Latest / Shed Talk with Kevin Halliday / Jayme Minor on Sobriety | Owner of MAXgreen Windows | Shed Talk with Kevin Halliday Ep. #114

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Jayme Minor on Sobriety | Owner of MAXgreen Windows | Shed Talk with Kevin Halliday Ep. #114 · Shed Talk with Kevin Halliday

• [Kevin] I got to do the click on it. All [Guest] right here we go. All [Kevin] All right today on Shed Talk I've got Jayme Minor in the shed today with me. [Kevin] Jayme owns MAXgreen Windows, Siding and Roofing and he spent his career helping people protect their homes, improve their lives, and let more light in to places that matter the most. [Kevin] But today we're not going to be talking about windows. It's all about what men have behind those windows because you know what when you're in the window industry it's clear but what's on the back side of those windows we see right through it. [Kevin] So today we're gonna be talking about business, pressure, leadership, and things that'll set you apart and mental health and what it takes to live a life that keeps pushing [Kevin] back. You know what Jayme welcome to Shed Talk and thanks for being here. [Kevin] need [Guest] It's my pleasure. Happy to always be on a show with you. [Kevin] This is great. Well you know what Jayme the first time we ever met was I actually got to do a talk at one of your events that you were doing. And what did you call that? [Guest] That's right. [Guest] It was Authentic Sales Mastery. [Kevin] And then why did you get into that? [Guest] Why did we get into that one? [Kevin] Because you're in the window business. [Guest] Yeah, that was a company to kind of have fun with and give back. You know, me and my business partner learned so much through sales throughout the year, or throughout our years. And a lot of it was learning how to do things. And I think that's what we're going to be talking about today. [Guest] We're going to be talking about how to do business authentically, the real version of yourself. [Guest] And given what we both went through personally, we feel that we've really tapped that. So, we want to show other people in our industry, especially the construction industry, [Guest] it's okay to be real. It's okay to be genuine. And in turn, that's actually going to generate you a lot more revenue. So, that one's kind of like a passion project, a way to give back, and [Guest] also gives me a chance to sing and dance on stage, which I don't mind doing. [Guest] not [Kevin] at all which is amazing you just mentioned about integrity you didn't say the word integrity but it came back to being your authentic self okay what does that really mean to people because [Guest] Yeah. [Kevin] when you talk about sales and people are going into sales okay what does being authentic mean [Guest] Authentic is like, it's a tough one, because some people may think they're being authentic, or have an understanding of what does that feel like. To me, it comes with experience. And [Guest] it's also coming with real raw lived experience of understanding when you weren't being the real version of yourself. [Guest] My personal side to that was, I had to be the craziest, wildest, most entertaining person [Guest] all day, every day. And that was in sales. you know i'm sure you've [Guest] I'm sure you've taken customers to a Flames game. [Guest] And we took customers to Flames games. Well, I play the trumpet at the Flames games. And I would entertain the customers. But I would get drunk, I would probably use drugs. And I could not walk [Guest] into there as the real version of me. It had to be the inebriated, numb version of Jamie, so that he [Guest] i'd [Guest] could properly entertain and land the sale, because he was too scared to do it any other way. [Kevin] when did you realize that that was an issue [Guest] um [Guest] Probably, I would say, early 30s, early 30s, late 20s is when things started to creep. You know, where it was like, okay, I was hung over more. [Guest] um i was [Guest] I was struggling with a lot of anxiety. [Guest] things i was struggling with a lot [Guest] I was starting to get depressed. I was very stressed, like toxic stress. You know, when you first experience any of those things for the first time as a young man who is successful, [Guest] they're terrifying. You know, toxic stress. If someone would have told me back then, they'd be [Guest] and that's [Guest] like, this is toxic. You're not just stressed. You think this is the end of the world. [Guest] And that's when [Guest] I started to notice things. And then my group of friends, families, customers started to notice. But I fought tooth and nail not to give up for years. It took a long time for me to figure that [Guest] well let's [Guest] out. [Kevin] let's deep dive that for a second because a lot of people are watching this right now and you mentioned the word toxic stress and we assume people oh it's toxic stress it's really hard on me and this is what it [Kevin] really hard on me. Okay, I'm going to commit suicide. [Kevin] is okay i'm gonna commit suicide but what is that deep dark toxic what is toxic stress [Guest] So to me, it's something that you have to live through the experience and then have it kind of explained to you to maybe have it pointed out. But I'll give you an example. Like, say you're [Guest] driving to work, and you're going to be five minutes