Latest / The Mark Simone Show / Hour 3: Don't squeeze your tea bag!

Transcript

Hour 3: Don't squeeze your tea bag! · The Mark Simone Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Mister New York Mark zimone, he's on sevent tenor well.
0:08
Speaker 2: Hey it's our number three. That's right, the third hour.
0:11
Speaker 2: I remember we start at nine o'clock every day. Now
0:13
Speaker 2: it's nine to noon every day for this show. If
0:16
Speaker 2: you're a Democrat, cover your ears for a moment. Stock
0:20
Speaker 2: market way up, record levels, record levels, Dow s and
0:23
Speaker 2: P record levels. Oil prices relatively low in the mid seventies,
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Speaker 2: way below Joe Biden levels. That's for a barrel of oil,
0:34
Speaker 2: way below Joe Biden levels. Straight of horn Moose, Well,
0:39
Speaker 2: it'll the President says it's open. It's not really open,
0:44
Speaker 2: but Ran says they're very, very close to a deal
0:48
Speaker 2: to reopen the Straight of horn Moose. That'll bring oil
0:51
Speaker 2: down even more. Now, when you go in the drugstore
0:56
Speaker 2: and everything's locked up, the shampoo is locked up, the
1:00
Speaker 2: aspirin is locked up, you got to ring the bell
1:02
Speaker 2: for the manager, wait an hour and a half for
1:05
Speaker 2: him to show up, and then he's got the wrong key.
1:07
Speaker 2: Then he's going to come back. That's annoying enough. But
1:12
Speaker 2: in California, where everything is out of control, shoplifting, crime,
1:15
Speaker 2: everything California is a mess crime wise. If you go
1:19
Speaker 2: to the supermarket. They are now locking up things in
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Speaker 2: the supermarket, for instance, beef. If it's an expensive cut
1:27
Speaker 2: of beef, it's locked up. They have anti theft measures.
1:32
Speaker 2: They're taking it to a new level. People are posting
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Speaker 2: videos on Instagram showing the ribi steak and ground beef
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Speaker 2: wrapped in special security things. You know, like when you
1:44
Speaker 2: go to a store and they have like a security
1:47
Speaker 2: chain on the expensive coat so you can't take it
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Speaker 2: off the rack. They're doing this now on beef in California.
1:54
Speaker 2: So crime just going crazy everywhere, getting out of control. Hey,
1:58
Speaker 2: congratulations to mom Donnie. He's got welfare now at a
2:02
Speaker 2: thirty year high, the welfare roles at a thirty year high.
2:06
Speaker 2: I don't know that we can blame him, he's not
2:07
Speaker 2: been in office that long, but you think he'd want
2:11
Speaker 2: to get to work on that. Eight hundred and sixty
2:16
Speaker 2: five thousand people on welfare. That's a thirty year high.
2:19
Speaker 2: Eight hundred and sixty five thousand. Last time that happened
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Speaker 2: was under Rudy Giuliani, but then he got the number down.
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Speaker 2: It's a seventy one percent increase from twenty twenty two,
2:35
Speaker 2: So you really think he'd focus on that, Forget the buses,
2:37
Speaker 2: forget your supermarket for a minute, focus on this. Now,
2:42
Speaker 2: the New York City government stayed for that matter, But
2:44
Speaker 2: the New York City government wastes almost well, probably more
2:48
Speaker 2: than half its budget. So there's about thirty billion dollars
2:52
Speaker 2: just totally wasted that could be taken care of these
2:55
Speaker 2: kind of things. Rosie O'Donnell. Remember she left the country.
2:59
Speaker 2: She's leaving America, leaving the country. That's it, she's gone. Well,
3:03
Speaker 2: now she's back. Nobody can forget what the hell she's
3:05
Speaker 2: doing here. She's doing a one woman show on Broadway.
3:08
Speaker 2: It's because no one else wants to work with her.
3:11
Speaker 2: She's filling in for Jimmy Kimmel.
3:14
Speaker 1: And what is it?
3:15
Speaker 2: What this Jimmy Kimmel? Colbert goes off the air, perfect
3:18
Speaker 2: time to take some of that audience beyond every night
3:22
Speaker 2: and win over that audience. He leaves for the whole summer.
3:26
Speaker 2: What kind of guy takes the whole summer off, especially
3:30
Speaker 2: when your show's in jeopardy, probably because it's losing money
3:35
Speaker 2: every year. You'd think you'd want to stay there and work.
3:37
Speaker 2: But he's taking the whole summer off. A lot of guests,
3:39
Speaker 2: sos Rosie o'donald will be one of them. It's a
3:42
Speaker 2: chance for her to go on and attack Trump. She
3:47
Speaker 2: is doing a lot of the interviews. She says Trump
3:48
Speaker 2: has PTSD whatever she means there. She said, he's triggered
3:56
Speaker 2: by me. She's triggered. She calls him a I can't
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Speaker 2: read this. The language is pretty bad. But the decades
4:03
Speaker 2: long feud it all started. Remember Trump owned the Miss
4:08
Speaker 2: USA pageant. He owned the beauty pageant. There was some
4:11
Speaker 2: controversy with a beauty pageant contestant, contestant and something there
4:18
Speaker 2: was something Trump did about it or said about it.
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Speaker 2: Something he did, and that made it a subject on
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Speaker 2: the view and they started to discuss the problem with
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Speaker 2: this beauty contestant and Trump's actions. That was the topic.
4:32
Speaker 2: But then somehow when they went to Rosie O'Donnell, she
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Speaker 2: got really ugly about it and started imitating Trump and
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Speaker 2: doing like vicious, vicious attacks on Trump. And he saw
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Speaker 2: it and then he really went after her. This is
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Speaker 2: years ago, but long before he got into politics, and
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Speaker 2: he really went after her. And it went back and
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Speaker 2: forth and back and forth. So she said, he's so deluded,
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Speaker 2: he's got post traumatic stress syndrome for me. But it
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Speaker 2: it was just and that's the way Trump's always been.
