Latest / A Heart That Beats for Home / 68. When Life Burns Down: John O'Leary's Story of Faith and Resilience

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68. When Life Burns Down: John O'Leary's Story of Faith and Resilience · A Heart That Beats for Home

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hey friends, I'm Nikki Smith, your host here at A Heart that Beats for Home, the podcast where we're ditching filters and diving headfirst into the raw beauty of all things home.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Now, I am no expert when it comes to this whole parenting and marriage dance.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I'm simply a gal who's been riding the mom roller coaster for 22 years and a wife still untangling the mystery of it all 25 years after saying I do.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: My goal is to bring you unapologetically messy and boldly genuine conversations about cultivating strong families.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, possibly cry, and straight talk about the joy and chaos that comes within the four walls that we call home.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: No judgment and certainly no perfection, just real talk from my heart, a Heart that Beats for Home.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Let's dive in.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Hello friends, welcome back to another episode here at A Heart that Beats for Home.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: So grateful to have you with us for another week and I am extra, extra excited for you guys, whether you're washing dishes, driving your kids to school, whatever it might be.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I extra excited for you guys, whether you're washing dishes, driving your kids to school, whatever it might be.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: I'm excited for what's going to come through your phone, your ear pods, over the next 30 to 40 minutes, because it is going to be a treat.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: It is going to bless you, and for those of you that aren't familiar with our next guest, mr John O'Leary, today is going to change a lot about how you live life, and so, if you don't know John's story, today's a special day for you.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I was introduced to John just about a decade ago, after he wrote his first book On Fire.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: John is a husband, he's a father of four, he's an author of two books.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: One that's in my top five books of all time it's been there for almost a decade now is on fire.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: He has a wildly successful podcast called Live Inspired, with more than 7 million downloads.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: He's a speaker who inspires all of us to live inspired and truly, with a mission and on passion.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: But you guys, john's story began with pain.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: It began with struggle.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: It began with a fight to overcome impossible odds.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: After a horrible accident in his parents' garage, john was given less than a 1% chance of survival, but God and the great physician had a different plan that actually started in that garage for how John's life would impact millions and millions of people, and so what doctors said was impossible.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: God had already written the story of John's life and what I am so excited about is you're going to hear so much of that story.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: We're going to take it in a different way today than John typically probably tells his story, because our listeners are moms and they're families and we're going to talk about real life, about hardship, about our role as parents and, john, I am just so excited to just have a conversation with a friend that so many other friends get to listen in on, and so if you would just kind of introduce yourself, tell us kind of start at the beginning of the story, for those that don't know how that day in 1987 changed everything about the trajectory of your life, Nikki, thank you, and I'm going to begin even more recent than that.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I'm going to begin on the day we're recording this.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: It's morning and you said to your listeners whether you're listening while doing the dishes or driving the kids to school.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: You're going to be inspired today, and what your listeners and viewers should know is I've already done those two things today.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: I made pancakes for the kids before we shuttled them off to school.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: I took my little girl, who's in eighth grade, off to school.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I've got three older boys.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I'm married.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: You know my job titles today speaker and executive producer and author.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: And these, these seemingly important titles none of them, not even close are better than husband, son, dad, friend, believer.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: And so that's where this story starts.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: In so many regards is what matters most in life and what that can lead to in all aspects of life.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: So, man, I'm glad to be with your moms and dads and leaders, all whatever they're doing right now and as we step back.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Almost 40 years ago, I grew up in the Midwest, I grew up outside of St Louis.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: I saw kids in my neighborhood when I was nine playing with fire and gasoline and I figured if they could do it, so could I.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: So, with my mom out, with a couple of my sisters and my dad out at work, I walked into the garage, bent over a can of gasoline.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: The plan was to pour just a tiny bit on top, but before the liquid came out, the fumes pulled the flame back into the container.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: It created this massive explosion, split the metal in two Nikki.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: It launched the nine-year-old little guy 20 feet against the far side of the garage, changed my world.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: One moment I'm a happy little fella, life is good, life is normal.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: And in the next instant that's how quick it happens In the next instant I found myself on my back in a hospital bed.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I'd never been in a hospital before, with burns, as you alluded to, on 100% of my body, dying.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: So that's the starting point for where life will really begin.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: And everyone listening, know, everyone listening.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: As a mom.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: John was nine years old at that time and I'm going to try really, really hard, John, not to give any spoilers, because at the end of this, you guys are going to find out that this is becoming a full length movie that's coming to the big screens here in a couple of weeks and we're going to talk a ton about that.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: But I had the complete honor of being able to screen that film here in my home and the thing, as you know, everybody's going to watch this movie and you're going to see it from a different perspective.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: You're going to have caregivers that see it from a perspective.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: You're going to have moms, dads, siblings all these different people are going to see different things.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: And I've read your book.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: I literally don't know.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I have to hold it up here.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: People won't be able to see it on the podcast, but this is what the on fire book looks like in my house.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: It is marked up, it is pages bent, and so I've read your story and I know your story and I watched that movie and there were so many parts that I wept and it was the parts where I connected with your mom, two really specific one where she's leaning over the gurney as you're being rolled away and I'm not going to give away powerful, powerful conversation between a nine-year-old and a mom and then again where she parented with what I would call tough love, tough love.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: And as mamas I think we live in a society that is maybe a soft culture, myself completely included want to make life easy for our kids, and so my first question for you, john you're in the hospital.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Was it five months that you were in the hospital?
