Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #70 UFC Dad Alex Volkanovski On Why Parenting Is Tougher Than The Octagon

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#70 UFC Dad Alex Volkanovski On Why Parenting Is Tougher Than The Octagon · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Maddie Jay, what day is it?
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Well, Ash, it is bonus episode day, my friend, we
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: have none other than former UFC Featherweight World champ Alex Volkanovski.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Yes, he is known as Alexander the Great in the Octagon,
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: but he's also a doting father to three young girls,
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: Ariana early en Rain who is eight months old.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's married to his high school sweetheart Emma
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: back in twenty twelve when they have been together for
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: almost twenty years. But he was a bit of a
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: surprise package old Vulcan.
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: He's a ball of energy, which is great.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Lovable energy as well.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: I was a little bit intimidated at first at first,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: but then I soon realized he's just a lovable man
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: who could kill me three seconds, but lovable nonetheless.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Yes, the Vulgan welcomed us with open arms and put
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: us both in an armbar. So please enjoy this episode
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: at your own risk.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to three doting dads.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: I'm Maddie Jay, I'm Ash.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: And I'm Alexander the Great. Volkanovsky just rolls off and
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: mailed it.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: This is a podcast all about parenting.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: It's the good, the bad.
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: And the relatable.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Volk do you think today will we have any advice
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: parenting advice from yourself?
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I mean, like you said, be relatable, mate, every parent
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: is going to have a lot of the same problems
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: and you're going to be all right.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Well, I think if you're going to take advice from anyone,
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: it's going to be for champion.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure. I guess, like how to check one
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: of these kids out? Must have been out there.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: In terms of.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Advice, I want to go.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: I want to go back in time a little bit
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: to it to a young Vulk.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: A young Volk. What was it like? You're still young girl?
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: We all we go over this every a younger.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: I'm talking like child six, seven, eight nine. If you
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: can cast your memory back that far.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Look, I'll be honest with yeah, it's always been like
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: this because a lot of every time I told you,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I'm like terrible with memory. I don't remember much as
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: a kid and all that, to be quite honest, and
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: that was before my last two KOs as well. Every
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: time I try and tell people that, especially lately about
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: to have the oh yeah, don't have that, I'm like,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, this has always been like this, by the way,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: but I don't.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: Remember too much when you think about your household. Yes,
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: a Greek Macedonian household growing.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Up, Okay, yeah, I can get Was it relaxed?
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Was it strict? What do you remember?
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I reckon pretty relaxed. Yeah, I wouldn't say strict. I
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: mean I think every I mean the days were different,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: you know, to now obviously you know we we'll probably
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: raise a little bit different as to how you could
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: raise now, I guess you could say.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: But would wouldn't spoon?
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: What was I What was the punishment in a Greek
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: macedony my.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: The cutlery drawer? I was, I was a wooden spoon with.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Me before from my parents under the bus? Did all
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: our parents give us? You know?
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I hit our wooden spoon and then's got the
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: hard plastic spoon.
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: Absolutely regretted doing that.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Because my my mom and dad, like my biggest fans
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: are we watching this, They watch everything watching it. So
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I wanted to make sure see under the bus all right,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: so you'll be all right? But yeah, I mean, yeah,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: a bit of everything, whatever whatever it is. But I mean,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: like I was, never was never too bad. But I mean,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: if we deserved it, we deserve it.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Was there a good cop and a bad cop between.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Your mum and your dad. Yeah, you could say that. Yeah,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: who was good obviously was always going to be you
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: to your dad gets home.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I imagine I look at you now as a man
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: of discipline. Very Were you a disciplined, well behaved young child.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I was. Man, it's a that's a
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: funny one. I always thought that I was a pretty
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: good kid, like I was never too naughty or anything.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: But then I start telling people stories, like like go back.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I remember leaving the last camp. We had a few people,
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: and then the stories came out because that my brother
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: and some of his mates. And then I was telling
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: people some stories. And then I'm like trying to explain
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: to these guys because there was a lot of stories
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: and you'd think that I was a mongrel of a kid.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: But I'm like, I'm trying to tell it wasn't like that.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: But there was plenty of stories.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: Which one were you telling in the last camp?
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: Does anything stand out?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Oh? Mate, there's there's plenty of them. This some that
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I can't say, you know what I mean, there's somebody
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: you can't say, but just just a lot of them.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Obviously been young. I've never been like even when it
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: comes to even fighting stories, things that I'm not proud of.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: And I've never been the type of star drama or
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: anything like that, but it was just where we lived
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: and all that, like just it refined you here and
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: then I would always stand up for myself. So even
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: just telling them stories like so many of them. I
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: remember my uncle coming over one sucker. My parents must
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: have been on a holiday. It was a school night
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: and I had a party the night before, and and
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I remember my uncle coming and I was drunk still.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I think he come early in the morning and he's
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: like Alex, my uncle fia and he's like, from Alex, hey, Alex,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: ma lucka, what are you doing? Like a wake up?
