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THE SHELL COLLECTOR: FINDING LOVE AFTER LOSS · Crime Stories with Nancy Grace

0:05
Speaker 1: Crime stories with Nancy Greece. Can you imagine building your
0:16
Speaker 1: life with your husband, having children, sometimes three, four or
0:21
Speaker 1: five children, sending your husband off to fight for our country,
0:29
Speaker 1: and that moment when you learn he will never come home.
0:35
Speaker 1: With me today, two military widows, one of them the
0:43
Speaker 1: wife of Chris Kyle, the American sniper. The other the
0:50
Speaker 1: wife of Lieutenant Lewis Allen killed in Iraq, leaving behind
0:57
Speaker 1: not only his beautiful wife Barbe, but four boys. She
1:04
Speaker 1: is a podcaster and an author. Also with me today,
1:10
Speaker 1: an incredible author. I know you're gonna love her as
1:15
Speaker 1: much as I do. Her name is Nancy Nagel. She
1:19
Speaker 1: is a best selling author and she has written a
1:23
Speaker 1: book that you're gonna love, The Shell Collector. It is
1:28
Speaker 1: a story about a military widow starting life all over again.
1:36
Speaker 1: Also with me, an incredible actress. Name you may have
1:39
Speaker 1: seen her before, because I have, Caitlin Clark. She is
1:45
Speaker 1: the star of a brand new movie which will drop
1:49
Speaker 1: on Fox Nation September one, The Shell Collector, and she
1:56
Speaker 1: has taken on the burden and the response ability I'll
2:01
Speaker 1: portraying a military widow. Also with me, longtime friend and
2:08
Speaker 1: colleague Karen Stark as Karen with A see New York
2:11
Speaker 1: psychologist at Karen Stark dot com to help us figure
2:16
Speaker 1: out what we do after such an incredible loss. First,
2:24
Speaker 1: I want to go to Tea Kyle, the wife of
2:28
Speaker 1: Navy Seal Chris Kyle, the American Sniper. She is the
2:34
Speaker 1: director of the Tea and Chris Kyle Foundation, author of
2:37
Speaker 1: American Wife and American Spirit. You can find her on
2:41
Speaker 1: Twitter and Instagram at Tea Kyle. Everyone, Imancy Grace, this
2:47
Speaker 1: is Crime Stories. Thank you for being with us here
2:50
Speaker 1: at Fox Nation and Series one eleven. First of all, Tella,
2:55
Speaker 1: I don't know how you and Barbe put one foot
3:00
Speaker 1: in front of the other after suffering the blow that
3:05
Speaker 1: you did. Do you remember when Chris left? I do,
3:12
Speaker 1: And you know each time he left was was different.
3:15
Speaker 1: And I think that's part of what we have to
3:18
Speaker 1: acknowledge as military spouses, is that no time of a
3:22
Speaker 1: deployment is the same when they leave or when they
3:24
Speaker 1: come back. And the day that Chris and his friend
3:28
Speaker 1: Chad were killed was a Saturday morning and we had
3:33
Speaker 1: just taken the kids to basketball games. Everything was great.
3:36
Speaker 1: They were just going to go help somebody who claimed
3:41
Speaker 1: to have had PTS Chris had a lot of success
3:44
Speaker 1: taking guys out in nature and talking to them and
3:47
Speaker 1: doing something they had in common as a way to
3:50
Speaker 1: just open the conversation. And so because the only information
3:55
Speaker 1: that Chris had was this was a person with PTS,
3:57
Speaker 1: he thought, you know, of course I'm going to show
3:59
Speaker 1: up for this guy and we'll take him somewhere really
4:01
Speaker 1: beautiful and it's a nice drive, and I'll get my
4:05
Speaker 1: my best friend Chad to go out there with me.
4:07
Speaker 1: And then the guy turned on them. Of course, I
4:10
Speaker 1: think that in that we're very blessed to have had
4:14
Speaker 1: such a great morning and such a great period of
4:17
Speaker 1: our life to end on a high note. And it's
4:19
Speaker 1: also I think adds to the tragedy in the shock
4:22
Speaker 1: that it takes a long time to really process that.
4:25
Speaker 1: You know, I had that that thoughts from my mind
4:27
Speaker 1: over and over and over in the months to come,
4:29
Speaker 1: like you know, just I don't understand would come through
4:33
Speaker 1: my mind anytime i'd stop. It would be like the
4:34
Speaker 1: back of my mind be like I don't understand, I
4:36
Speaker 1: don't understand. So yeah, I do remember obviously very much,
4:40
Speaker 1: so them that morning that you left, and you know,
4:46
Speaker 1: I'm just like I said, I'm glad we were in
4:47
Speaker 1: a really good place and had made it. Bob Allen
4:53
Speaker 1: is also with us, wife of a Lieutenant Lewis Allen.
4:56
Speaker 1: He and his co Captain Philip Esposito killed any Rock.
5:01
Speaker 1: He left four boys behind, age six, five, three and
5:05
Speaker 1: one at the time. Bob, do you remember that moment
5:10
Speaker 1: when you sent him on his way, kissed him goodbye? Yeah?
5:15
Speaker 1: I mean that there are certain moments we all have
5:18
Speaker 1: that are branded into us forever, and that's absolutely one
5:22
Speaker 1: of them. You know, I was trying to be strong.
5:27
Speaker 1: First time he drove away from our home and I
5:29
Speaker 1: was holding our youngest child next to our tree, and
5:33
Speaker 1: we were both kind of crying and hugging our baby
5:36
Speaker 1: together while the other ones were inside. And he drove
5:39
Speaker 1: off to go, you know, to go and meet up
5:42
Speaker 1: with people you needed to meet up with. And a
5:44
Speaker 1: second later he came roaring back down the road and
5:48
Speaker 1: jumped out of the car, and he left the door
5:50
Speaker 1: open and came running over to me, you know, gave
5:52
Speaker 1: me they hug. He's like, I don't know how many
5:55
Speaker 1: leave you got, you know, it was one of those
5:56
Speaker 1: moments that you just don't forget, and up to see
6:00
Speaker 1: him on Memorial Day weekend, he had a surprise opportunity
6:03
Speaker 1: from you see him one more time. So on Memorial
6:06
Speaker 1: Day weekend two thousand and five, I was able to
6:08
Speaker 1: go up to Fort Drum and spend one more night
6:10
Speaker 1: with him, just him and I and I will really
6:14
Speaker 1: never forget every single moment of that time. And you
6:18
Speaker 1: know I had to leave the next day and he
6:20
Speaker 1: deployed a Memorial Day two thousand and five, and ten
6:23
Speaker 1: days later he and his commanding officer were murdered by
6:26
Speaker 1: the staff sergeant of the unit. So you know, it's
6:31
Speaker 1: just ten days, was just a lifetime apart, barb How
6:37
Speaker 1: did you discover that he had been killed? I had
6:40
Speaker 1: been up all night waiting to hear back from him,
6:43
Speaker 1: and I was just sort of resting on our bed.
