Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 182 | How Abandonment Patterns Show Up in Your Money Mindset and Business (Part 2)

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182 | How Abandonment Patterns Show Up in Your Money Mindset and Business (Part 2) · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

0:00
Erin Gray: Welcome back to Your Money, Your Rules podcast with me, your host, Erin Gray.
0:04
Erin Gray: So glad you're here.
0:05
Erin Gray: Thank you for joining me.
0:06
Erin Gray: Today's podcast is going to be a continuation from the previous episode, last um episode.
0:12
Erin Gray: If you want to go back, if you haven't listened to that, go back, listen to that one.
0:15
Erin Gray: I talk about abandonment patterns.
0:17
Erin Gray: And it was more so probably from just an understanding and also from a personal perspective.
0:23
Erin Gray: But today, what I'm going to talk about is how it actually shows up in your business, what it looks like.
0:27
Erin Gray: And then we're going to go through some of these scenarios so that you can recognize it and then obviously do the work to release so that you can show up in more clean energy, more empowered energy.
0:38
Erin Gray: So let's dive in.
0:40
Erin Gray: So abandonment style patterns, like I'm no therapist.
0:45
Erin Gray: I always tell you, like I go through my own experience, but I think they show up with money because your body and also your brain, because if you've done any type of research with trauma in the brain, but your brain and your body, they don't actually separate emotional safety or they don't understand emotional safety from financial safety.
1:06
Erin Gray: So if you've learned that safety can disappear at any moment, that you know it's going to like the way that your mind or your body treats money is going to be the same way that a child treats their caregiver, something that you depend on, something that you might fear losing, something that feels very unpredictable.
1:27
Erin Gray: And a lot of us, and I talked about this in the previous episode, a lot of us didn't necessarily have parents that unconditionally loved us, right?
1:36
Erin Gray: We had to earn love.
1:37
Erin Gray: We had to probably earn affection, earn approval, lots of earning energy.
1:44
Erin Gray: And, you know, this is no fault of our parents, right?
1:47
Erin Gray: They probably got that.
1:48
Erin Gray: I mean, somebody had to teach it to them, right?
1:50
Erin Gray: Which was probably their parents, and on and on and on it goes.
1:53
Erin Gray: But a lot of us didn't grow up in households that felt safe, that felt secure, that we were taught that, you know, that we are okay, that our feelings are okay and safe to have all of our emotions, and that also that our safety and our security comes within.
2:09
Erin Gray: And ultimately, like I truly believe like it is a connection to God, right?
2:13
Erin Gray: When you are so connected to God and you know that no matter what, He's got you, that is a very different feeling that you move from the world than if you feel like that you've all got to do it all on your own.
2:25
Erin Gray: So I want to talk about why it happens, and then I'm gonna give specific examples and like so then you can look and see like where is this showing up in your business.
2:33
Erin Gray: So a lot of times these patterns they come from if you grew up with financial instability, or even if you grew up with you did have money and then it was suddenly like there was some sudden loss.
2:44
Erin Gray: Maybe you were raised by parents or caregivers who were inconsistent or predictable with their care, with their love, with their support, with their words, with their energy.
2:56
Erin Gray: If you've had any type of past experience with like if you were in a job or any type of, you know, financial trauma.
3:03
Erin Gray: And financial trauma can be a whole gamut of things.
3:07
Erin Gray: And I don't know who coined the term like big T and little T trauma, but big T trauma is like some big event, right?
3:15
Erin Gray: Like I've talked about my event, and I don't like continuing to bring it up because it's just, you know, but you know, when I was 10, like that was a big emotional impact event for me.
3:24
Erin Gray: But then there's also like that little T trauma of like it's it's occurring on a daily basis or just a little bit at a time, over and over and over for several years of your life.
3:34
Erin Gray: There can be that kind of trauma too.
3:36
Erin Gray: So some of us might have, or a lot of us, have linked our self-worth to financial security or even some type of bank balance.
3:46
Erin Gray: Like I used to put my self-worth on what my net worth was, which actually didn't matter what my net worth was because my self-worth was in the shitter.
3:56
Erin Gray: So, you know, even as my net worth grew, I didn't feel good about myself.
4:01
Erin Gray: That's because here you go back to like it's got to be an inside job.