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Just a little bit over that, but yeah, five months.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: With a less than 1% chance of survival right.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: The math on this, just so your listeners and viewers have perspective.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: If you're burned in 2025, they take the percentage of the body burned, they add your age and they figure out mortality.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: So today, this child would have 109% likelihood of dying.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: If you're just doing the straight up math 40 years ago, it's not like there's a small chance.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: There is no chance.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: The doctor was sweet enough to tell my mom like hey, you know, there's a 1% chance and those odds will never go up in time.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: But what he was really trying to do with her sweetly is say Mrs O'Leary, prepare yourself, this is not going to go the way.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: You hope and you pray, and so that's what she's dealing with, that's what my dad is dealing with, that's what my siblings are dealing with and for me, what stirs my heart so much when I think about the story, when I read that book again or when I watch the film, it's not my pain, it's theirs.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Like man, the scenes you're talking about break my heart, not for what I endured, but for what my mother went through and for what she modeled.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what she modeled.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: And so to that first question I want to ask you for moms listening is you come out of the hospital?
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: And this is not going to be a spoiler, because if you know anything about John, you know that one of the hardest days in the hospital for his family was when he had to go into surgery and they had to take all of his fingers.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: And so, as a mom, you're praying for your kid's survival first of all.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Now I'm sure you're wrestling with how does my kid live life with no fingers, like you?
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Think of everything that that impacts.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: And she brought you home and she gave you no room to fall short of what she knew your potential was.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: And so whether it was learning how to eat, like leaving you in a dining room with a plate full of food immediately after coming home and saying to your siblings do we want him to figure it out so he can feed himself for the rest of his life, or do we want to just feed him and to make you play the piano, john, wednesdays is your piano lesson at four o'clock?
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: That was how it was before the fire.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: It's how it's going to be after the fire.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: What do you say to parents that maybe are afraid to push their kids into hard things so that they can overcome, and how has that impacted your and Beth's parenting?
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: So you're asking a lot in short order and it's all really important for where we are as a society right now.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: The scenes you're referring to when they first shot them they were actually even more bold, showing how seemingly cold-hearted my mom was.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: And yet what happened in the original showing is they would go from John really struggling almost two hours that night I came home figuring out how to eat and John's sad and he's mad and he's flipping plates and it's just.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: It's a tough scene to watch actually.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: That's why they shortened it significantly, but it went from that to 30 years later.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: John is running a motivational speaking business, he's eating pasta, he's leading his team, he's loving his life, which means there's a direct tie between a mother's tough love and that child's ability to do life afterwards in the difficulty of the marketplace.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: So when we snowplow, when we mow it on all the weeds, when we roll out the red carpet so our children can fall in line right behind us, we do so at a disservice, not only for them today, because friction's a beautiful thing Resistance is what makes your muscles strong and your life good but it also takes away their agency to live into the hardship of tomorrow that is going to come.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: You can't bubble wrap that.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: The difficulties are going to arrive, and what we teach our children today are preparing that for them tomorrow.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I once heard a quote that said today's parents think that they're giving their children life jackets by doing what you just said plowing the way, making it easy and ultimately what we're giving them is a weighted vest.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: And I thought, man, that's a really good visual.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: What we think we're doing to save them is actually slowly sinking them in the water of life.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: And just as a parent to watch those scenes, I'm so inspired by your mom because I'm glad you shortened it, because it wrecked me in the in the little segment that is in the movie Just challenged me to Nikki man, don't just try to make life easy for your kids, because the struggles are what really push us into that.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: And you've said pain is a powerful teacher, and I think that is is so true.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: How would you say you know, obviously there's been almost a 40-year span between accident and John O'Leary.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Today, and I know you get asked all the time if you could go back and change that.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Our immediate response, I think, is, yes, take that pain away.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: But when you stop and you look at how God orchestrated your life, and even if it took decades to get to the point that you said, maybe I don't know that I would change it?
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: How has that pain directly impacted where you are today?
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: So right now I'm reading through Exodus with a group of guys.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: If I'm being super vulnerable with you, I want to grow in my faith and I'm so busy, and so there's this tension of not doing what I know I want to be doing and desire to do.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: And so years ago, like now, almost three and a half years ago, I reached out to one of my guys and I'm like Matt, will you walk me through the word man, let's just do it every day.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: And so for the last three and a half years, that's how I begin my days with Matt, and this little group is growing now to nine other guys.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: So pretty awesome.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: Right now we're working through Exodus and I knew this growing up in the church, but I didn't know this.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Like capital K-N-O-W know this that Moses, after the little baby, comes home and lives in the palace and does those things, murders someone.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: I vaguely remember that.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: And then he disappears for 40 years and he watches sheep man, he's under the stars, he's living like a hermit.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: This is not good life and he's wondering, if you're honest about it, where is God in this?
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: One of the mightiest leaders throughout all of scripture spent four decades wondering how is God going to work in this moment Again, day after day after day, day after day after day and I'm, by the way, nowhere near comparing myself to that, but I think God works on God's perfect time, not ours.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: So when I got burned and I came home from the hospital my beautiful mom's teaching me how to eat and then teaching me how to play the piano, and then teaching me how to be a young boy my dream in life was not one day to become a motivational speaker.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: It was not to write books or have a movie done about my life.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: My dream was to be normal.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Like all I wanted, nikki was to be an ordinary kid.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: I hated my wheelchair Still do when I look back on it.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: I hated that.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: It was a reminder to all I wasn't.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: I hated the fact my fingers have been amputated.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: It made me less than everybody else.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: I hated my scars.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: You can see them today From my neck to my toes.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: I hated that.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: It made me less than everybody else.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: I hated my scars.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: You can see them today From my neck to my toes.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: I hated that.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: It made me so much less than my friends.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: So my dream was not to stand out, it was to fade.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: And I faded, like many of us, not just for days or weeks or months, for decades.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: When my life really began to shift was when I was almost 28 or so and I'm in the back row of a church service, my arms are crossed.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: I'm bored by life, not just by the message, I'm bored by life.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: And the pastor was preaching on the gift of talents and ultimately came not five or two or one, he apparently wrote his own verse.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: He talked about for those of you who feel like you got none.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: And finally I perk up because I'm sort of in debt.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I'm not in a strong relationship, I have no real active faith.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: Don't confuse going to church with being alive in the word.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: I'm just kind of dead.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: And then he says for those of you who feel like you got no talents and life has passed you by, listen to me, your life is a precious gift.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: You got one job.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: Say yes to being used for good.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: So this 28-year-old nobody wrote that down that night, trying to fade still.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: And the following day it's a true story I went to work construction.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: That's what I was doing back then and my phone rings and it's a little Girl Scout kind of like.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: It's a portrait of the film.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: And I answer the phone and I say hello and a little voice says Mr John, will you speak at my school?
