Latest / Unscripted After 40 / Dance Battle Gone Wrong
Transcript
- 0:38SPEAKER_01: Man, I am out this week.
- 0:41SPEAKER_01: Like I say, summertime is coming, and I just watched Stomp the Yard.
- 0:46SPEAKER_01: And the reason why I watched it because last year I got caught up in a dance battle with this 10-year-old, maybe 10, 12-year-old, and unfortunately, I got served.
- 0:57SPEAKER_01: But don't worry, I'm gonna tell you the story, and I'm gonna tell you how I'm gonna make sure it don't happen this summer when cookout season comes.
- 1:04SPEAKER_01: Welcome to another episode of Unstripted After 40, the podcast.
- 1:10SPEAKER_01: And like I was saying earlier, I watched Stomp the Yard.
- 1:14SPEAKER_01: It came out in about 2007.
- 1:17SPEAKER_01: And it's this movie about, you know, these fraternities and they're stomping the yard.
- 1:22SPEAKER_01: They got these pretty much, it's like dance battles against each other, right?
- 1:25SPEAKER_01: And reason I'm watching this because as we all know, the summertime coming.
- 1:31SPEAKER_01: Cookouts are on the rise, the heat makes people do crazy things, and one of these crazy things that I'm gonna do out there because I still got it.
- 1:41SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna start challenging the young cats to dance battles, okay?
- 1:45SPEAKER_01: Because last year I got called or got trapped into a dance battle.
- 1:51SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna tell you why I say I got trapped into a dance battle.
- 1:54SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna back it up, back it up to last summer, okay?
- 1:59SPEAKER_01: Last summer I went to a cookout up in VA, okay?
- 2:04SPEAKER_01: And like I said, it was one of the friends' house cookout.
- 2:06SPEAKER_01: I, you know, I just went to get some chicken, some hot dog, and burgers.
- 2:10SPEAKER_01: The normal stuff you go get a cookout, and maybe a Coke or two, you know.
- 2:14SPEAKER_01: And this cat, like I said, as always, you know, the music comes on and do the line dances and stuff.
- 2:20SPEAKER_01: Everybody's sitting there, we're doing the cupid shuffle, right?
- 2:22SPEAKER_01: I know I do the cupid shuffle.
- 2:24SPEAKER_01: Then we then we sit there, you know, do the cuff it dance, you know, with Beyonce, and you go there and do the thing.
- 2:29SPEAKER_01: So the line dances, I I got it.
- 2:31SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm in the head because I still got the moves, you know.
- 2:33SPEAKER_01: I still got the moves, but then they start playing some 90s hip-hop music.
- 2:40SPEAKER_01: You know, the ones that get you crumped up in we get things, like um with a club at, and it start hitting like um, they're doing some TI, Outcast, and all the good hits, the golden hits, right?
- 2:52SPEAKER_01: But as they're playing the music and I'm eating my burger on the sideline, I'm watching, you know, the little kids I ate dancing, reminding myself, like, man, I remember when I was their age and I knew I could dance better than everybody else, right?
- 3:07SPEAKER_01: And I used to call adults out.
- 3:09SPEAKER_01: And I'm thinking myself, like, this not about to happen to me.
- 3:14SPEAKER_01: But what I am looking around, looking at all adults, I see this one kid, he's getting it.
- 3:21SPEAKER_01: And as he's getting it, he keeps looking at me, like looking me in my eyes.
- 3:26SPEAKER_01: Now, at first, I was saying, he's not looking at me.
- 3:30SPEAKER_01: I'm imagining things.
- 3:31SPEAKER_01: Because, like I said, when I was younger, I used to call out adults and dance battle them and school them, right?
- 3:37SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, you know what?
- 3:38SPEAKER_01: He's not looking at me because I'm that cat that used to do what he used to do.
- 3:43SPEAKER_01: And he's not about to get me because you know, as the adult I am, I knew this day was coming and I was gonna be ready, right?
- 3:51SPEAKER_01: I was gonna be ready.