late. [Guest] you get [Guest] And you're like, oh, no, this isn't good. You get a little panicked, but you go to work. Toxic stress would be, I'm going to lose my job. I'm going to get fired. Everybody's going to stare at me. Oh, my God, this is so horrible. [Guest] Maybe I just won't show up. Maybe I'll call in sick, you know, completely catastrophize the situation, right? That's when it's toxic, when it's so bad that you're doing completely irrational [Guest] things and thoughts to manage. So it's a real big mix of a lot of different things. But when I had that explained to me from my doctor and my therapist, of you need to eliminate any toxic [Guest] so how [Guest] stress. That's when I realized I could be, you know, much freer and more real to, you know, [Guest] did you. [Kevin] So how did you? Yeah. [Kevin] you release the toxic stress all of a sudden because can you have control over that all of a sudden using that same example okay [Kevin] i'm five minutes late versus oh my gosh i'm gonna lose my job i'm not even gonna go in [Kevin] Yeah. [Kevin] going to go in. Yeah. [Kevin] how do you control that narrative [Guest] Okay. [Kevin] from your experience [Guest] First of all, I understand what I can control and what I can't. So for example, once I'm rushed with, say, a feeling of anxiety, nervousness, or toxic stress, I can recognize it now. So I feel my body, [Guest] I feel the heat in my face, I feel my hands clenching, the breathing going. [Guest] And I understand, I'm like, okay, this is going to last for about 30 seconds to a minute. [Guest] do this i'm gonna be able do this i'm gonna be able to do this i'm gonna be able to do this i'm gonna be able to do this [Guest] That's how long an emotion can last. Sometimes it's even less. So I understand that my logical brain right away goes, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, ride it out. Don't run away from this feeling. [Guest] Okay. And I feel it. I go, okay, let's feel this. What are you so worried about? What's going to happen? [Guest] do this [Guest] Let's go through it. And then my next step after kind of calming myself down with like grounding techniques and breathing [Guest] grieving is I will actually take my thoughts and make them ridiculous. So let's, let's take the late for work example. Well, I'm going to show up late for work. The president's going to be there and he's going [Guest] he's going to have a whip so what are you doing i'm gonna show him a little bit of it i'm gonna show [Guest] to have a whip and he's going to whip me in front of everybody there, like back in the day. And I laugh at it. So what I've done is I've taken the anxiety and the stress and I've made it laughable. [Guest] Like, wait, this is, this is so ridiculous that you're ever going to think that's going to happen. And then that, that works for me. And I've, I've, I've used it with other people. I'm like, let's, [Guest] let's look, let's look at what you're thinking and how ridiculous it sounds. Now, sometimes things cannot be taken in that way. And you have to acknowledge, okay, this is terrifying. [Guest] Let's start looking for solutions. [Guest] And that's where I'd start to talk to people. I would let my, my wife know I'd let my business partner know. And then last case I would, I would book a [Guest] emergency appointment with my therapist. So I have kind of like all these tools and techniques that [Guest] things [Guest] I've learned over time to manage and handle. But the biggest thing is understanding why they're happening. As soon as we can get logic to take over emotion and irrational fear, you should be good. [Kevin] so [Kevin] you also mentioned there the 30 seconds of feeling that feelings only last 30 seconds and i wonder how many people actually you make it sound easy oh it's it only that [Kevin] feeling only lasts 30 seconds would you ever use that as a test guys take that feeling [Kevin] Yeah. [Kevin] and put it onto your watch and count it [Guest] It's, it's incredible. I've, um, I've done that myself. My therapist taught me how to do it. And then I've worked with like, you know, um, my fiance, I've, I've worked with a few of my employees that are open to it too. And the thing is, is you, you, you have to really feel that [Guest] feeling. Okay. I'm going to really push that back. [Guest] yeah because [Guest] Cause avoiding a feeling, numbing it or pushing it away is momentarily going to give you relief. [Guest] You need to feel it first. And then you say, okay, I only have to feel it for 30 seconds to a minute. That's not so scary. But the next confusing part is, but I'm still thinking about it. Those are [Guest] two different things. The feeling that you're getting of your emotion is a sensation throughout your whole body. But when we started to, [Guest] and revisit it, that's the part where we can actually really take control, right? [Guest] So let's say you and me decide to have a negative thought together. This show is going to suck. No, [Guest] need to [Guest] talk to them [Guest] one's going to watch it. I'm dressed way too ridiculous. You're too happy. No, one's going to believe it. And we just sit there and we talk about that for the next half an hour. [Guest] Well, we're going to leave the room thinking that. So why not flip that and think positive instead? [Guest] This show is going to be amazing. I love your smile. I love