4:04
Erin Gray: So no matter how much my net worth grew, how much our investments and our assets grew, how much money we had in the bank and all the things, I didn't feel good about myself.
4:13
Erin Gray: I didn't have a good self-concept.
4:16
Erin Gray: When I say good self-concept, what I mean is like a an empowered, a loving, a compassionate self-concept of myself that no matter regardless of whatever happened outside of me, including bank balances and investments accounts and business and whatever else, I was still worthy and deserving of love and compassion and living an amazing life.
4:36
Erin Gray: So, how it shows up in your business, it could be, I'm gonna list several of these.
4:41
Erin Gray: You could show it could show up in all of these areas for you.
4:44
Erin Gray: It could show up in some of them, could be one of them.
4:47
Erin Gray: Just play with it, recognize where are you noticing yourself, where is that coming from, and then do the work to release some of this.
4:55
Erin Gray: So the first one is fear of raising your prices or charging what you're worth.
5:01
Erin Gray: One of the beautiful things that I have been around in my life is a lot of men, male energy, masculine energy, and also males.
5:12
Erin Gray: You know, financial planning was at the time a very male-dominated, as was construction.
5:17
Erin Gray: And one of the beautiful things that I absorbed just by being in that environment is charging what your experience and your expertise and the value that you provide.
5:32
Erin Gray: I think there is a difference between men and women when it comes to that.
5:35
Erin Gray: Like I remember employees, most of them obviously were men, they had no problems coming and asking for races, but I can't count if ever any of the women came and asked for races.
5:46
Erin Gray: And so that's just something to notice about ourselves.
5:50
Erin Gray: And I do want to say here too, that our childhood was not all bad, right?
5:54
Erin Gray: I think sometimes the the brain, the body wants to, and when I say bad, I'm just air quoting, right?
6:00
Erin Gray: Like what we what we remember, we remember those big emotional impacts.
6:04
Erin Gray: But there's a lot of things that our parents taught us that was actually helpful.
6:10
Erin Gray: So just keeping that in mind as well.
6:12
Erin Gray: So if you are fearing raising your prices or charging what the perceived value, and I don't want to say charge what you're worth because a lot of people say that.
6:21
Erin Gray: When I say charge what you're worth, I don't mean you because you are worthy, like you're priceless.
6:27
Erin Gray: There is no dollar amount for you.
6:30
Erin Gray: There is a perceived value of your experience, of your expertise.
6:35
Erin Gray: Like the reason why I can look at your tax return and I can point out certain things to you, and we can have a conversation with your CPA is because I got 20 years of looking at tax returns, right?
6:46
Erin Gray: I speed up that process for you.
6:48
Erin Gray: I educate you.
6:49
Erin Gray: And so there is a value to that, to understanding taxes, to helping you and empowering you and educating you, right?
6:59
Erin Gray: So when I say charging what you're worth, what I really mean is charging for the perceived value.
7:04
Erin Gray: And let's just be honest, it's all arbitrary, right?
7:08
Erin Gray: I mean, one of the things that I'm sitting with right now is like, okay, all of these things that I help clients with, it's like fractional CFO stuff and bookkeeping and like talking to the attorneys and talking to the CPA and talking to the bookkeeper and all of the emotional regulation stuff and the coaching and the mentorship and like therapy, like just all of these things that I do.
7:31
Erin Gray: And when I am trying to come up with a number right now, because I'm making some changes in my business, when I'm trying to come up with a number, it isn't coming from a place of I don't think I'm worthy of this, I don't think I'm deserving of this.
7:44
Erin Gray: It's like I've been really having to sit with and ask myself, okay, Aaron, the Aaron that runs this type of company that would hire an Aaron for her, like, what would I so gladly pay based on all of my knowledge, my experience, and my expertise?
8:01
Erin Gray: You know, I was asking my husband last night, I was like, ask me some questions.
8:04
Erin Gray: I'm like, because there is so much that I do for clients that I speed up time.
8:10
Erin Gray: I, you know, educate you on so many things.
8:13
Erin Gray: And so it's really, it's obviously made up, right?
8:18
Erin Gray: It is a number that, like, what I always start with like, what would I be so willing and glad to pay?
8:24
Erin Gray: Because it's not about the time, right?
8:27
Erin Gray: It's about the experience and the expertise.
8:29
Erin Gray: I remember it's been a couple of years, but I was helping another client with her and her husband.
