a
• 24:43
  direct
• 24:43
  report
• 24:44
  and
• 24:44
  I
• 24:44
  come
• 24:44
  to
• 24:44
  you
• 24:45
  and
• 24:45
  I
• 24:45
  say,
• 24:46
  frank's
• 24:47
  driving
• 24:47
  me
• 24:47
  crazy,
• 24:48
  Frank's
• 24:49
  incompetent.
• 24:50
  I'm
• 24:51
  forgetting
• 24:52
  that
• 24:52
  you
• 24:53
  hired
• 24:53
  Frank.
• 24:54
  And
• 24:54
  it's
• 24:55
  very
• 24:55
  possible
• 24:55
  that
• 24:55
  when
• 24:56
  I
• 24:56
  tell
• 24:56
  you
• 24:56
  that
• 24:56
  Frank
• 24:56
  is
• 24:57
  incompetent,
• 24:58
  you're
• 24:58
  now
• 24:58
  perceiving
• 24:59
  that
• 24:59
  as,
• 24:59
  am
• 24:59
  I
• 24:59
  incompetent?
• 25:00
  Do
• 25:00
  I
• 25:00
  hire
• 25:01
  incompetent
• 25:01
  people?
• 25:01
  What
• 25:01
  does
• 25:02
  that
• 25:02
  say
• 25:02
  about
• 25:02
  me?
• 25:03
  And
• 25:03
  so
• 25:03
  you
• 25:03
  have
• 25:03
  to
• 25:04
  be
• 25:04
  aware
• 25:05
  that
• 25:05
  there
• 25:05
  is
• 25:05
  a
• 25:06
  conversation
• 25:06
  that's
• 25:06
  going
• 25:06
  on
• 25:07
  between
• 25:07
  the
• 25:07
  two
• 25:07
  of
• 25:07
  us,
• 25:08
  but
• 25:08
  there's
• 25:08
  a
• 25:08
  conversation
• 25:09
  that's
• 25:09
  going
• 25:09
  on
• 25:10
  inside
• 25:10
  of,
• 25:10
  what
• 25:11
  does
• 25:11
  this
• 25:11
  say
• 25:11
  about
• 25:12
  me?
• 25:12
  What
• 25:13
  does
• 25:13
  this
• 25:13
  mean
• 25:13
  to
• 25:13
  my
• 25:14
  world?
• 25:14
  Which
• 25:14
  is
• 25:15
  why
• 25:15
  it's
• 25:15
  so
• 25:15
  important
• 25:16
  to
• 25:16
  actively
• 25:17
  listen
• 25:18
  to
• 25:18
  what
• 25:18
  somebody
• 25:19
  is
• 25:19
  saying.
• 25:20
  And
• 25:20
  before
• 25:21
  reacting,
• 25:23
  think
• 25:23
  about
• 25:23
  what
• 25:24
  it
• 25:24
  is
• 25:24
  that
• 25:24
  you
• 25:24
  want
• 25:24
  to
• 25:25
  say
• 25:25
  that's
• 25:25
  going
• 25:25
  to
• 25:25
  help
• 25:26
  you
• 25:26
  respond
• 25:27
  thoughtfully.
• 25:27
  For
• 25:27
  instance,
• 25:28
  if
• 25:28
  I
• 25:28
  came
• 25:28
  to
• 25:29
  you
• 25:29
  and
• 25:29
  I
• 25:29
  was
• 25:29
  like,
• 25:29
  oh,
• 25:30
  my
• 25:30
  gosh,
• 25:30
  Frank's
• 25:30
  driving
• 25:30
  me
• 25:31
  crazy,
• 25:32
  you're
• 25:32
  not
• 25:32
  going
• 25:32
  to
• 25:32
  be
• 25:33
  like,
• 25:33
  I
• 25:33
  thought
• 25:33
  Frank
• 25:33
  was
• 25:33
  amazing,
• 25:34
  and
• 25:34
  get
• 25:34
  all
• 25:34
  defensive.
• 25:35
  You're
• 25:35
  going
• 25:35
  to
• 25:35
  literally
• 25:36
  take
• 25:36
  that
• 25:36
  sacred
• 25:37
  beat
• 25:37
  and
• 25:37
  say,
• 25:38
  tell
• 25:38
  me
• 25:38
  more
• 25:39
  what's
• 25:39
  going
• 25:39
  on?
• 25:40
  And
• 25:40
  I
• 25:41
  might
• 25:41
  have
• 25:41
  a
• 25:41
  very
• 25:42
  specific
• 25:42
  complaint
• 25:43
  that
• 25:43
  you're
• 25:43
  like,
• 25:43
  we
• 25:43
  can
• 25:43
  solve
• 25:44
  that.
• 25:44
  Or
• 25:44
  I
• 25:45
  might
• 25:45
  just
• 25:45
  be
• 25:45
  venting
• 25:46
  because
• 25:46
  I'm
• 25:46
  having
• 25:46
  a
• 25:46
  bad
• 25:47
  day.
• 25:47
  But
• 25:47
  instead
• 25:47
  of
• 25:48
  you
• 25:48
  reacting,
• 25:48
  you're
• 25:49
  going
• 25:49
  to
• 25:49
  take
• 25:49
  that
• 25:49
  beat
• 25:50
  and
• 25:50
  say,
• 25:50
  amy
• 25:51
  K.
• 25:51
  Tell
• 25:51
  me
• 25:51
  more
• 25:52
  or
• 25:52
  give
• 25:52
  me
• 25:52
  an
• 25:52
  example
• 25:53
  of
• 25:53
  what's
• 25:53
  going
• 25:53
  on
• 25:54
  because
• 25:54
  you're
• 25:55
  very
• 25:55
  aware
• 25:55
  that
• 25:56
  who
• 25:56
  knows
• 25:56
  what
• 25:56
  other
• 25:57
  conversation
• 25:57
  is
• 25:57
  going
• 25:58
  on
• 25:58
  inside
• 25:58
  of
• 25:58
  my
• 25:58
  head?
• 25:59
  Or
• 25:59
  the
• 25:59
  flip.
• 26:00
  Suppose
• 26:00
  I'm
• 26:01
  going
• 26:01
  to
• 26:01
  talk
• 26:01
  to
• 26:01
  an
• 26:01
  investor.
• 26:03
  What's
• 26:03
  in
• 26:04
  it
• 26:04
  for
• 26:04
  him
• 26:04
  or
• 26:04
  her?
• 26:05
  Suppose
• 26:06
  I'm
• 26:06
  going
• 26:06
  to
• 26:06
  talk
• 26:06
  to
• 26:06
  somebody
• 26:07
  about
• 26:07
  their
• 26:07
  own
• 26:07
  performance.
• 26:08
  What's
• 26:08
  in
• 26:08
  it
• 26:08
  for
• 26:08
  them?
• 26:09
  I
• 26:10
  have
• 26:10
  to
• 26:10
  take
• 26:10
  a
• 26:11
  beat
• 26:11
  to
• 26:11
  say,
• 26:12
  this
• 26:12
  conversation
• 26:13
  is
• 26:13
  beyond
• 26:13
  what
• 26:14
  I
• 26:14
  just
• 26:14
  want.
• 26:15
  There
• 26:15
  are
• 26:15
  other
• 26:15
  wants
• 26:16
  that
• 26:16
  are
• 26:16
  going
• 26:16
  on.
• 26:16
  There's
• 26:17
  other
• 26:17
  identities,
• 26:18
  there's
• 26:18
  other
• 26:18
  egos,
• 26:19
  there's
• 26:20
  other
• 26:20
  hearts
• 26:20
  in
• 26:21
  this
• 26:21
  conversation.
• 26:21
  And
• 26:22
  that's
• 26:22
  part
• 26:22
  of
• 26:22
  the
• 26:23
  prep.
• 26:23
  I
• 26:23
  talk
• 26:23
  a
• 26:24
  lot
• 26:24
  about
• 26:24
  the
• 26:24
  life
• 26:25
  that
• 26:25
  you
• 26:25
  want
• 26:26
  is
• 26:26
  on
• 26:26
  the
• 26:26
  other
• 26:26
  side
• 26:27
  of
• 26:27
  a
• 26:27
  tough
• 26:27
  conversation.
• 26:28
  And
• 26:29
  to
• 26:29
  navigate
• 26:30
  that
• 26:30
  tough
• 26:30
  conversation,
• 26:31
  the
• 26:31
  most
• 26:31
  important
• 26:32
  work
• 26:32
  is
• 26:32
  preparing
• 26:33
  for
• 26:33
  it
• 26:34
  and
• 26:34
  thinking
• 26:34
  it
• 26:35
  through
• 26:35
  about
• 26:35
  what
• 26:35
  could
• 26:36
  be
• 26:36
  going
• 26:36
  on
• 26:36
  in
• 26:36
  that
• 26:36
  person.
• 26:37
  So
• 26:37
  again,
• 26:37
  if
• 26:37
  I
• 26:38
  were
• 26:38
  saying,
• 26:38
  I
• 26:38
  need
• 26:39
  to
• 26:39
  talk
• 26:39
  to
• 26:39
  you
• 26:39
  about
• 26:39
  Frank,
• 26:40
  I'm
• 26:41
  going
• 26:41
  to
• 26:41
  prepare
• 26:41
  a
• 26:41
  soft
• 26:42
  heart
• 26:42
  approach
• 26:43
  and
• 26:43
  a
• 26:44
  firm
• 26:44
  spine
• 26:45
  to
• 26:45
  say,
• 26:45
  hey,
• 26:46
  want
• 26:46
  to
• 26:46
  talk
• 26:46
  to
• 26:46
  you
• 26:46
  about
• 26:47
  Frank.
• 26:47
  And
• 26:48
  making
• 26:48
  him
• 26:48
  an
• 26:48
  even
• 26:49
  more
• 26:49
  integrative
• 26:50
  and
• 26:50
  successful
• 26:51
  team
• 26:51
  player.
• 26:52
  So
• 26:53
  he's
• 26:53
  been
• 26:53
  on
• 26:53
  board
• 26:54
  for
• 26:54
  about
• 26:54
  nine
• 26:54
  months.
• 26:55
  I
• 26:55
  know
• 26:55
  you
• 26:55
  hired
• 26:55
  him.
• 26:56
  So
• 26:56
  I'm
• 26:56
  thinking
• 26:56
  about
• 26:57
  that
• 26:57
  in
• 26:57
  the
• 26:57
  back
• 26:57
  of
• 26:57
  my
• 26:57
  mind.
• 26:57
  He's
• 26:58
  really
• 26:58
  great
• 26:58
  in
• 26:59
  product
• 26:59
  knowledge.
• 27:00
  I
• 27:00
  think
• 27:01
  we
• 27:01
  need
• 27:01
  to
• 27:01
  work
• 27:01
  on
• 27:01
  his
• 27:01
  presentation
• 27:02
  skills.
