Latest / FINE is a 4-Letter Word / 80. (S3E6) Slowing Down to Speed Up: Letting Your Inner Voice Guide You with Dr. Amy Baker

Transcript

80. (S3E6) Slowing Down to Speed Up: Letting Your Inner Voice Guide You with Dr. Amy Baker · FINE is a 4-Letter Word

• 0:02
  Lori Saitz: Hey, my friend. Welcome to FINE is a 4-Letter Word. My name is Lori Saitz. I'm an entrepreneur, mentor, founder of ZenRabbit, and your instigator in saying fuck being fine. This show is for those of you who are done living with the dumpster fire and are ready to find the tools and courage to transform to step into more success and fulfillment in both your personal and business life. You're in the right place for stories of self discovery, gratitude and connection, and to help you strengthen that connection to your own inner guidance, you'll find each episode has an accompanying meditation. Now let's get into it. Hey there. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Fine is a four letter word. Today's guest is someone who's making waves in the health and wellness industry. Dr. Amy Baker is a former pharmacist and health care administrator who left it all behind to follow her passion and purpose. Now she's an empowerment activist and human humane mentor, determined to change the way we think about health. I love that she's helping people see through the bullshit narratives of their lives so they can cultivate sovereignty, inspiration and intimacy in love, life and work in that order. Dr. Amy has a message for anyone who's felt like they weren't enough or too much who's stuck in a job that's draining their soul. To follow your passions and find your purpose just like she did. Like many of my guests, her journey wasn't easy, but the reward of living authentically and being true to herself has brought her a sense of peace and purpose.
• 1:50
  Are you sensing a theme in recent episodes that goes beyond people taking sabbaticals? Now she's on a mission to help others do the same. So let's dive in and learn from the amazing Dr. Amy Baker. Today's episode is sponsored by ZenRabbit. If you'd like to find peace of mind amidst the chaos, and no matter what's going on around you, you'll find a whole bunch of free resources like meditations and articles at ZenRabbit dot com. And while you're there, if you're curious about how you might stop working so hard and achieve more success at the same time, get a copy of the five Easy ways to Start Living a Sabbatical life. It's a short guide to working less and living better. Find it all at ZenRabbit dot com. Hello and welcome to Find is a four letter word I was about to say. I'm so excited to have Dr. Amy Baker here. And then it occurred to me that I say that every episode, like, I'm so excited because I love every single one of my guests. They just show up for me. And I love how the universe works in that way. And it brings me the most, the coolest, the most coolest people. Dr. Amy, welcome to the show.
• 3:09
  Amy Baker: Thanks for having me.
• 3:11
  Lori Saitz: It is my pleasure. And the way that Dr. Amy came to me through the universe was through our mutual friend, Coach Chris. So shout out to Coach Chris. Yes. Let's get right into it. And I want to ask you or no, I'm eliminating the word want. If you listen back to the last episode of the podcast in 2022, I talked about things that we could do without or things to pay attention to moving into the New year and that word want because it indicates scarcity. So yes, let's simply start with the question of what were the values and beliefs you were raised with that contributed to you becoming who you did as a young adult? Wow.
• 4:01
  Amy Baker: A lot of the typical societal. Bullshit that there's a certain there's a certain path to success, that success means a good job and good money and retirement after retirement funds and. And if you mind your P's and your Q's and your dot, your I's and cross your T's just right. Just so everything is going to be great.
• 4:26
  Lori Saitz: Mm hmm.
• 4:27
  Amy Baker: And so the other part of that was my strategy was to be perfect because I was a good achiever. And in order to get love, I did everything perfectly. Yes. Which worked in some ways for a while until it didn't.
• 4:45
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, I can totally relate to that. And I'm sure the listeners can relate to that as well. I'm curious, are you the oldest child?
• 4:52
  Amy Baker: I'm the youngest.
• 4:54
  Lori Saitz: Oh, okay.
• 4:55
  Amy Baker: Yeah. And they were. A little easier on me. My parents is just my sister and I. And I just showed a lot of promise. And I had that. I hate the phrase. You have so much potential.
• 5:10
  Lori Saitz: Hmm.
• 5:11
  Amy Baker: Because it implies that I'm not okay where I'm at.
• 5:15
  Lori Saitz: Yes.