- 3:52SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, I'm in shorts, I'm in a shirt, I like I'm pretty in shape.
- 3:57SPEAKER_01: He's not gonna call me out.
- 3:59SPEAKER_01: But as he kept dancing and doing his little moves and doing his handstand with his clap up in the air with his feet with clip feet, clap like that, I like, oh no, this cat might be looking at me.
- 4:10SPEAKER_01: So I might be imagining this.
- 4:12SPEAKER_01: I I am imagining this.
- 4:14SPEAKER_01: He he's not looking at me.
- 4:15SPEAKER_01: So I look to my right, I look to my left, and I realize he's not looking at them.
- 4:23SPEAKER_01: He is looking at me.
- 4:24SPEAKER_01: And to confirm that he was looking at me or that he was calling me out to get served, he came up to me and hit my chest.
- 4:36SPEAKER_01: Okay.
- 4:38SPEAKER_01: Y'all know when somebody touch you, okay, that is a call out and that is fighting words, okay?
- 4:46SPEAKER_01: And as the man I am, I have to defend my reputation.
- 4:50SPEAKER_01: I have to defend my honor, okay?
- 4:52SPEAKER_01: So at that point, I knew he was calling me out.
- 4:54SPEAKER_01: And then to confirm what after what he did, he was looking at me, he came to me, he flicked my chest, and he said, What's up, old man?
- 5:05SPEAKER_01: You ready?
- 5:06SPEAKER_01: I'm like, he is talking to me.
- 5:13SPEAKER_01: So I handed my plate to my partner to my right, and I gave it to him, and I brush myself off, and I say, DJ, hit it.
- 5:24SPEAKER_01: So the DJ started playing the song, right?
- 5:26SPEAKER_01: And look at it, I said, nah, you know, let's see what you got, little man.
- 5:30SPEAKER_01: Hey, when he started dancing and started doing his moves, it was at that point I knew I fucked up.
- 5:42SPEAKER_01: You know how you bait and switch somebody?
- 5:45SPEAKER_01: He was out there showing me that his his little fake moves, that he was just testing the water, trying to show people thing.
- 5:53SPEAKER_01: He would, he, he didn't even bring out his best stuff.
- 5:56SPEAKER_01: He was showing out the little small stuff that kind of get people to think that he can't dance.
- 6:01SPEAKER_01: So when they get out there, he can, you know, like he said, like he's about to do to me, serve me.
- 6:07SPEAKER_01: He's about to embarrass me.
- 6:09SPEAKER_01: And when he started dancing, that little kid had some goddamn dance moves on him.
- 6:15SPEAKER_01: You would have thought he'd been trained by Chris Brown, goddamn whole dance crew.
- 6:20SPEAKER_01: I mean, that cat was moving.
- 6:23SPEAKER_01: He did a like a three-flip in the sky and dropped down to a goddamn split.
- 6:29SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking to myself, I don't even think I could do a backward flip now.
- 6:33SPEAKER_01: I ain't did a backward flip in about freaking 10 to 15 years.
- 6:37SPEAKER_01: I can't even follow what he was doing.
- 6:40SPEAKER_01: And it was like, I don't know, it was like Chris Baum mixed with Michael Jackson, mixed with Neo.
- 6:48SPEAKER_01: He was just goddamn doing it out there.
- 6:50SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking to myself, this motherfucker done set me up, got me out here about to get embarrassed.
- 6:58SPEAKER_01: But now remind you now, I I could dance still.
- 7:01SPEAKER_01: I still got some moves in my head.
- 7:03SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm not gonna let him totally embarrass me in front of all these people.
- 7:08SPEAKER_01: But at this point, I let him go first.
- 7:11SPEAKER_01: And this cat is actually fucking good.
- 7:15SPEAKER_01: I mean, real fucking good.
- 7:16SPEAKER_01: And like I said, he was only about maybe 10 or 12.
- 7:19SPEAKER_01: But at this point, I like okay, I fucked up.
- 7:22SPEAKER_01: So as he watching, I'm sitting here with my arms fold, I'm bobbing my head, I'm looking at him, I'm like, okay, and the crowd.