6:45
Speaker 1: It was six am. I had this terrible, terrible feeling
6:50
Speaker 1: something was wrong. I had had some moments the day
6:53
Speaker 1: before or I almost knew, like I just knew in
6:57
Speaker 1: some layer of my being that he had been killed. Barbara,
7:00
Speaker 1: you are giving me chills all over because Karen Stark
7:05
Speaker 1: and I've talked about it a lot before, but so
7:08
Speaker 1: often victims' families. I mean, I knew it happened to
7:12
Speaker 1: me when my fiancee was murdered. You know, before anybody
7:16
Speaker 1: tells you it's the strangest thing. And I swear, of course,
7:19
Speaker 1: I could never bring this in to a court of law.
7:22
Speaker 1: I would never bring it up to a jury even
7:24
Speaker 1: because they'd never believe me. But I've heard it over
7:28
Speaker 1: and over and over, Barb, tell me about that, those
7:31
Speaker 1: moments that you know, the day before I thought I
7:37
Speaker 1: saw him walking down the street as I was flying home,
7:39
Speaker 1: I had missus call, and he sat next to me
7:42
Speaker 1: in the car and he had the space and he see.
7:46
Speaker 1: I don't know if I could say this online, you
7:47
Speaker 1: let it down, but he looked at me, so, you know.
7:49
Speaker 1: And then later on in the evening, I was feeding
7:53
Speaker 1: my kids dinner and it was like something literally just
7:55
Speaker 1: it was literally like I was punched in my gut
7:57
Speaker 1: and I fell over on the table. It's just that nowhere,
8:00
Speaker 1: and I knew in that moment, I just knew without knowing,
8:05
Speaker 1: you know. And then you sit up all night telling
8:07
Speaker 1: yourself that you're crazy. But then your doorbell rings at
8:10
Speaker 1: six o'clock in the morning and the military detail is
8:14
Speaker 1: at your door, and your world comes to an end.
8:16
Speaker 1: Oh my stars, I'm just trying to imagine you, Barb
8:21
Speaker 1: and Taia dealing with the loss of the love of
8:25
Speaker 1: your life and you're spiraling. I mean, Teia, how did
8:30
Speaker 1: you do? What? How did you come out of that?
8:33
Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting. It's been a really long process
8:36
Speaker 1: of learning about grace for myself and from my kids,
8:41
Speaker 1: and my faith in God has increased so much. I've
8:44
Speaker 1: I've experienced God in so many different ways in that
8:49
Speaker 1: I would have never imagined in the first place that
8:52
Speaker 1: have carried me. And I remember there was this moment
8:56
Speaker 1: where I have many moments, right, and I've gone back
8:59
Speaker 1: and I've asked my daughter or I've learned so okay,
9:02
Speaker 1: I'm a fragmented because there are so many moments, but
9:04
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pick two. One of them was when I
9:08
Speaker 1: realized that I was everything. That I had lawsuits, Chris's
9:12
Speaker 1: business partners, somebody else, we had attacks from the family, rumors,
9:16
Speaker 1: you know, it seems to always compound. And it was
9:20
Speaker 1: sort of a five hundred and eighty degree battlefield at
9:22
Speaker 1: the time, and my temper was short, and I was
9:25
Speaker 1: up late, you know, all of those things. And so
9:27
Speaker 1: years later I said to my daughter I was not
9:29
Speaker 1: the mom I wanted to be, and I'm so sorry
9:32
Speaker 1: and I need to ask your forgiveness. And she said, Mama,
9:36
Speaker 1: what are you even? What are you talking about? Like,
9:38
Speaker 1: I don't remember those things. And I had prayed earlier
9:41
Speaker 1: that God would mend the places that I broke in them,
9:44
Speaker 1: and I had these really intense spiritual experiences where I
9:48
Speaker 1: felt like God was going to pick up where I
9:51
Speaker 1: had fallen short. And the other moment I want to
9:54
Speaker 1: share with you is this moment that I had with
9:55
Speaker 1: my son. I was driving to the house and I
9:58
Speaker 1: was crying so hard in either years after it happened, right,
10:00
Speaker 1: these are probably The conversation with my daughter was maybe
10:04
Speaker 1: seven years after Chris was killed, and we had many
10:06
Speaker 1: conversations before, but the beauty of that one was that
10:09
Speaker 1: she didn't remember all of the things that I did.
10:11
Speaker 1: The one with my son was probably three or four
10:13
Speaker 1: years after Chris was killed, and we're pulling into our
10:16
Speaker 1: house and I said, I had this idea when you
10:18
Speaker 1: were first born and things were so good that I
10:21
Speaker 1: knew I couldn't be a perfect mom, but I thought
10:23
Speaker 1: I was going to be really close, Like it just
10:26
Speaker 1: came naturally to me and I had all this love
10:28
Speaker 1: and I just felt so happy about it, and it
10:32
Speaker 1: hurts me and I have to let go of this
10:34
Speaker 1: that I can't even come close to what I think
10:37
Speaker 1: I might have been able to have been without trauma,
10:41
Speaker 1: and it breaks my heart. But it's time for me
10:43
Speaker 1: to let go because I've held on to it and
10:45
Speaker 1: it's hurting us more than it's helping us. And you know,
10:48
Speaker 1: it was this powerful moment with him where he understood.
10:52
Speaker 1: And my kids are so deep and so faithful and
10:56
Speaker 1: so mature, and they get so much of life that
10:59
Speaker 1: other people their age and get. And I think you
11:01
Speaker 1: realized that it was. It was a powerful thing that
11:05
Speaker 1: I wanted that I had to let go of. And
11:06
Speaker 1: then we all have to give ourselves grace for the
11:10
Speaker 1: things that we can't do in life's attacks. Does that
11:12
Speaker 1: make sense. I'm just listening and hearing how your lives
11:17
Speaker 1: have spun out after losing your husband. Guys with me,
11:23
Speaker 1: two incredible military widows. Barbe allan wife of Lieutenat Lewis Allen.
11:30
Speaker 1: He and his co Captain Philip Esposito killed in Iraq.
11:35
Speaker 1: He left behind four little boys to be raised by Mommy.
11:40
Speaker 1: Tell you Kyle, wife of Navy Sill Chris Kyle, the
11:45
Speaker 1: American Sniper. I'm sure we've all seen the movie American Sniper.
