Latest / Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse / Retiring TO Something, Not Just FROM Something

Transcript

Retiring TO Something, Not Just FROM Something · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Is there a major life transition benching you?
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I know you may be asking what's next?
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: What's my purpose?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Because I've asked those too.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Hi, welcome back.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: You're listening to episode 96 of the Start your Comeback podcast.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: The last few weeks, we've been talking about loyalty, how to know when it's time to leave a job or a relationship that no longer is working.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Today we're tackling another big one how do you know it's time to retire?
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: And let me tell you, retirement isn't as simple as hey, let's pick a date and stop working.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: There's a whole emotional ballgame attached to this decision, especially if you've been at your job for a long time.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Leaving is never easy.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we get to go out on our own terms, exactly the way we dreamed, and sometimes the decision is made for us.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Either way, you get benched.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: If you've been in your career a long time, you've likely built friendships, routines, a rhythm of life, and for many of us, that job becomes part of who we are.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: And when that's taken away, or when we choose to step away, there's a big identity shift that takes place.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I faced this myself when I retired from coaching tennis at the end of 2023.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Over 20 years as a coach.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Coaching was a part of my DNA and when I stopped, I had to ask myself who am I now?
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: But you know what I realized?
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I realized I was okay because I had already started filling my life with new things that mattered.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: That's the key.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: You can't just retire from something.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: You need to retire to something.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I've got 10 questions to ask before you ride off into the sunset.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: So here we go.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Number one are you burned out?
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Do you dread going to work every single day?
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Has the passion left the building?
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Number two do you feel fulfilled?
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Are you just going through the motions?
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: For example, I love teaching because it lights me up when a student gets it.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: That matters.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: I feel fulfilled in that.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Number three are you craving adventure?
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Do you want to travel more?
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Do you want time with your grandkids or do you want to try new experiences?
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Number four finances.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Do you have enough to retire?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: And no, none of us ever feels totally ready here.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Are you debt free?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Are your kids financially independent.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Number five how's your health, your physical health?
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: What about insurance?
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: What's your plan If you lose insurance?
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: How are you going to cover those medical expenses?
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Number six healthcare.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Have you run the numbers for you and your spouse, if you're married?
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Number seven maybe you have.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Technology fatigue has trying to keep up with new systems and processes become overwhelming.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: It may be a reason to retire.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Number eight do you feel like life is passing you by?
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Are there trips, hobbies or family events you keep missing?
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Number nine has your job passed you by?
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Has it changed so much that you no longer feel capable or interested?
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: And number 10, what's your plan for retirement?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: A bucket list isn't just cute, it's essential.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: How will you fill your days with purpose?
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: When you take the time to answer these honestly, you'll get a clearer picture of whether you're truly ready to retire or whether something else needs to change first.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Now let's talk about the emotional toll, because this, right here, is where people get blindsided.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Retirement will stir up feelings you may not see coming.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: You could have excitement and anticipation.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: The thought of hobbies and freedom and travel is energizing to you.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: There could be a ton of relief.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: No more office drama, deadlines or stress.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: There could be apprehension and worry have I done enough?
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Will I run out of money?
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: And then maybe there's a sense of loss and grief.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: You're not just leaving a job, you're leaving a rhythm, a team and your purpose.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Loneliness.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Without those work friends, the silence can feel heavy.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: And finally, what about the fear of the unknown?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Because sometimes change is hard, even when it's good change, you still don't know necessarily what's ahead.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I talk about this in my new book, start your Comeback, which comes out in October.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Go ahead and mark your calendar.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Retirement isn't just a financial decision.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: It's a transition, one of the biggest transitions of your life, and transitions, if you've been with me for any length of time, come in phases.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: You have to navigate each one.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: I'm going to give you some straight talk right here.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Don't retire alone in your head.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: If you're feeling anxious, talk to someone a coach, a counselor, a trusted mentor, someone who will help you sort through all the emotions that come with this big shift.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: And while you're at it, don't just stop doing things.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Start doing things that will keep you connected and give you a new purpose Volunteer, be a mentor, take a class, travel, build a group around you that keeps you engaged, because here's what I know the people who retire well are the ones who keep growing.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: They keep learning and they keep connecting.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I'll never forget the first morning I didn't have tennis practice.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I sat there with my coffee, quiet house, and thought well, now what?
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: What I didn't realize is that the now, what is where the magic is, because you get to decide what's next.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: You get to call new plays, just like I teach in my coaching and my book.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: And when you can see retirement not as the end but as the beginning of a new chapter, you start to feel the excitement outweigh the fear.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: So here's what I want you to do this week.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: I want you to answer those 10 questions, but I want you to be brutally honest with yourselves.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: They're important questions to ask.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Number two, I want you to start a list titled what's next?
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: What do you want to retire, to Make it specific.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: And finally, the third thing is I want you to talk to someone.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Don't make this decision in isolation.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Maybe you want to talk to your spouse, maybe you want to try therapy, a mentor, a coach.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Just don't do it alone.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Retirement isn't ending, it's just a pivot, because you still have a purpose.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Your purpose doesn't end when you retire.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: You've been faithful, you've given your time and talent and now it's time to make sure the next season of your life is every bit as meaningful.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: You can do this.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: It's your life.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Step into it and let me remind you Start your Comeback.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: My new book is coming this October.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: It's all about building a game plan when life throws you a transition, just like retirement.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I'll give you practical steps to move from shock through limbo and back into the game of life with purpose and passion, into the game of life with purpose and passion.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: If you want to get on the list for pre-order, then go to my website and sign up at Tony Thrash, where you'll get all of the news and announcements coming to you soon.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Until next time, keep showing up and remember the bench is no place to stay.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Keep showing up and remember the bench is no place to stay.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next time.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Until next week, remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you.