• 5:16
  Amy Baker: And I heard that so much. And I know it was meant lovingly, but it really fucked with me.
• 5:24
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, I can imagine. Because. Right. It's telling you you're not good enough here, but you could be good if you try a little harder. Yeah. Just keep trying harder. Just like maybe it's a moving. It's a moving target. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So how did that play out in in who you became and what choices you made as for your career.
• 5:50
  Amy Baker: Wow. So when I followed my there's a few ways that showed up when I followed my dream to be a ballerina. I left home at 16 to go study in the Bay Area. That was great. But then my perfectionism came in was a severe anorexic, depressed, and yeah, I mean, there were a lot of beautiful things about it, and that perfectionism and needing external validation led to some not so great things. So when I didn't do that, mainly because my parents wanted me to go to college, they're like, Don't follow your passion, follow the safe path. So I ended up giving up that and saying, Well, I want a doctorate. And I went applied to medical and pharmacy school. I really wanted to be a physician, actually, and I applied to both schools and pharmacy took me and medical didn't kind of like a lot of my relationships. After that, I, I went with what? Who would take.
• 6:52
  Lori Saitz: Me? Yes. Okay. Right. It's not about what I want. It's what I can get or what they are willing to give me.
• 7:01
  Amy Baker: Yeah. Like, Oh, you love me. Okay. I need that to feel whole. So I'm going to go with that. I mean, not that extreme, but looking back, I definitely see that that codependent behavior showing up every part of my life until the past couple of years, for sure. Yeah. And I saw I entered a doctor pharmacy program. Four years of college, $175,000 in student loan debt. And then after 11 years of that, I was like, Oh, wait, I never actually believed in this.
• 7:34
  Lori Saitz: Oh, wow. Yeah, I went. I went to do this, but I don't actually like this field, right? Yeah.
• 7:42
  Amy Baker: That's like a quick arc. But that.
• 7:44
  Lori Saitz: Was. How did that show up for you? Like, was it like a lightning bolt? You were in a meditation one day and you just got like this massive insight or what happened? How did you figure that out?
• 7:56
  Amy Baker: No, I think. So going into pharmacy, they often referred to disease, state management, disease. And I like it made me want to puke at the time and it still does. But I kind of stuff that away because I had to justify my devotion to my field. I was a leader. I couldn't knowledge that. Yeah, but about. 2017. Things started to shift for me when I realized that. My soul. I had. I wrote this poem like my soul was. There's like a leak in my boat. My vitality was slowly draining. And. I knew that it was partially because I wasn't in alignment and I would go and take this great money that I was making. And like I kind of liken it to my eating disorders where I would binge on soul filling activities, you know, like Doctor Clarice Estes and these retreats that I'd fill up on and then carry that and hope that sustained me in a job where eventually that was like, Oh. So I'd binge and purge. Binge and.
• 9:14
  Lori Saitz: Purge.
• 9:14
  Amy Baker: Yeah. Like, this isn't sustainable, right? And it's not actually helping.
• 9:19
  Lori Saitz: Well, I imagine that it would be like, you know, like an addict, like it starts out, I only need one every six months and then I need it every four months, and then I need it every week. Like, I need to go on a retreat every week. And then you're like, Hmm, I might have a problem.
• 9:36
  Amy Baker: Yeah. Yeah. So I started seeing the pattern and I knew that my job was not fulfilling at that point. Like, like I said, it was about a four year period where I was kind of complaining about it, trying to get my way out of Oregon until the point where I was like, I'm sick of hearing myself complain and I'm sure my friends are too.
• 9:56
  Lori Saitz: Yeah.
• 9:57
  Amy Baker: So what do I do about this? And I had a perfect storm. I'm sure many people had a perfect storm in 2020, but. But that's when. When I was able to shift. Out of that job and into something that is in alignment with what I believe. And I'm happy to share that.
• 10:20
  Lori Saitz: Yes. Where you want to go? Yeah, we'll get into that. But it's interesting because similar to many people's stories, everything was fine for a very long time. Until it wasn't. Mm hmm. Or, you know, it's fine, but not fine. It just takes a long time to get up the courage. I was on a call this morning doing a presentation on courage and how it's not the absence of fear. It's. It's moving forward. Even though you feel the fear and that finding that courage can take a while. Yeah, it can take. Even though, you know, things aren't right, finding the courage to take the action that, you know, you need to take takes a little while. Yeah.