11:50
Speaker 1: I want to bring in our other incredible guests, but
11:54
Speaker 1: I just had to start with the real thing, our
11:59
Speaker 1: military widows who we owe so much. You know, when
12:05
Speaker 1: we look at all the military and we think, oh,
12:13
Speaker 1: what they're sacrificing they're going, never sees they're in training,
12:17
Speaker 1: they're risking their lives. So often we don't think about
12:23
Speaker 1: the military wives and husbands and children that are also
12:29
Speaker 1: risking their world when mom or Dad are deployed. Listen
12:36
Speaker 1: to the shell collector, what are you doing? I think
12:43
Speaker 1: I for ustened down the style read your brother. I
12:49
Speaker 1: don't know Jesse. Jesse, where are you? And over here?
13:05
Speaker 1: It's good you're ready to go to work. Hey, hey,
13:12
Speaker 1: I think I have something you're looking for. It seems
13:15
Speaker 1: like you do. Thank you, Jesse. We talked about this.
13:18
Speaker 1: It's not safe for you to wander off from Sorry, mom,
13:22
Speaker 1: Jesse tells me you're having some sink problems. Yeah, I
13:26
Speaker 1: was trying to fix our sink and let's just say
13:28
Speaker 1: the sink one. That's why I bought this for her.
13:32
Speaker 1: You're probably not gonna fix it with those. IM sure
13:36
Speaker 1: you don't need my help, but I am pretty handy
13:38
Speaker 1: with clumbing and the storefront back. I can help you
13:43
Speaker 1: find what you're looking for. Two tools you need a basin, ranch,
13:56
Speaker 1: Crescent Ranch time stories with Nancy Grace. I want to
14:16
Speaker 1: go now to Caitlin Clark. She is just stunning and
14:24
Speaker 1: let me just I'll go ahead and confesst Before we
14:27
Speaker 1: started talking on air today, I had to ask her,
14:30
Speaker 1: are you wearing blue contacts? And of course I was
14:33
Speaker 1: devastating when she said no. Her eyes. I mean, once
14:38
Speaker 1: you see them, you'll never forget them. She is an
14:41
Speaker 1: accomplished actress, so many credits to her name, and I
14:44
Speaker 1: was especially interested that she actually this beautiful woman starting
14:49
Speaker 1: horror Fleix, which if I was telling Jack, I would
14:51
Speaker 1: totally be in horror movies. If hor and actress, Caitlyn,
14:54
Speaker 1: you have a really wide range. But my question to you,
15:00
Speaker 1: my first question, hey everybody, is I like to say
15:03
Speaker 1: this is no high tea at windsor Castle or I
15:08
Speaker 1: jump in whenever you feel like at Caitlin, how did
15:12
Speaker 1: you deal with the responsibility of portraying someone like Barbed
15:20
Speaker 1: Allen or tay A, Chile, because I remember when I
15:23
Speaker 1: would go into trial and I would be all prepared,
15:26
Speaker 1: let's say, on a murder trial, and I would have
15:28
Speaker 1: met with the family of the victim, and I would
15:30
Speaker 1: have gone to the medical examina and the crime lab
15:33
Speaker 1: and the crime scene and taking photos and measurements and
15:35
Speaker 1: blah blah blah written opening statement and the closing say.
15:38
Speaker 1: When I would walk into court, I would know that
15:42
Speaker 1: I had to represent the state and everybody was counting
15:47
Speaker 1: on me to somehow pull it out. I mean, when
15:51
Speaker 1: you hear real life military widows, what was in your
15:57
Speaker 1: mind when you went to act one scene one? Well,
16:01
Speaker 1: thank you Nancy for having me on. But I do
16:05
Speaker 1: have to say, especially after listening just now it's barbintella.
16:09
Speaker 1: I remember when we filmed and this is actually the
16:12
Speaker 1: opening scene. And of course there's some scenes where you
16:17
Speaker 1: can't really relate to it, but you know how to prepare,
16:19
Speaker 1: and I might require listening to music, but I remember
16:22
Speaker 1: this one particular scene. The movie starts off, I'm saying
16:27
Speaker 1: goodbye to my husband without getting too much of the
16:30
Speaker 1: story away, and don't you dare give away the end.
16:36
Speaker 1: We're on location there before we shoot the scene, and
16:41
Speaker 1: I just remember thinking seeing the buses pull off the
16:47
Speaker 1: soldiers in their uniforms, the actors actually and I remember thinking,
16:52
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I can't imagine what military families and
16:57
Speaker 1: the soldiers must go through. Because immediately I felt like
17:00
Speaker 1: this anxiety and I felt sad already, without having to
17:06
Speaker 1: do much for prayering, I thought, I don't I'm not
17:09
Speaker 1: going to need to listen to music. I didn't even
17:11
Speaker 1: know the actor of that well, I only met him
17:13
Speaker 1: a couple of days before Patch May, and just standing
17:16
Speaker 1: there with my two children core actors and seeing the
17:22
Speaker 1: rest of the families surrounding us, I felt so sad.
17:25
Speaker 1: And it really didn't take much for me to say,
17:29
Speaker 1: of this scene, who is my brother, my husband, a boyfriend,
17:33
Speaker 1: I can't imagine what Barbin team must have gone through,
17:37
Speaker 1: and so many families and the soldiers, And right away
17:41
Speaker 1: that I was sad, it was easy for the tears
17:46
Speaker 1: to come out because it's just it's something that happens
17:51
Speaker 1: all the time, and it's happened to so many families.
17:53
Speaker 1: So for that that moment particularly, I didn't didn't really
17:57
Speaker 1: require much because you see and you think, oh my god,
18:01
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't believe this. You know how many
18:04
Speaker 1: people this has her, So that seemed for me it
18:08
Speaker 1: was definitely heartbreaking. You know, people often think that, you know,
18:13
Speaker 1: we see actresses and actors on the red carpet and
18:17
Speaker 1: they're all glamorous, or we see pictures in the tabloids
18:20
Speaker 1: of them going to dinner or some fun vacation somewhere.
18:24
Speaker 1: When I'm listening to you described that feeling before you
18:26
Speaker 1: started filming, Caitlin, you know, it can really it can
18:30
Speaker 1: take a toll when you take it to heart. And
18:34
Speaker 1: this is not much of a comparison, but I would
18:36
Speaker 1: take my cases to heart, and I felt like so
18:40
Speaker 1: many people were counting on me and relying on me,
18:44
Speaker 1: and I would imagine what it would feel like, you know,
18:47
Speaker 1: if I lost the case and I'd have to tell
18:50
Speaker 1: the victim's mom, you know, I'm sorry, and it just
18:54
Speaker 1: it's a it's a huge burden. Now we have one
18:58
Speaker 1: woman to think for this incredible story, the Shell Collector,
19:04
Speaker 1: which I am so proud is going to be at
19:09
Speaker 1: my home, Fox Nation. We have this woman to thank,
19:14
Speaker 1: Nancy Nagel. Can I tell you about her? She is
19:18
Speaker 1: the best selling author. She's written so many books, but
19:24
Speaker 1: this one. Oh. You can find her at Nancy Nagel
19:26
Speaker 1: dot com in AI g l E. She's on instant Twitter.
