Latest / We Talk Back / Never Hold Your Gay feat. Phillip Miller

Transcript

Never Hold Your Gay feat. Phillip Miller · We Talk Back

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Network Talk.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: talks back.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: What's up, y'all, it's your girl a j holiday.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: What's up? Tam damn? Hey, y'all is Tam Bam. I
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: love y'all so very much. How you doing there?
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I'm well, I'm alive, I'm breathing, feeling fine, looking fine.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: How was your weekend?
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: I can't talk about it.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Ooh ooh, that's good.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: I had to go.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: It was raining off fu a weekend child. I was
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: in the house, okay, laying down doing what I like
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: to do. So you were on your knees all you
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: can shut up. I bought a big ass thirty pound
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: box of oysters from the restaurant depot, so I need
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: a whole bunch of uh Rockefellers Oyster Rockefellas, and a
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: whole bunch of you know, oysters is a super apple aphrodisiac.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: So you were on your knees all week and got it?
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Whatever TMJ out of order.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: I went to UH, I went to Atlanta. I drove
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: down to Atlanta on Saturday and it came right back
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: on Sunday. The Turn and Burn. Yeah, just hang out
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: a little bit. Oh, the skull sign, Yeah, just to go.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: I was off, so I was like, I'm just gonna
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: not sit around. I'm just gonna go somewhere. So I
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: drove down there, hung out with one of my friends.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: On your knees while you try to tell people, I'll
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: be on my knees on the weekend. That's why I
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: want to tell him what I'm doing.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: No, actually, I was not on my knees. It wasn't
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: that type of vibe.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, let's get this in. Uh girl, So Clarissa Shields, y'all.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I want to really like her because she is so innocent.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: She's so innocent. Why did I hear that she was
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: a virgin up until she started fucking with papoos?
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Is that true?
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Like a thirty year old virgin.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: No, that's not true, because I watched when I was
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: on my way to London. There she is a movie
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: about her. You know that. No, yeah, huh, I watched
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: it and I think she was getting hit in the movie.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Oh was it?
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Remember? Because I was drinking so much?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Huh was it good? The movie?
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: It was actually a good movie.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: I remember when she was on a breakfast club promoting it,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: but I hadn't watched it. But apparently okay, so she
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: had been soliciting a fight to Laila Ali. Now, Laila
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Ali has been retired for a long time now, but
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: she's the champ. So I guess Clarissa wants to fight
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: the champ. But do you think that would be a
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: fair fight.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: When did all of a sudden a fight old last
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: niggas become a thing like that's some news, get number
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: once for that back.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: In the day.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Now you want to fight a woman twenty years older
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: than you? It's crazy?
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it is crazy. Is she twenty years older?
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Because Clarissa is only thirty, I believe, and Leila Ali
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: is forty seven years old, so damn near twenty years Yeah.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: So uh, I guess Clarissa asked about fighting her a
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: while ago, and somebody asked Leyla about it, like on
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: an interview, and she was like, the money ride, I
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: might do it.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: No, she's a fifteen million.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so Clarissa allegedly went and got the fifteen million,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: and now Leila Ali is like, I'm not fighting you
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: know what, I'm saying like she was like Clarissa trains
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: every day. I'm sure right, Leilai is forty seven. I
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: have to hit the gym hard again like that and
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: like get ready for a fight. It would take her
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: a year, I'm sure. Yeah, the mom a wife like girl, girl, get.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Out of my face.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: It right, and already I.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Would have win in that ring and let Clorissa hit
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: me one time and hit the.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Mat and got fifty left period, Like shit, it don't
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: make you like no less the champ. Sometimes you win,
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: sometimes you lose.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Seven we are you already stamped and approved at this point?
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Like it's I listen. I started boxing over last week.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: I took a boxing class. I really like it. I'm
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: going back.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I should get your body together. Which you went to
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Title Fitness?
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: I know, I went to boxing. No, I went to
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Robinson Neil. It's a real boxing gym. So it was cool. Yeah,
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: they wrapped my hands up. I didn't even know they
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: was doing all Like I ain't know all of that
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: ship and tail in boxing.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta wrap your hands and then put it
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: in the gloves. I used to do Title boxing. That
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: is a good fucking workout, and my body was good
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: for I don't know, maybe three months.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: They stopped doing that ship or even started boxing. They
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: had me in there doing all kinds of callous the
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: nicks and ship like, yes, I tell you I was
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: poorn sweat porn. Yes, that's real, bitch, I love it.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: So I'm going back this week.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's real, like intense. Yeah, I've done kickboxing classes before.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: M hitch, no, Dad, Well, my leg heavy as hell, bitch.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: My fucking legs so heavy, I feel like bricks. One
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: thing I've never been able to do is a fucking
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: pull up. Like that's really like goals in life for
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: me to be able to pull my own body. Let
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: the zombie apocalypse hit, like, and I got to hang
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: off a cliff, bitch, I'm dead early, bitch, I've got
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: if I got to hold on for their life, I'm dying.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Maybe adrenaline might help me, but I don't know.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: I haven't done a pull up in a long time,
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: so I'm pretty sure I can't do one right now.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: But I was in ROTC so we had to do
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: pull ups. Yeah, but yeah, no probably not now. My
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: bottom heavy at hell.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: And I can never do the monkey bars like going
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: for the next one. To the next one.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: I can never do it.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: No, I always been chunky. I've never been able to
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: lift my own bodyweight. Bitch ever goals anyway, Clarissa relaxed.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Okay Ley Loly is first of all, too cute to
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: be playing with you that you don't give a Fuck's
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: scary lately? No, absolutely she has, but I give her
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: that now.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when you start talking.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, yeah, it's like all boxers have the
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: same talk though, from the men to the women. Like
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I guess not Leay Lollly. Maybe she ain't get hit
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: enough in her head. But like Clarissa, sounds like Tank
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: to me, like the way they articulate their words and stuff.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Tank the the boxer. They sound slow.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Man the next one. Buster Rhymes faces AsSalt lawsuit.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I't dismiss what I'm saying.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: I'm serious to go, I got it.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: They do sound a little slow, and I think it's
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: from getting hit in the head. Go ahead, God.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Rhymes fut lawsuit for a former assistant so rapper. Buster
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Rhymes is being sued by his ex assistant, who accuses
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: him of physical assault, verbal abuse, and wage violations. Busta
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: has dismissed the complaints as a smear campaign and is
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: reportedly playing in a countersuit.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Why had that so? I read this article A little
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: bit right and Bust rhymes whose real name is what
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: is it?
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Trevor? Trevor something?
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: He said, for a very brief, brief period, Dachelle assisted
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: me the guy who as suited him as Doschelle gambles.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: He said, for a very brief period, Dashell assisted me,
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: but it didn't work out. Apparently Doschell has decided to
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: respond uh to being let go by manufacturing claims against
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: me in an attempt to attack and damage my reputation. Girl,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: why the fuck I got Chelsea boots All advertising to
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: me on the internet now? Like if I take a
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: picture of my fucking screen, Like the fuck Internet man,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: get to my nerves.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I used to love bust around when he was what
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: was that? I feel like it was a Chris Brown
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: sound busterros was on? Was it look at me? Look
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: at me that?
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I loved him during that time. But more recently when
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: he's been like stroking a microphone like a dick with
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: his tongue out and then the spray painted hair and stuff.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: What did that guy say that?
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Lady? Man on that video I sent you what did
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: she call it? A butcher?
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: What queen?
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Fem butch queen? That might be busted rhymes.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what that means.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: Either, but it sounds about right.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: First of all, I could not translate that fucking video.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: It's a lot of like these people have a whole
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: language that I just don't know what it is. There's
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: something about getting chopped coming out of the bathroom, and
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I just don't know what that means. Is
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: that a good thing? Do I want to get chopped?
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Because it sounds like something I would.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Like, Oh yeah, I've seen a person calling back and
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: it's basically like you think, you think you look good,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: but then they're like, did you look bad? Type thing
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: like chop you like, chop your esteem. I guess men
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: do that to women too, Like imagine getting chopped as
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: soon as you I'm thinking like shot when when he
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: was saying that, like shot or I'm taking.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: You're getting bit over and chopped down? Yeah, I like
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: to get Now, let's purpose that.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, we used to say chops, kid, It's like
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: that that was sex, Like y'all was chopping y'all didn't
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: say that in Columbia.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: No, I wasn't.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Girls shut up? In high school, you used to talk
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: about sex. We was definitely chopping. It's cool, definitely chopping
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: and getting chopped. Okay, but yeah, Bust Rhymes said this
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: man worked for him for a short period of time.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: What do y'all think that means? No, Diddy?
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Shut up?
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: Girls?
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: So do you feel like every black man in entertainment
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: is getting sued like it's a writer of passage.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: It's not a rite of passage. But these niggas do
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: be doing shit to get suited about. That's the thing.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Don't give people the amo. It's not like these allegations
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: come out of nowhere. They have put people in positions
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: to fuck them up. Yeah, stop doing stuff, stay out,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: lass in the house, get a wife. As much people like.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: People always try to tie jay Z to bullshit, but
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: jay Z keeps his slate clean. I attribute that probably
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: to him having a wife's stability, a family. You got
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: a nigga like Diddy who just got a bunch of
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: baby mamas and he just he he's the king of
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: the castle and he does whatever it is that he
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: wants to do. It is no structure, you know, what
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. Everybody's bowing down to him. Get y'all, get
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: y'all a wife. I look at nigga sideways. Who's that old?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: When no wife? What are y'all doing?