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: And Nikki, man, I'd never spoken anywhere.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Why would I talk about bad stuff?
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: I am nobody, I'm inarticulate, I'm not very academically astute and I'm not going to take a stage, I'm not going to stand in the bright light, I'm fading.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: But on the heels of receiving a message that my life was a precious gift and that I had one job, I took the dare to say yes.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: And that single speaking event led to a second one, and a third one, and a 10th one, and a 50th one, and a 100th one and a 2700th one, just awkwardly saying yes and tripping your way forward and trusting that God is working through all things.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: So you asked would you take it back?
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Look what it's done professionally.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: And yet, man, I'm not defined by keynotes given or audiences.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: I'm working from home.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Today I live in this lovely house and more than that structure, it's the sounds I'm wild about my wife.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: 21 years in, I'm still dating her.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: I think she's prettier now.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: She's upstairs.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: She'll get mad if she hears this.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure she's prettier now than she's ever been in her entire life.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: She's just stunning.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: So we're still dating.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: We have four babies, man the oldest just launched off to college.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Life isn't always perfect.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: My dad recently passed away.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: We have some difficulties with some of our kids from time to time, so don't get the wrong idea.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: But when I look back on my life and the fire, it's what formed me and shaped me for everything that came afterwards.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: It just took a couple decades to begin to really grab onto it.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: And such a good reminder for us that the true beauty from ashes what we only see as horrible and disaster.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: And how could God allow this?
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: What he is forming and your story is such a beautiful, just picture for all of us that in that moment I don't know how you could see any good in what happened.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: If you would have asked your mom or the doctors or anybody that knew and loved you, they would say there's nothing good.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: And just to see how God in His time, like you, said some things immediately, how things that your siblings did but they didn't even know they were doing, how that so profoundly impacted your story, how the nurses and the doctors I want to lead into with that.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: You know, one of my other top five books that's right up there with your on fire is two different books by one of my favorite authors, bob Goff, and it's Love Does and Everybody Always, and I'm sure you're familiar with those and they changed me.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Those two books changed me and it's this concept of we live in a society where we think we have to have everything all buttoned up and you got to give people privacy and you've got to have permission to enter into life, and I think even believers who know that's not how God intended us to live life.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: We stand back and we wait to be invited in.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: We wait to be told hey, I could use your help here, or would you do this for me?
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: And human nature doesn't want to do that.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's just me because I'm stubborn and I don't want to need help.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I don't want to have to ask somebody to carry a load that seems too heavy for me.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: And in your story we see these people that walked into your life, many who never knew you and how, the determination of a nurse I have a daughter who's in nursing school, a daughter who's going into PA school and for them to be able to see that firsthand how you don't just have a job, this is not just a means.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: To the end you have an opportunity to be the nurse, like that nurse, that man for John O'Leary that told him boy, you are gonna walk.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: I don't care what you say, I don't care what the doctors, I don't care what you're hearing outside this glass room that is doom and gloom.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: This is up to you.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Talk to me a little bit about how the nurses, the doctors, the sweet man who kept your room so sterile so you didn't get infection.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: The Jack Bucks, how they didn't have permission but they just entered into your life, and how that changed everything about your story.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: So in some regards, you're asking about characters who are either written about and on fire or they'll be in the film Soul on Fire, and so all those characters.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: I hope people check out the book, I hope they watch the film and I hope their life is better because of it.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: But I'm going to share a character who's not in the book and he's not in the film and he's a steady example of what this looks like.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: So years ago, I asked my mom we were talking about some of the folks who showed up for me because it is crazy.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm a normal, ordinary guy.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Trust me, ask my friends and our family is and was ordinary.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: So all these folks who showed up for us, like none of it should have happened Billy Graham, pope, john Paul II, ronald Reagan, nancy, jack Buck, the broadcaster, the medical staff like none of them should have done what they did and yet they did.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: It's just, it's stunning.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: It's evidence of God's love, man and grace to those who may not deserve it.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: So those guys are written about.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: But I asked my mom when we were talking about how unlikely all that was, who her favorite was Like, who had the biggest impact on you, mom and my mom, who is my hero man.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: She thought about it for a moment and then she said, oh, don Lee.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: So I said, don Lee, you know he taught my brother English Mom.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Why, don Lee?
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: This was a junior high school history teacher, kind of quiet, like why would you pick him?
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: And she talked about this one night where she left my room and she just started crying in the hallway.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: And only a mom, I think, could really know this kind of pain where she wasn't sure that night what she should pray for anymore.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: And some of your moms listening know exactly what my mom is wrestling with.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: What should I even pray for in this situation really?
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Because if this child does survive, what kind of life will he live?
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: Is it selfish for me to keep demanding that he fight on?
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: What should I pray for?
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: So she is struggling.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: They've just taken my fingers.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: I'm going to probably be confined to their house for the rest of their lives.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: That's what the doctors and the team are saying.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: What should I be praying for?
