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Transcript

S2 E25 - Pretty...Pretty...Pretty Woman · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Previously, on the Stephen Jeff show, I am from the future.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_02: Which I I don't get on my cable system.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: His energy went back almost to George of the Jungle.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I digress, Jeff.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I thought it was waterboarding.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: Spaghetti sauce.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: They probably make it out of spaghetti sauce.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: They had a little air of help.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: Did we lose electricity?
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Can I hear you?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: It is Miss Claire, I'm sure.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody in Peoria knows about Miss Claire.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's sad.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: I really don't want to work with you guys.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You were completely rude, had tons of attitude towards me.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's the Claire show.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope you enjoy it.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: What is Paymo?
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Here on Paymo.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully this settles everything and we can go back to normal.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: But Jeff's dead.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Good night.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Right, people.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: And now here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Hey Jeff, isn't it great to be back in the big studio, the real eccentric Lady Land studio?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Not that little room that we had to break into before.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, how's it going, Steve?
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: So spacious in here.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: I forgot how big the big studio is.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's three, four feet bigger than the little one.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: I can stretch out here.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: Doesn't it feel good not to be in trouble anymore?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like we were had were sent to our room for like months.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: So much time and detention.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: It took me back to my Juvie days, which you know most things do, but but I digress, Jeff.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: So how you been?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: I've been good.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_02: You know, one of the things, Steve, I know this is weird, but because we've been so successful and we've met that we have been successful.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: All of a sudden we're flush with a lot of money, you know, like millions and millions of dollars.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I have this accountant, and he told me not to take any taxes out of all of our money.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds like good advice because then you can just use the money, you know, and then you don't have to worry about the taxes.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a smart guy.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: I could have used that accountant.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, I think his line was tax shelters and deductions are not an exact science.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, it's an art, it's an art.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, it's not important.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: Unfortunately, we got our tax bill.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: We owe a shitload of money.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I when my wife took a look at it, she completely freaked out.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: She was up late at night.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: I was worried, and then she came home one night and she told me that she had gotten a job.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: I had no idea, Steve.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: We were, you know, you and I were busy, you know, creating miracles, you know, like exactly doing the hard work for the for the million, let's face it, Jeff, for the millions, you know, come on, right?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: And so so I said, Well, where'd you get a job?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_02: And she says, Well, I got a job as a prostitute to make some extra money.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, That's a entry level, street level, one might call it, right?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, yeah, and I'm like, I'm like, there's no way, but before I could even get those words out, she threw four thousand one hundred and fifty dollars and fifty cents on the bed.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: I was stunned, and I'm like, but I'm looking at it and I'm thinking, what kind of a jerk would give you 50 cents?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: And she said, all of them.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: So that you know, it's it's it's a hard job, you know.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's one that uh it's harder than doing a podcast, maybe.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, although I feel like sometimes we are prostitutes, and for a time there, when we were looking for funding, oh yeah, we we streetwalked Jeff.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Let's face it.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we were walking the street looking for that funding.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Luckily, my mom came through.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: I took it, it took her long enough, but I mean she came through.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: That worked out, but I digress, Jeff.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's really interesting that Kathy took on that additional work.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: I think that obviously she grew up with the movie Pretty Woman, right?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and in Pretty Woman, it's you know, a love story or whatever.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not sure prostitution is is that, but that was what was fixed in her mind.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: That movie meant a lot to a lot of people.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a little bit like if prostitution was a fairy tale, like if Aesop told a story about prostitutes, it might be pretty woman.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: I think the reality might be a little bit different than that, but yeah, it would be nice if you could kind of go back because it I don't think the movie really holds up when you think about what it stood for or whatever.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: It'd be nice to go back and kind of figure out how the lead character felt because I don't think that's the movie that would be made now.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Jeff, it's so interesting that you would say that because you're not gonna believe who our guest is just on the other side of this glass.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: My dad?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, my dad was a prostitute at one point.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that's why he's in prison.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: So that's one of the reasons.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: He's in prison for a lot of money.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: All right, fine.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of the reasons, you know, among other things.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but we really digress.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, right on the other side of that glass is our guest who's going to shed some light on this very topic that we're talking about.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: Our guest is uh Ms.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Vivian Ward.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Ms.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Ward, welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_04: Hi, hi, thank you.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_04: Thanks for having me.