8:34
Erin Gray: And she was just like, you just did it so quickly.
8:37
Erin Gray: And I'm like, yes, because I've looked at umpteen million tax returns.
8:42
Erin Gray: I have looked at so many books so many times, I can easily spot where the issues are.
8:48
Erin Gray: So take that for you of like your experience, your expertise, all of the wisdom and the knowledge that you have.
8:55
Erin Gray: Are you charging what you would gladly pay?
8:59
Erin Gray: And really, really ask yourself, you know, because if deep down you're worrying about, well, if I ask for too much, clients are gonna leave, or they may not hire me if I don't make myself, you know, affordable, or this price is too expensive.
9:15
Erin Gray: And I want to say here, you're always gonna be too high for someone, you're always gonna be too low for someone, and you're always gonna be just right for somebody.
9:23
Erin Gray: Okay.
9:23
Erin Gray: And that is all of their perceived, right?
9:27
Erin Gray: And you you may not want to, like I've priced myself out of certain clients.
9:31
Erin Gray: That's okay, right?
9:32
Erin Gray: Because what that shows me is they weren't ready to ascend and they weren't ready to take some of my recommendations.
9:39
Erin Gray: When I say seriously, what I mean is like actually take action on it, right?
9:43
Erin Gray: And when you elevate your pricing, you know, when you pay, you pay attention.
9:49
Erin Gray: So really, really ask yourself am I afraid to increase my prices or charge what my experience and my expertise and my wisdom and my years of experience and the value and the transformation that I'm going to help a client receive or a customer or whatever it might be, you know, am I afraid to do that because I might feel rejection?
10:13
Erin Gray: Right.
10:13
Erin Gray: Because that's really where it's coming from.
10:15
Erin Gray: The second thing is taking on clients you don't actually want.
10:19
Erin Gray: Right.
10:20
Erin Gray: People that have these patterns, we tend to this is where I talk about like moving away from energy.
10:29
Erin Gray: Like we don't want to air quotes lose any client, right?
10:34
Erin Gray: So we say yes to people we actually don't want to be customers.
10:39
Erin Gray: But like Correto's principle is like the 80-20 rule.
10:43
Erin Gray: It's like 80% of the consequences or effects, right, come from 20% of the causes.
10:51
Erin Gray: Like when I was in my family's construction business, it was like our top 20% like clients or customers generated 80% of our income, right?
11:02
Erin Gray: And so, like, even if you take Pareto's law, I don't remember what book I read this in, but like he even like went even further, like 8020 of the 8020 and 8020 of the 8020.
11:12
Erin Gray: Does that make sense?
11:12
Erin Gray: And so it's like he just went so micro and you're just like, wow, like you're probably top two, three, four clients are probably some of your best paying clients.
11:22
Erin Gray: And what could you do?
11:23
Erin Gray: And if you focus on those people and the income that they bring in, how would that impact your business, right?
11:30
Erin Gray: Versus thinking that you have to take on everyone, you know.
11:34
Erin Gray: So you take on underpaying clients.
11:36
Erin Gray: And it has been my experience when you have, when you are not pricing at where you are energetically, you're gonna have clients that maybe or act disrespectful.
11:49
Erin Gray: They're gonna feel like energy draining clients, they're going to question everything.
11:54
Erin Gray: And I have no problems with you questioning, but like nitpicking is the word that comes to mind, you know, or they're gonna want to discount for everything, right?
12:02
Erin Gray: They're on a different frequency than what you are.
12:05
Erin Gray: And that's okay.
12:06
Erin Gray: Like maybe, you know, someone that's newer in the business, maybe that's someone that needs to be, right?
12:11
Erin Gray: But if you've got years and years of experience in whatever, you know, realm you're in, then charging for that expertise.
12:21
Erin Gray: So I also want to say here that this also shows up with people that we work with in our business, like the attorneys, like the CPAs, the bookkeepers, any people that help you in your business, like I have said this so many times, we don't have to tolerate any type of condescending, talking down to, thinking that they don't have to explain.
12:44
Erin Gray: When I say gaslighting, I know that gets overused, but I had a client tell me the other day that her CPA just like she'll ask a question or she just bypasses her.
12:51
Erin Gray: She doesn't even answer the question.
12:53
Erin Gray: I'm like, not acceptable, right?
