Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 195. Chrissy King, Writer, Fitness Coach & Creator of The Body Liberation Project

Transcript

195. Chrissy King, Writer, Fitness Coach & Creator of The Body Liberation Project · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: At the end of our lives. The thing that people
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: are going to say about us or is not like
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I'll remember the summer of two thousand. You have those
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: best apps and the best body like people are gonna
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: remember the experiences we had together, the times we laugh,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the memories that we cherished, and that's what really is
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: important in life.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily A body here coming to you from
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  Speaker 2: the Age Studio. You are listening to episode one ninety
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  Speaker 2: five of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I connect
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  Speaker 2: with everyone from your favorite athletes to top experts and
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: industry CEOs about their highest highs, toughest moments, and everything
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: in between. We all go through hurdles in life, and
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: my goal through these discussions is to empower you to
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  Speaker 2: better navigate yours and move with intention so that you
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  Speaker 2: can stride towards your own big potential and of course
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: have some fun along the way.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Today I am chatting with Chrissy King.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: She's a writer, speaker, and educator with the passions of
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: creating a diverse and inclusive wellness industry. She's also the
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: creator of the Body Liberation Project, through which she empowers
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: individuals to stop shrinking and start taking up space. What
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: I love about this conversation with Chrissy is that I
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: could really relate to her. You know, we both got
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: into health and wellness because we were hoping to lose weight,
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: but in that journey found so many more benefits from
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: taking care of our bodies. In today's episode, she talks
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: to me about that journey and how that shift happened,
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: finding love and powerlifting, competing on a national level, and
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: shifting the conversation in her head towards body positivity and
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: what that looks like for her in practice. She talks
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: openly about her breaking point, her hurdle moment that affirmed
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: there is so much more to life than just being small,
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: and that being small doesn't guarantee you happiness.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: And she also talks to.
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  Speaker 2: Me about the diversity and inclusion work that she's been
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  Speaker 2: doing in the wellness industry and how a business coach
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: helped her find her voice and home in ongrowing her brand.
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  Speaker 3: I love the whole vibe of this.
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  Speaker 2: I think that there's a lot of really great actionable
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: tips ranging from self compassion to entrepreneurship, and I really
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: really adore Chrissy's desire to genuinely empower others from all
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  Speaker 2: backgrounds to be celebrated and to feel seen. I'm going
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: to keep this intro this week short and sweet. Make
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: sure you're following along with Hurdle Over at Hurdle Podcast
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: and I am over at emily A Badi. Also, wait,
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: oh my goodness, how dare I not acknowledge this? It's Monday,
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: February fourteenth, which means it is Valantine's say happy love day, y'all.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I remember that, whether you are single, whether you are attached,
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: it starts with you.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: With that, let's get to hurdling today.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: I am sitting down with Chrissy King. How are you
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: doing today? Chrissy?
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: I am so great.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: How are you?
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: I'm so good? You know.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I'm like, we were just talking about fresh beginnings where
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: at the end of January right now, But I feel
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: as though I am in this place and I'd love
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: to hear what place you're in where I'm like, Okay,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: I'm here having some grace with myself and I'm just
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: ready to like get really honest about where I'm at
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: and where I'm going.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: I totally agree. I mean to be honest. I'm not
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: a big New Year's resolutions type person in general, but
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: right now, I feel like I'm in the midst of
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: like some big projects, and so I didn't even like
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I had the capacity to think about what the next
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: year is. I'm like, I'm just in it right now,
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: and when I get out of this season, we'll figure
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: out what's next then.
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  Speaker 3: So I totally relate, Yeah, do.
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  Speaker 2: The best you can with what you have focus on
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: right this, I feel that, well, why don't you kick
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: us off today and tell me a little bit about
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: your journey. You know how you got invested truly in
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: this wellness space. Absolutely, so I got into the wellness
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: into fitness specifically, I think away most people or a
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: lot of people get into it. I just wanted to
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: lose weight. I remember I hired a trainer and I
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: was like, I have one goal, make me skinny.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: That is all that I care about. And so I
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  Speaker 1: remember that first session with my coach. It was like
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: a string training. I was using like dumbbells and like
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: lots of body weight stuff, but all that felt very
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: like unfamiliar to me, and I remember it being like
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: the hardest thirty minutes of my life, and I was like,
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  Speaker 1: I'm never doing this again. But I signed up for package.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: So I was like, Okay, I have to keep going now.
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  Speaker 1: And so I was working out with her for a
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  Speaker 1: couple of months and then like a little bit, by
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: a little bit, I started to notice that my body
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: was like able to do things I couldn't do before
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  Speaker 1: with a little bit more ease as torturous, and so
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: slowly I really started falling in love with strength training.
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  Speaker 1: And then through a whole series of events, I ended
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  Speaker 1: up training at this small strength and conditioning gym and
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  Speaker 1: I remember walking in there the first day and I
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: saw these women in the gym and they were like
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: benching and squatting and like deadlifting, and I was like,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: oh my god, that's so cool. I've never seen women
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: do that. But my trainer, she still didn't train me
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: that way, so I was just always kind of watching.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: She eventually stops training. So I end up at the gym,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: the same gym, and I'm doing like boot camp type classes,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: and for some reason, the owner was like, hey, you
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  Speaker 1: should try out this, you know, powerlifting thing with these barbells,
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't know what I'm doing.
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  Speaker 1: He's like, i'll teach you, I'll show you. And so
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  Speaker 1: for whatever reason, I have no idea why to this day,
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: he just decided to show me. I didn't pay him
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: for like training sessions or anything, and he taught me
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  Speaker 1: how to powerlift. And it was honestly, like as cheesy
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: as it sounds, it was like love at first lift.
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  Speaker 1: I just fell in love with powerlifting and I started
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  Speaker 1: competing and you know, at a national level, and it
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: was so great. And then through that journey, I really
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: learned that, for one, my body is capable of so
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: much more than I thought. And then secondly, I realized that, like,
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  Speaker 1: my body is more than just what it looks like.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: It's like also so cool what my body can do.
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  Speaker 1: And that inspired me to become a trainer, and I
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  Speaker 1: wanted other women particular to like feel the transformative power
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  Speaker 1: of strength training and how that those skill sets that
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  Speaker 1: I learned in the gym really transferred into other areas
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  Speaker 1: of my life. And so I became a coach and
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  Speaker 1: a trainer. And then that's kind of like how I
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  Speaker 1: got into the wellness space.
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  Speaker 2: Let's double click really quick on you said you took
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  Speaker 2: that to a national level, So what did that look
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  Speaker 2: like for you?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, So I remember my first powerlifting competition. I have
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: been training for a couple of years. At this point,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: I had like moved to a different gym, and like
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  Speaker 1: I knew I was strong, but like when you're in
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  Speaker 1: a space with like so many really strong people, like
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  Speaker 1: I'm like I'm strong, I'm not that strong. And so
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  Speaker 1: I remember my first meet. I I remember all my numbers,
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  Speaker 1: but I remember I deadlifted like three hundred and thirty
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  Speaker 1: five pounds and and I missed the lift that was
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: like my third lift. I tried to lift like three
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  Speaker 1: fifty for example, and I missed it. And because I
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: had no perspective at that time, I was so devastated.