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_04: I have heard so much about you guys.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_04: I'm really I'm excited to be here to really set the record straight.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's outstanding.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: And for those again, those who are maybe a little bit younger and don't remember, as I said, Pretty Woman was a fairy tale about a very attractive woman who is a street walker, whatever, and meets this really good-looking guy, and they end up happily after getting married.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of a Cinderella story, you know, without the slippers and maybe with fishness stockings and condoms because it was the 90s or whatever.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, do I have that right?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, yeah, that's that's what the movie was about.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_04: That's what the movie was.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_04: That's not really my story, though.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_04: I sold my life rights and the rights to my book that I had written, Pretty Protestant Woman.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_04: Uh and the book, uh, because I was I was pretty Protestant as a person, you know.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_04: And uh the book had my life rights.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_04: It was about me growing up as a Protestant, not a prostitute, as the movie would say.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_04: And then I fell in love, I get married, I have children, I raise them as Scientologists, just like my husband.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_04: But but really, the only kind of really accurate thing is the condoms.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_04: We didn't need to, but you know, Barry insisted it was the 90s, right?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_04: Well, everybody was so yeah, yeah.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: No, Ms.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: Ward, I can really understand that confusion, and not to go all St.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: Cecilia's Day Massacre on you or anything, but I always get Protestant and Prostitute confused myself, but I digress.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, so just changing the word from Protestant to prostitute, they made that movie that changed everything about your story.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, no, that really that that changed that changed a lot.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_04: I've I've thought about protesting it, as it were.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_04: Raised Protestant, so I'm pretty good at that.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_04: I think I think it must have been a studio thing.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_04: Honestly, I think Harvey Weinstein was really excited about having Julia Roberts as a prostitute.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_04: I I don't know.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_04: He he's been kind of obsessed with both of us, honestly.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, he was obsessed with me for a while, and then he was obsessed with Julia Roberts.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_04: And and I I don't know, he's he's got a passion, a penchant for Protestants and Protestant prostitutes.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I think he's an equal opportunity obsessor, I would say.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I I don't want to step out on the line here because I don't know him uh personally, but I don't think he has that great of a reputation.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: But again, I don't want to have uh you know make judgments, but hate to jump to conclusions, but no a conviction or two, you know, come on, wait, yeah, yeah.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_04: That's something I wouldn't protest.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that that one I think you're probably on the right track there.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: I think we would agree, but that sucks that they changed the story.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: Were you aware of it?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: As like at what point did you know that this was gonna happen, or what did you think was originally gonna happen?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, I didn't know for a long time.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_04: I had sold the rights, and I was actually told that Larry David was gonna write the screenplay and Jason Alexander was gonna play the leading role, which is great because he looked just like my husband.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_04: That was a good one.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, yeah, it made a lot of sense.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_04: It really kind of fit our story.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so Larry David came up with the original title of the movie, Pretty Pretty Woman.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, um, which I think was kind of an homage to me.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_04: But no, uh, they they quickly they the studio got a hold of it.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_04: It was the 90s more sex, I imagine.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_04: Then they ended up hiring Richard Gere, which is fine, but doesn't look anything like my husband.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_04: And they they kept Jason on, but in a different role.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_04: And none of that, none of that did I have any knowledge of.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_04: I had already signed off on the first draft, and then uh just things changed and changed and changed, didn't see any of it till opening.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, that's too bad that they really took your story and changed it, made your life different.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, the interesting thing though, kind of ironic, that you know, you talk about Larry David's involvement.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: One of my favorite episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm, which uh one of my favorite shows, a great show, but one of my favorite episodes is where he hires a prostitute to ride with him so he can ride in the carpool lane to the Dodger game.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, do you do you think maybe when he did that episode that was like a shout-out, an homage to the movie?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I feel like that would have maybe even been more along my life story, right?
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_04: Just always trying to get places on time and find any way to get into that carpool lane.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_04: Uh no, I it would have been uh it would have been better if he had stayed involved, I think.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_04: And he might have gotten Jerry Seinfeld in.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_04: That that would have been a funny movie.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: I would have liked the name that he came up with, which is is how does he say that?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: Is it pretty pretty woman?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_02: Pretty woman, which I think would have been very funny.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: That would have been talking about a rom com, you'd have your com right there, and then you'd have the rom.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you'd have to add that, but yeah, your com is in the title.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you've already got it.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_04: I've liked rom com, you know.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_04: I I like the com to be what you really focus on.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: It was uh the movie, the final movie was more of a rom com.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, agreed.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: Rom direction, not that funny in a lot of ways, you know.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so you were talking about how Richard Gere played the male role lead in it.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then Julia Roberts played you.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, whatever they ended up making you to be.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, how did you how did you feel about Julia Roberts playing you again or some kind of version of you?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_04: That was great.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_04: I thought that was good casting, right?