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: And then I'm like, what's going on? Didn't know I
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: was going. I just supposed to be the boys time.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I don't remember, so I ended up just opening the window.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I'm like discussing malacca, no a bit of Greek words
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: or my luck is like it's like a shut up
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: or some blood. It's just a maluca. Everyone though, everyone
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: says that it's just it's like a I think you're
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: allowed of that. That's probably the tamest one I'll tell
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: you there's plenty more, but we don't need to know
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: about them. And then I wasn't that bad. I'm probably
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: my back on my heritage.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: It's pretty boring for me, Like my dad is Australian,
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: my mum as well, but there's not really like we
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: don't have any traditions growing up. What was it like
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: for you? Was it was something that your heritage you're
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: always really proud of.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, there's a okay, so I'm my dad's Macedonian,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: mother's Greek, so some of you would know a lot
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: of people listening and like you could imagine you could
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: the Greeks and the Macedonians going at it. Yeah, and
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I just sit on the fence. I always do with everything.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: But I mean one thing that was funniest because obviously
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: I was always known, as I told you, being where
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I grew up from, I was always known to be
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: able to fight, yeah, and then have.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Your Aussie champ wrestler.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah I was a wrestler as well, Yes, a national
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: champion or wrestler, but played rugby league and that I
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: just start mmat was twenty two years old, Yeah I was. Yeah,
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: So I was known for a bit of that. So
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: then I had my uncles and my dad and all
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: they were going, no, it's a you know, Macedonian blood,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: it's his Greek blood. And all they would ever do
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: is just talk because they're the Greeks and that that's
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: all they will talking about was just fighting wars, war
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: stories and whatnot. So obviously me, me and my brother
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: growing up, they could they loved it, and they would
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: always try and claim from both sides that that's that's
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: usually a barbecue was I'm not even going to say
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: some of it because it's I mean, you you put
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: this out. You wait till you see the comments, all
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: loving love, all love against each other.
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: They're always trying to claim credit for you, aren't they.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I just try and sit there and say
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I'm Macedonian. I'm great, you know, leave me out. It's
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: still it's still on.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: You know, let's let's put it to bed.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I love you. I leave it at that.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: And which is your favorite?
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Which is my favorite? On the fence the fence.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: Do you ever catch yourself going, oh my god, I
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: sound like my dad.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's a there's noises that you're going to make, right,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Like I think I know I probably did. It's like
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: something like that, just little things like that that you're doing.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I'll notice, yeah, exactly, Like I don't even know if
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I need to do it. Brokely is that it's just
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: through growing up.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: And you met your your now wife Emma when you
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: were quite young. Do you think it was that bad
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: boy image that you might have had.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: I never had. I'm trying. I'm trying to show these
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: people wasn't like that. I'm not joking. I'm joking. No, No,
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Think so, Like did that help when you were trying
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: to get her attention?
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Do you think I don't know, Yeah, high school I've
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: been so yeah, well yeah, high school sweet fifteen, sixteen
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: years old? Yeah, so very yeah, very young. We've been
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: each other, been with each other since then. I don't know.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Maybe I don't. I don't know. I was like, I
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: was as tall as I am now. Then then I
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: grew I grew early, so you know, I just stopped growing.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: What was it about Emma that you liked that you
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: were attracted to initially as as a young man.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: As a young man, she was a female. Yeah, it
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: looks I guess you could say, like it's pretty simple
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: then but then obviously, yeah, as you grow, and then
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: obviously you end up learning more and more about each other.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: But yeah, like it's crazy when you think about it
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: that we have fifteen years old. Yeah you know, I
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: mean been together ever since, and you've played.
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: Separable ever since. Oh my goodness, you went to the
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: same high school.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: So I always say she actually reckoned. She didn't follow
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: me to my school.
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: But so there is a sorry.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: So we ended up we end up making out at
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: under eighteen's disco, and then it wasn't longer until she
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: come to our school. But so I think she had
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: dramas at our old school and they come to our school.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: She'll tell her that she had to. I'll say she
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: followed me. Maybe it was a bad boy. She just
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: couldn't resist.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: You know how old when you got married.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: I would have been twenty three years old. I think
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: it was.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for a lot of people, I think when it
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: when they look at their timeline of their life and
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: they think when it is going to be the right
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: time to have kids. You know, you think you'd been
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: married for a while, you've got a secure job, when
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: everything's like settled down, then it's the right time to
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: start a family. I guess your timeline's a little bit
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: different because having kids came at a time when there
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: was a bit of uncertainty because you were so new
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: in your career of being a fighter. How did the
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: conversation come about with them about when was the right
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: time to start a family.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: That was a tough one because as you said, you know,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I wasn't a world champion this whole time, right, so,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: and when I wasn't in the UFC. And even when
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: you're in the UFC, like a lot of people think
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: you're in the UFC, you've made it, You've got a
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: lot of money. It's not how it is, especially in
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: the early stages of UFC, but in the local scene
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: it was hard work. So you know, you're fighting for
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: not very much at all, and it's a you know,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: you're chasing the dream, and like you know, so it
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: was a big commitment for her to chase the you know,
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: to let me chase the dream put everything on hold.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: And then one thing that was hardest for me was
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I always I made a because I was always trying
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: to know I think we'll wait, I want to know,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: wait to a bit more setting. You know, then it's
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: just like, when are we ever going to be you
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: know ready? You know that's that's sort of them conversations
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: that I was trying to drag it out because I
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: wanted to. I made a promise to myself that I've
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: been in the UFC before I had Arianna. Well, I
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: had my first born and that didn't happen, So that
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: was it was a promise to myself that I guess
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: you could say I failed, So that stung a little bit.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Was there something that you can attribute it to?