19:31
Speaker 1: Of course. The Shell Collector is incredible, Nancy, And I've
19:36
Speaker 1: just got to hear how you are inspired to write
19:39
Speaker 1: this And did you have any idea it was going
19:41
Speaker 1: to be this incredible movie with Caitlyn Clark's starring in it. Oh? Yeah,
19:50
Speaker 1: you know what, this this whole story has been truly
19:54
Speaker 1: a blessing. And Taya and Barb, I mean, I'm just
19:57
Speaker 1: sitting here in balling for you girls. I love y'all,
19:59
Speaker 1: and my voice is shaken. I'm so sorry. But you know,
20:03
Speaker 1: I was born and raised in Virginia Beach, so I
20:06
Speaker 1: don't have that military spouse background, but I have always
20:11
Speaker 1: had boodles of respect because you know, the military wives
20:16
Speaker 1: are just as much at the forefront of protecting us
20:19
Speaker 1: and taking care of us as our soldiers are. There's
20:22
Speaker 1: such a huge commitment and respect and a gift from
20:25
Speaker 1: not only those men and women that are serving, but
20:28
Speaker 1: their families, you know, and the children. And you know,
20:30
Speaker 1: I grew up with all those kids that you know,
20:32
Speaker 1: we're having to say goodbye to their daddies and stuff
20:35
Speaker 1: just for a few months and when tragedy turns. But
20:39
Speaker 1: this story came out of a different inspiration. I lost
20:42
Speaker 1: my husband to a short battle of cancer in twenty fourteen.
20:47
Speaker 1: He was diagnosed in October with stage world one cancer
20:49
Speaker 1: and at the end of January he was gone. And
20:51
Speaker 1: at that time I was a senior vice president with
20:54
Speaker 1: Saint America and the finance and technology industry, and you know,
21:01
Speaker 1: as so many people do, you know, I felt this
21:05
Speaker 1: profound need to pull myself up somehow through that grief,
21:11
Speaker 1: and I was really floundering. And five weeks later I
21:15
Speaker 1: lost my cousin and she had been battling cancer for years.
21:19
Speaker 1: And one of the stories he had told me was
21:21
Speaker 1: of a family friend who lived on the Outer Banks
21:23
Speaker 1: and Kittie Hawk. And as that woman walked the beach
21:26
Speaker 1: one morning with something really heavy on her heart, she
21:29
Speaker 1: kicked up a shell and when she picked it up,
21:31
Speaker 1: I had a scripture written in it, and it happened
21:33
Speaker 1: to be this beautiful scripture that uplifted her and helped
21:37
Speaker 1: her manage through. And over six years she found four
21:40
Speaker 1: shells like that, and nobody else she knew had found any,
21:43
Speaker 1: and she considered them her messages from the Angels Bide
21:46
Speaker 1: the Sea. And I remember, you know, losing Mike on
21:49
Speaker 1: January thirty eighth, and then five weeks later losing Diane,
21:53
Speaker 1: and I was still so crumpled, you know, from losing Mike.
21:56
Speaker 1: I didn't even go to her funeral. And I remember
21:59
Speaker 1: laying in my bed just solving for that loss and
22:01
Speaker 1: thinking I could use the bucket of those shells. And
22:04
Speaker 1: at that point that story really started building in my heart,
22:07
Speaker 1: and sony years to write it, you know, I lost
22:10
Speaker 1: him in twenty fourteen. This book didn't come out uti
22:12
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, but I felt such a need to
22:18
Speaker 1: make something good out of it. And I can tell
22:21
Speaker 1: you the Lord has brought so many widows into my
22:24
Speaker 1: path that it's almost a little frightening when I start
22:27
Speaker 1: telling stories, and there are so many, but we have
22:30
Speaker 1: found strength in each other and being able to share
22:33
Speaker 1: our stories and I uplift each other. And so my
22:36
Speaker 1: hopes for this book were that knowing that every single
22:41
Speaker 1: one of us is going to go through this loss someday,
22:43
Speaker 1: it's still we're never going to perfect it. And I
22:46
Speaker 1: thought if I could write a story that would somehow
22:50
Speaker 1: find a permanent place in ladies hearts that when they
22:54
Speaker 1: went to that loss, something would tickle a memory or
22:57
Speaker 1: give them just a little bit of hope to help
23:00
Speaker 1: them manage through it with grace. That would be the
23:03
Speaker 1: biggest gift at all. And when Fox Nation contacted me
23:07
Speaker 1: to optionists for a movie, I mean I couldn't have
23:11
Speaker 1: been happier. I'd had several movies on Hallmark. They were
23:14
Speaker 1: all very special, but just carries such a special message
23:18
Speaker 1: and meaning for me that touching this many people is
23:22
Speaker 1: it's just the biggest blessing of all. I'll tell you what, Nancy, Nagel,
23:26
Speaker 1: Barba Allen, and tell you Kyle, and you too, Caitlin.
23:32
Speaker 1: Now that I think about it, all four of you
23:35
Speaker 1: have just brought me to tears as I'm sitting here
23:39
Speaker 1: listening to what you had to overcome. And one thing
23:44
Speaker 1: I'm hearing from you is that the Lord gave you
23:49
Speaker 1: a strength that you didn't know you have. Nancy, if
23:55
Speaker 1: you would tell me that story one more time and
23:57
Speaker 1: let me sink in about when those shells were found, Yeah,
24:05
Speaker 1: I mean that story just touched me from the first
24:07
Speaker 1: moment I heard it. But you know, after I had
24:09
Speaker 1: that loss, it just meant so much more. But I could,
24:12
Speaker 1: you know, I could just picture you know, this friend
24:14
Speaker 1: of our family walking down that beach like she did
24:17
Speaker 1: every morning. And I grew up in Virginia Beach, so
24:19
Speaker 1: you know, we just do that. Doesn't matter what the
24:20
Speaker 1: weather is, you know, sunshine or rain or cold, we
24:24
Speaker 1: walk that beach and love it, you know. And she
24:26
Speaker 1: kicks that shell up and the surf fin sound picks
24:29
Speaker 1: it up, and then as she turns it over, she
24:33
Speaker 1: realized that something's written in it. And to read that
24:36
Speaker 1: scripture and suddenly feel that that lifting, you know, of
24:41
Speaker 1: that burden to make her be able to manage through
24:43
Speaker 1: the problem that she had at that time was just amazing.
24:47
Speaker 1: And that over a six period, six year period, she
24:50
Speaker 1: found four shells, not all of them were scriptures, but
24:52
Speaker 1: all of them were positive messages, and some of them
24:55
Speaker 1: not even on the beach, but out near our home.