• 27:02
  He's
• 27:03
  a
• 27:03
  little
• 27:03
  bit
• 27:03
  of
• 27:03
  a
• 27:04
  know
• 27:04
  it
• 27:04
  all.
• 27:04
  He's
• 27:05
  a
• 27:05
  little
• 27:05
  bit
• 27:05
  less
• 27:06
  in
• 27:06
  tune,
• 27:07
  emotionally
• 27:07
  intelligent
• 27:08
  from
• 27:09
  an
• 27:09
  emotional
• 27:09
  intelligence
• 27:09
  standpoint
• 27:10
  when
• 27:10
  he
• 27:10
  talks
• 27:10
  to
• 27:10
  a
• 27:10
  customer.
• 27:12
  So
• 27:12
  are
• 27:12
  you
• 27:13
  open
• 27:14
  to
• 27:14
  helping
• 27:15
  Frank
• 27:15
  in
• 27:15
  these
• 27:16
  two
• 27:16
  areas?
• 27:16
  Because
• 27:16
  I
• 27:17
  think
• 27:17
  it
• 27:17
  would
• 27:17
  really
• 27:17
  help
• 27:17
  all
• 27:17
  of
• 27:17
  us.
• 27:18
  Now
• 27:18
  that's
• 27:18
  a
• 27:18
  very
• 27:18
  different
• 27:19
  approach
• 27:19
  than
• 27:20
  me
• 27:20
  walking
• 27:20
  in
• 27:20
  and
• 27:21
  be
• 27:21
  like,
• 27:21
  frank
• 27:21
  is
• 27:21
  on
• 27:22
  my
• 27:22
  very
• 27:22
  last
• 27:22
  nerve.
• 27:23
  This
• 27:23
  is
• 27:23
  ridiculous.
• 27:24
  It
• 27:24
  sounds
• 27:25
  so
• 27:25
  silly
• 27:25
  to
• 27:25
  hear
• 27:26
  like,
• 27:26
  well,
• 27:26
  of
• 27:26
  course
• 27:26
  you
• 27:26
  wouldn't
• 27:27
  do
• 27:27
  that.
• 27:27
  Except
• 27:28
  that
• 27:28
  we
• 27:28
  do
• 27:28
  do
• 27:29
  that.
• 27:29
  We
• 27:29
  react
• 27:30
  a
• 27:30
  lot.
• 27:32
  Especially
• 27:32
  if
• 27:33
  you're
• 27:33
  in
• 27:33
  the
• 27:34
  office
• 27:34
  and
• 27:34
  working
• 27:35
  with
• 27:35
  your
• 27:35
  team.
• 27:35
  You're
• 27:36
  under
• 27:36
  stress.
• 27:36
  If
• 27:37
  somebody
• 27:37
  busts
• 27:37
  in
• 27:38
  and
• 27:38
  says
• 27:38
  this
• 27:38
  to
• 27:38
  you,
• 27:39
  Frank's
• 27:39
  not
• 27:40
  doing
• 27:40
  his
• 27:40
  job.
• 27:41
  It's
• 27:41
  not
• 27:41
  on
• 27:41
  my
• 27:41
  agenda
• 27:42
  today.
• 27:42
  This
• 27:42
  is
• 27:43
  not
• 27:43
  what
• 27:43
  I
• 27:43
  want
• 27:43
  to
• 27:43
  deal
• 27:43
  with.
• 27:44
  These
• 27:44
  are
• 27:44
  the
• 27:44
  conversations
• 27:45
  I'm
• 27:45
  having
• 27:45
  in
• 27:46
  my
• 27:46
  head.
• 27:46
  So
• 27:47
  it's
• 27:47
  very.
• 27:47
  And
• 27:48
  I
• 27:48
  feel
• 27:48
  like
• 27:48
  there's
• 27:49
  ways
• 27:50
  for
• 27:50
  us
• 27:50
  to
• 27:52
  improve
• 27:53
  in
• 27:53
  how
• 27:53
  we
• 27:53
  tune
• 27:53
  into
• 27:54
  those
• 27:54
  conversations
• 27:54
  and
• 27:55
  also
• 27:55
  knowing
• 27:56
  how
• 27:56
  we
• 27:56
  can
• 27:56
  set
• 27:56
  things
• 27:57
  up
• 27:58
  so
• 27:58
  that
• 27:58
  we'll
• 27:59
  be
• 28:00
  the
• 28:00
  best.
• 28:01
  You
• 28:01
  know,
• 28:02
  let's
• 28:02
  expand.
• 28:03
  Yeah,
• 28:03
  let's
• 28:03
  expand
• 28:04
  that
• 28:04
  roleplay
• 28:04
  for
• 28:04
  just
• 28:04
  a
• 28:05
  second.
• 28:05
  I
• 28:05
  burst
• 28:06
  into
• 28:06
  your
• 28:06
  office
• 28:07
  unannounced.
• 28:08
  You're
• 28:08
  completely
• 28:09
  involved
• 28:10
  in
• 28:10
  a
• 28:10
  critical
• 28:10
  thinking
• 28:11
  moment.
• 28:11
  You
• 28:11
  know
• 28:11
  you're
• 28:12
  on
• 28:12
  your
• 28:12
  agenda
• 28:13
  and
• 28:13
  I
• 28:13
  come
• 28:13
  and
• 28:14
  tried
• 28:14
  to
• 28:14
  hijack
• 28:15
  your
• 28:15
  day.
• 28:16
  Yes.
• 28:16
  So
• 28:17
  soft
• 28:17
  heart,
• 28:17
  firm
• 28:18
  spine.
• 28:19
  You
• 28:19
  look
• 28:19
  at
• 28:19
  me
• 28:19
  and
• 28:20
  you
• 28:20
  say,
• 28:20
  wow,
• 28:20
  Amy
• 28:21
  K.
• 28:21
  You
• 28:21
  sound
• 28:21
  so
• 28:22
  frustrated.
• 28:23
  Am
• 28:23
  I
• 28:23
  hearing
• 28:23
  you
• 28:23
  accurately?
• 28:24
  Are
• 28:24
  you
• 28:24
  frustrated?
• 28:25
  And
• 28:25
  I'm
• 28:25
  like,
• 28:26
  more
• 28:27
  annoyed.
• 28:27
  Perfect.
• 28:28
  Because
• 28:29
  you've
• 28:29
  said,
• 28:30
  I
• 28:30
  care
• 28:30
  enough
• 28:30
  to
• 28:30
  identify
• 28:31
  an
• 28:31
  emotion.
• 28:32
  I'm
• 28:32
  humble
• 28:33
  enough
• 28:33
  to
• 28:33
  ask,
• 28:33
  am
• 28:34
  I
• 28:34
  hearing
• 28:34
  you
• 28:34
  right?
• 28:34
  Are
• 28:35
  you
• 28:35
  frustrated?
• 28:35
  I
• 28:36
  course
• 28:36
  correct
• 28:36
  and
• 28:36
  go,
• 28:37
  oh,
• 28:37
  just
• 28:37
  annoyed.
• 28:38
  And
• 28:38
  then
• 28:38
  you
• 28:39
  do
• 28:39
  this
• 28:39
  beautiful
• 28:40
  firm
• 28:40
  spine,
• 28:40
  boundary.
• 28:41
  You
• 28:42
  say,
• 28:42
  Amy
• 28:42
  K.
• 28:43
  This
• 28:44
  is
• 28:44
  important
• 28:44
  enough
• 28:45
  that
• 28:45
  it
• 28:46
  deserves
• 28:47
  a
• 28:47
  real
• 28:47
  conversation
• 28:48
  and
• 28:48
  a
• 28:48
  real
• 28:49
  moment.
• 28:49
  I'm
• 28:50
  in
• 28:50
  the
• 28:50
  middle
• 28:50
  of
• 28:50
  something
• 28:50
  and
• 28:51
  you
• 28:51
  and
• 28:52
  this
• 28:52
  issue
• 28:53
  deserves
• 28:53
  my
• 28:53
  full
• 28:53
  attention.
• 28:54
  So
• 28:54
  then
• 28:54
  you
• 28:55
  have
• 28:55
  the
• 28:55
  right
• 28:56
  to
• 28:56
  say
• 28:56
  the
• 28:57
  boundary.
• 28:58
  Give
• 28:58
  me
• 28:58
  15
• 28:58
  minutes
• 28:59
  and
• 28:59
  I'll
• 29:00
  come
• 29:00
  by
• 29:00
  and
• 29:00
  we'll
• 29:01
  circle
• 29:01
  back.
• 29:01
  Or
• 29:03
  I
• 29:03
  can't
• 29:04
  talk
• 29:04
  about
• 29:04
  this
• 29:04
  right
• 29:05
  now.
• 29:05
  Yeah.
• 29:06
  And
• 29:06
  I
• 29:06
  need
• 29:06
  to
• 29:06
  think
• 29:06
  about
• 29:07
  it
• 29:07
  and
• 29:07
  finish
• 29:07
  this.
• 29:08
  So
• 29:08
  let's
• 29:08
  table
• 29:09
  this
• 29:09
  until
• 29:09
  4
• 29:09
  o'
• 29:10
  clock
• 29:10
  or
• 29:10
  maybe
• 29:11
  tomorrow.
• 29:11
  Yeah.
• 29:12
  Here's
• 29:12
  when
• 29:12
  I'm
• 29:13
  available,
• 29:13
  where
• 29:13
  I
• 29:14
  will.
• 29:15
  Send
• 29:15
  you
• 29:15
  an
• 29:15
  email
• 29:15
  with
• 29:16
  sometimes
• 29:16
  I'm
• 29:16
  free.
• 29:17
  You're
• 29:17
  also
• 29:18
  saying,
• 29:18
  this
• 29:18
  is
• 29:18
  important
• 29:19
  enough
• 29:19
  that
• 29:19
  it
• 29:20
  deserves
• 29:20
  my
• 29:20
  attention
• 29:21
  and
• 29:21
  I
• 29:21
  can't
• 29:21
  give
• 29:21
  you
• 29:22
  my
• 29:22
  attention
• 29:22
  right
• 29:22
  now.
• 29:23
  Yes.
• 29:23
  And
• 29:23
  you're
• 29:24
  also
• 29:24
  not
• 29:24
  going
• 29:24
  to
• 29:24
  be
• 29:24
  hijacked
• 29:25
  by
• 29:25
  somebody
• 29:25
  else's
• 29:26
  urgency
• 29:26
  when
• 29:27
  you're
• 29:27
  like,
• 29:27
  okay,
• 29:28
  now
• 29:28
  if
• 29:28
  I
• 29:28
  were
• 29:29
  to
• 29:29
  come
• 29:29
  in
• 29:29
  and
• 29:30
  tell
• 29:30
  you
• 29:30
  that,
• 29:30
  like,
• 29:30
  the
• 29:30
  building's
• 29:31
  on
• 29:31
  fire,
• 29:31
  that's
• 29:32
  different.
