Latest / Crafted Connections / EP 73: SOLO - 4 Things Closing my Former Business Gave Me

Transcript

EP 73: SOLO - 4 Things Closing my Former Business Gave Me · Crafted Connections

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Crafted Connections or welcome to Crafted Connections.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's your first time hitting the button or you've been with me every dang week that I've published an episode.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I am Kaitlin Calhoun, and on this pod we have conversations about creativity, business, and the humanness of building a life around the work you love.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new here, welcome.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're in a series on burnout and recovery.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I closed a business that I had spent eight years building, and since my identity was so tied up in that business, my life fell apart a little bit.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been climbing back out for the past few years.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to hear about the whole arc, I would start at episode 68.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Last week I mentioned that this series is the last stretch of the show.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll explain more at the end because it fits right into where I'm focusing my creative efforts next.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: For a long time I talked about burnout as something I was recovering from.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say talked about, I mean to my close friends, but honestly to myself.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I kept being like, I'm recovering, I'm recovering, I'm recovering.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And recently the question that I was asking myself started to change.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I used to say, How do I get over this?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: How do I get past this?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And now I'm starting to look at what amazingness has come from this experience.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, where am I now that I would not have been if it weren't for that experience?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a very different question.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: One that feels much better to live in and changes the game.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's also one that finally got me moving forward.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And the other day I made a list of answers to that question.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: When I looked at it, it sorted itself into four things.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, the role friendship plays in my life.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: So my old approach to friendship was not necessarily prioritizing it.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think of myself as someone who is a bad friend.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is like weird to say, but it felt like I didn't like have a craving for or need deep friendships, which also, oh my gosh, we're gonna get all confusing about this, but also maybe that was a lie, right?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think I felt as though, yeah, I've got friendships and they're good, but it's okay that I just like prioritize work as number one and and my creative endeavors and the business I'm building, and that's like top, top dog, and and the friendships are there, and I love the people and this, that, and the other.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: But it was never a focus or something that I would go out of my way to really invest time in.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that definitely changed as a part of this because we got to a point, and I shared this in an earlier episode as a part of the climb out of the burnout.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: In fall of 2024, we found ourselves not going on the loop.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: We had spent all summer hoping that we would be ready financially, skill-wise, this, that, and the other, to leave to do America's Great Loop.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And when it came down to it, we looked at, we looked at the writing on the wall and we were not ready.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so we found ourselves scrambling for a place to live.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And like the universe interfered, and I found myself, like November 1st, 2024, in my high school friend's backyard.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, backyard is a stretch, right?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: They they have a house, there's a backyard, there was a duplex that they owned behind their home.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was one of my best winters I've had as an adult because this is what dreams are made of, right?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: We see the memes, we see the Pinterest pins, we see the Instagram posts about living next door to your friend.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I just genuinely don't think you can plan something like this, where you get to like live next door to your friend, take daily walks with them, you know, be like the best auntie to their kids that you ever get to be.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And just the joy that that infused in my life.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And we were in a situation like financially, emotionally, where like I didn't have anything in me but to be a friend.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: All I could do in that situation is show up and be myself.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And my value was not about how good I was at my work or you know, what I could offer as a potential like person who's hiring you as a vendor.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: It just it completely eliminated all the stuff that work had created in my mind, which was this very like transactional um way of thinking.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: I was down to like my bare self in a way that I just had to be like, who am I as a person and a friend?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: And like, what is my you know, personality?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And how do we like have conversations and just be with each other and enjoy, you know, this friendship?
