Latest / The Frostworn Oath / Ep 6 - ELDHOLLOW WAS ALREADY BURNING

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Ep 6 - ELDHOLLOW WAS ALREADY BURNING · The Frostworn Oath

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Welcome to the frost worn out. This is our loose DND game that
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It's time to. We're live.
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Welcome back to the podcast. Recording into.
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It yeah, CJ likes dudes. What?
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Oh the fuck. Yeah, penis joke.
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So what do you guys remember from last week?
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We was introduced into Xer. Correct 000000.
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Is technically introduced. They looted the camp, they rough
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found an axe that had initials on it. 0.
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Antagonized the new NPC pet. You just call them a pet.
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Crazy. Yeah.
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Griff. His names Griff, actually.
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I'm sorry. Frig.
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Did you just call me frig? No.
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Griff, his names, Frig. Now, no, it's Griff.
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So. That was that.
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Was heading back yeah we're. Heading back to town.
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Town Hollow. Yeah, yeah.
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Last time I remember is we got there and it was like all fiery
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and smoky and stuff. Weird screams, wibbly wobbly
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timey wimey stuff happening. Yeah, all that.
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Yeah, all that. Was reversing and Fast forward.
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A whole lot of crazy. Government drones were doing the
1:48
government drone things, yeah. So.
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I'm glad I'm not. Anyways, we left the group, the
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group left off and they saw a huge fire in the town and they
2:02
was going to go investigate that, correct?
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Yeah, crackdown. Yeah, I mate.
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So you and Nali is going to go help out these townsfolk.
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Yeah, we're going to go rescue and see what's going on all.
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Right, so Papa's going to set the scene.
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Oh. You all have made way back to El
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Hollow. El Hollow, you're right on the
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outstretches and all you see is the building's ablaze.
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You hear screaming and shouting. It sounds like a a, a war is
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going on into the town. And before you lies, as I said
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last week, 3 dead bodies you have.
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They are, they appear to be villagers.
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And then there was 1 that was clearly not from town.
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Part of his garb, his bloodied garb, was an Insignia on the
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bluish gold black tunic of a cracked in half hourglass in the
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shape of an shape of a triangle. Ah.
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Shit, it's Father Ox because he he.
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Like the? Hourglass, Mr. Ostrich.
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First things first. I'm.
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Good enough? I was fixing to respond.
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What'd you get in there? You big smelling fish?
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I'm. Going to see what the fuck my
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fucking amulet does. How are you going to do this?
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I think I'm going to look at it, hold it and stare at it for a
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little bit. Give me a religion check.
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You don't. You're not trained in it so it's
3:32
just your intelligence stat. D20 N plus one 20.
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You got a net 20, not. A net 20, but a 19 and one.
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So the shark God's emblem in your hand, you're just staring
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at it. You feel a sense of drive, of
3:49
comfort in you, but other than that, it's like a buzzing,
3:54
humming sensation. What do?
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You pencil Mr. DM, we forgot to give a shout out.
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Remember to Sean. Oh yeah, shout out to Sean.
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Awesome follower and he gave us a nice gift of some lovely tiny
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mini metal dice in a pocket watch style.
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Very sweet. Awesome last name.
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What'd you say it did? You feel calming drive in
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yourself and it's feel like a light hum vibration in your hand
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so it's. It's good vibrations.
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It's a vibrator, is what he said.
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Vibrator. Yeah, yes, it's a vibrator,
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mate. Awesome.
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You gotta rub it on your nipples and you know, feels good, you
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know? Doing all my nipples gives me
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good luck. Yeah, mate, Yeah.
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He's part man. Part man, he still likes it.
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He still likes it. Fuck easier.
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What did I do? You just laughed out of no
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reason. I'm sorry I was trying to get my
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voice and character. Thank you.
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I don't give a fuck. As you stand outside of the
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Ellen Hollow village, you're closest to the stables from
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which you left. Let's go into that fucking town
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and save some people. I have a gun.
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God Dang it. Night, don't shoot up the price.
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What are you doing? I have.
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A gun. See, you're standing behind
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Vallejo. Vallejo has a gun.
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Night never even knows what that thing is.
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Nobody in this town has seen zero before.
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They're going to think you're a demon knight.
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Probably. Yeah, that's not good, is that?
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Far off from what he actually is.
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You might want. To He's not drunk.
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You might want to put a cloak. On him is it?
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What even? Are you well?
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I don't zer doesn't know what zer is.
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You don't know what the fuck you are.
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Nope. How the fuck you not know what
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you are? That really funky play that it
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takes him a really long time to release a sequel to.
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I think they called it Kingdom Hearts.
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He looks like one of them. Soul as fucks.
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Heartless. Do you mean the heartless?
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Yeah, Yeah, those guys. Are we giving a sponsorship from
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that or something? Damn it, I.
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Wish Disney, Sony Square. X Anyways, just know for some
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reason I ended up getting us a Disney sponsorship.
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I did some very not OK things. Anyways, we're going to head in
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to town, correct? Yeah.
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Yeah, mate, of course. All right, well, let's go
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investigate this thing. I think we should find out if
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there's a new trap. 1st So as you make your way past the
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stables, Old Patty's place, you run into the village and as soon
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as you get past the stables you just see all out carnage.
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You see these Raiders just tearing through the place
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killing people on site. A few battles are going on, a
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few struggles with people that you recognize.
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This is all taking place in the instant ablaze.
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It's it it, it doesn't look like a full blown war.
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It in in better terms, it looks like a massacre.
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Zero's going to Eldridge Blast one of the Raiders.
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You're going to Eldridge Blast the closest Raider you see.
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Furthest Raider I see. Well.
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That doesn't make anything. As you're looking out, there's
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people attacking one of the villagers right out in front of
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the square. There's also more going on to
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your right and left. What's her daughter?
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That's what I was going to ask, mate.
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I want to know where she is, Where's my daughter?
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I'm scared for her life. You suddenly remember, David,
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that the last time you saw Lyra was at the Hush Net Inn.
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Do you think we should St. Mate, we go get to the hush net
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do. You think we should get to the
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hush? Net.
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Yeah, I think so too, mate. I need to find my daughter.
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I don't know why. Is it that you only care about
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the child now? Well, I'm more than, you know,
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taking her for granted, but she's a sweetheart.
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I don't know, I'm kind of hungry.
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Is all the fucking beryllius like this?
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So where is the hushnet in compared to where we are?
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Where you're standing right now, just past the stables, it's one
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of the exits of Eld Hollow towards your right.
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Down the path in the streets and the buildings lies the Hushnet
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in. So down the street to the right
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is the Hushnet in. Yeah, so I'm assuming electrical
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Wiener is the Hushnet in. You could you could run past
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them potentially, but yes, there is a fight going.
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Zero's going to distract them. Zero's going to cast out to
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blast. Roll that beautiful bean
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footage. Shout out to Sean.
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Shout out Sean, these dice are hard to read. 18, yes.
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Were you just trying to distract them or were you?
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Blasting one. I'm fucking shooting the dude.
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There's 2. Whichever one looks like they're
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about to attack an innocent person.
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Can I get that extra bullet? Can I get that extra bullet?
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Yeah, sure. Very Leo.
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Thank you. That's a hit. 1D10 plus my
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charisma mod, so good. Potent cantrip?
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That's fire. So.
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Directly in front of you, what you see is the 2 Raiders that
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are attacking several people and one's down on the ground.
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This Raider has his sword raised up, getting ready to slash down
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and finish this one off. As he goes to slash down, you're
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going to see easier hit him with the with the Sakuna.
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He's going to put his fingers out.
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You can see a spiral up here and he's going to pull back and
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launch it, snap right in the face for 12 damage.
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They'll just blast rips through the street and crashes into this
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Raiders face, lighting him up and just knocking him to the
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ground. And then the other one as well
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takes notice of your group and also the one that just got laid
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out on the ground starts to get back up.
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I'm shoot the other one with the fucking blast.
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Let them learn their lesson. Roll Initiative.
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God damn these dice are fucking hard.
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Another 18. Got a 17 might.
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Be hard, but they seem to be doing what, Yeah.
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Keep. Going 4 big.
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OK, OK, big guys on my thighs. I don't even know what the.
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Hell yeah bro, that was wicked. Bro David's got bars.
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They was taking levels. And bad.
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Now only battle ensues. They begin to charge you.
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We've all rolled initiative. The one Raider makes eye contact
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directly with you, Ziri, as it begins to charge, points at your
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finger at you and just simply says I killed you yesterday.
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You did not kill Ziri standing here.
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Bitch. Thank you.
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No way. You're welcome.
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Why are there five of us? Because of Griff.
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Oh yeah. We got.
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Phrase where's my my. Work, Griff.
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My work my work over there. So there's 6.
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I totally forgot one thing. I did not roll for Griff.