• 29:32
  But
• 29:32
  I'm
• 29:32
  just
• 29:33
  coming
• 29:33
  in
• 29:33
  and
• 29:33
  telling
• 29:33
  you
• 29:34
  I'm
• 29:34
  annoyed
• 29:34
  with
• 29:34
  somebody.
• 29:35
  And
• 29:35
  one
• 29:36
  of.
• 29:36
  I'm
• 29:36
  known
• 29:36
  for
• 29:36
  magical
• 29:37
  phrases
• 29:37
  and
• 29:38
  I
• 29:38
  love
• 29:38
  my
• 29:38
  magical
• 29:39
  phrases
• 29:39
  mainly
• 29:39
  because
• 29:40
  I
• 29:40
  learned
• 29:40
  them
• 29:40
  when
• 29:40
  it
• 29:40
  was
• 29:41
  too
• 29:41
  late,
• 29:41
  like
• 29:41
  six
• 29:41
  hours
• 29:42
  later
• 29:42
  when
• 29:42
  I
• 29:42
  wish
• 29:42
  I
• 29:43
  could
• 29:43
  have
• 29:43
  said
• 29:43
  something
• 29:43
  else.
• 29:44
  Yeah.
• 29:44
  But
• 29:44
  you
• 29:45
  can
• 29:45
  also
• 29:46
  do
• 29:46
  the
• 29:46
  magical
• 29:47
  phrase
• 29:47
  of,
• 29:47
  okay,
• 29:48
  Nikki,
• 29:49
  how
• 29:49
  are
• 29:49
  you
• 29:49
  hoping
• 29:49
  that
• 29:50
  I
• 29:50
  respond
• 29:50
  to
• 29:50
  this?
• 29:51
  And
• 29:51
  you're
• 29:51
  like,
• 29:51
  I
• 29:52
  want
• 29:52
  you
• 29:52
  to
• 29:52
  fire
• 29:52
  Frank.
• 29:53
  And
• 29:53
  you're
• 29:53
  like,
• 29:53
  okay,
• 29:54
  I'm
• 29:54
  unable
• 29:55
  to
• 29:55
  hire
• 29:56
  or
• 29:56
  fire
• 29:56
  Frank.
• 29:57
  But
• 29:57
  here's
• 29:57
  what
• 29:57
  I
• 29:58
  am
• 29:58
  willing
• 29:58
  to
• 29:58
  do.
• 29:58
  Willing
• 29:59
  to
• 29:59
  talk
• 29:59
  to
• 29:59
  you
• 29:59
  about
• 30:00
  this
• 30:00
  at
• 30:00
  4
• 30:00
  o'clock
• 30:00
  today.
• 30:01
  I
• 30:01
  will
• 30:01
  give
• 30:01
  you
• 30:01
  my
• 30:02
  undivided
• 30:02
  attention,
• 30:02
  but
• 30:03
  let's
• 30:03
  push
• 30:03
  this
• 30:03
  to
• 30:03
  four.
• 30:03
  Does
• 30:04
  four
• 30:04
  work
• 30:04
  for
• 30:04
  you?
• 30:05
  So
• 30:05
  again,
• 30:05
  I'm
• 30:06
  leaning
• 30:06
  in,
• 30:07
  but
• 30:07
  I
• 30:07
  have
• 30:07
  a
• 30:07
  firm
• 30:08
  spine.
• 30:09
  Yeah,
• 30:09
  I
• 30:09
  love
• 30:09
  that.
• 30:10
  Beautiful.
• 30:11
  Really
• 30:11
  great
• 30:11
  examples,
• 30:12
  too.
• 30:13
  So
• 30:13
  then
• 30:13
  you
• 30:14
  talk
• 30:14
  about
• 30:15
  owning
• 30:15
  your
• 30:15
  shit.
• 30:17
  And
• 30:18
  I
• 30:18
  love
• 30:18
  that
• 30:19
  because
• 30:20
  it's
• 30:20
  really
• 30:20
  easy
• 30:21
  to
• 30:21
  go
• 30:21
  in
• 30:21
  and
• 30:21
  complain
• 30:21
  about
• 30:22
  Frank.
• 30:22
  Yeah.
• 30:23
  Right.
• 30:23
  And
• 30:23
  by
• 30:23
  the
• 30:24
  way,
• 30:24
  my
• 30:24
  husband's
• 30:24
  name
• 30:24
  is
• 30:25
  Frank.
• 30:25
  Love
• 30:26
  keeping
• 30:26
  him.
• 30:26
  But
• 30:27
  when
• 30:27
  I
• 30:27
  think
• 30:27
  about.
• 30:28
  And
• 30:28
  now
• 30:29
  we're
• 30:29
  going
• 30:29
  into
• 30:29
  marriage.
• 30:30
  So
• 30:30
  when
• 30:30
  we
• 30:30
  talk
• 30:31
  about
• 30:31
  in
• 30:31
  your
• 30:31
  book
• 30:32
  this,
• 30:32
  sex,
• 30:34
  money
• 30:34
  and
• 30:34
  success
• 30:35
  or
• 30:35
  power,
• 30:36
  it's
• 30:36
  important
• 30:37
  for
• 30:37
  us
• 30:37
  to
• 30:37
  own
• 30:37
  our
• 30:38
  shit.
• 30:38
  And
• 30:38
  you
• 30:39
  have
• 30:39
  this
• 30:39
  term
• 30:39
  distinct
• 30:40
  theirs.
• 30:41
  Yes.
• 30:42
  What
• 30:42
  is
• 30:43
  that?
• 30:43
  I
• 30:44
  love
• 30:44
  this.
• 30:44
  And
• 30:44
  I
• 30:44
  wish
• 30:45
  I'd
• 30:45
  learned
• 30:45
  this
• 30:45
  a
• 30:45
  long
• 30:45
  time
• 30:46
  ago,
• 30:46
  because
• 30:46
  when
• 30:46
  I
• 30:46
  found
• 30:47
  it,
• 30:47
  it
• 30:48
  really
• 30:48
  is
• 30:48
  magical.
• 30:49
  Owning
• 30:49
  your
• 30:50
  shit
• 30:50
  means
• 30:50
  we
• 30:51
  all
• 30:51
  step
• 30:51
  in
• 30:51
  it.
• 30:52
  We
• 30:52
  all
• 30:52
  have
• 30:52
  missteps.
• 30:53
  We
• 30:53
  say
• 30:53
  things
• 30:53
  that
• 30:54
  we
• 30:54
  don't
• 30:54
  mean
• 30:54
  to.
• 30:55
  We
• 30:55
  do
• 30:55
  things
• 30:56
  in
• 30:56
  a
• 30:56
  state
• 30:56
  of
• 30:57
  egoic
• 30:57
  hijacking.
• 30:58
  I
• 30:59
  got
• 30:59
  really
• 31:00
  good
• 31:01
  later
• 31:01
  in
• 31:02
  life
• 31:02
  about
• 31:03
  saying,
• 31:03
  wait,
• 31:04
  I
• 31:04
  did
• 31:04
  not
• 31:04
  mean
• 31:04
  to
• 31:05
  say
• 31:05
  that.
• 31:05
  That
• 31:05
  was
• 31:05
  a
• 31:05
  reaction.
• 31:06
  Here's
• 31:07
  my
• 31:07
  more
• 31:07
  thoughtful
• 31:07
  response
• 31:08
  and
• 31:08
  just
• 31:09
  being
• 31:09
  really
• 31:09
  quick
• 31:09
  about
• 31:10
  it.
• 31:10
  Or
• 31:11
  suppose
• 31:11
  you
• 31:12
  need
• 31:12
  to
• 31:12
  go
• 31:12
  back
• 31:12
  and
• 31:12
  apologize
• 31:13
  for
• 31:13
  something
• 31:13
  you
• 31:14
  said
• 31:14
  a
• 31:14
  week
• 31:14
  prior.
• 31:15
  Own
• 31:15
  that.
• 31:15
  So
• 31:16
  I
• 31:16
  might
• 31:16
  come
• 31:16
  back
• 31:16
  to
• 31:17
  you
• 31:17
  and
• 31:17
  say,
• 31:17
  hey,
• 31:17
  Coco,
• 31:17
  I
• 31:18
  thought
• 31:18
  I
• 31:18
  could
• 31:18
  let
• 31:18
  this
• 31:19
  go
• 31:19
  and
• 31:19
  I
• 31:20
  just
• 31:20
  can't.
• 31:20
  It
• 31:20
  keeps
• 31:21
  taking
• 31:21
  up
• 31:21
  headspace.
• 31:22
  I
• 31:23
  reacted
• 31:23
  last
• 31:24
  week
• 31:24
  and
• 31:24
  that
• 31:25
  was
• 31:25
  not
• 31:25
  my
• 31:25
  finest
• 31:26
  moment
• 31:26
  and
• 31:26
  I
• 31:26
  owe
• 31:26
  you
• 31:27
  an
• 31:27
  apology
• 31:27
  and
• 31:27
  I
• 31:27
  want
• 31:27
  to
• 31:28
  apologize
• 31:28
  for
• 31:28
  saying
• 31:28
  that.
• 31:29
  Now.
• 31:29
  If
• 31:30
  the
• 31:30
  other
• 31:30
  person
• 31:31
  doesn't
• 31:31
  want
• 31:31
  to
• 31:31
  accept
• 31:32
  your
• 31:32
  apology,
• 31:33
  that's
• 31:33
  on
• 31:33
  them.
• 31:34
  Yeah.
• 31:34
  You
• 31:34
  are
• 31:35
  not
• 31:35
  responsible
• 31:35
  for
• 31:35
  somebody
• 31:36
  else's
• 31:36
  reactions.
• 31:37
  I'll
• 31:37
  give
• 31:37
  you
• 31:37
  a
• 31:37
  classic
• 31:37
  example.
• 31:38
  About
• 31:39
  five
• 31:39
  years
• 31:39
  ago,
• 31:40
  I
• 31:41
  was
• 31:41
  very
• 31:41
  quick
• 31:41
  to
• 31:42
  react
• 31:42
  to
• 31:43
  somebody
• 31:43
  in
• 31:43
  a
• 31:43
  meeting.
• 31:44
  The
• 31:44
  wrong
• 31:45
  thing
• 31:45
  to
• 31:45
  say
• 31:46
  when
• 31:46
  somebody
• 31:46
  is
• 31:47
  emotional
• 31:47
  is
• 31:47
  to
• 31:48
  call
• 31:48
  them
• 31:48
  out
• 31:48
  as
• 31:48
  being
• 31:49
  super.