my clothes. We're entertaining. And you can use that in your life. [Guest] Like a lot of people don't understand. You can change negative with positivity. [Guest] It's like, but you have to really focus on it. You have to sit there and say it over and over and over. And a lot of people don't believe it is why they don't do it. It's hard. It's hard to, especially self -belief, [Guest] confidence. I'm sure you know, it's not easy to get. [Kevin] and we have to practice it every day because you don't just all of a sudden you have it oh here we are i've got it out you man you've got everything together you've had it together your whole life no we had to work on it every single day [Guest] Constantly. And it's constant upkeep and it's constant work. But I do that with a lot of people that I talk to too, is I say, hey, when's the last time you looked in the mirror and looked yourself in the eye and said, I love you. I think you're amazing. [Guest] When's the last time you've done that? [Kevin] do that every morning because i visualize my day because the first thing before i get up i'll lay in bed [Kevin] and then all of a sudden i'll say all right what's the day gonna look like oh it's gonna be amazing it's absolutely gonna be wonderful it's gonna be raining outside it's gonna be this because it was raining all the time you know but it's gonna be beautiful but what i'm [Kevin] What I'm going to do, I'm going to change my narrative for the day. [Kevin] gonna do is i'm gonna drive a different path to work i'm gonna go the other way i'm gonna make groundhog day not groundhog day because it's the same day over and over but say yeah i'm ready [Kevin] it a groundhog day, not groundhog, [Kevin] oh man I look great I feel good who am I going to change today that one smile that one person [Kevin] That one smile, that one person. And all of a sudden, [Kevin] then all of a sudden boy you can never have a negative thought now the role playing when you said that I do that all the time and it's interesting because I get that anxiety that same thought, well, the guy's not paying me. [Kevin] same thought about a guy's not paying me his bills for whatever reason or something happened so I dramatize it I make it over the top and go yeah okay there I role played it it's over it's done all right now let's get back to work so it's it's one of those things but to say for sure [Kevin] but not a lot of people do and it's it's easier to say than do [Guest] Yeah, because you've got to look at, we don't know how much negative thoughts each individual has. You don't. [Guest] Even if they tell you, they don't necessarily know, right? It's a subconscious thought, and it's a conscious thought, right? [Guest] So that's where that rewiring really needs to happen, right? [Guest] I'll give you a good example of subconscious thoughts that need to be changed. I'm going to go back to the Calgary Flames trumpet, okay? [Guest] It's because I think a lot of viewers will get that feeling. So let's say I go into the Saddle Dome to play the trumpet. [Guest] Sober. I don't drink. I don't do drugs anymore. But I've done that trumpet guy thing from 2004 to eight years ago, whatever that is. Drunk. [Guest] So when I step into there sober, I'm telling myself, you're okay. [Guest] You're safe. You can do this. You have an exit plan. And we're all right. The subconscious is screaming the whole time. And I didn't realize that. Because I woke up the next day, I thought I felt hungover. [Guest] I felt exhausted. I felt completely drained. [Guest] And I went, well, I didn't drink. I was happy. I was fun. I played the trumpet. But my subconscious was going alarm bells everywhere. [Guest] You used to drink here. You used to do drugs here. You've been kicked out of this place. [Guest] Can you do this without all of that? So I had to recognize that just because I was in control of my present moment and my conscious state, the subconscious... [Guest] The subconscious is the deep stuff that needs to be worked on. And that's where you can get into the heel there or [Guest] real therapy, like EMDR or ART, where they actually hypnotize you, in a sense. [Guest] And those are big things that I push to people that are really looking onto that next level of saying, well, [Guest] I've pushed the people that are [Guest] how do I do that, Jamie? How do I speak positively? How do I just change my mindset? [Guest] I say, you need professional guidance, right? Not everybody's going to just find this. Some people do. But the techniques that they have now [Guest] are incredible. I've seen people that have a traumatic past and have them completely flip the script in their brain so that when a trigger comes, it doesn't even affect them at all in two [Guest] hour session. that [Kevin] quick so here [Kevin] Yeah. [Kevin] So here you are as a young drinking drugs everything people are telling you you're little and you're successful okay doing well and everything's there and then that aha moment that [Kevin] Doing well. [Kevin] one person that one call because you wouldn't believe it are you kidding I'm the nicest guy [Kevin] not making this down your words. Because your [Kevin] in the world because you're friends you have a thousand of them okay you got lots of friends you're at the bar you're drinking you got lots of money because you're you're at the bar like literally you'd be at Dusty's