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Speaker 2: If you punch him hard, he'll punch you back harder.
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Speaker 2: It's always been that way. But she was the one
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Speaker 2: that started the feud, and that's the last guy you
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Speaker 2: want to start a feud with because he was He
5:12
Speaker 2: will never back down. He's relentless punching back. And it
5:17
Speaker 2: just got out of control. So people, even people that
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Speaker 2: know Rosie O'Donnell, say she's so deluded. Trump lives rent
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Speaker 2: free in her head. She's obsessed. It poisoned her soul
5:27
Speaker 2: and it just never ever ever ends. Now, Hey, there's
5:33
Speaker 2: an interesting story in Connecticut. They got a governor there,
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Speaker 2: ned Lamont. He's running for a third term, Ned Lamont,
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Speaker 2: And I noticed he's running TV commercials all over the place,
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Speaker 2: this ned Lamont. It wasn't a bad governor in the
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Speaker 2: beginning because he was a business guy, made a lot
5:51
Speaker 2: of money, very successful businessman. Then became governor California. And
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Speaker 2: the good thing is if you were in the business world,
5:57
Speaker 2: you have a little idea of reality and common sen
6:01
Speaker 2: But like a lot of these governors, like Cuomo, not
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Speaker 2: as bad as Cuomo, but he's going too far to
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Speaker 2: the left. He's getting a little crazy. Sou Lamont and
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Speaker 2: this Connecticut state legislature. This used to be the most
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Speaker 2: common sense place Connecticut, but they're getting out of control.
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Speaker 2: That passed all kinds of stuff. And Lamont and the
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Speaker 2: legislature where they can go into every town and take
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Speaker 2: control of housing. They can force every local town. There's
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Speaker 2: house built eight thousand and two Special Legislative Session lesson.
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Speaker 2: But this Lamont is behind. This requires municipalities to prepare
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Speaker 2: housing growth plans, requires them to have low income housing,
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Speaker 2: requires them to have this residential development. And that residential
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Speaker 2: development makes no sense at all. You talking about nice
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Speaker 2: little Connecticut towns, whether it's Greenwich or Ridgefield or Bethel,
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Speaker 2: or where the state can come in and decide where
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Speaker 2: you're going to build housing and where you're gonna have
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Speaker 2: to have low income housing, absolutely disgusting. Greenwich has a
7:03
Speaker 2: very good mayor, Fred Camillo, excellent mayor. So he held
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Speaker 2: a press conference recently to stop this, to absolutely stop this.
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Speaker 2: Now there's a guy running for governor as the Republican.
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Speaker 2: You need to vote for him in November. It's Ryan Fozzio.
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Speaker 2: Make sure you vote for him and get rid of this,
7:22
Speaker 2: ned Lamont. But Fred Camillo and him great press conference
7:27
Speaker 2: bringing attention to it. First of all, you know they
7:29
Speaker 2: try this stuff in New York. They try this where
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Speaker 2: the state or the federal government can come in to
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Speaker 2: your nice little town. If you're Ridgefield, Connecticut and decide,
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Speaker 2: you know what, low income housing right here, right next
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Speaker 2: to that beautiful candy store you got in Ridgefield. It's awful.
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Speaker 2: I'm glad somebody is standing up to this and trying
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Speaker 2: to stop it. But if you're in Connecticut, get rid
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Speaker 2: of this, ned Lamont, get to vote for Fazio, the
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Speaker 2: Republican candidate in November. Just stop all of this. So
8:00
Speaker 2: people are asking hibout mom Donnie more about about his supermarkets.
8:04
Speaker 2: They're asking him for details. There's not gonna be any supermarkets.
8:09
Speaker 2: He's never gonna get this actually done. I mean, it's
8:11
Speaker 2: just talking, talk and plan and talk and skip. So
8:15
Speaker 2: they're asking him at will they have a butcher's No,
8:18
Speaker 2: he says, no butchers. What about hot food? No, no
8:22
Speaker 2: hot food. But he said at our stores, eggs will
8:26
Speaker 2: be cheaper, bread will be cheaper, so that covers breakfast.
8:30
Speaker 2: What about the rest of the day. He can't say
8:33
Speaker 2: what will be cheaper, but eggs and bread. So if
8:39
Speaker 2: you don't mind a Frida egg sandwich for dinner, you'll
8:42
Speaker 2: be fine. He said his shops will focus on selling
8:48
Speaker 2: a discounted core basket of goods. So again, there's all
8:53
Speaker 2: kinds of problems with this. It's not gonna work, but
8:57
Speaker 2: don't worry about it. You're never going to see one
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Speaker 2: of these groceries. He's talking about twenty twenty nine. That
9:02
Speaker 2: means twenty thirty six, and he'll be long gone by then,
9:05
Speaker 2: long gone by them. Now, he was not born in
9:08
Speaker 2: this country, so he can't run for president. There's some
9:13
Speaker 2: people think that maybe in a year or so, as
9:17
Speaker 2: a BN mayor gets boring for him and he's not
9:20
Speaker 2: being successful at it, that he may decide to jump
9:24
Speaker 2: ship and run for Schumer's seat. Everybody thinks AOC will
9:27
Speaker 2: run for that seat, and Schumer has absolutely no shot
9:31
Speaker 2: at reelection. He knows that he'll drop out of the race,
9:34
Speaker 2: so it'll be an open seat. So don't be surprised
9:38
Speaker 2: if Mom Donnie jumps into this. He could become a senator. Now,
9:41
Speaker 2: this guy in this nutjob el sayad in Michigan was
9:46
Speaker 2: born in this country. So the crazy socialist are thinking,
9:49
Speaker 2: if they need a twenty twenty eight presidential candidate, this
9:52
Speaker 2: guy will be perfect. Doctor Abdul el Sayad, crazy left
9:58
Speaker 2: wing kook. But that's exactly what they're looking for in
10:01
Speaker 2: twenty twenty eight. So keep an eye on these guys
10:04
Speaker 2: to go for that. As twenty twenty eight comes around,
10:09
Speaker 2: you'll see Elsaia I think talk about president. You'll see
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Speaker 2: Mom Donnie talk about the Senate and AOC. You know,
10:17
Speaker 2: she was the original squad whatever it was. But but
10:23
Speaker 2: as bad as AOC was, these people to way to
10:27
Speaker 2: the left of her, whether it's El Sayad or that
10:31
Speaker 2: Hong in Wisconsin or Mom Donnie, they're way to the
10:34
Speaker 2: left of her. So AOC's time may be over. It
10:38
Speaker 2: might be might be a little too late for her.
