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Kijuan Amey: Don't Focus On Why Me · Surviving-ISH Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: In every dark tunnel, there's a glimmer of hope.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: In every painful moment, there's a strength to heal.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: As I had mentioned, at the end of 2023, we have lost the title of Surviving Abuse and rebranded it into Surviving, because I felt like it was painting our show into a corner there.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: There are so many other traumas and survival stories out there that need to be heard.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is going to be one of the very first.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: That is completely different than what we've done before, and I've spent some time off the record speaking with the gentlemen we have on today, and I cannot wait for you all to meet and to hear his story.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: So, kiwan, please introduce yourself.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Kiwan.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Amieuski Hello, and I really appreciate you having me on Surviving Podcast Again.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: My name is Kiwan Amieuski Amieuski.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: I am an Air Force veteran, actually medically retired due to a motorcycle accident I suffered from in 2017.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: May 5th to be exact, what some might call Cinco de Mayo, I call my new life On a busy day like that.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: I actually had to go to work that day for the Air Force and I was involved in a motorcycle accident where a car pulled out in front which left me hospitalized for two months.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: But before I get into that, I'll tell you a little bit more about myself and where I am from.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Originally Durham, north Carolina.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: For some they know that as Durham, others know it as the Bull City because of the Durham Bulls Stadium.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: We definitely are proud of our team.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: We're proud of the heritage that comes out of Durham and I am glad to say, I was going to graduate from Southern High School and went on to Air Force to become an fly refueling specialist.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: Later on, I became a strongman.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: It was awesome.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Thanks, teacher.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: But yeah, like I said, I had a motorcycle accident that changed my life forever.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: But instead of allowing that tragedy to turn me upside down, I turned it into triumph.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: And here you find me on the podcast.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Even the little conversation we had before we hit record.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: I was just so inspired because you hear of people getting caught up in that dark place and you have spent the time that you've had risking your life daily serving and then coming across this tragedy that had nothing to do with the risk you were taking daily serving.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Did you feel that because you were risking your life on a almost daily basis serving that outside of the service you were invincible?
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: It's funny you would ask that question because I have thought of this you were invincible.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: It's funny you would ask that question because I have thought of this.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: So, serving as an in-flight refueling specialist, I flew on KC-135 shuttle.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: That plane was initially built in 17.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: And I thought personally that if anything were to happen to me, it was going to be because of how old that plane is.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: And I'm not joking here, I kid you not I used to call it my dinosaur.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I called it, my dinosaur.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: And to find out initially when I woke up in the hospital.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: So I accidentally had a medically induced coma on June the 6th.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: A fifth medically induced coma on June the 6th.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: When I woke up and I was just hearing voices because they were my mom, my friend they were in my room.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: I was trying to figure out the heck is going on here.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: Why is my mom in my room, Like it was just?
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: At first I was playing possum because I was like I don't know what they're doing.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Week, you know.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: I still had no clue what was going on, no clue.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: And then I hear them discussing some motorcycle accident.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: I'm like who's involved in a motorcycle accident?
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I'm the only one who has one in the family, hey.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: And so I try to say hey, who was involved in a motorcycle accident?
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Only to realize that my jaw had been broken and is now wired so I can't speak.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: But not only can I not speak, I can't even see so how long did it take you to realize that you couldn't see?
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Because you said you were playing possum, so I guess you had your eyes closed.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Okay, I still have my eyes closed at that time playing possum.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: And what happened was, you know, I got ready to peek over there and look at him and then I couldn't see anything.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: So I did one of those you know you do hard blink.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Try to reopen your eyes really wide.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I did and it didn't work, wow.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: But this is the moment that I was like, okay, something's not right.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: And that's when I tried to say something to them.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Of course they didn't see nor speak, because my jaw is broken and wired shut and at this point I hadn't even realized yet I couldn't smell.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: I hadn't realized that part yet because I was breathing just, and when you're breathing, okay, it doesn't bother you.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: The only time you realize that you can't smell is when somebody asks you about it, or you hear somebody cooking or something, and you're like man, I wish I could smell that when you're thinking about smelling something other than those things that would cause you to want to think or do a smell-minded thing, that's the only way you can think of it, because I can breathe just fine.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: So those were the I guess you say at that point three things that I could not do.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Of course, now you hear me talk, so my jaw is no longer broken and it does work.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: There are moments, like when I go to the dentist's office, that I do understand that it was broken, Because sometimes they want me to open it really wide and it hurts.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: A locked job?