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Whoopsie doopsie. You better roll that
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motherfucking dice. Hey, what is?
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What is your work sound like? Meow.
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Meow, meow, Darren. You guys.
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Oh my God, stop. It just reminds.
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Me of how Robin Williams describes cats.
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Who loves Kitty? These are your shoes.
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That's crazy. Who loves Kitty?
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You don't know who loves Kitty? Rolling damage on.
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Well I mean he did say the guy was coming at jeer saying he
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killed him yesterday. You noticed that his sword has a
11:50
blue hue to it. He swings across, slashing at
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you, does a Oh yeah, yeah. You don't know that.
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Does the 21 hit you? No, no it doesn't.
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Yes, the sword comes across you and it feels like it's pulling
12:06
something away as it slashes across your chest and you take
12:11
10 damage. Oh.
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Oh, that's not good. Oh, oh, Zerie.
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He comes across with a second slash, whether it be your skills
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of dodging or just the simple momentum of the first attack,
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your fall back just enough allows you to get get past Scott
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free. Zero.
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It's your turn. Just going to look this guy in
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the face and be like you motherfucker, why would you hit
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me? I did nothing wrong.
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You blasted him. Well, you blasted his buddy in
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the face. Is yours going to pop?
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Is yours going to pop one of the keys off of his head?
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I'm good. And he's going to crack it and
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you're going to see this purple hue come out and he's going to
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cast and stowed out. That's got my yeah.
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What's your DC? It's a, It's a, It's a spell DC,
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say. 13 same as yours by the way, in case you didn't know,
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Ties 0 has a special ability. The keys on his head allow him
13:15
to store a spell that he has seen cast.
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So I wrote down a list of every spell that was cast during this
13:21
session and rolled to see which ones I got.
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I got instilled out in catapult. I can only store 2 at the
13:26
moment, but. What's the I know, I know the
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DC, but is it it's wisdom? No, it's charisma.
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It's charisma. Oh.
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You fucker. I'm sorry, he.
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Had a he had a plus one to his save until I found out it was
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Charisma instead. So all right, what do you do?
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I look at him and I'm like, oh, I didn't, that wasn't me that
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blasted you. Or is your friend over there?
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You're full of shit. I'm not full of shit.
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He totally did that. I sat here and watched the whole
14:00
time. Serious area and watched him.
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It's true, I've seen it. You can see him just you can see
14:05
them starting to sway. Just trying to understand and
14:09
come over this. That man over there, he is
14:13
trying to get you, my friend, that man is trying to get you.
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He failed my one bonus action. I thought.
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I'm still doubt it was a bonus action reality smudge.
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Would it be a bonus action for you?
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Oh yeah. I mean, it's still a bonus
14:32
action spell, so. OK, Yeah.
14:34
I assumed it went by what the spell?
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Was. That's fine.
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OK, so for my main action, I'm going to look at this guy and
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he's going to be like, why would you hit your own friend?
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That's fucked up. And then he's going to cast all
14:44
the blast on that guy. Roll it.
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With the Little Die 191919191919 Woo Steven Damash, Thank you for
14:59
choosing Taman. BBT.
15:01
BBT. Yes, 7 damage.
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OK. By the way, in case in case you
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need to know, my Eldridge Blast has a range of 300 feet.
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I figured if it's still hit. Damn.
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I took cantrip and extended cantrip.
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Fucking love holla. Far Vallejo yo amidst this
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masses, sorry. I got big ass feet.
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A Raiders just come up and attacked your quotation mark
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friend. I don't know that guy.
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We are friends. You took my lunch money.
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I didn't take no, no, you didn't take nobody's lunch money.
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I'm going to use my my bonus action 1st and and Shank this
15:38
dude in the liver because he looks like he might have a
15:40
better liver than me and that's not allowed.
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We do not think that guy, that guy might fight his friend for
15:45
us. That's not add, still doubt
15:46
works. Yeah, never mind.
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I'm shanking him. You've confused him, giving him
15:50
disadvantage. That is a pretty sure that's it.
15:56
Pretty sure that's a 10, but suggestive whisper lucky.
16:01
I mean like that's better than a 10.
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That's 13 total. Yeah.
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I was going to Shank this guy in the liver here.
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No one's allowed to have a better liver than me.
16:08
Your blade comes up in a quick prison jab motion and he's able
16:13
to spot you out of the corner of his eye and tink flick it back
16:18
with his sword. OK, well then I'm going to what
16:21
are. You doing Vallejo?
16:24
I'm doing something stupid. Oh, I'm firing at that guy.
16:28
And I missed OH. Look at you fancy oh thing.
16:31
There's a 25 hit. Yes.
16:34
Think about that, I saw I was looking on realist or something
16:39
and I saw it was AD and D thing, it was a projector and it like
16:43
project thing. I want it so.
16:46
Dude, I know I was. I was looking at it.
16:48
I was like, Oh my God, I'm going to buy it.
16:50
I literally want to buy it. 8 damage.
16:53
That would be a miss. Wait, what's your AC?
16:55
What'd he roll? 13 Oh, disadvantage anyway,
17:00
yeah. Barely a miss, my AC is 14.
17:02
And what did you, what'd you do again to the guy all the way
17:05
over there? Oh, I shot him.
17:06
With your gun so. I had Nanaway give me that extra
17:10
bullet that he had. Off of the distance down the
17:12
street, catching the visual of more attacks going on.
17:16
Further down, you fire with the random Raiders down the way.
17:21
Who the hell was that? And Next up, No, no way.
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It's your turn. Fine, I guess.
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No, I go to work on them. Oh, that was crisp.
17:29
Holy shit. That was like, God bless.
17:32
I think I'm feeling a little bit, you know, hungry, Dara.
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Don't look at me mate, I'm not your food.
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Go get some food somewhere. I'll.
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See this guy in front of me? Yeah, Does he look tasty?
17:44
Let me put some salt and pepper on him.
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You got some. Yeah.
17:48
Pass that on over. Just hand him a patch of salt.
17:51
Thank you. I think I'm going to walk over
17:54
towards him like all like stud like.
17:57
He's going to Chad, walk up to him.
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And I'm going to try to bite his head off.
18:02
Roll your attack, Sir. 18. That hits. 18 plus strength mod.
18:09
C. 5 plus Strength 56767. No 7 Total No.
18:19
No. Yes, so you're able to bite onto
18:23
him trying to engulf his. Head.
18:27
Give me a strength check. Fuck.
18:31
What'd you get? Pudding pop. 7.
18:34
Lucky plus your strength. 789 plus the strength 9 is.
18:39
He is he considered flanked right now?
18:41
Do I get an advantage? Yes.
18:44
I do. Fuck yeah.
18:46
Well, no, yeah, I just wanted to do an attack.
18:48
Yeah, he did. Yeah.
18:49
And he hit. 7. All right, roll again.
18:54
Fuck it. Fuck. 10.
18:59
Fuck double. Advantage.
19:00
Fuck triple advantage. No, I'm.
19:03
Not saving. I'm going to save it.
19:04
Yeah, all. Right, so you're bit down on him
19:08
and blood is drawn, but he's able to wiggle and just nudge
19:13
you off enough and get loose. This.
19:15
Guy has like 8 fuck you fuck you bitch.
19:20
I think I'm gonna smack him with my vibrator.
19:23
You're. Gonna hit him with the.
19:24
You're gonna hit him with your amulet.
19:25
Yeah. All right, roll me your strength
19:29
Attack, Attack. Spot for fumble.
19:36
So he pushes you off and you just.
19:37
Go. Just angrily just.
19:45
Well. Just imagine zero's over in the
19:50
corner doing that. Those toys are the best grown
19:57
up. Next up, it is the other Raider
19:59
back there. No, wait, we there.
20:02
Is not 8 of. You wait, there is 8 of you.
20:04
Griffin the little fucking dog. Oh.
20:06
That's you. You moved up.
20:07
So there's six, including a bad guy.
20:10
So there's six of us 6. Oh.
20:11
There's five of us and. This is a bad guy my.
20:14
Bad, there's only 6 of you. He's sending a tweet.
20:18
I was going to say it me No, no are.
20:22
You looking at me? It's hitting Griff.
20:24
It's Griff or the warg. No, not Griff.
20:28
Can I jump in front? Use your reaction, all right?
20:34
One and three Griff don't. One and three is warg 2 and 4 is
20:40
Griff. Org Let's go.
20:43
Not Griff. The word only has 26.
20:48
It can go meow meow. Now.
20:56
It actually has whiskers. It's a slightly oh.
20:59
That's his name. His.
21:01
Name is Ostrich. I know it's it's such a good
21:03
cat. It's the most basic.
21:07
You're basic bitch. What's the basic cat name?
21:09
Whiskers. You know what my cat's name was?
21:12
Edward McKenzie, the third detective Kitty.
21:16
What did you maximus decimus viridius putty paws varnadoe?