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it completely reset like the way that I approach my relationships.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Before that, I was so good at networking.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I started this podcast with the you know, the premise of like I built my business on coffee meetings, which I did, and I love that.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not like I like don't have a personality, uh, but I found towards the end, after eight years of working for myself, I was at this point where it's like coffee meetings had become very transactional.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't making the connections anymore.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so this friendship reset the way that I approach relationships and especially reset how I value my friendships and prioritize my friendships and open the door to creating deeper, stronger friendships with new people, with friends that I've had for a long time.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, it was just so beautiful and still continues to be beautiful.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just so grateful for that.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just couldn't have planned that.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I I don't think the Katelyn who had to close her business understands how important that was and is.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, number two, the second thing that was such a gift from having to close my business.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, this is a toughie, and I'm not I'm not even fully there, but I think you listening out there will understand this one.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Letting go of control.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: What's that ladder for those in the back?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Letting go of control.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Not easy.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I I wish I wish I was even better at this because I'm not.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so not.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my girl Patty is editing this right now, and she knows that I am not good at letting go of control, but I'm getting better.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And when you air quotes lose everything, because I don't think it's fair to say I lost everything, but I was when it came to my to my work experience, which is something I highly, you know, integrated with my identity and my value.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: When it came to that, when you find yourself down to your you know metaphorical skivvies, it's you when you have no control, you have to learn to let go of control.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and running a business.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And and honestly, even my choice to be an editor in the video production space, because the editor, like a director can tell you whatever they want to tell you, right?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: But when it comes down to it, the editor is the one who like does that final export.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: They are the ones who decide the exact last frame, right?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: And whether it's an illusion or it is actual control, it feels like control.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, it's one of the best things that's ever happened to me.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's learning to let go of control.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to like to go back to the idea of relationships.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's been beautiful from my relationship with Phil.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Whew.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't, I just didn't know how much I needed things to be a certain way.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to give this particular example.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: The boat.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: The boat, the boat, the boat, y'all.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: I am not, I don't even know how to drive stick.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: I am not a mechanical operating person.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: I am learning things on the boat so that if for some reason while we're out on the boat and Phil becomes unconscious, I can ideally get us safely back into the channel.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: So that's in process.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: But when it comes down to it, moving onto the boat, opting into this life, there is one particular time in our early days of boating pre-us having lessons where I genuinely had to like hide around the corner while Phil was operating it.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because at the time, and I would argue still to this day, I don't fully understand how the damn thing works.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you are on a large boat, I mean our boat is a 36-footer.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: We live on it, it's our home, it's not a little guy.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: When you are on that massive of a piece of metal floating in water, which has its own, its own way of being out of control, when all that's going down and you don't actually understand how it works, and the wind's also playing a game, and the person who actually does know how to operate the boat is someone that you've been like maybe not micromanaging, but giving a lot of feedback to for the last eight years of your life.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: But like the feedback wasn't going to help anything.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: He knows what he's doing.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: I just have this very visceral, clear memory of me hiding around the corner, um, and frankly praying because it's just something I can't handle.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: But that experience, that experience, the experience of like being stripped down and not having much to work with, and just being like, well, and this is something I just need to let go of.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Those experiences of letting go have made me a more peaceful person.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: I now like when we go out on the boat, I'm confident in his skills.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm confident in what's that things are gonna work out.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm confident when I work with vendors or collaborators.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yes, I have room to grow.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hells yes, I have room to grow.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: But damn, it's gotten a lot better.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's better in a way where, like, because I didn't know it was that big of an issue before, but life has a way of teaching you the lessons you need to learn.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: And while I'm still working on this particular lesson, um yeah, yeah, uh, letting go of control has been so healthy for me, and I'm super grateful.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Here's to more.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Here's to more learning how to let go of control.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, quick pause in today's episode because I want to tell you about something I've been building, I've been working on that I've been curating for y'all.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's called Calhoun Edits.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the thing: we all know we should be doing video.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Solopreneurs, marketers, business owners, you know the benefits, but the part that we all dread is the editing.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: You film something, it's super fantastic, but getting over that hurdle past the edit halts the entire project.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then you've spent all this time creating something, you don't finish that last little bit, right?