12:54
Erin Gray: Like, no, we're gonna have a conversation with her.
12:56
Erin Gray: So it's just like understanding, you know, why are you taking on clients or working with people you don't actually want to be working with?
13:08
Erin Gray: What are you tolerating?
13:09
Erin Gray: And we tolerate this because uh a client leaving, it feels like safety is also leaving.
13:17
Erin Gray: So instead of letting clients go that don't align with you anymore and that you are on a different frequency with, and then believing that another client that is on their way to you that actually does match your frequency, right?
13:33
Erin Gray: We hold on, we tolerate, we drain our energy and we fear that if we leave, no one else is coming versus a belief that could be much more empowering and that could serve you is you know what, clients are allowed to come and go.
13:45
Erin Gray: And every client that I am, you know, that is coming on or customer that I'm receiving is my like most ideal client.
13:52
Erin Gray: And not being willing, don't allow yourself to take someone on that you are not at a vibrational match to.
14:00
Erin Gray: And this is where you have to slow down.
14:01
Erin Gray: This is where you have to tap into your to intuition, because I will tell you how they are acting, either on a sales call or you know, an initial call or a proposal or an estimate.
14:13
Erin Gray: It's one thing to get clarifying questions, but when you're tuned in and you're tapped into energy, you can sense, right, if they are going to be one of those clients that may just not be worth the effort.
14:26
Erin Gray: And that's okay.
14:27
Erin Gray: You know, it's okay to say, listen, there might be a better person that might serve you better.
14:32
Erin Gray: It's okay.
14:33
Erin Gray: It's okay to say that.
14:34
Erin Gray: It's okay to let people go.
14:35
Erin Gray: It's okay to not bring someone on.
14:37
Erin Gray: Because here's what will happen.
14:38
Erin Gray: When you do bring them on, like I already said, the energy, the time involved, all of that is going to like your energy is so precious.
14:47
Erin Gray: You have to act and you have to move from that space.
14:49
Erin Gray: Okay, if you are working, the third one is if you are working to earn air quotes, you know, I've talked about so often, a lot of us had to earn respect, earn love, earn money, like from this very proving, forcing place.
15:04
Erin Gray: So if you grew up more so of like if survival was something that was a norm in your family, not creative, not thriving, you might have grown up, like I said, earning your peak.
15:16
Erin Gray: And and this came from a place of where our parents were trying to teach us value, trying to teach us money, but they kind of, I don't know, if conflated is the word I want to use, but like they mesh that with like you having you, you not being able to rest, you having to earn your place in the house.
15:33
Erin Gray: It's like, no, you get to live in the house because you're a child and you get to live in the house and you get to be fed and you get to be cared for and you get to be loved on.
15:41
Erin Gray: Now, generating money, understanding how money works because you want to instill value in your children and help them understand value exchange, it's very different than you have to earn your keep.
15:53
Erin Gray: So, because of this, maybe you have learned that you have to work nonstop.
15:58
Erin Gray: Like this is where a lot of workaholism can come from.
16:01
Erin Gray: Maybe you feel like that resting or you can't rest, or resting is lazy, or you have to earn your rest.
16:08
Erin Gray: You also might have to feel like you have to earn your play.
16:11
Erin Gray: You might be feeling like, okay, I have to keep going.
16:14
Erin Gray: I have to, it's almost just like you've got to keep riding the bike, or if you don't, everything's gonna fall apart.
16:18
Erin Gray: You also might just fear like slowing down.
16:21
Erin Gray: And so when you have been raised in this survival mentality of like go, go, go, go, go, hustle, hustle, hustle, keep going, we have to keep going.
16:28
Erin Gray: Then it looks like it could feel like, oh, I'm so ambitious.
16:32
Erin Gray: But what this is really showing you underneath is like the earning is what you have associated with stability and safety, which what we want to do is create or have like thriving creativity is our security, is our stability.
16:49
Erin Gray: Okay.
16:49
Erin Gray: Fourth one is hoarding money.
16:51
Erin Gray: I talked about this on the previous episode, or being afraid to invest.
16:54
Erin Gray: So this is gonna come from obviously from fear of like if I circulate, if I spend money, I won't get it back.
17:00
Erin Gray: Like I hear that all the time with women.