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: So her heart is broken and she is crying down the hallway.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: She looks into the darkened waiting room and there's one little lamp on and there's a guy seated next to a grading English papers.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: And this was where he worked every night.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: It's odd for an English teacher to work in a burn center waiting room every night, but he kept his vigil there.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: You know, love does.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: Bob Goff reminds us love does.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: It's easier to grade those little papers in his office or at his apartment, but he chose to bring them into a hospital, just in case, justin, you never know, just in case.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: So it's late at night, she goes into the waiting room, she just starts weeping with him, he starts crying with her, puts the papers aside.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: So finally I say to my mom mom, what did he say?
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: What did he say?
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: And my mom looks off and then says to me I don't think he said a word, I don't think he said a word.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: So here's this big buildup of a story of a man who is not a Hall of Famer by title, he's not an executive by pay grade, he's not born into it, he's not part of the medical staff, he's not written about in the books and he's not in the film.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: And yet, out of all the folks that she could have celebrated, the one mom chose was this ordinary and please understand I'm celebrating that word ordinary English teacher, who felt a calling us hard to be there just in case, and was so.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: One of the reasons I wanted to share that story is we think you need to be a Hall of Famer.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: We think you need to be within the Arbonne Executive Committee to really lead down and pull the team up.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: And, man, I'm telling you, when you look back on your life, the people who made the biggest difference in your world usually aren't the ones who got paid the most, they're not the ones who are most well-known, they're not the ones who are having the films done about their life.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: They're the ones who had the audacity to show up, to be present, to love you where you were, as you were, and in doing that well, they changed your life.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: To put a little bow on this, when they did the movie poster, there was a picture of the guy playing me with his arms in the air, looking at the camera, like hear me, roar, I've overcome, I've done it.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: So I wrote back to Sony and I said hey, guys, before you do the movie poster, watch the film, because the movie is not about John.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Before you do the movie poster, watch the film, because the movie is not about John O'Leary at all.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Watch the film.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: So now, if you look at the movie poster, they actually turned that character around, so you see the backside of him.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: His arms are still in the air.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: He's now a shadow figure, and what you really see is this mosaic.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: What you really see is this mosaic.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: The entire poster is made up of this mosaic of every single individual who were part of little John and then older John's life, who were the actual heroes in the story.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: They were the ones to your question who showed up.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: They were love.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: They didn't have to go, they did, and in doing so, they changed both of our lives.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: Wow, I'm looking at the movie poster right now.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: It's here on some of the stuff that I was sent over and that's powerful to see that.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: And you talk so much about mundane.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, I literally feel like I got emotion stuck right here when you were telling that story.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Right, you got to be careful, or I'm going to open up here, john and we're going to have tears, but I think Well, just so you know I already did so.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: if you want to follow my lead, feel free, because I'm already over here crying and I know the story.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Perfect.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Well, I love that you shared that with Don Lee.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: It's just a reminder to all of us.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: Go be the Don Lee and you talk a lot about.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: We can get kind of downtrodden, thinking like my life just feels so mundane and mom's listening specifically.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: I just feel like when you are called, whether you're a full-time mom in the home or even harder, you're a working mom that's still tasked with doing all those things.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: I know for so many stages of me, even going through a state of postpartum depression where you feel like maybe you've lost yourself.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: It's just the diapers and the dishes and the laundry and you turn around and it's like a tornado went through and you just feel like, does it even matter?
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: And I think one of the most powerful things in that story is that he maybe didn't say anything.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: And I think so many times we're afraid to enter into a space because we don't know what to say or we don't want to say the wrong thing, and it's just that reminder to just be that steady force, to just be there.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: And that man, what a good reminder that is.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: Along with that, Bob Goff's whole thing is love doesn't ask permission, it just does.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: And that's what you take away today, listeners, whether it's in your home, whether it's in the community that you're working, in the school, where you show up and you serve lunch and you think it's just because you have to fulfill your duties you might be the only person for the kid in the lunch line that smiles, that says how you doing, you know, and just a reminder to live our lives in that really powerful way.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you, John, thank you for sharing that story that maybe people haven't heard.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I appreciate that, but I want to ask you something just real, vulnerably.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: As a mom, I know you talk a lot about identity and you feeling like when you were staying small and afraid to show your scars, trying to cover up as much as you could, even a scene in the movie where you're pretty sure that your wife wouldn't have wanted to be with you because externally there were things about you that you categorized as this makes me not qualified or not worthy or not wanted.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: And, as a mom, when we go through life, I think we've all been in a circumstance I can think of several where you're out at the doctor's office or you're in an airport and you come in contact as a family, a mom with kids, with someone who doesn't look like you, who maybe has scars, who maybe has deformities.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I recall a time when we were in the airport and a gentleman wheeled up in a wheelchair next to us no legs, and you know he was wearing something that told us that he was injured in war.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: And so it's that conversation as a parent where you're like you know you're afraid your kids are going to say something and you want to be kind, but also this real life of there are people all around us that life circumstances, God's plan, has made them look different than us.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: What can you say to us as parents on how we walk into those situations?
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Maybe there's situations that you can think of where it's been handled poorly, or maybe a time when a mom walked up to you because kids had questions from somebody who does have some physical differences than the average person.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: What can you say to moms to encourage what that conversation should look like, not just privately, but with somebody?
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: Well, the first thing I would say is that the idea that the people in the wheelchair without arms and legs don't know that they are in a wheelchair without arms and legs is one of the great lies we try to tell ourselves.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Like don't say a word, we'll just pretend like nothing's happening here, and that's a mistake, a lesson I try to teach my kids.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: I've had several friends who've lost children due to suicide, and rather than pretending like they have two kids now so we don't talk about the third who's no longer with us, I almost always say man, I think about name all the time.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: I'm just wondering how y'all are doing and I know it's a little awkward, but to hear your child's name whispered when they're no longer with you, to know that someone is keeping that person alive, I think parents long for it.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: So one thing is, I try not to pretend like the scars aren't there.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: That's true emotionally, it's true relationally, it's certainly true physically.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: If you see something, it's all right to acknowledge it.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: Then there's a little bit of a dichotomy, because there are some folks, like that guy in the wheelchair, who are celebrating the fact that man, I served our nation, I'm a veteran, that's why I look like this today.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: You can say thank you, you can say let me through, but here I come, and he's unafraid.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: So I promise you that guy would welcome you saying hey, man, I want to thank you for serving.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: Do you mind if my kids just ask you a couple of questions Now?