- 7:28SPEAKER_01: Now, when this started, it was maybe about six of us around here watching these kids dance.
- 7:36SPEAKER_01: Now it's a square of people, and mine is like a cookout in the park.
- 7:42SPEAKER_01: So it was a lot of people at the park, maybe about 100 to 150.
- 7:47SPEAKER_01: At this point now, all 150 of these motherfuckers want to come now and see this kid dance when he was dancing the whole time and nobody was watching him dance.
- 7:58SPEAKER_01: But now that he done called me out to the dance floor, everybody in the goddamn mama's out there, okay?
- 8:05SPEAKER_01: And they done form a goddamn square.
- 8:07SPEAKER_01: I'm like, this motherfucker done set me up, okay?
- 8:12SPEAKER_01: So, and like I say, he was getting it.
- 8:15SPEAKER_01: So now he's getting it.
- 8:18SPEAKER_01: They know he challenged me, and now I have to get ready, and they done formed the goddamn box.
- 8:24SPEAKER_01: And you know, I backed up a little bit, and you know how you're trying to back up out the ring and get out of the situation?
- 8:30SPEAKER_01: Nah, they they they looking at me like, Jay, you got to get them now.
- 8:34SPEAKER_01: Jeff, don't let them do you like this.
- 8:36SPEAKER_01: And you they just acting it on.
- 8:38SPEAKER_01: I'm like, in my head, like, yo, this cat just did a backwards flip in the sky and came down to a split, dragged himself up, and then moonwalk back into the thing, and then did some other goddamn stuff.
- 8:52SPEAKER_01: I don't even know what it was.
- 8:53SPEAKER_01: I can't even describe the dance moves he was doing, but what if he was doing it was freaking outstanding and impossible for me to goddamn replicate.
- 9:03SPEAKER_01: I'm like, how the hell did I get caught up into this dance battle?
- 9:07SPEAKER_01: What the fuck?
- 9:08SPEAKER_01: So now I'm thinking my head, it's a setup.
- 9:11SPEAKER_01: They done set me up.
- 9:13SPEAKER_01: They knew what's happening.
- 9:16SPEAKER_01: That man or whoever child that was, they knew this was gonna happen.
- 9:21SPEAKER_01: And I was just the sucker that they got.
- 9:24SPEAKER_01: But I'm thinking myself, I'm good.
- 9:26SPEAKER_01: I'm dancing mania, I can dance.
- 9:29SPEAKER_01: So I'm flexing, I'm scratching.
- 9:31SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, I'm getting ready.
- 9:33SPEAKER_01: I gotta get my body ready, cause I gotta scratch my body out, right?
- 9:35SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, DJ done hit it.
- 9:37SPEAKER_01: The DJ about to play my music a little bit, right?
- 9:40SPEAKER_01: And then he's gonna play some stuff, you know, like um, I forgot what it was.
- 9:44SPEAKER_01: It was some 3-6 mafia, right?
- 9:45SPEAKER_01: I think no 3-6 mafia or what thing, whatever it was.
- 9:48SPEAKER_01: I can't remember the song out of my head, but what if it was a crump song?
- 9:52SPEAKER_01: It was one of Lil John songs, right?
- 9:54SPEAKER_01: Um, no, it wasn't Lil John.
- 9:56SPEAKER_01: I'm I remember right now.
- 9:58SPEAKER_01: It was um, what's the day?
- 10:00SPEAKER_01: Everybody come to Found the Night.
- 10:03SPEAKER_01: Ah god, I can't remember the song.
- 10:05SPEAKER_01: If y'all remember the song, but Pyrock! That's what it was, Pyrock.
- 10:09SPEAKER_01: So that was my song he started playing, right?
- 10:11SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I can do a part right.
- 10:13SPEAKER_01: And then say, everybody shuffling.
- 10:15SPEAKER_01: Then I got then I can start getting my bands, and I got it.
- 10:18SPEAKER_01: So, because when you say everybody's shuffling, that's when I my terms come in, right?