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've been editing video for over 10 years, and I'm here to make it super, super, super dang simple.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to succeed.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to utilize the power of editing and the magic that can come from putting things together, having that rhythm.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: And over on Instagram at Calhoun Edits, I break down short, practical tutorials, mostly in the edits app, because it's free as can be, on stuff that you probably don't know about.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Keyframes, captions, sound effects, all sorts of little things that make your videos feel polished without taking your whole afternoon, your whole day, your whole life, right?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: And if you'd rather hand it off or want some one-on-one help, you can book a free 30-minute consultation right in my bio.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: So go follow Calhoun Edits and let's get your videos out of your camera roll and into the world.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: We deserve it.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: All right, back to the episode.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: All right, the third thing that I have really been gifted from from this experience of of being stripped down, of things falling apart, so I kind of got to rebuild them was making things out loud.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: So my like former approach to this was one very informed by fear.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was so terrified to hit publish.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: To go back to, you know, the the letting go of control, a lot of these things I wasn't aware of how afraid I was to hit publish.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: And this might even sound like a surprise to those who knew me pre-closing of a business because I did put myself out there pretty often.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: But there was a deep perfectionism in what I would publish and share.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um and that is much less so now.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Much, much, much less so.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've become so much more outwardly creative and a shit ton less afraid of what people think.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: And what really got me there was our boat YouTube, and then this podcast, and then doing a posting of a daily a video daily on Instagram for an entire year.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: I just wrapped that up at the end of October, which is really, really fun to say because on the day of recording this, I've got a few more days, but this will be published in November, and it's really, really cool to think that I'm done, that I'm done with that, and I did a whole freaking year.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but you can't do something on a daily basis and nippy perfect every day because the goal is shipping, you know.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: But to go back to the example of YouTube shaking that out of me, YouTube really is what got that first muscle of it doesn't have to be perfect, you just need to hit publish.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Coming from a commercial video background, the expectation is premium work, right?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Not a hair out of place kind of energy.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And YouTube is not that world.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: YouTube is not commercial filmmaking, YouTube is not commercial video, um, YouTube is authenticity.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: YouTube is hit, publish, share, tell your story.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's a it's a lot of other things, but the the corner of the YouTube that I'm focused on is being real about the situation.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not necessarily about high production quality, which is hard to shake when you've been doing it for like, you know, six to eight years or or you were trained in it.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um but posting our YouTube and enjoying that process and being creative and knowing that like it didn't have to be perfect and people were still enjoying it, and also recognizing how good I am at story and the like the tech side doesn't need to be like all cylinders firing in order for like the content to be great.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: That was amazing, and for years everything I you know made was so client needed to be approve it, polished to death.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was a like there was a lot of like outward validation and approval that needed to happen for a piece to go out, and now I get to just make things because I want to, and it's a freedom I did not have before, and it's a freedom I'm so freaking grateful for.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: I also love that I can still do that highly polished stuff, it's just really fun to like have that spread now, but honestly, I'm enjoying this like self-creation stuff so much more, and it's freaking fantastic.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so the final thing that I really am so grateful for happening as a result of having to let go of my former life is room to move.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: There is so much, there is so much flexibility and room in my life for mobility and opportunity that I did not have, that I kind of built myself out of accidentally.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: So my old approach was I won't even say my old approach, but I had built my business to kind of be indie-based, not just kind of, it became an Indianapolis-based company, but that isn't what I started a business for.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: I started so that I could be on the move, so I could tell stories all over the place.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I never originally I never expected to stay there forever, and then I accidentally built something that was based there, and then we got to leave, and I tried to keep the business, but I realized it was very location-based.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I needed something, I needed an opportunity to build something and have a larger horizon and to be able to be mobile and be remote and go where we want to go, and like, you know, still take client meetings or like work on client projects while I was, you know, somewhere overseas or like somewhere in the middle of the Mississippi River.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I want.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: And the business having to close, things failing, created room for me to do that.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I got to rebuild my work to go wherever I want to go.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Calhoun Creative and Calhoun Edits are both giving me that ability to move and build.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just so funny that when I first started my former company, it was supposed to be a business on a move, on the move.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll I'll dig into that even further on the final episode, but it just didn't turn out that way because I was taking a lot of input from others and and building something I thought I had to build and not necessarily following what my desire was around it.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just really cool that that shed away in a way that I get to now operate how I always wanted to operate.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Which brings me to what the heck is next?