• 31:49
  And
• 31:49
  it's
• 31:49
  like,
• 31:49
  I
• 31:50
  know
• 31:50
  better
• 31:51
  not
• 31:51
  to
• 31:51
  do
• 31:51
  that.
• 31:52
  It's
• 31:52
  like
• 31:52
  telling
• 31:52
  somebody
• 31:52
  to
• 31:52
  calm
• 31:53
  down
• 31:53
  when
• 31:53
  they're
• 31:53
  not.
• 31:53
  You
• 31:53
  just
• 31:54
  don't
• 31:54
  know
• 31:54
  it.
• 31:55
  So
• 31:56
  I
• 31:56
  very
• 31:56
  quickly
• 31:57
  caught
• 31:57
  myself
• 31:57
  and
• 31:57
  I
• 31:58
  owned
• 31:58
  my
• 31:58
  shit.
• 31:59
  And
• 31:59
  I
• 31:59
  said,
• 31:59
  I
• 32:00
  am
• 32:00
  so
• 32:00
  sorry.
• 32:01
  It
• 32:01
  was
• 32:01
  completely
• 32:02
  not
• 32:02
  what
• 32:02
  I
• 32:02
  meant
• 32:02
  to
• 32:03
  say.
• 32:03
  That
• 32:03
  was
• 32:03
  a
• 32:03
  reaction.
• 32:04
  My
• 32:04
  thoughtful
• 32:05
  response
• 32:05
  is,
• 32:06
  your
• 32:06
  concerns
• 32:06
  are
• 32:07
  valid
• 32:07
  and
• 32:07
  we
• 32:07
  need
• 32:08
  to
• 32:08
  talk
• 32:08
  about
• 32:08
  it.
• 32:08
  It
• 32:09
  was
• 32:09
  too
• 32:09
  late.
• 32:10
  This
• 32:10
  person
• 32:11
  decided
• 32:11
  that
• 32:12
  I
• 32:12
  was
• 32:12
  awful.
• 32:13
  And
• 32:13
  here's
• 32:14
  what
• 32:14
  I
• 32:14
  had
• 32:14
  to
• 32:14
  tell
• 32:14
  myself.
• 32:15
  That's
• 32:15
  also
• 32:16
  a
• 32:16
  choice.
• 32:17
  That's
• 32:17
  everybody's
• 32:18
  where
• 32:18
  they're
• 32:18
  at.
• 32:18
  So
• 32:19
  I
• 32:20
  stayed
• 32:20
  calm.
• 32:21
  I
• 32:21
  met
• 32:21
  them
• 32:21
  where
• 32:22
  they
• 32:22
  were
• 32:22
  at.
• 32:22
  It
• 32:23
  was
• 32:23
  not
• 32:23
  pretty
• 32:24
  for
• 32:24
  several
• 32:24
  minutes.
• 32:25
  And
• 32:25
  that's
• 32:26
  okay.
• 32:27
  We
• 32:27
  can
• 32:27
  face
• 32:28
  these
• 32:28
  things.
• 32:28
  The
• 32:29
  distinct
• 32:29
  technique
• 32:30
  is
• 32:30
  a
• 32:30
  beautiful
• 32:31
  way
• 32:31
  to,
• 32:32
  and
• 32:32
  I'll
• 32:32
  use
• 32:33
  the
• 32:33
  analogy,
• 32:35
  take
• 32:35
  either
• 32:35
  the
• 32:35
  wind
• 32:36
  out
• 32:36
  of
• 32:37
  somebody's
• 32:37
  sail
• 32:38
  or
• 32:39
  stop
• 32:40
  the
• 32:40
  grenade
• 32:41
  from
• 32:41
  going
• 32:41
  off.
• 32:43
  So
• 32:43
  let's
• 32:44
  just
• 32:44
  say
• 32:45
  Frank,
• 32:45
  now
• 32:46
  a
• 32:46
  husband
• 32:47
  comes
• 32:47
  to
• 32:47
  you
• 32:48
  and
• 32:48
  he's
• 32:48
  holding
• 32:49
  up
• 32:49
  this
• 32:49
  whole
• 32:49
  thing
• 32:50
  of
• 32:50
  wilted
• 32:50
  lettuce.
• 32:51
  And
• 32:51
  he's
• 32:52
  like,
• 32:52
  we
• 32:52
  always
• 32:52
  buy
• 32:53
  too
• 32:53
  much
• 32:53
  lettuce.
• 32:54
  We
• 32:54
  always
• 32:54
  Waste
• 32:55
  so
• 32:55
  much
• 32:55
  lettuce.
• 32:56
  I'm
• 32:56
  tired
• 32:57
  of
• 32:57
  spending
• 32:57
  all
• 32:57
  this
• 32:58
  money
• 32:58
  on
• 32:58
  lettuce
• 32:58
  that
• 32:59
  we
• 32:59
  waste.
• 32:59
  Now
• 32:59
  I'm
• 33:00
  being
• 33:00
  silly,
• 33:00
  but
• 33:01
  I
• 33:01
  think
• 33:01
  some
• 33:01
  of
• 33:01
  you
• 33:01
  can
• 33:02
  relate.
• 33:02
  There's
• 33:02
  usually
• 33:03
  something
• 33:03
  in
• 33:03
  the
• 33:03
  refrigerator.
• 33:04
  We
• 33:04
  often
• 33:04
  throw
• 33:05
  away.
• 33:05
  Instead
• 33:06
  of
• 33:06
  getting
• 33:06
  defensive
• 33:07
  and
• 33:07
  being
• 33:07
  like,
• 33:07
  well,
• 33:07
  I'm
• 33:08
  on
• 33:08
  a
• 33:08
  green
• 33:08
  smoothie
• 33:08
  kick
• 33:09
  and
• 33:09
  I'm
• 33:09
  trying
• 33:09
  to
• 33:09
  live
• 33:10
  health.
• 33:10
  Like,
• 33:10
  we
• 33:11
  get
• 33:11
  all
• 33:11
  defensive,
• 33:11
  right?
• 33:12
  The
• 33:13
  Destinck
• 33:13
  technique
• 33:14
  is
• 33:14
  really
• 33:14
  simple
• 33:15
  because
• 33:15
  it's
• 33:15
  two
• 33:15
  lines.
• 33:17
  Throwing
• 33:17
  away
• 33:18
  lettuce
• 33:19
  frustrates
• 33:19
  me
• 33:20
  too.
• 33:21
  Will
• 33:21
  you
• 33:21
  help
• 33:21
  me?
• 33:22
  So
• 33:22
  it
• 33:22
  could
• 33:22
  be
• 33:22
  anything.
• 33:23
  It
• 33:23
  could
• 33:23
  be
• 33:23
  like
• 33:24
  forgetting
• 33:24
  to
• 33:24
  take
• 33:25
  out
• 33:25
  the
• 33:25
  trash
• 33:25
  bins
• 33:26
  frustrates
• 33:26
  me
• 33:27
  too.
• 33:27
  Will
• 33:27
  you
• 33:27
  help
• 33:27
  me?
• 33:28
  It
• 33:28
  could
• 33:28
  be
• 33:29
  anything
• 33:29
  that
• 33:30
  if
• 33:30
  somebody
• 33:30
  is
• 33:30
  annoyed,
• 33:31
  frustrated,
• 33:32
  upset
• 33:33
  about,
• 33:33
  you
• 33:34
  can
• 33:34
  be
• 33:34
  like
• 33:34
  that.
• 33:34
  Frustrates,
• 33:35
  annoys,
• 33:35
  like
• 33:35
  whatever
• 33:36
  emotion
• 33:36
  they're
• 33:36
  saying,
• 33:37
  you
• 33:37
  agree
• 33:38
  with
• 33:38
  that.
• 33:38
  But
• 33:38
  then
• 33:38
  here's
• 33:39
  the
• 33:39
  kicker.
• 33:40
  Will
• 33:41
  you
• 33:41
  help
• 33:41
  me?
• 33:43
  Because
• 33:43
  now
• 33:43
  what
• 33:43
  you've
• 33:43
  done
• 33:44
  is
• 33:44
  you
• 33:44
  said
• 33:45
  you
• 33:45
  can
• 33:46
  move
• 33:46
  from
• 33:46
  venting,
• 33:48
  complaining
• 33:48
  and
• 33:49
  attacking
• 33:50
  to
• 33:50
  being
• 33:50
  on
• 33:51
  my
• 33:51
  side.
• 33:52
  Usually
• 33:53
  what
• 33:53
  I
• 33:53
  joke
• 33:53
  is
• 33:54
  the
• 33:54
  pin
• 33:54
  from
• 33:54
  the
• 33:54
  grenade
• 33:55
  has
• 33:55
  already
• 33:55
  been
• 33:56
  pulled.
• 33:56
  So
• 33:57
  they're
• 33:57
  going
• 33:57
  to
• 33:57
  be
• 33:57
  like,
• 33:57
  no,
• 33:58
  I'm
• 33:58
  serious.
• 33:59
  You
• 33:59
  know,
• 33:59
  I'm
• 33:59
  going
• 33:59
  to
• 34:00
  throw
• 34:00
  this
• 34:00
  grenade
• 34:00
  at
• 34:00
  you.
• 34:00
  I
• 34:01
  am
• 34:01
  upset
• 34:01
  about
• 34:01
  this.
• 34:02
  And
• 34:02
  all
• 34:02
  you
• 34:02
  do
• 34:03
  is
• 34:03
  double
• 34:04
  down
• 34:04
  on
• 34:04
  the
• 34:05
  distinct
• 34:05
  technique.
• 34:06
  No,
• 34:07
  I'm
• 34:07
  serious.
• 34:08
  It
• 34:08
  does.
• 34:08
  It
• 34:08
  frustrates
• 34:09
  me
• 34:09
  too.
• 34:09
  Will
• 34:10
  you
• 34:10
  help
• 34:10
  me?
• 34:11
  And
• 34:11
  all
• 34:11
  of
• 34:12
  a
• 34:12
  sudden,
• 34:12
  they've
• 34:12
  moved
• 34:12
  from
• 34:13
  attacker
• 34:14
  to
• 34:14
  problem
• 34:15
  solver.
• 34:16
  And
• 34:16
  it's
• 34:16
  a
• 34:16
  beautiful
• 34:16
  shift
• 34:17
  in
• 34:17
  energy.
• 34:18
  Yes.
• 34:19
  So
• 34:20
  my
• 34:20
  take
• 34:20
  on
• 34:21
  this
• 34:22
  is,
• 34:24
  what
• 34:24
  you're
• 34:24
  saying
• 34:25
  is,
• 34:25
  first
• 34:26
  of
• 34:26
  all,
• 34:26
  I'm
• 34:27
  not
• 34:27
  in
• 34:27
  a
• 34:27
  defensive
• 34:28
  position.