10:42
Speaker 2: She might be considered. You know how they think of
10:44
Speaker 2: Schumer's this old fossil, this old dinosaur out of tuch
10:48
Speaker 2: Well they're going to start thinking to her that way too.
10:50
Speaker 2: She's next on that list. So hey, the Trump administration
10:54
Speaker 2: talking about banning Chinese robots. You know, robots are the
10:58
Speaker 2: big thing right now. They they do work in all
11:01
Speaker 2: the factories. There's companies now that will build a house
11:05
Speaker 2: with robots, these robots doing all kinds of stuff. But
11:07
Speaker 2: the Chinese robots that are being imported, now, why would
11:11
Speaker 2: they ban those, Well, the president says they may be
11:16
Speaker 2: loaded with all kinds of spyware. It'd be easy to
11:20
Speaker 2: do it in a robot. You know, a robot has
11:22
Speaker 2: all kinds of stuff in there. So our intelligence services
11:26
Speaker 2: are reporting that China might be loading up those robots
11:30
Speaker 2: with surveillance stuff, spyware, all sorts of stuff. So there
11:34
Speaker 2: could be a full ban on them from China at
11:37
Speaker 2: some point. Bruce Blakeman going after HOKL and the MTA
11:43
Speaker 2: boss liber The spending is out of control at the MTA,
11:48
Speaker 2: absolutely out of control. The budget gaps, you know, the
11:52
Speaker 2: budget is like they have a gap like two hundred
11:55
Speaker 2: and ninety five million, that's the budget gap. The budget
11:58
Speaker 2: gap in a couple of years will be five hundred million.
12:01
Speaker 2: It's absolutely ridiculous. This is taxpayer money comes right out
12:04
Speaker 2: of our paychecks, that's being wasted. Blakeman yelling and screaming,
12:08
Speaker 2: and he's right, there's a big spending problem. Hey. By
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Speaker 2: the way, Blakeman was on the MTA board for a while.
12:15
Speaker 2: So when it comes to this, he really really knows
12:18
Speaker 2: his stuff. So listen carefully to him on this subject. Hey,
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Speaker 2: I think I mentioned this the other day. I'll mention
12:25
Speaker 2: it again. If you drink tea, you boil the water.
12:30
Speaker 2: You put the tea bag in and you'll let it
12:34
Speaker 2: sit for a few minutes. And then what do you
12:36
Speaker 2: do before you take the tea bag out. A lot
12:38
Speaker 2: of people do this. They take the spoon before they
12:42
Speaker 2: take the tea bag out. They squeeze the tea bag
12:46
Speaker 2: to get whatever's left in there out of it. Experts saying,
12:49
Speaker 2: don't ever do that. Don't ever squeeze the tea bag
12:53
Speaker 2: when it's in the water. A tea bag is made
12:56
Speaker 2: so when you put it in the water, all the
12:58
Speaker 2: good stuff comes out in the water. If you squeeze it,
13:04
Speaker 2: the bad stuff also comes out. There's other stuff in
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Speaker 2: that tea bag that's a little bitter, and when you
13:10
Speaker 2: squeeze it, you bring it out, the bitter, dry stuff
13:12
Speaker 2: that's not supposed to come out. You're physically forcing it out.
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Speaker 2: These are what they call concentrated tannins. So don't squeeze
13:20
Speaker 2: the tea bag and you'll get a little better flavor
13:23
Speaker 2: than if you do squeeze it. Hey, don't forget where
13:26
Speaker 2: the show is now nine to noon every day. We
13:28
Speaker 2: now start at nine am. Shows now three hours every day,
13:32
Speaker 2: and we'll take some calls next. Eight hundred three two
13:36
Speaker 2: one zero seven ten is the number. We'd like to
13:39
Speaker 2: get new callers all the time. You never called before.
13:42
Speaker 2: Eight hundred three two one zero seven ten. We'll take
13:46
Speaker 2: some calls next, eight hundred three two one zero seven ten.
13:51
Speaker 2: Mark Simon, mister New York.
13:54
Speaker 1: Now three hours every weekday from nine till noon on
13:57
Speaker 1: seven tenr.
14:00
Speaker 2: Okay, let's tay can call us. Eight hundred three two
14:03
Speaker 2: one zero seven ten is the number. Let's go to
14:06
Speaker 2: Don and Long Island. Don. How you doing?
14:09
Speaker 3: Hey, Mark great, I'm glad you're on an extra hour.
14:12
Speaker 3: How are you coping with that?
14:14
Speaker 2: It's not easy. It's not ease, but it's like it's
14:16
Speaker 2: like pushups. You can do ten and there's no problem.
14:18
Speaker 2: But if you practice, you can do twenty and it
14:20
Speaker 2: seems to be no problem. He's just had a practice.
14:23
Speaker 2: It gets easier.
14:24
Speaker 3: I'm curious. Remember the storms they had two years ago
14:27
Speaker 3: down in South where where everybody couldn't connect with each
14:30
Speaker 3: other and talk, and then Elon Musk sent starlink to them. Yeah,
14:35
Speaker 3: I'm wondering, why can't we do that to Iran? So
14:37
Speaker 3: we can, so they can form a resistance against their government.
14:41
Speaker 2: Well, how are you gonna get How are you gonna
14:43
Speaker 2: get them there?
14:45
Speaker 4: I don't know.
14:46
Speaker 3: I guess she satellites, isn't it? You can just shoot?
