Latest / Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis / 042: How to Figure Out What's Next When You Know You're Meant for More

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042: How to Figure Out What's Next When You Know You're Meant for More · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to the Limitless Living Podcast.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Frederica Davis, your host, entrepreneur, wellness expert, coach, and creator of the Limitless Reset Method.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: So today is Passion, Purpose, and Identity Saturday.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is where we talk about creating a life that feels more aligned, more meaningful, and more fully your own.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to dive today into a question that I think almost every woman asks herself at some point.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that is, what's next?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, have you ever looked around at your life and thought, is this it?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Not because you're unhappy.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: You might be super happy and have so many of the things that you always wanted.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: But it's not uncommon to have those moments where you're thinking, is this it?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it might not be because you're ungrateful or because you failed or because anything inside of you is wrong, but it's likely because something inside of you keeps whispering that there has to be more, more growth, more purpose, more joy.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's more connection or adventure.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you just want more of you.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: You want to see more of the old you or the real you or the you you don't yet know coming out.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you've been feeling like that lately, like, is this it?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't there more?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is especially for you because that feeling is not a problem to solve.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: That feeling is actually an invitation.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the biggest misconceptions is that major life changes only happen when everything falls apart.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not true.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that's the case, absolutely, but often that is not the case.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's really your life is looking pretty fine from the outside.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yet something inside you is feeling restless.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you are feeling, you know, disconnected from things that you used to love.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: You're outgrowing conversations that you've had for years.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: You're finding yourself craving more meaning, more depth, more purpose.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you keep daydreaming about something different.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Or you don't even know what that something is yet.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: You just know you are feeling called towards it, towards something.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I want you to hear.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: This does not mean you're having a crisis.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: It simply means you're ready to evolve.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: You are in some way evolving.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Every major shift in my life, I can tell you, started with a feeling long before it started with any plan.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: When I started my first business, I did not have an elaborate roadmap.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: That is a fact.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I had no idea what I was doing.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: What I did have was a feeling.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I had such a strong feeling.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted more freedom.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted more ownership of what I was doing.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted more control over my future.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And here I am, years later, I built massage wellness and beyond.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: I built a business that is successful, a business I still love, a team in that business that I love, clients that I absolutely love.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: But eventually another feeling started showing up.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Not because anything was wrong, or not even because I was unhappy in my current business, but because something else started calling me.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I kept feeling a little bit pulled towards more teaching and speaking and writing and toward reaching people beyond the treatment room one at a time.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And clients were always asking me, still are waiting on the book.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: When are you writing the book?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it's in the works.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: When are you starting the podcast?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And listen, you're listening to it now.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: How exciting is that?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because literally they were asking for that for ages before I finally went and did it.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: And they were asking me, when are you going to create the course?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know more about this.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm being honest, I had all those thoughts too.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I just kept telling myself, oh, I'm not ready.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's a little overwhelming.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know enough tech, or what if nobody listens?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I had all those stories in my head and I kept talking myself out of them.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've said this before, if you've listened for a little while, the podcast sat in my head for more than two years before I finally launched it.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it was not because I didn't want it.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was because I got stuck in perfectionism.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: I got stuck in some of the fear along the way.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: The technology felt overwhelming.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: The curiosity about it, I kept researching.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I took a couple of courses on how to have a podcast and all that kind of stuff.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: It just kept showing up for me again and again and again.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what happens when something is meant for your next chapter.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't necessarily disappear.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: It just keeps finding you.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it'll find you even before you're 100% sure.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it'll be signs that come your way, maybe it'll be books that keep with certain themes that keep popping up in front of you.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: There's all kinds of ways it'll keep popping up and finding you.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: I really think that the reason most women never figure out what's next for them is because they start asking the wrong question.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And what they do is they typically want to ask themselves, well, what should I do?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: What should I do?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And they ask that question, whether they're talking about what's got the plan going to be or what should I choose to do, it's the same.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: They ask that before they ask the question, who am I becoming?