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  Speaker 1: I was like crying at the meat. I was like
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  Speaker 1: I failed. It did such a bad job. I came
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  Speaker 1: like second place at the meat and I kept competing. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: And I remember one year, maybe like two or three
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  Speaker 1: years into competing, I was listed in the top twenty
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  Speaker 1: like across the country in powerlifting. And it was just
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: really cool because when I joined the gym, I kid
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  Speaker 1: you not, I couldn't do a body weight push up right,
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  Speaker 1: like I could barely do a walking lunch. And my
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: narrative growing up was always I was a weak person,
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  Speaker 1: like physically and I was like, Oh, that's cool, that's okay,
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  Speaker 1: Like some people weeks, some people are strong. It was
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: like the joke in my family. And so to see
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: that your body is capable of doing these amazing things
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: that I thought I could never do really helped me
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  Speaker 1: realize like, Okay, so if that narrative wasn't true, then
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  Speaker 1: I'm just a weak person. What other things in my
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: life aren't true? And so I really creditlifting and strength
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: training to like changing the trajectory of my life because
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: when I got into strength training, I was working in
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: a corporate job. I was working for the Department of
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Veterans Affairs, doing really well. I was in an upper
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: management position, but wasn't happy in that role at all actually,
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  Speaker 1: And so through training, I've just like completely changed the
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: trajectory of my career. And I do really credit all
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: of it, just to coming into the gym and start training.
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  Speaker 2: Where do you think that narrative came from that you
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: were a weak person.
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  Speaker 1: I think it was just like a joke in my family,
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  Speaker 1: Like they would be like, oh, don't ask her to help,
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  Speaker 1: she's like.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: A weakling, And I was like, yeah, it's okay, I
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: am a weakling.
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  Speaker 1: It's no big deal. Like I wasn't physically strong. I
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: had never like worked out as a child. I wasn't
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: like athletic. I was more into like reading and writing
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: and stuff like that. So I wasn't like a very
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: athletic and I didn't use my physical strength in any way,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: shape or form. So it was just like the joke
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: in my family. I was the weekly and I was like, yeah,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: it's cool, it's okay.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Also, I think that a lot of people approached traditional
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: strength training and feel a little bit intimidated, mostly because
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: they don't have perhaps the foundations and they're not exactly
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: sure how to get into it without quote unquote looking
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: a certain way.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: For you, what made you open to it do you.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Think do you think it was just the fact that
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: someone was there to be like, hey, I think this
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: thing is something that you could be really good at,
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: or do you think that there was something inside of
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: you that was like I'm really looking for a new challenge,
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Like what was the thing that really opened that door
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: for you?
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: So when I originally joined the gym, because I was
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: never a person who would go to the gym, I
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: joined the gym because my younger sister had joined and
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: she told me she joined the gym, and I was like,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: what are you talking about. We don't work out, Like
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: what do you what do you mean you joined the gym?
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: And so I was like, well, if you're gonna work out,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna work out. So that's why initially I even
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: joined the gym. And that first string training session I
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: had again, it was because my sister had hired a trainer,
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: and so I was like, okay, well I'm going to
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: try a trainer. And I remember telling my trainer like
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: I wasn't interested in strength training or lifting weights, and
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: she was like, but you said you wanted to be skinny,
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: and I was like I do, and she's like, well,
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: look at my body and this is what I do,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: which now I know doesn't necessarily mean that that's the case.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: That doesn't always coreling, but I had.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: No idea I was talking about at that time, and
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, well, if I'm going to look
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: like you like, sign me up, even if it's going
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: to be torture, I'm down. And then by the time
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I made it to that other gym where I saw people,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: you know, deadlifting and benching and squatting, I had been
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: training enough to realize that, like I kind of liked
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: it a little bit, right, Like it was hard, but
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: I could see my body progressing and getting stronger, and
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I like that feeling.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Talk about an evolution right about like where fitness has
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: come from and where it's going. I mean, obviously we're
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: going to get into more of some of the work
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: that you do now in the conversations that.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: You're having now.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: But it is bizarre when you take a step back
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: and think about the things that we used to be
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: preached when we walked through any door of any big
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: box gym.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, I think from where I started to worry I
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: am now is wildly different and even the things that
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I thought back then are so different now, which I
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: think is so important that we talk about though, because
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: we are all allowed to change our minds along the
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: way and to have new reads of revelations and to
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: realize like, oh maybe that thing I thought before wasn't
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: actually true, and we're allowed to evolve, like that's a
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: part of our journey.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: You said you walked in with this goal to get
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: quote unquote skinny. Did you realize along your journey, like
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: were you achieving that goal? Did your goals and priorities
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: just completely shift.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: What had happened for you during that time?
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so so much happened during that time.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: So even when I started powerlifting, you know, I was
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: starting to think about my body differently. I was still
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: very much and had this thought process of wanting to
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: be in a smaller body. And I did have what
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: people would call like a transformation so to speak, and
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: lost a lot of weight. My body looked really different,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: But for me, what was happening is like the stronger
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: I got and the leaner I got, I realized I
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: still was never really getting happier with the way my
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: body looked like there would always be something else. I'd
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: be like, oh, I need to lose a few more
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: pounds or I need to change this part of my body.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: And it was like I was never satisfied. And I
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: remember being the leanis I've ever been in life and
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: literally feeling so obsessed with my body and wanting it
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: to be smaller. Still, and I was in this place
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: where people would, you know, I looked noticeably fit by
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: like mainstream standards, right, and so people would constantly be like,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: oh my god, you look so great, and like you
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: like you look amazing, and I didn't feel good about
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: how I looked. I was really miserable and I had
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: and I was so obsessed with food as well. I
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: was obsessed with everything that I ate, and I was
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: obsessed with working out, and so my family knew that
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: if they asked me to do something that was going
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: to interfere with my workout, the answer was always going
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: to be no. And I was tracking macros at the time,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: and I was very much doing it under the guise
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: of like health, but it was really like I was
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: literally obsessed with controlling my body and I counted every
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: single marshal of food that went into my body. And
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: so even when I was like in this ideal body
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: like I was, I felt like a prisoner in my
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: own body because I couldn't enjoy life.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: Really.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to go out with friends because I
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to control everything that I ate. And
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: I had like my rock bottom moment, I call it.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: I was married at the time, and I had like
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: a weekend trip with my in laws, which is like
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: my worst nightmare at that time, because I'm like, how
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: am I going to control my food for the entire weekend?