upstairs there or Dutton's [Guest] I think it was Dutton's at the [Kevin] time yeah and you wouldn't even make the second period because you'd be sitting there drinking and and the reason why I know this is because that was me [Guest] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had season tickets. [Kevin] season tickets there and the thing is what we would do is we would see we had great the greatest seats there whatever they cost but we wouldn't even make it to the game we'd sit there and drink [Guest] Oh, [Kevin] no. Oh, [Guest] yeah. You'd be in the bar. Or I had to drink so much before I even walked into the [Guest] it was just [Guest] building. Like, I would drink half a bottle of rum before I even left my house. [Guest] And it was just crazy, though, like, how that was socially accepted, too. Like, I'm grateful for this new generation of understanding. No. [Guest] You don't need to do that. My generation was absolutely do that. It wasn't even frowned upon by our parents. It wasn't. It was laughed off. And it was laughed off in the corporate [Guest] world. I would roll into work completely drunk still from the night before and get a slap on my back for being strong enough to show up and work through the hangover. And then I entertain [Guest] entered but [Guest] customers. But how quickly could I manipulate? [Guest] could I and we [Guest] I would come in. I'd drink by myself the night before. [Guest] Oh, you smell like booze. Oh, yeah. I was out with the customers. It's [Guest] Tuesday. What? [Kevin] yeah we used to we'd sit there and people say go for a social we'd have an event and the thing is it wouldn't have one drink or like a social drink I said no I get no I'm here [Kevin] one. I didn't care for one reason. Well, I'd get pissed. [Kevin] reason all and get pissed why would I waste time just to have a social drink I'm gonna get hammered up here love why waste a good drunk [Guest] Yeah. Well, exactly. Like, lather it up. And, you know, that's that's the one. thing I've I'm I'm really [Guest] I'm really impressed with myself for jumping back into that construction community and being as open as I am with my sobriety and my sales technique with it. [Guest] I can meet customers now for coffee and [Guest] have a deeper connection with them in 15 minutes than I would have with a [Guest] can meet them in 15 minutes and I can meet them in 15 minutes [Guest] whole night out with them drinking or 10 hours on the golf course drinking because I'm open and vulnerable and real. And everybody actually connects to it. Everybody does. You just don't [Guest] think they will. Right. And that's the thing that I love about this community in this space [Guest] is every single human being on planet Earth wants to be kind and does want to help one another [Guest] deep down. And they've also all dealt with themselves or know someone in their close circle that has dealt with. [Guest] Addiction or mental health struggles. So if you take it into a business perspective now and you say, well, I'm in sales and I need to connect with my customer, what is it's [Guest] what is one thing that I can connect with them with? Guaranteed real talk. [Guest] It's guaranteed. It's not fishing. It's not sports. It's not drinking. [Guest] It's that because everybody's experienced it. And you'd be surprised how quickly that forms a bond with someone. [Guest] It's also really good for [Guest] calming down situations with customers. I just had a customer today completely upset me. [Guest] Essentially, without really saying it was saying I was lying to him. [Guest] And that is a massive trigger for me. Past Jamie was a liar. [Guest] Drunk Jamie was a liar. Right. [Kevin] yeah [Guest] Don't lie now. Or if I if I do, I go, whoa, I didn't tell the truth there. I'm so sorry. But I immediately got triggered and I went, [Guest] was like oh my god I'm going to [Guest] really upset. I said, excuse me. I'm like, are you are you calling me a liar? [Guest] And basically agreed to it. And I said, OK, this has became way too heated. [Guest] That is one thing that I will not tolerate. And I'm going to end the conversation. And I hung up. [Guest] So why did I do that? [Guest] Because I knew I was in my moment. I had the body, the heat, the chills. I raised my voice and I'm ready to tell this guy off. Instead, I ended the conversation. [Guest] I messaged my business partner call me down and then I went [Guest] manager, calmed me down. And then I went to our new general manager and said, hey, you got to call this guy. By the way, you can be completely real and honest with them and say you triggered Jamie. [Guest] Jamie's past is he was an alcoholic and he lied for many, many years. So you calling him a liar just now, even if you didn't outright say it, set him off. [Guest] Now, what will happen with them? I don't [Kevin] that and it's it you know what it's interesting right there because I'm I'm I'm thinking and I'm role -playing you like my listeners right now are thinking this and they're putting themselves into your shoes here you are and then all of a sudden they they know [Kevin] that feeling that triggered feeling whatever that is to somebody out there and then all of a sudden the switch was going how do you get into it you got your guys to do it then all of a sudden you said no be honest understanding and controlling the narrative be honest here's who