21:20
Mine's biscuit, Biscuit and Cheeto.
21:24
This one back here pulls one of the javelins off his back and
21:27
chucks it and it whizzes through the line of you and.
21:32
Hold on, can I grab it out of the hair God was going to?
21:34
Ask the same fucking day. Roll me up.
21:37
Roll me a luck check D20. With what?
21:41
D20. D20 with what D?
21:43
20. Not 20.
21:47
Unfortunately, that doesn't beat A4.
21:52
Really. That was what you rolled for?
21:53
Oh man. Yes, you can try.
21:57
We'll go. You can.
21:59
You can. We can do a sleight of hand or
22:01
just deck space. Deck space.
22:04
You're about to get cooked. No, they're not 20.
22:10
I don't want to use that dice anymore.
22:12
You've. Rolled the most. 20s out of
22:13
anybody at this table in 5-6 weeks.
22:16
I don't think I've rolled a single Nat. 20 you've gotten at
22:19
least two that I recall but still I know this.
22:23
Some fish has literally gotten 20s on checks and everything.
22:27
It's beginner's luck. Yeah.
22:29
I'm the beginner. Roll me AD 20 again I'll.
22:33
Roll you AD 20 again. I just like to point out on the
22:36
other. One, that's a four.
22:37
See. See Roll Me AD 6. 1.
22:41
You see the javelin coming through and you reach out
22:44
grabbing a hold of it and catch it like a badass.
22:47
Fuck yeah, bitch. Fucking asshole.
22:53
He's going to move up into the fray, I'm assuming.
22:56
Right here. I just say there.
22:59
I just say the fucking word. Oh thank you mate, would have
23:03
hit my companion. I said thank you.
23:05
Why are you making sexual noises?
23:07
Sorry, I'm just thinking about the blacks, man.
23:09
Baby, careful man, You gave him. You gave him a.
23:11
Comment my I'm sorry, I'm sorry. My ostrich life.
23:14
I'm sorry, I'm just thinking about the black sleeve.
23:17
Griff's gonna take the chance and move 15 feet that way.
23:21
Which one is Griff? Griff is the flat one.
23:24
He's the 2D. The flat 1.
23:27
I mean, take the chance. He's running away from
23:29
everybody. It's because he's not as thick
23:31
as. What's over there?
23:32
What? Do you say to him?
23:34
Griff where you go mate? The battles this way.
23:37
He ignores you as he runs his 15 feet away.
23:40
Griff, get your bitch ass over here.
23:42
What the hell is he doing? OK, I don't.
23:46
Know are you still saying nightmare in his head?
23:50
That's why he's running away. Nightmare.
23:53
Nightmare coming for you. Once again just not believing in
24:00
Griff, he ignores you, runs away and then turns back with his bow
24:04
and fires. Damn, very smart.
24:07
You got their man. Wait, hold on, wait.
24:11
And his arrow just pierces the Raider in front of you.
24:15
OK, in the back. Goodness, mate.
24:18
Griff, we almost killed you. Gosh.
24:20
Griff just looks at you with this expression on his face like
24:23
what the fuck David? Mate, you point the bar with us,
24:27
we're standing right next to the guy.
24:29
What would you do that? What the fuck, Griff?
24:32
Mate. Griff just lowers his head like
24:35
just defeated. Nightmare, nightmare.
24:37
Well, I I guess you killed the guy anyway, so good job I guess.
24:41
But next time tell us what what you're going to do because you
24:45
scared me, mate, you scared me. The guy's still alive,
24:48
obviously. Oh well, he's not dead.
24:51
Maybe shoot him again, yeah. He's been bit once by Nanaway
24:54
and got an arrow in the back. This is D&D, man.
24:57
He's fine, y'all should let me finish him off.
25:02
Just make sure you use the grape.
25:03
The grape. I think we should torture him.
25:07
Just scratch him up real bad and pour lemon.
25:09
Yeah, fucker lemon juice on him. Squeeze some lemon.
25:13
Squeeze some lemon juice on him, on his wounds.
25:15
Put some salt. Sure knows that saying.
25:18
Dave. Remember, be positive.
25:22
What does that mean? I don't understand what.
25:25
I think he has AIDS. It's your turn.
25:27
Yeah, mate, it's my turn, OK? Oh, mate.
25:30
Well, get over here. Got some work to do.
25:33
You can blame my whistle. Yeah, you can.
25:38
You have travelled with this work for three days now.
25:40
You can just give it commands, it can attack.
25:42
OK, awesome. Awesome simple command attack
25:46
get get that little get that little goober.
25:48
Which one are you doing? Make him mix him up to lunch
25:51
mate. Mao.
25:52
Meow. And then he attacks that one.
25:55
Yeah, that one right there, that guy, bottom of.
25:58
The Dick. Go go lick his face with your
26:02
teeth. 18 plus the modifier with 18 hits.
26:06
The ward runs up and this Raiders just looking down at
26:09
him, so you bring a Beastie to try and take us on now.
26:12
Yeah, my, he's about to bite your toes off.
26:15
Ankle biter. Yeah.
26:18
All right, That's a hit. Two D 6 + 3 is what it is. 325
26:29
plus 38. So Warren bites on, doing a
26:33
little bit of damage, making some blood on his lower regions.
26:37
On his on his feet. And he goes for the ankles.
26:40
Just. Had some with a quick.
26:43
Struggles with him for a moment, just wrestling with it to get
26:45
him off. What do you do just?
26:47
Going to poke him in his bare no, I'm just kidding.
26:51
Going to do something super basic and not interesting at
26:56
all. What I'm going to do is I'm
26:59
going to use. I am going to use finally,
27:04
because I haven't got to use it yet, the spell sleep or got me a
27:08
new spell. I'm going to try out and you are
27:11
my first victim sleep. If I use it, he sleeps.
27:16
There is some kind of thing for it, but I can't remember what it
27:18
is. What was it again?
27:20
Hang on, I'm pulling it up. No, there is ADC to see if you
27:23
can. 5D-8. Five times.
27:27
Yeah. Hope you're good at math.
27:28
So sleep is an AOE spell. You roll 5D-8.
27:36
Any creatures with less than the total of the D eights you rolled
27:41
are, well, taking a nap. 25. So you do this and the one that
27:51
had just ran up suddenly just starts.
27:55
His eyes start to get heavy and he's just, and he crumples to
28:00
the ground. Deer also crumples to the
28:02
ground. You're not.
28:04
Wait, everybody falls asleep. Yeah, area of effect.
28:09
I'm gonna close my ears. That's definitely not what I
28:12
wanted to do, so I'll say that because now they sleep until
28:17
they get attacked. Creatures within 20 feet of a
28:20
point you choose within range and ascending order of their
28:23
current hit points, ignoring unconscious creatures.
28:26
Against my own team is quite atrocious.
28:29
All all things AOE will hit your team.
28:31
Yep, Yep. So nobody can wake up until they
28:33
get attacked. Well, to be fair, you can
28:36
literally, you can literally take an action and.
28:39
OK. But let's see.
28:44
Well that sucks. That's not what I wanted to do
28:46
at all. Nobody has more than 20. 7-8 so
28:48
so for like soloing a fight that would be really good but did it
28:53
not sleep that guy? No, he has more than 25 HP.
28:58
Aren't they both hurt? They were as you cast sleep and
29:02
everyone around falls to the ground.
29:05
Even it's the same, what about Griff?
29:07
Griff is kind of out of the area, so is he out of the area
29:10
of effect or no? Actually 510. 1520.
29:16
Which one? Which one's day right though?
29:18
I mean to be fair. If he was 25 feet.
29:20
Oops. Hey, you know you're new.
29:22
You just got a new Oops. Yeah, I know.
29:24
I'm gonna have to apologize to everybody once they wake up.
29:26
I'm sorry, mate. Sorry mate.
29:28
Maybe, maybe they won't know. Just be like, what are you guys?
29:31
OK, I'm gonna gaslight them. Oh.
29:33
Shit, I'm. Just fucking why are you guys?
29:35
Sleeping mate, wake up, we got shit to do gosh.
29:39
As everyone falls asleep. Actually, I think your wart's
29:41
still awake. Yeah, it has 26 HP.
29:44
I got 25 all. Right, so the Raider sees
29:46
everybody around his feet just drop, looks at you and obviously
29:51
ostrich the ward. No, what am I?
29:53
He's going to bite your toes. It's just, it's just you and us.
29:56
Now. My ostrich has a foot fetish, so
30:00
you better watch out. He's going to get you.
30:03
Goes right back. This is the beginning of Round
30:05
2. For round one, yeah.
30:08
Yeah. So now it's beginning around
30:09
2:00 and it's his turn. Yeah.
30:11
Yeah, I was. Pulling.
30:13
Up ChatGPT all. Right one to three, it stays
30:16
right where he is, 2 to 4, he's going to try and get past the
30:21
ward to you that. Was a three right?