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, she's got really nice lips, kind of like mine.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_04: I have a little bit better shape than she does, but you can't always get it right, you know.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: Hollywood, right?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what do you gotta do?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_04: I personally don't need this stuff, but you know, um I may maybe they wanted to match Richard Gere, who probably needs to do a little stuffing too.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_04: Um just I don't personally know, I suppose.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_04: Just have an idea.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_04: She was fine, she was she was fine in what they made it.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_04: That was great, and it is it was strange because uh she's kind of continued to sort of be my life doppelganger.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_04: She played a role in another movie that was much closer to my real story.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_04: She did that movie, Sleeping with the Enemy.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_04: And I still get the creeps when I watched that one because obviously whoever made that one read my book, and I did not get a dime from that one.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, wow.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: I think I saw that movie a long time ago, right?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: I it was probably right after Pretty Woman or sometime around then.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: But correct me if I'm wrong, but it wasn't sleeping with the enemy about a woman who is married to a psychopath, and he was like a neat freak and had this really bad temperature it was very dark, very controlling, yes.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yep, that was the one.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_04: Did you read my book too?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: I did not, but that's so you're saying that maybe in your life story that was similar, that was sort of uh how your life played out.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, that was very similar.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_04: And and Jason Alexander could have been my husband in that one, too.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_04: Like I said, the their cookie cutter, really.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, interesting enough, thinking about movies and making movies about real people, you know, Jeff, when they make the movie about the Steven Jeff show, I think Jason Alexander could play you.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe Larry David could play you.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think that either of them could they they have a little too much hair.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, Larry David's close.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: But I guess, yeah, and in Hollywood, you can Hollywood sex appeal.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Jason could wear like one of those skin things, you know, and Larry's pretty close to you.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean that would that actually would work out.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I also think Jason's a little too tall for me, but again, no people aren't gonna know exactly what I look like.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I think that that would be true.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and and would you be would Kramer play you, Steve?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: Where do you see that?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, see, that's the tricky thing because I I am really convinced Richard Lewis should have played me, and of course, now he can't, right?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: So they'll probably have to find, you know, I don't know, Lawrence Tierney, uh Kim Tamiroff, somebody, you know, somebody else.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't know.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: So miss Ward, are you are you still married to your husband?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_04: No, no, I I don't know what you remember about the end of sleeping with the enemy.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_04: It's been a while, but I life imitates art, right?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I know there wasn't uh a sleeping with the enemy.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, or not, right?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_04: Let's allegedly, allegedly, we probably shouldn't say anything more about that.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_04: But my kids are no longer Scientologists.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, wow.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you tell us a little bit about after the movie ended?
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, the movie, which wasn't really your story, but was supposed to be your story.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: What happened after the movie, after that part of your life?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so I I I I raised the two kids, Julie and Richard, and um after my husband died tragically accidentally.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: Uh oh yeah, oh, of course, yeah.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_04: Who knows?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_04: I moved to California and I became a paralegal.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, wow.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: So you were involved with a law firm.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: You worked with a law firm then.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_04: It's it's actually that has been so fascinating, and that that justice work has just been such a part of my heart, you know.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_04: I I worked for a firm that's handled just a ton of stuff, a lot of big companies.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, they've gone after utility companies, uh, they've represented people who got sick from toxic spills, pollution, just uh all that kind of thing.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_04: They've worked really hard to just make the world better.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: Kind of like that movie.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: What was that name of that movie, Steve, that Julia Roberts was in?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Was it uh let's see, Brin.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: No, um Brin, yeah, Aaron Gobrokovich, something like that.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was something like that.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_04: And you know what?