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but again, going back to your original question, I thought I might have had more of an issue on that.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: No, don't get me wrong.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: I do know there are terrible drivers in the world.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: I do know that because I have rode beside them on the highways.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: But I tried to do everything I could and even on that day I was doing the same thing.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: I was not one of those riders.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I've never, ever, done a wheelie on a motorcycle.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: Now, I might have went just a little bit over the speed limit, just a little bit, just a little bit.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: For all the police.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I was not one of those people.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: I was not reckless.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Because I value my life yeah, and who better to you know, value your life than you?
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Because nobody else really cares you do.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, they might care, but they don't care what you do.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: So I would always post pictures of me with my bike or get ready to get on it or whatever, and put it on social media and people will say, hey, you make sure you're careful out there on that bike, but you always hear those what I call mom posts right and the thing about those posts.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: I would always respond and say it's not me to worry about, it's someone else.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: And, sure enough, I wake up in the hospital later because of someone else, so do you mind to tell us a little bit about how the accident occurred?
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, for those who might know the area of North Carolina, I was leaving from Jordan Lake, nice lake.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: I was leaving from there because I like to go to this one dock that I would sit at just to relax.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I'm faith-based, talk to God, just freedom, anytime.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: I wanted to relax, it's a nice area to sit, it's really quiet, that's where I would go.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Then I wanted to relax.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: It's a nice area to sit, it's really quiet, so that's where I would go.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: And then I was like, oh shoot, I gotta work.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: So I'm headed home and I'm not even speaking because I had enough time.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: I just knew I needed to grab my stuff.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: And lo and behold, there's not many intersections or long misery.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: So I could probably pinpoint where he came from, where he could have come from, because it was an intersection, because the police report told me that there were two cars behind him that saw me coming.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: So they don't know why he did.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: And, yes, it was a male In a Honda Accord.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: He pulls out from this intersection.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: I'm doing 55 miles.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: Now what people fail to realize about motorcycles is they do not stop.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: They have the smallest surface area of a tire which is supposed to break the rim.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: So what am I going to use this stuff?
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: And if I lock that front brake the bike might stop.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: But I'm not.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: I'm deploying now.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to go flying off the thing.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I tell everybody these stories.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I had three options.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I could have went right, it went into the trees.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: I could have went left and went into oncoming traffic or do like I did and hit.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: So I'm pretty sure I froze up and just hit it.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: But I honestly do not remember the accident and I thank God that I don't, because that could kill you.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Actually, your memories and traumas can kill you.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Had he been drinking?
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Was it purely an accident?
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Was it carelessness?
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: What do you write it as?
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: I'll be honest, I don't, and I personally did not want to.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: It was 2 pm, so this was broad daylight, 2 pm, when this accident and you're pulling out of somebody.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: So my thought is you were either on your phone, you just not paying attention at all.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: I pray you weren't drunk already.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: It was Cinco de Mayo, so it could have been a thing.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: It could have been a thing, but I just pray you weren't drunk already it was Cinco de Mayo, so it could have been a thing.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: It could have been a thing, but I just pray you were not.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Any of those does not make me feel.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: I don't care which one it is.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: None of them make me feel.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: And yes, he later on down the road, actually, when I was in the hospital, he wanted to come visit and I was like I'm sorry, say what?
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: And he my mom said yeah, the guy who hit you, he wants to come visit you.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: And I was like do you want me to go to jail?
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: She was like what do you mean?
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: I said if he comes in the room, I'm going to find my way out of the room and it's not going to be to shake his hand.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: You just changed my life forever.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: I don't want to talk to you, and that was the.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: That was where I was with it.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: I'm like, leave me alone, I am still recovering right now, and it's just one of those things I was in the hospital just now actually coming to.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: I didn't want anything to do with it, so that's where I was.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: I have no idea what he was, what influenced him to pull out of it.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: So what have you done with the resentment or anger, or whatever word you like to put with it toward him in this situation?