30:25
Still has disadvantage until the end of this turn.
30:28
Hell yeah. Good shit.
30:31
Good shit, mate. Whoever did that, that one's a
30:34
guy. Would a 15 hit?
30:38
Me or the ward? The ward?
30:40
I'm pretty sure it's a CS15 but let me.
30:43
Check. Fuck, fuck.
30:45
Well, don't worry about it. It's a CS13.
30:50
Don't worry about it because it was a disadvantage and his other
30:52
one was a gnat 1. So he swings, and then he swings
30:57
again, and the sword goes flying out of his hand roughly a few
31:02
feet away. Oh man, You know what?
31:04
If he would have chosen to attack one of you guys sleeping,
31:06
it would it would have canceled out his disadvantage.
31:09
Dave, it's your turn. All right, mate.
31:11
Well, I told you, I tried to warn you, but my walk's going to
31:15
eat your feet now. He's got a foot fetish.
31:18
He's coming for you. You may watch out.
31:21
Walk. Get his toes.
31:23
Get him meow, meow. I want to get his toes do the
31:31
what's his name, smiling Friends.
31:32
I'm sorry, it's your turn. It's Peleo's turn, not Davis
31:36
yet. I'm the only one of us not
31:39
asleep. Oh, you're not asleep?
31:41
No, I'm 5 feet out of the range. As you're moving further away,
31:45
you see everybody behind you just drop.
31:48
How much HP do you have? I have seven hit points.
31:52
What are you doing? He's been a Lone Ranger.
31:56
You're going to die. No run away.
32:00
To be fair, if he was by us, he'd be asleep right now.
32:03
Yeah, I mean. So, you know, getting a nap.
32:07
Actually all of y'all are getting your HP up right now.
32:10
Yeah, if they stay asleep for another six hours, man.
32:13
Hey, they're getting .5 HP from this OK?
32:17
All right, so I run up and I kick zero in the head, wake him
32:22
up. I'm going back up 15 feet and
32:26
since fuck, there's not much I can really do from there after
32:30
that. Yeah, I mean, I still have a
32:31
bonus action. Will you allow me to throw a
32:33
dagger as a bonus action because I'm off hand?
32:38
Yes. That's a 7 or 17, sorry.
32:43
Two big difference. Hit to hit this guy.
32:46
Hit. Yeah, that's a.
32:48
That's a very large difference. I was about to say 7.
32:53
Six name 6. Damage.
32:56
And that's my turn. The dagger flies through the
32:59
air. Yeah, I'm unmuted.
33:01
The dagger flies through the air and just bites into the left
33:05
shoulder and he just looks at it and plucks it out.
33:09
I blow him a kiss. He stares back at you.
33:12
Your time's coming. I mean that is how time works.
33:16
You know nothing of the Chronosphere.
33:19
The who's a what? You're McCall it.
33:21
I don't know what you said about Corona beers.
33:26
You drink Corona Vallejo, That's my dude.
33:32
Over in Matharis, that's all they got in Madillo.
33:35
Do you like it with lime? Always.
33:38
Good, good. We're going to have to get to
33:41
Corona. There's Vallejo.
33:46
There's it is. You might want to cover up
33:48
though. Oh.
33:49
Yeah, probably. It's my turn, right?
33:54
Or is it It's his turn. Are you sure it's not his turn?
33:56
No, because Vallejo. Yeah, it would go over his turn.
34:00
You suck. David's turn.
34:02
Sorry, it would. Go over my turn.
34:04
Yeah, you were. Because it went you were asleep
34:08
on your turn. Yeah.
34:11
You were asleep on your turn, Vallejo.
34:12
Went after me though. Yeah.
34:14
Yeah, you were. He woke you up on his turn,
34:16
Yeah. You can't roll to wake up from.
34:18
It so you, you so you. Yeah, I know.
34:19
I thought it was coming back around.
34:21
No, no, no, no. He's not the end of the order.
34:23
Dave is the end of the order. Yeah, that's where I was.
34:25
Confused. I'm like, right after you.
34:27
Yeah, you suck. Hey, Bucky, you love me. 16 on
34:34
and 10:00. You got shit anyways.
34:36
All right, mate, It's my turn. All right, mate.
34:39
We'll get his toes. I know you want them 14 that.
34:46
Is it? Let's go meow.
34:48
So you attacked the Raider, huh? Yeah, with the Wong, he's going
34:52
to bite his toes. Could have woke your friends up.
34:56
No, they're fine. They're.
35:00
Fine. No, it's almost been a minute.
35:01
I'll wake up here soon. A.
35:03
Minute is 6 rounds. That's crazy.
35:09
That does not make sense. So even though we're taking, you
35:12
know, an hour or two, like each round is literally 6 seconds.
35:18
Every fight we've been in hasn't been longer than 5 minutes.
35:21
That's crazy. Turn base OPG. 11 damage mate on
35:30
his toes. How?
35:32
Much damage 7. Right 11.
35:34
Oh, you did 11 damage? Yeah mate, you said 7 because
35:37
7-11. What else are you going to?
35:40
Do I'm going to because what you what?
35:41
'D you do again, you spear? No.
35:42
What'd you? Do no the war bit his bit his
35:45
ankles again, but. His junk, Yeah.
35:47
All right, So he wrestles. He wrestles with the WAR another
35:50
time, and you can see that much more damage is being done around
35:54
his legs and everywhere, and he rushes that off just trying to
36:00
get free. Stupid monster get loose and
36:06
then it's back up to him. It's back up to him or me.
36:10
Oh, you didn't go right? Yeah, something.
36:13
That's so cool that I can do that.
36:16
I can be like, hey bitch, do this and I can still go.
36:19
I love that. If I had my notebook, I would
36:21
actually give him his own initiative, but I don't want to
36:23
keep track of another one, so he's going on your turn.
36:25
That if I wake someone up, can I only wake one person up?
36:30
Yes, that sucks and it is an action.
36:36
There's three people to wake up. I'm awake.
36:37
There's. Yeah, there's only two people to
36:40
wake up. Yeah, the third one's a bad guy.
36:42
You want to wake him up? Is he?
36:44
No. All right, mate, I know.
36:47
That's so cool. I know what I'm going to do.
36:50
What I'm going to do is I'm going to whip out my handy dandy
36:54
spear, going to twirl it around, make him think I'm real cool
36:57
and, you know, intimidate and intimidate him.
37:01
Will intimidation give him disadvantage or does he still
37:03
already have disadvantage? No, he no longer has a
37:07
disadvantage and. Still, you're down.
37:09
OK. Yeah, Yeah, I want to.
37:11
An intimidation is just an intimidation check.
37:14
That's not an action, correct? Well, I need to know exactly
37:18
what you do. I'm going to do some Welly Daly
37:21
and Twellies with my spin look. Super cool and scary all.
37:24
Right, go for it. 12 What is it? Your mother sucks cocks.
37:34
My mom. He wrote.
37:40
A4 not roll A4. He wrote a four What do you
37:43
roll? What do you roll it?
37:45
Was a 15 wasn't. It No, you're 18 What the fuck?
37:49
He's just going to be like this. This bitch is stupid What the
37:53
fuck mate? He.
37:54
Just stares you down. Yeah, mate.
37:58
You ready for this? You ready for this?
38:00
Yeah, I'm going to do that. I don't believe you're ready for
38:03
anything. Mate, I'm so ready not like that
38:06
though, not like like you know, fighting wise and stuff not like
38:11
otherwise yeah, you get ready mate.
38:14
You're. Disgusting.
38:15
I'm going to twirly whirly dirly, move with the whirly
38:18
dirty is what I'm going to tell. I'm going to whirly dirly him.
38:22
Yeah, mate, no. It only boots racy, it's not an.
38:25
Attack. Oh OK.
38:27
Hell yeah. But it turns your AC to a 15 or
38:30
16 depending on the roll. Right, but I can't attack if I
38:32
do that, right? Yeah, you won't be able to
38:34
attack. OK, never mind, never mind.
38:35
But scratch that. If you get a.
38:38
Like 13 to 14 you get a + 1° AC. If you get a 15 or higher, you
38:44
get +2. Yeah, but you can get minus off
38:46
the AC, right? No, no, if you if you roll bad,
38:49
you can just hit yourself. OK, mate, I'm not going to do
38:54
that. Fuck that, fuck that, Scratch
38:56
that, scratch. All right mate, I'm coming for
38:58
you and I'm going to do AA/A large slash and slash them real
39:08
good, am I? Am I close enough to even slash
39:11
them? I mean.
39:12
You can move. OK Oh, oh, yeah, Oh yeah.
39:16
Get ready mate and I'm going to go.
39:20
Slash. Really hard.
39:22
Really hard. Roll.
39:25
Nat 20. Shut up.
39:27
Is that for your first Nat 20? Backs.