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: What are y'all doing? Get your life together? And I mean,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: let's be honest. Bus and runs probably doesn't want a wife,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: or does he have a wife.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: I don't think so. I can't imagine he was up
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: there stroking that microphone like that with a wife.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: I can't imagine that would be so embarrassed. I'm sticking
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: with him.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: I'm sticking beside him.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: All right, y'all. So up next on the docket for
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: stupid internet news. Apparently fans. I don't call people fans
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: when they're being mean, Like, that's not a fan, they
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: really hate you. So a twelve year old girl was
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: struck by a sex toy thrown at a w NBA
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: game in Brooklyn. Suspect sought by NYPD. So it says uh.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: The NYPD Friday released a photo and a short video
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: of a man wearing a Beavis and butt Head T
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: shirt and an Ohio state cap at the New York
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: Liberty Dallas Wings game last week at Barkley Center in Brooklyn.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Police say that during Tuesday's game, an unidentified individual through
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: an object which struck a twelve year old female victim
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: in the right leg.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, where are y'all? Why that one dick's on
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: the court? Like, it's so stupid? People are dumb.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: It's this holestone. I guess the shirt is fitting.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I said. But as soon as you
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: said that, I'm like this sound right?
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Who pays for tickets to go to a game to
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: do something that's fucking stupid? Like how do y'all have
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: the free time or the money to be idiots?
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: How you really were and brought it with you all
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: the way to a game to throw it on the court.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Not brought a dick, Like how did he even get
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: in the building with that? You might have just had
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: it on, but it ain't like.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: It's gonna set an alarm off.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: You might have just worre right, pant it's my dick
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: in a box.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: And make an example out of you.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, there's two men were arrested in connection with the
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: incident in Georgia and Phoenix.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: Like god, y'all.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Travel the country to meet these niggas by these dicks,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: Like what what? How? Like everybody's trying to find a
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: reason to go viral.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: That's what it is.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Do something nice for someone or a lot of people.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but NYPD said this is very reckless
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: and unacceptable behavior from grown ass whom. Yeah, because niggas
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: is not doing that. Black people are not throwing like
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: who the fuck even taking a penis out the house.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Except for these studs. Yeah, that's about it.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: And they ain't talk about to throw they dick.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: They did. Ain't no games with them dicks.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: Girl, Oh I saw, I saw. What is this podcast?
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: It's a podcast? You do is mad?
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: No?
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: He said he can't compete with the stud because she
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: can switch her dick out and he has.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: No no, no, no no. So this guy, I mean,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: excuse me, this butch. She was basically saying, like a
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: real uh, a real butch is a virgin, Like you
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: can't have six kids and all of a sudden you
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: are study. Like if you a study, you gotta be
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: a virgin. That was her Like she was like, I'm
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: setting the red the rules now, and she's like a
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: grown ass man.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: I was scared. I don't know, you don't like dick,
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: if you don't at least try it once.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Some people know they don't want to have sex with
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: a man from birth.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Probably damn that's crazy. Yeah, so she's saying, if you
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: don't be so she was doing, if you.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Know you know, I mean, that's how they be trying
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: to turn women out. Don't knocking and tell your try
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I don't have so many dykes. Tell me that, like, bitch,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I'm cool.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: I know, I know it's not my thing.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Girl, By bitch, I'm cool, like I I know how
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: a woman head might feel. That's all you about to
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: do and throw some plastic on me. I'm cool with that.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: I'm good on that. Thank you the fuck.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Listen to this last one poison lace beef Wellington. It's
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: a true crime dinner. So in Victoria, Australia, Aaron Patterson
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: was found guilty of poisoning relatives who ate her beef
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Wellington packed with lethal mushrooms. The deaths of three family
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: members and the survival of another, pointing to a chilling
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: premeditated murder through cooking. Saga. Everything y'all going up out
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: of here, and I don't need no gun. As soon
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: as I saw it, said beef Wellington. I knew these
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: was white folks. If it would have said some ribs,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: I would have been like, Oh, these niggas is wildace.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Beef Wellington? And what does that all consist of? Like vegetables?
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: And it's probably like some other seasoned beef wrapped in
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: something else? What is that when you wrap the meat
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: like it's like seven different meats like a log. Yeah.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Also beef Wellington's when you wrap it with like the
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: it's like dough on the outside. No, are you rapping
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: this with another meat? No, it's like a crusted beef
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: in the middle of no seasoning.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine that. Yeah, they put.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: No season Yeah, it's wrapped in a pastry.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and she put she put some daily mushrooms in
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: that shit. She said, y'all ain't gonna talk shit to
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: me no more.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I'm killing had a policy on everybody, you know, white folks.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: White folks will take out their whole family about some money. Yep, Okay, they.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: They always I just always saw them as awful, and
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: now they're just painting them as victims now.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I mean they tried to you know, they tried to
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: say they were victims back then, but the way in
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: which they went on living after both of their parents died,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: got murdered. It's just very suspect. But I don't doubt
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: that they weren't abused, Like they probably got tired of
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: that shit and now and just relieved and I'm gonna
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: just live now going Like one of the brothers, he
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: was like, I don't even he had a boyfriend. He
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: was like, I don't even really think I'm gay, but
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: my daddy was abusing me. So I'm just confused.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Damn it said all the way around.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I thought they were trying to get them out.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I know the Kardashians was on
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: the job, so they might be out already.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: Them dudes look like some demons.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: Those two, they don't.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: They don't look good.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: I remember them from my childhood. I remember that name
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: like there was big news when they their parents and Kelly. Yep,
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: all right, girl. We got my dear friend, Philip miller On.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: He is the CEO and owner of Everybody Needs a Feel.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: And we're talking all things gay, all things gay and black.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, we have a lot of questions and I
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: needed answers, and there's nobody better to talk to. Them Phil,
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: So y'all stay tuned. Well, we'll be right back.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: As like his signature jeans every.
• 19:13
  Speaker 5: Time you seum, he's gonna have on them, dark blue
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: jeans and black.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: In this I'm gonna get it.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: First of all, it don't look crazy sitting there.
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: It doesn't look crazy, well when you keep pulling it
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: up like.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Keep rolling.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: Okay, what is wrong?
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: But I saw this experiment online one time where they
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: did like a germ test on the crotch area of
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: a pair of men's jeans, and it was so much bacteria.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: In that area.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Because for whatever, people take their jeans off and hang them.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: Up, which is crazy to me. Don't watch diabolical like
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: who raised you people?
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: I guess they're gonna wear them five times and put
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: them in a cleaner.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. No, that you think these men are going to
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: the cleaners, he's crazy. Okay. You think these men know
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: where are cleaners? Is? No, they don't know where? Okay, yes,
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: because that's your men.
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying that there's a bar These
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: niggas not going to cleaners. They're going to the washing
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: machine in the house. Yeah, and they're probably still using
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: powders and not using just shaking out warrior five times.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: But you you like, what are you wacky to use powder?
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: I still will. I will use the powder if.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: He's standing in your clothes. Sometimes use that bullshit. And
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: I do use like the colorless stuff like the time
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: freeing clear.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, you do use that.
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: All right, let's start the episode talking about something.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Talk about washing clothes.
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: We gotta Philip on to talk about detergent, right.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Tied in the window.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that was the swingerst thing in England. You
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: will put the tide in the window. I let people
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: know the same. Yeah, kind of the same.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: Make sure my t is not everybody nice to meet
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: your neighbor.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: How's it going on over here?
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: So go ahead, started out, Oh.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I don't have an intro.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: This is your home boy, well ship.
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: I don't do this part, all right?
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: Hold on.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Miller, right, yeah, Philip Miller. I don't want to just
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: be like, hey, he gave y'all like, so hold on,
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: I need a intro, all right, give me like your job.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: Saw.
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: I'm Philip Miller, and I have a consulting company called
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: Everybody Needs a Feel. I help with fundraising and help
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: with nonprofits. My slogan is I help small nonprofits become
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: big nonprofits.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Nice.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so listen, he did it. I ain't even got
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: to get the intro.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: He needs a feel.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Everybody needs a feel, and it's very successful. Like I
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: saw you on the news or like you was on
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: something right, Yeah, it was on the news. I was like,
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: that's my friend.
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah I'm black, and shout out to my friends. They
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: helped me come with the name, So thank you for
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: that one.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Raising is a real skill. Like being able to get
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: money out of people when they don't want to give
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: you money is a whole skill. My homegirl texting in
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: the group chat right now, trying to get us to
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: give fifty dollars for the rifle for a golf cart.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: Bitch, right right.
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: You got to connect people with what their what their
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: heart is really desiring to do, you.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Know, right, I can't garage, right, I would sell it though,
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: you could win it and sell it possibly.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: What about a winning I just out of fifty dollars.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's how raffles work.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: I did not respond in the group.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: But listen, I said, fill up our FaceTime. Fill up
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: on a random afternoon and he'll be on a golf course.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, I'm trying to get this money. I'm
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: gonna have to call you back. I'm like, on a
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: golf course.
