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Transcript

And They Were Never Seen Again · CelinaSpookyBoo

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, today I am at an apple picking farm because
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: as an adult I've never picked apples.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: And I really want to.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: Why haven't you picked apples yet?
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: There is nothing wrong with a grown adult who has
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: not had a beautiful life full of farm-tastic delicious fun.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: This is my apple picking flannel.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Where did that just come from?
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: Just don't worry about it.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: It's a magic apple.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Now here's the real truth.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Everyone who meets me, I'm either wearing platform boots, I'm
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: six feet tall, but everyone says to me, wow, you're
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: a lot shorter.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Than I thought you were.
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: Okay, five foot two and a half.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: That's exactly how tall I am. It's kind of the
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: color Chris dyed her hair. Oh my gosh, it is.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Chris!
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: Chris Corn. Chris Corn will make you jump, jump.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Chris Corn will make you jump, jump.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, dang. Something twinged in my ass cheek.
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: Don't do that.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Something twinged in my ass cheek because I'm a grown lady.
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: No petting.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: We're going home.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: It's us.
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: It's literally us this morning.
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: It's Slane and Adam.
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: We were cuddling like that this morning.
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: Hi, baby.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Selena.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Selena.
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: You got a ladybug in your hair.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: That's fine.
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: I'm patting my pants.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Hi, baby.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Hi.
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: I'm going to try.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: To cost to build this in the backyard.
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: We have one.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: We literally have a barn.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: Shut up.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: With stalls.
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: You want.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: Pigs?
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: I want all of them. What do we got here?
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: What are you saying?
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I hear you.
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: I know your language. I got you at home, babes.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: I got you at home, babe.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Someone laid an egg.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: Oh, there's three eggs there.
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: How do they lay them when they're the same size?
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: Oh, you got a bunch.
• 2:22
  Speaker 5: That's a small chicken for a big egg. Did you
• 2:27
  Speaker 5: squirt that out your cooch?
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: Oh, that was you.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: Yes!
• 2:39
  Speaker 5: They're horny.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Look.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: Horny goats?
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: Is that fine?
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Or do you mean they're horny?
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Like, they have horns, so they're horny. I want to
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: go home. Let's go in there.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: I feel like these people haven't got far yet.
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: No.
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: Their ability to find their way through a maze is lacking.
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: Selena doesn't want me.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: To say this out loud.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: Because they might be listening.
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: A few moments later.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: We could have just walked in and walked out and
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: been like, conquered!
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: We should come up with this idea now when we're lost.
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: This part makes sense. I heard you!
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: Adam!
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Adam!
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: Hey, buddy! Yeah, Adam?
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: Just gotta keep going north.
• 3:46
  Speaker 5: You know, you could make really small houses from here.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: We could just stay.
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: There's plenty of corn to live off of.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: We could start a fire, even in the dry corn.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: Let's go this way.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Adam!
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Hello!
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: I took a shortcut.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: Wait, how'd you get here first?
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: Exactly, that was a long cut.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, he's been doing it the whole time.
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: It's this maze, it's made him crazy.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Adam, I can see you. Okay, what do you think
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: of this for a YouTube?
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: Okay, okay, it's a statue.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: This for the YouTube idea.
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: I forgot my camouflage.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: I'm doing this together now.
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: I don't want to do this. I want to be
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: your partner in crime. I want to be your partner
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: in life.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: We've been together for 15 years, Adam.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and we still haven't been able to do things
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: on our own. We need each other to help each
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: other because we're cleaning up.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: We do. We do!
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: I don't know, man.
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: 100,000 likes, and we trap Selena in the corn for
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: a night. We'll find some random farmer's corn. It'll be
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: more dangerous.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: You want that life insurance money, don't you, boo?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: What?
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: The picker just comes off. She's on to me.
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: It's tall. She's gone.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: I need you guys to leave me, because we've been
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: in here for 45 minutes.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: And we haven't found our way out. And all I
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: came here for was to pick some apples. So go.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Send a helicopter.
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: I'm good at getting out of here.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: You just say the word.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: No. I don't think you are. I want you to
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: get a helicopter. And I want them to send the
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: thing down.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: You can't land in here.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: And they're going to pick me up like.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: A giant claw machine. All you could get was a drone.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: That's not going to get us out of here.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: No.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: I am too fat for a drone. I need a
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: helicopter to claw machine my ass out of here. Okay?
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: Bye.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: But like we went really far that way. No? Like
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: we haven't been here before. I. I don't. But this
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: feels good.
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: I still say we go north.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: This feels good. Like, yes, I think we're getting somewhere.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Follow me. I am the woman with the direction.
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: I don't think so. You can't even follow Google Maps
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: on a good day.
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: You know what, Adam?
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: We don't need to look at everyone's weaknesses. It is
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: what it is.
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: Luckily, you don't have very many.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: I think you might like me.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: Am I cute?
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: You got a bug in your hair again. Hey, please.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: It's because you took me to corn.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: We could have just walked in and walked out and
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: been like, conquered. You know?
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: You should come up with this idea now when we're lost.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: We're not lost. We haven't... Here's the thing. We've been
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: on like a straight line. We haven't even been getting lost. Like, we're... Oh, shit. Yeah.
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: No, don't go that way.
• 6:26
  Speaker 5: The beginning is the end.
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: No, seriously.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: It's literally the cycle of life. The beginning is the end.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: You end and you come back again. Do you want
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: to be a cheater?
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: Do you want to cheat life like that?
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: This is the cycle of life.
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: You come, and then you go.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: And then you die, and then you're reborn.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: Well, you're supposed to go at the exit, not in
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: the enter.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: You know what? That depends on your sexuality.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: Wrong way.