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Was it a man? It's just like I was the
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: best in Australia at the time. You know, I was
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: a world champion at the time as well in other organizations,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: big winning tricks. I was doing all the right stuff.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Even I knew I should be in the UFC, but
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: at that stage there was a lot of people on
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: the roster and they didn't just sign people like it's
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: just so I would make sure I was ready. So
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: you're struggling financially, and I mean for two years straight,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I was pretty much in camp because I was just
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: waiting because this is the opportunity to get in the UFC.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: You know, you would have to wait for an opportunity
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: where someone would get injured and it would be a
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: late notice, so I would make sure I was ready,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: already around for that. So I'd always and always wanted
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: to be in featherweight and all that. So I would
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: even have fights the same time as UFC would come
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: to Autrawlier and make sure I was find the same time.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: So I was in camp, I was, my weight was down,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: so if a featherweight fight, you know, someone pulled out,
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: I can jump in. Just things like that. I was
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: doing that for like two years, just came fully committed
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: to You could imagine me weight cutting for two years
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: straight and that you know, you're probably a miserable husband
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: and that as well. Like you know you're weight cutting,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: you're obviously going to be irritated easily.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: And for people who aren't familiar with weight cutting, we're
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: not just talking like two or four kilograms on average.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: How much are you trying to lose?
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, you know a fight week, I would
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: lose in a way from five to seven kilograms in
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: one week. In one week. Yeah, yeah, so you can
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: love that. A lot of people saying that, well, teach
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: me how to lose seven now I can. It's just
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: all water though, at that's a water, but keeping my
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: weight and I love food obviously, being a European, being
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Macedonian Greek, we love our food. So eyone loves food,
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: that's just the universal in it. But I love my
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: food and to diet that whole time and make sure
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I was out of weight where I could make the
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: featherweight division, you know, and why you're training, You've got
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: to remember the dieting like that with the workload that
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: I had, and at that time I was still working.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: I was concreting and trying to be a full time
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: fighter as well. So I would like go to work
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: in the morning and then go do a session, go
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: back to work, and then do another two sessions in
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: the afternoon.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: I can't imagine how stressful it would have been for
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: Eaty exactly.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: And then at that time, I didn't have a nutritionus
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: like you know, you were on your own.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: I'll caveat this question say that being a dad having
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: kids is amazing, But at the same time, I'm going
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: to start with that it's really bloody hard, Like it
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: changes your life and you've got to dedicate so much
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: time and energy to someone else. Now, so how hard
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: was it for you? You haven't accomplished your dream. You've
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: then got a little child in the mix, Like, how
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: are you managing all of this?
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a yeah, well let's see it. It's hard work.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: But it's hard work for for anybody, especially if you can. Yeah.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: But in saying that I'm not concreting full time and
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: then training before and after.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's you're being very well that's the thing for
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: me at the time. I don't know, you know, maybe
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: it was the way I was raised, or I just
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I've always had in my head that you just do it,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, find a way, figure it out,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: and just just do it, you know what i mean,
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: just the you know, the Nike sign, just do it
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: like that's just sort of how I was. Things would
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: get tough, but I'd be like, I have to do it,
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: like it's weird, it's a it comes down. I don't
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: know where I got that from, because I was never
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: really I wouldn't say if someone taught it to me,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: and I was taught about all mindset, oh yeah, mindset,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: being resilient. I didn't even know what resilient meant back then.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: And you know what I mean, there's words that I
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: like the conversations I have now about it. I had
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: no idea.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: That when I became a dad. I think one of
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: the biggest changes that I felt to myself was that
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: I became a lot softer. Oh you know, I probably
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: cried more since being a dad than my whole teenage years.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: As an adult, I would think that being a professional fighter,
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: you've got to have a level of aggression when you're
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: in the ring. Did having a dad did it soften
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: you at all? Did it help or hinder?
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Because I've never thought with anger though, so a lot
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: of people do. They try and fight themselves up and
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: I've never been like that. But having the kid, for me,
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: it was it definitely didn't make me something. It made
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: me more motivated, right, So I had, you know, I had,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I had something to fight for. Yeah, to be honest,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: But you're right with everything else, because before I was
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: a dad, you'd see me jumping off cliffs and you know,
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: snowboard and trying backflips, like I would try all that
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: stuff and then you know, I didn't care, but had
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: been a dad, and then obviously in my career is
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: like now I'm like scared. I was scared to do anything. Yeah,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: right now. I was like, I can't afford to get injured,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And then I see danger everywhere,
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: like I mean, you know, especially with the little toddler
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: walking around like you know, helicopter dad seeing danger everywhere,
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Say now like I'm like, oh,
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, I better not do that.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: See but you talk about like what's dangerous like jumping
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: off a cliff or trying to do a bat salt
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: on a snowboard, I would say, what's dangerous is being
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: in the ring. Like do you ever have that thought then,
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: like before you're going, say five minutes before the five starts,
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: and you're thinking, I don't want to get injured for
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: my daughter?
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Do do you have to kind of block that out? Yeah?
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: I don't look at it that way. I look at
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: it as, yeah, it's not something that i'm you know,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: obviously it is something that could happen. But I was
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: willing to do whatever it took to get that paycheck.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: So if I did get injured, if i'd you know
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: that that's so big it.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: You've got three girls, do you see the personality differences
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: between your eldest, your second, your youngest is really quite young.
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: So they might not that personality.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but are they like.