• 34:28
  And
• 34:29
  I'm
• 34:29
  not
• 34:29
  saying
• 34:29
  that
• 34:29
  you're
• 34:30
  wrong.
• 34:30
  What
• 34:31
  I'm
• 34:31
  saying
• 34:31
  is
• 34:33
  I'm
• 34:33
  not
• 34:33
  sure
• 34:33
  that
• 34:34
  I'm
• 34:34
  going
• 34:34
  to
• 34:34
  do
• 34:34
  this
• 34:34
  on
• 34:35
  my
• 34:35
  own.
• 34:35
  So
• 34:35
  rather
• 34:36
  than
• 34:36
  ganging
• 34:37
  up
• 34:37
  on
• 34:37
  me,
• 34:38
  just
• 34:38
  become
• 34:38
  my
• 34:38
  ally.
• 34:40
  And
• 34:40
  then
• 34:40
  here's
• 34:41
  what
• 34:41
  happens.
• 34:41
  You
• 34:41
  shift
• 34:43
  the
• 34:43
  energy,
• 34:44
  but
• 34:44
  you
• 34:45
  also
• 34:45
  shift
• 34:45
  the
• 34:45
  role
• 34:46
  that
• 34:46
  that
• 34:46
  person
• 34:46
  plays.
• 34:47
  If
• 34:47
  they're
• 34:48
  not
• 34:48
  sincere
• 34:49
  about
• 34:49
  being
• 34:49
  your
• 34:50
  ally
• 34:50
  and
• 34:50
  all
• 34:51
  they
• 34:51
  want
• 34:51
  to
• 34:51
  do
• 34:51
  is
• 34:51
  attack,
• 34:52
  then
• 34:52
  that's
• 34:52
  a
• 34:52
  different
• 34:53
  conversation.
• 34:54
  But
• 34:54
  if
• 34:54
  they're
• 34:55
  like,
• 34:55
  oh,
• 34:55
  okay,
• 34:56
  you're
• 34:56
  not
• 34:56
  trying
• 34:56
  to
• 34:57
  be
• 34:57
  difficult.
• 34:57
  You're
• 34:58
  not
• 34:58
  trying
• 34:58
  to
• 34:58
  annoy
• 34:59
  me.
• 34:59
  This
• 34:59
  is
• 35:00
  just
• 35:00
  something
• 35:00
  that
• 35:00
  we
• 35:00
  can
• 35:00
  maybe
• 35:01
  figure
• 35:01
  out
• 35:01
  a
• 35:01
  new
• 35:01
  system
• 35:01
  for
• 35:02
  or
• 35:02
  a
• 35:02
  new
• 35:03
  way
• 35:03
  to
• 35:03
  approach
• 35:03
  it,
• 35:04
  then
• 35:04
  you're
• 35:04
  back
• 35:04
  in
• 35:05
  that
• 35:05
  frequency
• 35:05
  of
• 35:05
  support,
• 35:06
  ally,
• 35:06
  friendship,
• 35:07
  love,
• 35:07
  whatever
• 35:08
  it
• 35:08
  is.
• 35:09
  Will
• 35:09
  you
• 35:10
  help
• 35:10
  me?
• 35:10
  It's
• 35:10
  disarming
• 35:11
  and
• 35:12
  softening,
• 35:13
  and
• 35:13
  I
• 35:14
  love
• 35:14
  that.
• 35:14
  That's
• 35:14
  really
• 35:15
  great.
• 35:15
  And
• 35:15
  it
• 35:15
  would
• 35:16
  be
• 35:16
  the
• 35:16
  unbelievable
• 35:17
  number
• 35:17
  of
• 35:18
  subscriptions
• 35:19
  for
• 35:19
  299
• 35:20
  that
• 35:20
  appear
• 35:20
  on.
• 35:21
  Our
• 35:21
  credit
• 35:22
  cards
• 35:22
  every
• 35:22
  month.
• 35:25
  Okay,
• 35:25
  but
• 35:25
  isn't
• 35:25
  that
• 35:26
  beautiful?
• 35:27
  Yeah,
• 35:27
  Go,
• 35:27
  go.
• 35:28
  Let's
• 35:28
  roleplay
• 35:28
  really
• 35:29
  quick.
• 35:30
  Yes,
• 35:31
  exactly.
• 35:31
  All
• 35:31
  right,
• 35:32
  so
• 35:32
  if
• 35:32
  I
• 35:32
  come
• 35:33
  to
• 35:33
  you
• 35:33
  and
• 35:33
  I'm
• 35:33
  like,
• 35:33
  kabo,
• 35:34
  there's
• 35:35
  at
• 35:35
  least
• 35:35
  12,
• 35:36
  299
• 35:37
  numbers
• 35:37
  on
• 35:38
  this
• 35:38
  credit
• 35:38
  card
• 35:38
  statement.
• 35:39
  What
• 35:39
  is
• 35:39
  going
• 35:40
  on?
• 35:41
  Oh,
• 35:41
  I
• 35:41
  hate
• 35:42
  all
• 35:42
  those
• 35:43
  subscriptions.
• 35:44
  I
• 35:44
  frustrates
• 35:45
  me,
• 35:45
  too.
• 35:46
  Will
• 35:46
  you
• 35:46
  help
• 35:46
  me?
• 35:49
  I
• 35:49
  love
• 35:49
  it.
• 35:50
  Good
• 35:50
  job.
• 35:51
  And
• 35:51
  notice
• 35:51
  the
• 35:52
  difference.
• 35:52
  That
• 35:53
  is
• 35:53
  such
• 35:53
  a
• 35:54
  flip
• 35:55
  on
• 35:55
  the,
• 35:55
  oh,
• 35:56
  I'm
• 35:56
  trying
• 35:56
  to
• 35:56
  do
• 35:56
  things
• 35:56
  for
• 35:57
  her
• 35:57
  family.
• 35:57
  And
• 35:57
  it
• 35:58
  completely
• 35:58
  shifts
• 35:59
  from
• 35:59
  defensiveness
• 36:00
  to,
• 36:01
  let's
• 36:01
  move
• 36:01
  forward
• 36:01
  together.
• 36:03
  Right?
• 36:03
  And
• 36:03
  this
• 36:03
  is.
• 36:04
  I
• 36:04
  think
• 36:04
  about
• 36:04
  this
• 36:05
  in
• 36:05
  all
• 36:05
  the
• 36:05
  places
• 36:05
  that
• 36:06
  founders
• 36:06
  have
• 36:06
  this.
• 36:07
  Sometimes
• 36:07
  as
• 36:07
  a
• 36:07
  founder,
• 36:08
  we
• 36:08
  think
• 36:08
  everything
• 36:09
  is
• 36:09
  on
• 36:09
  us,
• 36:10
  which
• 36:10
  at
• 36:11
  the
• 36:11
  end
• 36:11
  of
• 36:11
  the
• 36:11
  day,
• 36:11
  the
• 36:12
  buck
• 36:12
  stops
• 36:12
  with
• 36:12
  us.
• 36:13
  That's
• 36:13
  true.
• 36:13
  But
• 36:14
  we
• 36:14
  don't
• 36:15
  have
• 36:15
  to
• 36:15
  solve
• 36:16
  every
• 36:16
  problem
• 36:17
  and
• 36:17
  every
• 36:17
  reason
• 36:18
  an
• 36:18
  employee
• 36:18
  comes
• 36:19
  to
• 36:19
  us
• 36:19
  and
• 36:19
  has
• 36:20
  an
• 36:20
  issue.
• 36:21
  Right.
• 36:21
  We
• 36:21
  don't
• 36:22
  have
• 36:22
  to.
• 36:22
  And
• 36:23
  so
• 36:23
  this
• 36:23
  is
• 36:23
  such
• 36:24
  a
• 36:24
  great
• 36:24
  way.
• 36:25
  How
• 36:25
  can
• 36:25
  you
• 36:25
  help
• 36:25
  me
• 36:26
  with
• 36:26
  this?
• 36:26
  And
• 36:26
  I
• 36:27
  think
• 36:27
  for
• 36:27
  entrepreneurs,
• 36:29
  sometimes
• 36:29
  it
• 36:29
  can
• 36:29
  feel
• 36:30
  very
• 36:30
  vulnerable
• 36:31
  to
• 36:31
  ask
• 36:31
  for
• 36:31
  help.
• 36:32
  And
• 36:32
  somebody
• 36:33
  comes
• 36:33
  to
• 36:33
  you
• 36:33
  and
• 36:33
  says,
• 36:34
  the
• 36:34
  wi
• 36:34
  fi
• 36:34
  is
• 36:34
  intermittent
• 36:35
  again,
• 36:36
  Right?
• 36:36
  And
• 36:37
  instead
• 36:37
  of
• 36:37
  taking
• 36:37
  that
• 36:38
  on,
• 36:38
  like,
• 36:38
  okay,
• 36:38
  I'll
• 36:39
  call
• 36:39
  them
• 36:39
  back,
• 36:39
  right?
• 36:39
  Because
• 36:40
  you're
• 36:40
  wearing
• 36:40
  all
• 36:40
  these
• 36:40
  hats,
• 36:41
  you're
• 36:41
  spinning
• 36:41
  all
• 36:41
  these
• 36:42
  plates.
• 36:42
  You
• 36:43
  look
• 36:43
  at
• 36:43
  that
• 36:43
  individual
• 36:44
  and
• 36:44
  say,
• 36:44
  you
• 36:45
  know
• 36:45
  what?
• 36:45
  It's
• 36:45
  driving
• 36:46
  me
• 36:46
  crazy,
• 36:46
  too.
• 36:47
  Will
• 36:47
  you
• 36:47
  help
• 36:47
  me?
• 36:48
  Will
• 36:48
  you
• 36:48
  please
• 36:48
  call
• 36:49
  the
• 36:49
  Internet
• 36:50
  provider
• 36:50
  and
• 36:51
  see
• 36:51
  if
• 36:51
  we
• 36:51
  can't
• 36:52
  find
• 36:52
  a
• 36:52
  better
• 36:52
  solution?
• 36:53
  Like,
• 36:53
  all
• 36:53
  of
• 36:53
  a
• 36:53
  sudden,
• 36:54
  it's
• 36:54
  this
• 36:54
  beautiful
• 36:55
  way.
• 36:55
  And
• 36:55
  by
• 36:55
  the
• 36:55
  way,
• 36:56
  that
• 36:56
  is
• 36:56
  also
• 36:57
  a
• 36:57
  magical
• 36:57
  phrase
• 36:58
  now.