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: I love that. Sometimes you got to go where the
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: people are and just have a good conversation. It's really
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: about connecting people to what mission they want to support
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: and how they want to show up in their community.
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: You know, your friends are just trying to force you
• 23:09
  Speaker 5: into something else, like that's not really what you want
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: to do. Like, you got to really connect to what
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: people's heart, like if you support kids, are you support
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: you know, homelessness or like low income families, like whatever
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: you want to get connected to. That's for My job
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: is to find the people with the money to connect
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: them to the cause.
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: Right, Well, we got a cause, call we talk back.
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: Can you think that's okay? That's a for profit nonprofit.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Non profits? I'm about have made me a five?
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: Want to C three?
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: I have I want to do?
• 23:36
  Speaker 5: Let me.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: I can't say it because I don't want to buy
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: seal my idea. But you know, like I'm not a
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: pro life person or pro choice, I'm just anti struggle, right,
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: So whatever makes sense for you at the time, big
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: please Okay, So I would like to have like a facility,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: a home or something, because in Charleston it used to
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: be a place like this where girls young girls that
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: they got pregnant. You know, you're like your child. You
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: could go still go to school. Like a facility, like
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: a house, like a home housing. I would like to
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: do something like that.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's beautiful.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: Mommy's house, Mummy's house, that's what you want to call it.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: That's cute. Like what you gonna have, Like I got
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: some little ghost and goo to at least before before
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: the next four weeks. All right, So we invited Phil
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: on art.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Because I'm a homosexual. Yes that's yes.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: I always gotta say it like that. But that is
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: why he's a game y.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: It's literally texted again.
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: I mean, okay, who gave right.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Back?
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Gay?
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: So all right, we wanted him on for Pride month,
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: but Phil is very, very booked and busy. He'd be
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: all over the country, so it was hard to get
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: him on during Pride. So I'm glad you made time
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: for us that we talked back today, and we do
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: want to talk about being black and gay, and it's sensitive.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: It's probably more sensitive for you obviously, but it's sensitive
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: for me because I'm always afraid of saying something wrong
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: or asking like how white people want to know about
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: black people, and they'd be like scared to ask the
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: question because they don't want to say the wrong thing.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: So that's how I feel. Like even when I text
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: her as like the gays are locked in, she was like,
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: don't say it like that.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: I just literally sent back the Geese.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Well, I didn't mean it in an offensive way, you know,
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I just meant like, but when I think about, yeah,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: I think it like I think about when I speak
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: to it, I think about, like how if a white
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: person was talking about the blacks are locked in?
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: Right, And it's like, like what I mean. I think
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: it's out to have a safe space in general where
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: you can talk openly to your friends about things and
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: not have to worry about the politics of it, you know,
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: like sometimes we're so worried about the policy you don't
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: ask the hard question and then really get an understanding.
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: So it's like, I'd rather you ask it in the
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: wrong way to a friend than go out and say
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: the wrong thing to like a population, especially with you
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: doing a platform and all that you guys do, I'd
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: rather be like a source of information versus like.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: A few people try to come for us. It's like
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: even we don't even be saying nothing crazy for real,
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: It's like you can't say shit like and I'm gonna
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: say what the fuck I want, right, and I never disrespect.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: And never trying to offend, you know, there's never to go.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: We all, we is a loving space here, but sometimes
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: we do a fend. I remember one time, this is
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: all right, y'all, I'm just gonna I'm not gonna say
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: the actual word because al right, back in the nineties,
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: in the early two thousands or nineties especially, the F
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: word was not as like we would say it like
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: as a joke.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: To each other, to a heterosexual person.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, to a head of sexual person. So I didn't Yeah,
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: So I didn't know that it was an offensive word,
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: you know. So I was using it toward gay men,
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: but I didn't know that it was a slur.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: So I was in Atlanta.
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: And they're gonna get you together.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: So I was like, oh, it's a lot of f's
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: out here, right, because it was a lot, and it
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: was at the gas station. It was nothing, but but
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: I said that. But I didn't think it was I
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: didn't like very loud, very loud, and I didn't I
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: didn't mean it. Yeah, but they let me know very
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: quickly that I was out of line.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: But they can't use it though.
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: It's like the N word, right, I mean it still
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: I think like it's not like widely used even inside
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: of our community.
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: I don't hear a lot of people use it on
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: the day to day basis.
• 27:43
  Speaker 5: I mean you're hear it on like certain shows and
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: different things, but like on the day to day, like
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: going through life, I don't really.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: Hear people use it. Like like I hear people said
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: the N word. You don't hear people said the F
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: work like that. Interesting.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: I didn't know that. I thought they didn't.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, So how about punk?
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah I used punk on a daily basis. Yeah, yeah,
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: I'm likely to call somebody apart. I'm like, oh.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: Wow, well they called me all right, so this they
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: was like calling They was like fish, they call me fish?
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: What did that mean?
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: Know? We called girls fishing, so that it's generally a term,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: like it's just like a fish is a woman.
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: So so they just go hand in hand. I don't
• 28:23
  Speaker 5: know the whole backstory where it came from But.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: Is that about our vaginas?
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: I would assume somaid, But I don't know.
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: I just have heard it my whole like gay life,
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: that called the girl's fish.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the fish the trade, you know, but oh.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: He given fish like that's aiment.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's given woman.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, you know what they said. It was
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: what they said in front of the fish. I wouldn't
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't offended by fish because I didn't know what
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: to me. I enjoy fish fried, you know how. But
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: it's like, we gonna beat your ass fish. That's what
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: they said, had.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: They beat your glass? Yeah?
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: Where were you at Atlanta? And the quick trip?
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: At a quick trip? Y'all got to get it right.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: It's the quick trip in Atlanta.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: But I learned very quickly that that was a slur,
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: you know, and then I got myself together and never
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: said it again.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I'm telling another woman, girl, it's giving fish to get
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: your gud damn it sures card out right and go
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: to the doctor.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Your bandmance is all okay, yeah, okay. So that's a
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: good thing if they like you, okay fish, But it's
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: a bad thing if they as is like your girl.
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, all right, but if there's any time anything
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: beat your ass, anything you say after that is bad.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: So said, like I'm gonna beat your glass, beautiful queen.
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: Still get it's still the quick Trip, right.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: I knew it was time to go.
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: Okay, this is why I drive electric, so I don't
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: have to go to the Quick Trip. But anymore, hey, god.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: No more for me, not even for the ice.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: So if your sister.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Could meet me at the Quick Trip? Oh yeah, so
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: you can get your ice to return it? All right? So, oh,
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: I said, I apologize for that word.
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: We can see that because episode.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: I don't mean it like that.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: Guys, I don't want no problems.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: You had a very particular question for Philip, and I
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: would like to start there.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: Okay. So I had one of my Instagram friends, Guy,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: I saw him comment on this. It was like a
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: like a cookout or like a concert or something.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: It was all.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: In that finance. Dude, he played in the Wizard of
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: Oars and he's he's a scarecrow.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: Everybody was funny.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: What's his name?
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's fun who.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about, y'all. He's a gay. He clearly he's gay.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: He could sing, and he played in the Wizard.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: He can see every.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: I got it.
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: I'm already asked your question. I'm gonna find his name.
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, it was a video with a bunch of
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: beautiful black men that they were clearly all gay because
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: there's no women in the video when he was a
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: guy singing on the mic and whatever singing on the
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: mic anyway, so I saw, you know, there was a
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: whole plethora of feels and comments under the post and
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: a common theme. And I know we kind of talked
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: about this before we started recording. Y'all said, y'all had
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: never seen this, but this is actually I saw a
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: person that I know personally comment and say, you know,
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: and black women stay hanging with them niggas, you know,
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: like and then I've also seen like black women single mothers, right,
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: we are a response. I'm not a single mom and
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: I won't be a single mom, but single mothers are
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: are are single handedly responsible for gay black men existing.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: And also, you know, just anything bad in our community
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: is anything anybody perceives bad in our community. And not
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: to say that being gay is bad, That's not what
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, but obviously the people who feel.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: This way, have that perception exactly.
• 32:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think it's just such a it's such a
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: misspoken perception because black women have historically held up black
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: man through so many different things, you know, Like yeah,
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: as a culture held up, the culture held of the
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: people help lead so many initiatives.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: It's just.
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: You can't focus on the ignorance of other people, right, Like,
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: if that's how you feel, feel that quietly in your
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: corner because like no one cares, and you're probably like
• 32:48
  Speaker 5: not doing too much in your space as is.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: But for the rest of us living in life, those
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: of us living in the real world, Like, I.
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: Come from a powerful black Black woman, and I come
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: from a household that is a mother and father together.
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: My parents have been married since eighteen years old. Okay,
• 33:06
  Speaker 5: So to think that, oh, single moms are black women
• 33:11
  Speaker 5: make gay kids. My brother is not gay at all,
• 33:13
  Speaker 5: And like we grew up in the same house, in
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: the same love and the same light, grew up in
• 33:17
  Speaker 5: the church. The whole thing had nothing to do with
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: my sexuality. And many of my friends have married parents
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: that are black, strong families and the mom doesn't make
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: the person gay. Like that's just how life works out.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: I know some people that have single moms and they
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: are straight, and know people that have single moms and
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: they are gay. How is that a variable? Like what
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: statistic did you base that off of?