17:02
Erin Gray: You know, they're afraid to invest in themselves because they don't have the belief that everything that they invest in, it circulates back to them and it circulates back double and they make a return on their investment and they're good for it, right?
17:15
Erin Gray: Like that is the belief that you need to have in yourself.
17:18
Erin Gray: That is the self-trust that you need to have in yourself.
17:20
Erin Gray: If you have a belief like, what if my business fails?
17:23
Erin Gray: So we aren't putting trust and security within ourselves because we have been taught that security and safety is something that happens outside of us.
17:31
Erin Gray: But no, we are the ones that make our business thrive.
17:34
Erin Gray: We are the ones that create whatever we want in our life.
17:37
Erin Gray: It comes initially from our thinking, from our feeling.
17:40
Erin Gray: And then ultimately from that alignment, we take action from that place.
17:44
Erin Gray: So that might look like you avoiding to hire any help in your business.
17:48
Erin Gray: Maybe you aren't marketing the way that you actually want to be because you're afraid if I invest in my marketing, what if it doesn't pan out?
17:56
Erin Gray: Right.
17:57
Erin Gray: It's coming from this belief of it's not going to work.
18:00
Erin Gray: Maybe you are trying to keep every penny, like being a penny pincher, right?
18:06
Erin Gray: Because that feels like safety.
18:07
Erin Gray: Maybe you're holding on, you're not wanting to actually invest and put money back into your business, back into yourself, back into your mindset and your thinking and growing.
18:15
Erin Gray: Or it could also be where you're trying to pay a bill as quickly as it comes in because you're afraid that you won't have the money when it's time to be due, right?
18:25
Erin Gray: So if you've got a counts payable and they're on a net 30, maybe you pay them like the day or the next day that the bill comes in because you're like, I don't know what's going to happen 30 days from now.
18:35
Erin Gray: This is a very clear distinction.
18:38
Erin Gray: I want to be very clear here.
18:40
Erin Gray: This is very different than paying bills on time or early from an abundant and from a secure place, right?
18:48
Erin Gray: When you pay bills from an abundant and a secure place, it's like, oh, I love to pay my vendors or my people on time or early.
18:56
Erin Gray: It feels so good.
18:57
Erin Gray: I have so much money.
18:59
Erin Gray: Like it comes from a having place.
19:01
Erin Gray: But if you're trying to pay bills early because you're afraid you're not going to have money, you actually like this is what I've recommended with some clients.
19:09
Erin Gray: It's like, actually, we need to practice having money.
19:12
Erin Gray: We actually need to practice having and holding money for several days, weeks.
19:17
Erin Gray: Like we need to build up this um window of tolerance where we have bills and we look at our AP reports and there are there's money on there.
19:27
Erin Gray: And we also look at our bank balance and we have money in our account.
19:31
Erin Gray: Because if you're someone who's like, oh my goodness, I I don't know when it's gonna come, you're gonna try to get rid of it as quickly as you can.
19:38
Erin Gray: So just recognizing where am I?
19:42
Erin Gray: Am I holding on?
19:43
Erin Gray: Am I hoarding or am I trying to pay so quickly because I'm afraid I don't know when it will more will come on.
19:50
Erin Gray: So some clients, you're gonna have to check in with your body, you're gonna have to check in with who you are being.
19:56
Erin Gray: Some clients, they need actually need to, like this is me.
19:58
Erin Gray: I needed to circulate, I needed to spend money, right?
20:01
Erin Gray: I had accumulated and allocated plenty of money.
20:03
Erin Gray: I needed to circulate it, right?
20:05
Erin Gray: I needed to move that money.
20:07
Erin Gray: Some of us actually need to have it to hold it, like be in the practice of having money and just see it, right?
20:14
Erin Gray: Just be in that energy of someone that can.
20:17
Erin Gray: This is like what I call like you're increasing your capacity to have.
20:20
Erin Gray: So you might need to just practice having the money and you'll know who you are by how you feel in your body and what are you used to doing.
20:29
Erin Gray: Okay, number five is maybe you start to worry or you panic when sales, and I'm air quoting, slow down.
20:36
Erin Gray: Like someone asked me that the other day, and I was like, I would never use that word in my business.
20:41
Erin Gray: Slow is a thought, slow is a mindset.
20:45
Erin Gray: You know, there's the whole like law of nature, like nature isn't growing, growing, growing, growing, growing all the time all the time, right?