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: He may wheel right off and say no, it's not my problem, but my guess is he would love to speak to you.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: There are other folks, though, who are going through life like I did for decades, trying to pretend like nothing's wrong, nothing to see here, and they would be offended if you brought it up to them.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: So, as a parent, you're in a little bit of a difficult situation.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: I think then the important thing to do is to have the audacity to talk to your kids about it, because we go through life in our minivans and our kids jump out and they jump back in and life is pretty easy.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: And then you see the guy in the wheelchair or a man who's been scarred or a fellow walking through the airport and most people just ignore that person, they ignore me, they ignore us.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: And I think there's wisdom in first privately saying, gosh, guys, did you see that?
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: What do you think was going on there, mom?
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: It looks like you couldn't see.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: Wow, can you imagine not being able to see?
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: How do you think he does that?
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: It's not a remarkable and almost celebrating the heroism of going through life a little differently.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: So the very first place to start this is at home.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: It's around that little table, it's with your kids, but it's privately in my mind.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: And then if you feel the call to say, hey, sir, do you mind if we carry your bag for you?
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Just kind of walk you through the terminal.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: I do that almost all the time.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Sometimes they tell me to get lost, then other times they're like dude, you have no idea what a gift this is for me.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: And then, when they shake my hand at the end, all of a sudden they feel like, oh my gosh, what am I shaking here?
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: And then I can tell them a little bit of my story.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: So I've always found, when you are willing to love the one in front of you, sometimes they push you back, oftentimes they invite you in and then you can do life differently afterwards.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: But that love begins, nikki, around the coffee table with you and your kids saying, man, what's going on here?
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: Not in a judgmental way, but in a way where we are learning together and celebrating that heroism together.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Because going through life is hard in and of itself.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: Going through life with deformities of whatever that might mean, it's really difficult.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: And when you see someone like that in an airport or in a school bus or in a classroom, to love them as they are and to ask if you can serve them, I don't think that's a weakness, I think it's a strength.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: And being okay with rejection.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: If rejection is holding us from doing what's right, then that's an us problem.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: And you're exactly right.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: In that airport we did approach that man.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: He was at our gate.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: My kids ended up getting a picture with him.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: He told us stories.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: He was amazing.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: And I'll tell you just a conviction of my own just in hearing you talking in that answer, john, is when it starts at home and we're teaching our kids, I feel convicted that how can I teach my kids about worthiness, about all these things, when so much of my day is I've put on some weight, I'm looking so old, my gray hairs, all of this stuff that if what our focus?
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: And I don't even think it's in a way that I'm trying to be self-seeking or vain, but how can I portray a message to my kids of value and worth, not being anything connected to physical, if they hear me complaining about the vain things at home?
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: And so, moms, dads, if you're listening, if we're going to truly teach this to our kids that every single human is valued by God equally and created by God equally we have to start by believing that about ourselves in all things, because that is a true thank you for in just saying in all things, because that is a true thank you, for in just saying what you said, pointing that out to me that if I want my kids to treat people that way, I have to first be the example of treating myself as a child of God, called love, perfect in His eyes, clearly always striving to be better.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: We have podcast and and I interviewed a gentleman years ago named Mike Matheny.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: Matheny is a Cardinal player, 15 year, major leaguer Then.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: Then he managed for like eight more years.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: So like this is a successful guy.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: So I asked him about leadership and he said leadership is caught, not taught, and the parallel to that, what you're describing, and the parallel to that, what you're describing beauty is caught, not taught.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Generosity is caught, not taught.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: So you can talk until you're blue in the face, but when your children see you looking in the mirror differently and loving the reflection, when they see you loving that guy in the wheelchair and just saying man, I just want to thank you for who you are and for what you gave our country.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: We're free because of you.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: When they see this, you're not lecturing them, you're modeling them.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: And then what happens is they start teaching you, because adults forget the lessons we want to teach Kids.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: Grab onto them and don't forget them.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: So the very thing you hope for from them as you model it, they will start doing this for you and they will model.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: You'll become better because of them.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: That's powerful.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: I wanted to read a specific quote in the book that kind of ties into what you're saying and is the follow-up question for that.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: On page 51 of On Fire it says if you want to live a radically inspired life, it's time to embrace your story and to celebrate the amazing miracle of your life.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know your specific story, but I do know we've all been burnt.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: We've dealt with struggles and endured storms.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: We've lost parents, children, friends.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: We failed in businesses and marriages and dreams.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: We've stumbled spiritually, physically and financially.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: Yet our scars from these experiences, when we learn from them, aren't signs of weaknesses to be covered up, but symbols of strength to be celebrated.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: They are darkened and useless when covered.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: They are illuminated and inspired when exposed.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Those are your words, so I'm glad they're moving you to tears because you wrote that.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: Yes, man who wrote that Chat GPT was around in 2015.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Right, I mean this is some good writing, john, way to go.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: They are darkened and useless when covered, illuminated and inspired when exposed.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: So you put in here divorce, struggle.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: You said a loss of parents, and that was written before you had to say goodbye to your dad.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: You and I.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: First of all, sincere condolences.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: I know that that's a very fresh wound and loss for your family.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Your dad had Parkinson's and my father has Parkinson's.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: And, john, I don't know if you will remember this, but when we were together in Maui at an MVP retreat and you spoke with us, my sister and I were there in the room and we had just that month then given the diagnosis of Parkinson's for our dad and you, in the kindness of your heart, wrote a letter to my parents and signed a book and sent it to my parents' home almost a decade ago, and now we are at a stage of Parkinson's.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: That is brutal.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: And the amount of times that your posts from the last couple of years get shared between sisters and my mom to watch the way your family has truly lived, inspired, to give your dad every experience, whether it's the wheelchair with the jumbo sand wheels on the beach or the different things that you guys have done and to see your dad's.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: A little bit of your dad's story and his faith in the movie is beautiful and I read that and I think we all have different stories.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: We think, well, john was burned in the fire, but when we look at our own lives, there's fires in every single.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: There is not a human on the planet that doesn't have a story, which also plays into what you were just saying about just love people, because everybody is walking around with the story of the child who they lost to suicide or death or a broken marriage or infidelity, or financial ruin or the lost dream.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, the list is long and exhaustive and every single person has one.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: And so when we can learn?