• 36:58
  So
• 36:59
  let's
• 36:59
  keep
• 36:59
  going
• 36:59
  with
• 36:59
  that
• 37:00
  is
• 37:00
  a
• 37:01
  fantastic
• 37:02
  way
• 37:02
  to
• 37:02
  ask
• 37:03
  for
• 37:03
  help,
• 37:04
  because
• 37:04
  it's
• 37:04
  giving
• 37:05
  somebody
• 37:05
  agency.
• 37:06
  It's
• 37:06
  not
• 37:06
  dictatorial.
• 37:07
  Call
• 37:07
  the
• 37:08
  IT
• 37:08
  company.
• 37:09
  Call
• 37:09
  that
• 37:09
  subscription
• 37:10
  service
• 37:10
  provider,
• 37:11
  which
• 37:11
  sounds
• 37:12
  very
• 37:13
  authoritarian.
• 37:14
  And
• 37:15
  nobody
• 37:15
  want.
• 37:15
  No
• 37:15
  adult
• 37:16
  really
• 37:16
  wants
• 37:16
  to
• 37:16
  be
• 37:16
  told.
• 37:17
  Everybody
• 37:17
  loves
• 37:17
  to
• 37:17
  be
• 37:17
  asked.
• 37:18
  Nobody
• 37:18
  wants
• 37:18
  to
• 37:18
  be
• 37:18
  told.
• 37:19
  So
• 37:19
  when
• 37:19
  you
• 37:19
  say,
• 37:19
  hey,
• 37:20
  would
• 37:20
  you
• 37:20
  be
• 37:20
  willing
• 37:21
  to
• 37:21
  help
• 37:21
  me?
• 37:21
  As
• 37:22
  soon
• 37:22
  as
• 37:22
  that
• 37:22
  person
• 37:23
  says,
• 37:23
  yes,
• 37:24
  it
• 37:24
  is
• 37:24
  their
• 37:25
  own
• 37:25
  agency,
• 37:26
  it
• 37:26
  is
• 37:26
  their
• 37:27
  own
• 37:27
  good
• 37:27
  idea,
• 37:28
  and
• 37:28
  now
• 37:29
  they
• 37:29
  can
• 37:29
  put
• 37:29
  on
• 37:29
  the
• 37:29
  cape
• 37:30
  and
• 37:30
  be
• 37:30
  the
• 37:30
  superhero.
• 37:33
  You
• 37:33
  talk
• 37:33
  about
• 37:33
  the
• 37:34
  cape
• 37:34
  in
• 37:34
  your
• 37:34
  book,
• 37:35
  right?
• 37:35
  Like,
• 37:36
  when
• 37:36
  you
• 37:36
  wear
• 37:37
  the
• 37:37
  cape
• 37:37
  and
• 37:37
  when
• 37:37
  somebody
• 37:38
  else
• 37:38
  wears
• 37:38
  the
• 37:38
  cape,
• 37:39
  I
• 37:39
  think
• 37:39
  that's
• 37:39
  really
• 37:39
  powerful
• 37:40
  and
• 37:40
  useful
• 37:41
  to
• 37:41
  all
• 37:41
  of
• 37:41
  us.
• 37:42
  So
• 37:42
  then
• 37:42
  you
• 37:43
  talk
• 37:43
  about,
• 37:44
  know
• 37:44
  your
• 37:45
  lines,
• 37:45
  and
• 37:45
  here's
• 37:45
  where
• 37:46
  you're
• 37:46
  talking
• 37:46
  about
• 37:47
  boundaries,
• 37:48
  what
• 37:48
  to
• 37:48
  say
• 37:49
  and
• 37:49
  where
• 37:49
  to
• 37:49
  draw
• 37:50
  them.
• 37:50
  Tell
• 37:50
  us
• 37:50
  a
• 37:51
  little
• 37:51
  bit
• 37:51
  about
• 37:51
  this.
• 37:53
  Ann
• 37:53
  Lalant
• 37:54
  did
• 37:54
  a
• 37:54
  beautiful
• 37:55
  job
• 37:55
  of
• 37:55
  telling
• 37:55
  us
• 37:56
  that
• 37:56
  no
• 37:57
  was
• 37:57
  a
• 37:57
  complete
• 37:58
  sentence.
• 37:59
  And
• 37:59
  I
• 38:00
  loved
• 38:00
  that
• 38:00
  when
• 38:01
  I
• 38:01
  read
• 38:01
  no
• 38:01
  is
• 38:02
  a
• 38:02
  complete
• 38:02
  sentence.
• 38:03
  Was
• 38:03
  my
• 38:03
  upbringing.
• 38:04
  It
• 38:04
  was
• 38:04
  maybe,
• 38:04
  no,
• 38:04
  thank
• 38:05
  you,
• 38:05
  but
• 38:05
  that's
• 38:06
  still
• 38:06
  a
• 38:06
  complete
• 38:07
  sentence.
• 38:08
  And
• 38:08
  so
• 38:09
  it's
• 38:10
  this
• 38:10
  beautiful
• 38:10
  way
• 38:11
  of
• 38:11
  saying,
• 38:11
  do
• 38:12
  I
• 38:12
  have
• 38:12
  a
• 38:12
  magical
• 38:12
  phrase?
• 38:14
  Can
• 38:14
  I
• 38:14
  hold
• 38:14
  my
• 38:14
  own?
• 38:14
  And
• 38:15
  this
• 38:15
  really
• 38:15
  comes
• 38:15
  from
• 38:16
  a
• 38:16
  sense
• 38:16
  of
• 38:16
  vulnerability.
• 38:17
  The
• 38:17
  irony
• 38:17
  about
• 38:18
  my
• 38:18
  past
• 38:19
  is
• 38:19
  that
• 38:19
  despite
• 38:20
  all
• 38:20
  the
• 38:21
  confidence
• 38:21
  that
• 38:22
  my
• 38:22
  parents
• 38:22
  gave
• 38:22
  me
• 38:23
  and
• 38:23
  all
• 38:23
  the
• 38:23
  love,
• 38:25
  I
• 38:25
  was
• 38:26
  very
• 38:27
  insecure
• 38:28
  about
• 38:28
  holding
• 38:29
  my
• 38:29
  own
• 38:30
  with
• 38:30
  others,
• 38:31
  especially
• 38:33
  dominating
• 38:34
  authority
• 38:34
  figures,
• 38:35
  I
• 38:35
  would
• 38:35
  turn
• 38:36
  red.
• 38:37
  I
• 38:37
  would
• 38:37
  get
• 38:37
  a
• 38:37
  little
• 38:38
  verklempt
• 38:39
  or
• 38:39
  not
• 38:40
  know
• 38:40
  what
• 38:40
  to
• 38:40
  say
• 38:40
  and
• 38:40
  my
• 38:41
  throat
• 38:41
  would
• 38:41
  get
• 38:41
  tight.
• 38:42
  It
• 38:42
  wasn't
• 38:42
  until
• 38:42
  I
• 38:43
  went
• 38:43
  to
• 38:43
  grad
• 38:43
  school
• 38:44
  that
• 38:44
  I
• 38:44
  realized
• 38:44
  this
• 38:45
  is
• 38:45
  all
• 38:45
  natural.
• 38:46
  You
• 38:46
  know,
• 38:46
  the
• 38:46
  mind,
• 38:46
  body
• 38:47
  connection,
• 38:47
  the
• 38:47
  physiological
• 38:48
  response.
• 38:49
  Everything
• 38:49
  happening
• 38:49
  on
• 38:50
  a
• 38:50
  systolic
• 38:50
  level
• 38:51
  is
• 38:52
  a
• 38:52
  reaction
• 38:53
  to
• 38:53
  the
• 38:53
  fact
• 38:53
  that
• 38:53
  we're
• 38:54
  anxious
• 38:54
  or
• 38:54
  we're
• 38:54
  nervous
• 38:55
  or
• 38:55
  that
• 38:55
  we
• 38:55
  just
• 38:56
  care.
• 38:57
  I
• 38:57
  mean,
• 38:57
  that's
• 38:57
  the
• 38:57
  thing
• 38:58
  that
• 38:58
  for
• 38:58
  women,
• 38:58
  I
• 38:59
  often
• 38:59
  say
• 38:59
  is
• 38:59
  don't
• 39:00
  apologize
• 39:00
  for
• 39:00
  caring.
• 39:01
  Like,
• 39:01
  if
• 39:01
  you
• 39:01
  turn
• 39:02
  red
• 39:02
  and
• 39:02
  get
• 39:02
  a
• 39:02
  little
• 39:02
  teary
• 39:03
  eyed,
• 39:03
  you
• 39:03
  don't
• 39:04
  have
• 39:04
  to
• 39:04
  say,
• 39:04
  I'm
• 39:04
  sorry.
• 39:05
  Just
• 39:05
  take
• 39:05
  a
• 39:06
  deep
• 39:06
  breath
• 39:06
  and
• 39:06
  say,
• 39:07
  okay,
• 39:07
  clearly
• 39:07
  this
• 39:08
  matters
• 39:08
  to
• 39:08
  me.
• 39:09
  That's
• 39:09
  a
• 39:09
  whole
• 39:10
  energy
• 39:10
  shift
• 39:11
  too,
• 39:11
  because
• 39:12
  it
• 39:12
  does.
• 39:12
  Otherwise
• 39:13
  you
• 39:13
  wouldn't
• 39:13
  be
• 39:13
  this
• 39:14
  worked
• 39:14
  up.
• 39:15
  So
• 39:16
  the
• 39:16
  knowing
• 39:16
  your
• 39:17
  lines
• 39:18
  was
• 39:18
  a
• 39:19
  hard
• 39:19
  journey
• 39:19
  for
• 39:20
  me.
• 39:20
  The
• 39:21
  holding
• 39:21
  my
• 39:21
  own,
• 39:22
  knowing
• 39:22
  what
• 39:22
  to
• 39:22
  say,
• 39:23
  putting
• 39:23
  guardrails
• 39:24
  around
• 39:24
  something,
• 39:25
  you
• 39:25
  know,
• 39:25
  somebody
• 39:26
  would
• 39:26
  come
• 39:26
  and
• 39:26
  say,
• 39:27
  you
• 39:27
  know,
• 39:27
  something
• 39:27
  egregious
• 39:28
  or
• 39:30
  offensive
• 39:32
  or
• 39:32
  dismissive
• 39:33
  or
• 39:34
  just
• 39:34
  rude.
• 39:35
  And
• 39:35
  over
• 39:36
  time
• 39:36
  you
• 39:37
  learn
• 39:37
  these
• 39:37
  magical
• 39:38
  phrases.
• 39:38
  And
• 39:38
  so
• 39:38
  that
• 39:39
  was
• 39:39
  sort
• 39:39
  of
• 39:39
  my
• 39:39
  know
• 39:40
  your
• 39:40
  lines,
• 39:40
  literally
• 39:41
  the
• 39:41
  words
• 39:41
  that
• 39:41
  you
• 39:41
  say
• 39:42
  or
• 39:42
  where
• 39:42
  to
• 39:42
  draw
• 39:43
  them.