I am it [Kevin] triggered me it's okay you guys triggered Jamie he was an alcoholic he was this and then that customer's looking is going oh [Guest] yeah I'm sorry yeah [Guest] Yeah. I can see why he got so upset. [Kevin] I'm sorry to hear that and wow does that ever have an impact and all of a sudden I can see that I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar I'm a liar [Kevin] why he got so upset. I'm sorry to hear sorry to hear that. that in the visualization where a lot of people you just did a role play and how the other person would act and I was just thinking well I wonder how he's going to get out of it until you said that and the truth came out that's power [Guest] Yeah. And you have to do it. You have to. And I'm big on that in everywhere, right? With anybody that you talk to or work with or have any type of communication, tiny relationships, let's call them, [Guest] right? Tiny relationships everywhere. And you're going to have confrontations. You're going to have of heated moments and uncomfortable moments the best thing to do is know when you need to step [Guest] away like i did there like my general manager was great too he said man you did the right thing how you just explained you were heated and that it had to end right because i you know i could [Guest] the right thing [Guest] have you know what old jamie would have done i'm the fucking part owner of max green and i was going to give you a deal go buy your door somewhere else click [Guest] gonna give you a deal [Guest] but [Guest] what does that do you know what that did that was anger and anger is more comfortable than feeling sad about being brought into my past about being a liar that's a that's an escape i want that's quick get out of it make [Guest] them feel like crap i feel good for five seconds and then i feel like shit later and i probably can't restore that relationship [Kevin] no i'm controlling the narrative and making sure that because your integrity is in line right now because today and where you're going to be in five years from now is exactly the same what do you get to do the next part so yeah [Guest] so that was that was a fun one today it's kind of [Guest] but [Guest] you that happened just before but you know i it very rare do i get heightened like that it'll be when something pokes and prods at what i used to be right and and that that's the one that will get [Guest] oh for [Guest] me because i've healed from it but there's still a lot there like you know i was i was like that for years right i've got more years being that way than i do not so i always have to respect that [Guest] fact right and i think another big thing that's important for people to hear is it's okay to walk away and it's okay to protect your peace [Guest] you know for example if this person fights more pushes back and does not become reasonable i will part with it [Guest] i will part ways right there's a fine line to opening up being vulnerable stating your case [Guest] stay in [Guest] and your truth and what really happened and giving up and giving up and giving up and giving up and [Guest] it like [Guest] giving it you know like i that's a big thing i've learned in my sobriety is because you're so clear i've [Guest] clear that you can see everything now you know i've got relationships that i don't have anymore because i was like oh i'm i'm never going to change that person no [Guest] matter what i try to do [Guest] until they make a decision to get out of that i will not change them [Guest] so as sad as it may be i need to step away so [Kevin] with everything that you've been doing now you're seeing clearer because now the fog's gone because a lot of people will stop drinking and they they stop drinking they'll stop for a day two days and they [Kevin] go back to it that's fine just one day at a time just going through that when does the fog lift [Guest] well there's two types of fogs so there's just the fog from the actual physical effects okay depending on how much you drink like five days till all that's gone and i would say like [Guest] three months until you really feel all the physical change from no more alcohol now the fog [Guest] old [Guest] of your own psyche or consciousness that depends on the work that you put in like i've seen a lot of dry drunks they're sober they're not happy so that's where [Guest] it's it's it's the pieces of trauma that need to be healed [Kevin] let's go back and to that dry drugs [Guest] dry drunks learned it in aa [Kevin] yeah oh really okay [Guest] yeah they would be like they would call them they'd say i'm a dry drunk yeah in i got sober but i'm not happy about it and i'm i haven't done my steps i haven't worked through my healing [Kevin] as [Guest] i haven't made amends i'm sober but i'm still a miserable piece of so [Kevin] during this whole stage transition over or even today yeah what's the hardest thing that you have to go through [Guest] on a daily basis sure um i would say the hardest thing that i have to go through is probably um [Guest] that i'm not happy i'm not happy i'm not happy i'm not happy i'm not [Guest] happy i'm not happy i'm not happy i'm not happy i'm not happy i'm not happy i'm not happy i'm not happy [Guest] try and try not to overdo things i would say is is would be a big struggle that i have i try to do too much all the time [Guest] i have so much more free time so much