14:49
Speaker 2: I know, But how do you get them? You have
14:51
Speaker 2: to get them eat a starlink dish? How do you
14:52
Speaker 2: do that?
14:54
Speaker 4: Okay?
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Speaker 3: I didn't think about that. I don't know. Yeah, I
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Speaker 3: just know about what happened in down Down where people
15:02
Speaker 3: connect with each other.
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Speaker 2: Well, that was easier. You just drive a truck down
15:05
Speaker 2: They're filled with starlink dishes and pass them out. You
15:08
Speaker 2: can't drive a truck into I ran with them, and
15:10
Speaker 2: you could deprove it.
15:11
Speaker 3: I got you.
15:12
Speaker 5: I thought I had a brilliant idea. Okay, think it now.
15:15
Speaker 5: You can parachute one in. But I don't know if
15:18
Speaker 5: anybody would know what to do with it when they
15:20
Speaker 5: got it. Let's go to Rob in Long Island.
15:23
Speaker 2: Rob, how you doing market?
15:25
Speaker 6: Morning? I learned that Alaska has a program for dividend distributions.
15:29
Speaker 6: To its residents on royalties for oil sales, and to
15:32
Speaker 6: get that check every year they've got to show ID.
15:35
Speaker 6: And eight of the people who live there sign up
15:38
Speaker 6: for this dividend check. And so it seems really foolhardy
15:42
Speaker 6: that Murrakowski can't vote for the Save Act if you
15:45
Speaker 6: can show idea to get that that that check. In addition, though,
15:49
Speaker 6: when you sign up to get that money, you're automatically
15:52
Speaker 6: enrolled to vote. But when you vote, they tell you, oh,
15:55
Speaker 6: if you're only a residence and not a citizen, you're
15:59
Speaker 6: not allowed to vote. So they set the table for
16:01
Speaker 6: potential fraud on their own and then they on their
16:04
Speaker 6: honor system they don't do that, and the other twenty
16:06
Speaker 6: percent of people can go on the internet and they
16:09
Speaker 6: have a way to show ID to vote. So her
16:12
Speaker 6: whole notion about not being able to show ID as
16:14
Speaker 6: cruel as it's nonsense. And the last point I want
16:17
Speaker 6: to make is that Alaska is a hearty state that
16:20
Speaker 6: has the history of the Iditarod and Mount McKinley and
16:24
Speaker 6: the Klondike. If they can have done all that, they
16:27
Speaker 6: can figure out a way to go vote.
16:28
Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely, very good point. Excellent, Rob. I like that
16:32
Speaker 2: idea though you get a dividend from the oil sales
16:36
Speaker 2: every citizen get. You know when they say, well a
16:38
Speaker 2: lot of people can't get a voter ID. Let's give
16:41
Speaker 2: it out a differendt. Let's give out some money and
16:43
Speaker 2: see how fast anybody can get a photo. Everybody can
16:45
Speaker 2: get a photo ID real fast. If there's money to
16:48
Speaker 2: be made off it. Let's go to Mike and Portchester. Mike,
16:51
Speaker 2: how you doing all right?
16:53
Speaker 4: Mark, glad to talk to you again. I just called
16:57
Speaker 4: because you were reminiscing about some of the buildings in
17:00
Speaker 4: New York. Yeah, and uh, when the old pan Am
17:04
Speaker 4: building which has met life now, there used to be
17:08
Speaker 4: an Italian restaurant on the first floor. And my late wife,
17:14
Speaker 4: she was a student at Catherine Gibbs, so he used
17:18
Speaker 4: to go down and knet her down there, you know,
17:21
Speaker 4: and hit that place is fast.
17:23
Speaker 2: Go to Mamma Leone's, Mama Leon's. I forgot about that place.
17:26
Speaker 2: What was the one in the PanAm? I don't remember
17:28
Speaker 2: an Italian restaurant there, but you know.
17:31
Speaker 4: What the name is escapes me, but it was a
17:33
Speaker 4: restaurant in the very first floor. When you go in.
17:38
Speaker 2: Mama Leoni's, where was that Times Square theater district.
17:42
Speaker 4: Yeah, down that way.
17:44
Speaker 5: Yeah.
17:44
Speaker 2: But you know you got like.
17:45
Speaker 4: The old the German, the German restaurant Luchause. I forgot
17:50
Speaker 4: the name of it, yeah, Luchause.
17:52
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, if you don't what you got much better
17:54
Speaker 2: restaurants today. You got you there's no Mammalleones, but you
17:58
Speaker 2: got the car Mines, which is very good. You a
18:00
Speaker 2: million great Italian restaurants. You got Patsy's. Well that's always
18:03
Speaker 2: been there, but you got better, better restaurants today, much
18:07
Speaker 2: better restaurants today. You know, if you went back to
18:10
Speaker 2: the seventies or eighties, the best steak in New York
18:14
Speaker 2: Peter Lugers and people go there. Now go yeah, it's good,
18:19
Speaker 2: but it's not the best way. That's because over the
18:21
Speaker 2: last couple of decades, much better steak houses of open.
18:24
Speaker 2: You got a million great steak houses here. You got Mastros,
18:27
Speaker 2: you got Del Frisco, you got Capitol Grill, you got
18:30
Speaker 2: Smith and Lanski, you you got a million grits. It's
18:33
Speaker 2: like JG. Mellon Upreside. Ooh, that was the best hamburger
18:36
Speaker 2: in New York. And it was back then, but now
18:39
Speaker 2: there's fifty better Hamburgers in New York. They're all over
18:42
Speaker 2: the place. Now let's go to Sammy and Howard Beach. Sammy,
18:46
Speaker 2: how you doing.
18:48
Speaker 7: I'm doing great? Mark Market. Just want to add to
18:51
Speaker 7: that gentleman last style that was talking about tour buses.
18:55
Speaker 7: One of the big things in New York City right
18:58
Speaker 7: now are tours of mob his story historians.
19:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, well we just bring the bus by your house.
19:06
Speaker 2: It sounds like, oh, absolutely, you have.