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: I've always said, not nearly as beautiful as you said in that paragraph, but a struggle kept silent as a struggle wasted.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: What would you say to moms and dads that are listening, that feel like every single thing in my life right now just feels hard.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: My kids are rebelling, the finances are horrible, I don't feel like there's purpose.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: What would you say to that parent?
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: And then, how have you and Beth, because you've said in a lot of places I've heard you say without gratitude, there cannot be joy.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Without gratitude there cannot be joy.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: How do you encourage parents to take that pain, to take that hurt and find gratitude, and how do you practice that in your family?
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: We're just jumping in, so let's get the swimsuits on and follow me into the water.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: Here we go.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: One of the guys I quote in the book on fire is Henry Nowen, and I love Henry enough that I actually partially named our third kid after him.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: Like that's my level of respect for this guy and his wisdom.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: Well, one of his quotes that is not in the book is what is most personal and private is most universal and sacred.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: So the very thing that you think makes you less than Nikki because you went through that as a kid or your dad's got Parkinson's today this tension's happening in the family you're going through this with one of your little ones is actually the very thing that connects with me at a very different place in life and vulnerable and real, with our brothers and sisters in life.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: The more they look back at you at some point and say you too, dude, I thought it was only me.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: And even though it's completely different, it's the thing that molds us together as one.
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: So that's awesome.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: So be aware of that.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: You asked for wisdom on what I would offer to someone who's in the middle of a fire, and I'm a trained hospital chaplain.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: What that means is I don't have any advice for you, I don't have any encouragement, I don't have any inspiration.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: I barely even have a prayer.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: Our job is to come into the room and sit with you, period.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: Not to judge your faith, not to judge what led you into the room, not to judge what might happen tomorrow.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: Not to judge the fact that your family's not around or they're all over the place none of it.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: Not to judge the fact that your family's not around or they're all over the place None of it.
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: In Jesus's example, it would be meeting people at the well.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: That's like what I'm trained to do and I think we have a great shepherd to follow in that example.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: So the very first thing I would do if these guys and ladies were my buddies, I would just sit with them and I would love them and I would empathize with them and I would cry with them, and I would empathize with them and I would cry with them and I would be mad with them.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: I heard the sadness in your tears a moment ago, but also anger, like righteous anger.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: Man Like my dad is such a good man.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: You're saying why Parkinson's, why the struggle, why the pain, why the falls, why the broken?
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: So, rather than trying to shine light into that, I would just sit with you and wrestle.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: I think our God is big enough to embrace a wrestle partner and then when we tire out and we will, but he won't when we tire out he's still going to be there and then we can begin the journey forward.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: So then that's when it pivots from this righteous anger, which it's okay to be sad and mad and grieve.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: What I learned in watching my dad wrestle for three decades with Parkinson's was the ability, in the midst of the storm, to find joy.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: So how do you find joy in the midst of brokenness?
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: What he would do and this is the example of his life and it's showcased in the film the movie begins not with based on a true story and then it's like Superman flying.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: You're like, really, this is a true story.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: That's how most of Hollywood is now.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: It doesn't begin with based, it begins with a true story.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: So when you watch the film, just recognize the scene on the screen porch when John's dad is in a wheelchair and a sling talking to his son.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: Not only was a real scene in my life, but it was shot on the screen porch where my dad had it with me.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: So this isn't kind of like a true story, like this happened.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: And that great man, you see, bound by Parkinson's disease, had that conversation with me that changed my life.
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: And I asked my dad then how can you be grateful in the midst of agony?
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: And he said how could I not be?
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: So I asked him you might remember this give me three things you're grateful for, dad, because of Parkinson's, because of the storm, because of the grime, because of the brokenness, because of the pain, because of the financial insolvency, because of the struggle of your day.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: And my dad says to me well, the first thing he said I'm grateful it was not a more serious disease.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: He said I'm grateful it was not a more serious disease.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: Then he goes I'm grateful for the ability to slow down and recognize God's hand in my life, because my dad used to run.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: And then he says and I'm grateful for your mom.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: He said, john, everyone else is cheap in the value of my life, but your mother keeps stepping closer.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: I haven't earned it, but I'm grateful and I love her.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: So like I stand up in real life.
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: This is kind of cut in the movie, but in real life I stood up to give my dad a hug and then he said to me sit back down, I'm not done.
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: And then my dad just started rolling through the things in life that parkinson's has brought his way.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: That would not have been brought his way otherwise.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: He laid out about 15 things that happened in his life because of Parkinson's disease.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: One of them was I'm grateful for the handicapped spot.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: He said, john, everywhere we go we are like VIPs.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: Man, red carpet rolled out to our vehicle.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: Aren't we lucky?
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: Aren't we lucky?
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: Aren't we lucky?