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: You and they like your why you know.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Whether they deal with things completely different, which is surprising.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: Where one would be a bit more emotional where the
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: other is you could probably say a little bit more
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: more like me. So even instead of her crying or
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: say we're playing soccer and that, instead of her crying
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: and that, she just gets angry and like that. Yeah,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: she was like she would sit there and like it
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: like this, and I'm like trying to pull off. She
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: won't get off. She just wants to get back in there.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: And because yeah she was she's actually quite quite athletic,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: and but yeah, she would just get smashed like some
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: of the boys just slide tackling. I remember one game
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: she was getting axed and she would like getting hurt,
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: so she would be a little bit of like tears
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: because she was hurt, but she was angry like and
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: then that's where a lot of the the tears were
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: coming from. Puss angry wanted to get them back. So
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to get her off because her time to
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: come off, she wouldn't come off, and she's like I'm
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: going to get these like It't that angry. So it's
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: good though, right, A lot of people like, you know,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: she was not like that where they're probably a little
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: bit different. They're both quite resilient in that sense. Maybe
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: I rub off in a sense where even my oldest
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: even though she can be more emotional with different things,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: but when it comes to like I remember doing cross
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: country and while she was like running, she had a stitch.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: I remember seeing it like five hundred meters away and
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: she's balling her eyes out, and I'm like, what's going on?
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: She had a stitch the whole time, but just sold
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: it on and kept going. I'm like, that was good.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I was thinking these poor parents on the sideline, thinking
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: of that to a kid, like don't slide tackle Volk's daughter.
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: I like, stay away from that kid. I can't handle
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: the hate, all right?
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: What was hard of the transition from one to two
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: or two to three?
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Two to three? Yeah, two to three. I don't know why.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Maybe it was just a big gap.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: Why was there such a big gap?
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know, just I mean that has we all
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: know it's hard. You know it's hard. And had the
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: two and then I was just like I didn't think
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I was ready for a third, like obviously it's it's
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: it's hard to explain. Well, I just were like, look,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I want to make sure. I'm I was always waiting
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: to be in a better position financially and all that,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: even when things were going well, I know we could
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: be in a better position. I don't want to to, yeah,
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: interfere with things too much right now, like because going
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: through them early stages it's hard works. Like we've so
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I was. I didn't want the I didn't this sounds bad,
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: but I didn't want the third. I was like, no, no, no, no.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: She just kept going, kept going, And I'm like, man,
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: you want to go through all that again? You're sure
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: you want to do this. I'm trying to reminder, like
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to remind remember how it was. It's like
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: hard workers. I can't like I'm in the prime time,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I can't afford to like
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: when I'm in camp. I'm obviously going to help, but
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: I mean I can't, like I need to commit to
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: to to the fights and like I know, you know,
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to be in a position where
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: I have to commit to my fighting and put a
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: lot of energy there and not have energy, you know,
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: to put as much energy here. So it was hard
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: for me to make that decision, and we did anyway.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: But obviously, you know, very happy, you know, But I'm
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: just trying to be as real as I I wasn't
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: too happy at the start. Like we've we've trying to
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: talk me into. I was like, man, you know, I
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: don't think it's it's a right time. We're in the
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: same boat. It's a tricky one. Obviously, you sit there
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: and I'm you know, you're you're blessed to have a
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: beautiful girls and all that, but it doesn't mean it's
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: it's easy.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: You mentioned earlier that the fightings are easy. Would you
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: say that being a parent is harder than navigating.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: The hundred percent? So fighting And when I say fighting
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: is easy, I mean the fighting compared to the preparation,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: But I mean fighting it is. He's even training. Yeah,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: it's hard work physically and mentally. But I've got that
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: down path, you know what I mean, And that's me
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I've got to control. I can control be very well, but.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: Navigating these humans all the time, to mold these humans
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: to be strong independent women that you know what I mean,
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: and getting.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Ready for the world.
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: You heard it here first. It's harder the meaning usc
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: there you go, it is.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: And especially if you you want to like you care
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: and want to raise them. And the worst part and
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: the hardest thing for me, I'm a fix it now
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: type of person, So I this is the right way
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: or I'm going to fix I'm going to change. I'm
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: going to do it and you're wrong. I'm wrong. Every
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: month I've realized I'm doing it wrong, you know what
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, Like, I don't care what anyone says. You know,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: you go through and every situation, every kid's going to
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: be different. You know, you could probably you know where
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: other things could come into play with you know, you know,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: disabilities obviously, or diagnosis with other things, like you know,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: there's definitely a lot of things that come into playing
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: like oh, you know, you might be strict here and
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: then realize that maybe you could have done things a
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: little bit different and you put it and you feel
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: guilty of you've been doing it wrong the whole time.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: But it's hard work, mate, And for me, again, I'm
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: a fix it now try and do it and I
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: care a lot about that. That's the hardest thing is
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: trying to put energy into that and trying to do
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: the training schedule on that as well. So much more
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: on the plate now, and it got to me, It
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: got to me, it got hard, It really got hard
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: for a little bit there.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: I mean with you know, fight prep and you've got
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: young kids in the house, and young kids go to school,
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: they go to daycare, and they bring things back, they
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: bring germs back.
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: Did you have to avoid them?