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: And so that weekend, I packed like so many meals
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: to bring with me, and we were at like a
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: water park, and we like took a lunch break and
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: we went to this restaurant and I stayed in the
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: car because I had like this sad meal that was
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: in a tepeword container that had been like in the
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: car all day and I was going to eat that.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: And so my partner at the time, he was super
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: gracious and generous, and so he told his family that
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: I wasn't coming inside because like I brought my own
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: meal and I wanted to be healthy, and they were
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: so nice. They asked a restaurant if I could bring
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: my own food in, and the restaurant obliged. And I
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: just remember sitting there with this like really sad meal
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: and like watching everybody order and enjoy what they wanted
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: and feeling so miserable in that moment. And I realized then,
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: like I could literally spend the rest of my life
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: feeling this way, or I could address my issues with
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: body image because I wasn't really happy at all.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, man, I mean this is a story that
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: I can surely, surely relate to when I think of
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: my smallest moments I am like coming out of the
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: ashes of like despair and sadness in some of like
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: the worst relationships of my life. And I too was
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: like trying to control these things. Was everything else felt
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: just so out of control. And I think distinctly I
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: remember just one person voicing concern and everyone else it
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: was the same thing that you are talking about here,
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: people looking at you and being like you.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: Look so great? What have you been doing?
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: Like asking all these questions, and the answer they want
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: isn't the answer that like I felt like I needed
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: to scream from the rooftops. It's like, oh what I've
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: been doing is I am e fing miserable? Here, I
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: am e fing miserable, And this is the only thing
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: that I feel like I have any control over, and
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: like I cannot live my life like this.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: But that's not what you're looking for. That's not what
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: you want to hear.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: That's like you want like this super secret sauce so
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: that you too can like could like be whatever it
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: is that we think that we're supposed to quote unquote be.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: And that's bs. Yeah, it's called misery. That's like, that's
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: why I look at this. It's misery. It's sadness. And
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: I also that's one of the things I talk about now.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I think it's so important that we really be cognizant
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: of not commenting on people's bodies because we really don't
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: know what's going on with people, right, And so we
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: have been like so ingrained to look at a person
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: in a smaller body and be like, oh my god,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: you look great, and you look this and that, without
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: knowing anything about what's actually happening with that person. It
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: could be suffering from chronic illness, they could have an
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: eating disorder, they could be depressed, right, Like, so many
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: things could be happening, and here we are congratulating them
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: on being in a smaller body without knowing what's actually happening.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: So you have this rock bottom moment, what we call
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: here on the show a hurdle moment. How do you
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: pull yourself together?
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: It was hot, actually, So, I mean I remember that weekend.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: The first thing I was like, Okay, I have to
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: stop tracking everything I eat. It's like the first thing
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: for me. However, when you've been tracking food for a
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: very long time, you know what you're eating, right, And
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: so I did stop intentionally tracking, but and I started
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: like allowing myself things that felt small at the time, like,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: for example, putting cream in my coffee, right, which I
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: would never do because I'm like, that's just extra calories
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: that you don't need. So even though I was still
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: being super mindful of what I was eating, I started
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: adding in these little things and I'm like, Okay, well
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: that wasn't that big of a deal. I'm fine, And
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: just a little by little, I started to trust myself
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: more with food, because I think what happens for a
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: lot of us is that we lose trust with ourselves
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: because we become so dependent on what other people are
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: telling us, or so dependent on tracking and like exercising
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: a certain amount of time, and so really just leaning
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: into trusting myself again, and instead of working out seven
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: days a week, I was like, okay, let's work out
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: six days a week, and you know, and slowly, over
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: time I was able to really get back into a
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: better place with food and exercise. And then also through
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: that time, I really started to think about my relationship
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: with my body and body image and where my worth
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: was coming from, and you know, and how did I
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: value myself And so really having those hard conversations and
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: you pointed to something already that's very true, is that
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I think for a lot of people, when we are
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: so focused on our bodies and trying to shrink them
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: and maintain it really is because other things feel out
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: of control in our lives, and oftentimes it's easier to
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: focus on our bodies than to address those issues head on.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: And so I really started having to address a lot
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: of things in my life that I wasn't paying attention
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: to or looking at, because they were really the bigger issue,
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: right and I was focusing at all on my body
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: and food and all that.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Were you speaking with anyone at this time about working
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: on your body image and that inner dialogue?
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: I actually wasn't. I mean I should have been, but
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: I actually didn't start therapy until like a couple of
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: years ago. Way too late, by the way, But no,
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: I wasn't. But I did, you know, I started reading books.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: One of the first books I read about body image
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: is The Body is Non Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: And so I started doing that. I really started delving
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: into what at that time I guess I would consider
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: the body positivity space, and just starting to think about
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: how I can think about my body differently.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Were there any specific exercises or like important conversations maybe
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: that you made a point to have with yourself that
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: like you really reflect back on those moments and you
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: were like, Wow, this was a really important component to
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: that particular journey.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: That's a good question. Let me think about that. I
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: think one thing that I always reminded myself of during
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: that time, and I still remind myself of when I
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: feel myself like having bad body image days or thinking
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: about maybe I should do this or maybe I should
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: do that, is I always shold to remind myself of
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: how truly miserable I was in that place and how
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: unhappy I really was, Because I think it's really easy
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: to like look back at pictures of yourself right when
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: you felt like you had your quote unquote best body
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: and be like, oh man, I really wish I looked
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: like that again, or grieving your old self, right, And
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: when I go back, I always remember how really truly
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: sad and miserable was at that time, and that's not
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: a place that I want to go back to.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, I can totally relate to that.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's why journaling is just so important
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: in general, I don't think that I have an especially
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: good memory. So I feel as though as I've gotten older,
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: I've made it even more of a priority to not
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: just like write down events as they happen, but like
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: get really specific about some details about what was really
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: happening and where my mindset was and how I felt,
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: because that journaling practice can really help me go back
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: specifically to that time. Like, yes, I do recognize again
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: with the photos it you can see a photo, but
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: if you don't really like take the moment to reflect
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: on what's happening there, then you can start to tell
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: yourself even more of these stories that actually, in the
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: long haul, as we're talking about body image in this instance,
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: can really be detrimental absolutely.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: And it's so you're right, like, it's so important to
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: like write down how you're actually feeling in that moment,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: because I've went back and read old journals, and I've
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: read old journaltries that made me cry. I was like,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: oh my god, that was so sad that that's what
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: I was feeling at that time, And so it is
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: important to remember how we're really feeling and how we
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: want to feel in our lives going forward. And one
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: thing I always recognize about body image is that being
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: in a smaller body did not make me feel like
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: I was living a fully nourished present life. I felt
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: like I was missing out and experiences because I was
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: always stressed about what I looked like or what other
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: people were thinking about my body. I wasn't really enjoying
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: those moments. And I just always remind myself and other
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: people that life is super short. At the end of
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: our lives, the thing that people are going to say
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: about us or is not like, oh, remember the summer
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: of two thousand, you have those best apps and the
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: best body, Like, people are going to remember the experiences
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: we had together, the times we laughed, the memories that
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: we cherished, and that's what really is important in life.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, wow, so profound.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: So for you as you start to maybe get more
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: comfortable with your body and shift some of the stories
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: and the way that you have been behaving, what else
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: starts to happen for you during this time?