20:52
Erin Gray: There's ebbs and flows in nature that also happens in business.
20:56
Erin Gray: But when you look at, and I'm air quoting a slow month of what you're deeming as a slow month, if you're thinking, oh my gosh, the world is ending, I'm failing, I'm gonna lose everything, the business is going in the gutter, right?
21:09
Erin Gray: If you go to like doom and gloom, you have to think about the energy that you're in and what is actually, what is that gonna create, versus instead of you know seeing just it as a natural business cycle or thinking, oh, okay, well, I guess I was off next month.
21:24
Erin Gray: That's you know, it's that's what it's gonna be.
21:26
Erin Gray: My, you know, whatever I wanted to make, it's gonna be next month.
21:30
Erin Gray: You are instead choosing to think, and it is a choice and it is a practice.
21:35
Erin Gray: You are choosing to think, oh my gosh, the other shoe is dropping, the sky is falling, all of that, right?
21:40
Erin Gray: And then your body, you know, experiences or feels that as abandonment, as loss, as lack, as scarcity.
21:48
Erin Gray: And this is a practice.
21:49
Erin Gray: This is where you get to explore where am I?
21:54
Erin Gray: Like, what are my immediate thoughts?
21:57
Erin Gray: You want to know like, what are you thinking and feeling?
21:59
Erin Gray: It's like when Something doesn't go your way, what is your first thought?
22:02
Erin Gray: Shit's hitting the fan, it's not going to like, oh my goodness, you know, like panic and worry, then you probably have an underlying belief of things don't work out for me.
22:11
Erin Gray: But if your first thought is, huh, that's interesting.
22:15
Erin Gray: If you're one of curiosity, if you're like, hmm, interesting, okay, I just totally thought it was going to be this month, oh, well, then it'll be next month.
22:21
Erin Gray: And you don't even give any, and I'm not to say like, don't look at your numbers, but if you're if you're looking at them from this place of like, what's wrong?
22:29
Erin Gray: Why did this happen?
22:30
Erin Gray: Versus like, oh, that's interesting.
22:31
Erin Gray: Is there anything that we need to shift for next month?
22:33
Erin Gray: Very different energy.
22:35
Erin Gray: The sixth one is like fear of visibility.
22:38
Erin Gray: So if you know, if you were conditionally loved or you um had conditional, what I call conditional connection, right?
22:50
Erin Gray: A lot of us, I think this is something I would love to explore even further on podcasts of a lot of us had mothers that there was some conditional love, conditional connection.
23:02
Erin Gray: And so if we spoke up, if we really showed our family who we were and we spoke up for ourselves, we might have gotten squashed.
23:12
Erin Gray: And that taught us to stay small.
23:14
Erin Gray: It taught us to not talk back, to not stand up for ourselves.
23:18
Erin Gray: And so maybe because of that, subconsciously, we might be not showing up online, right?
23:25
Erin Gray: We might feel worried about being judged, or we might be so upset with negative, any type of negative comments, or when someone provides, as they say, constructive criticism, right?
23:38
Erin Gray: If someone's giving us, you know, feedback and we're we're taking it personally, we're taking it as attack because visibility being seen feels unsafe because here we go back to what if we it it associates like with rejection, right?
23:56
Erin Gray: Like when I used to speak up, I would get in trouble.
23:59
Erin Gray: Or when I spoke up with my mom, maybe she gave me the silent treatment for several days.
24:04
Erin Gray: When I spoke up with my mom, she ignored me, or she I had to walk on eggshells, right?
24:09
Erin Gray: So it's like coming back and really retrieving those parts of us that we had to abandon because we felt like it was unsafe to be who we truly are.
24:21
Erin Gray: And then the last one is you know, maybe we have difficulty making decisions.
24:26
Erin Gray: Like I know I've talked about on the podcast already, you know, I was like, okay, 2026, even bolder.
24:31
Erin Gray: I'm even saying even more of what I want to say.
24:34
Erin Gray: Like, I'm gonna be so clean in my energy.
24:36
Erin Gray: And then when I came back from Maui, I'm like, no, even deeper, you know, but like making decisions and sticking with them and being so clean and so clear in your energy.
24:48
Erin Gray: So if you were someone who stood up, this kind of goes back into the previous one.