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: What have you done with that?
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: I am faith-based so I do pray.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: I go to a lot of things in my face in regard.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Secondly, I'm a drummer, so drums leave a lot of stress.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: You can take a lot out on those things.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: People wonder why I play the way I do.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: I'm like a whole different player now.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: I play so many different paradiddles and just different flams and everything.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: I'm just going nuts on the D and they're like okay, key1's lost it.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: And it's like no, I haven't lost it, not yet.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I've got a place to put it right now I'm going to take the crossing.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: And then, lastly, I definitely related that I wrote my book because I told the story from my point of view.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: I heard everybody else's point of view.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: I heard what everybody else found out about the accident.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: I know all of their stories, but now everybody understands how.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Found out about the accident.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I know all of their stories, but now I want everybody to understand how I feel about the situation, the things that I was going through and also I was vulnerable with it because the military, they shy you away from the vulnerabilities being sensitive.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: It's like a shut up and color moment.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: Hey, man, let's get back to it.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: We got this, we gotta get to work, we gotta go, and I had to, I guess you could say, reset my brain and get me out of that in order to become vulnerable.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: It make this book very how do I say?
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Reader friendly, cause I have not come across a person who's read my book.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: They either one didn't cry or two just like wanted to reach out to me because of how, how it was.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: But yeah, that those are the three things when you look at statistics of the surviving rate from a motorcycle accident, that statement alone, without even throwing out numbers, is proof that you're here for a reason, and the fact that you have taken something horrific and regained that narrative and turning it into something beautiful is man forgive my language, but damn it, that's amazing.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Maybe addicted to the painkillers that they're prescribed, or losing their faith, losing their way?
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: And the fact that you held on to it and was like you know what?
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: I lost a lot of.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I lost a lot of things, but you're not taking this.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: It is just really cool what I would love to hit on for a moment that you use the word vulnerability.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: My platform is all kinds of kinds, and I've had so many people of different sexual orientation, different races, reach out to me, and they all have something that hinders them to accept emotion or to have emotion.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I got chills when you were talking about being vulnerable and allowing yourself to feel that vulnerability, and so my question to you is did you ever feel less of a man by showing emotion?
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Actually, I feel like more of a man, to be honest.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: The reason I say that's in a mature way.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Maturity allows you to reveal certain things.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, maturity allows you to be like I don't care what people say.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: This is what I'm going to say.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: And so, with it being a story written by me but about, I had to be 100%, I could not do it.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: 50%, I couldn't do it 75%, I couldn't do it 90%, I had to be 100% key one.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: To be 100% key one, I had to say I don't care it.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: In 90.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: I had to be 100% key one.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: To be 100% key one, I had to say I don't care what you think, this is my book and this is my book.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: If you want to read it, feel free.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if you don't, that's okay, it doesn't matter to me.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: My whole purpose was to get the story out.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: That was the purpose of it.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: It wasn't to become a million.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: I wasn't living best selling.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: I wasn't trying to be, you know, on Oprah, steve Harvey.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: No, it was to get my story out.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: So so I can actually it's almost like a journal.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Say is what it was like a journal, and I didn't realize how good of a writer I was.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Great, I used to be a great writer back in school.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: I haven't been to school, no more.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: I took college courses, but it was like college.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: It made you feel different about your writing ability.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: Once I got back into writing, I was just like, wow, dude, you can.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: The editor.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: He was like I don't have to change much, but this is the way I like a book should be.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: And I was like I don't have to change this, but this is the way I a book should be.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: And I was like, okay that's all he was doing was changing it to make it the way he books should be.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Now I can write a paper, but he wanted to sound like more of a book right you know what?
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: Let's change it.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Let's make it letters, individual letters, people.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: And I was like I can't.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: Let's change it, let's make it letters, individual letters, so that people can read it.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: And I was like I can't.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: With you being a man that was getting into a great career, growing into your career, I'm sure thinking you're going to retire from this career and everything changing.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: And you're going to retire from this career and everything changing.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: The change is something that you did not predict, right?
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Do you find that there's two different sets of PTSD?