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: Because we know, we get the kindy cough, we get
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: someone's got the ships once a month, God, someone ships
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: the bear.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah that can mean like I win or lose potentially. Yeah, yeah,
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: the effect not going to effect is huge.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's yeah, definitely, I'm not going to sit
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: there like you know, even Emma would be sometimes well
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: maybe you've got to go to the because I had
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: to have a fighter house for my training partners and that,
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: and then the wife would like sometimes, well maybe you
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: go to the fighter's house because you've got the runs
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: or whatever it is. But I mean, I couldn't know,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: I couldn't do it. I'll just like I can be
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: a bit of a germophobe, especially in camp. So the
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: gland twenty's out and I mean I'm washing my hands
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: the whole time, and I'm like doing whatever I can
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: and like you know, trying to you know, talk to
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: whatever you can. You know, it's probably not helping, but
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: I'll do it anyway. But yeah, there's a there does
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: definitely get a get tricky and everything just runs through
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: the house, right.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, It's It's funny when you watch it happen
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: and you're like, one's got it because both the mine
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: are at daycare and KINDI same with Matt because we're
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: exactly the same age of the kids. One get gastro
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: and you're like, oh shit, here it comes, and it
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: just works its way through the house. I think one
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: time I got gastro, the kids had it. We thought
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: we were over it, and we all went on holidays
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: and the rest of us got it on holidays.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: And sometimes it's delayed in it. Yeah, like it'll be
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: a few days and you're like, I think we're in
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: the clear. Nope. Family.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Have you picked up any any bugs from the kids
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: whilst you've been in a fight camp?
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. There's definitely things that well, mate,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of in camp training obviously because
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: we were I'll travel with the family. So there's been
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: times where I've been overseas, like traveling and then getting
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: the runs, the little one getting in the runs. Like Arianna,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: I was just arounda at the time. I think we
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: were for the weight cutting though, yeah, you too done.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: So she was like three months so her first holiday
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Thailand was a three months That was pretty pretty early.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: But I remember she ended up having the runs, and
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: then I end up getting the runs and back then
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: again we didn't have money, so we're in this little
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: tiny room. Oh maybe you know, she's changing nappy every
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: couple of minutes and me, I'm running to the toilet
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: every you know it was. It was a nightmare.
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: I have been to the gym with the runs once.
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: Train through no idea.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: If you if you cast your mind back before you
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: became world champ for the first time, did you ever
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: have any conversations like I'm thinking, you know, you're now
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: a dad and you've got a young daughter, you're doing this,
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: you know, fight camps over in Thailand, You've got a
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: sick kid. Did you ever sit down with Emma and
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: go like, I don't know if this is for me.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: I don't know if this is going to happen.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: As in before I was in the UFC. Correct, Yeah, yeah, definitely.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: That was because you could imagine the sport's much bigger
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: now everyone knows most people know what UFC years and
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: that when I was training for it, not many people
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: knew about It wasn't as mainstream stream as it is now,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It wasn't a big deal, no,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: and we didn't have UFC champions and it didn't seem
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: like a path for people to go like. It was
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: not something that was seen like so a lot of people.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: You could imagine like while I was sitting there, we'll struggling,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: like financially. You could imagine the relatives, friends and be like,
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: when's he going to give this? When you fight, when's
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: he going to get back to Yeah, you know, and
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: that's that would happen a lot of times. So it
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: was tough going through that and and I'm trying to
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: be like chasing the dream, and you know, I had
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: the full support from from the wife, but like I said,
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: I made the promise to myself that I would be
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: in the UFC before Marianna was one of the firstborn
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: and that didn't happen. So the pressure was on, and
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I remember there was a time where I almost did
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: give up where I was just went like that, I
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: don't ever like I'm pulling up, so my coach seeing
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: me pull up. I don't know what it was. It
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: muld have been something little at the time, but it
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: was just the pressure got to me where I'm just like,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: what's going on? Like I was meant to be in
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: the UFC. I got told that the UFC were asking
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: for me, and then I had another management company said
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: that I was locked into another contract so that when
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: I got someone else and signed them things like that.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: I went to a point where I'm like, is this
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: just ever going to happen? And I remember rocking up
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: to the gym one time and I was going to
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: go in. My coach see me, and then I'm just
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: like stuff this, I'm going home. I'm lucky. It was
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: for time I've ever did that, and that's not like me.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: It does seem like a big deal. A lot of
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: people probably turn away from the gym, but for me
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: that doesn't happen.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: It kind of might have felt like turning you back
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: on your dream.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: Well it is, it was like that's that's a big
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: sign of you giving up. So you know, even my coach,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Ranked Melby, goes, you're good, what's going on? I seen
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: you pull up and like what happened? And was like
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: you're that quick? Yeah, it was just like it was
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: just me and I was just like this close to
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: just turning back. I didn't. A week later, I end
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: up get a major sponsor to jump on board, and
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: at that time massive deal like you and none of
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: your contracts are giving you that type of money that
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: a major sponsor would then, so I'm like, oh man,
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: this is good. And then the week after that I
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: might go to get the UFC contract. So I went
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: from the lowest point where I was almost going to
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: give up to the highest point.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: You talk about financially, you weren't secure because you're chasing
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: the stream, and you know that in fighting, a win
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: versus a loss is world depart It's like could go
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: left or right, rags are riches almost. So what does
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: it feel like when you do get crowned the new
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: World Champ?
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a there's always a relief. I always get
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: a relief after every every fight. It's because there's so
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: much pressure, like and it's weird, like as I don't.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I don't show the pressure or the you know, it's
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: like I almost block it out that much. I don't
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: even know it's there. Well, especially earlier in my career,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: I just wouldn't let it get in there. But it
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: was like I've got this resilient shield. I have this
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: shield around and I just don't let nothing in. The
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: weight's there, but I ain't letting it in. I ain't
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: letting there be a chinken armor. And then as soon
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: as the fight is done, I can let that shield go.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: What are your thoughts on your girls watching your fire?