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: Oh, she's not going to listen, folks.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, you know what?
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: I think you're opposite.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: Go this way.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, I just want this to be over.
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: Okay, then go through here.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: This way.
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: No.
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: This way.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: I just feel like we've been.
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: That's a dead bird.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a sign. It's an omen.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: It's like we got rotted corn, another omen.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: We're going to die in here.
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: We found the entrance. The exit. We failed miserably. Don't... No.
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: This is where we started. We didn't even make it
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: through the maze.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: No, there's no exit.
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: We made it.
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: Let's go down here and see.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: It's huge.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: We didn't even get halfway through it.
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: The exit's at the end down there.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Could you make it through the toddler maze?
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: We've got to go back in.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I don't want to go back in.
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: We're going back in.
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: I don't want to go back in.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Sign, it's an omen. Try it. Do this. There's an exit.
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: We beat the maze.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Wait.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: Wait, that's not right.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: Do you want to go back in? No.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Let's walk down here. Toddler maze.
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: Do you want to do that?
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: This is us. Check out that sign.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Let's do that. Okay. Here we go.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: This is more up high.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I'm going to win. Oh, yeah.
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: Look at this.
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: Even smaller islands.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for little toddler people. Okay.
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Adam, I didn't expect this to be legit.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: Are we, Adam?
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: Is this that stuff they talk about in Mexico? It's
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: like the mold on the corn. It's a delicacy. Try it.
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: Did this come in where it went out?
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: Toddler Maze, exit. We beat the Toddler Maze.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Wait.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: We beat the Toddler Maze.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Awesome.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: I can't. Can you floss?
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: I know not even to try.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: A few moments later.
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: Did you go take a poo before? Right there.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Part of hell. Let's go check it
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: out before I go in.
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: It's like a whole other dimension in there.
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: Okay, it's not bad. I'm fine.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Let's tip it over.
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: Steve-O style.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, don't.
• 9:33
  Speaker 5: Adam!
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: Hey Selena, can we try all the flavors?
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Try all my flavors? Why are there no apples on
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: the chicken?
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: You gotta keep going.
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: There's no apples on the chicken. Oh, here we go. Oh,
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: they're green.
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: It's because they're green.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: Can't fly.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: No.
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: You want to taste the farm, do you? Yeah.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Why do you want to try them?
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: I didn't get any.
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: It's good.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: Oh, there's a good one.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: That one.
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you see it.
• 10:11
  Speaker 5: Teamwork, teamwork.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: That's a nice apple.
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: It's a beautiful specimen.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: Just like you, babe.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: Thanks.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Just like you. Oh, it's a baby.
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: Oh, it's not a baby. It's a senior. It's a senior.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's soft.
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: We're going to leave you for the retirement home.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: These trees have clinical depression, clinical anxiety.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I can feel it. Yeah. Nice.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: Let's try a different tree for our next one.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Can we get to try one? You want to eat
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: this one?
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: You said we could.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: So this is not a grocery store.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Right. Right.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: It's not a Loblaws.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: It's not a Loblaws, it's a Tastemoss.
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: Or a Kroger's for you Americans. Or a Meyers.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: It's amazing.
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: You know, they have a grocery store in the States
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: called Meyers. But it's M-E-I-G-J-E-R-S.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: Oof.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: It's delicious.
• 11:05
  Speaker 5: Too.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's a good apple. That's a beautiful apple.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: Here's a nice specimen.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: That's a beautiful apple. You know what's worse than finding
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: a worm in your apple?
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: What?
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: Finding half a worm.
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: Oh, God.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Refreshing. It's different when you're here.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Like, when it's at home and it's on your counter,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: it's like, that's the last thing I want to eat.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: And then you're here and you're like, I will suck
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: it off that branch.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: You know, I have a friend who has an apple orchard. Yeah.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: And he said all his apples are yellow. What? I
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: was like, nah, man, that's bananas.
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: I feel like there's a bug on me. Is there
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: a bug on me here?
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: No, there's nothing there. Why didn't you ask your wife?
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: I was asking the people.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: That's a little late. I'm going to see this in
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: like half a month.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: You got me there.
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: Oh, that apple.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: That one right there.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: Oh, way in there? Yeah.
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: Are you serious?
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Get it for me.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: Things I do for my wife.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: If they wanted to, they would.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: Bite it like a biter. Yeah, it's hard.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: Golden delicious. You know what else is golden delicious? What?
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Cake. Cake farms.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Adam, we should open a cake farm.
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: Cake farm?
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah. We don't farm cakes. Shut up, we can just
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: do- It's called a bakery, Selena.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: They gloomed trees in packages the bugs can't get in.
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: Oh, okay.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: You'd come, don't lie. Yeah, it's so good.
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: Well, I don't know. Why did the chicken cross the
• 12:55
  Speaker 5: road halfway?
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: She wanted to lay it on the line. Why'd the
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: chicken cross the road?
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: In the mud and cross the road again.
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: Well, why did he do all that? Because he was
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: a dirty double crosser. Hey, why didn't the chicken skeleton
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: cross the road?
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road?
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: Because he didn't have enough gut.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: Alright guys, I hope you enjoyed our apple picking adventure.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: I feel thoroughly farmtastic. Adam can finally remove his flannel,
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: but honestly.
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: I've ate this many apples, minimum.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: I've just paid for another bag because I felt guilty.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: We can do that if we need to.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Alright, until next time. Where do you want me to
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: go adventure? Because I like doing things, so... Until next time.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Stay weird. Whoa. You look like an apple.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: Oh, don't follow me.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit.
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: I follow the leader. You're my husband. Who was that? Adam,
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: I was fully committed.