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Do you have PTSD from the service and then have to separate the PTSD from the car accident?
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, there is PTSD from both.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Ptsd from the service came and that was, I would consider.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: What am I pulling this?
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: I almost honestly, I almost died, and it was during that plane.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: But it wasn't even because of my plane, it was because of one of the planes that I was refueling who caused a fireball behind us.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: Listen, you want to talk to us about somebody being scared?
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: All I did was close my eyes and that was the one F-bomb.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: I called over the radio.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: I can't make that up.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: So I've been somewhere out there floating in space.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: That's me.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: I couldn't, I didn't know what else to say.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: I know what our original call is supposed to be, but at that moment there's nothing else to say.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, fair enough, and I'm sure it was completely justified.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Yes, you almost killed me.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: Killed me Very.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: First deployment too, my very first one.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: You're going to take me out on the first one.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: You won't even let me get to my job.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: That's the first PTSD.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: I tell that story a lot of the times, just what we call war stories in the military.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: But the PTSD that I have from the motorcycle accident was initially because what I didn't know about the accident how the heck did it happen?
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: When I was told about it and what they said about it, that's all I could equate in my mind.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: So he pulled out Okay, was he coming from the right or left, he mind.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: So he pulled out Okay, was he coming from the right or left?
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: He was coming from the right side, okay.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: And so now when I go to a pull up to a stoplight and there's, we're making a left turn in front of traffic, I used to white knuckle the door handle and I didn't know, I didn't know I was doing, I didn't when I didn't know I was doing, I didn't.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: When I tell you white knuckle, that squeeze was like I probably had some mold changing and shifting in my hand and I was grabbing that door hand.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: And then I noticed one day and I was like oh, wait a minute.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: Like drew back my hair and I was like what is that?
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: And I didn't understand.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: I had PTSD in it.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah and so, yeah, that's the.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: That's one of the from the motorcycle I was in.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: The other one is just so, with me not having eyesight, my sound and hearing is like really keen.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: So if there are ever put it this way we had, I would say maybe three or four months ago.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: I live in a new suburb.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: They are looking like crazy.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: So at that time they were digging, clearing out the land and digging and all that stuff, but they were finding massive boulders in the ground that they had to get out.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: In order to get these boulders out, they had to blow them up and my mom didn't tell me that.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: She got the email, but I didn't know a thing about it until it happened.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: And when I say I felt like I was overseas in the Middle East when that explosion happened, because that's how close it was and how the walls shook in my house.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: I thought there were mortars coming in and I was on the phone when it happened, walking, and I was like what?
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: And I just froze and it's like my life just flashed.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I literally froze.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: I stopped talking.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Next thing, I know my mom is yelling downstairs, are you okay?
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: I say what was that?
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: And she was like I'm sorry, derek, I'm blowing up rocks today.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: I forgot to tell you.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: I said, and I'm trying to take a breath Take a breath.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, those are so loud.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Noises are really bad when I don't know where they're coming from.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: I don't celebrate the 4th of July in the traditional way.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: I don't shoot off fireworks.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: The thought of shooting off these loud explosions to celebrate freedom that has given people that has fought for us to have the freedom that's also given them PTSD, it just doesn't.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: It's never really settled well with my family and I, so we've never shut off fireworks.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: We don't go to the big celebrations with something that we just haven't done and people question me not in a negative way, but people ask me about that all the time.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: They expect it.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: It's when you have triggers, as long as there's some kind of trigger warning and everyone knows that July 4th is pretty much a standard trigger warning but that just doesn't settle well with me.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: I just don't like it.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Can I, as a military, military, medically retired staff, stay safe, Tell you and your family thank you and applaud you right now, Because if anybody just made sense, it was you.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Think about that.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: We all go over there and hear these explosions that can wake us up.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: At night, we can run into an IED.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: These explosions remind us of negative moments, of bad moments, but over here, stateside, everybody's like, no, no, what are we doing?
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: It's a triggering moment.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: Do you know what that means?