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is a very different question.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Your next chapter is not created through strategy first.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's created through your identity first.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Most women are trying to plan their next chapter before they've given themselves internally permission to want it.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this is before they've acknowledged it, before they've owned the next chapter, before they've admitted what they are longing for.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't discover your future ever by forcing answers.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: You really discover your future by asking the right questions, paying attention, listening, and giving yourself pause to process and step into that with your identity.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to give you five questions to help you find your next chapter.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not because these will magically solve anything, but these can help you dramatically start listening to yourself a little differently, listening to the signs and noticing things a little differently.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: So question number one is what feels heavy that used to feel just right?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now, maybe your word isn't going to be heavy for it.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: What no longer feels good that used to?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: We can simplify this.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to think about this in terms of your relationships, your responsibilities, your jobs, the roles that you have, your habits.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: What once fit you and seemed like no big deal, but no longer now fits.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Question number two, what energizes you lately?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the way to figure this out is going to be by looking at what conversations light you up.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Which ones light you up?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: I can tell you, I light up when I'm teaching.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: I light up when I'm doing this.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: I light up when I am helping a client, whether it's one-on-one or in a group, work through something and get to the other side and have a shift from wherever they're at into that realm of possibility or improvement or whatever it is we're talking about.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: That lights me up.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: So just to give you an example, what else lights you up?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Horseback riding lights me up.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, what lights you up?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that's going to be conversations, situations, hobbies.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: What are the things that light you up?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Then think about what books keep finding you.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: What's the common theme?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a common theme to them?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Or is there a common interest thread there?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: What podcasts do you like to listen to?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: What topics do you research for fun?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about what you research for work.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to start noticing what is it that you will search for on your phone, on the computer, that takes you down a rabbit hole because you're simply interested in it.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's clues in there.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: And those clues matter.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: This is how you start realizing what energizes you.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Question number three.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: What are you secretly curious about?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now this one's huge.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Curiosity pretty much always arrives before clarity, most of the time.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: So when we pay attention, what keeps pulling our attention, that gives us some serious data into what we might want to be doing more of next.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, question number four: if nobody judged you, what would you try?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: And let's take this one step further.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: If nobody judged you and money was not an issue, what would you try?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: That question has a way of uncovering dreams that fear has buried.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Question number five, your final question.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: What part of yourself wants more room to breathe?
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: What what are you craving more?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Is it creativity?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you want more leadership.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you want to step into a leadership role.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's more adventure in your life or freedom.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: How about travel?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: How about connection?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Spirituality.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: What is it you want more of?
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: What are you craving more room for to breathe into?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And what part of you has been waiting patiently for just more space to do that?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I know it's really often overwhelming when we're thinking about what's next for ourselves because we're looking at this whole big thing and it just looks monumental.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Even once you start, you know, whether you've started to get an idea of what you want next or not, it can look like a monumental task.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: But what I want you to do is stop trying to see the whole staircase all at once.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, think about going up to a lighthouse.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, I was out in California on the coastline with a friend of mine.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And um we we drove out, I forget what the lighthouse was.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: We went to this lighthouse and I don't know, it had something like I want to say like a million steps, but I'm exaggerating.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was something like 378 steps.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: They had them all numbered actually, and coming back up, I thought I was gonna die.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Truth be told, I thought I was gonna die.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Going down, I'm like, oh, that's a lot of steps.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then coming back up, and I happened to notice the top step, and I saw this, the number, I'm like, oh my word.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: So when we got down to the bottom, everything was fine.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: But then when I we were coming back up, I had that number in my head of how many steps there were.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I got a little caught up in that and I had to take a breath and go, okay, it's just one step at a time.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta focus on one step at a time, and eventually I get to the top, doesn't matter how long I'm it's gonna take me.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: And this was not long after I had my daughter.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I still had not fully recuperated from having my daughter, you know, at almost 40 and and uh as a single mom and this and that and the other thing.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I was pretty maxed out at the time.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: So if you can picture this, right?