• 39:43
  And
• 39:43
  to
• 39:44
  me,
• 39:45
  the
• 39:45
  magical
• 39:46
  phrase
• 39:46
  wasn't
• 39:46
  so
• 39:47
  much
• 39:47
  this
• 39:47
  perfect
• 39:48
  script
• 39:49
  as
• 39:49
  it
• 39:49
  was
• 39:49
  just
• 39:49
  a
• 39:50
  line
• 39:51
  to
• 39:51
  hold
• 39:51
  your
• 39:51
  own.
• 39:52
  Somebody
• 39:52
  would
• 39:53
  come
• 39:53
  and
• 39:53
  say,
• 39:53
  you
• 39:54
  know,
• 39:54
  Jane
• 39:55
  is
• 39:55
  going
• 39:55
  to
• 39:55
  the
• 39:55
  bathroom.
• 39:56
  Do
• 39:56
  you
• 39:56
  know
• 39:56
  that
• 39:56
  Jane
• 39:56
  goes
• 39:57
  to
• 39:57
  the
• 39:57
  bathroom
• 39:57
  like
• 39:57
  five
• 39:57
  times
• 39:58
  day?
• 39:58
  And
• 39:59
  like,
• 39:59
  I'm
• 39:59
  not
• 39:59
  making
• 39:59
  this
• 39:59
  up.
• 40:00
  Like,
• 40:00
  this
• 40:00
  was
• 40:00
  a
• 40:00
  corporate
• 40:01
  world
• 40:01
  experience.
• 40:01
  And
• 40:01
  I
• 40:02
  was
• 40:02
  like,
• 40:02
  well,
• 40:02
  what
• 40:03
  are
• 40:03
  you
• 40:03
  hoping
• 40:03
  that
• 40:03
  I
• 40:04
  do
• 40:04
  about
• 40:04
  Jane?
• 40:04
  But
• 40:05
  I
• 40:05
  didn't
• 40:05
  know
• 40:05
  that
• 40:05
  at
• 40:06
  the
• 40:06
  moment.
• 40:06
  I
• 40:06
  was
• 40:06
  like,
• 40:06
  this
• 40:07
  is
• 40:07
  weird,
• 40:07
  this
• 40:07
  is
• 40:08
  awkward.
• 40:08
  I'm
• 40:09
  taking
• 40:09
  notes
• 40:09
  that
• 40:09
  Jane's
• 40:10
  going
• 40:10
  to
• 40:10
  the
• 40:10
  back.
• 40:10
  I
• 40:10
  don't
• 40:10
  know
• 40:11
  what
• 40:11
  to
• 40:11
  do.
• 40:11
  And
• 40:12
  now
• 40:12
  somebody
• 40:12
  comes
• 40:12
  in
• 40:13
  and
• 40:13
  I
• 40:13
  really,
• 40:13
  oh,
• 40:13
  you're
• 40:13
  the
• 40:13
  bathroom
• 40:14
  monitor.
• 40:14
  Like,
• 40:15
  yeah,
• 40:15
  go
• 40:15
  back
• 40:15
  to
• 40:15
  work.
• 40:16
  But
• 40:17
  now
• 40:17
  that.
• 40:18
  Very
• 40:18
  grounded,
• 40:19
  very
• 40:19
  mature.
• 40:20
  Oh,
• 40:20
  well,
• 40:20
  how
• 40:20
  are
• 40:21
  you
• 40:21
  hoping
• 40:21
  that
• 40:21
  I
• 40:21
  responded?
• 40:21
  Well,
• 40:22
  I
• 40:22
  just
• 40:22
  thought
• 40:22
  you
• 40:22
  should
• 40:22
  know,
• 40:23
  you
• 40:23
  know,
• 40:23
  or
• 40:24
  somebody
• 40:24
  would
• 40:24
  come
• 40:24
  to
• 40:24
  me
• 40:24
  and
• 40:25
  they'd
• 40:25
  be
• 40:25
  Like,
• 40:25
  Doug
• 40:26
  heated
• 40:26
  fish
• 40:27
  in
• 40:27
  the
• 40:28
  communal
• 40:28
  microwave.
• 40:29
  And
• 40:29
  I'd
• 40:29
  be
• 40:29
  like,
• 40:29
  okay,
• 40:30
  so
• 40:30
  what
• 40:30
  do
• 40:30
  you
• 40:30
  want
• 40:30
  me
• 40:30
  to
• 40:30
  do?
• 40:31
  Put
• 40:31
  up
• 40:31
  a
• 40:31
  sign?
• 40:31
  The
• 40:31
  Poseidon's
• 40:32
  armpit,
• 40:32
  like,
• 40:33
  is
• 40:33
  now,
• 40:33
  you
• 40:33
  know,
• 40:34
  in
• 40:34
  the.
• 40:35
  So
• 40:35
  it
• 40:35
  was
• 40:35
  like,
• 40:36
  what
• 40:36
  do
• 40:36
  you
• 40:36
  want
• 40:36
  me
• 40:36
  to
• 40:37
  do?
• 40:37
  And
• 40:37
  I
• 40:38
  would
• 40:38
  be
• 40:38
  all
• 40:38
  tongue
• 40:39
  tied
• 40:39
  until
• 40:40
  I
• 40:40
  realized,
• 40:41
  wait
• 40:41
  a
• 40:41
  minute.
• 40:43
  Soft
• 40:43
  heart,
• 40:44
  firm
• 40:44
  spine.
• 40:45
  What
• 40:46
  are
• 40:46
  you
• 40:46
  hoping
• 40:46
  that
• 40:46
  I
• 40:47
  do?
• 40:47
  I
• 40:47
  think
• 40:47
  dumb
• 40:48
  should
• 40:48
  be
• 40:48
  penalized
• 40:49
  or
• 40:49
  banned
• 40:49
  from
• 40:49
  the
• 40:50
  community
• 40:50
  kitchen.
• 40:50
  I'm
• 40:51
  like,
• 40:51
  okay,
• 40:51
  well,
• 40:52
  we're
• 40:52
  not
• 40:52
  banning,
• 40:53
  you
• 40:53
  know,
• 40:53
  Doug,
• 40:53
  but
• 40:53
  here's
• 40:54
  what
• 40:54
  I
• 40:54
  am
• 40:54
  willing
• 40:54
  to
• 40:54
  do.
• 40:55
  The
• 40:55
  next
• 40:55
  time
• 40:56
  somebody
• 40:56
  does
• 40:56
  fish,
• 40:57
  we'll
• 40:57
  call
• 40:57
  it
• 40:57
  an
• 40:57
  ocean
• 40:58
  crime
• 40:58
  scene
• 40:58
  or
• 40:58
  something
• 40:59
  like,
• 40:59
  well,
• 40:59
  we're
• 40:59
  going
• 40:59
  to
• 40:59
  find
• 41:00
  some
• 41:00
  humor
• 41:00
  with
• 41:00
  this.
• 41:00
  But
• 41:01
  the
• 41:01
  truth
• 41:02
  is,
• 41:03
  I'm
• 41:03
  now
• 41:04
  more
• 41:04
  confident
• 41:05
  in
• 41:05
  holding
• 41:06
  my
• 41:06
  own
• 41:06
  and
• 41:06
  saying,
• 41:07
  yeah,
• 41:07
  we're
• 41:07
  not
• 41:08
  escalating
• 41:08
  this.
• 41:10
  Beautiful.
• 41:11
  And
• 41:11
  we
• 41:11
  can
• 41:11
  all
• 41:12
  use
• 41:12
  that,
• 41:13
  whether
• 41:13
  it's
• 41:14
  with
• 41:14
  our
• 41:15
  employees
• 41:16
  or
• 41:16
  our
• 41:16
  teammates.
• 41:17
  Or
• 41:17
  our
• 41:17
  investors
• 41:19
  or
• 41:20
  our
• 41:20
  children.
• 41:21
  Right?
• 41:21
  Our
• 41:21
  friends,
• 41:22
  the.
• 41:23
  The
• 41:23
  ladies
• 41:24
  that,
• 41:24
  you
• 41:24
  know,
• 41:25
  where
• 41:25
  we
• 41:25
  drop
• 41:25
  our
• 41:26
  kids
• 41:26
  off
• 41:26
  and
• 41:27
  whatever
• 41:27
  their
• 41:28
  business
• 41:28
  is.
• 41:29
  Right?
• 41:29
  We
• 41:29
  can.
• 41:30
  We
• 41:30
  can
• 41:30
  use
• 41:30
  that
• 41:30
  everywhere.
• 41:31
  It's
• 41:31
  happening
• 41:32
  everywhere.
• 41:32
  And
• 41:33
  it's
• 41:33
  happening
• 41:33
  everywhere.
• 41:34
  Sometimes
• 41:35
  it's
• 41:35
  slowing
• 41:35
  down
• 41:36
  long
• 41:36
  enough.
• 41:36
  One
• 41:36
  of
• 41:37
  my
• 41:37
  favorite
• 41:37
  magical
• 41:38
  phrases
• 41:38
  is
• 41:39
  when
• 41:39
  somebody
• 41:39
  says
• 41:39
  something
• 41:40
  really
• 41:40
  hurtful,
• 41:41
  Taking
• 41:42
  a
• 41:42
  beat
• 41:43
  and
• 41:43
  looking
• 41:44
  at
• 41:44
  them
• 41:44
  and
• 41:44
  saying,
• 41:46
  I
• 41:46
  can't
• 41:46
  imagine
• 41:47
  how
• 41:48
  much
• 41:48
  pain
• 41:49
  you
• 41:49
  must
• 41:50
  be
• 41:50
  in
• 41:51
  to
• 41:51
  have
• 41:51
  said
• 41:52
  that.
• 41:53
  What's
• 41:53
  going
• 41:54
  on?
• 41:55
  And
• 41:55
  that's
• 41:56
  a
• 41:56
  beautiful
• 41:57
  way
• 41:58
  of
• 41:58
  saying,
• 41:59
  I'm
• 41:59
  not
• 41:59
  taking
• 42:00
  this.
• 42:00
  Or
• 42:00
  you
• 42:00
  can
• 42:01
  also
• 42:01
  say,
• 42:01
  hey,
• 42:01
  it's
• 42:02
  not
• 42:02
  like
• 42:02
  you
• 42:03
  to
• 42:03
  say
• 42:03
  something
• 42:04
  that
• 42:04
  hurtful.
• 42:05
  Did
• 42:05
  you
• 42:05
  mean
• 42:06
  to
• 42:06
  sound
• 42:06
  so
• 42:06
  hurtful?
• 42:07
  What's
• 42:07
  going
• 42:07
  on?
• 42:08
  Right.