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: We don't want to know about it.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: We don't want to hear that.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: Absolutely and thank you for validating that for us, because it's our way of trying to pay it forward to the people that have fought so hard for us to have the freedom to shoot off the damn fireworks.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: It's never made.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of military members in my family and when they share the stories with us, it's something that we don't take lightly and and we we go we would rather take if we were going to go spend, would rather take if we were going to go spend $100 or $500 on fireworks.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: We would rather take that and donate it to an organization for our veterans and I, even in my adult life, I just truly stand by that.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: Eden.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: No, I greatly appreciate it.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: I thank you and your family.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah and man, so we thank you.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: We hear the unhappy endings of stories where people have served or been in a tragic accident and it leads to people just wanting to numb the pain which leads to addiction.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: And absolutely I'm sure your faith plays a huge part in the road that you took.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know that there's ever an easy road.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I will never say addiction is, or even getting to addiction is an easy road or turning your traumas into a victory.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: But it takes a lot of work, man, and what kept you so strong to do this?
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I can always point to faith.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: But family, dude, there wasn't a day in my house when somebody didn't come by.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: I don't care if you were a family member, friend, co-worker there was never a day where somebody in two long months now I was in the hospital from May 5th to July 7th somebody stopped by my home and just saying if they didn't stop, if somebody couldn't stop by which they did.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: But if somebody couldn't stop by, I always give them a phone call and I'm like geez, I'm tired of answering this phone.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: And that was what kept me going.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: Even when I got home was doing home health.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: People would come and visit.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm in a wheelchair, what's wrong?
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: There ain't nothing wrong with it.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Come see me.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: If I accept visitors, I want you to come be one.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: If I'm opening up the door, you feel free to come in.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: But if I was like I'll tell you not to, then that's another story.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: But I did not shoo anybody away.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: I don't care what I looked like, I was going through recovery.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: So when you came by, don't worry about what I look like, I was going through recovery If you need that.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: So when you came by, don't worry about what.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I look like Talk to the person sitting there?
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: And I heard you mention addiction.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: I cannot say I am not addicted to, but it is.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: It's, those drums sit right here in my room.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: I am addicted to those things and any time that I can play I do.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: So it's become a release for you.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: It's therapy.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Yes, music therapy is a real thing for those who do not know.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: So, whether you feed yourself good soulful music, christian music, rock, heavy metal, death music, whatever you're feeding yourself, whatever that music genre you play, your background and training played a part in your recovery.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely the Air Force.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: If there was one thing they instilled in us, it was resiliency.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: We used to have training on that every year, every year, every single year and sometimes twice, and that was really big.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Because you have to be resilient in order to keep going.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: Whether it's the mission, whether it's in life, whether you have just gotten up on fours, maybe your child had something going on and you missed it.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: Whatever it is, you have to be resilient in order to keep going forward and keep pushing forward, and so resiliency is what actually my motivational speaking business is one of the main topics I speak on.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: That and overcoming adversity are not two main topics, yeah.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that and I felt that talking with you, I felt that once you begin your recovery, that it was and I don't know this, I'm just doing things out there, but I feel like you're one of the people that's.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: No, I'm still gonna make my bed, I'm still going to make sure my clothes are a certain type of way Like I feel, even just with what little conversation we had, that discipline really played a huge factor into your recovery and I think that's amazing.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Man, I'm just blown away with you.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: To start bringing this to an end, I always like to talk about the good things and, off record, we were talking about some voice acting that you've done, of course, your book, your motivational speaking, so let's dive a little bit deeper into that.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: To start ending on a good note, I want everyone to know where to find you.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: I want to hear and I don't want to give too much away, because I want you to tell the story you have met your significant other through your voice acting.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: Please tell us about that.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: So I'll first tell you a little bit about where to find me K-I-J-U-A-N-M-A-M-E-Y, and then LinkedIn is Kewan Amy and Twitter is Amy Motivation.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: As far as my business Motivation was speaking business, you can find me at wwwamyameymotivationcom wwwAmyMotivationcom.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: Now, before that, you mentioned the voiceover act, and boy oh boy did I want that for sure.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: I'm like a huge fan of just doing funny voices especially.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: I guess I started to understand that was a part of me when I was younger.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: I used to always like to mimic things on TV people that I knew.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: Even in dancing I tried to mimic people.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: So it's all kinds of stuff.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: I was just one of those people that I liked to mimic.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Now I also used to do onstage acting as well.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: So that's another side.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: With the voiceover.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: It was like when you hear somebody with a pronounced voice or just attention, you're just like wait, what was that?