- 10:21SPEAKER_01: Because like I say, the kid done finished, everybody went, ooh, then he's like, DJ's like, everybody shuffling.
- 10:28SPEAKER_01: That was my signal to get myself ready and go into the dance battle.
- 10:33SPEAKER_01: So I start shuffling to the dance battle, right?
- 10:35SPEAKER_01: So I did my stuff, start shuffling.
- 10:36SPEAKER_01: Everybody like they ready.
- 10:37SPEAKER_01: And like I say, now it's a crowd of people around me, like a square.
- 10:42SPEAKER_01: Now the kid done killed it.
- 10:43SPEAKER_01: I mean, when I say he killed it, he killed it.
- 10:46SPEAKER_01: And I knew I had to do something to get myself out of this situation.
- 10:51SPEAKER_01: So every doing the potty rocket song, I didn't around, did the little the thing, the what it called the the dizzy squares or dizzy feet or whatever, and started going around doing stuff, and I like, okay, I got it, I got it, I'm feeling it now, okay?
- 11:04SPEAKER_01: I'm feeling it.
- 11:05SPEAKER_01: It reminded me back when I was a little kid.
- 11:07SPEAKER_01: So I'm getting them.
- 11:09SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm getting the moves in, I'm going right.
- 11:12SPEAKER_01: And then as I was halfway through my routine getting it on, right, my bright idea was that I think that I can do a goddamn backflip like he did.
- 11:26SPEAKER_01: I don't know what the fuck I was thinking.
- 11:29SPEAKER_01: Like I said earlier, I haven't done a back flip in about 10 to 15 years.
- 11:37SPEAKER_01: Let you know, it's not like riding a bike.
- 11:40SPEAKER_01: You know, if you ride a bike in 10 to 15 years, you can get on the bike and ride a bike.
- 11:45SPEAKER_01: But riding a bike is not as dangerous as trying to do a backflip, okay?
- 11:49SPEAKER_01: Now, I could have just stuck to what I knew and did the dance moves that I was doing.
- 11:54SPEAKER_01: Because the dance moves I was doing was hitting, okay?
- 11:57SPEAKER_01: It wasn't hitting as good as what the little kid did, but it was hitting it.
- 12:00SPEAKER_01: It was like, okay, you know, everybody knows I'm old.
- 12:03SPEAKER_01: You know, they knew we were just having some fun.
- 12:05SPEAKER_01: And the kid was just having fun, right?
- 12:07SPEAKER_01: And in the end, I didn't care that he beat me, but I still wanted to give him a good show, right?
- 12:13SPEAKER_01: Um, in my head, I saw what the little kid did.
- 12:18SPEAKER_01: I saw the backflip he did, right?
- 12:20SPEAKER_01: And then he dropped down to a split and then came back up.
- 12:25SPEAKER_01: I knew I can do that.
- 12:27SPEAKER_01: Because like I say, although I started working out more this year, I was still in shape last year.
- 12:32SPEAKER_01: I wasn't in a bad shape.
- 12:33SPEAKER_01: So I like I can do this.
- 12:35SPEAKER_01: So I got up, you know, like we in the middle, and then he talked about everybody shuffling, everybody shuffling, everybody, and that was that defeat.
- 12:45SPEAKER_01: He kept hunting, right?
- 12:46SPEAKER_01: So while he was doing that little mix, I came up, I I I run around the little circle camera thing.
- 12:52SPEAKER_01: I got to the back corner, and I like, okay, I'm gonna do it.
- 12:55SPEAKER_01: I can do this flip.
- 12:56SPEAKER_01: I can I went, I did a back flip, right?
- 12:59SPEAKER_01: Barely dropped into the split.
- 13:04SPEAKER_01: When I dropped into the split, my childhood and everything went away.
- 13:09SPEAKER_01: My nuts hit the ground so fucking hard, you would have swear that somebody kicked me from hell.
- 13:15SPEAKER_01: Now, mine now, I sucked it up like a champion and I pulled myself up.