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: And nobody ever, I don't know.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: I don't based off right now I'm saying from the
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: conversation chat. Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: I just don't know. And then you know, nobody ever
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: says anything about the absent parent, right right, the superstar. Yeah,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: the absent parent doesn't get blame for anything. There's no
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: accountability when it comes and it's still the man, right,
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: The man doesn't have to take accountability for anything because,
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: first of all, everybody comes out the bottom of a
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: man's nuts. First. Okay, so we've got a.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: Problem with a gay man.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: He came out of your ball. Well wait, but about it?
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: But all right, so wait, because I thought we were
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: in our grandmother's before we were ever in our mother's.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: Well, al right, you're talking about so that's a midochondrial
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: DN is transferred through all of us, through through the female,
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: through the woman. Right. But just like a man can't
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: come in the sock and create a baby, right, so
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: they have to put the baby in us to cultivate it,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: and then some of us, some of what we are,
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: who we are, does imprint on the child too. You
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: see what I'm saying. But that is like I feel
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: like maybe we should just leave the kids with the man.
• 34:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I just think, like God, we should we should
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: focus less on that and focus more on like kids.
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: Why is it that somebody has to be blamed for
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: somebody's to say to be exactly to be gay, or
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: somebody's lifestyle that listened to be gay, like just because
• 35:06
  Speaker 5: of who that whoever's in those comments saying those things
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: like well, what about you and what decisions? This is
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: your mom's fault that you made a poor decision at
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: some point if you're looking at it from that negative mindset,
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: like if you've been to jail's out also your mom's fault.
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: Like how does that? How does that all make sense?
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: I just don't get the line that because my mother
• 35:23
  Speaker 5: did this, now this happens. Like, how about we go
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: to therapy and you do your work on yourself. I
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: understand you because you're focused so much on like this
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: negative light on the black gay man, but like, what
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: about working on yourself? Then you would have less time
• 35:37
  Speaker 5: to worry about what the hell I got going on
• 35:39
  Speaker 5: over here? All right, we prefer that you go to therapy,
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: work on yourself.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: Mission number one.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: Ain't none of that. But can I be I can
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: I be completely honest?
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: So when I saw that video and I saw all
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: those fine ass black men and I knew none of
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: them wanted to fuck me, I was sad, Like there's
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: a part of me.
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: That did get sad, like.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: That one of them might have been my husband. Though
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: now none of.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: Them could be your husband, right, your husband is still
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: out there, like there's still more men than those men
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: in the video.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but can you understand like where I'd be, like
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: feel like a way like damn.
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: Why can't we have fire men as well? Like I
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: can't have a husband too.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, yes, I get it, but you get what
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like not jealous in that way, Like I
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: just feel like two men, Like the money is crazy
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: in the house, like two successful records people.
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: Households is definitely where it's at.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like working in tech, two men working in tech.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, say you're doing all right? Yeah, the household is good.
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: I had a thousand okay, no kids, maybe just one,
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: you know, Yeah, livings jealous. I don't know, right, I mean,
• 36:53
  Speaker 5: but like, statistically there's there's a small portion of like
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: gay men are gay people in the world.
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: We look at like the great ratio versus the gay ratio.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: So it's like, yeah, we did.
• 37:03
  Speaker 5: We're all together in one space often because that we
• 37:05
  Speaker 5: have to find a space that can reflect us.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: Otherwise we spend all day in like a heteronormative world.
• 37:11
  Speaker 6: So like you think it's still like that even today, Yeah,
• 37:15
  Speaker 6: I went to work this week, but it was just me, okay, yeah,
• 37:25
  Speaker 6: you know, like I think that when you look when
• 37:27
  Speaker 6: you really look at the bigger numbers, like I'm a
• 37:29
  Speaker 6: statistics that a person that's kind of like from my career.
• 37:31
  Speaker 5: So when you look at raw numbers, like there's just
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: there's millions more heterosexual people than are gay people. So
• 37:39
  Speaker 5: when you see us, we find each other. That's how
• 37:41
  Speaker 5: we have pride, that's how we go out and do
• 37:43
  Speaker 5: these different things.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: People there though, yeah.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Because we all go it's like a concentrated.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's concentrated.
• 37:51
  Speaker 5: So you see it as like, oh, there's all these people,
• 37:53
  Speaker 5: but it's like it's a it's it's a call to
• 37:55
  Speaker 5: action because we have to stick together. Because it's a
• 37:58
  Speaker 5: smaller amount of us, so we are still a very
• 38:00
  Speaker 5: much a minority.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: The stats on that, because I feel like everybody is
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: like queer, not everybody, But.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: What's what does that even mean? Because what's gay like?
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: It's a lot of letters. I don't know all of them.
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: So it is.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: So what is the difference? What is the difference between
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: gay and queer?
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: Just the way that people prefer to identify.
• 38:22
  Speaker 5: So some people may not want to identify as gay
• 38:25
  Speaker 5: as being a person who is who is just there.
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: They may be queer and have some more fluidity. So
• 38:29
  Speaker 5: it just allows you a little bit more flexibility in
• 38:32
  Speaker 5: how you decide that you want to identify. I identify
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: as a gay black man. I used to identify as
• 38:36
  Speaker 5: a by black man. Shout out to my ex girlfriend,
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: Nice to see you. But but you know, over time,
• 38:43
  Speaker 5: you know, you can choose your representation of yourself, you know.
• 38:46
  Speaker 5: So that's really what all the letters are for, is
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: that you're finding which space you feel most comfortable, and
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: queer just usually fits more for like an umbrella.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: So then what does by me? So what's the difference
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: between by?
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: So all right, hold on, now, it's just.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: What they want to go by. So some people just
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: like the word queer. It sounds fun, I guess.
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: So it's just just wordplay.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: It's selection.
• 39:08
  Speaker 5: Like if you're given in life, you're giving options, right,
• 39:11
  Speaker 5: Like why do we have to fit ourselves into some
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: norm to make other people uncomfortable? Just because you don't
• 39:16
  Speaker 5: understand it doesn't mean that you don't have to just
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: allow them to let them live in their lives. Like
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: I don't identify as queer, but if you tell me
• 39:21
  Speaker 5: that you're queer, okay, great, Like now I respect you.
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: Is that if you tell me that you're a woman,
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna respect you. Is that right?
• 39:27
  Speaker 5: So it's it's just simply have a general respect for people.
• 39:31
  Speaker 5: However they want to identify, show up in the world.
• 39:33
  Speaker 5: That's their business, okay, Like you know, okay, all right.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: So I'm just I'm I guess I'm old. I'm an
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: older millennial. So like I just try to like wrap
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: my mind around what exactly because I know what gay is,
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: I know what bias, I know what a man is,
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: I know what a woman is. But when I hear queer,
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: it sounds like it don't have like a real identity
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: for me. So I'm trying to like understand it so
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: I can know what it is, but whenever I ask,
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: it's still it's still like so vague.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's designed to be more vague in general.
• 40:14
  Speaker 5: I think that's the premise of queers, that it allows
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: a little bit more freedom and flexibility in that space.
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: Because if I'm like, let's say that I'm I started
• 40:22
  Speaker 5: out as a straight man, and now I've decided I'm
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: going to experiment with guys and identify as a gay man,
• 40:27
  Speaker 5: like as in dating women, It's hard to go back
• 40:31
  Speaker 5: from that once you say, like on a platform like
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: oh I'm a gay man, it's a rap for you.
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: You're like, you know, it's like you are not getting that.
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: I don't. It's never happening, you know. So it's like
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: it gives you a little bit more flexibility to like
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: to explore it, is what I would feeling.
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: So do you feel like women can go back and
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: forth but men are not allowed to?
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, I think that's a conversation that people
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: have had so many times, Like women and we always
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: talk about women in college and how they were able
• 40:56
  Speaker 5: to experiment and they go back and they're married and
• 40:58
  Speaker 5: have three kids, happily ever after.
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: Right as a man, it's it's different, you know.
• 41:04
  Speaker 5: And if you think about your own life and scenario,
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: just like, are you going to date the man who
• 41:08
  Speaker 5: tells you that, hey, I had a phase in college
• 41:10
  Speaker 5: and I experimented.
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: Are you open to that? Are you not open to that? Like?
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: What would y'all perspective be?
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't be open to that, right would?
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be open to that because I think there
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: is a certain mindset, right that may not align with mine.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: I'm not that fucking flexible. Okay, So I just feel like, but.
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: He's not that anymore. He just he just tried it, right,
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: you come back, you come back.
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. That's why I don't want to
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: compete with men and women, and it will always like
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: we go out and I'm looking at a fine nigga,
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: I'm looking at my nigga to see if.
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: He looking at that nigga too.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: I ain't got tied. That's too much stress.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: And unless I guess, unless you're a queer woman, right,
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: Because that's the thing is is that black man, you
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: can get whatever type of woman you want, right, You
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: could be honest with yourself first, that's what where it starts,
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: and then you can find whatever type woman that's okay
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: with however you are presenting right. I had a conversation
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: with one of my friend's friends.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: He does.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: I don't think he even considers himself gay. He is
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: attracted to women because he actually asked me if I
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: wanted to have a baby with him, And I'm like,
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: what he actually asked before?