more free energy so i've really learned to be patient [Guest] and then finding that balance of too much too little not enough staying in that middle grounded zone is always a struggle but i i work hard at it [Guest] so [Kevin] you take yourself here you are playing the trumpet here at at a flames game obviously [Kevin] trumpet yeah yeah yeah did that then all of a sudden [Kevin] you played it everywhere you're in music yeah you did that [Kevin] then all of a sudden you're doing your sales course here. Okay. [Kevin] Over the top. Okay. Cause I've been there. It's over the top. It is like powerful. Okay. You're in the moment. Everyone's there and they all talk at the level of, of energy from zero to hero automatically. [Kevin] What's that transition point drunk Jamie back then and transition to sober Jamie now. Okay. And the balance in between there, [Kevin] which one is truly you? Like, yes, you were drunk. You got there. Would you say you were another 10 times level louder that, Oh yeah. [Kevin] And then here, this is truly you obviously. And then, and then being social and all there, do you have to cap yourself here? [Kevin] oh [Guest] 100 100 and i've learned that um a great example would be my uh singing coach [Guest] um and performance coach right so i'm practicing songs that i've written and recorded and released [Guest] performing them in front of a crowd is completely different so she said you need to be three out of 10. [Guest] nothing more because she says your 10 out of 10 is ridiculous your three out of 10 is everybody [Guest] You're three out of [Guest] else's 10 so i go in my mind and i go three out of 10 okay [Kevin] you visualize that, [Kevin] yep [Guest] but i and i slip up to 10 lots and i bring it back down man right especially when you get me a crowd going and people energizing me [Guest] like unstoppable but i had to do this because my voice would burn out my breathing my technique like singing my voice would burn out my breathing my technique like singing my voice would burn out it's, [Guest] unbelievably hard it is the most vulnerable thing you can do in front like i'm [Guest] people. I'm [Guest] not even kidding you man it's terrifying sober too ah [Guest] so you gotta feel it all you know like riding a bike you fall when you ride a bike you're a kid you get back up well you have to sound like shit in front of people singing to [Guest] you're getting better. [Guest] get better and you know it like you up there now i did not hit that note they all know i didn't hit that note but i tried it and i maybe i'll get it next time so that three out of ten allowed me to [Guest] regulate myself so that i could sing properly i could engage with the crowd properly i could dance i could switch to the trumpet i could switch to rapping it's a lot so if i didn't manage that [Guest] and i had 10 songs to do third song in i'm done done [Guest] totally [Guest] burnt out [Kevin] so [Kevin] makes sense. [Guest] it was necessary [Guest] and yeah like that event that you were at i lost my voice the next day [Guest] Oh, [Kevin] totally believe yeah [Kevin] that. [Guest] because i'm talking to everybody i'm speaking i'm singing i'm rapping i'm trumpet playing and i went crazy i didn't warm up you probably got me all excited i probably went to nine out of ten i'm [Guest] Even better, [Guest] gonna blame you [Guest] which is good. Just [Kevin] trust me because all of a sudden, and the thing about it is when you're with like -minded guys and you're together, then all of a sudden that energy just goes right here. [Kevin] that was the thing [Kevin] And it's like, man, I love living in this breathing and it's all there because the law of [Kevin] I'm living in this great thing. [Kevin] attraction, we want to be with guys that inspire and grow and keep us going and positive. And, and we get to grow 10 more times, especially when you're not drinking sobriety. [Kevin] It's a ride. And I was like, I always use this saying, you don't know you're in jail until you break out. And it's like, Whoa, what's going on here? I feel great. [Kevin] I'm taking this to next. I'm going to, I'm going to turn it to 11, [Kevin] Oh, yeah. [Kevin] whatever that looks like. [Kevin] So the question, so, so here's where it comes into play is that here you, here you are, [Kevin] you're doing these talks, [Kevin] but I don't, a lot of people know this, but they don't. I want to, I want to kind of dabble a little bit on this is your videos. Yeah. And it's so funny. And I laughed, I saw this video of you doing Jamie here. I'm a rapper. [Kevin] I'm the rapper here. It is. See me here. Support me. I, [Kevin] I don't even remember. the thing. And I, and all I could think was weird. L .A. [Kevin] L Yankovic is this a spoof way back in the day. [Kevin] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. [Kevin] And then I saw it. And then I realized I knew you. Yeah. And I'm going, no way. [Kevin] And I watched it and I'm going, you [Kevin] if he could do this, [Kevin] you could do anything like you and people don't realize. And then it happened again. And it happened again. It wasn't just one video you did. It [Kevin] It's two, three, four. And now it's one of those you have to watch. It's one of those like, Oh my gosh, if you can change your life and you can be whatever you want to be, [Kevin] You can do every one of these things. Jamie did it. Yeah. And