• 11:07
  Amy Baker: Yeah. And it's been like almost on a I envision a journey, kind of like the books I used to read as a kid. Like the Choose Your Own Adventure, where it's like, Hmm, there's so many forks in the road, and the more you align with something, the more synchronicity happens and stuff starts presenting. And I started going. Okay. Things are presenting.
• 11:29
  Lori Saitz: Yeah.
• 11:29
  Amy Baker: This is a good sign. I'm. I think I'm on the right path. But it wasn't an overnight. Right now there was. There was a moment.
• 11:37
  Lori Saitz: Yes.
• 11:39
  Amy Baker: That was the decision maker for me.
• 11:41
  Lori Saitz: What was that?
• 11:42
  Amy Baker: But it took four years to get there. So when I mentioned the perfect storm, I in 2020, I had a relationship crisis where internal crisis where I was dating a guy and he for about three months and he ghosted me and I just went into six weeks of severe depression like grief weight.
• 12:05
  Lori Saitz: After three months, he ghosted you like not.
• 12:08
  Amy Baker: Just yeah, completely ghosted me like I moved into a couple and the whole story.
• 12:12
  Lori Saitz: Wow. Okay.
• 12:15
  Amy Baker: And and so I went into six weeks of crazy grief, like crying 6 hours a day. And I started walking. I could barely function and I said, I need to fix this. I am not doing this to myself again. This is my codependency like. And so I entered the relationship school to become a relationship coach. Really? Just to, like, work on my shit.
• 12:39
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, right, right. I want to learn how and I was, and then maybe I can help some other people and, and actually I want to retract that again. The fixed me. There's nothing wrong with us. No, but work on that issue.
• 12:54
  Amy Baker: Yeah I was off path and years of therapy eating disorder treatment program like nothing helped me fix my codependency. I'm doing the training and then I was working remote for two years in my job and they wanted me on site and I was like, no. But basically I had a lot of trauma surfaced January of 21, so I went off to Maui. And I didn't tell them because I was working remote. Right. And they never required me to tell them where I was. And I went where I needed to heal. I was there for six weeks and they said, We need you on site tomorrow. And I was like, Uh oh, that's not going to happen. Yeah. And so there was some stuff that happened and then they said, if you want to keep your job, be on site 100% of the time. And when they said that, I, I decided I was out because the one thing keeping me in my job, I realized at that point, besides the good money, eight weeks of PTO, honestly, it was that I had freedom. And when that freedom went away, I was like, my value of freedom was above the job.
• 14:02
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. This is why it's so important for people to get clear on what their values are so that you can make decisions that serve you. Yeah. So if you knew that your highest value was freedom and that was being taken away, you could go, Yeah, I'm out. And there's no doubt, no question, no hesitation. You just know. Yeah.
• 14:24
  Amy Baker: Yeah. And that was part of my program. And that's what I work with people is that's the first thing we do is look at our values and are we aligned with our values or could we maybe shift how we're living in accordance with our actual values?
• 14:37
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, that's the super important. That is what I work on with clients too. At the very beginning of the fuck being fine program is we start with examining what are your values and are you living them? And one of the ways to tell that is look at your calendar and right is is your calendar filled with things that that serve your values or not? Like if you say family is a high value but you have no time for family in your calendar, either family is not or you're not living in accordance with your values totally. And once you're aware, then you can make a change.
• 15:15
  Amy Baker: Absolutely. Which is super empowering to know that because then you enter that zone of like, I know this is right.
• 15:22
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. And there's no right or wrong around which values you choose.
• 15:26
  Amy Baker: No, they're very personal. Yeah. Yeah. And they are right for you.
• 15:31
  Lori Saitz: Mm hmm. Yeah. So after you left. Yes. After you bade them goodbye. What? What happened? Did you stay in Hawaii?
• 15:40
  Amy Baker: No, I had to go back to Oregon. And actually, the perfect storm of this, that. Was so good for me. And why I call myself an empowerment activist is because my sexual trauma surfaced. Part of that that I realized is any time I felt powerless in my life, my body would go into fight or flight. Hypervigilance, I get super reactive and I didn't understand even if I couldn't get a word in edgewise in a conversation, it was like.