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: So I had already started coaching and training on the
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: side while I was already working at my job, and
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: so like, actually, like a little bit, probably a year
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: or two after, I was really like in a much
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: better place with my body and feeling much better. I
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: quit my job, my corporate job, to do my like
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: side hustle full time, and again at that time, it
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: was very much focused on training clients and strength training,
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: which you know, I love and I still do love.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: But the thing that I always wanted to do when
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: I was a kid, as I always said, I was
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: going to be a writer. And I told you, I
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: spent a lot of my time as a child like
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: reading books and writing. And so when I was working
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: on my business, I'd hired this business coach. It was
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: helping me, like with my online business, and I was
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: training in person. And one thing that my coach always
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: said is like, you need to have a blog. And
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I was like, well, cool, I don't really have anything
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: to write about, but I'm gonna write. And so I
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: started writing again on my own personal blog. And at
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: first I was just writing about things that felt very
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: like the things you should talk about in fitness, you know,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: like cool workouts and like all these type of things.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: But I had this blog that I had written, and
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: I was really scared to post about it because it
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: seemed very controversial at the times. It was probably back
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: in twenty sixteen and my coach or twenty seventeen, probably
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: my coach was like, you need to post that blog.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: And so the blog was entitled It's Fitness Only for
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: thin white women, and it was talking about the lack
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: of diversity, inclusion and fitness, which now is a conversation
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: that happens all the time, but like in twenty sixteen,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: twenty seventeen, that really was not the conversation happening. And
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: so I remember being so terrified to write this article
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: posted on my own blog, I should say, And to
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: be clear, there was like not very many people reading
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: my stories, so it wasn't like it was like this huge,
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: you know thing. But anyways, I remember posting it, and
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: I posted it at a day where I couldn't be
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: on my computer for a while, or I just think
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: I was traveling, and so I was like, I'm going
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: to post it. I'm gonna be scared, I'm gonna run away.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: And then I remember four hours later, I went back
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: to the internet and it was like it was the
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: first time people were actually like reading my blog and
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: sharing it, like people were sharing it all over the internet.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, people read this and
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: they don't hate me and they're sharing it. And so
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: it was a really important moment for me because it
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: was really a reminder that, like, I don't need to
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: be scared to say things that are unpopular. I need
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: to say the things that really are what I want
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: to talk about instead of trying to say the things
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: I think I should say. And then, interestingly enough, after
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: writing that article, it was the first time that I actually, like, uh,
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: some mainstream publications reach out to me to start writing
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: for them, and so that's how I kind of got
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: into writing. And now my career is like ninety percent writing.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: But that's how it all started from just writing the
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: blog and posting that scary thing, and that really transitioned
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: the trajector in my career as well. So it's always
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: like one thing, I feel like, I do a hard thing,
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, Okay, I do that hard thing and
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I survived. I can do another hard thing.
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel that. I feel that.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: So firstly, tell us about a little bit more about
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: the blog itself that you were nervous to put up.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I remember it was like, again, I thought
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: about this blog for a couple of reasons. Number one,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: as I got into fitness and wanting to be a
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: coach and wanting to be really well do really well.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: I started going to a lot of like industry fitness events,
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: and the first thing I noticed was number one, there
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: weren't a lot of people of color in the room.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: But also the other thing I noticed is that there
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: was hardly any speakers that were people of color. And
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: so I was like, Wow, this kind of sucks. There's
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: like no representation for people who look like me here,
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: and that's like disheartening. And then number two, I was
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: specifically trying to create some graphics for something that I
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: was doing for my business, and I like googled women
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: doing push ups, and all the pictures that came up
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: at the time were white women doing push ups. I
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: couldn't find it with like I had probably awful form,
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: yes with very bad form, and they were dressed really
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: in loss of pink. But I couldn't find like hardly
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: any woman of color. And I was like, Wow, this
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: is so weird because I know that people of color
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: work out, I know the range gym spaces, and I
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: just feel like we're not being represented in the fitness industry,
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: which is like a lot of industries and then also
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: I also have a background went to college for social
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: well for injustice, so like talking about intersections of identity
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: and have always been like top of mind for me,
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: And so that's what I wanted to write this blog
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: about about how we need more representation in the fitness
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: industry because fitness is for everybody, like you know, regardless
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: of race, gender, sexual orientation, age ability status, like wellness
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: has so many benefits for everyone, and I think it's
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: so important for all of us to feel welcome in
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: fitness spaces and to see ourselves represented there.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: It's interesting because I think a lot about that idea
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: of fitness being for everybody, and a lot of the
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: conversations that have been circulating over the past year, specifically
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: when it comes to access right and perhaps be depending
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: on maybe even like geographic location. Like it's one thing
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: if you live in one area and you feel comfortable
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: going outside of your home and like going for a
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: run versus someone who may not have that same luxury.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: But then I bring it into the home right, and
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: I ask myself, what is it that's within my control
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: inside where I live? And that's where I think some
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: of that ownership comes into the equation right, because it's like,
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: if you're willing to make that first step.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: I would say, which is saying I want to do X.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: I recognize that maybe I feel this sort of way,
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: I want to feel this sort of way, and so
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: I'm going to make the change. Well, it starts there,
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: and then you ask yourself, what do I have to
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: do X? And so it is frustrating to have a
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: seat at the table where we're all talking about perhaps
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: the lack of access or the lack of diversity and
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: inclusion in the wellness space, but then also at times
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: feeling a little frustrated that there are some things that
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: I believe that we can do if we're willing to
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: take ownership over what it is that we have available.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: To us in those circumstances. I totally agree, and I think,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: but when I'm speaking to at least from the work
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: that I do within the fitness and wellness industry, it's
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: more about the industry as a whole in terms of
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: when we're talking about what inclusivity looks like in fitness spaces,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: right and ensuring that people feel welcome in those spaces.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: So for me, it's less about people's ability to access
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: it in their homes, because I totally agree with you, like,
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: there's so many ways that we can just access movement
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: in their homes that are very low. The barrier of
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: entry is very low, right, especially now, I think with
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: so many apps that are like body weight, you can
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: do body weight workout. There's so many things that we
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: can do in our homes. So I totally agree with
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: you on that. I think when I think of the
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: industry as a whole and inclusion, I think of like
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: walking into gyms and not having gender neutral changing facilities, right,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: And I think again for people who are cisgender, those
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: are things that perhaps we don't think about because it
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: doesn't affect us personally. Right, are walking into gyms and
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: they're not ADA compliant, so if you're a wheelchair user,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: you can't access them easily, or you can't get into
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: a bathroom if it's not EIGHTYA compliant. So things like that,
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: I think there we have so much space in the
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: fitness industry and the wellness industry to make changes. Thinking
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: about our language and using gender neutral language and respecting
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: people's pronouns. I think there's industry wide, we have so
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: many things we can do so that people feel comfortable
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: walking into fitness spaces and feeling like this is a
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: space that I belong in and that I'll feel comfortable
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: and safe here.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because it can be so intimidating as it is, right,
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: Like this could already be intimidating enough. Like the last
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: thing that anybody needs is to feel like immediately discriminated
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: against before they even walk through the double door.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, yes, and yes exactly, because it's super intimidating
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: to walk into a gem, right and like if again,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: if you're not familiar with like if you're new to
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: strength training or if you k new to just being
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: in the gym, and you walk in and it looks
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: like everybody knows what they're doing and they look like
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: they belong there, Like, it's intimidating for anybody, I feel
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: like to walk into a new space. And so of course,
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: like the last thing you need is these extra barriers
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: that feel like more prohibitive for you.