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: Y'all?
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: So I don't know, Like I still want when you
• 42:21
  Speaker 5: got it okay, and I still want to love it, okay,
• 42:25
  Speaker 5: pack it.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: Up you later. Similar your friend was not he was
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: asking you for a baby.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: And he's a big guy too.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: He does here a nice looking man though, and he's
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: not like he always says like I'm so glad I'm
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: not like gay gay, like like I'm so glad I'm
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: not a punk, you know, because it's just different. It's
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: levels to this ship level. So he's more so attracted
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: to masculinity. I don't know what he sees in me.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: Maybe yes, I don't know. So he says he's attracted
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: to masculinity, not really necessarily man or woman, like he
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: and a man or a woman. But we had a
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: hard down conversation the first day I met him about
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: why it's not. He was saying, it's not important for
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: a woman to know if a man has slept with
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: another man before, and I'm like, yes, the fuck it is.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: First of all, if I ask you anything, you should
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: be honest with me.
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: If you feel like you gotta lie about that, there's
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: a problem.
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but society makes a culture.
• 43:40
  Speaker 5: It's where people feel that they have to lie about
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: those things because you're not going to find acceptance in
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: most people.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: So I think that's.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: But I won't sleep.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's well, yeah, that's the problem because he
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: wants you to sleep. Yeah.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: So now we're back to just men being men and
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: just not having integrity and lying to get the draw. Like,
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: just tell the truth and then you'll find somebody who's
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: okay with that truth.
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: Right. I think that's accurate.
• 44:06
  Speaker 5: I just think people should be able to have a
• 44:09
  Speaker 5: little more flexibility and understanding of people, like understand that
• 44:11
  Speaker 5: people have had a lived experience. But then maybe that
• 44:14
  Speaker 5: has evolved over time. And now this is where I am,
• 44:17
  Speaker 5: and you know, meet him there if you can. But
• 44:21
  Speaker 5: you know, I think, in general, I think that people
• 44:23
  Speaker 5: have so many cutofs for people as to why not
• 44:25
  Speaker 5: to deal with them. It's like, that's why everybody's single,
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: and that's why won al's get married anymore. That's why
• 44:30
  Speaker 5: all this is going on, because everything is a reason
• 44:33
  Speaker 5: to get rid of that man. Anything a straight man does,
• 44:36
  Speaker 5: he's gay. I swear, because they said signed nigga.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: That man with a hot dog, damn n.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: He can't even have a hot This man can't go
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: to Costco.
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: Nigga smoke and hohokahs hookah. Like anything a man does
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: is automatically gay. That is so weird men doing that.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: Though I don't say everything the man does is gay.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: I see men doing that.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's mostly men that, like, you know,
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: creating my content must be different than y'all because it's women,
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: women doing saying like, oh that's the gay. Oh yeah,
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: I guess you're right. There is some of that.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: It might be a mixed right, it might be, yeah,
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: but it's not. I just I just hate when people
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: just be trying to act like women are the only
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: ones doing some shit.
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: No, it's definitely not only women. It's a societal it's
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: a deeper issue.
• 45:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And honestly, people just are added to that list
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: as a joke.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: If a woman asks a man, hey, have you been
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: with a man before? Do you think that's something that
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: she needs to know or do you feel like it's
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: none of her business and he doesn't really have to No.
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: I think if someone is asking you anything in transparency,
• 45:47
  Speaker 5: you should be transparent. Like when I came out, I
• 45:49
  Speaker 5: came out as by and then when I dated girls
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: at that time, I would like, if they asked me
• 45:54
  Speaker 5: any kind of question like that, I would own up
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: to it.
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: I would say, yeah, I've actually.
• 45:59
  Speaker 5: Like you know, I've done They would have god done
• 46:00
  Speaker 5: it there or two, and most of the time that
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: would be the end of the it's like dang vibe.
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: So it's nice to be cheap. Yeah, it would wrap
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: it up, you know.
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: But from time to time you'd come on Connor girl,
• 46:10
  Speaker 5: who will be like, okay, tell me more and have
• 46:12
  Speaker 5: more conversation. And then that was a better situation, a
• 46:15
  Speaker 5: better situation for me. But you know, I lives in
• 46:17
  Speaker 5: Atlanta for a while, and then I feel like girls
• 46:19
  Speaker 5: would approach and even know like I feel like I
• 46:21
  Speaker 5: present as more of a gay man now and they would.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: Approach it like, oh, that's called day by guys.
• 46:26
  Speaker 5: They would kind of come more forward with the like, oh,
• 46:29
  Speaker 5: day by guys, I'm trying to I'm trying to holler,
• 46:30
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, okay, well all right, let's go to dinner.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: I've seen a lot of women, I've seen black women
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: say that they prefer by sexual women, And I don't
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: know if it's like an emotional thing, like you know,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: gay men are probably tapped into their femininity more more
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: emotional sensitive, and maybe that maybe those women want a
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: little bit more femininity but still want a man.
• 46:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, a little more understanding too, like a person who
• 46:56
  Speaker 5: understands more about where you've been, where your where your
• 46:58
  Speaker 5: storyline is kind of they've had experience on both sides,
• 47:01
  Speaker 5: so can tap in a little a little bit different,
• 47:03
  Speaker 5: but you know, to each own.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: I guess, would you date a man who's bisexual? Yeah,
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: you wouldn't make a difference.
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: You Nope, wouldn't make a difference to me at all.
• 47:12
  Speaker 5: I just feel like for me, I'm already on the
• 47:16
  Speaker 5: further side, Like it's harder for them to be able
• 47:18
  Speaker 5: to voice the outcome.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: So it's like, yeah, so is there any like boundaries
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: like like that, what are your boundaries when it comes
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: to dating or is it just about the individual for you?
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: Well, I would say I'm more I don't know.
• 47:36
  Speaker 5: I've never been approached by anybody that was trans to
• 47:40
  Speaker 5: know that if that would be something I would even consider.
• 47:42
  Speaker 5: I think like the my usual type has been more
• 47:46
  Speaker 5: of like a like an open man, like I don't
• 47:49
  Speaker 5: like to date like the d L discreet, Like that's
• 47:52
  Speaker 5: not really what I'm looking for.
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: I like a man who knows that he likes men,
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: and I'm okay with that.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: Openly likes men. Have you have you ever dealt with
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: a man who was like because I mean, you don't
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: want to like, have you? Because you don't want to
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: force somebody to like out them?
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: You know? Yeah, yeah, you don't want to force anybody
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: out of.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: Their class weaponized being engaged sometimes like some gay guys
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: might weaponize it.
• 48:19
  Speaker 5: Somebody when people do that, Like people gave you the
• 48:22
  Speaker 5: space to come through, to come find your voice at
• 48:24
  Speaker 5: some point, like let other people have the space to
• 48:26
  Speaker 5: do that. And if you're not, if they can't do
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: that with you, then don't deal with them, Like you're
• 48:30
  Speaker 5: making a choice to deal with them now you.
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: Want to out them. It's like that's that's childish, like
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: grow up.
• 48:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so, I mean, but I've never been in a
• 48:40
  Speaker 5: space where I felt like I had to out a
• 48:42
  Speaker 5: man or I was going to deal with a man
• 48:44
  Speaker 5: and then he I my younger age, you know what
• 48:47
  Speaker 5: I'm saying, Like.
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: I've been with some DL guys, Like I'm not avoiding that.
• 48:50
  Speaker 5: It's definitely a thing of attraction, like oh, he's super masculine,
• 48:54
  Speaker 5: like you know, he's a man nobody would ever know,
• 48:56
  Speaker 5: Like it's a certain attraction that comes to that, like
• 48:59
  Speaker 5: the hyper masculinity.
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: But I'm not pushing that man out of closet. That's
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: that man's business.
• 49:03
  Speaker 4: And that's dangerous to do that to someone honestly, right.
• 49:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely definitely dangerous. I just try not to mess
• 49:09
  Speaker 5: with it. Like I've always had a standard, like I'm
• 49:10
  Speaker 5: not messing with married people. If you' married to a
• 49:13
  Speaker 5: man or a woman, like that's just the line I'm
• 49:15
  Speaker 5: never willing to to cross. Like I'm not sleeping with
• 49:20
  Speaker 5: anybody's haysband ever in life.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: What about their wife.
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: Or their wife? You know, I've been so long since
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: I've been with a girl, I was like I forgot
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: I gotta put them in a mixed.
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: All right, hello, I got another question. Well okay, okay,
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: fan man face, we can take all of this out.
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: That's a little break, Okay.
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: You know I'm hot. Yeah, I don't think I say
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: anything grazy. Yeah, but you'll send it to me before yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: So in the workspace, do you feel like you have
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: to like tone down your like gayness.
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to identity, I guess.
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 50:10
  Speaker 5: No, I can honestly say, like, for the spaces that
• 50:13
  Speaker 5: I've worked in, I've been able to be one hundred
• 50:15
  Speaker 5: percent authentically myself even when I did time I was
• 50:18
  Speaker 5: in the military as well, when you did time, when
• 50:23
  Speaker 5: I did time in the military. Yeah, when I did
• 50:26
  Speaker 5: six years in the Air Force, I really wasn't a
• 50:29
  Speaker 5: place where where I was very supported, you know, and
• 50:31
  Speaker 5: I was able to like be awarded for my work
• 50:34
  Speaker 5: and recognize and I was openly and outwardly.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: Gay cause the military was like a kind of like
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: don't ass, don't tail for a long time.