• 16:08
  Lori Saitz: Super.
• 16:09
  Amy Baker: Activated. Now I understand that. So I'm working with a trauma therapist. I'm forced to be on site 100% of the time. I feel very powerless over what I can do in my job and and where I can be. And and so I was it was essentially retraumatizing me in this way that I could work with my therapist. And it helped me to realize that how many of our patients and providers are actually being retraumatised if they have this in their past because they're powerless, They feel powerless to care for their patients. The patients feel powerless to advocate for themselves.
• 16:48
  Lori Saitz: Yeah.
• 16:50
  Amy Baker: Right. Like how many people don't even realize that? The system itself. Is likely retraumatizing people and therefore making them keeping them sick.
• 17:00
  Lori Saitz: Yeah.
• 17:01
  Amy Baker: And that's why it was a perfect storm. And I don't know if I answered your question.
• 17:05
  Lori Saitz: Well, okay, so wait, I want to back up a second because you said they required you to be on site. And so you you said I'm I'm out.
• 17:11
  Amy Baker: Well, I plan my six month exit.
• 17:13
  Lori Saitz: Oh, okay. So it wasn't like I quit and I'm out of here the next day. That's where I. That's why I thought maybe you stayed. And why.
• 17:20
  Amy Baker: Yeah, it was. I flew right back. I went on site after two years remote and fought the good fight and planned my six month exit.
• 17:28
  Lori Saitz: Gotcha. Okay.
• 17:30
  Amy Baker: Yeah. Yeah.
• 17:31
  Lori Saitz: All right. What were you doing that like you saw this? How this was affecting the people in your industry. And so are you working now with people in your industry? Is that where not yet focused your work?
• 17:49
  Amy Baker: I would like to for sure. And I'm still formulating what that looks like. I honestly I was in a group last night and I think it's neat. She talks about the the camel. Carrying the burdens of others. And then there's the lion that says, Fuck it, I'm out. And then there's the child stage, which is where you come to aligning and living your life is kind of how I understood it. And I'm just coming out of the lion stage, redefining who I am and coming out of the mentality of the health care field. Yeah, enough to where I can know, okay, now I can approach them this way knowing that I was still wrapped up in how they thought. Text transitions take more time than we often.
• 18:37
  Lori Saitz: Want.
• 18:38
  Amy Baker: Them to take.
• 18:39
  Lori Saitz: Definitely. I don't even know if it's often it seems like always. Wow. Oh, all right. Maybe that's a little all encompassing. Yes, they do often take time. Even even just doing work. Like not even talking about, like, life transitions. It's like you plan something in your calendar and I'm going to spend 2 hours writing this and 5 hours later you're still not finishing. You're like, What is taking me so long? Other people would have had this done in 2 hours, but it's not true. It's how that's how long it takes. We want things to be shorter. Like this should only take X amount of time and it would probably only take other people X amount. But then we'd beat ourselves up because it took us longer when it probably would have taken everybody else longer too.
• 19:30
  Amy Baker: Yeah, and honestly, the more we slow down. The faster that process goes.
• 19:35
  Lori Saitz: Yes.
• 19:37
  Amy Baker: It feels very counterintuitive, but Exactly.
• 19:40
  Lori Saitz: It's very counterintuitive. So speaking of being counterintuitive. Talk to me, since we are focusing a bit on in this season on taking sabbaticals. And I know you've taken two.
• 19:52
  Amy Baker: Yeah. So one beautiful thing. So I think one thing I didn't share was when I did leave my job, I sold everything I own and hit the road as a nomad. So and I had scheduled a ten day Vipassana retreat. In Texas. And it was the first time like I've done one before. But it was. At the end of the ten days they wanted people to serve. And I thought. Oh, shit. I don't have anything planned. Like, I don't need to be anywhere.
• 20:26
  Lori Saitz: For, like, the first time ever, right?
• 20:28
  Amy Baker: Ever. Yeah. Yeah. And. And if I stay there, the housing is paid for. I'm being fed like I have no expenses, so my savings is good. I was like.
• 20:42
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, let me just.
• 20:45
  Amy Baker: Let me just slow down. After the chaos of selling all my stuff for three months and and feel the simplicity of living like a.