39:30
Dara. Suck it mate, I was rolling like
39:33
shit last game. Landel Calrissian.
39:37
Yeah, that's my name. You had me, mate.
39:41
That's my name. What the fuck?
39:46
Honestly. Sexy.
39:47
Can you do it again? Oh my God.
39:52
Roll to confirm. Fuck.
39:54
I'm sorry you weren't drinking Pepsi sexually.
39:56
Roll to confirm, David. 16 on the die plus two hits.
40:01
Confirms. All right, roll it again. 17 on
40:08
the die. 17 Divine Favor A faint glow whispers from a God's
40:16
blessing, giving you +2 to your damage.
40:21
So it's double damage plus whatever you normally have +2.
40:25
You can do it, David. It's just +2 so.
40:31
You'll roll the D4 four times. But it's just a 2D.
40:37
Four. Yeah, but you rolled A crit, so
40:40
it's. 44 yeah, plus your attack bonus, I mean your damage bonus
40:45
plus another 2. OK.
40:48
Damn it. 336 total, 410 total. 111 So 11 + 2 + 13 three.
41:07
So is it? So it's +2 off of what he gave
41:11
me, plus another two off of the normal +2?
41:13
Yeah, so 15 Burger King. So cool that's what happened.
41:19
Going stab him in. The Dick.
41:23
I'm not going to do it. I'm not.
41:25
I'm not going to. I'm not going to molest the
41:27
virgin. Let me see my all to know.
41:32
What does he get to see? You know how get up and come?
41:36
Up. No, no, no, no.
41:37
It'll ruin it if you look. OK.
41:39
This is what I meant, I'm not going to do it.
41:46
It burns the flavor they run. Yeah, mate, don't.
41:49
Trust that man. Don't trust that man.
41:56
He's a lion. Yeah, don't touch him.
42:00
He's mine. Tell me how you killed this
42:03
Raider. I'm going to slice him up and
42:06
fly him just for the Norway thinking about you.
42:13
My lips were too dry. I didn't get that good Nanaway
42:16
smack. He's sleeping, actually.
42:20
I'm going to go get him. I'm just kidding.
42:25
He did it. We heard you.
42:30
Don't trust that man. That drops the only non sleeping
42:36
bad guy that you are currently involved with.
42:38
Heck yeah, mate. All right.
42:40
Well, he's just for late and ready for for the Norway US for
42:44
late him real nice. And this begins round 3.
42:47
I just slapped everybody and nobody's.
42:49
Getting the play I'm. Sorry.
42:51
No way. I'm sorry.
42:53
We got to wake. No way up.
42:55
Fuck Griff. Honestly, we should just leave.
42:56
Griff. Hey.
42:57
This here wake no way up. It's your turn.
42:59
Is it my turn? Yes.
43:03
That's an action. I can kill this fucking guy and
43:05
then we can wake him up after he dies.
43:09
Oh, great, mate, That's a great idea.
43:10
But if you hit him any mess and you shoot him any mess, Yeah,
43:19
but if you hit him and you don't do much damage, he's going to
43:23
tickle you. He might even tickle in a way.
43:29
Honestly, fuck it. Yeah, yeah, just just just
43:36
deadliest dude while he's sleeping.
43:40
Yeah, Suzia's going to start spinning his arm and as he spins
43:45
it, you're going to see, you're going to see the rope dot coming
43:47
out and everything gaining momentum and slam it down on
43:51
this guy. Oh, your tack with advantage.
43:56
With advantage that. One's cooked that's cooked
44:02
that's better. 19 huh? Hold on, that's.
44:15
Cocked. It's still good.
44:20
It's still good. I'm just so used to doing.
44:27
I just, I'm just so used to doing the That's Cocked and
44:29
Father Ostrich's voice. He did do it for four weeks.
44:33
That's cocked which is a month and some change for you kids at
44:37
home. I got don't listen to this or 18
44:40
only. I got 19.
44:42
That hits yeah D 6 + 2 5 damn it.
44:56
That divide damage. Zero.
44:59
Describe your merciless non mercy killing of this immerse
45:06
son of a bitch. So as Zier starts spinning his
45:08
arm around and the rope dud starts coming out slowly, longer
45:11
and longer, he's going to hit it with a like a right when it hits
45:14
the peak, he's going to jump slam it down and it's going to
45:17
go right through this guy's neck and his heads and his body are
45:20
just going to be no more. That ends this moment of combat.
45:28
And I'm going to wake up the Norway since combat's over.
45:34
Yep, I. See.
45:43
Yes, I see you. Hello, I am awake.
45:49
Yes, Zero just woke you up As you finish off these two.
45:58
I can't quit saying that because I immediately just think of, you
46:00
know, but. Just vicious head.
46:08
As this moment of turmoil ends, everyone gets back to their feet
46:12
who was asleep still, and you still hear the chaos moving
46:17
further on down all around you, from the Shrine of ours to the
46:23
blacksmith to all throughout town, all the way down to the
46:26
Hush Net Inn and the docks. Just chaos and flames a bloomin.
46:35
You hear scream shouts, but everybody's back on their feet.
46:39
Chaos still. There's attackers all throughout
46:41
the town. The village is on fire and
46:45
you're still trying to get to the Hush net in all right.
46:48
Keep it moving. You make your way into town
46:51
further and further in, passing houses ablaze, passing just
46:57
rioting in the streets, fights, fights blazing out, just people
47:02
being murdered everywhere. And as you get towards the hush
47:07
net in you see era hollow hands confronted by two men.
47:14
And she's doing everything she can as Millwood also struggles
47:18
to try and help save and protect her from the slashes.
47:23
He's whole. He's holding one of the benches
47:26
from outside of the Hushnet and just slinging it back and using
47:29
it to deflect shots. Where are they on the map?
47:33
The Hushnet is like, oh, over here.
47:35
I thought it was over here. Can I run over I?
47:37
Said to your right. I think I'm going to run over
47:40
there and save the cheek. No, no way.
47:43
You're going to rush into the two men.
47:45
Yeah, and try to kill them and fucking raise her up.
47:50
All right, you get one surprise attack.
47:54
What are you doing? As he's running in, I'm going to
47:56
cast Reality Smudge. I'll allow all of you to have
47:59
one surprise attack, but now we go.
48:02
Use my hook cutlass. Oh yeah.
48:04
To give like a full tornado effect.
48:07
Essentially cleave. Weave, weave.
48:10
Cleave. Weave and cleave.
48:14
So you run in swiping your hook cutlass in an arc, roll me your
48:17
attack twice. 8 3. Advantage.
48:23
So let me roll my advantage 19 Where's the woman at?
48:28
You hit her too, no? Shit, Oh shit. 19 hits you hit
48:35
the one with. The one that's closest to the
48:38
woman. Yeah, you hit the Raider closest
48:40
to the woman being this one. Motherfuck.
48:42
Yeah, hello. Technically.
48:44
Get over your bitch. No way, why are you calling me a
48:47
bitch? Thank you.
48:47
Don't get over here. So you cleave in.
48:50
Roll your damage. So I would also like to point
48:53
this out because I didn't specify it well the last time I
48:57
cast it. So whenever 0 cash reality
48:59
spudge, you know how whenever you like, zone out and
49:01
everything becomes. Bullet my damn it, I only hit
49:03
one correct? Correct.
49:05
OK. You know how when you zone out
49:06
and everything in your vision becomes blurry?
49:08
So imagine that, but it's only 0.
49:11
That's blurry. I got a 10 on my hook cut list
49:16
plus I'm what am I? I'm efficient and sneak attacks
49:20
correct? So D6D6.
49:23
D6. D6 like AD 6.
49:26
See, that's why we have that song. 6. 16 Dimash, wait a
49:30
minute, you also get AD 4. Remember the hook cutlass?
49:32
Oh yeah. 3. So 19 damage total.
49:36
Yeah, bitch, you better get over here and bend over.
49:40
You just cut the man in half. Too bad, yeah.
49:48
So you missed this one completely.
49:51
He hears you coming and he jukes out of the way just as the blade
49:56
comes across. Fucker.
49:59
But it hits the other and opens him up at the belly as his
50:04
intestines begin to spill. Out can I start eating them he.
50:07
Drops to his knee. Can I start eating them the
50:10
intestines and then now we can he start eating the intestines?
50:14
Then you're going to be flanked. Bonus action even.
50:17
Then she said we all get one. The guy that he missed, I want
50:21
to throw my other dagger out. Wait, I want to.
50:23
I want to raise up the lady. All right, Raise up era.
50:29
What up era? How are you doing?
50:32
Nanala here, You're looking a little bit more attractive, I
50:35
got to say. Come on, let's kill these
50:37
fuckers. Trying to go out somewhere.
50:41
We'll talk later that roller confirm.
50:46
Technically that's another crit on on my account.
50:49
Whoa. OK, so.