19:09
Speaker 7: A field day. But either way, you know, you got
19:12
Speaker 7: this Sheridan Hotel where at a stage you got shot.
19:17
Speaker 2: In the barbershop Albert Anastasia is killed right over there
19:20
Speaker 2: in the corner fifty sixth and seventh.
19:23
Speaker 7: That's that's correct. Right up the block from you, you
19:27
Speaker 7: have any of the Chin Social Club down on the
19:31
Speaker 7: Sullivan Street, right next Saint Anthony. So you really have
19:36
Speaker 7: and John Gotti's Social Club, of course, is now a boutique.
19:42
Speaker 7: How about that.
19:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you got, of course the Copa Cabanna. That
19:45
Speaker 2: was quite the mob hang out. The Copa Cabanna is
19:47
Speaker 2: now Ava the restaurant.
19:50
Speaker 7: Remember the great Copa scene in good Fellas.
19:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, now that was a little when he when they
19:57
Speaker 2: go into the Copa and they go through the kitchen
19:59
Speaker 2: and then they make twenty seven different turns. It wasn't
20:02
Speaker 2: really like that. It was like four turns camera. Yeah,
20:07
Speaker 2: it was quite a shot. It was quite a shot
20:09
Speaker 2: they took for it was like an eighteen minute shot
20:12
Speaker 2: or something where they start on the street, the camera
20:15
Speaker 2: follows Henry and Karen down the stairs and then they
20:19
Speaker 2: make all these different turns to get into the main
20:22
Speaker 2: showroom by going to the kitchen. In real life, if
20:25
Speaker 2: you did that, you only make about four turns. It's
20:28
Speaker 2: not twenty seven different turns. But it's all one take
20:32
Speaker 2: all those turns, all through all that and then into
20:35
Speaker 2: the kopa and then they bring the table and he
20:37
Speaker 2: sits at the table, the show starts, Henny Youngman comes out.
20:40
Speaker 2: It's like an eighteen minute shot and they got it perfect.
20:44
Speaker 2: And apparently Henny Youngman a couple times screwed up to take,
20:48
Speaker 2: so they had to do it again. But in the
20:50
Speaker 2: end it all came out just fine. Let's go to
20:52
Speaker 2: Walt in Yonkers Walt, how you doing pretty good?
20:56
Speaker 1: Mark the best restaurant ever ever in Manhattan, Catsu's Delhi
21:00
Speaker 1: Get a Salami Fia Boy in the.
21:02
Speaker 2: Army Katsus is pretty good. It's very good. Cats It's
21:05
Speaker 2: but the Carnegie was better. The stage was better in
21:08
Speaker 2: its day. Second Avenue Delhi is pretty good. Although kats
21:12
Speaker 2: It's from the movie when Harry met Sally. So it
21:16
Speaker 2: is the big, big tourist attraction. One more call. Let's
21:19
Speaker 2: go to Jim in New Jersey. Jim, how you doing, Mark.
21:23
Speaker 8: I'll get to my point quick. I'm sitting in the
21:24
Speaker 8: parking lot first of the Habit Burger Grill in Flora Park,
21:28
Speaker 8: New Jersey. So there is one mark on the east coast. Oh,
21:31
Speaker 8: there's a sign in there that says it's established Barbara, California.
21:35
Speaker 2: And this Habit Habit Burger that is supposed to be
21:39
Speaker 2: like the new best burger chain, even better than In
21:41
Speaker 2: and Out in the latest studies.
21:43
Speaker 8: Where is it New Jersey, floram Park Mark where the
21:47
Speaker 8: Jets headquarters is all right?
21:48
Speaker 2: The center Flora Park. Check it out. I'll check it out.
21:51
Speaker 2: Habit Burger in the last survey beat In and Out
21:55
Speaker 2: for best burger in America. It's a chain. I think
21:57
Speaker 2: they have three hundred stores already, Habit Burger and Grill. Hey,
22:02
Speaker 2: don't forget what it's nine to noon every day. This
22:04
Speaker 2: show starts now at nine am, so we're actually in
22:08
Speaker 2: the third hour right now. Three hours every day, nine
22:11
Speaker 2: to noon. And if you're a podcast listener, you get
22:15
Speaker 2: an extra hour every day. Hey, and if you're a
22:16
Speaker 2: podcast listener, remember there's a bonus segment. You get an
22:19
Speaker 2: extra show every weekend. Yeah, over the weekend, there's an
22:23
Speaker 2: extra show just for podcast listeners. And you can get
22:26
Speaker 2: the podcast of this show anywhere Apple Podcasts, iHeart app, Spotify,
22:32
Speaker 2: pandor any place you get your podcasts. So coming up
22:35
Speaker 2: after the news, the great comedian Jackie Martling, Jackie the
22:39
Speaker 2: joke Man. We'll talk to him and have a few
22:41
Speaker 2: laughs in a moment on seven to ten WR It's the.
22:46
Speaker 7: Mark Simone Show, Live from ther Life Back Studios.
22:52
Speaker 2: Well, you know Jackie Martling, Jackie the joke Man, the
22:55
Speaker 2: great comedian. By the way, next Saturday night, August fifteenth,
22:59
Speaker 2: he'll be a soul Joels pots down Pennsylvania. You're always
23:04
Speaker 2: appearing all over the place. Oh, you know what's coming
23:05
Speaker 2: up in February, The Long Island Comedians Reunion Cruise Jackie
23:11
Speaker 2: Martling and other great comedians on Holland America. Go to
23:13
Speaker 2: his website. You can see everything there. Go to jokeland
23:17
Speaker 2: dot com. Jokeland dot com. Jackie Martling, how you.
23:20
Speaker 1: Doing, Oh, I'm doing great. Everything is pretty peachy, except
23:24
Speaker 1: for the fact that it's very very very very hot.
23:27
Speaker 1: At least I got the sound to jump in and uh.
23:30
Speaker 2: Now you live. You live right on the beach, right,
23:32
Speaker 2: you can just jump in the water, Yes.