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_04: Funny, Julia Roberts stars in that one too.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_04: That is they do a better job with her boobs in that one, though.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I think it's fate sometimes.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_04: Like we are we are so connected.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_04: Like I experience the life, and then she tells the story on screen, giving me no credit.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_04: That's fine.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_04: I know that she likes having good meaty stories to tell, and you know, we look pretty similar again.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, they got the boobs closer in Aaron Brockovich, although I still think she sucked, but you know, Jeff, I think she I think she does look a lot like Julia Roberts.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's that's pretty amazing.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: They they did a good job of casting, if not the story, you know.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Really, on taking your story and getting and changing it and giving you no credit, not even the story suggested by you should call WGA about that one.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And SAG after should be all over there.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_04: I'm supposed she's not the one who has to give rights to people, you know.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: But right, oh yeah, no, it wasn't her, it was you know the the producers, you know.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_04: But it's interesting how she's played so many parts that are basically my existence, yeah.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and and you know, now have you have you met Julia Roberts since all this happened, since she played you in so many, so many different movies here?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_04: No, I haven't.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_04: I've tried tried to read out reach out to her a couple times because you know, like things happen to me, and I'm like, hey, have I got a story for you?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_04: You tend to always do well in the exact stories of my life.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_04: But no, she hasn't reached back.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_04: I actually uh I got a disease and had to go to the hospital.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_04: It was like COVID, I think, and that would have made a wonderful movie.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_04: Uh but we would be a great team.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_04: No, she really she hasn't she hasn't responded to me yet, though.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_04: I I guess I get frustrated by it a little bit, but also, you know, not her.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_04: It's the producers, it's the whole team.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sure she's not personally snubbing me.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_04: I've actually even thought like we could do a movie together, you know.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_04: Like I haven't had like a real acting training or anything, but there's one I thought about it would be both of us, you know, because we look so much alike and we have that similar uh similar features, and and so she could move in, we could move into the same apartment complex, right?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_04: And we immediately become obsessed with each other.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_04: She just like wants to take over my life because you know, I'm so interesting and to have so much that she wants to follow.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_04: So, like we we get the same haircut and the same clothes, and we date the same men and the same exact man.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_04: And um, yeah, so like that one, uh single white Protestant female.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: I can see that, and in fact, I think I have seen that.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: Wasn't there a movie like that?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, yeah, I think I rented.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: I well, I did rent it, in fact, like 30 years ago when it came out.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think I did.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_04: I haven't heard of anything like that one.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_04: Sounds like I should figure out who did that and maybe start suing them too.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, I don't think it was Julia Roberts, though.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean, at least she's off the hook for that one.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: Don't think so.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: It's completely different.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you know this, but Julia listens to our show.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and and she's yeah, she's all the time sending us texts or emails saying, you know, she wants to be on the show.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, we're kind of a we want to really go beyond the shallow part of just being an actress.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I exactly.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, Jeff, anybody can do celebrities.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, come on, that is that's that's the bottom feeder type stuff, you know.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we go for the really hard interviews, the real people, the real stories.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: But my question would be if she was here today, if she was in the studio today, what would you say to her?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_02: What would what do you think would be the interaction between what basically are twins, right?
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_02: In some ways.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_04: That is such a great question.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_04: And I have thought for so long about what I would say to her if we were together.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_04: And I think I think honestly, we would be like we'd be like sisters, you know, just gabbing, talking, you know, sharing our life story.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_04: And I feel like we would get back to just talking about what's really important in life, love, right?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_04: And I would tell her all about this time that I met who I really think was my true love.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_04: He was this guy who ran a little bookshop in England, you know, it was right right in sort of that parks area, um, that Notting Hills area.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_04: And we just we we really hit it off.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_04: And I just feel like I feel like we would just share those kind of stories, those those great times of our lives kind of kind of discussions.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, you know, that would make a great movie too.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you could have speaking of single white Protestant female living in Notting Hill.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, it is shortened the title, you know, because and that one, that one I have to tell you, is 93% Rom.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Big Rom, little com.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_02: Just to clarify, because I think the studio is also listening.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, are you at currently suing them or is this something in the past?