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: What a radical way to go through the storm to recognize, in the midst of the darkness and the fear and the agony, there's reason to celebrate, to dance and to rejoice.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: Aren't we lucky, aren't we blessed?
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: The final thing, I'll say around this when my father passed away this is just eight weeks ago when my father passed away, his wife was with him.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: He had six kids around him, 23 grandbabies at his home and this goofy grin on his face.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: When I drove home that night and I was still mad, like you, I felt tension in the way you framed the question.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: I'm mad.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: And my son, henry, who's 15, he says to me and the kids in the car you know what, dad?
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: What a great way to die and I was so mad because my dad deserved better.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: And yet my son saw so clearly what my dad saw so clearly.
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: My dad died well because he lived that way.
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: So he died in joy, because he chose gratitude.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: All of this to say for those of you struggling, and who isn't me too the best way I can tone, kind of turn our attention to what we actually have that life can't take away, is to ask the question each morning as the sun rises why me?
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: Just look east, watch the light cut through the darkness and say God, why me?
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: But rather than having your fist clenched in anger, ready to fight more, you already wrestled.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: Now it's time to say God, why me?
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: Like, what are you doing here?
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: What can I learn here?
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: How can I grow here?
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: What can I learn here?
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: How can I grow here?
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: How can I grow my faith and my singleness and my marriage and my compassion and my desire to do more in my life and knowledge and wisdom?
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: Why me?
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: And asking that question, like my sweet dad did for decades.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: It doesn't change Parkinson's disease or death.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: It just brings joy to us on the journey toward it.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, why me?
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: Two words that, depending upon the emotion behind it, have two totally different weights.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: Why me?
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: This isn't fair, this feels hard.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: Or why me?
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: What can I learn?
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: Who can I bless?
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: Where can I see you?
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: That's so powerful, john and man, your sweet son.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: Right, sometimes it takes the faith of a child.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: They see it with a different perspective and it was very clear the whole world that follows you and watches how beautifully you write and talk about your mom, I can say the same thing about my mom.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: To watch my mom step into that with just agape love, like no leaving, no selfishness, just Christ-like love, is a powerful thing for us to witness, and my dad reminds me so much of your dad, ben.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: Just to be able to see just the joy of the Lord, even in the destruction of the disease, is a super powerful thing.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: So thank you for sharing that.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: Well, I feel like I could just keep talking to you for hours and hours.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: I want you to be able to tell the audience just a little bit about how, when, where they can get in front of your movie coming out here just in a few short weeks.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: I am so honored I will be October 2nd in St Louis at the premiere.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to be there and just excited for every single person.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: If you are listening to this right now, you're going to go to your computer, you're going to type in soulonfiremoviecom and you're going to go pre-buy your tickets.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: You're going to look at doing a private screening before that.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: Even John, where can people find out and go see this movie on October 10th?
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: That is so awesome.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: How bold you are.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: You remind me of my sister.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: There are no choices.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: You will.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: You will go to soulonfiremoviecom, you will get your pre-ticket, you will consider renting out an entire theater.
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: So I want to thank you for your boldness on that.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: Nikki, that is where you can learn more.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: It's soulonfiremoviecom.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: It turns out that Hollywood's a democracy and for generations now we have been glorifying and celebrating things that ultimately don't glorify and celebrate what matters most in life.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: And I'll purposely be as vague as possible, but when you look at the blockbuster films, they're all fiction.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: They're all people who fly, they're all people who wear armor, they're all people who curse and behave in ways that you would not want your kids to.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: That's what Hollywood gives us and we blame Hollywood.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: But here's the deal.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: Family, it's a democracy.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: They give us what we want, and right now this is partially about the film, it's partially about pushing back against that version of society.
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: I want Hollywood to start giving us what we need, and this film celebrates love.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a baseball movie.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: I guess it's a fire movie.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: Only sort of it's a family movie.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: Definitely it's a love story.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: Completely it's a baseball movie.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: I guess it's a fire movie only sort of it's a family movie.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: Definitely it's a love story completely.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: It's a selfless act of kindness for others, story all over, but it's God's hand working through seeming the least among us in mighty ways and it's a true story.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: And I think as we get out there and recognize that in our own lives, holly will give us more of that and we'll begin to change the world for good.
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: So I'm begging your leaders to go out and check out Soul on Fire, not only for an incredible film experience, but also it will give us more experiences like this in the future.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: So that's one thing I want to say.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: Second, the first time I viewed this wasn't at the great grand premiere where you will be.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: It wasn't in Hollywood.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: The very first time I viewed it as a final product was in St Louis.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: A client was considering filling theaters with 3,000 people to bring in their entire workforce to watch Soul on Fire, but they wanted to see it ahead of time.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: So I brought in the leadership team, we rented out a little theater and then at the last minute, nikki, I said to my mom and dad would you guys like to join us?
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: This is early May, would you like to join us.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: You know, I knew they'd be at the premiere with you in October.
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: I knew they'd go with friends to theaters, but I kept feeling this tug on my heart like let's just bring your parents, john, let them get that little sneak peek.
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: So I happened to sit next to my dad and he held my hand the entire time.
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: And when your dad's alive or your mom's alive, your children are alive.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: You probably take that for granted.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: I did so.
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: He held onto my hand the entire time.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: And then the film ends and people start applauding.
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: The lights go up and I lean to my dad what do you think about your movie?
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: Dad, yeah, it's my movie.
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: I guess it is our movie.
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: This is our story.
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: So I said dad, what do you think about your movie?
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: And my sweet dad with three decades of Parkinson's leans back and whispers what?
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: a gift, what a gift, what a gift.
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: And I don't think it was the first review of Soul on Fire.
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: I think what he was recognizing is that this difficult journey of Parkinson's and two house fires and depression among some of his kids and divorce in our family with one of his kids, and difficulties we face along the way financially and emotionally and physically and in all aspects of life, including this kid getting burned terribly was all redeemed, all of it, like every bit of it.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: And so my dad leans over and says what a gift.