• 29:28
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• 32:17
  Speaker 2: percent off already amazing prices today. So you mentioned some
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: other outlets that started to reach out to you to
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: write for them. Talk to me about what that part
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: of your journey looks like, because that in itself can
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: also be super exciting but also mega intimidating as someone
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: who's also been.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: There, Yes, one hundred percent. So shortly after I written
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: it was either that orticole or I wrote another article. No,
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: it was another article I wrote like a little bit
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: later that a lot of people had circulated and it
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: was about intersection of racism and fitness spaces. And so
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: after I wrote that article, Self Magazine reached out to me,
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: and first of all, when I got the email, was
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: like more than intimidated. Wasn't the word. I was like,
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: did they send this to the right person? Total imposter's syndrome? Right,
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: imposter syndrome on a hundred right, And so I was like,
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: of course excited to write the article, and they wanted
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: me to kind of like expand on the things I
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: was talking about, and so I said, yes, of course,
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: but I was so intimidated writing that article and you know,
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: and talk about imposter syndrome. I think there's something to
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: be said about feeling like who am I to be
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: writing this? Who am I to be having a voice
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: in this space? And again, I think it's also because
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: like when I started writing about these things on my
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: own blog, it wasn't like I set out to like
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I'm going to like change the industry. I was really
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: just like, these are the things that are on my
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: mind and that's what I'm talking about. And so when
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: a larger publication like self was like, hey, come write
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: about this, I was like, oh, no, this is big.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, this is really scary. But it was actually
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: a really cool moment because it was for me. I
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: was like, I do think the things I'm talking about important,
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: and now I get to talk about them on a
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: larger scale and so after that, like I always, you know,
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: I always have like a really hard time when people
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: ask me how to get into writing, and I'm like,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: I'm probably the worst person for you to ask, because
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: it just was like I wrote that article and then
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: it just more publications reached out and it just was
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: like a it was a very simple process for me,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: and that I don't think is the case always for
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: people who are trying to get into freelance writing. And
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: so it happened very organically, and I and to be honest,
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: most things that I've been working on have happened very organically.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: And so my advice for people, which I don't know
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: is if it's always applicable, but my advice for people
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: is to like follow your passion, follow your truth, say
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: that things are important to you, and I just believe
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: that the right doors are going to open up for you.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: And of course you have to work hard, like I've
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: always worked hard at the things I've done, but I
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: think that I've always been really aligned with with what
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: was truly my passion and the things that I was
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: passionate about, and that's really just opened up doors for me.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: When did you leave your former job that you had
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: mentioned in August of twenty eighteen. Okay, so this is
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: all kind of happening around the same time, yes, yes, correct, Okay, okay, yeah,
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: because I think that someone who hears this that may
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: be interested in getting into freelance writing, They're going to
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: be like, well.
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: How much writing were you doing and were you training?
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: So talk a little bit about maybe that decision process,
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: right of kind of taking that leap of faith away
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: from a nine to five, which so many people you know,
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: they love and they do and that's cool, but to
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: each their own right, So how did you make the
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: decision that this was the right move for you?
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: Yes, I would love to talk about that. So when
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: I was at my nine to five when I started
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: coaching and training, from the point that I started coaching
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: and training to the point that I left my job
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: was about three years, and so for those three years
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: I was really hustling. So yeah, working my nine to
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: five training my clients, and I coming home working online business.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: And I do not recommend what I'm about to say
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: to anybody, but it is what I did. There was
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: probably a good year and a half where I was
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: sleeping only four to five hours a night. I was
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: really really hustling. And again I don't necessarily think that
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: was healthy. I will hope I never have to do
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: something like that again, but it is what I did.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: And so I hustled for a really long time. And
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: then when I decided to leave my job, I actually,
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: you know, my business was doing my side I call
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: it my side business, but it was really like it
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: was my business was doing really well. And also it
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: was still really scary to leave my job because it's
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: like that security of having a paycheck that you know
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: is steady and stable every week, right you have study vacation,
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: like it feels that level of security. But when I
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: was that business coach I was working with, she was like, Chrissy,
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: it is time for you to leave your job. Your
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: business is going to explode. When you have another forty
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: plus hours that you can you know, so free up
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: that you can put into your business all so you
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: can sleep more, your creative it's gonna be great. I
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: was like, I don't know, I really don't know if
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: this is the right move for me. And I was
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: also having a lot of really stressful situations at my
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: place of employment happening at that time, and I was
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: like getting sick physically ill, like breaking out in hives
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: at my workplace, and so it was like the perfect storm.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: All these things were happening, and I was like, it's
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: I have to make this decision.
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: Now I have to leave, and.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: It was really scary. I will never downplay that for people,
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: but I do know that I was also adeically prepared,
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: and so I always say to people, I would never
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: encourage someone to just quit their jobs and just go
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: for their dreams, right. I think we can do both
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: things at the same time for a while, until it
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: feels safe for us to be like, Okay, I have
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: something set up. I can trust that this is going
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: to at least pay my bills, and I'll be okay.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I hear that four to five hours of
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: sleep thing. I used to teach a spin class at
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: six am, which me and I meant I have to
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: let leave at five god fifteen am and like questionably
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: get on the subway and then go to the studio.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: And then after that was done, I would shower and
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: go to.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: My wiwork and I would work there until eight, and
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: then I would go home and I would eat too late,
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: and oh my god, just the things that we do
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: when we're younger to think about, you know, like, these
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: are the things that are going to get me to
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: where I want to be.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: These are the things that are going to get me
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: to where I want to be.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: And I believe exactly what you said, Like we all
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: go through these periods of like intense grind, hard work.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: And to anyone that's listening to this right now that
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: may feel as though they are in that period or
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: that season, know that it doesn't last forever. And that
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: doesn't mean the hard work stops. It just shifts in
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: a way that kind of grows with you. Right when
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: you step into your purpose and you figure out exactly
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: how it is that you can proceed in a way
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: that's actually sustainable and does fuel you and does make
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: you feel invigorated and excited to show up every day
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: and do it after getting more than.
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: Five hours of sleep. Yes, exactly, exactly exactly.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: And something else you've talked about a few times here
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: is your business coach. Can you talk to us about
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: how you found that business coach?
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: Yes, So again me, I'm a Sagittarius, by the way,
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: so I really just go with things.