here's where it is. And doing these videos. You've got to talk a little bit about these videos. [Guest] Um, [Guest] So, like, essentially, when I got really comfortable with my story, [Guest] I wanted to make music. I love to make music. I made it in the past. I was always a singing, rapping, breakdancing, trumpet playing crazy guy. [Guest] break dancing, [Guest] But I always did it under the influence. Okay? [Guest] So, I made songs just about that. Right? Or my parody Weird Al songs, I'd be canceled if I put them out right now. [Guest] They, [Guest] we canceled it. [Guest] Like, they were so, you know, off the collar. Right? And so, now, I make real music. Right? [Guest] But it's very Jamie. I, [Guest] I'm a kid. [Guest] Okay? [Guest] I, When I sing and I rap, I sound kind of like a kid. That's my natural tone. [Guest] And you know how many, like, producers and writers and people I worked with, you need to sound breathier. You need to sound sexier and more raw. I'm like, no. [Guest] This is how I sound. [Guest] Well, there are people who are going to think you're a kid performer. Let them think that. I don't care. That's me. [Guest] That's me. And so, from years of posting and making the music, I finally found something that worked. [Guest] And from what I've heard is, just keep doing it. [Guest] So, it's kind of that bait. [Guest] You've got me with this little camera. No music. It looks like I'm singing and dancing. And it has a phrase, can this sober rapper go viral? [Guest] That's the phrase. [Guest] Or, he's 42 years old, 8 years sober, and he's the next Macklemore. And people are like, no, he's not. But I got to watch. [Guest] And then, it's a mix of my real music and my parodies. A song about a hot dog. [Guest] it's all good. [Guest] Why not? It's me, though. It's all me. It's all real. [Guest] And they've gone viral. Like, I've got some at, you know, 600 ,000 views, half a million views, [Guest] and thousands and thousands of comments and shares. [Guest] Now, what's been really interesting is [Guest] the hate that comes along with it. [Guest] So, you've got men. [Guest] 10 years old to 50. [Guest] 90 % of my viewers. [Guest] And a lot of them are making fun of me. [Guest] So, I'm going, okay, why? [Guest] Why are they making fun of me? I mean, it's an easy target. [Guest] this is, [Guest] I look ridiculous to the average person, which I disagree with. That's just me. [Guest] But I go, I'm like, okay, it's men. [Guest] Talking about sobriety. I'm being really open, honest, and vulnerable and real. [Guest] They don't have that. [Guest] What's the easier thing to do? [Guest] Is it to comment, I wish I had what you had? Can you teach me? Or what a loser. [Guest] What a loser is easier. [Guest] So, I write back to every single person that comments. [Guest] Most of the time, I'm very kind. Sometimes I'll call them out. [Guest] You know? [Guest] It's a free world. [Guest] But what I've actually seen is I've had people turn from the most vile hatred you could imagine to [Guest] a fan. [Guest] Okay? [Guest] I'll give you one really powerful example. [Guest] Yeah. [Guest] I get a direct message on Instagram from a young man. [Guest] Kill yourself. Right back. [Guest] Straight up. [Guest] I write back and I say, I'm sorry for whatever you're going through and how you're feeling to have sent me this message. [Guest] And I hope you're okay. [Guest] Later, I'm sorry, man. I was high on meth. I shouldn't have sent that. [Guest] I go, that's okay. [Guest] But you need help. [Guest] And we had quite a long conversation. Unfortunately, he didn't accept. He didn't accept my free counseling offer. [Guest] But he ended up following me. [Guest] So, that made me realize, I'm like, okay, I've got to keep going. [Guest] The more negativity I'm getting, essentially, the more positivity I'm promoting. [Guest] And I've had at least, oh, man. [Guest] Like, hundreds reach out. And at least in the 50s of, like, actually help them get some sobriety and get some counseling. [Guest] So, it's tough. It's not for the faint. It's not for the faint of heart, what I'm doing. [Guest] But I like it. [Kevin] And it's interesting because, because as you're telling that story, I'm thinking, well, I don't read my comments. I don't care. So I just keep going because that's who I am. And then all of a sudden here you are. You're not, [Kevin] you're not just, you don't ignore them. You're responding to them. You're asking a better question. And then all of a sudden you're making them thinking that you're making, you're making them accountable versus [Kevin] Yeah. just being there. [Kevin] Exactly. [Guest] Exactly. And then I've even pushed it even further. So, a lot of it is your music sucks. You can't sing. You can't dance. You look ridiculous. [Guest] So, I go, okay. [Guest] Let's flip the script. Help me. [Guest] Help me make a song. [Guest] Help me make it better. [Guest] And I've got these guys now, like, [Guest] writing lyrics to my song. [Guest] And sending me videos of them singing. [Guest] Like, completely vulnerable. [Guest] And saying thank you. [Guest] So, I'm like, oh, you just wanted to be included. [Guest] That's it. [Guest] Inclusion. No one likes to be left out. And it was hard, right? Because, like, there was a lot of criticism that was mixed with pure hatred. So, they got really blended together. Like, I did get upset. [Guest] I