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: We get him back into his wheelchair, back into the car.
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: He goes home, a couple days later, comes down with a cough, a couple days later he becomes completely nonverbal and a few days later he's called home.
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: One of the last sentences I ever heard from my dad, with his hand in mine, was what a gift.
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: So you might be asking, john, what do you hope people leave with?
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: Is it to know how great you are as a speaker?
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: No, is it to learn how many baseballs you collected as a kid?
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: No, it's.
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: When they leave, they will recognize, in spite of the struggles they faced, face and will face, that God works through it all, that their best is yet to come and they can proclaim as they walk or roll back out to their cars what a gift.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: So, nikki, my hope is that no one leaves thinking John's the hero of the story or podcast, that they walk out of this room knowing they are and they're called to do more with it.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: Love does.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: Let's move forward together.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: Wow, thank you, john.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: Wow, listeners, if you don't yeah, I don't know if you don't get off this podcast and take action.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: That's on you.
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: And this is a call to action.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: It's an actual call to action, like you said, to fight against Hollywood, to step into people's life, even if it means silently sitting in a room and grading papers, if it means dropping something off at the front porch without even ringing the doorbell.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: Standing next to the person that maybe looks different, is at a different advantage to life than we are, and just being there and carrying the bag through the airport or helping with the groceries.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: It's about living with gratitude so that true joy can come and the mundane no longer is mundane.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: But it's the miracle of our days, it's the leading to the next thing, and I mean, john, just the wealth of I don't even want to call it knowledge, but just the wealth of I don't even know what the word is that I want just conviction to live better, to treat ourselves better, to see ourselves the way God sees us, to step into the pain so that we can come out stronger from the fire.
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: And man.
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: Order the book, you guys.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: In the notes of the show we will put the links to the movie, to the books both books In Awe and On Fire and the podcast.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: You need more of John's wisdom in your life, of his humility, and so there's a lot of places you can go get that from right inside your home.
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: But on October 10th, 11th, 12th and 13th, we need you in the theaters, we need your family to see the movie.
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: Kids Will Be Inspired.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: My son, after watching that here in our home, he came upstairs just the other night and he was a weeping mess and it was for a lot of things.
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: He said, mom, I've never cried so much in a movie and I think a lot of it was about his grandpa.
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: Right, he's struggling with watching that.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: He's watching a kid.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: That's kind of his age.
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: My son is 15.
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: We whine about little things, not starting on the basketball team or not, this or not that, and then you see a kid that's in a closet getting his legs stretched because of the pain, and it's safe to scream in that small space.
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: And all of a sudden, my heart although we all have heart it just takes on a different image when you can walk in somebody else's shoes.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: And so thank you, john, for inspiring us, for inspiring us to take the pain and the scars and to put it into the light so that we can be difference makers.
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: I just, I pray, just unbelievable blessings on this film.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: I pray that what's going to happen in the next two months, that in two months you're going to be sitting with your sweet Beth and your kids and your family and you are going to be in complete awe of what God did with the story, with the obedience, with the hard work, and we're just going to pray that all over this film and all over your family, for your sweet mom as she's navigating these new chapters.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: And we are just grateful to have you in our lives and I call you a friend and so, john, this is like the nicest podcast exit I've ever been part of and I hope it doesn't end so just keep going.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: Perfect, we'll just keep it rolling.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: And this is not chat, gpt, because I'm just looking at you, but it's from my heart.
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: And when I sat down four years ago, just me and God and a journal on the back porch, dreaming about a podcast, asking him to bless it, to be obedient for it to be about him and nothing else, there was five names that I wrote down that were under dream guest, and your name was at the very top, and so I didn't even reach out to you.
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: This came through somebody else and that's how I know that it was God-ordained and that our listeners—I was meant to have this time with you.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: God knew there were things in my heart I needed to have and there's listeners that are listening that God knew there was things in my heart I needed to have, and there's listeners that are listening that God knew, whatever it was.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's the little thing about, say, the name of the kid who's gone.
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's the one thing that somebody is going to take away, or date your wife, fall in love with your wife, keep.
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, there are so many nuggets.
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: We could just now recap the whole podcast in another podcast.
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: But go back, listen again, take notes, but then, most importantly, take action.
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: So, john, any final notes before we sign off.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: Oh man, you know you were saying, john, you've inspired us and you gave me more praise than I've earned.
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: What you need to hear as you leave this is John struggled in school.
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: John struggled with self-worth.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: John struggled with finances.
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: John struggled with belief.
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: John struggled with self-worth.
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: John struggled with finances.
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: John struggled with belief.
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: John struggled in his faith.
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: John struggled and struggled in confidence.
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: But God has somehow worked through this very messy, broken story to proclaim that if God chooses, god can use whoever whenever God wants, always.
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: And if that's true and I know it to be true because I'm living it If that's true, it's true in my life, it's true in Nikki's life, it's true in your life.
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: So the good news today is not John O'Leary survived a fire and has a movie coming out.
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: The good news today is your best days are in front of you because God's going to work through your life.
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: That ought to bring such peace and in the midst of my own storms, it's the only thing that keeps me going.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: So I hope today, like that's what you wrote down in your journal and I'm emotional thinking about it.
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: So go, proclaim the good news through your life.
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: So good Listeners.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: I know that you've been moved and we are so grateful that you've taken this hour to sit with us and just to soak in.
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: God brings people into our lives for a reason in a season and to motivate us.
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: I believe he uses others to push us towards the next thing that he has for us, and so, as you sign off today, just know that we are so glad that you are part of the community here.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: At A Heart that Beats for Home.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: We're grateful that you show up every single week Until next week.
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: Friends, take care.