• 20:54
  Lori Saitz: Monk.
• 20:55
  Amy Baker: For a month. And I could have stayed longer, but I had some other commitments that I needed to do. You can't really be online on tweet.
• 21:05
  Lori Saitz: So yeah.
• 21:06
  Amy Baker: Yeah. So yeah, that.
• 21:08
  Lori Saitz: Was.
• 21:09
  Amy Baker: Amazing to know that I could pause and coming out of it, my life was very simple. For a couple of months.
• 21:17
  Lori Saitz: I was going to ask, has it stayed that way? No, no.
• 21:21
  Amy Baker: I created my own chaos again. But I know what that's like. I know in my body the value of it. And, you know, once I get out of my own way, I can go back to some portion of that.
• 21:37
  Lori Saitz: Do you think we can live that way, like indefinitely, or is that just a place to go to rest? Like, can people actually live in that space for a long term? Long term?
• 21:49
  Amy Baker: I think it depends on what you want to create in life. And when I say that space, you know, the space after after I came out of the retreat center as meditating an hour in the morning and hour in the evening, that is very doable. Once, you know, once you've sat for 10 to 11 hours a day, like 2 hours a day is nothing. Keeping it going. It really isn't.
• 22:14
  Lori Saitz: It's trying to imagine what it would be like to sit for ten or 11 hours a day, because I'm like, I don't know if I could do that.
• 22:21
  Amy Baker: Right. You could. It's just I always tell people they're like, Oh, I don't think I could do that. I'm like, You could. It's just not a high enough value right now. Yes, true. Yeah. But yeah, I think the busy you are, the better the more like the the higher the value of sitting for an hour or 2 hours a day. You don't need to do it all day. People talk about flow state that can be part of flow state. Yeah, it's just touching in, right?
• 22:49
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. Yeah.
• 22:50
  Amy Baker: To that being state that. A non-reactive place where the body is not driving our actions, where our brain goes offline, and we don't know why we're doing what we're doing. The body is the subconscious in action. It's like.
• 23:04
  Lori Saitz: Just.
• 23:05
  Amy Baker: We do these things and don't even know why.
• 23:07
  Lori Saitz: Which is why it's important to sit right? Yeah. Habits are the body. Jo Dispenser talks about the body driving, the mind.
• 23:19
  Amy Baker: Controlling.
• 23:19
  Lori Saitz: Yes, the mind. Because we just get into these habits and we do things out of habit. So it's the body controlling the mind. And when you sit, you give the mind the control back.
• 23:31
  Amy Baker: Yeah. And you don't. The body's not allowed to move into action. Reaction really, based on the sensation that we're not even aware of. The sensation is a subconscious leading the body. So yeah.
• 23:44
  Lori Saitz: Yeah.
• 23:45
  Amy Baker: Georgia spends dispenses great.
• 23:46
  Lori Saitz: He is. He really is. I have a question for you about sabbatical versus vacation because I get this from people when I talk to them about teaching people how to start living the sabbatical life, which does not necessarily mean you have to go on sabbatical for a year or even a month. But how do you incorporate some of those concepts into sabbatical life? And then people ask me, What's the difference between a sabbatical and a vacation? So I'm curious to hear your response.
• 24:18
  Amy Baker: I'm so glad you asked that because that reminded me of why. Why I knew that for me right now, nomadic life is it? And I think there's so much permission in allowing ourselves to live the sabbatical life that we just need to give ourselves. So when I was working remote as a director, I would go off in, I was car camping and I would go off into Forest Service roads and find places with like four G and do my work there.
• 24:51
  Lori Saitz: Did you ever remember that said four G here?
• 24:55
  Amy Baker: Oh, I have, yes. Onyx Hunt is an app and I would like mark the geo marked places with where I could revisit.
• 25:03
  Lori Saitz: Oc.
• 25:04
  Amy Baker: That had service.
• 25:06
  Lori Saitz: So I figured there must be some kind of app.