• 50:43
  Speaker 5: I came in like right after the don ass don't
• 50:45
  Speaker 5: tell things. Yes, because we should be able to like
• 50:50
  Speaker 5: you should be able to be yourself. It's like, if
• 50:51
  Speaker 5: I'm willing to serve my country. Why does my sexuality
• 50:54
  Speaker 5: have to.
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: Do with that?
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: But here's the thing. You can be gay, but you
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: can't have eyelashes. That's crazy, right, you can't. Like they
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: just have passed a new law that you can't have
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: no eyelash. Yeah, you wouldn't be able to get in there,
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: of course.
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: Why yeah, figure, that's.
• 51:14
  Speaker 5: A lot of it is more or less about like
• 51:16
  Speaker 5: the aesthetic and more about like the gear. You know,
• 51:18
  Speaker 5: like if you're if you deploy or something and you
• 51:21
  Speaker 5: have these these things on, it's not it's not okay.
• 51:23
  Speaker 5: Even like when we deploy, I can't have this. I
• 51:25
  Speaker 5: can have my beard, it has to all be shaved
• 51:27
  Speaker 5: off because your gas.
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: Be scraping.
• 51:33
  Speaker 5: It's gonna work, okay, It's like safety, it's safety, you know.
• 51:37
  Speaker 5: But also like the military for historically has had a
• 51:41
  Speaker 5: long lineage of like these are standing how you're going
• 51:44
  Speaker 5: to appear.
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of appearance guidelines.
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: So it's like, you know, so it's not the same thing. Basically,
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: it's not in my.
• 51:49
  Speaker 5: Book, But I'm sure other people that are in that
• 51:52
  Speaker 5: space of living that experience today may feel differently.
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: But for me, that's how I felt.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: Have you ever felt like you had to choose between
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: being black and gay.
• 52:01
  Speaker 5: No, I'm I'm super black, Like I'm black first, like
• 52:06
  Speaker 5: in my mind, like I was born black.
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: I came before I ever knew what gay was. I
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: was black.
• 52:10
  Speaker 5: So like I'm a black man and nobody can flex
• 52:14
  Speaker 5: me on that ever, but I just also am a
• 52:16
  Speaker 5: gay man. Like it's just these are It's a full sentence,
• 52:19
  Speaker 5: Like why do I have to pick a side for what?
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: For who? For society? Y'all can't even figure out y'all
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: bill schedule? Okay? Correct?
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: Why is corn showing so high? I'm on the phone yesterday.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: It's like, well, you could do auto pay and it
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: takes no bitch, I'm not that responsible.
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: Oh I let them auto pay everything because I'm not
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: I'm responsible, not responsible enough to remember. Yeah, so I
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: just let them take their money.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: Until no, I got it, so two to three days
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: after the actual dudate to pay you.
• 52:54
  Speaker 5: If it was not auto pay, I would be fun
• 52:59
  Speaker 5: mortgage for Okay, I forgot to right, That's how I am.
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: I don't forget to pat it.
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: I forget everything, forget.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: No, I'm no morel the one like why the funk?
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: I'm so bro, everybody took it.
• 53:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's yeah.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: I gotta eat these porky bees rice, right, because that's
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: how I got that left.
• 53:24
  Speaker 5: But everybody got their money. We don't have to pick
• 53:29
  Speaker 5: between being black and gay.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: Some people do, though, like they think that they like
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: they identified with being gay before they identify with being
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: a black person. Like when the when all these different
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: struggles come up, because I mean, like listen, gay people
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: know how to galvanize and get shipped the funk done.
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: That is what I have seen over the last.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: Ten years, right correct, Gay rights is definitely moving faster
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: than black Do you feel like, mmm, like y'all know that's.
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: You really are black people? Are black gay people even
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: a part of that movement? Like y'all think y'all might
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: be a part.
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: Of it, part of which movement of gay rights? Yeah, yeah,
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: I mean I think it's it's it's a tough question.
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: Because well, I notice is rapid fire shy every time
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: like there's this is why I'm asking this because it
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: seems like every time there's like some litered uh some
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: what is the word I'm looking for? God damn not
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: litigation literation. Anytime there is some like things that are
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: trying to be done for black people in particular, right,
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: they always have to throw like it's like they throw
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: like the sub thing in there, and they throw like
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: a gay element into it. We're all black, know what
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. It's like it's like a old like a
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: covert way of doing things sometimes, and I don't think
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: that it ever benefits the gay the gay gay people
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: or black people. It's something else they're trying to push,
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: but they use that as like a front.
• 55:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that we're we can be both, and
• 55:08
  Speaker 5: I think that you have to stop Yeah good word,
• 55:11
  Speaker 5: yeah scrabble, right, but we have to stop trying to
• 55:16
  Speaker 5: put it put ourselves in a box, Like why are
• 55:17
  Speaker 5: we trying to limit it? You're you are also black,
• 55:20
  Speaker 5: but you're also a woman, you know what I'm saying, Like,
• 55:22
  Speaker 5: yeah you are right, Okay, Okay, congratulations, right, all right,
• 55:30
  Speaker 5: you're unique. Okay, but yeah, you know, so we are
• 55:33
  Speaker 5: who we are. So it's like, if I'm standing up
• 55:36
  Speaker 5: for myself, I'm going to stand there for all of me.
• 55:38
  Speaker 5: Why do I have to just stand up for the
• 55:39
  Speaker 5: black piece or just stand up for the gay piece.
• 55:41
  Speaker 5: I'm going to stand up for all of me, And
• 55:43
  Speaker 5: I'm not going to do that with any apology. And
• 55:46
  Speaker 5: like you know, people sometimes well just take the take
• 55:48
  Speaker 5: the gay part out, well you take the other part
• 55:51
  Speaker 5: of you out. How you can't because you are the
• 55:54
  Speaker 5: whole person. I can't just be a piece of it, Okay,
• 55:58
  Speaker 5: right you can't. You can't, right, Like it's me, It's
• 56:00
  Speaker 5: not on me?
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: Then, So what about spaces like barbershops? Do you feel like.
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: I go to a Dominican barber having a time in there,
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: you know his ass.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: But do you feel like like barbershops are like because
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: I always think of like barbershops save spaces for black
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: men to almost receive therapy. Do you feel like gay
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: black men are included in that.
• 56:28
  Speaker 5: I can only really talk about this from my perspective,
• 56:30
  Speaker 5: which I feel like is a bit different because I'm
• 56:33
  Speaker 5: so open about having conversation with people in the black barbershop.
• 56:37
  Speaker 5: People have convo with me, they like, bro, let me
• 56:40
  Speaker 5: ask you about this, Like they're willing to unpack whatever
• 56:43
  Speaker 5: the dialogue, whether the conversation is, and have those uncomfortable
• 56:46
  Speaker 5: conversations and say the words that they're not supposed to say.
• 56:49
  Speaker 5: And no, I'm not going a trip and just like
• 56:50
  Speaker 5: we can really have conversation. So to me, it's been
• 56:52
  Speaker 5: a safe space because people are more like, hey, bros,
• 56:54
  Speaker 5: waiting for you to come in this week. Bruh, this
• 56:57
  Speaker 5: boy was I was counting he talking about and then
• 56:59
  Speaker 5: they want to talk to me about that experience. So
• 57:02
  Speaker 5: I think that it can be a safe space. And
• 57:04
  Speaker 5: I think a lot of black barbers now that I've
• 57:06
  Speaker 5: been experiencing, are creatives.
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: In a certain way. They be in the studio, they
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: got other kind of stuff going on. They you know,
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: have gay barbers.
• 57:14
  Speaker 5: So I think people are just more open to conversation
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: if you're open to not going off every time somebody
• 57:20
  Speaker 5: says something offensive, but really being open to having a dialogue.
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 57:24
  Speaker 5: But growing up as a kid and like realizing, like
• 57:27
  Speaker 5: in my journey of realizing that I was gay, and
• 57:30
  Speaker 5: being at the barbershop, like, oh, let me just sit
• 57:32
  Speaker 5: up straight and put some base in my voice, you know,
• 57:34
  Speaker 5: let me you know, just my daddy barbershop.
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: Let me get it together.
• 57:38
  Speaker 5: But as you find your own spaces, like I'm a
• 57:40
  Speaker 5: person where I'm gonna go where I'm celebrated. So if
• 57:42
  Speaker 5: I go to the barbershop, but you make me feel
• 57:44
  Speaker 5: weird this the last fifty dollars you gonna get because
• 57:47
  Speaker 5: I go to the barber shop every week. So if
• 57:49
  Speaker 5: you add that up and you cool missing out that
• 57:51
  Speaker 5: much money because I like boys, Right, that's on you
• 57:53
  Speaker 5: as a businessman.
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 57:55
  Speaker 5: One thing we know about black gay man is that
• 57:57
  Speaker 5: we have what we call expendable in Okay.
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: So I go every week and get my hair cuts.
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: So my barbera loves seeing me. His birthday just came up.
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: I gave him a bottle, like, you know, like we're
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: best friends.