23:34
Speaker 1: Right on glorious Long Island sound. I jump in every morning,
23:37
Speaker 1: every morning.
23:39
Speaker 2: And you, uh, well, now people think Long Island sounds
23:42
Speaker 2: not as good as the ocean. It's better than the ocean.
23:45
Speaker 2: It's not freezing cold like that.
23:46
Speaker 1: Oh, it's cleaner, wonderful, It's wonderful.
23:49
Speaker 2: Yeah. Hey, you're going on a cruise.
23:51
Speaker 1: Sure, you know the sand That sand is so fine.
23:54
Speaker 1: That's sand on the south shore gets in your crotch,
23:56
Speaker 1: you know.
23:57
Speaker 4: Yeah.
23:58
Speaker 1: The cruise is great. It's it's Holland America on the
24:01
Speaker 1: Nude Stodterdam. I'm with Richie Minabini and magician John Farrantino
24:07
Speaker 1: and it's it's the Long Island Communion Crew Comedian Reunion
24:12
Speaker 1: Cruise and starting in Fort Lauderdale and we're hitting seven
24:16
Speaker 1: different places. We're leaving on my birthday, my seventy ninth birthday,
24:20
Speaker 1: February fourteenth, and it's it's best at sea tours. But
24:25
Speaker 1: the best thing to do is just to go to
24:27
Speaker 1: jokeland dot com. Otherwise too hard to figure it out.
24:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, jokeland dot com. But does this mean you're stuck
24:32
Speaker 2: on a cruise ship of like a thousand people with
24:34
Speaker 2: flowered shirts on?
24:35
Speaker 1: And well, you know, some some comics don't like to
24:39
Speaker 1: interact with God crawd me. I love the crowd. I'll
24:41
Speaker 1: sit there and answer how it's stern questions and listen
24:44
Speaker 1: to old jokes until the cows come home. I love it.
24:47
Speaker 1: So you know, it's like I done and went to
24:49
Speaker 1: heaven to do this, plus plus good food.
24:51
Speaker 2: Not to mention that, right, Yeah, Now you're a professional
24:54
Speaker 2: comedian with more jokes than me in the world, and
24:57
Speaker 2: so you're saying when people come up to you, they
24:59
Speaker 2: try to tell you a like you're not gonna know.
25:01
Speaker 1: They always do, and you half the time, I wind up,
25:05
Speaker 1: you know, reworking and explain to the people how they're
25:08
Speaker 1: supposed to tell the joke. But you know, you never know.
25:11
Speaker 1: Once in a blue moon, somebody gets me with a
25:13
Speaker 1: new one, and I and I just love it. You know,
25:16
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen too often, but what the hell? You know,
25:18
Speaker 1: that's how I learned all these jokes by being the
25:20
Speaker 1: last one standing every night for seventy years. You know.
25:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, but this is like going up to Tom Brady saying,
25:26
Speaker 2: let me show you how I throw the football. I mean,
25:28
Speaker 2: it's kind of stupid to tell you a joke, isn't it.
25:31
Speaker 1: Well, it doesn't hurt that you're getting paid, all right,
25:36
Speaker 1: So let's go. So it's adult education, adult sex, head class,
25:40
Speaker 1: and the teacher says, all right, class, let's take a survey.
25:43
Speaker 1: How many people have sex once a day? A few
25:46
Speaker 1: people raise their hands, all right? How many you have
25:48
Speaker 1: sex once a week? And a lot of people raise
25:50
Speaker 1: their hands, all right? How many people have sex once
25:52
Speaker 1: a month? And a bunch of people raise their hands.
25:56
Speaker 1: How many of you have sex once a year?
25:59
Speaker 3: And the guy in the back.
26:00
Speaker 8: Maybe over here, me, right here, me, The.
26:03
Speaker 1: Teacher says, Harry, if you only have sex once a year,
26:07
Speaker 1: why are you so excited? He says, because tonight's tonight.
26:10
Speaker 3: Tonight's the night.
26:15
Speaker 1: I love that job. So the guy walks in and
26:18
Speaker 1: his wife is naked on the living room floor with
26:21
Speaker 1: a stranger. He says, Sylvia, what are you doing? She
26:25
Speaker 1: turns the stranger and says, I told you he was stupid.
26:30
Speaker 1: All right, I here's the great one. Here's a great one.
26:33
Speaker 1: A guy's doing town. He walked in a restaurant and
26:36
Speaker 1: there's a horse tending bar, and he looks on the
26:39
Speaker 1: bar and there's a goldfish ball full of ten dollar bills.
26:43
Speaker 1: He tends you guy at the bar and says, what's
26:45
Speaker 1: going on? What's with the goldfish ball with a ten
26:47
Speaker 1: dollar bill? And says, well, we got a thing going.
26:49
Speaker 1: You put ten dollar bill in the goldfish ball, and
26:51
Speaker 1: you're trying to make the horse laugh. If you make
26:53
Speaker 1: the horse laugh, you get all the money. Well, I
26:56
Speaker 1: want to give it a shot. So he throws a
26:57
Speaker 1: ten dollar bill in the goldfish ball and leaves the
26:59
Speaker 1: horse out back. They come walking back in and the
27:02
Speaker 1: horse is laughing his ass off. So the guy scoops
27:06
Speaker 1: out all the ten dollar bills and he leaves. A
27:08
Speaker 1: couple of days later, he walks back in. There's the
27:11
Speaker 1: horse behind the bar, the goldfish bowl full of twenty
27:13
Speaker 1: dollar bills. He says, what's going on now, guy, Well,
27:17
Speaker 1: we got a new game. You put a twenty dollar
27:19
Speaker 1: bill in the goldfish bowl, and if you can make
27:22
Speaker 1: the horse cry, you get all the money. You know,
27:25
Speaker 1: I want to give it a shot. She puts a
27:27
Speaker 1: twenty dollar bill in the goldfish bowl and he leads
27:29
Speaker 1: the horse out back. They come walking back in and
27:32
Speaker 1: the horse is crying his eyes out, So the guy
27:36
Speaker 1: scoops out all the money. He goes to leave, and
27:38
Speaker 1: the guy's wait, wait, wait a minute, pal, wait a minute,
27:41
Speaker 1: what the hell did you do? He is, well, the
27:44
Speaker 1: first time I told the horse I had a bigger
27:46
Speaker 1: penis than him, and this time I showed it to him. Now,
27:55
Speaker 1: how great is that? That is a great one.