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: This show started as a way to get my creativity back.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: I actually started it in that friend's backyard.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I say that in the visual cracks me up because imagine me like with the podcast equipment in like my friend's backyard while her kids are running around.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: But really, it was, you know, obviously in the duplex.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the energy of like that bubble of like that corner of the world where I got to like be so cozy and I felt safe to create in this way.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: And the series was a was a place to connect with all the people that supported me and also a place to process everything out loud, and hot damn, it did its job.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: I feel so relieved and so grateful for being able to get on the mic to share and create and publish and be present in the world and have thoughts and share them.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: But it's time for Crafted Connections to wrap up.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: When I relaunched it earlier this fall, October 1st, it's so interesting.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: My my anxiety spiked October 1st when I republished.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: I took the summer off and I republished and started, you know, sharing again October 1st of this year, and most of the month of October, my anxiety was just like off the charts in a way that like I hadn't experienced for a while and didn't make any sense.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, some of that was because I've been sharing some like raw things about my experience of closing my business and moving forward, and I was scared to do all of that.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: But when I decided it was time to wrap the burnout series and and ultimately the series and podcast as a whole, that exact day that I was like, cool, we're gonna do this.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I I you know I mapped out the last four episodes, the relief y'all that I felt and the excitement about what's coming next, where I get to put my energy, just was palpable.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm putting my energy where my life is headed.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that's Kate and Hilly on a boat, our YouTube channel where Phil and I are documenting our travels, starting fingers crossed, y'all send good vibes because heartbreak is real, and when we had to decide not to go in 2024, it sucked.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: But crossing our fingers, we're taking off for America's Great Loop, summer of 2027.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: And also, it's Calhoun Edits, where I help people tell their own stories.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: It has been magical to allow myself to follow every frickin creative urge over the past two or three years.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Having the space to throw things at the wall, try things, create things has just been so freaking healing.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm also ready to not have 700 ideas and 700 platforms.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: And like even my sister and I were like laughing the other day because I pull up my Instagram, like all the different Instagram accounts I have, and I've got like eight Instagram accounts, y'all.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like one for like a coffee shop trailer that my sister and I were brain brainstorming.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, Calhoun edits, the this podcast, another podcast I started like in you know, January of 2024.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's like so many different random tabs open in projects, and it's time to like to bring it centered, and it's time to to go in on building the life I always wanted in the first place.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: So we have two episodes left.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Next week is my conversation with Leslie Bailey.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: She's a connection, a wonderful inspirational connection of mine from Indianapolis, and also recently closed a business and moved into a new slash old location in her life.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then we'll have the series finale, and that'll that'll be it, y'all.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really excited and I'm really proud of myself because it's gonna be ultimately 75 freaking episodes, which is unheard of for a podcast.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and unheard of is a strong word, but like not a lot of people get to 75.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm proud of that, but I'm also proud of the heart and what I've put into it.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: So here's my question for you this week: what's on your list?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: What would have not happened for you if a hard thing in your life hadn't happened?
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: What good things have come from what you've like labeled as a failure?
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: And when are you gonna start letting yourself step into the version of your life you always wanted?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being a listener of Crafted Connections and a friend.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: I I cannot express my gratitude.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've I've had thousands of downloads for the pod, and I mean the fact that people like choose to spend their time on that, like your brain is valuable, your ears are valuable, and and you've chosen to hit play, it just it really does mean everything.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: So all right, y'all.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Two more episodes.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: See you next week.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: Crafted Connections is lovingly produced by Calhoun Creative Consulting, a strategic storytelling firm dedicated to helping people and brands tell their stories in a way that resonates.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and connect with us on Instagram at Crafted Connections Pod.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Keep creating, keep connecting, until we meet again.