24:57
Speaker 1: And so you're like, wow, how did that happen? And
25:00
Speaker 1: she said, you know, she asked people nobody else had
25:02
Speaker 1: had it happened toybody else and found a cell And
25:05
Speaker 1: so that's amazing. It was just an incredible story and
25:09
Speaker 1: and so neat and touching and so you know, as
25:12
Speaker 1: my the wheels in my own mind and heart were
25:15
Speaker 1: turning as I was trying to manage through grief, this
25:19
Speaker 1: story of this this older woman who was kind of
25:22
Speaker 1: the navigator of those shells, even though she didn't know
25:25
Speaker 1: where they were going to end up or whose hands,
25:27
Speaker 1: you know, but that they managed to be in the
25:29
Speaker 1: right people's hands at the right time. Just I mean,
25:32
Speaker 1: it became so real to me. That's an incredible inspiration.
25:37
Speaker 1: Barb Allen joining me, wife of Lieutenant Lewis Allen. He
25:41
Speaker 1: and his co Captain Philip Esposito were killed Iraq two
25:45
Speaker 1: thousand and four. He left four little boys as young
25:48
Speaker 1: as one year old behind to be raised by mommy. Barb,
25:53
Speaker 1: when did you feel that moment of strength, of inspiration
26:00
Speaker 1: when you could actually see the light at the end
26:03
Speaker 1: of the tunnel. I had a lot of those moments
26:07
Speaker 1: over the years, but the one that served to help
26:09
Speaker 1: me change the trajectory of my life and sort of
26:14
Speaker 1: pivot everything around and take my life back was it
26:18
Speaker 1: was actually on my forty second birthday when I got
26:22
Speaker 1: a call, a collect call, of course, from my ex fiance.
26:26
Speaker 1: I was broken, I was in bad health. That was
26:29
Speaker 1: everything I just felt like I failed my kids. I
26:31
Speaker 1: felt God, I failed my husband. I just, you know,
26:34
Speaker 1: a way below rock bottom. And that call it just
26:38
Speaker 1: ended badly, I mean, because how could that not end? Babby?
26:41
Speaker 1: And I fell to my knees, literally dropped to my
26:44
Speaker 1: knees and my driveway. I was sobbing and just broken.
26:48
Speaker 1: This was ten years after my husband had been killed.
26:51
Speaker 1: And I prayed and I just said, I really just
26:55
Speaker 1: prayed to God. I said, please help me figure this out.
26:59
Speaker 1: You know, how how do I have to I have
27:02
Speaker 1: to fix this. I have to change, I have to
27:04
Speaker 1: get myself together. I have to be strong and I
27:07
Speaker 1: don't know how well can you help me? And I
27:11
Speaker 1: felt an instant rush of warmth and beauty I can't
27:16
Speaker 1: describe it, and strength and and it just it was
27:21
Speaker 1: almost like I heard someone saying, finally, you know, I
27:25
Speaker 1: sort of had to humble myself, you know, and ask
27:27
Speaker 1: for the help and uh and I stood back up,
27:31
Speaker 1: and I just felt different. I had all the same problems,
27:35
Speaker 1: but now I had hope and I just felt differently
27:38
Speaker 1: and I felt like it would going to be okay
27:41
Speaker 1: because I had reached that awareness and I had received
27:45
Speaker 1: that grace from a place I don't know, you know,
27:48
Speaker 1: but so that was the moment that I began taking
27:51
Speaker 1: all of those steps that I needed to change everything
27:55
Speaker 1: about my life. And more amazing people came into my
27:58
Speaker 1: life from that moment, Ya being one of them. So
28:03
Speaker 1: you know that I'll never forget that woman either. Listen
28:07
Speaker 1: to the Shell Collector, I'm sorry I was so awful
28:10
Speaker 1: to you after Jack died. You were trying to be
28:13
Speaker 1: there for us, and I blamed you. I know it
28:19
Speaker 1: wasn't your fault, but it was. If I hadn't taken
28:25
Speaker 1: a different assignment, then I would have been there with him.
28:30
Speaker 1: That was the plan, That was the promise. Then I
28:35
Speaker 1: broke it. Well, if you had been there, you probably
28:38
Speaker 1: wouldn't have come on either. That'd be better than being
28:42
Speaker 1: here without him. Hid you, the kids so much to
28:48
Speaker 1: come home to. None of this is fair. Finally coming
28:54
Speaker 1: in terms of that, I have my bad d's overall,
29:01
Speaker 1: I'm okay. Caitlyn Clark joining me, just an incredible actress
29:06
Speaker 1: who is starring in what is an incredible movie, and
29:10
Speaker 1: I'm so proud to be able to talk to them today. Caitlin,
29:16
Speaker 1: what was it like telling this story? The Shell Collector um, well,
29:22
Speaker 1: I did feel, I guess a lot of pressure because
29:24
Speaker 1: I felt like, well, my husband was killed in the movie,
29:31
Speaker 1: and I didn't want it to make it seem like, Okay,
29:34
Speaker 1: we forget about him. But I also wanted to hopefully
29:38
Speaker 1: my portrayal of Amanda will inspire people to move to
29:42
Speaker 1: move on and reach out for help. But I also
29:45
Speaker 1: didn't want it to make it like, Okay, I'm move
29:49
Speaker 1: on with my life, but then we forget Jack, my husband.
29:53
Speaker 1: So that was the pressure of, you know, of thinking, Okay,
29:57
Speaker 1: does it make it seem like I moved on and I, um,
30:01
Speaker 1: he's out the window. But that was something I discussed
30:05
Speaker 1: with the acting teacher and he said, no, you know, um,
30:09
Speaker 1: they'll they'll. There's going to be a part in the
30:11
Speaker 1: script where you'll make it clear that just because you've
30:15
Speaker 1: found your new life with your family and you've moved
30:18
Speaker 1: to Newtown, you know he's always going to be there.
30:21
Speaker 1: And I'm sure many people who have lost loved ones
30:26
Speaker 1: that will be the case for them that they've moved on.
30:29
Speaker 1: Of course, their loved one will always be a huge
30:33
Speaker 1: part of their life and will always own a corner
30:37
Speaker 1: of their hearts. Yeah, that's so poignant the way you
30:42
Speaker 1: said that always own a corner of their hearts with me.
30:47
Speaker 1: In addition to Barbe Allen and Nancy Nagel, Karen Start,
30:52
Speaker 1: and Caitlin Clark is tell A Kyle wife Nabe Still
30:57
Speaker 1: Chris Kyle, who I've mentioned earlier is The American Sniper.
31:02
Speaker 1: I'm sure many of you have seen that awesome movie
31:05
Speaker 1: The American Sniper. Tell you when was the moment we
31:11
Speaker 1: hard Bob describing the moment she literally fell to her
31:15
Speaker 1: knees and just could not go forward. When was the
31:19
Speaker 1: moment that you saw a light at the end of
31:23
Speaker 1: the tunnel. No, it's interesting that you asked that question
31:26
Speaker 1: because I had these In hindsight, I look back and
31:31
Speaker 1: think what I felt like in losing Chris was an amputation.