27:57
Speaker 2: It's great, and for you, relatively clean, it's.
28:00
Speaker 1: The Ultimately, So guys in a huge department store, he
28:04
Speaker 1: gets separated from his wife.
28:06
Speaker 8: He runs into a old friend.
28:07
Speaker 1: He said, Walter, boy, I haven't seen you in so long.
28:10
Speaker 1: How you doing? He said, well, you know, I got divorced,
28:13
Speaker 1: I got remarried, and you know we're shopping. I got
28:16
Speaker 1: separated from my wife and I can't find her. First
28:19
Speaker 1: guy says, you know I can't find mine. You let's
28:22
Speaker 1: go looking for the wives. Walter, what your new wife?
28:25
Speaker 2: Look like.
28:26
Speaker 1: He said, well, early thirties, really big jugs, very pretty,
28:31
Speaker 1: really nice body. What's your wife look like?
28:35
Speaker 2: Is it?
28:36
Speaker 1: Never mind, let's look for.
28:37
Speaker 2: Yours now, Jackie Martina, What should you do?
28:43
Speaker 7: What should you do?
28:44
Speaker 1: If a pitbull starts humping your leg?
28:47
Speaker 2: I hate to ask for what?
28:51
Speaker 1: Let him finish? All right? What were you gonna ask?
28:56
Speaker 1: What were you gonna ask?
28:56
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, Oh, you've been coming on this
28:58
Speaker 2: show for like thirty years. I've never heard you repeat
29:01
Speaker 2: a joke. How could you have?
29:03
Speaker 1: I told you, I keep telling you. I do my
29:06
Speaker 1: research and work very hard. I run into so many
29:09
Speaker 1: people that hear me on your show, and they all say, God,
29:12
Speaker 1: it's always new jokes, and they're always funny. And he's
29:15
Speaker 1: there just enough to make Mark squirm, but not too
29:18
Speaker 1: dirty that you can't tell him. And the guys Bayville Seafood,
29:21
Speaker 1: those guys go crazy because people come in there and
29:24
Speaker 1: start telling them the jokes. They don't tell us the jokes.
29:26
Speaker 1: We will listening too.
29:28
Speaker 7: You know.
29:28
Speaker 1: At Sunday, it's my god daughter, Jesse's twins, it's his
29:33
Speaker 1: seventh birthday, and the whole family loves shrimp. So I'm
29:37
Speaker 1: gonna be loading up the shrimp from the Bayeild seafood place,
29:40
Speaker 1: And what a party we're gonna have. The beautiful kids,
29:44
Speaker 1: And I hope they're not listening to these jokes.
29:46
Speaker 2: I really doubt seven year old kids are listening to
29:48
Speaker 2: talk radio. I don't think they want to hear about Iran.
29:50
Speaker 2: But so in your house, is there a room like
29:54
Speaker 2: that's just an entire room of joke files.
29:58
Speaker 1: No, I have a garage that is and and you
30:01
Speaker 1: know in my like my documentary joke Man is on
30:05
Speaker 1: Amazon Prime, and you see the whole place is this
30:09
Speaker 1: wall to wall everything everything I ever did, you know,
30:12
Speaker 1: the videotapes and and uh, you know, loose leaves. You know,
30:16
Speaker 1: long before there was a computer, you know, there was
30:19
Speaker 1: loose leaves and loose leaves and all kinds of stuff.
30:21
Speaker 1: You know, it's actually the same joke time typed a
30:25
Speaker 1: thousand times.
30:27
Speaker 2: Now, like me, you probably have a million VHS tapes
30:30
Speaker 2: of TV shows you did, And what the hell are
30:32
Speaker 2: you ever going to do with them? You're never going
30:33
Speaker 2: to convert them?
30:34
Speaker 1: Well, I got a guy that's you know, I get
30:36
Speaker 1: them transferred a few at a time, and some some
30:39
Speaker 1: of them are pretty good quality. You know, some are
30:42
Speaker 1: horrendous and it's so fun to look at them because
30:46
Speaker 1: most VHS tapes you haven't seen in so long. You know,
30:49
Speaker 1: when's the last time you played a VHS.
30:51
Speaker 3: You know that's true, And it's.
30:53
Speaker 1: Really not expensive to get them changed. To get them
30:56
Speaker 1: changed over, you'd be very surprised, you know.
30:58
Speaker 2: Yeah. Now, Jackie Martlin will be next Saturday, not tomorrow,
31:01
Speaker 2: but a week from tomorrow, August fifteenth, you're going to
31:03
Speaker 2: be at Soul Joel's potsdown Pennsylvania with Rich Harkaway and
31:08
Speaker 2: then the big cruise in February. We're gonna be on
31:11
Speaker 2: this cruise. Let's go to jokeland dot com. You can
31:14
Speaker 2: get everything there jokeland dot com. How long are you
31:17
Speaker 2: in this cruise? It's like a week, right, you're stuck
31:19
Speaker 2: in there a week?
31:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, seven days, seven days, seven stops. It's a great cruise.
31:24
Speaker 1: It's not very expensive, and it's really gonna be fun.
31:28
Speaker 1: You know, they're flying me down there and I'm bringing
31:30
Speaker 1: my girlfriend. It's going to be a free for all.
31:32
Speaker 1: You know, it'll be great.
31:33
Speaker 2: Now, well, how do you do that? But if you
31:35
Speaker 2: do a seven nights in the same audience, all the time.
31:37
Speaker 2: You got to new new stuff every night.
31:40
Speaker 1: Well, I do a show one night, and then Richie
31:42
Speaker 1: Mundavini does the show, and then John Farrantino does the show.