50:51
Wait. Never.
50:55
Was that on purpose? No.
50:58
Help, Meleo. Oh, my God.
50:59
I'm back, everybody. My name is Belleo now.
51:03
Help. I've been possessed.
51:05
Help. Father is possessing my money.
51:07
Get over here. All way, Buck.
51:11
Fuck. Anyway, so my confirm was a 19
51:16
which would also be another crit for me.
51:19
Roll it again. Oh.
51:22
Shit, that's a four. He's done my luck.
51:26
It's not bad, I know, it's just off the list.
51:28
Lucky. Do not worry my friend.
51:32
Collateral coolness. Your move unintentionally
51:34
benefits an ally, you do double damage and they gain advantage
51:38
on their next action. Motherfucker.
51:41
At least I'm helpful. Indubitably.
51:43
All right, so 4, 2, that's all I get right?
51:52
Double damage, OK, 99 damage. Basically you just whipped out
51:59
that blade and tossed it at the guy and hit him and it just
52:02
looks so goddamn cool. Whoever is going next was just
52:04
like, hell yeah, man. Hey, watch this.
52:08
Hard one shirt Surefoot shout out.
52:11
We all get a surprise thing. I just used my benefit myself.
52:15
Fancy. I used mine.
52:17
Does my word get its own surprise?
52:20
I don't want to die. No.
52:23
Come on, you're rolling for it. What about Griff?
52:28
What about Griff? Nobody woke Griff up.
52:30
Actually, Dayra's exact words were Fuck Griff.
52:33
Leave Griff. Yeah, I still thought he was
52:37
going to shoot us, mate. Fuck the bloody bastard.
52:43
Then always is pissed. Give him nightmares.
52:46
Give him nightmares. Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare.
52:50
That's fucked up, He. Can still do it.
52:53
Poor Griff. That's why I said that's fucked
52:55
up. Poor Griff.
52:57
All right. All right, mate, what I'm going
53:00
to do. So I'm going to sneak up and I'm
53:02
going to I'm going to slash him with my my welly deadly spear.
53:07
You have advantage. Oh, let's go.
53:09
Let's. Go.
53:12
Good thing I do 14. 14 Sorry, what the fuck was that?
53:19
Hits. 3/3 plus 288 the mushy. I got an 18 on initiative.
53:30
Was one guy still alive? My initiative was a 50.
53:35
Why are you giving these guys 50 HP?
53:37
They. Don't have 50HP. 40HP.
53:40
Stop doing. Math Why are you giving them 48
53:46
HP? Dang, it's.
53:47
Not like I'm putting you up against it's, it's sectioned,
53:50
it's not like. My work has 26 HP.
53:52
I'm sorry, when was I in? Those last few sections.
53:56
I didn't hear you because Landon being really.
53:58
Loud sorry, when was I able to heal in those last few sections?
54:02
You know warlock, you can't heal anyway.
54:04
Don't forget there are at least two health potions between the
54:07
five of you. Ain't.
54:08
Got shit on. Me, I think I have one left.
54:12
Ain't got shit on me. I think I have one left.
54:15
What's your initiative? And honestly, I'm a greedy
54:18
motherfucker, But I may give it to Vallejo.
54:21
Four health potions. One was used on an all way, you
54:23
used one on yourself and you wasted one on dead ostrich.
54:25
Yes, you have one left. I'll be fine.
54:28
OK, did. You get a 20. 13 on the dice
54:35
plus what? Oh my O2.
54:37
Most of my stats are too. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
54:42
I don't really know. Stuff like that.
54:45
Look at you, too good to have a fucking negative.
54:51
Yeah. Always so fucking positive.
54:55
Yeah, actually, fuck negative people.
54:57
That's all I can tell you buck em I usually I don't need em
55:01
that's. Why I like?
55:02
What the fuck? What the fuck?
55:05
My burger. What the fuck?
55:09
Can you hear me? That?
55:11
No. It's your turn my.
55:14
Turn, Yeah. Is there a rock around me?
55:18
Roman perception because there is snow on the ground?
55:19
Nope. You take your time for a moment
55:26
to look around the the ground and that's the snow and you
55:29
can't make out any. Pedal.
55:33
I wasn't looking for a pedal, I was looking for a rock.
55:34
Yeah, you don't see one. Like a rock.
55:37
Evidently you don't see one. Rock, did you kill this
55:40
motherfucker? I was trying to find a rock.
55:44
He was trying to smell what the rock was cooking.
55:46
Because I have catapult in my other key I I can pass 2 spells
55:50
a day but as many cantrip as someone.
55:53
Elder blast his ass. What is a cantrip exactly?
55:56
Cantrip is essentially a spell that doesn't take a spell slot.
55:59
Kind of like a spell bonus. Oh, just must.
56:03
Whoa. That's 23.
56:05
You were so close to sounding like R2D2.
56:10
Wow, wow, that hurt. I felt that in my drums. 23.
56:16
I felt that in my ball. 23 out to blast this fucking.
56:20
Booty fucking missed you. Had no damage.
56:24
He actually has a 20 AC and use the shield spell.
56:28
I almost got Max damage on that one.
56:31
Tater. Tots, I'm sorry, nothing but
56:35
nothing but I'll. Just blast and.
56:38
We'll do the whole the whole Sakuna thing.
56:41
Stick my finger out, swell appears, pull it back like an
56:43
air. You are.
56:46
Are you in range? I forget I have a 300 foot range
56:49
on my. Aldridge Blast.
56:50
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I can snipe a bitch with
56:53
my elder. Sniping.
56:55
Hey you should get the spell snipers feet feet because then
56:58
like the range of all your spells is doubled.
57:01
God damn you. See you see that guy 600 feet
57:04
away? Yeah, don't hit me, Don't hit
57:09
me. So amidst all this, an axe
57:13
suddenly comes swinging as the Raider with his guts hanging
57:18
out. He's still alive.
57:22
Takes 1 slash at your warg ostrich.
57:27
I'm a bit arthric but the warg is able to just move out of the
57:30
way just in time and he's just and he missed us.
57:41
That's what I heard. You know what that's from?
57:51
Major pain, isn't it? Major pain It's.
57:55
Been a while. Yeah.
57:55
He's like, what'd you say, private to a deaf kid?
57:59
And he's like, he's my turn in it.
58:06
Yeah, Yeah. Now me and my work are both in
58:10
play. Butts.
58:12
Butts. Who doesn't like butts, Am I
58:15
right? I am an ass man.
58:17
Walk. I'm gonna need you to take a
58:19
look with your teeth. You can do it.
58:21
I don't know. You can.
58:22
Go ahead. I don't like teeth. 9 on the
58:27
dye, 14 + 5 on the bite. That hits.
58:31
Two D 6 + 3. That's the smoke from the fire.
58:36
5 four 9 + 312 The one that is directly in front of him. 12
58:47
damage. How's your work?
58:49
Kill him. He's going to tickle him with
58:51
the teeth right on his scalp he's going to bite the top of
58:55
his head off leave his yes, his upper taint yes he's going to
59:03
he's going to bite the top of his head off, leaving his brain
59:08
exposed the. War starts having a little.
59:11
Bit of lunch. That's really nice meow.
59:19
That's that's what the works are.
59:20
It's your turn. OK, thank you.
59:24
OK, So what So what I'm going to do is that guy's dead.
59:29
So I'm going to attack the other guy because that's really smart.
59:33
And you know, that's that's that's what I should do.
59:37
So what I'm going to do is, is use because I don't have a
59:41
boomerang, I can't boomerang them.
59:43
So I got AI got a spare them. So I'm going to spare them.
59:49
All right, I'm going to Vladimir.
59:51
I'm going to Vladimir the impaler him for him.
59:58
Remember, Vladimir didn't use Lube.
1:00:01
I know, trust me, I know. I'm well versed in that area.
1:00:08
The taint area. The 17 on the die.
1:00:12
That it's roll again, you have advantage. 17 on the die again,
1:00:19
OK. Wow, OK. +22488 demage.
1:00:32
The spear goes in giggity. Giggity.
1:00:36
And you can see the pain and anguish on his face as he uses
1:00:40
his hand to RIP and pull away and almost a jerk it off.
1:00:46
Hey, yo. And jerk it out of the wound.
1:00:49
Meow. As he staggers back slightly but
1:00:53
still standing so. What you got to do can.
1:00:58
You hear that Fuck. Yeah.
1:00:59
Are you coming? No, we come.
1:01:03
And go, we come and go. There it is, there it is.
1:01:17
That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.
1:01:20
There it is. No, wait, wait.
1:01:25
Let me ride that donkey. Donkey.
1:01:26
That's everyone, isn't it? What the fuck?
1:01:28
Peanut butter on that one, no? Peanut butter Jelly with a
1:01:31
baseball bat. Peanut butter Jelly.