31:36
Speaker 1: And as a parent, I think if my child was
31:39
Speaker 1: going to have an amputation, and I knew it was unavoidable,
31:42
Speaker 1: then I would do everything I could to prepare them
31:46
Speaker 1: ahead of time. But I wouldn't tell them everything. I
31:48
Speaker 1: wouldn't overwhelm them. I would try to just give them
31:50
Speaker 1: pieces of information and put them around people who had
31:54
Speaker 1: survived hard things, and then I'd be with them during
31:57
Speaker 1: the amputation and after would say, Okay, we're gonna heal,
32:01
Speaker 1: and we are going to get out there stronger than
32:03
Speaker 1: you were before, and we are going to show everyone
32:06
Speaker 1: and show yourself importantly that this doesn't take you out
32:09
Speaker 1: of game. I say that because I feel like, in hindsight,
32:13
Speaker 1: that's what God did with me, knowing that there's free
32:16
Speaker 1: will a man knowing that things hit us, but God
32:20
Speaker 1: knows those things are going to happen, and so he
32:23
Speaker 1: prepares us and my preparation. The way I see it
32:27
Speaker 1: is that I had friends who lost their husbands, and
32:30
Speaker 1: I watched these young widows go through it, and I
32:33
Speaker 1: knew that they survived, and I knew that. After I
32:36
Speaker 1: would leave the funeral, I would think, I can't believe
32:39
Speaker 1: I have to go to the grocery store for my kids.
32:41
Speaker 1: It feels like the world should be stopping for them,
32:44
Speaker 1: but it doesn't. Well, yeah, oh, my stars, tell us.
32:50
Speaker 1: I have used that exact phrase a million times after
32:56
Speaker 1: I can't believe you just said those exact words. You fell.
33:00
Speaker 1: The world should be stopping, I've said a hundred times.
33:03
Speaker 1: After my fiance case murder, it felt like I stepped
33:07
Speaker 1: off the world and looked back because my world had
33:10
Speaker 1: stopped and the world was still spinning, and I couldn't
33:14
Speaker 1: believe how everything didn't stop because this horrible thing had happened, right,
33:20
Speaker 1: And it's so hard to take in. So I'm just
33:26
Speaker 1: imagining you coming home from a funeral and thinking I
33:29
Speaker 1: got to go to the grocery store for the children.
33:32
Speaker 1: It's just so, when did you feel Did you even
33:37
Speaker 1: see a tiny light at the end of the tunnel? Well? Yeah,
33:40
Speaker 1: I think that was The interesting thing is I believe
33:43
Speaker 1: that God did not want those things, but he used
33:46
Speaker 1: those things so that when I had my moment and
33:49
Speaker 1: when people told me, you know, that Chris had been killed,
33:53
Speaker 1: I had this knowing. You know. I had one friend
33:57
Speaker 1: with me at the time, and she said, hey, I
34:00
Speaker 1: saw you and the tears were pouring down your face
34:02
Speaker 1: and you said, are you sure? Are you sure? Because
34:05
Speaker 1: I knew there were so many times that I had
34:07
Speaker 1: heard that maybe the guys had died or been injured.
34:10
Speaker 1: And so I told myself, until it's you, it's not you.
34:13
Speaker 1: Don't assume trouble until somebody looks you in the eye
34:15
Speaker 1: and tells you it's you. And so when they said that,
34:18
Speaker 1: and I asked them three times, are you sure, and
34:19
Speaker 1: they said yes. It was like my head fell back
34:22
Speaker 1: against the wall. The tears streamed down, and my friends said,
34:24
Speaker 1: it's like you went into business mode of Okay, then
34:27
Speaker 1: this is it because I knew somewhere inside me, I
34:30
Speaker 1: have watched these women do this and the world is
34:33
Speaker 1: not going to stop and this is going to be
34:35
Speaker 1: you know, hell on Earth for however long it's going
34:38
Speaker 1: to be. And it's almost like my number came up,
34:40
Speaker 1: you know, like f you know, I'm trying to swear
34:44
Speaker 1: on this on this show, but like, oh my god,
34:45
Speaker 1: it's you know, oh my god. And then you kind
34:48
Speaker 1: of go into shock. And there were some it's a
34:51
Speaker 1: long story, but there were some pastors that had gathered
34:53
Speaker 1: in my house that I think, you know, people knew,
34:55
Speaker 1: maybe before they confirmed it with me, and I remember
34:58
Speaker 1: grabbing their hands. I first of all, I said who
35:00
Speaker 1: are you because they weren't, you know, they were just
35:02
Speaker 1: in street clothes. And they said, oh, we're some local
35:04
Speaker 1: pastors and I said okay, and I grabbed their hands.
35:06
Speaker 1: I said, then I want you to pray for him.
35:08
Speaker 1: I know where he is, I know where he's going,
35:11
Speaker 1: I know that God is with him. I just want
35:13
Speaker 1: you to pray for that smooth transition, and they had
35:16
Speaker 1: some you know, platitudes and all that, and I just
35:18
Speaker 1: was I got angry and crying and I said, no, him,
35:22
Speaker 1: the person him, and I kind of, you know, went
35:25
Speaker 1: into my own version and words of the prayers, and
35:28
Speaker 1: I was like, now, you know, I don't want to
35:30
Speaker 1: be rude, but I need you to leave. You know.
35:31
Speaker 1: It was like one, two three, like this is happening,
35:35
Speaker 1: and I've seen it, so it's different. So I guess,
35:37
Speaker 1: I guess that's a very long winded way of saying.
35:40
Speaker 1: In some way, from the moment I heard, I knew
35:43
Speaker 1: you survived, and my faith was already strong, and I
35:47
Speaker 1: knew that I had nothing to do with God wanted
35:49
Speaker 1: to hurt any of us, and that was important. So
35:52
Speaker 1: I had something of a knowing or a hope that
35:55
Speaker 1: we would make it. And part of that too, Nancy
35:58
Speaker 1: was devastating to me. I remember when one of my
36:01
Speaker 1: friends with a widow said, he it will get better.
36:04
Speaker 1: She was years ahead of me, and she said, it
36:05
Speaker 1: will get better, and you won't. The missing of him
36:08
Speaker 1: won't be so bad. And I ugly cry sobbed because
36:12
Speaker 1: part of knowing that I wouldn't have that ache of
36:15
Speaker 1: him being so close to my heart destroyed me too.