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: And so you're like, I just need to disclaim this,
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: because I need to claim that before I tell you
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: what happened. So what happened is I was training in
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: person and I was like, well, I'd really like to
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: make this my full time job sometime, but I don't
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: really see how that was possible because I was making
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: six figures at my job and I was like, I
• 39:27
  Speaker 4: don't think I can replace that being a trainer. And
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: so I had just been like thinking, ruminating about this,
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: and I was on Instagram one day and someone I
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: followed had posted in their stories a picture with this
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: other woman. I was like, oh, I've never heard of
• 39:40
  Speaker 4: this woman before. So I clicked on her on the
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: story to go to this woman's page. I go to
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: her page and she has this post and I don't
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: even remember what the post said exactly, but it was
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: around like business and online training, and it just the
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: post super resonated with me. And so I commented on
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: the post, and then she commented back, and I was like, Wow,
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: that was so cool, because I felt like at that
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: time a lot of people with bigger pages didn't really
• 40:02
  Speaker 4: comment back.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: And so then I like looked at her page a
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: little bit more and I noticed that she was running
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: like a free five day like course or some sort,
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: and so I was like, oh, I want to sign up.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: So I signed up, but I had already missed day one,
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: and so I sent her a DM, which obviously lack
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: of boundaries, but at that time I didn't know any better.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: So I sent her a DM and I was like, hey,
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: I missed day one. Is there any way I can
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: get access to it? And she wroke back super quick
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: and she was like, yeah, what's your email. We'll get
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: it over to you. And I was like, wow, this
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: woman is so nice. And so anyways, it was a
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: five day free course, which now I know was just
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: like an introduction to like launch her her business training.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: And I did the five day course and then she
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: like she told us at the end, like how we
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: could join. I think it was like six thousand dollars.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: I was like, take my money, this is what I need.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: And that is the extent of the reason I had
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: never heard of this woman, did. I mean, in hindsight,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: she was like really great and she was like really
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: well known in the industry, but I didn't know who
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: she was.
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: I had never of her. But I'm like, I like it,
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: sign me up.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: Done, isn't it so interesting that there are so many
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: things now that are exactly like that, Like that is
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: a complete ecosystem business model for thousands and thousands and
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: thousands of entrepreneurs. It's like, I'm going to give you
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: this free thing, and then you're gonna like me and
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: you're gonna trust me, and then I'm going to sell
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: you the something that costs between three and six thousand
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: dollars and you're going to.
• 41:24
  Speaker 5: Be so excited about it. It is going to change
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: your life. You're going to be a whole new person
• 41:29
  Speaker 5: by the time that you're done with this, and you're
• 41:30
  Speaker 5: going to tell people, man, that's the best three to
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: six thousand dollars I ever spent. And then they're going
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: to get you more clients because they believe in everything
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: you just sold them.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: It's the whole It's a legit business model, it really is.
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: And that business coach is actually named Jill Coleman. I've
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: been talking about her this whole time, but that's her name,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: is Jill Coleman. She's a phenomenal business coach. I end
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: up working with her for almost three years and I
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: tell her all the time that the things that she
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: taught me. Those three years were so fundamental to where
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: I am now. That's only because of like the technical stuff,
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: but more because she also like gave me the confidence
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: right that I could do this, and so yeah, she's
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: she's phenomenal.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: And just for a little bit more background, not that
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: this is purposefully becoming like a you know, four minute advertisement,
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: but in that program, what were some of the stuff
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: or what were some of the things that you focused
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: on in that because I think when someone here is like, okay,
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: I got a business coach, Uh, it may make sense
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: if you think about it like in a one on
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: one sense, but when it comes to like a larger program,
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: I would just be curious as to what was like,
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: what was what what that included?
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I don't even know what kind of program
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: still was running now, but at that time, this was
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: a program that was like for people who were from
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: like zero to one year in business and so which
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: was me, right, And because I didn't have an online
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: business yet, and it was it specifically was geared towards
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: trainers and coaches who wanted to take their business online.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: So it was geared toward fitness professionals.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: Yes, okay, it was geared toward fitness professional and so
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: when I first worked with her, it was like very
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: in hindsight, I say, basic stuff, but like things I
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: didn't think about because I didn't have an online business.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: So it was like how to start an email list, right?
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: How to get a website? Like? How to what is
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: a funnel system?
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: Like why it was the importance of a blog, how
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: to do social media? Things that were very much like, oh, yeah,
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: I need an email list, Like duh, that would be
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: really helpful. How do I set that up? How do
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: I create content? What's a good way to create what's
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: a strategy? Like? So very tactical things is what I say.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: And then I said, like, I worked with her for
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: three years, but year three was way she had like
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: a mastermind at that time. It was a higher price point,
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: and I was into her mastermind. And that was very
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: much more like how are you in your own business
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: working towards these particular goals. She wasn't teaching us about
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: emails anymore. We knew how to do that now, right.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: It was like, where's your business going? What do you
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: need to strategically work on for yourself? And what's your
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: vision of where you're taking your business. And also year
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: one two, she like taught me how to launch a
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: do it yourself program. So I remember, like my first
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: program was called power Conditioning, which is still a really
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: great program by the way, And so I had done
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: all the programming. I did all the programming, and it
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: was like a lot as a PDF that people could
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: download and do for themselves. And I think I sold
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: it for forty seven dollars. And I remember that first
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: launch when I'd done that, I made like maybe ten
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: thousand dollars, and I was like, Wow, this is the
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: coolest thing in the whole world. Like I can make
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: a program, I can sell it online, people will buy it,
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: and I could sell it again. And so just like
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: things like that, she taught me how to do.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: Something that you are doing a lot lately, is a
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: lot of writing also over the last few years, maybe
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: more so than back in twenty eighteen, considering everything that's
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: been going on in our world, getting more and more
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: immersed in your diversity and inclusion work. I'd love to
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: ask you a little bit about I guess how things
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: have been for you being in this space over the
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: last two three years now, especially during the pandemic and
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: just talk to me a little bit about what the
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: last they years have been like for you being so
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: immersed in the diversity and inclusion space.
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: Absolutely so prior I would say, like pre George Floyd, right,
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: because that's why I think people within the wellness industry
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: really like started having these conversations more pre George Floyd.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: I was already hosting like webinars around diversity inclusion, sometimes
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: just on my own for people like virtually, but I
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: was speaking at universities occasionally, and so like I was
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: kind of doing this work already, and so then fast
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: forward to George Floyd. And I remember someone had reached
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: out to me shortly after George Floyd in the fitness
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: space and was like, hey, I remember you did these
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: workshops before, Like are they available for purchase? Like I
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: think we could really use them right now. And I
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: was decided to like revamp them and do a new
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: series of workshops, and I wanted one of them to
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: be specifically on anti racism, not just diversity inclusion, and
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: so I revamped those sometime in late June. I think,
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: thinking like a couple, you know, how hundred people would come,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: and like over a thousand people ended up showing up
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: for the workshops, and so yeah, I was really busy
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: during that time. And then because of that, because of
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: the workshops and because of the amount of people that
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: showed up, I started getting more requests from like private
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: companies to come do the training individually for them, yoga
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: studios and like larger companies like Google even And so
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: from like July of twenty twenty to I don't know
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: always say forever, I've just been really really busy with
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: DEI work in writing, and so that's been the majority
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: of the work I'm doing now. I do quite a
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: few trainings and workshops every month for companies and has
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: been really good because I think it's important that we're
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: having these conversations. Also very exhausting, excuse me, so very exhausting,
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: so to your point of like feeling like I need to,
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: you know, take some time. Definitely feeling like I'm in
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: that space right now where it's like I think I've
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: just been at a marathon speed for the last eighteen
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: to twenty months and just now starting to realize how
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: truly burned out I'm feeling, you know, because there's this
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: been non and so like I said, I'm working on
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: a book right now, or I didn't say that, but
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: I'm working on a book right now, and so once
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: that is due and I turned that first draft in,
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely taking a little bit of time off because
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: I just, yeah, I'm really burned out, and I think
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: I'm just starting to really see how the impact of
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: the last twenty months, because it's been really great to
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: be able to share my work in a bigger capacity.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: And also I think that I've downplayed the fact that
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: I was doing a lot of really important work during
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: a time that was very also traumatizing in a lot
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: of ways, and so just like, oh, yeah, I need
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: to take some time and process that because it was
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: a lot.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was definitely a lot, and to be
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: able to vocalize firstly, thank you for all the work
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: that you do, but to also be to be able
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: to vocalize like, yes, you know what.