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: Do they fully comprehend it and do you let them
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: completely in or is there some things you hold them
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: back from?
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna hold them back. I'm going to give
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: them taste of it as well, but there's obviously going
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: to be a lot that you hold back from. But
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: I mean, they know I'm fighting. I don't think they
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: really watch it. Obviously we're away so they usually with
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: my parents, but I'm not there to in that position,
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: I would be okay for them to watch it.
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: Do they are they interested in doing what Dad does?
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: Not? Really? They want to? I think you know Ariana
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: the older she wants to. She actually loves the drama.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: She wants to be famous, right whatever. She doesn't want
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: to be a fighter. It's fighting, but I mean she
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: likes the glamor and all that, like you know, she
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: wants a piece of all that. But no, not really.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: I think the middle one early, I think she could.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: She could definitely be a fight if she wanted to.
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: Did you wrestle with her often?
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I'm around with them here and there. Yeah, But she's,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: like I said, she's a quite resilient and athletic. And
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: they did do a bit of training night. I'm all
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: for kids doing martial arts because I think it's great
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: for life skills as well.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: I took Oscar down to to jiu jitsu for the
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: first time just to.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: Have a look.
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: Scare the ship out of me.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: It's gone.
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: It's gone. He doesn't want to go back.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: We had a little conversation before the podcast.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: There was one particular injury that took place with one
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: of your daughters, and I think all parents have played
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: with the kids and caused an injury. I definitely have
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: on Laura has always like stopped throwing around like that.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: Accidental of course, of course.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so this happened a couple of times that sounds bad. Yeah,
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: so we've a so the middle one. So I remember
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: what I was over in New Zealand for I think
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: it was for a fight camp, and yeah, so I
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: take them over whenever I do a bit of a traveling.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: A lot of times I'm taking it with me because
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be away for too long. So
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: we're at a park and then I remember there was
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: stairs all the way down at the park and we
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: had to go because I were leaving that day. Were
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: actually not going to fly home that day, and so
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: we're going to go and she's crying. She didn't want
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: to leave, as kids do. I'm like, I've got to go,
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: We've got to go. I'm holding the hand and we're
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: trying to go up and she's trying to pull herself back.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, come on, we're going. And then
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: she ends up like sort of filow, but she's like crying,
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: still crying. I'm like, she's still bloody, carrying on like
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: you know. It's by the time we got to the car,
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: So because she was still crying, I put her in
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: the car. I remember seeing it and then I'm seeing
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: her sort of hold her arm by this, and I'm
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: looking at it. I'm like, she's on her arm with
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I didn't know, maybe it's nothing. She's still
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: going I'm like, check her arm, and i don't know
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: if something's happened. I'm like, you're kidding, Please don't tell me.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I broke her free So I'm sitting there and then
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: I ended up seeing like a Then I realized it
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: was her, and I'm like that would have been for
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: me carrying. I'm like, I broke my kid's arm. How
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: am I going to tell the hospital this? How I'm
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: going to tell people this? I'm like, you're a kid,
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, far out. So I'll go there
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: and like and mind you, we have to be at
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: the airport within the hour or a couple of hours.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: So we're like freaking out, Yeah exactly. We're like, well, man,
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: what's going on? I went to the wrong spot I
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: took her to, like I wanted to drop her off
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: and I was going to find parking. I end up
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: taking to an old folks home. I think she's driving
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: around like trying to find the spot. We're like it's chaos,
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: and I'm like she's bringing back this isn't the place.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: Pick me back up there, I go back up, pick up,
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: go there. She's going and I find a car buck
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: and I run in. And it's quite common. So they
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: can dissicate their elbow a little bit. Some some kids,
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: some kids can be a little more vulnerable there, especially
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: when they're younger. That's why they say never pick them
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: up by their arms, pull them out of the pool
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: and things like that like that, and they say, yeah,
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: you don't do that because this can happen. I'm like,
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: I've been doing this forever, you know what I mean,
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: Like I've been doing this forever. I'm like there's probably
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: loose ligaments from me doing that. Now I'm blaming my
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: song that you know, it's her arms. She's more vulnerable
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: because of the cause of that, because of me. But
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: but yeah, so that happened a couple of times. And
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: then we even had her auntie, so my wife's sister.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: They're on a board bodyboard and like you a pulling
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: her on the bodyboard over here, and like the same
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: thing happened. Had to take her and like we had
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: to tell her like oh, it can be just quite
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: and she's like freaking out, like what I've just it's
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: never happened before. That's all I need. It's happened like
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: the three three times. I think even you know, like yes,
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: so now we look at it look like terrible parents now,
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: so even the wife. So we didn't know that she
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: was going to be more vulnerable than others. We knew
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: that it's common for that to happen, but she was
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: more vulnerable, Like it started being very easy for this
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: to happen. I remember Emma was because Eli was hitting
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: her sister with a thing. And then Emma's like grabbed Ay,
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: that's enough. I pulled it off just from pulling the
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: toy out of her hand. And then she starts crying
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: like going there looking back and then realize, you're kid,
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: these things happened again.