1:01:33
Peanut butter Jelly. Peanut butter Jelly with a waste
1:01:36
ball bat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:01:37
There you go. There you go.
1:01:39
There you go. There we go.
1:01:41
Peanut butter Jelly. Peanut butter Jelly.
1:01:44
It's peanut butter Jelly. And we're back.
1:01:52
I'm sorry I just got a BB. Do you know the song?
1:01:56
You know the song Alphabet Aerobics?
1:01:59
Sorry, sorry, that's I got out of hand.
1:02:02
What? Huh.
1:02:03
I was too busy clapping cheeks. Dude you did 10 damage 8. 08 I
1:02:09
know this guy has 40 freaking HP double the warg you.
1:02:15
Know how much HPI have right now?
1:02:17
Take a guess 12 No. 13. No, that's my Max HP 7.
1:02:23
No, no, that's how much HPI have. 3.
1:02:27
I've been at 3 for a minute. I got here wanting to put in it
1:02:30
did 10 damage, put me down to three.
1:02:33
Seven since last session. Y'all need to find some health
1:02:36
potions? Wounded seeming as though he is
1:02:40
not in a good place, he rises up and begins to make a motion as
1:02:44
sand begins to coat over his wounds and a blue hue forms as.
1:02:51
This motherfucker is healing, Oh my gosh.
1:02:54
Begin to close. Oh my gosh, almost as if time is
1:02:58
rewinding. What the fuck?
1:03:00
Is he a cleric or some shock? They did it better than I did.
1:03:05
What the fuck? Yeah, you're welcome.
1:03:08
I'm professional. I'm professional at that shit.
1:03:12
And he's going to attack you. Me, but I'm innocent.
1:03:17
See but. But I'm just a nice pushing I
1:03:20
want. To wave my hands.
1:03:22
At him. Motherfucker, you're at 7 HP.
1:03:24
What are you doing? I got this.
1:03:26
I I have full HP. I have like 18 HP.
1:03:30
Trust me, he's going to die. Do you want to die?
1:03:34
Nope, I ain't going to die. What is he doing?
1:03:36
I'm not sure. I fucked hard.
1:03:39
You scared of people from the Thares or something?
1:03:41
Are you scared to see what this going to do up close?
1:03:43
Give. Me an intimidation check.
1:03:45
I have no bullets. Fucks Bullet.
1:03:51
Hey, I'm just trying to attack you.
1:03:54
You know what? Lucky I.
1:03:56
Heard there goes the last lucky. 16 I may be out of Lucky's, but
1:04:00
I ain't out of options. Hey I made that joke, I am out
1:04:05
of spells, am I? How to spell something?
1:04:07
No, I have one more I can do. So you gotta do standing there
1:04:14
next to both of you. He swings his sword once at
1:04:17
Vallejo and then arcs it back at Dera Vallejo.
1:04:21
Attack first. I'm going to use my reaction.
1:04:29
Skin of your teeth. Oh what shit fucked.
1:04:31
Up man, I really was by the skin of your teeth.
1:04:33
Yeah, really. Do all of these.
1:04:36
Sorry, Do. All of these motherfuckers have
1:04:38
a dual hit, a dual swipe on their swords.
1:04:42
Maybe. Does a 14 hit you?
1:04:45
No. Skin of the teeth, Yeah.
1:04:47
Tell everybody what spin the teeth does again.
1:04:49
As a reaction, when a creature you see hits you with an attack
1:04:52
roll, you can expend a wrist dice to dodge out of harm's way.
1:04:55
Your AC against this attack becomes a number rolled plus
1:04:58
your current AC, potentially causing it to miss.
1:05:01
Which I roll AD 84 and I got a 5 on it.
1:05:05
So right now I have a 19 AC that's a.
1:05:06
Sweet ass reaction. I know, right?
1:05:08
All right now, Dera. My turn.
1:05:12
Until my next turn. Is it my turn?
1:05:14
No, it's it's your turn to get hit.
1:05:16
Yippee he arc that sword back. Fuck.
1:05:19
That dude. Sorry, I took one of the attacks
1:05:21
well. Thank you.
1:05:22
I probably would have died. Did you get hit?
1:05:25
Fuck. My AC is 19 does.
1:05:28
A twenty hit you. No, definitely not.
1:05:33
Yeah, you hear me? No, no mate, it just hit me at
1:05:38
all. I'm actually impossible to hit.
1:05:42
I have a very high I see. I don't believe you.
1:05:46
Just tell me the damage. Goodness boy.
1:05:48
Gracious. Gosh, on that arc back the sword
1:05:53
slashes through you, exposing A booby you've.
1:05:58
Been. Demodicified 0 politely looks
1:06:01
away, like the scene from Deadpool with Colossus.
1:06:08
You got that thing. Player just grabs his hat and
1:06:11
it's like. Oh, oh, this little guy.
1:06:14
This. Little guy, what are you today?
1:06:21
But I don't know bra sizes. What is that big?
1:06:25
I don't fucking know. 12 year old boy I.
1:06:28
Don't know the big the big ones. That's great flashes.
1:06:32
You across the chest in his back swinging arc.
1:06:35
Ow my baby. And does 11 damage.
1:06:41
Damn. And as it's passing through you,
1:06:43
you notice a pulse of blue energy on the blade and you take
1:06:48
another 4 damage. Damn I'm like 1 tab that's
1:06:52
crazy. Oh my gosh fuck, I'm gonna die.
1:06:55
That. Yeah, that's what that's that's
1:06:57
me. Is that a real cup size?
1:07:00
Yes. That's fucking crazy. 36 J.
1:07:04
Vallejo, the second Raider that was making its way towards y'all
1:07:07
and then you threatened with the gun, turns back and begins
1:07:13
attacking someone else. He sees running past the one he
1:07:17
shot and is successfully intimidated 1.
1:07:18
Of these. Guys, zero.
1:07:19
It's your turn. That is not what I told you to
1:07:21
do. I just want to clarify, you did
1:07:23
16 total damage. 11 + 511 + 4. OK I have 3 HPI, got one.
1:07:30
Do me justice, little D20. And this dude is a bitch.
1:07:35
Fuck this dude. Yes.
1:07:37
Like wait. 47 API. Did forget one thing?
1:07:42
It's you're coming right up. There, I'm out of weapons.
1:07:47
Hurry. Up.
1:07:51
Fuck. Hang on, hang on, hang on, love,
1:07:54
I got you. I forgot what her voice sounds
1:07:55
like for a second there. Oh, hang on love, I got you.
1:07:58
There she goes. Oh yeah, he's probably up by
1:08:00
now. And IRA era hollow hands, you
1:08:05
feel a cold chill at your back Dara and you get 4 HP.
1:08:10
Hell yeah and. That in zeros turn.
1:08:15
So I have 7 HP total. Now 0 it is your turn, OK?
1:08:21
So I moved I00, moved forward a little bit and he's going to let
1:08:28
the rope drop from his hand, he's going to start spinning it
1:08:31
and it wrap around his leg and he's going to launch that the
1:08:33
guy. Cool I see a guy do that on
1:08:36
TikTok. He's going to start AD and DK.
1:08:39
I know dude, I'm following it. 21. 21.
1:08:46
Let's say he is flanked. That's a hit.
1:08:49
Oh yeah, he is flanked. Hold on.
1:08:51
Yeah, I know 21. No, wait, hold on, I was wrong
1:09:00
on that. No, yeah, I was 21.
1:09:01
I was 21. 3 damash, like I said, 3 damash.
1:09:07
But I would like to attempt and grapple him with the rope gut.
1:09:11
So not an actual slasher piercing attack, you're trying
1:09:14
to grapple him with it. Yeah, I want to see if I can
1:09:16
grapple him. Strength check, Strength check,
1:09:18
My strength and good. That's not bad.
1:09:27
That's not bad. It's going to be age 16.
1:09:31
The rope dart wraps him up, tangles him a bit 2-3 times.
1:09:41
As soon as he is caught and wrapped up, he hold please.
1:09:52
He, as far as you can tell, is subdued.
1:09:55
I'm going to look at him and I'm going to go, it looks like
1:09:58
you're a little tied up, buddy. And then I'm going to wave my
1:10:02
hand over my face and what? Like my body and my face and
1:10:06
cash reality smudge again? Baddie, remember what it does
1:10:09
again. So what RO?
1:10:11
Oh, nothing. Oh.
1:10:12
Sorry. I smudged my outline.
1:10:15
You're fucked, is what he's saying.
1:10:17
And flank, sorry. I'll look him dead in the
1:10:21
windows of his heartless soul. His soul.
1:10:25
And I go, an old buddy taught me this trick and I reached my hand
1:10:30
into the robe and I go, oh fuck, why is it sharper than usual?
1:10:34
So shit. Pucks in.
1:10:37
Roll with advantage. 3020 hit I. Think it was ADC 13.