31:46
Speaker 1: And one night we're going to show my documentary, and
31:48
Speaker 1: another night we're just going to sit around and tell
31:50
Speaker 1: stories and Q and A. You know, and people still
31:54
Speaker 1: have lots of questions about comedy. So it's just gonna
31:57
Speaker 1: be really really fun. You know.
31:59
Speaker 5: Yeah, he'll never get boring.
32:02
Speaker 1: He'll never get boring.
32:03
Speaker 2: Watch this documentary about Jackie's life. It's called joke Man.
32:06
Speaker 2: It's on Amazon Amazon, you can see their Amazon Prime.
32:10
Speaker 2: A lot of celebrities came in there and did it
32:12
Speaker 2: with you and Willie Nelson. Who else is in that?
32:16
Speaker 1: Mark Cuban pen Gilette, Yeah, Anthony, Tomia and Opie. Both
32:22
Speaker 1: op and Anthony are on it separately.
32:25
Speaker 2: You have to keep them separate, now, right. You can't
32:27
Speaker 2: put them in the same room.
32:28
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've been friends with both of them
32:30
Speaker 1: for forty years, So what am I going to do?
32:32
Speaker 1: You know, Artie Lang is in it. You know, everybody's
32:34
Speaker 1: in it.
32:35
Speaker 2: It's on Amazon.
32:36
Speaker 1: It's really fun.
32:36
Speaker 2: Go look at a Joke Man on Amazon Jackie Martlin
32:39
Speaker 2: got like a one minute left.
32:42
Speaker 1: All right. So a farmer comes down from the from
32:45
Speaker 1: the from the out west, and he goes to go
32:48
Speaker 1: to the movies, and he's got his pet goose with him,
32:51
Speaker 1: and the ticket girl says, I'm sorry, sir, you can't
32:53
Speaker 1: bring that thing into the movies. Well, he came all
32:56
Speaker 1: the way into town. He wants to see the movie.
32:58
Speaker 1: So he goes around the corner and puts the goose
33:00
Speaker 1: down his pants. He buys a ticket, He goes into movie,
33:03
Speaker 1: and halfway through the movie, the goose is jumping around
33:06
Speaker 1: inside his pants, so he pulls down a zipper so
33:09
Speaker 1: the goose can stick its neck out and get a
33:11
Speaker 1: little air. And this two ladies sitting next to him,
33:15
Speaker 1: and one turns the other and says, you know, myrtle,
33:18
Speaker 1: you're seeing one. You've seen them all, but this one's.
33:21
Speaker 8: Eating my popcorn.
33:27
Speaker 1: I love you man, Happy birthday to Janie and James,
33:30
Speaker 1: and I love to baby'll seafood and Mark. I appreciate you.
33:34
Speaker 1: And let's do it again soon.
33:35
Speaker 2: All right, everybody go to it. If you want to
33:37
Speaker 2: get information about the cruise or Jackie where he's appearing.
33:40
Speaker 2: Go to jokeland dot com, jokeland dot com, Jackie Martlin,
33:44
Speaker 2: thanks for being with us.
33:46
Speaker 1: Thank you, Mark, appreciate it all right.
33:48
Speaker 2: Take care. See now that's a professional. I tell him
33:51
Speaker 2: we got one minute left. You know, see does one
33:52
Speaker 2: minute that stops?
33:53
Speaker 4: Now?
33:53
Speaker 2: Most people have you say to the guests, we got
33:54
Speaker 2: one minute left, they start talking for an hour. But
33:57
Speaker 2: very good. Now, don't forget the show three hours every day.
34:01
Speaker 2: We start at nine o'clock every day. It's nine to
34:04
Speaker 2: noon every day, nine am till noon, three hours every day. Now,
34:10
Speaker 2: if you're a podcast listener, that means you get an
34:12
Speaker 2: extra hour every day. But also if you're a podcast listener,
34:15
Speaker 2: you get an extra show. There's a bonus segment that's
34:19
Speaker 2: not on the air only for podcast listeners every weekend.
34:23
Speaker 2: So if you want to hear that, just go do
34:25
Speaker 2: wherever you get podcasts, Apple, Spotify, the iHeart app, any
34:29
Speaker 2: place you get podcasts. So anyway, nine to noon, we're
34:32
Speaker 2: on nine to noon every day and then six to nine.
34:35
Speaker 2: Curtis leiwa, Larry Mente here on seven ten WR.
34:40
Speaker 1: Mark Simon, mister New York Now three hours every weekday
34:45
Speaker 1: from nine till now on seven ten Doubi.
34:50
Speaker 2: Well it we're just about a time now. It's gonna
34:53
Speaker 2: be very hot and sticky today and really for most
34:56
Speaker 2: of the weekend.
34:58
Speaker 1: Hi.
34:58
Speaker 2: Today is like ninety, but that real feel is like
35:01
Speaker 2: one hundred degrees. The city opening cooling centers all over
35:06
Speaker 2: the place. I'm looking right now, eighty six right now,
35:10
Speaker 2: real feel, one hundred and three cooling centers. You know, Hey,
35:15
Speaker 2: he's going to any supermarket and go down to where
35:17
Speaker 2: they have all the milk and the eggs. And it's
35:19
Speaker 2: freezing cold back there, freezing cold. Hey, there's a Morton
35:23
Speaker 2: Williams next door. That stuff is in the basement. Go
35:25
Speaker 2: in the basement, go the back where they have the eggs.
35:27
Speaker 2: It is freezing. It's like twenty degrees in there. You
35:31
Speaker 2: don't need a cooling that's a cooling center. Just go
35:33
Speaker 2: in there for a few seconds if you feel too hot.
35:35
Speaker 2: But I'll be back on Monday. Don't forget the shows
35:38
Speaker 2: now three hours nine to noon every day. So I'll
35:41
Speaker 2: be back Monday, nine am till noon. I'll see a
35:44
Speaker 2: Monday at nine. Have a great weekend. At seven ten
35:49
Speaker 2: WR