36:19
Speaker 1: So the hope is good and bad at Waynes, at
36:21
Speaker 1: ebbs and flows. I think Barbe said it best. She said,
36:25
Speaker 1: you know they don't tell you about grief is that
36:27
Speaker 1: it repeats in different ways. It really really does. Karen
36:31
Speaker 1: Stark is with me, new York psychologist, joining us from
36:35
Speaker 1: Manhattan today. Karen, I've got to tell you. Karen and
36:40
Speaker 1: I are not just colleagues, but we've sat alone in
36:43
Speaker 1: the dark many hours together. Now, let me explain. When
36:49
Speaker 1: I first started as a fluke in TV with a
36:55
Speaker 1: program called Cochrane and Grace with Johnny Cochrane, I moved
36:58
Speaker 1: into trial coverage, live trials, and Karen would be on
37:02
Speaker 1: the set with me, and the whole set would be
37:05
Speaker 1: dark and would be watching a trial on the monitor,
37:09
Speaker 1: a live trial, and then we would analyze what we
37:12
Speaker 1: were seeing and when there would be a lull or
37:15
Speaker 1: a break. We became very dear friends and for years
37:22
Speaker 1: she told me I had to quote move on from
37:26
Speaker 1: Keith's murder, but I couldn't, and everything she said was right. Karen, start,
37:37
Speaker 1: how does anyone move on? And we're telling this with
37:41
Speaker 1: the backdrop of this incredible movie, The Shell Collector, based
37:46
Speaker 1: on Nancy Nagel's bestseller book available on Amazon, The Shell Collector.
37:54
Speaker 1: How in real life, not on the silver screen? How
38:00
Speaker 1: can you move forward? Because you know it took me
38:04
Speaker 1: over twenty years before I could consider remarrying, and I
38:11
Speaker 1: would not advise that to any crime victim. Well, but
38:15
Speaker 1: nance you couldn't help. But remember, you're traumatized. So I'm
38:21
Speaker 1: listening to these stories and so much is familiar. You're
38:25
Speaker 1: in shock when you first get that news, and yet
38:28
Speaker 1: a part of you is very aware of what's happening.
38:32
Speaker 1: And I think about that chilling description of knowing ahead
38:36
Speaker 1: of time, and that's a very real phenomenon. That's not
38:41
Speaker 1: something that just occurs among the few people. I remember.
38:45
Speaker 1: And was just talking to my brother about the fact
38:48
Speaker 1: that my dad, who died at fifty. The days before
38:53
Speaker 1: he died, we knew, we just knew there was no
38:56
Speaker 1: reason he had been sick, but it was a long
38:59
Speaker 1: time now afterwards, and we just called each other in
39:02
Speaker 1: the night before he died and said, there's this cloud
39:05
Speaker 1: over us, and we knew he would die. We just
39:08
Speaker 1: had that feeling. The next day we're very young, and
39:12
Speaker 1: so I feel like that's part of that connection that
39:15
Speaker 1: you have with another person, and it's very deep, and
39:19
Speaker 1: somehow you know when they're not going to be there anymore.
39:23
Speaker 1: You just get it. And one of the things I'm
39:26
Speaker 1: hearing from everybody talking about this is the help that
39:30
Speaker 1: you need to have. If you have a faith in
39:33
Speaker 1: God or people that really make a difference in your life,
39:39
Speaker 1: you are with them and need to turn to them
39:42
Speaker 1: however you need to do that. The other thing I
39:46
Speaker 1: want to say in response to what you ask, Nancy,
39:49
Speaker 1: is that it takes a very long time and in
39:53
Speaker 1: some ways it never goes away, it just gets smaller.
39:59
Speaker 1: It's always a Your love is always there. The connection
40:03
Speaker 1: is there that you learn to live again and live
40:06
Speaker 1: with that loss, and that's more of what happens. It's
40:12
Speaker 1: not like you forget them. You never do, and it's
40:16
Speaker 1: always a part of you. There's this growth of pain
40:20
Speaker 1: that you live with and you live beyond and it
40:22
Speaker 1: gets you to be stronger. But at first it just
40:26
Speaker 1: feels like you can't handle it, but you do. Well.
40:30
Speaker 1: You know, Karen Stark, You know you spent all that
40:33
Speaker 1: time with you and I talking about could I ever
40:36
Speaker 1: go forward, but I remember the moment I walked down
40:40
Speaker 1: the aisle and saw David at the end of the aisle,
40:45
Speaker 1: and everything you told me, Karen Stark was right time
41:05
Speaker 1: Stories with Nancy Grace Nancy Nagel, the author of The
41:11
Speaker 1: Shell Collector, did you have any idea when you were
41:15
Speaker 1: writing that book after you gave up your corporate job,
41:20
Speaker 1: when you're writing that book that it was going to
41:21
Speaker 1: affect people the way it has? Um? You know, when
41:25
Speaker 1: I first started writing at it was for me um,
41:29
Speaker 1: but in part of kind of my healing. And you know,
41:32
Speaker 1: you're right. I mean, the pain doesn't go away. It
41:35
Speaker 1: definitely changes shape and texture so that we can, you know,
41:39
Speaker 1: muddle through, but it never goes away. But as I
41:43
Speaker 1: began getting into the story and creating it and it
41:47
Speaker 1: started coming to life on the page, I knew in
41:50
Speaker 1: my heart that it was a message and that God's
41:53
Speaker 1: hands were all over it, and that he was helping
41:55
Speaker 1: me create a story that could touch hearts and many circumstances.
42:01
Speaker 1: Because you know, and I think we've heard it today
42:03
Speaker 1: with Taya and Barbed too, that you know in your
42:06
Speaker 1: personal thing, Nancy, you know, it's like we know the story,
42:11
Speaker 1: and we kind of had the power like Dorothy and
42:13
Speaker 1: her little red slippers that click our heels um and
42:16
Speaker 1: it's within us all the time. And I think a
42:19
Speaker 1: lot of that's the Holy Spirit, and it gives us
42:22
Speaker 1: power to find the people we need to uplift us
42:26
Speaker 1: and move on. And so yeah, I did. I feel
42:29
Speaker 1: felt like God had special things for that book. And
42:31
Speaker 1: when it debuted, it came out number twenty on the
42:34
Speaker 1: ECPA bestseller list. It was my first Christian romance or
42:39
Speaker 1: Christian women's fiction novel. And so yeah, I mean that
42:44
Speaker 1: that just felt like, yeah, Okay, I did the right thing.
42:46
Speaker 1: I said the right things, and you sure did, you
42:49
Speaker 1: sure did. And Caitlin Clark, now that you were hearing
42:53
Speaker 1: Tea and Barb all of us talking, how does it
42:58
Speaker 1: hit you that you have been the star in such
43:02
Speaker 1: an important movement? Well, I definitely feel very honored and
43:08
Speaker 1: with also a great reminder the responsibility that I have
43:13
Speaker 1: as an actress, you know, and the important part of
43:17
Speaker 1: really going through the script and hopefully inspiring others. And
43:23
Speaker 1: I hope you all appreciate my portrayal absolutely, Amanda, Oh
43:28
Speaker 1: my goodness, the portrayal of the Star of Shell Collector.