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the point I want to give you is that I want you to stop trying to see the whole staircase because this is where we get stuck so often.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of you needing to see the whole plan, such as the whole staircase, but you instead of needing the whole plan before you take your first step, I want you to start realizing you don't need the whole entire plan.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm a planner, I like to see the whole big picture.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: I will tell you firsthand, I'm the big picture person.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: I need to see how it all fits together.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, that said, that's when I'm planning a, you know, like an ecosystem in my business or something like that.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: That said, I have learned to not need to know every single solitary tiny little step to get to the big plan.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because really, all any of us need, all you need is the next step.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if you keep just getting the next step and taking that, and then the next one and taking that, and the next one and taking that, oh my goodness, all of a sudden you're there.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Life is rarely revealed five years at a time.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: So trying to look at a five-year plan and getting caught up in that is often for most people so daunting that they don't get there because they get caught up in the whole concept of it.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: So my entire limitless reset method is built on knowing and doing each of your next steps one at a time, one at a time, one at a time, until all of a sudden they're layered and boom, you're like, wow, that really worked.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I got here.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: No matter what we're applying the limitless reset method to.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: So remember, you only really need the next step.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because life is rarely revealed five years at a time.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the time, it's revealed one step at a time.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: That means one conversation, that means one class that gives you a new skill or a new experience, one book, one decision, one trip, one opportunity, one brave moment at a time.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: You actually discover the path by walking it.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I know that can sound strange for some people because some of us, we want to know all the answers before we start, right?
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to give you an example of this.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: So recently I wanted to hear the trees.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I have a thing about trees.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I know that sounds strange, but trees have always been very important to me.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: They're very, very big part of my story, part of my work, part of my philosophy.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, and as you're around, you'll you'll start to pick up on that a little bit more.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: I grew up with them, I was surrounded by them, and I just love them.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And one, you know, I was driving in the car, I was on my way home, and and I thought, I don't want to go home.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's beautiful out.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: It is just this perfect night air.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: I want to see some stars.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: I really didn't have a destination in mind.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I wanted to hear the night sounds of the trees, and it was just the perfect weather to have the windows open and some music on and everything.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I kind of kept driving.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: I drove right by the road that would turn to go to my house, and I just kept going.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, all right, you know what?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna go north.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: I go north enough.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna find a nice little area and I'm gonna be able to hear all the trees and see the night sky without so much light pollution.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: I live in a suburb and we have plenty of trees.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: However, it's not the same because there's tons of light pollution.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: And there I was.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in my car, I'm driving.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: I have no particular destination.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's no anything for me to put in GPS.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: I have no specific plan.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: I just have a direction.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm headed.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: I roll down the windows, I turn on the music, I start singing, belting out the music at the top of my lungs, and I start driving toward the quieter roads.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, it's not quiet with the music and me singing at the top of my lungs, but I'm driving toward fewer lights.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm driving toward nature.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know exactly where I was going to end up.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: I simply knew the direction that felt right because I was listening to what I needed and what I wanted at that moment.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I tuned in.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually I found myself sitting near a creek with a small waterfall.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: The windows were open.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: I turned the music off.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped singing.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: And the moonroof, I have the double moonroof, they were open, the stars were overhead, trees were all around me.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I just remember thinking, this is exactly where I am supposed to be.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: Not because I planned it, but because I followed the feeling, and this is what I needed.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: It was what my nervous system needed at that moment, quite frankly.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I was able to listen to it.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that's how your next chapter will unfold.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: Not with any kind of perfect uncertainty, just with enough courage to move towards whatever it is that's calling you.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I promise you, your next chapter is probably already leaving clues for you.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's speaking to you right now, and that's going to be through what excites you, through what frustrates you, through what keeps showing up, through what you envy or you dream about.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Those fleeting thoughts that keep coming in, they're recurring through those.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's speaking to you through what you can't seem to stop thinking about.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: The clues are already there.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Most people simply keep talking themselves out of the clues.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Why I can't, dismissing it.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm too busy for this, whatever.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: We just keep talking ourselves out of it.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: I did that for over two years for this podcast.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing: you don't need to figure out your entire future today or all at once.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your only job right now is to become willing to explore the possibility that there's more available to you than you have allowed yourself to imagine.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: The women I know who create extraordinary next chapters, they don't have all the answers.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe the question is this what if I'm more ready than I think I am?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode resonated with you, I really want to invite you to join us inside the Limitless Living Community for Women Who Are Becoming.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: And tell me something.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Inside there, post it in the chat.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think is calling you into your next chapter right now?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're ready to stop wondering what's next, start creating it.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to support you through the whole woman reset experience.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, be rooted, be resilient, and be limitless.