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: Well, that's pretty cool.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: One of my favorite, I guess you'd say animations.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: Probably a lot of people have seen this.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: I'm sure is the line, and I was like when I would hear that I would love to just do that voice.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this is me.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: And you know all of those different voices.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: James Earl Jones is a legend.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Eddie Murphy Dodge the Nutty Professor series was awesome how he just played all those different characters.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: My goodness, my girlfriend.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: She always picks on me because I fall into grandma all the time.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: I'm always doing the grandma's voice and it's just one of those things.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: I don't know why, but that's just like the old person voice that I gravitate towards.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I've not watched those movies in so long.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have to watch them again now.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: They're so good.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, but.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: And then, of course, my favorite lines Sharpton, have a real lady, sharpton, get the hell out of here.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: But yeah, that's, those are my movies, man gosh, even coming to america, the first oh yeah, in eddie mercy.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Uh, she did that.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: Really the african dialect and accent that he.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: That movie was actually very nice and my favorite line was when they were in McDowell's not McDonald's, oh, yeah, mcdowell's, and Samuel L Jackson talks and sticks up the place and what's his name?
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Arsenio Hall is playing.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: What's his name?
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: Simi, he's Simi.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the guy in that movie Hall is playing.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: What's his name?
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: Simi, he's.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: Simi, yeah, the guy in that movie.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: He says freeze your disease.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: That's what's present.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: I know, gosh.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll have to watch that one too.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: I forget about these.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: Just classic movies Gosh, that's so awesome.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: And Samuel L Jackson.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: I don't know that he's ever done any wrong, just classic movies.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: That's so awesome.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: And Samuel L Jackson.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know that he's ever done any wrong in my eyes, like I can hear him talk.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: I'll be honest, I did not know he had done so many movies.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: I started to he was getting interviewed by somebody and then they just went down the list of movies he was in.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: That's good.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: He's done a lot.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you forget because he just does it and he just keep going like nothing's going on.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but great actors and I think he was a great addition to the Marvel series of Avengers, so he's done a great work.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: But those are like the things that I did Marvel series of Avengers so he's done a great work, but those are like the things that I did.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: You mentioned my girls.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: Her and I actually met.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: I think it was May 2020, but we officially started dating January 3rd 2023.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: So we just came up on a year.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: What was I?
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: Happy anniversary.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, just, it just came up on a year.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: Happy anniversary, yeah, yeah, just came up on a year.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: I'm doing a great job remembering dates.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: I don't want to kick my butt, but, yeah, man, so that's.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: Her name is Mikael and we were friends for the longest, but we could tell there was something more and that's how I feel it should be, like you should be friends, just free floating.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: And then make that connection, you're like, okay, we're not going to be able to let each other go, just make this thing official.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: She's also still in here, so we both share that commonality.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow, okay.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a reason, but, yes, sure, the title of the book is Don't Focus on why Me from Motorcycle Accident and it can be found on Amazon, kindle, audible and Apple, and I have it not only in the actual paperback version, but I have it in the e-version and the audio version.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: So that was my next question is are you reading it to us?
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: No, actually the guy who is reading it, though he did an amazing hand selected him personally.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: He had to audition for the job and I gave them the basis of how I wanted it rated and he did what I wanted.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: So now that I mentioned that, let me tell you this so during the auditions, there was this one guy.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: When he was reading, I felt like I was about to start watching a Star Wars movie.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: I'm like no, uh-uh next, you know what?
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: I'm looking for Love, your talent.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Wow, he did a great job.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: I think it's first name is Joel.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: He did a great job.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: Man, I'm such a fan already.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to follow you and watch what you do.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Thank you again.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: I appreciate the service you've done and the service that you're doing now.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: I want to extend my deepest gratitude to our incredible guests for sharing their transformative journey with us today.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: Join us next week as we dive into the healing process and share more incredible stories of triumph and resilience.
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: Now I'm paid for you.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: Now I'm paid for you and I'll pay for you.
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: I'm done hurting you.