43:36
Speaker 1: I mean when you're hearing real life military widows. I mean,
43:42
Speaker 1: that's a very big duty because you're portraying not just
43:46
Speaker 1: the heroine of the book Shell Collector, You're portraying bits
43:51
Speaker 1: and pieces of all the women and men that I've
43:55
Speaker 1: turned in to military widows. Listen to the shell Collector. Hey, hey,
44:04
Speaker 1: I got them a bit of a surprise. It's okay, Okay,
44:08
Speaker 1: Hey you too. I got three questions for you. Do
44:11
Speaker 1: you like to run? Yeah? Do you like to fly?
44:15
Speaker 1: You're silly, we can't fly. Do you like monkeys? We love?
44:22
Speaker 1: I don't phone one of those before I'll show you
44:24
Speaker 1: how I'm prepared to be impressed on you Gotta run
44:31
Speaker 1: with me? Or will fly? Hey? You want to give
44:36
Speaker 1: the shot? You're doing great. I'm impressed. It was so
44:52
Speaker 1: sweet of you. Jack and I used to fla tight
44:54
Speaker 1: something from so all the times. Dude, it's that would
44:56
Speaker 1: be something to make a share with him. But of
44:58
Speaker 1: course you two had to two kite because it would
45:01
Speaker 1: be a competition. There always was, except over you. He
45:06
Speaker 1: never competed over you. Of course that I oways you wouldn't.
45:12
Speaker 1: Can I ask you, Barbe, do you ever feel that
45:19
Speaker 1: your husband is giving you messages, or is in touch
45:22
Speaker 1: with you, or is with you every day. Oh. I
45:26
Speaker 1: could talk for a very very long time about about that,
45:29
Speaker 1: because the answer is very strong. Yes, in so many
45:32
Speaker 1: different ways and so many different moments, and especially now
45:38
Speaker 1: you know, I'm I'm engaged to an amazing man who
45:42
Speaker 1: loves all of me. He has the same birthday as
45:45
Speaker 1: my husband, and it's like, you know, um, and even
45:49
Speaker 1: his kids have said he was just telling his kids
45:51
Speaker 1: the other day, so I know. Sometimes I talked to
45:53
Speaker 1: Lou and his two kids, or a teenager said to him, Oh,
45:57
Speaker 1: you know that's cool because maybe Lou had a heart
46:00
Speaker 1: in sending you to Barb. So even even they get it.
46:04
Speaker 1: But yeah, there have been there and I think probably
46:08
Speaker 1: if we turned this into a discussion where we all
46:10
Speaker 1: shared our stories, I feel like we could. We would
46:13
Speaker 1: all talk for hours about all the moments because I
46:15
Speaker 1: don't think they're unique to me, and I feel like
46:17
Speaker 1: everybody on this call, I agree with you. I agree
46:20
Speaker 1: with you. Hey, have you ever felt that Chris had
46:24
Speaker 1: has guided you or been with you at your side
46:28
Speaker 1: over this difficult time? Yeah? I do. And it's it's
46:33
Speaker 1: interesting because you know, my daughter was six years old,
46:36
Speaker 1: and she's so so so close to Chris. I mean,
46:41
Speaker 1: just in January, he's killed beginning of February and January
46:44
Speaker 1: he left for our business trip for two days, and
46:46
Speaker 1: her eyes filled up with tears, and she said, I
46:48
Speaker 1: know Daddy's going to be back in two days, but
46:51
Speaker 1: I already miss him. You know, She's just like they
46:53
Speaker 1: were so close, and after he was killed, she had
46:56
Speaker 1: so many spiritual experiences that she was too young to
47:00
Speaker 1: know right, Like one of them was we were leaving,
47:04
Speaker 1: and I had enough experience before to know that I
47:08
Speaker 1: believe in this. And so even the first time she
47:11
Speaker 1: asked me, was like, Mama, I feel like I hear
47:13
Speaker 1: Daddy saying I love you, baby girl, but his voice
47:16
Speaker 1: sounds different, and you know, so I just said, you know,
47:19
Speaker 1: I'm sure you are, baby, and so forth. So after
47:22
Speaker 1: Chad's memorial service, Chad was Littlefield was killed with Chris
47:26
Speaker 1: the same day by the same person in the same moment,
47:29
Speaker 1: And that was the first memorial service that my daughter
47:33
Speaker 1: had been to. We went to the bathroom and we
47:35
Speaker 1: were in the same stall before we went to the funeral,
47:37
Speaker 1: right because she's little and she's holding this little stuffed
47:39
Speaker 1: animal in her little dress, the tears down her face.
47:41
Speaker 1: She was Mama said yeah, and she was, I feel
47:44
Speaker 1: like I hear daddy saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry, baby girl,
47:48
Speaker 1: But what is he sorry for? And I was like,
47:51
Speaker 1: you know, if you don't know why you're hearing it,
47:53
Speaker 1: you're not making it up, you know. And so there
47:57
Speaker 1: were a lot of Yeah, there were a lot of
47:58
Speaker 1: experiences like that, and a lot of um. There were
48:01
Speaker 1: some confirmations too, where I thought, man, I I'm crazy,
48:04
Speaker 1: like I identified with Barb two thing. Okay, I'm curing
48:08
Speaker 1: this and feeling this, I'm seeing this. I surely I'm crazy, right,
48:11
Speaker 1: because that's you just doubt yourself. And then I've gotten
48:14
Speaker 1: confirmations in the most interesting ways that okay, wow, that
48:18
Speaker 1: must have been real. And so, yes, you know, a
48:21
Speaker 1: few stories as usual from Tea over here to answer
48:24
Speaker 1: one simple question. But yees, you know what's so great
48:27
Speaker 1: about the shell collect What's so great about the shell
48:31
Speaker 1: Collectors is that you can look at it anytime you
48:35
Speaker 1: want on Fox Nation. I'm just so proud to be
48:41
Speaker 1: even a small part of putting this out there. To
48:46
Speaker 1: Nancy Nagel, incredible author, Barb Alan military widow, Teya Kyle
48:53
Speaker 1: military widow, Caitlyn Clark, the incredible actress starring in The
49:00
Speaker 1: Shell Collector, and our friend Karen Stark. The time we
49:06
Speaker 1: spent together today has meant so much to me, and
49:09
Speaker 1: I know it well to everyone listening or watching right now.
49:12
Speaker 1: I just wish we could all be together when we
49:15
Speaker 1: watch Shell Collector on Fox Nation. But I want to
49:18
Speaker 1: thank all of you from the bottom of my heart
49:21
Speaker 1: and wish you all the very very best, because you
49:27
Speaker 1: truly deserve it. God bless you. Nancy Grace signing off
49:32
Speaker 1: good bye,