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I'm personally focused on suing Harvey Weinstein.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: No, as as as is everything.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: But it's a long line, that's a long line, yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, you're of course, yeah, suing him for sexual assault too, I assume, right?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_04: For for me personally, it's just ruining a great idea.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_04: Um that too.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and I feel like Julia would want me to do that as well.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_04: Like she could have really told my story, and it didn't have to be this other story that he that he pushed it into.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: No, exactly.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: And that's that's unique because everybody else is suing him for the other stuff.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, I I do think he is criminal in the way he did a lot of those movies back in the 90s and 80s, too.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: And somebody needs to hold him accountable.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm I'm really glad that you're you're choosing to go down that direction or at least thinking of it.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, it's it's really about accountability in all areas of our lives.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Miss Ward, uh Julia isn't the only member of the Roberts family that's talented actors, you know.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: There's uh her her niece Emma Roberts, and of course her niece's dad, her brother, Eric Roberts, they're both actors too.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: Have you met any of them?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I I mean, I I know a lot about Eric, Eric Roberts, her brother.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, wow.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: What do you what do you know about Eric?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I've enjoyed him since Pope of Greenwich Village.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: I they I liked him in that movie so much I almost kissed his ring.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, my gosh, it was it was great.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: It was great.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: Tell us about Eric.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, he has great lips.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because they're ring all the time, yeah.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_04: Moisturizer I can tell you doesn't need to stuff.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_04: He is a great actor.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I would say that he's like he's the real actor of the family.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's really interesting because he I gotta say, Julia is probably much more famous than Eric.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, Eric's well known, but you know, and does well, I'm sure.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, Julia's really like big time.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: You've met him then, right?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I I mean, I haven't met him per se, but Eric doesn't ignore me when I call during so many of his performances.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_04: He gives me a little wink, a little nod.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_04: He just lets lets me know that he got my phone messages and emails and texts and DMs and the carrier pigeons that I sent.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_04: He is so good that way.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: And IMs and PMs.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_04: I remember he was in, you know, one of the Batman movies and he actually smiled at me in one of his scenes.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that was thrilling.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: Ah, wow.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so I'm hoping we get a chance to work together someday too.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_04: You know, either I could represent him in like a class action suit against some corporation or stalkers or something like that, and um, or he could be a character in one of my upcoming books.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, um, absolutely.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you could be like in charge of the the Vatican in Greenwich Village, where he's the Pope, and you guys could like work together to do whatever the Pope of Greenwich Village does.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, everyone needs legal advice.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: If Jason Alexander is not available to play me in that movie, Eric Roberts would be great.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're a dead ring.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_02: People say I have nice lips too, and you know, I think maybe the similarities might end there, but well, Kathy, Kathy didn't tell me that.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: I in fact, I asked her that specifically.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: She she said, No, no, not really.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's a sensitive topic.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if you have a chance to talk to him, say hi for me.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_04: I can put it in one of our letters.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_04: Do you want his phone number or his email address or his favorite coffee place, or which bedroom is his?
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_04: I know which window it is in the house, it's upper right-hand corner towards the back.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: I can oh, not yet.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, but down the road, I I think that there's a possibility that I'd be interested in that.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: What do you think, Steve?
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think we should ask our lawyers before you say anything further.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: But listen, Miss Ward, thanks for being on our show.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: And this has been an incredible interview, Jeff.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think we've ever had an interview quite like this that took reality and brought it to the movies and showed us how the movies distorted reality.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: Who knew, right?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you know, Ms.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Ward.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_04: Truth is stranger than fiction.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: It is indeed.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: And Miss Ward, we feel so bad that you've been slighted by the big studios.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and you have not been paid for your work.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna make sure that you don't go away from this show empty-handed.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: Johnny, what do we have for Miss Ward?
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right, Steve.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: Ms.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: Ward may be unlucky with the comrams, but she is lucky she was on this show.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: She will receive a lovely, semi-precious Greenwich Village People Bullring from our friends at Ambiguity Designs.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: No protest about this single white stone, semi-crafted by unpaid labor in a country we can't name, all for our momentary amazement.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, when you think of jewelry, seek ambiguity.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: And she will be the lucky recipient of a virtual autographed copy of I'm No Relation, the Doris Roberts story.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: This collector's item was not autographed by the late actress, but by a former owner of the book who inscribed a touching sentiment when he re-gifted it to a charity auction.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, she will get a special home version of the Stephen Jeff Show with the Toxic Tort Game Package.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: You can walk the streets for years and not have more fun.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: This has been the Distorted Reality Production in association with Stalker Horst Media.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: Write us a review while you're there, too.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: This is Johnny Speaking.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: I know that home version game is a lot of fun, but my fun has been at the home of Steve's mom.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: She knows how to treat an announcer.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be heading back there soon to watch a movie with her tonight.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: Something about mysticism and pizza, I think.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: Good night.