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: It's popped out again.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: It popped out from her taking a toy, so she's
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: not hitting her sister with Like, so, what do you
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: tell is that going? How dare you take that you
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: should let kick? I mean that's paring for you. Yeah,
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: you're damned if you do.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Your dad, it's always at least you treated the injury,
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: if it makes you feel any better. I once broke
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: my arm and my mom thought I was faking it,
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: so I broken off for two days before she came
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: and took it to the doctors. So you're doing a
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: good job.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I've got a story. And I told
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: you that my mom would be watching. I don't know
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: if I want to tell us, she's going to feel terror.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: You can't back out, Sorry, mom, it's not your fault
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: and say, actually, these accidents have accidents. So yeah, exactly.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: So supposedly I was meant to be napping, and as
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: you do, like back then, they didn't have the monitors
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: like we do now, sleeping, you know, you let them
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: go there and sleep, and I think she was in
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: another room and me being I think, like I said,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: I've always been a resilient durbbile fellow. But supposedly a
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: lady's one of my aunties or something was walking past
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: the window and seeing me like half out of my cot,
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: like with my neck just getting my choke like this.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: So I was like getting like a half out, like
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: the cots aren't like as safe as our now as well, sorry, mama,
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, way way. I'm going to thank you for
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: this though. So one second, so I'm in there and
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: then she's like going there. I think it was Monica
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: maybe and end up telling and they've run in and
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: like got me. So I was like hanging out the
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: cot like off with my neck like stuff. With contrast,
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: I was conscious, I was all right, so you know,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: but it was just she thought I was asleep and
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not making any noise noises because I'm just like
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: you just the understanding what do I do? You know
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: what I mean laughing most probably would cry. I just
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: didn't cry. But yeah, so that happened, and you know,
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: she obviously I remember telling the story and like obviously
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: she feels terrible and she's gonna hate me telling the story.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: So I'm quite I'm quite upset that I told this story.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: But now people want to ask me how do I
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: get out of that? Because that one time, Thanks mom,
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: see conditioning from panicing. He can still breathe, you know,
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: just she was trying to make me durable when.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: She was probably watching that have on fold on in
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: the in the he's got this, He's probably she was
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: probably the only person going We've been training for this, We've.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: Been training this for thirty years. Some of these things
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: happened to me A couple of times. I remember, and
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: again this is not her fault. I remember we're walking
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: on a on a train and the gaps between the
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: trains used to be a bit bigger. Oh yeah, I remember, yeah,
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: I remember walking. I felt like straight I fell straight down.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: Don't know how my head didn't get caught for one
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: could have been really bad. And I was stuck under
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: the train for a bit. Everyone's trying to stop them,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: and that they're like trying to get me out. They
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: end up getting me up anyway.
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: But that picked the wrong guy to try and choke it.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: I probably should have added, oh you stangling on my negger.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: I don't want to lie, but I mean, yeah, there's
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: been a couple of little stories like that, So now
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: you know why I've got good choke defense.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: Well with your kids now, coming from a place where
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: you had to and I think it's probably just the
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: environment that you were brought up in having that resilience,
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: how do you try and instill that resilience in your
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: kids now?
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: I mean that's it's hard, right like, because it's you
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: can't expect to you know, you can't expect to kids
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: or everyone to be able to deal with things. How
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: you lucky we do or like or how why did It's.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: Hard because I came from a background, single mom, one
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: of five kids. If I wanted a new pair of shoes,
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: I'd have to wait for my brother to go out
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: of them, Whereas my daughter now, if she wants a
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: new pair of shoes, I'm like, let's get to us.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: But of course, why wouldn't I want to provide.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: You because I want to give you, you know, the
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: life that I didn't get to have.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: But we want to balance here, don't we. Yeah, that's
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: the problem. I think, Yes, I'm the same, so I try, Yeah, exactly,
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: So they're the I feel like I don't want to
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: give them what I can give him right now, because
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: you know I want again, I wouldn't want them to
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: be spoiled and not be able to deal with things
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: later in life, you know what I mean, Because you've
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: got to get him ready for that. But then I
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: feel like I can be too much on one end, yeah,
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: and then yeah, and then I'm like, oh no, maybe
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: I'm being too much to go this way. And now
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: I'll do mixed messages, mixed I'll.
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: Get to like the end of the day, and it's
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: like Oscar, we're at the shops and he's got like
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: three things that I you know, I've just gone, Okay, yeah,
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: why not, I can I can get these for you.
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: And then as I get to the end of the day,
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: like he's going to get spots, I need to try
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: and cut him down somehow. I'll you can't have that,
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: your sister resilient.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: That's what I mean. It's it's so hard, like you
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: want to you want to try and find the balance
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: here and yeah, and then like you just you think
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: this way is better for a bit, and then a
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: month later you're like, on, I think, you know, in
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: this case, I might be able to should treat this differently.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: And that's mixed messaging again, And I mean like, and
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: then I feel like I failed because I've been doing
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: it wrong this whole time, and I find it out
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: I did it wrong again, like a parent. Isn't easy,
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: especially when you're But I mean, one thing I can say,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: if you are having them pressures, you're putting them pressures
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: on yourself and you're feeling guilty and all that, at
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: least you care, at least you're trying. At least you're
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: trying to do something, you know what I mean. There's
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: I guarantee there's going to be parents out there that
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: aren't trying. They're just like whatever's easiest. It's hard work.
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: I love the messaging is like it's like, just do
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: the best you can.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: Right, Yes, Because I was talking to my mum last
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: night and this conversation come up when I was talking
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: about you know, you put that pressure and like she's like,
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: stop putting pressure on yourself, like you know, he's doing
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: a great job, and blah blah blah. It's like, you know,
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: and then they're like, you want like and there's going
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: to come age where they're just going to have to
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: figure it out themselves. I go, yeah, but I want
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: to mold them into you know, I want them to
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: be in a better position, the best position possible for
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: them to figure things out.