- 13:20SPEAKER_01: But as I pulled myself up, the tears was coming out my eyes because it hurt so bad.
- 13:28SPEAKER_01: And then I shipped back to the crowd and I fainted.
- 13:32SPEAKER_01: Right?
- 13:33SPEAKER_01: But they thought it was part of the dance move.
- 13:35SPEAKER_01: No, I fainted for real life.
- 13:37SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, that that backflip, it took everything out of me when I went to the split and hit the ground.
- 13:42SPEAKER_01: It was horrible.
- 13:44SPEAKER_01: Um, I never felt so bad in my life.
- 13:48SPEAKER_01: Like someone kicked me from the gates of hell, and they thought it was the best thing ever.
- 13:56SPEAKER_01: Um, it was not the best thing ever.
- 13:59SPEAKER_01: I made it look good, but in my mind, my body was done.
- 14:04SPEAKER_01: Now the kid, he went back out and started dancing.
- 14:10SPEAKER_01: I waved them off like as I'm limping away.
- 14:14SPEAKER_01: Now, might not as a little back flip.
- 14:18SPEAKER_01: It's like a mortal combat thing.
- 14:20SPEAKER_01: You know how they show and say you you doing thing?
- 14:24SPEAKER_01: My wrist now was hurting from that, okay.
- 14:28SPEAKER_01: When I hit the ground, my back, when I hit the ground and the thing, my back hurt.
- 14:33SPEAKER_01: And then, like I said, to top it off, I fucked my balls up.
- 14:37SPEAKER_01: Okay.
- 14:38SPEAKER_01: I'm never ever in life doing a backward flip with a split again.
- 14:45SPEAKER_01: That part of my life is is gone.
- 14:48SPEAKER_01: Um But I am gonna get ready for the dance battle this summer, because like I say, I'm gonna do moves in my head that are appropriate for my age.
- 14:58SPEAKER_01: Um, that back for flip, bad idea.
- 15:01SPEAKER_01: I first of all, I knew I was getting set up.
- 15:05SPEAKER_01: I should have recognized I was getting set up, but I did not.
- 15:08SPEAKER_01: Um That was my first mistake going out and doing the dance battle.
- 15:12SPEAKER_01: That was a whole mistake.
- 15:14SPEAKER_01: I I should have never done the dance battle.
- 15:15SPEAKER_01: I should have just brushed it off and just, you know, left and not let my pride write me a check that my ass could not, you know, cash.
- 15:25SPEAKER_01: Even though I did okay and I did pull it off, but at what cost did this happen?
- 15:35SPEAKER_01: Because the cost-benefit ratio was not there.
- 15:40SPEAKER_01: I failed horribly, but it's okay.
- 15:44SPEAKER_01: This summer, this year, I'm gonna be ready with appropriate dance move for a person of my age.
- 15:52SPEAKER_01: And when you call me out this year for a dance battle, for any of y'all out there listening, Jeff's gonna be ready, okay?
- 16:01SPEAKER_01: I'm not doing backflip, I'm not doing the split.
- 16:05SPEAKER_01: My back and balls and wrists can't handle it no more.
- 16:08SPEAKER_01: But I'll be ready to give you whatever you want, and I will have my songs in my head.
- 16:12SPEAKER_01: So for all y'all ready, little kids out there waiting for me or waiting for any old person, remember, we are ready to get you served.
- 16:22SPEAKER_01: So if you're 40, start getting ready to make sure these kids get served, okay?
- 16:28SPEAKER_01: But that's my rant for this week.
- 16:30SPEAKER_01: Like I say, dance battles are coming, okay?
- 16:33SPEAKER_01: Thank you for rocking with me.
- 16:35SPEAKER_01: Please subscribe.
- 16:36SPEAKER_01: Make sure that you push this to your friends, and let me know what kind of topics or you know suggestions that you got there, and we'll keep rocking it.
- 16:46SPEAKER_01: So until next time, thank you, thank you, thank you.
- 16:49SPEAKER_01: Dance battles are on, baby.
- 16:52SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you, I'll give up.