did one video where this one really upset a lot of people. And I said, I would have hated myself, too. [Guest] I said, nine years ago, when I was addicted to drugs and booze, fighting depression and anxiety, I would have hated this Jayme Minor. [Guest] Because he has everything I want and I can't get. [Guest] So, I understand. [Guest] Wow. [Guest] The real people came out and said, how dare you call us all addicts. We're just offering you criticism. And you're love bombing us. And, you know, using all these AI scripted responses. [Guest] So, I go, okay. [Guest] Fair. You know what? Fair. Fair, fair, fair. fair. [Guest] You're right. [Guest] Tell you what. [Guest] I hear your criticism. [Guest] Let's make it together. [Guest] And I... I've got... I've got four or five guys. Like, I'm telling you, like, Kevin, like, they were mean. [Guest] And now they're defending me. Someone says something mean, like, nope. [Guest] no, well, [Guest] Oh, I used to think the same. He's a great guy. [Guest] So, I go, okay. [Guest] Keep the kindness. [Guest] Keep pushing. [Guest] And I always fall back on this thought that the lady who ran the recovery center I went to said, you can either take your ability and make more money or you can help people. [Guest] Because she said, damn it, Jamie. You will be able to spread this word so big and so loud with your talents. [Guest] So, you decide. [Guest] I've done both. [Guest] Simple. [Kevin] Wow. [Kevin] Right? [Guest] Because you need... You need money to spread the word. This place... [Guest] Oh. [Kevin] yeah. [Kevin] We talk about freedom, freedom. [Kevin] Yeah. People say, Oh, Canada, the United States, we have the best freedom in the world. Well, you know what? You better make some money. [Guest] Yeah. [Kevin] Freedom costs. [Guest] It costs money. [Guest] And you've got a worst. Yeah. [Guest] And it's... The opportunity's there. [Guest] And I push a lot of that, too, with my... My... My sales coaching, you know, and some of these young men, too, is, you know, they'll come and say, well, help me. How do I... How do I get a Lamborghini? [Guest] How do I become a vice president of a company? [Guest] And I say, well, first, first, what are you passionate about? [Guest] What do you like? [Guest] And if that passion can be tied into a career, I say, that's what you do. [Guest] that's what you're looking for. [Guest] Go work somewhere you're passionate about. And I said, just work hard and learn as much as you can. [Guest] yes, [Guest] And work your way up. [Guest] That's it. [Guest] can. [Guest] That's not rocket science, okay? [Guest] You know? And ask for help constantly along the way. [Guest] Um, Because, I mean, you look at me, I wasn't passionate about building windows and doors in a factory at 18 years old. [Guest] the factory in [Guest] New York. [Guest] I had fun. [Guest] I made fun. People loved working the shift with me because I was entertaining as hell. [Guest] But as soon as someone said, you would be good in sales... of these, and boy, do they make a lot of money, I went, oh, I'm going to learn everything I need to learn. [Guest] Everything I need to learn about all this product, every system, every process from the bottom to the top, and now I own part of a window and door company. [Guest] right? [Guest] Right? [Kevin] Just like that. [Guest] Just like that. [Kevin] Yeah. Right. [Guest] But that's what I share with people. [Guest] I have [Guest] My passion was sales. [Guest] Man, I'm good at it. I'm really good at it. Like, I was just... They couldn't believe me. My first year, they were like, how did this young man, the youngest ever for the company, sell this many windows? Like, how did he do it? [Guest] And it's because I had no fear. [Guest] But that's the thing is, is as soon as someone can find a passion and tie it into career, [Guest] I don't think you can lose. [Guest] No, [Kevin] you can't. All right. So here we are. How do we get ahold of you? Now, [Kevin] get your Instagram. [Guest] Okay. So it's J -A -Y -M -E underscore M -I -N -E. I -N -O -R underscore. [Guest] Or you just Google Jayme Minor. [Guest] D. And it's Jamie minor at all. [Guest] It'll all pop up. I'm in the feed the proper way. [Kevin] Perfect because he's Google famous. So when you do that, [Kevin] Yeah. [Kevin] check it, you got to check out the instance. Instagram, you've got to go through it, like, and share stuff, [Kevin] all the stuff that Jamie's doing. Where else can they find? What other information do they need to know? My listeners, [Guest] Like, when you Google my name, you know, follow me for one. [Guest] My webpage also has a... Resource Centre. So if you are struggling in any way, you can reach out to me and I will offer anybody free counselling who reaches out to me. Okay. [Guest] And then listen to my music and go in and make some nice comments. I'd love to see a couple. All [Kevin] right all right jamie thank you for being on shed talk you know what guys like and share subscribe make sure you're listening to jamie make sure you know what make some comments on there and say you know what i heard you saw [Kevin] you on shed talk and uh maybe he'll put you on one of his videos anyway see you guys next time on shed talk and thanks jamie for being here [Guest] My pleasure. [Kevin] thank you [Kevin] We're done? [Guest] Look at that. [Guest] AI made it through. [Guest] Boom, boom.