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Can You Take a Sword to the Park? · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Can you take a sword to the park. It's one
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: more thing before I get to that.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Came across this am I doing sword yoga in this scenario.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: We learned about that the other day.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: You're chopping apart melons.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Oh huh. You ever seen anybody in your third world
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: island nation chopping a coconut with a sword or I
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: guess it's a big like machete thing. It's really really
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: quit amazing the key. You gotta be decisive. It's like
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: a good phlebottomist. What was your man? Your man? Uh?
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: What was his name?
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Pong Pong, best flebottomist ever. He learned it from a
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: guy who had been a medic in Iraq. It's all
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: about just doing it. You just gotta go.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: There's a saying in golf you're much better making a
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: committed swing of the wrong club than a i'm not
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: sure swing with the right club. Pong taught us that.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: And you're coconut splitters of the third world degree. Be confident, folks.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: This is your moment of information.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: My son wants to meet a buddy at the park
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: with his Civil War sword and cut apart of melons.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Now it doesn't actually have an edge. You could ride
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: to town on it. As my dad would say, I
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: love that expression. It's dull.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: This nice is so dull, you could ride to town.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I love that it still looks like a sword. Yeah,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: am I going to have a problem? Are parents going
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: to call the police?
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Especially in your communist enclave? One hundred percent? Yes, yeah, yeah,
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: it's a weapon. It looks like well, it's.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Arguably a weapon, but so it's a bat and hers
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: kids playing baseball exactly. Yeah.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: I didn't say it was a good idea or justified,
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: but yeah, I gotta admit if I saw a teenager
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: with this sword, I'm not sure I would call, but
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: I would think about it.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't call the police, but I wouldn't want my
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: kids over with the kid with this sword.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, in a world of school shooters, I mean, it's
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: not like there're a lot of school swords. Yeah. Yeah,
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: that that seems like probably begging for trouble.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's really excited about this. I might see if
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: I can convince him to do it in our backyard.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Oh there you go. Sweetened the deal a little bit.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: What goes well with.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Melons, I just don't need to deal with the talking
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: to the police.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Right right, Oh my god, it could be a huge pain.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Feel that right.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Then I'd have to use my yeo old stole a weapon.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: So is that bad over there? You don't give me
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: the old wood shampoo?
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Really you don't. Oh please, We'll make sure somebody's videotaping
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: it with their phone. W'd be good for ratings. Maybe
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: we'll go viral. Nothing goes with melons because melons don't
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: need anything. They're a food, they're a beverage.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: We have this running joke in my family, my family
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: being me and my two boys, that anytime I almost
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: do anything bad, it's like we go to our announcer voice. Oh,
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: known Trump supporter, you know, runs over kid on bicycle
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: or whatever. This one would be known Trump supporter and
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: right wing radio lunatic sends sun to park with sword.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: It's not a good headline, no, no, So I guess I'll.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Have to talk about that.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, we bought all the melons yesterday at the
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: grocery store.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Speaking of bats, a David French article I shared during
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: our four of the show. He made a reference, fairly
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: casual reference to how sports has changed and now everybody
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: pays for an enormous mounts of swag and travel teams
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: and blah blah blah. And he mentioned, I don't know
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: how old he is. He must be a little younger
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: than us. He mentioned, you know, back in the day,
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: you had your your own shoes and glove and bat
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: and blah blah blah, and and I was like, hang
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: on there, that hole, you've got to have your own bat.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Thing that happened like after I stopped playing ball as
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: like a young adult. If anybody announced, no, I have
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: to have my own bat, we'd have laughed them out
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: of the dugout. We've got every size, every length and
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: weight you need. That one's got a little thinner hand
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: off or choke up half an inch. Yeah, the idea that, oh,
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: I must have my own bat again, we don hoot it.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: But everything's gotten more fancy and professionalized, pushed by.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: People who are profiting from it. How do you not
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: catch under this? And moms and moms who liked the
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: outfits they.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: Like fans, oh, and dads who think that their kids
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: going to get a scholarship and be a sports hero
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: that will reflect well on them and the rest of it.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: One of the weirdest twists in my life is. I
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: was obsessed with sports for a lot of it, and