• 42:08
  So
• 42:08
  you're
• 42:09
  giving
• 42:09
  somebody
• 42:09
  the
• 42:09
  grace
• 42:10
  of,
• 42:10
  you've
• 42:10
  got
• 42:10
  to
• 42:11
  be
• 42:11
  in
• 42:11
  pain.
• 42:12
  So
• 42:12
  let's
• 42:12
  not
• 42:12
  make
• 42:12
  this
• 42:13
  about
• 42:13
  the
• 42:13
  attack
• 42:13
  that
• 42:13
  you
• 42:14
  just
• 42:14
  made.
• 42:14
  Let
• 42:15
  me
• 42:15
  try
• 42:15
  to
• 42:15
  connect
• 42:15
  with
• 42:15
  you.
• 42:16
  I
• 42:16
  love
• 42:16
  that.
• 42:16
  I
• 42:17
  can't
• 42:17
  imagine
• 42:17
  how
• 42:18
  much
• 42:18
  pain
• 42:19
  you
• 42:19
  must
• 42:19
  be
• 42:20
  feeling
• 42:21
  for
• 42:21
  this
• 42:21
  to
• 42:22
  be
• 42:22
  going
• 42:22
  on.
• 42:22
  I
• 42:23
  think
• 42:23
  that's
• 42:23
  a
• 42:24
  brilliant
• 42:24
  phrase
• 42:25
  to
• 42:25
  use.
• 42:26
  I'm
• 42:26
  just
• 42:26
  thinking
• 42:27
  of
• 42:27
  all
• 42:27
  the
• 42:27
  moments
• 42:28
  when
• 42:28
  I
• 42:28
  could
• 42:29
  use
• 42:29
  that
• 42:29
  where
• 42:30
  somebody
• 42:30
  says
• 42:30
  something,
• 42:31
  and
• 42:32
  rather
• 42:32
  than
• 42:32
  becoming
• 42:33
  defensive,
• 42:34
  I
• 42:34
  have
• 42:34
  a
• 42:34
  way
• 42:35
  to
• 42:36
  not
• 42:36
  just
• 42:37
  take
• 42:37
  it
• 42:38
  or
• 42:39
  become
• 42:39
  angry,
• 42:40
  but
• 42:40
  to
• 42:41
  actually
• 42:41
  be
• 42:42
  able
• 42:42
  to
• 42:42
  hear
• 42:42
  and
• 42:42
  listen
• 42:43
  and
• 42:43
  also
• 42:43
  let
• 42:43
  them
• 42:44
  know
• 42:44
  that,
• 42:44
  like,
• 42:46
  wow,
• 42:46
  that
• 42:46
  was
• 42:46
  a
• 42:46
  lot
• 42:47
  to
• 42:47
  say.
• 42:47
  Tell
• 42:48
  me
• 42:48
  more.
• 42:48
  You've
• 42:49
  given
• 42:49
  us
• 42:49
  so
• 42:49
  much,
• 42:49
  Amy
• 42:50
  K.
• 42:50
  You've
• 42:50
  given
• 42:51
  us
• 42:51
  a
• 42:51
  whole
• 42:52
  tranche
• 42:52
  of
• 42:52
  wisdom,
• 42:53
  like
• 42:53
  a
• 42:53
  masterclass
• 42:54
  on
• 42:54
  communication.
• 42:55
  And
• 42:55
  I
• 42:56
  cannot
• 42:56
  explain
• 42:57
  how
• 42:57
  much
• 42:57
  I
• 42:57
  appreciate
• 42:58
  your
• 42:58
  wisdom.
• 42:58
  For
• 42:58
  everybody
• 42:59
  listening,
• 42:59
  it's
• 43:00
  this
• 43:00
  great
• 43:00
  book.
• 43:01
  Get
• 43:01
  it?
• 43:01
  Five
• 43:02
  Steps
• 43:02
  to
• 43:03
  the
• 43:03
  Sex
• 43:04
  salary
• 43:05
  success
• 43:05
  you
• 43:05
  want?
• 43:06
  I
• 43:07
  always
• 43:07
  like
• 43:07
  to
• 43:07
  do
• 43:07
  a
• 43:08
  fast
• 43:08
  fire
• 43:09
  round
• 43:09
  of
• 43:10
  five
• 43:10
  questions
• 43:11
  to
• 43:11
  answer
• 43:11
  in
• 43:11
  less
• 43:12
  than
• 43:12
  five
• 43:12
  words.
• 43:13
  Are
• 43:13
  you
• 43:13
  ready?
• 43:14
  I
• 43:14
  guess
• 43:14
  so.
• 43:15
  Here
• 43:16
  we
• 43:16
  go.
• 43:16
  First
• 43:17
  word
• 43:18
  that
• 43:19
  comes
• 43:19
  to
• 43:19
  mind
• 43:20
  when
• 43:20
  you
• 43:21
  hear
• 43:22
  power?
• 43:24
  Authenticity.
• 43:27
  What's
• 43:27
  your
• 43:28
  sassiest
• 43:29
  guilty
• 43:30
  pleasure?
• 43:33
  Oracle
• 43:34
  Cards.
• 43:35
  Favorite
• 43:35
  phrase
• 43:36
  you
• 43:37
  actually
• 43:38
  use
• 43:38
  in
• 43:39
  tough
• 43:39
  conversations?
• 43:42
  My
• 43:42
  state
• 43:42
  of
• 43:43
  being
• 43:43
  is
• 43:44
  my
• 43:44
  number
• 43:44
  one
• 43:44
  doing.
• 43:46
  My
• 43:46
  state
• 43:46
  of
• 43:47
  being
• 43:47
  is
• 43:47
  my
• 43:47
  number
• 43:48
  one
• 43:48
  doing
• 43:48
  Beautiful.
• 43:50
  Go
• 43:50
  to
• 43:51
  fix
• 43:51
  for
• 43:52
  a
• 43:52
  shit
• 43:52
  day.
• 43:56
  Walk
• 43:57
  or
• 43:57
  gin
• 43:58
  and
• 43:58
  tonic.
• 44:01
  Yes.
• 44:03
  And
• 44:04
  what
• 44:04
  instantly
• 44:05
  makes
• 44:06
  you
• 44:06
  feel
• 44:07
  like
• 44:07
  you
• 44:08
  again?
• 44:09
  My
• 44:09
  morning
• 44:10
  practice
• 44:11
  Beautiful
• 44:12
  how
• 44:13
  can
• 44:13
  listeners
• 44:14
  learn
• 44:15
  more
• 44:15
  about
• 44:16
  you
• 44:16
  and
• 44:16
  your
• 44:17
  services?
• 44:18
  Amyk.com,
• 44:19
  am
• 44:19
  yk.com
• 44:20
  it
• 44:21
  will
• 44:21
  take
• 44:21
  you
• 44:21
  to
• 44:21
  ignite
• 44:22
  brilliance.
• 44:22
  And.
• 44:25
  I'll
• 44:25
  say
• 44:25
  this,
• 44:27
  it's
• 44:28
  a
• 44:28
  journey.
• 44:29
  And
• 44:29
  so
• 44:29
  even
• 44:30
  if
• 44:30
  you're
• 44:30
  starting
• 44:30
  to
• 44:31
  practice
• 44:31
  all
• 44:31
  of
• 44:32
  these
• 44:32
  things,
• 44:33
  just
• 44:33
  remember
• 44:34
  it's
• 44:34
  a
• 44:35
  practice.
• 44:36
  I'm
• 44:36
  53
• 44:37
  years
• 44:37
  old
• 44:38
  and
• 44:38
  I'm
• 44:39
  still
• 44:39
  coming
• 44:39
  up
• 44:39
  with
• 44:39
  magical
• 44:40
  phrases
• 44:40
  of
• 44:40
  something
• 44:41
  that
• 44:41
  I
• 44:41
  wish
• 44:41
  I'd
• 44:42
  said
• 44:42
  yesterday.
• 44:42
  So
• 44:43
  it's
• 44:43
  just
• 44:43
  a
• 44:43
  journey.
• 44:45
  Love
• 44:45
  that.
• 44:46
  Thank
• 44:46
  you.
• 44:47
  Amy
• 44:47
  K.
• 44:47
  Thank
• 44:48
  you
• 44:48
  for
• 44:48
  joining
• 44:49
  us
• 44:49
  today
• 44:49
  on
• 44:50
  the
• 44:50
  Wisdom
• 44:50
  of
• 44:50
  Women
• 44:50
  Show.
• 44:51
  Thank
• 44:51
  you
• 44:51
  for
• 44:51
  illuminating
• 44:52
  the
• 44:52
  path
• 44:52
  to
• 44:52
  unlocking
• 44:54
  opportunities
• 44:54
  for
• 44:55
  growth
• 44:55
  and
• 44:55
  prosperity
• 44:56
  for
• 44:56
  women
• 44:56
  led
• 44:57
  enterprises.
• 44:58
  We
• 44:58
  value
• 44:59
  your
• 44:59
  wisdom
• 45:00
  and
• 45:01
  to
• 45:01
  all
• 45:02
  of
• 45:02
  our
• 45:02
  world
• 45:02
  changing
• 45:03
  listeners,
• 45:03
  be
• 45:03
  sure
• 45:04
  to
• 45:04
  follow
• 45:04
  like
• 45:04
  and
• 45:05
  share
• 45:05
  the
• 45:05
  Wisdom
• 45:05
  of
• 45:06
  Women
• 45:06
  show
• 45:06
  on
• 45:06
  whatever
• 45:07
  your
• 45:07
  favorite
• 45:07
  listening
• 45:08
  reviewing
• 45:08
  platform
• 45:09
  is
• 45:10
  and
• 45:10
  to
• 45:10
  infuse
• 45:11
  more
• 45:11
  of
• 45:11
  your
• 45:11
  wisdom
• 45:12
  into
• 45:12
  your
• 45:13
  business,
• 45:14
  take
• 45:14
  the
• 45:15
  Growth
• 45:15
  readiness
• 45:16
  quiz
• 45:16
  at
• 45:17
  TheForceForGood
• 45:18
  Bits
• 45:19
  Quiz
• 45:19
  Quest
• 45:19
  and
• 45:20
  uncover
• 45:21
  where
• 45:21
  your
• 45:21
  insight
• 45:22
  is
• 45:22
  needed
• 45:23
  most.
• 45:24
  The
• 45:24
  world
• 45:25
  is
• 45:25
  made
• 45:25
  better
• 45:26
  by
• 45:26
  women
• 45:27
  led
• 45:27
  business.
• 45:28
  Let's
• 45:28
  all
• 45:29
  go
• 45:29
  make
• 45:29
  the
• 45:29
  world
• 45:30
  a
• 45:30
  better
• 45:30
  place.
• 45:32
  Thank
• 45:32
  you.