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: I am feeling so overwhelmed right now.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: And that can be hard because you want to show up,
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: you want to help, but there's a difference between knowing
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: that your intention is positive and knowing that you want
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: to help and being like, really, really, I don't know,
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: Like if you can't show up and be your full
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: self and actually help to the capacity that you know
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: that you're capable of. And sometimes we do need to
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: have that hard conversation with ourselves and step back and
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: ask yourself, what is it that I need right now
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: so that I can come back with a full cup,
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: so that I can come back and give, you know,
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: one hundred and ten percent of myself to things. Because
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: it seems as though you and I share this in
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: common that we like to show up and bring everything
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: that we have to the table.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's true, and I feel like I've been showing
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: up for a really long time. And it's like also
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: just important to think of like how am I showing
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: up for myself?
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: And what is showing up for myself mean? And yeah,
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: like how am I adequately taking care of me? Because
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: if I'm not taking care of myself, like this work
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: won't be sustainable, right, I can't do it sustainably if
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: I'm burned out, if I'm exhaust I'm overwhelmed. And I
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: think also as a person who is in a lot
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: of ways used to being a high achiever, when you
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: have a lot of opportunities coming to you and you're like, yeah,
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: this is great, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this,
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: do this. It's all really amazing. But two things can
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: be true at the same time. Things can be really
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: awesome and you can also be overwhelmed. Right, both things
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: be true, and so yeah, I think it's really important
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: for all of us to remember when we need to downtime,
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: when we need to take a break, and to like
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: really pay attention to what we need personally as well.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: It's like those I don't know if mem is the
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: right word, but all of those like photos or posts
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: that you'll see that like depression can look like twenty
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: different things, and like one of the things is someone
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: like laughing that we all think is like the super
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: successful human but they are clearly despite being quote unquote
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: very successful, spread super thin and not taking any time
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: for themselves and feeling just like completely overwhelmed. And it's like, oh,
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: like maybe we all just need to take a step
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: back sometimes and be like, what's really happening here?
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, I could not agree more for sure, And I
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: think for me also, it's so important because you know,
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: the book I'm writing is entitled The Body Liberation Project,
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: and it's about body image and how do we truly
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: feel liberate in our bodies and even that word liberation
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: and freedom, right, And I'm thinking for myself, right, like,
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: especially in terms of being a black woman, Like black
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: liberation doesn't feel like me being exhausted all the time, right, Like,
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: that's not That's not what my ancestors had in mind
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: for me. So I'm like, Okay, that means it's time
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: for me to reevaluate how I'm living those values out
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: for myself.
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So how would you say or how would you
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: articulate that conversation is for yourself now versus twenty eighteen
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: when it comes to where you're at with your own body,
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: body acceptance, and perhaps those negative thoughts that used to
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: run rampant.
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah sure, So I think one thing I always talk
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: about im when to talk about body, when I'm talking
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: about body image and body liberation, is I think that
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: sometimes social media gives us this idea that one day
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: you arrive at like a place of like total peace
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: and happiness to their body and then you never have
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: another negative thought again. And that is so far from
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: the truth, right that that place does not exist. I
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: don't care what anybody says, it's not true. It's just
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: not it's not true. And I think what's so important
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: for us to remember is that a relationship with our
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: bodies are ever changing, right, and especially living within a
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: culture that is hyper focused on women's bodies in particular
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: and how they and how they look like, we're constantly
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: getting messages that tell us we're not enough, right, We're
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: constantly getting messages that tell us that we need to
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: do something different. And so, yes, we're constantly geting those messages.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: So of course we're going to feel trigger. We're gonna
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: have moments we're not feeling happy with our bodies. But
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: for me, what that has looked like is I can
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: flip that narrative faster than I used to be able
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: to write. So it's not that I never have those moments,
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: but then I can recognize really quickly that's not what
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: I believe to be true. And so that for me
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: has been the change that I can bring myself back
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: a lot sooner than I used to be able to
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: bring myself back. And also I can give myself a
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: lot more compassion than I used to be able to
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: give myself. If you wake up having a bad body
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: image day, it's okay, that's normal. Right, and if you're
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: feeling like not the best, how can I meet myself
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: with compassion in this moment instead of guilt or shame.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: Also too, if you're in a place where you're really
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: struggling with like perhaps understanding that like maybe your desire
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: for weight loss is really rooted in diet culture and
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: you're saying, but still I still want to lose weight
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: because I would feel better about myself, Like also having
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: compassion that these are thin privileged and these things that
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: exist in the world are very real. And so if
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: that's what you're feeling, like, that's okay, and that's totally normal.
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: There's no wayson to feel guilt or shame about that.
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: And I think my biggest thing for people is body autonomy.
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: Do what feels best for your body, and also question
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: the desire behind.
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: A question the desire behind it, because just like you know,
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: with money, I had someone on the show recently and
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: I talked a lot about you know, smart finances for
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: the new year, and when it comes to our financial health,
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: and it has so much of the same roots of
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: emotion as we get to when we talk about our
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: bodies and our weight. It's like there's so much emotion
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: tied sometimes for many. I mean, at least I can
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: speak for myself. I love this idea that body positivity.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: It doesn't mean that you're never going to have a
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: bad day. And I think that that's where the misconception
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: comes in, right. People hear that term and they're like,
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: can you just be like real with me, Like you
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: really mean to say, like you're a body positive person,
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: and like yes, And I think that's the important part,
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: like yes and dot dot dot.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think you know, I it was a
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: whole other conversation. Sometimes go too far into this, but
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: I think even the word body positivity has really like
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: been co opted and changed its meaning in so many ways.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: I think we really lost track of, like the original
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: source of what I was supposed to mean, because the
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: body positivity space was originally created by fat women and
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: black women as a space to celebrate themselves because they
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: didn't see themselves represented in mainstream, mainstream like platforms, or
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: didn't see themselves represented as beautiful in mainstream platforms. So
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: it's not so much about how do I feel in
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: my body every day? It's about can I respect and
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: appreciate and value my body regardless of what it looks like.
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: Can I show myself love and gratitude despite what people
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: try to say is wrong.
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: With my body?
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: But we've just like these terms. The more like popularized
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: they become, we lose the meaning of what it was
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: really about. But the reality is, yes, we all have
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: struggles with our body. We are never going to arrive
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: at a place where we're never going to feel negative
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: or have negative thoughts about our bodies. And we work
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: towards coming to a place of more gratitude, appreciation, and
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: love in the bodies that we have. And that is
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: a journey. It's a literal journey.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: You mentioned a few years quote unquote too late, although
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: I would argue that you know whenever you make this
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: decision for yourself, that it's the right time time to
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: finally make this decision for yourself. But starting to go
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: to therapy, can you talk a little bit about maybe
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: what you've learned by adding what I'll say, like this
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: person to your personal toolkit.