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: God didn't hit me up on Instagram and he uh,
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: something we might have talked about on the episode he
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: was speaking to and he said he he does find
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: that he gets business done better with gay black men
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: as opposed to sexual black men. Like gay black men
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: do better business. I don't know what average woman, right,
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: I mean the average man. No, the average woman is
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: equivalent to like top tier man.
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: That's what we think.
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: Average average shit we do on a daily basis. So yeah,
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: he felt like he just he never got shipped on
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: by a gay man in business. But when it comes
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: to them niggas.
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: Yes, I don't know. I don't know. That's such a
• 59:02
  Speaker 3: hard thing.
• 59:02
  Speaker 5: Because I feel like I get my business mind from
• 59:03
  Speaker 5: my dad. My dad is about his business. He's cold,
• 59:06
  Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying. He's always going to be
• 59:07
  Speaker 5: on top of his grind. So I just don't I
• 59:10
  Speaker 5: don't know where it comes from. I think that some
• 59:12
  Speaker 5: people have it and some people don't.
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: But and there's nothing to do with your sexuality.
• 59:16
  Speaker 5: I don't think it has to do with sexuality. I
• 59:18
  Speaker 5: think it has to do with mind state, and like,
• 59:20
  Speaker 5: you know how you were brought up, you know, I mean,
• 59:23
  Speaker 5: I guess, but my dad came from it, so he
• 59:26
  Speaker 5: found a way.
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: What would you tell to a young gay or a
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: young black man who feels gay and doesn't know how
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: to come out to their family.
• 59:42
  Speaker 5: I would tell him, don't rush it, Like what's the
• 59:45
  Speaker 5: You do it for you, not for the satisfaction of
• 59:48
  Speaker 5: other people. Like if you really want to come out
• 59:51
  Speaker 5: as you're ready for that, do that. But if you're not,
• 59:53
  Speaker 5: don't put pressure. I don't care if everybody around your
• 59:56
  Speaker 5: town we can see, we can tell that you're being gay, Like,
• 59:58
  Speaker 5: it does not matter.
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: Do what you need to do.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 5: Focus on yourself, build your brain, build your identity, and
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 5: then when you're confident, in who the hell you are
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 5: and you can stand on that, then stand on that.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 5: But until you feel grounded, don't let anybody for yeah,
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: because when you come out, it's a situation where it's
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 5: it's not an easy thing to reverse. So come out
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 5: when you're stable and you're structured and you're in a
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 5: good place. Build yourself a community of people that you know,
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 5: you can trust and.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: You can rely on.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 5: Because when I came out, you know, like it was
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 5: just I was confident. I was like, I don't care
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 5: what happens from here.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: This is it.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 5: I'm moving forward. And I She told my my friend Ashley,
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 5: and she was my brother's baby mother as well. I
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 5: told her first, because like, you gotta help me tell
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 5: these straight brothers.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 4: That I got that I are you concerned with how
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 4: they were?
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah? I was shaking in my boots. I was like,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I know they love me, but I'm
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 3: just like, right, because what.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: People like, okay with the conversation around like a man
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: not being able to tell a woman because they're gonna
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: be judged or whatever. Right, I really be feeling like
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: men have a tough time coming out because they're more
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: so concerned about what the friends that know them, you know,
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: since they ever right they want to say about them.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean that's a genuine concern because these are
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 5: the people that you want love, that have supported you,
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 5: that like, these are the people's opinion that you actually
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 5: care about, You care less about, like when I came out,
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 5: care less about what society thought.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: I was more worried about, like what's my brother gonna think?
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: What's my mom gonna think? You know? That was the highlight.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 5: I mean, ultimately, when I told them, they were just like, oh,
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 5: you fucking flame, and they laughed and they right, they
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 5: laughed and they hug and it's like, we do not
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 5: care like we genuinely love you. And then they came
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 5: out with me. When I went out that day and
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 5: I was telling everybody else about I told the whole
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 5: world I was hanging from around, I was like, I'm
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 5: body like, that's my gay brother right there, and I
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 5: love them, and if anybody got something to say about them,
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 5: it's gonna be problems.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: Right Well, I mean that's what what everybody would want,
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: but unfortunately that.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 3: Is that's not always the case. That's what I'm saying.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 5: You gotta do it when you're confident because I was
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 5: gonna do it at that day, whether or not they
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 5: took my side or not. If they came with me
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 5: and were willing to support me, I was ready for that.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 5: If they said otherwise they weren't gona support me, I
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 5: was ready for that.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 3: I was ready.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 5: So if you're a young black gay man or young
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 5: gay man in general, and you are feeling that you're ready,
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 5: make sure that you're solid than who you are. First,
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 5: don't ever step out on unsolid ground for the sake
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 5: of others.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: Did you ever have like any older family members that
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: were like mm mmm, like that wasn't supportive. Like my grandmother,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: let me tell you, God rest her soul. But she
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: was just like a very old school, very traditional, very
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: Bible toting, Bible thumping country ass old lady. And she
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: used to always accuse me of being gay and accused yes,
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: because I would wear hats and stuff like that, and
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: she like, it's got on that man hat.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: She wasn't all born with it at all.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: Like I would walk by all right, So I used
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: to wear those little It wasn't Kano it was like Kano.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 4: Style, but it was like it was a style and
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 4: I would walk by.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: My family, like just be sitting outside or something and
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, hey, y'all and I'll walk by, and
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: then I hear everybody laughing and I look bad. Yeah,
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: Grandma backg reading me, Dawn. Do it like that? I
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: told y'all the one right, So do you have like
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: any elders in the family that was just like not
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: as supportive.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 3: This is the thing about me, right, I do not care.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 5: So like I came from a space of like, I'm
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 5: gonna do this because this is who I am, and
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 5: y'all gonna move around like that's just what it was like.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 5: I just didn't have space for that. And my grandma
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 5: on my dad's side in particular, she was like very
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 5: much for like just be the best, like well, despite
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 5: whatever else they talking about, beat the coldest, be the fastest,
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 5: make the most money, be the coolest, like just be
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 5: one hundred whatever you do, be the best at it.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 5: So you know, when it came out to me being gay,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 5: show you the best gay, Well, I'm.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 3: The best man that I could be. In general.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 5: I got my stuff together. I own multiple properties, like
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 5: I own my own business. I'm move a confidence like
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 5: I'm cold, like it is what it is so when
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 5: it came to like even when coming out to my mom,
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 5: she doesn't remember this, but she told me right, a
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 5: right that bitch.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 3: And a real nigga.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 5: But when I told my mom, she was just like,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 5: if the only thing they can say against you is
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 5: that you're gay, they don't have a conversation. So go
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 5: out and just succeed or whatever it is it has
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 5: going to do. And then that's just what I went
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 5: about doing. So like when I joined the Air Force,
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 5: I was just very good at what I did, and
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 5: like I do do good in my career. So it's
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 5: just whatever you're gonna do, be the best. And then
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 5: it tones that conversation down real goofy, because if you're
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 5: trying to talk about me in a negative way, but
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 5: like you don't have your stuff together.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 3: I just really don't have a right for you. Like
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 3: you shouldn't be worried about me. You really should be
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 3: going to get some business about yourself, right, it should
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: really work on that.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: I think I think more men are gaining to mind
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: than they will actually be gay. I always you saying that,
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: but I really believe that. I believe that there are
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: men who have these uh this like a homo eroticism mindset, right,
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: but they may never actually act on it, And those
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: are probably the ones who'll be acting the food on
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: the internet talking crazy because they are so jealous of
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: these men being able to live in their truth. It
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: pisses them off because they don't have the courage to
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: do that.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a it's a that's a two edge of
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 5: sore right there, because then that would you would frame
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 5: that himson being like a gay man. And then but
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 5: at the same time, he's not acting on it. And
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 5: we all have our demons that we don't act on,
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 5: so that that doesn't make me that right, right, So
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 5: it's like, how does he win in that space? If
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 5: he goes out and does it and now he's acting
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 5: on this this demon or thing that you that you're
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 5: calling it or whatever you no, like, he's acting on that, right,
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 5: he's acting on this mindset. But then you flip it
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 5: if he does, if he doesn't act on it and
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 5: he comes and marriages, like gets married and has a
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 5: family and stuff, then it's like, oh, but secretly he
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 5: wants to be how.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 3: Does he win?
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: You should have been yourself, they want.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 5: But that is myself. Myself is the man who doesn't
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 5: want to go down that journey. I want to be
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 5: Mary and half kids. I'm being myself, but that's not
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 5: acceptable because I have these thoughts and unpacking and I'm
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 5: working on not alone.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: You'll never know about those thoughts. The thoughts come out
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: in the way some of the way.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: So you you have women, you got all these children,
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: and you don't really like women, and you can tell
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: about how you treat them. So is it is it
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: that you're battling your your sexuality? You just can't say that.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 3: Could be?
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: Could be?
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 3: Could be? It could be so many things, you know,
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 3: could be.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: He could women like I gotta deal with this stitch.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: I really don't want to. I like hanging with my homeboys.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 3: Right. Why think so many things are associated with the fact,
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 3: like to connect to being gay. But he just might
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 3: be a fucked up person.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 5: You may have nothing to do suality. People are just
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 5: like screwing a lot of the times and they're going
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 5: through what if it? What if he just disrespectful to women?