• 25:08
  Amy Baker: Yeah, but I. I wanted to go clamming on the Oregon coast. And there was one day left in the year when I could do it in the morning at low tide and it was a Tuesday and I was like, Shit, that's the middle of the week. And I said, screw it, I'm going to go. And I went and I was like, clamming at 530 in the morning. And then I go in my car and take a conference call, and then I go out and clam some more and come in and take a conference call. And then I spent the rest of the day on my the back of my my tailgate on my truck, looking at the ocean and working. And I did this for the week and I came back on a Friday and my daughter was visiting and I was like. Is tomorrow, Monday. She's like, Mom, tomorrow, Saturday. And I was like.
• 25:53
  Lori Saitz: Whoa.
• 25:54
  Amy Baker: I feel like. I feel like I didn't even work this week. And like every light bulb went.
• 26:00
  Lori Saitz: Off.
• 26:00
  Amy Baker: I said, This is what I.
• 26:02
  Lori Saitz: Want.
• 26:03
  Amy Baker: I want my life and my work to be intermingled in a way that supports me feeling that I'm living my life the way I want.
• 26:10
  Lori Saitz: Yes.
• 26:11
  Amy Baker: And nothing else. I mean, to to work a full week and not feel like I worked because I was still living. I wasn't putting off my life, which is what vacation is. Yeah, let me put off my life and then just try and binge and purge. It's like try and live that in a week or two. Yeah.
• 26:28
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. You found true integration. Mm hmm. Which is exactly what is coming to me right now as we're talking it, living the sabbatical life is. Is that true? Integration? And not trying to you know, I really dislike the term of work life balance because there isn't really it doesn't really exist. But that integration is similar to the integration that we feel when we're. When we really understand a concept like, you know, you can teach people some of the things that we've been talking about and they understand it, but it's not integrated into their being. Totally. Totally. Yeah.
• 27:13
  Amy Baker: Yeah. And that integrated it for me, like every light bulb went off and I said, This is what I want. This is happening.
• 27:20
  Lori Saitz: And so.
• 27:22
  Amy Baker: It was that actually like that realization, that moment that when later my freedom was taken away, I was like.
• 27:28
  Lori Saitz: Hmm.
• 27:29
  Amy Baker: Because I decided I want that.
• 27:31
  Lori Saitz: Yes.
• 27:32
  Amy Baker: Yeah. Integration. Totally.
• 27:34
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. And I'm. About to ask you another question, because I have notes from that I took from when we talked in our pre-show conversation. And you mentioned something about intuition versus instinct.
• 27:50
  Amy Baker: Yeah. So I've learned an amazing framework to understand human behavior and life in general. And essentially our minds either judge something as good or bad, like every circumstance is totally neutral. Yes. Until we create a story or put a judgment on it. And so if we're looking up, we'll use a person. So say I'm looking up to someone and kind of putting them on a pedestal, then I'm going to have an impulse towards that. That's where we have addiction, where that's where we have fantasizing.
• 28:25
  Lori Saitz: And.
• 28:27
  Amy Baker: Or or making ourselves small in relation to someone else. If I look down on someone and judge them, I'm going to have an instinctive way. It's actually survival mechanism. Like, Oh, that's bad. You know, they're toxic or they're whatever. And true integration is seen that we own all the traits. That we either look up to or we look down at. And and so if we're instinctively moving away from something, we know that there's an imbalance. If we're being impulsive, like we feel like we're not in control of this impulse towards someone or something, we're not integrated. And when we can balance the perception and own all the traits in. That we see in others. It's intuition. We actually balancing the perception in our mind. We balance the charges in our mind and then we drop into the heart. And that's where intuition is, right? So that's that's I love that. If I'm impulsive or instinct, instinctive, like gut instinct is not the same as intuition.
• 29:41
  Lori Saitz: It's not. That's interesting, because those terms are often used interchangeably. Yeah.
• 29:49
  Amy Baker: Yeah, in, in this framework, I mean, everyone has their own definition of what instinct is, but if I have a if I have a gut instinct away from something. That's if if it's if it's taught her away. In that sense, it's not from a balanced perspective. And I need to understand my thoughts around that. But if it's a knowing, I think some people call a knowing a gut instinct. Yeah, that that to me is intuition.
• 30:14
  Lori Saitz: So in your definition of the gut instinct that we want to move away from something, it's more of a like an animalistic. I mean, we talk about animals having instincts.
• 30:25
  Amy Baker: Yeah. Yeah. It's actually we're actually in the back brain at that point, right?
• 30:31
  Lori Saitz: Like on people.