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: Yes, the reason really quickly. The reason I say that
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: I started a few years too late is which is
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: never too late? You're correct. In January twenty eighteen, my
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: dad unexpectedly passed away very tragically. Two weeks later, my
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: partner and I decided to separate. We had been married
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: for ten years, and August of that year, I moved
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: to New York from Wisconsin. Then the pandemic started, and
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: then George Floyd and then all the words. So it's
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: just like thing after thing after think everything. But anyways,
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: adding a therapist now has been so great because it's
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: really a place for me where I can process again
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: all of this. I always say, I know this word
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: trauma's overused, but really like process trauma or unhealed wounds
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: or things that I've just pushed to the side and
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: kept going. And it's a person who, you know, I
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: have a black therapists, which is really important to me
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: because I feel like, you know, I can she really
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: understands me in a way that I feel like other
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: therapists couldn't necessarily. And so it's just been a really
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: safe space for me to process feelings and to have
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: conversations and to like talk about things that I've really
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: pushed to the side for you know, a twenty plus
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: years sometimes and it's been such a beautiful and painful experience.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: And so I always say therapy is like therapy is
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: so great and also brings up a lot of things
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: that we haven't addressed. And so, I mean, my therapy
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: sessions involved tears like all the time.
• 56:32
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: I think it's been so great for me though, and
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: I'm so appreciative of the fact that I have the
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: privilege of being able to access therapy.
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: How did you find this woman in particular?
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I was actually asking a friend of mine.
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: I asked friends of mine who had like black therapists,
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: And there's one of my friends therapists has a practice,
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: and so she has like five or six therapists in
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: her practice. They're all black women, and so I went
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: on the website and I kind of read about them
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: and this person for whatever reason, I was like, oh,
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: I think this Like I really resonate with this person.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: And we had a couple of sessions and I was like, oh, yeah,
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: this is a therapist.
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: Now.
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: I had another therapist prior to this who was just
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: like was not a good fit for me at all.
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: And so I think that's the other thing with therapy.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: It's like, you know, you got to date therapists for
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: a little bit and find your right therapist that really
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: is a good fit for you.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think often we are like worried about
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: saying the wrong thing or like letting our therapists down.
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, you are paying
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: for a service, so you have to ask yourself, like,
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: if going to your therapist is going to be the
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: thing that gives you more anxiety than going to a
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: therapist may already give you, then that's one hundred percent problematic.
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, that's definitely very true. It's super hard, though, it's
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: super hard.
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: I feel as though I anyone and I've spoken with
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: that has a therapist, and I mean many many people
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: have a therapist.
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: I just started working with a life coach myself.
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: But many individuals on their es that I have found
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: to be successful when it comes to identifying a practitioner
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: that really works for them, oftentimes that person they've found
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: through a referral through a friend. And I would say
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: that when people ask me for their best tip on
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: like how to find the right person, I always say, like,
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: try to ask around and find a referral. And that
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: doesn't mean that you need to go to your friend's therapist,
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: your friend's life coach. It could just mean that that
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: person may have another recommendation of someone that's trusted within
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: their network that they can offer to.
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: You absolutely, because that's that's basically how I found mine.
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I feel like if my friend, if people
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: you know, are having a good experience with this person
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: or their practice, like maybe it's maybe there's someone that
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: we fit for you.
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: So I think that's yeah, really good advice. What excites
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: you right now?
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: What excites me is knowing that I'm going to take
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: some time off soon to really rest and recuperate in
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: a way that's really meaningful. But then other things that
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: excite me are just like, again, I'm super excited that
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: I have the opportunity to write this book right like
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: that has been a dream of mine for a while,
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: So that excites me. Simple things like making time for
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: myself to just like read a good fiction book, spending
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: time with like my really close friends that like bring
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: me so much joy. Those are the things I look
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: forward to right now on a day to day basis,
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: And that's always changing, you know, Like later in the year,
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: I'm going to travel some more and that's exciting. So
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: I think for me, the thing I'm trying to like
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: really get much better at is these things called micro
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: joys or it's like, what are these small moments of
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: joy every single day and finding meaning and things that are,
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: you know, seemingly small little things.
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: Would you say that the micro joys were something that
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: you focused on a lot after those back to back
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: to back traumatic events from last year.
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: Yes, and especially after the pandemic started, right, I think
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: you know, I talked about the events that happened in
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: twenty nineteen, and those things are really hard. But what
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: I know about myself is that I'm really good at
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: what's the word I'm looking for, I'm really good at
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: focusing my attention on other things, right. And so after
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: I have those dramatic events, I'm like, Oh, I'm gonna
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: move to New York, I'm going to travel. I was
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: like doing all these things right to really keep my
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: mind off of the things that were really hard at
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: that time. But then the pandemic hit and I was like, well,
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: I really can't do any of those things right now, right,
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: And so that really forced me to sit with some
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable feelings, but then also forced me to really focus
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: on the micro joys. What are these little things that
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: I can find joy and meaning in every day?
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: I love that I definitely.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: I keep a list next to my desk, and it's
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: not like earth shattering things, right, It's just literally small
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: items that I can do right now if I feel
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: as though my world is crumbling around me, that I
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: know can just make me like one percent better at
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: a time.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, And that's what we need, I think, like focusing
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: on those big things. But we can't do the big
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: things all the time, So it's like in the day
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: to day practically, what are these little things we can implement?
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I would love to get on a
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: flight and go to Italy like every other day.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 3: That sounds exactly. That's exactly what I need right exactly
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: what I need. Oh my gosh. Well, I'm so appreciative
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: for all of your time today.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: How I wind down the show is, I ask you
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: right now, you have an opportunity to give it yourself
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: a piece of advice. Let's talk about back to that
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: rock bottom moment looking back on it now, that hurdle
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: moment where you're just so besides yourself with how much
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: control you've taken over your body and just feeling dissatisfied
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: and happy with your life. Right now, you have an
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: opportunity to offer that woman a piece of advice.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: Looking back on it, now, what do you tell her?
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: I would tell her that she is inherently worthy because
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: she exists, that her body is the least interesting thing
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: about her, and that she has so much magic to
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: offer to this world, and none of it revolves around
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: what she looks like.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: None of it revolves around what she looks like. I
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: love it, Christy, So grateful for your time today. How
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: do the hurdlers follow along with you? How do they
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: keep up with you?
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: Give us all of the details.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: Well, first of all, Emily, thank you so much for
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: having me on. It's been a wonderful conversation, and you
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: can keep up with me. I'm most present on Instagram
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: and on Instagram it's I am Chrissy King. Of course,
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: my website is Chrissyking dot com. You can sign up
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: for my newsletter and I send out things there too.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: So amazing.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: I'm over at Emily Abadi and at Hurdle Podcast Another
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: Hurdle Conquered.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time.