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 3: What if that just is who he is? What if
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 3: his daddy was that? What if he just is unpacking
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 3: something like you know, there's so many layers, but we
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 3: always jump.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 5: To he gotta have something on the low, added to
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 5: the game list, Added to that man, it's just hungry,
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 5: he game right. Oh my gosh, I can't believe he
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 5: disrespectful to his like what how is he supposed to
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 5: show him for you? Like you know, we always jumped
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 5: straight to okay, he must be doing that.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you what I I do that. But
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: let me tell you if I've ever been rejected by
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: a man, I'm like, he's gay.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: If we walk inself place and we walked past like
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: two three men and they none of them look at
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: us like, y'all gay?
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: Okay? What if? What if he's.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 3: Okay, you gotta be gay? Because do you see me?
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 5: Especially if you've done up? Then they really like I
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 5: got my makeup, all of my ears.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're like okay, but as a gay man, I look,
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 3: I look, so now what am I straight?
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: Now?
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 3: Does it?
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 5: Why doesn't it work on reverse? Because if you walk
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 5: past me with all that ass, I'm gonna check it out.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: And now you buy on Tuesdays and Wisday late on Thursdays?
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 2: All right, every no, we gotta we gotta take a shot.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so we have a sponsor.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 4: It's Red Leebray.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 2: It is a female black owned tequila brand out of Atlanta,
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: and it's nice and smooth. So I have the Peach margarita.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 2: We are gonna take a shot of this, and here,
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: pick up your drink. Let's take a shot to Its.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: Usually supposed to go something like this. This episode and
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: we talked back is brought to you by jayly Bray.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 4: That's not even how you say it.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 3: Er to living in your truth, to living in your truth.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: Yes, we're gonna have nice glasses next time, y'all.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 3: What do you think?
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 5: Oh, that's absolutely delicious. I'm definitely gonna need to pick
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 5: some of that up. Yeah it's good, right, Yeah, it's
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 5: like fruity but still smooth.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 3: I can take the whole shot.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: I could do that whole bottle like by myself.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 3: I feel like, okay, we did correct.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: Actually, do you have any last questions for Phil before
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: we wrap it up? This is Phil, This is this
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 2: is why I knew you was the perfect person and
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 2: you didn't need another gay here?
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 3: Okay, I am.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: Yes, thank you so much, and listen, I hope if
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: me are aj or Phil said anything to offend, we
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 2: sorry right now, before y'all even send us those messages
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: and comments.
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: You're not sorry, No, I'm not ever sorry.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: Wh Yeah, I don't ever want to offend anyone.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry though, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're not so
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: when you offend people, you don't be like, I'm not
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 1: a how is it offensive? And we sitting here for
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: conversation to get understanding?
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 5: How is anything we can I'm open to having dialogue,
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 5: you know, like I think sometimes things people can be offended,
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 5: and it's okay, let's have more conversation and by all
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 5: means educate us, like, you know, educate me, like if
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 5: we said something wrong, let me know where that where
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 5: that was a conversation and we can have a dialogue
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 5: about it.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: Because remember we had on my friend's son and he
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 2: said that we said things that offended here.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 3: I didn't hear that.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: Well, he told me personally, and I was like, damn,
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: what did I say? Like always proved right, I'm always
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: trying so hard not to offend.
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be on eggs shells like that
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: because I don't get offended easily.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 3: I don't get offended easily at all.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, saying especially if we sitting down having actual dialogue.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 2: You do.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 3: You are definitely a kid.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 2: I just saying about my piky you been.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 3: I am not offended, so by all means.
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: That's me.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 2: So that's why I always I'm always trying to get
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: in front of it, you know, because I just don't
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: want to offend because I know I'll be offended quick.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 3: So no, send a message, tell us if you defend,
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 3: if we offended you.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 5: But you know, no, we should be able to have
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 5: uncomfortable conversations, and sometimes people may not have a space
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 5: where they have someone they feel comfortable to have that
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 5: conversation with. So your platform was creating a space so
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 5: we could dive into that for those people. If that's
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 5: not for you, then I understand that. But this is
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 5: for those people who need that space.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: No, well I don't, but I just always want to,
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: like because then now like you're cautious, you can't even
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: tell your true thoughts about things because you're concerned.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 2: No I said what I like, I said, I apologize,
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: but no, I apologize. I just apologize because I don't
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: want to. I care about hurting people, so I just
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: don't want to hurt, you know, But tell everybody where
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: they can find you plug all your things. Oh no, no, no,
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 2: Before you do that, we gotta have a SIMP series
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 2: from you. So we have a segment. You have to
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 2: share a time that you got played by a person
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: that I got played. I don't know.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 3: I didn't know this was coming.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 5: Okay, ooh, I like a time I got played.
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 3: Like, what's an example?
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, So I'll give you one of mine that I've
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 2: shared on the show. I was dating this guy. He
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 2: would do nice things for me for a long time. Financially,
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 2: he ended up going to jail for a long time
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 2: when he came home. I was living in Europe at
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: the time. I flew home, took him to a nice dinner,
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 2: bottom some clothes, like tricked off on him real heavy,
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 2: and you know we were talking about like what we
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: could be again. Yeah, And I flew back to Europe
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 2: and when I landed, I turned my phone on and
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: he was like hugged up with a bitch in an outfit.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: I bought him saying I'm back with my baby. I
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: got played.
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 3: H Yeah that's tough.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah that happened. So do you have like a
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 2: story where like someone for nest, someone did something to
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 2: like take advantage or you know, just someone you liked
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: and it's extra simpy if you went.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 4: Back after that.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 3: Okay, extra simpy. I think I might qualify as an
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 3: extra simp. While I was dealing with this.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 5: One guy, and I was in the military at the time,
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 5: and at this point we like lived together and everything. So, uh,
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 5: he lived in my apartment, so to start things off right,
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 5: a department even lived there would be as well. So
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 5: when it came down to it, like you know, I
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 5: was in school, I was doing a lot of things
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 5: all at one time. You know, I was in school,
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 5: I was in the military, I had a job selling
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 5: cars on the side, and I was like building furniture
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 5: as well. Like you know, I'm hustling right, grind it
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 5: from my little family. You know, I'm trying to you know,
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 5: we're gonna make it. And I'm paying to wish it
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 5: for him to go to school because he you know,
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 5: his GPA was messed up, so nigga, he had to
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 5: do what he had to do to get back in school.
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 5: So I was the first semester we had to pay for.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 5: So I'm paying for tuish it and it's being cheated.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm. He was doing all the things I'm doing.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 3: All the things I'm putting it. No, he was just
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 3: going to school.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 5: It's like we should you to focus. We used to
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 5: focus on school and just get this GPA so we
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 5: can get some financial a next semester. Because I'm a planner,
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 5: I write it all out, you know. So I had
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 5: wrote out a plan. It was like, we're gonna get there.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 5: And he definitely was cheating.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 3: How did you find that in our apartment?
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 2: Ooh and yo.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: Ship, Yeah, you let him stay there some more.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 3: And yeah, he in order to go, so say me
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 3: for a period of time and then I left.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: You gave the an apartment.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gone. So I left him, went and moved
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: damn to hold it city. Let him have that life.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 3: But we're friends now though. Cool you okay, we got through.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 2: Oh that was real simpy.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you know.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 5: I'm like a hard for people, like if you can
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 5: help somebody out, like if you have the means to
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 5: do so, like show up in that way so I
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 5: can so like I should just go ahead and just
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 5: help them, held them out for a little bit longer,
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 5: and you know, so do.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: You always are you in?
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: Are?
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 2: So this is the last question because I know we
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 2: gotta go, but do you always end up like the
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 2: alpha in all your relationships because sometimes you want to
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: be kept Not anymore.
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 3: I think I lived on that side of the corn
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 3: when I was like younger.
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 5: Now I'm just like, no, Like, if you can't show
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 5: up the way that I could show up for you,
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 5: or you can't invest in us the way that.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like there's qualifiers. So it's like, if you.
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 5: Don't have it, we're not gonna even get there for
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 5: you to take advantage. Okay, Yes, I prefer that you
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 5: have your things together very much in order.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 2: I'm into that, all right, So tell everybody where they
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 2: can find you plug all your things.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so you can find me for the most part.
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 5: If you want to look for me, just look for
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 5: me on Instagram at Underscore Philip Anthony m and that's it.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 4: What about your nonprofit? Where can they find that as well?
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 5: You can find that on my Instagram page as well.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 5: But it's called everybody needs a feel. Everybody there, direct
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 5: you to everything.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 3: Else, everybody else, everybody.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 4: Everybody definitely needs a feel, But not my field.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 2: How you all feel?
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 3: Okay? Right, I am spoke doctor Field, get with him.
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 1: All right, y'all. Have you enjoyed this episode?
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 3: Y'all?
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: Tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio Apple where the
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: fuck you get your podcasts at Just your co hosts
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: A J Holiday two point on Instagram, kick.
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 4: Its hand, y'all.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 2: It's official Tan Bound on Instagram. I love y'all so much.
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 2: Thank y'all for tuning in once again. Remember speak now
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 2: and never hold your gay.
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: We talk Back podcast is the production of iHeartRadio. Visit
• 1:17:19
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• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: your favorite shows.