• 30:33
  Amy Baker: Yeah. Yeah. And so if we're judging someone positive or negative or a circumstance positive or negative, then we're not in our intuitive state because we're being ruled by the amygdala and by our emotions, and we're reactive versus responsive.
• 30:51
  Lori Saitz: Yes, that and that. Right. There is another reason why it's so important to get allow yourself the space to get quiet and to meditate or to do something meditative. So that you can get in touch with that inner voice and totally when you practice meditation regularly, you are much more able to respond instead of react.
• 31:18
  Amy Baker: Right, Because you're fostering your.
• 31:19
  Lori Saitz: Observer.
• 31:21
  Amy Baker: I kind of put the observer. The observer like you observing yourself. Going. Or wait, that was that was impulsive or that was, you know. Yeah, I. That was from out of out of fear, out of judgment or.
• 31:37
  Lori Saitz: Right. Not from your true your true soul. Mm hmm. Yeah. Very cool.
• 31:44
  Amy Baker: Our higher self.
• 31:45
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. Oh, my gosh. This. I feel like there is so much value in this conversation that we just had that this. Yes. Listeners should go back and listen to it again a second time because there's so much here. Before we go, though, what is your song that you listen to when you need an extra boost of energy? What's your hype song?
• 32:07
  Amy Baker: So I, I usually don't have those. But I love your question because I just became obsessed with Morgan Saint Jean. Do it like a girl.
• 32:15
  Lori Saitz: Okay.
• 32:16
  Amy Baker: And it's a very empowering. I feel it's an empowering song for women because it names a lot of things that we tend to shove under the rug and say, Oh, we're fine with that. And she's like, I'm not fine with that. I'm going to call this out. And yeah, and she has videos of people running on a treadmill in heels and women running 19 miles an hour on a treadmill. She's like, Run like a girl.
• 32:42
  Lori Saitz: Mm hmm. Yeah. Let me.
• 32:44
  Amy Baker: Show you how we do.
• 32:45
  Lori Saitz: It. I love it. I love it. All right. I'll put a link to that in the show notes. And then finally, if people want to continue the conversation with you. Aw, man, I did it again. If people would like to continue the conversation with you. How can they do that?
• 33:03
  Amy Baker: I'm on social media as Amy Baker everywhere.
• 33:07
  Lori Saitz: Okay.
• 33:08
  Amy Baker: I would say go to my link tree and schedule a free call with me, a half hour call, and we can discuss what next steps you would like in your life you would love in your life, which your blocks are. Maybe. And then I can tailor a program. And also I would love to if we can I have a guide. Six steps to a free ten day retreat. I'd be. I'd love to share with people. Oh, cool. If that's possible.
• 33:34
  Lori Saitz: Absolutely.
• 33:34
  Amy Baker: You can either ask me for that or we can find a way to offer that.
• 33:38
  Lori Saitz: So is there a link we can put again in the show notes?
• 33:41
  Amy Baker: I'll figure that.
• 33:42
  Lori Saitz: Out. Okay. Just reach out to Dr. Amy and ask her for the guide. Yeah. And there you go. Set up a conversation with her because she is just such a cool person, and I'm so honored to have had this conversation. Thank you for joining me today on Fine is a four letter word. You're very.
• 33:59
  Amy Baker: Welcome. And thank you for the opportunity.
• 34:01
  Lori Saitz: I appreciate it. I never heard Doctor Amy's Hype song before. I love introductions to music that's new to me. There's a link in the show notes if you'd like to go listen to it. Here are the key takeaways from this one. Number one, perfectionism seems like a good thing until it stops working for you. Understand that your feelings of worth and validation can't be contingent on how others perceive your work. Number two, soul filling activities and self care can only take you so far when key parts of your life, like your career, are out of alignment with your core values, all you're doing is temporarily patching the leak, not addressing the problem itself. Number three, courage is not the absence of fear. It's taking action. Even though you're afraid, that can take time to build up. But it's essential to transforming your life. Number four Transitions in life take time. It seems counterintuitive. However, the more you slow down, the faster you can move through those phases. Number five, intuition and instinct are not the same thing. Every circumstance is neutral, but our minds judge everything and tell a story about it. That internal sense of knowing. That's where our intuition comes from.