1:10:44
Decks right? Yes, he's tied up so it'd be a
1:10:47
disadvantage of his deck safe. Fully blasted in the face.
1:10:56
He also takes 4 damage. And with that, struggling over
1:11:02
the pain, he falls over, struggling on the ground,
1:11:07
writhing. Want to kick him while he's
1:11:09
down? So he's still in turn order
1:11:11
since he can't see. Yes, damn.
1:11:14
I had such. A good idea what?
1:11:20
What were you about to do? Oh, I was kicking him while he
1:11:22
was down because it's still my turn.
1:11:24
Reaction. What's his reaction?
1:11:27
He begins to shudder and fade and moves back, leaving your
1:11:31
rope dropped and. He's made me waste my net 20.
1:11:38
This will piss your players off. He's not going to be able to do
1:11:43
it again. Temporal flicker guess.
1:11:45
I'm going to run up and try to kick him regularly.
1:11:47
Very well. Tag roll 21 that is.
1:11:51
Is he still a disadvantage? Yes, he's still blinded.
1:11:54
He takes too light. Takes too damage.
1:11:57
Because the kick, Yep, you literally kicked him.
1:12:00
Genuinely cannot do anything else.
1:12:02
I am down to pisting, pistol whipping people, bitch slapping
1:12:05
and kicking shins. Fair enough.
1:12:07
So you wasted my nap 20 just to have him avoid being kicked
1:12:11
slightly harder? It's a reaction he has.
1:12:15
I didn't do it. I didn't do it.
1:12:18
Yeah. He returned.
1:12:22
How was this bloody mate not dead?
1:12:24
I don't understand. I kicked him in the Dick.
1:12:27
He's taking a hell of a beating. So he's loose, but he's still.
1:12:31
You don't know, I don't. You want to fucking play with
1:12:34
me? Well, I think I need to finish
1:12:37
this made off. Not like that.
1:12:40
Like, you know, with violence. Getting well, his Dick is
1:12:43
kicked. Going to try and Blatter me and
1:12:46
paler him. Advantage. 10.
1:12:51
I miss his love. Fuck, fuck.
1:12:57
I get hit, is that better? Yeah, OK, so is his time.
1:13:03
He forgot about your ward. There's no way he.
1:13:06
Died. Oh mate, there's no ward right
1:13:07
now. He's got kicking balls.
1:13:09
Yeah. Ward.
1:13:12
Go bite his junk off. It's it's been tenderized with a
1:13:16
foot. From this point forward, my
1:13:18
boots shall be known as the meat tenderizers.
1:13:22
Right in the Jigglypuffs. 1515 + 520 5 + 6 + 3.
1:13:34
Hell yeah. 14 damage, he's going to bite his Dick off and he's
1:13:39
going to bleed out, pass out from the shock starts.
1:13:43
Being ravaged by the Borg, it's just biting and just tearing at
1:13:48
him. And then out of nowhere,
1:13:52
Millwood hey slams and snaps the bench over this guy's head as he
1:13:58
crumples to the ground. And at that moment, Ulrich Thane
1:14:02
comes out from the hush net in bloodied and battered.
1:14:06
Well, you look, you need to go ahead and just head to the
1:14:08
shrine. That's what they're after.
1:14:10
That's what they're doing here. We can handle this.
1:14:14
Hello Ira, my name is Zerah, you do not know me, but I know you
1:14:18
era. Oh my God.
1:14:19
Oh don't worry, I was trapped inside.
1:14:21
Father is 0 trapped inside Father Ostrich's body and now he
1:14:24
is free because Father Ostrich has passed away.
1:14:27
Do you think you could give me some of that healing?
1:14:29
Do you think you could give 0 some of that healing magic that
1:14:31
you do? She literally leans across
1:14:34
almost ignoring you and just goes what the fuck is going on?
1:14:40
There is a lot that has happened.
1:14:41
I was planning to come back, get some drinks, celebrate the
1:14:44
death, Father Ostrich, you know, not the sad, why not?
1:14:48
Not like that, you know, life long lived and all that gets
1:14:51
you. Anyway, past all that, you got
1:14:53
some bullets. I'm out.
1:14:55
You're telling me that ostrich's dead and this guy's here now?
1:14:58
I knew Zeal was trapped inside Father Ostrich's body Sheridan
1:15:01
placed him into when he was a child.
1:15:03
As you mentioned, the bullets all where it goes I Vallejo
1:15:10
Vallejo Veneer's dead but she had something for you and he
1:15:17
tosses you a pouch roll AD 6 twice. 9.
1:15:25
Photo OK As you open up the pouch, as far as you can tell,
1:15:30
you see a good handful of bullets.
1:15:33
Plus one because the one I left her with.
1:15:36
Who's to say that's not one of the nine?
1:15:39
Yeah, sure, you got 10 bullets ERA.
1:15:42
Era are you can you can you heal 0?
1:15:44
No please. 0 is hurting a lot. Well, all right, I guess.
1:15:51
Shame about Austria here. There's a couple.
1:15:54
You got some fucking saving to do.
1:15:56
Do not worry about Austria, here's in a much happier place
1:16:00
now, I made sure of it. Well, that sounds very menacing.
1:16:04
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was not menacing.
1:16:08
I'm being Xer's being very serious right now.
1:16:10
He made sure of Father Raja Quinto.
1:16:12
Yeah. Yikes.
1:16:13
I kind of want also, that's why I gave it to you.
1:16:17
That's all right. I'm going to ask HP.
1:16:20
Yeah, mate. Where's?
1:16:22
Where's my daughter? I left her in your care.
1:16:25
Is she inside? She's safe.
1:16:28
Oh, Deborah, I have some terrible news.
1:16:30
No. She's over at Tom's house.
1:16:35
Not Tom. He's.
1:16:38
What the hair mate? You supposed to take care of
1:16:42
her? Tom's a little bitch.
1:16:44
She's not going to do nothing. Oh yeah, by the way, day, right?
1:16:47
Tom is, seen him in a while. Oh well, there you go.
1:16:50
He was one of those bodies in the snow back.
1:16:52
There what? So she inherited his house?
1:16:55
Did she marry him or something? She might have inherited his
1:16:58
grave. Did she marry him?
1:17:00
Where's my daughter and Toms? Did she marry him?
1:17:04
Was she a Toms? Well, that's fucking weird.
1:17:06
No, no, he, we, we just put her off and they had to hide.
1:17:11
There's no fucking door on the damn place.
1:17:13
So we just figured, you know, it'll look, it'll look
1:17:15
abandoned. That's a terrible idea.
1:17:18
Well, what else were we supposed to that sound like a man?
1:17:21
Well, what else were we supposed to do?
1:17:25
If she dies, if she dies, I'm coming for you, motherfucker,
1:17:29
coming for you. All right, all right.
1:17:32
Can we, can we go? We'll go get it.
1:17:34
I was just going to say like, why don't we just like go there
1:17:37
and they go to the shrine? Yeah, you motherfuckers go to
1:17:40
the shrine. You go for the scary people. 0
1:17:43
is going to go to the shrine. You go find your daughter. 0
1:17:47
Check on the shrine and make sure Sister Marin is OK.
1:17:50
Oh, God. Yeah.
1:17:51
Yeah. Sister Marin.
1:17:52
All right, Zero. You're coming with us.
1:17:54
Yeah. All we're just kind of, you
1:17:56
know, he stroking off his pain. And Oreck.
1:18:00
Hello, Oreck. And it's so nice to finally meet
1:18:02
you. I don't know what that is, but
1:18:04
let's go. Come on.
1:18:05
We got My name is Zero. I was trapped inside body 0 is
1:18:08
trapped inside Father Rodrick's body.
1:18:09
For 84 years, Sarah didn't put him in there.
1:18:11
And now, since Father Rodrick is dead, 0 is free.
1:18:14
I can give you the rundown after all of this is settled.
1:18:16
Do not worry. This is just a huge moment of
1:18:19
silence and just a blistering amount of information that you
1:18:22
just threw at Ulrich and his head kind of just, he's just
1:18:25
pause. Is he just looks at me, goes.
1:18:31
Can you fight? Oh, as you can fight, do not
1:18:33
worry. Well, all right then let's go.
1:18:37
So 3 of you heading to the shrine they're.
1:18:39
Heading to Tom's. House 3 of you, you're right.
1:18:42
Go to Tom's house and I guess. Me in the Norway and they're
1:18:48
going to go to Tom's. And that is where we were in
1:18:52
position. Everyone thank you for
1:18:54
listening. Thank you podcast listeners for.
1:18:56
Listening. I wasn't say I want to.
1:19:08
And also just want to show appreciation for everybody.
1:19:11
Thank you so much for following. Please follow us, share us out,
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help us grow, make sure that we can help you out too.
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I don't. Know thanks for listening guys
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Appreciate the shit out of y'all.
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awesome. Norse Pagan, love it.
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