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I assumed my kids would be really into sports, and
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: they weren't. They were just casual rec league type people.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: And I am so relieved. I was initially disappointed. I
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: am so relieved.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Right, That's funny. I have that similar in that I've
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: been perfectly fine if they were like super into a sport.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: And there's all the advantages of you know, being busy
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: doing something that's not bad for you if nothing else, Sure,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: but watching other people's lives be dominated by their kids baseball, swimming, soccer, whatever,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: it doesn't break my heart that we're not doing that.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know we've shared some really wise stuff about
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: having the kids' activity be the king of the family
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: is really not healthy. I know, I'm not me not
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: criticizing y'all. I know it's kind of part of the
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: modern world and you get swept along in it.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: But everyone really really loves it or is really really
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: good at it. But yeah, I know several people who
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: they just disappear from life for three four months of
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: the year, if not longer, because of it's whatever season.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, which was just unheard of.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, if nothing else, you got to admit that
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: didn't exist until fairly recently.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Just driven by something, yeah, driven by something.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: One more thing. I'll just finish on this. On the sword.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: I thought this was kind of funny. So we got
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: the sword at wal Drug in South Dakota, which is
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: a very famous tourist trap, really really cool place anyway.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: It's an authentic, very authentic Civil War sword that was
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: kind of expensive, and he really really wanted and had
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: to be like part of his birthday president and everything
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: like that because it was kind of expensive because we
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: had just visited where Customers Last Stand and we just
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: did that whole tour and everything like that. So it's
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: a really really cool heavy duty but it doesn't have
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: an edge on it. So he wanted to try it
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: out on cutting a watermelon open. And so we waited
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: until we got to my parents' house, his grandparents' house,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: and my brothers were there, and we were all wondering,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: is this gonna like what could go wrong here? Is
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: this gonna work? Is it gonna like hit and like
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: like break his wrists with like the swinging really hard
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: and like like if you hit a tree with a
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: bat or is it going to bounce straight up in
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: the face, just trying to figure out what what horrible
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: things can go wrong here or or or will it
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: cut the melon?
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: We have described my entire childhood right there, which is
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: why I have so many scars.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, we used to all just try this stuff
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: on our own without asking our parents if it was okay,
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: and we're better for it. Yeah, but anyway, and parents
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: didn't used to worry about it like I was worried
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: about it. But we were all going through My younger
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: my youngest brother, who's very cautious, was just certain it
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: was gonna be a disaster of some sort. But anyway,
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: we all went to the park. So it's me, my brother, Gramma,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Gradpa Edry and his brother Sam and the sword in
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: the big water melon, and we got it on video
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: and everything like that. Nobody knew what was gonna happen.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: And and sliced it perfectly into like it was a
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: sharp knife, which is just amazing, I mean, just a
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: perfect cut, awesome, even though it's dull. Wow, I thought
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: was an interesting lesson about inertia or swords or something
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Or watermelons.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Or melon in general.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: Well presumably then it could do some fairly serious damage
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: to flesh as well.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Oh to a head, Yeah yeah, I think it'd probably
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: do the same thing to a head.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: And I think about my mom, God rest her soul,
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: the number of times I came home bloody. What happened
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: trying to, you know, wash it off to figure out
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: whether you know I needed to be administered to by
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: professionals or.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: That's always the key.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: There's blood.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: How bad is it? It could be quite minor and bloody,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: or it could be very very bad.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Every parents know, every parent knows there are some parts
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: of the body that are more than generous if they
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: start to bleeds. I'm a great deal less so yeah, yeah, so.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: That's your lesson. Even with a very very dull sword,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: if you find yourself in a situation where you'd really
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: like some watermelon.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Don't waste your money with the local sword sharpener. Your
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: Civil war sword will do just fine, exactly. Look, we've
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: all want to.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: So if you get fruit salad at Jack's house, just
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: know that his son slice that.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Up coming up on tomorrow's podcast, Killing Flies with Muskets.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: Stay with us.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.