24:53
Erin Gray: If you stood up for yourself, if you were like, no, I don't want to do this, and then you got reprimanded or you got ignored, or you were kind of forced to conform, then you might not be someone right now who's like, you know what?
25:08
Erin Gray: This is what I want, this is why I want it, and this is how it's, you know, we're gonna move forward.
25:13
Erin Gray: You might, you may not be as decisive with your decisions.
25:17
Erin Gray: This also comes back to your intuition if you were taught like I was to make a pros and cons list and to like, I mean, I didn't recognize it until recently of like a lot of times my parents look at everything like they almost are making contingency plans.
25:32
Erin Gray: And I'm like, why would you even go in with the energy of like it's not gonna work out?
25:36
Erin Gray: Because based on the law of assumption, what we assume is what's gonna be true, right?
25:40
Erin Gray: So we're actually proving that it won't work out because we have a belief that it won't work out.
25:44
Erin Gray: So then it actually won't work out versus no, it's fine, it's always gonna work out.
25:48
Erin Gray: I'm going, I'm having full faith, I'm moving forward, I'm doing the thing, I'm making and like making a strong decision, like moving from faith and making very decisive, clean.
25:59
Erin Gray: When I say clean energy, what I mean is not wibble wobbling, not like him and hain.
26:05
Erin Gray: It's like, no, this is where we're going, this is what we're doing.
26:08
Erin Gray: And when you move from that place, the energy will be met, right?
26:13
Erin Gray: You're moving from that energy.
26:14
Erin Gray: So everything else has to meet you with that same energy.
26:18
Erin Gray: So go back, think about.
26:20
Erin Gray: I'm gonna list them as I um just to recap.
26:24
Erin Gray: The first one is, you know, fear of raising prices or charging what your perceived value is.
26:31
Erin Gray: It could be you taking on the second one, is taking on clients that you actually don't want.
26:35
Erin Gray: It could be overworking or under-earning or overworking to earn some type of stability, safety, things of that sort.
26:43
Erin Gray: Number four can be hoarding money or being afraid to invest in yourself and in your business.
26:49
Erin Gray: Number five is like feeling worry or panic or fear when sales don't look like how you thought that they would look.
26:58
Erin Gray: What meaning are you making that?
27:00
Erin Gray: Six can be just that fear of visibility, of being seen, of like I equate that one to also of like fear of success.
27:09
Erin Gray: Like we think we're afraid of failure.
27:11
Erin Gray: No, what I've really realized is we're afraid of success.
27:14
Erin Gray: Because I think for a lot of women, what that comes down to is we feel like that we're going to lose connection.
27:19
Erin Gray: Will we still be able to connect with our spouse, with our children?
27:22
Erin Gray: Like we have grown up in this either or mentality.
27:26
Erin Gray: So really being mindful of that.
27:28
Erin Gray: And then the last one, like I mentioned, was are we making very clear and decisive decisions?
27:35
Erin Gray: Okay.
27:35
Erin Gray: Woo, that felt like a lot today.
27:38
Erin Gray: Okay.
27:38
Erin Gray: If this is something that resonates with you, if you want support, if you want to see what it would look like to work together, how I can support you, I would love the opportunity to sit down to have a call with you, see what it is that you are wanting support in your business.
27:53
Erin Gray: Also, maybe it's also your personal life, anything to do with money, mindset, emotions, all of the things.
28:00
Erin Gray: You can book a call with me by just clicking the link in the show notes and scheduling a time that works for you.
28:05
Erin Gray: Okay.
28:06
Erin Gray: As always, I am rooting for each of you.
28:09
Erin Gray: I think we uh live in such an amazing time.
28:12
Erin Gray: And we, I think, as women, and I don't mean this from a feminist because I don't buy into that, but I really believe that we are such in an amazing time where we get to step into our power and we get to lead from such a loving, soft, supportive place.
28:32
Erin Gray: And when I say lead, I don't mean necessarily like out in front, right?
28:36
Erin Gray: I mean leading in our families, leading in our business, leading with our spouses.
28:41
Erin Gray: And we're doing this from a such a loving, supportive, powerful place, not a, you know, pump your chest up and show, show you, right?
28:50
Erin Gray: From a calm, connected, an intuitive place.
28:54
Erin Gray: So, okay, I will see you in the next episode.