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: For sure. You talked before about that guilt of a parent,
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: and I don't know if this is something that you
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: have to deal with. But when you're in a training
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: camp and you've got to be so focused on the fight,
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: do you ever have to deal internally with the guilt
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: that your work takes you away from the family.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: Well, I've never let it take me away too much.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: So that's why I've always It's always just been fighting
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: in family to me. So one thing that was harder
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: for me was being myself. I never had time to
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: just be myself, so I was always fighter or dad
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: and whatever energy I could give to the femis like
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: it would be obviously a type of energy that obviously
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: I'm still going to do things with them, but I
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: mean it's gonna I've got to be calculated with that
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: energy because I know I've got to do another two
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: sessions in the afternoon with a calorie deficit, so I'm
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: trying to you know, I can't just sit there and
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: take them here and like yesterday are you know, I'm
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: running around here and there, Like I don't have the
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: time of the day when I'm in camp to do that.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: Now I do, and I don't have the energy to
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: do that. So I've got to be a lot more
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: calculated in that sense. But I mean, it never gave
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: me more time for other things. So one thing that
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: I'm proud of and I'm glad I always made sure
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: that it was fighting and family, so I was always
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: able to fit them to in.
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: Are you finding that your time now that you've got
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: You've decided to say like, I've never been so free.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: I feel like it. At first, it was weird. I
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: just lost my world title that I had for almost
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: four and a half years, just lost it within a
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: week or two. I felt so free and happy. I'm like,
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: how is this happened? I just lost two weeks ago?
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: I lost interesting, it was weird. I was just like,
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: big weight left off my shoulders. All right, I don't
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: need to train in the afternoon. Let's go all out,
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: Let's go. They must love they must love having it. Oh, yeah,
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: for sure. So it was great even on the holiday,
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: not feeling guilty. I should be training. I should be here.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Are your kids?
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: Like, dad, leave us alone? They love it? They love it.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: I said, the energy was always put engineer, But I
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: mean I could just do so much more with it.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: Now you get a bit more energy. Now, maybe you
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: could have a fourth maybe now I'm done.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: It's funny. It's a I'm worried about doing that and losing.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's going to face with my fighting,
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: right yeah, So I'm like, what if that interferes with
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: some better Okay, yeah, better fighter, Okay, much better pillow fighter. No,
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: I mean it's yeah, now, I'm done. It's funny. I think,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: when did I say this? Like I said this stuff?
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: I said, I've said this to exactly I did. But
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: I said that I'm tapping out. I don't tap out
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: to march, I don't tap o anything, but I'm tapping
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: out to have a trying another. But I remember saying
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: that that's that brings another funny story with my kids.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: I remember, it's just it's short of shows. When you're
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: asking how do you try and train them to be
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: like resilient and all that, I think it's just going
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: to rub off in how I am so so I
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: remember I end up saying I don't know what it
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: was for. I don't know what we're doing. Something was
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: happening there they were going, and then I'm like, oh no, no, no,
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: I give up. I said something like I give up,
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: or you know, I give up. I can't do it
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: like that. And then my little one here she goes Daddy.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: I couldn't believe that I said I give up. I
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: swore Daddy was upset that up. Yeah, yeah, okay, there
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: you go. I'm doing something right here, you know what
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: I mean? So I must be rubbing off.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: My last question is when you are an old man
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: and a much older man, you know, when you got
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: I was gonna say gray hair, but.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: I'm going to let people see it.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: But when you were a much older man and your
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: children have grown up, they've left home, what do you
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: want them to remember about the house that they grew
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: up in?
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mmm. Good question.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: It's a hard one to end.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: It's a good question because I'm always looking at it
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: where I want them to be ready for this. I'm
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: always looking, as you know, putting them in the best position.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: But how do I want to look at it this way?
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: It's obviously times change, people are you know how parenting
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: was back in the day we growing up. But I
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: know that, so I don't look at it. When I
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: look back at it, I know they did the best
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: thing they could in them times and what and then
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So I just hope that
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: if I did do things wrong or some I hope
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: they knew that. I just we try that best, and
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: I tried.
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: You know, thank you for allowing us to come into
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: your home at all.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: I thank you. Definitely definitely different obviously, again, as we
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: talked earlier about you know, everyone's going to ask me
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: fighting questions. Obviously, it's going to always want to know
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: more about the man. Yeah, exactly, Dad, I mean yeah,
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: there's plenty more and more stories of those.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: I feel like I need to sacrifice more for my kids.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: I'm just about to start off. I mean, that's just it.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: We all sacrifice more more than enough, that's for sure.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: Some people just do it in there all different ways.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Maybe I get punched for a living, I'm sacrificing a
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: bit of a brain damage.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Maybe one more big shout out to the Volt for
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: letting us into his home down in the Gong.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: What an absolute legend.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: And if you have enjoyed this episode, any episode in
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads library, please share with a friend, neighbor, relative, whoever,
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: postman delivery driver, where you get your local takeaway from.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: And if you have any other guest suggestions, please send
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: them through to us at Hello at two Doting Dads
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: dot com or just hit us up on our Instagram.
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: Slip into the DMS. I'm always there waiting patiently.
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: Don't forget to leave review five stars, that'd be great.
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: Thank you and we'll catch you guys next time.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: Good day, Two Doting Dads Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: and community.
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.