Latest / Xenomania / Death of a Unicorn: It's Not All Sunshine And Rainbows - Xenomania 72
Transcript
- 0:00Jon: This week on "Xenomania," join us as we learn of the restorative
- 0:04powers of unicorns, poor fathering techniques, wealthy pharmaceutical
- 0:12magnates, and destructive unicorns.
- 0:17This is "Death of a Unicorn," and we are "Xenomania."
- 0:39No, no, no.
- 0:41Ryan: are real.
- 0:43Jon: The tapestries aren't real.
- 0:45The tapestries are only real in a movie, man.
- 0:47There are no y- real unicorns.
- 0:50Kearns: I think that might be my least favorite part of the movie, how they
- 0:53figured out all of this stuff from the friggin' curtains or whatever.
- 0:58else about it was, like, somewhat fun and believable-ish if you're
- 1:01suspending your disbelief, but then they grab napkins from, like, 800
- 1:05million years ago and were like, "Well, look, it tells us how to kill them."
- 1:09Ryan: It... Well, it kill
- 1:10Jon: Wait,
- 1:11Kearns: but, like, get rid
- 1:12Jon: wait, is that turkey juice?
- 1:13Kearns: Yeah.
- 1:16Exactly.
- 1:17Jon: no.
- 1:19Ryan: The purple
- 1:19Jon: I...
- 1:21Ryan: the idea of, like, how it connects to eternal life is pretty
- 1:26much an interesting concept, and we're talking about Death of a
- 1:29Unicorn, to catch you guys up.
- 1:32Kearns: Eternal life they're taking from the old myths, that if you get
- 1:35the unicorn horn, you get the magic.
- 1:38Ryan: I never, I never, like, thought it like that, I guess.
- 1:42I thought maybe, like, how when they grab the horn, like Jenna
- 1:46Ortega, and they have, like, that flash into, like, an astral plane.
- 1:50"Okay, I understand that," but never the eternal life.
- 1:54Maybe a little healing
- 1:55Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 1:56Ryan: but that's
- 1:57Jon: Yeah, well, I, I think some of these characters prove that the unicorn
- 2:02essence does not give them eternal life.
- 2:05Kearns: true.
- 2:06They g- it heals them, right?
- 2:09Jon: it's restorative, not necessarily immortality.
- 2:13Kearns: they needed to keep it on tap for the immortality part,
- 2:17Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 2:17Kearns: you get the kinda insidious rich people ruining it for
- 2:20everybody, which makes the movie
- 2:22Jon: It's, it's always the insidious rich people, man.
- 2:26Kearns: Hey, man, we're all just working for them until the robots take
- 2:30over and they don't need us anymore.
- 2:32Ryan: Judgment day.
- 2:35Jon: It's, it's only s-
- 2:36Kearns: on a Friday.
- 2:37Ryan: Oh,
- 2:38Jon: it's only slightly coincidental that we're recording this on
- 2:41International Workers' Day too.
- 2:43Kearns: that is, that is a nice coincidence, and the fact that that kept
- 2:47popping up today made it even better.
- 2:49Ryan: Well,
- 2:49Jon: Yeah.
- 2:50Ryan: viva
- 2:50Kearns: Yeah.
- 2:52Mm-hmm.
- 2:53Yeah,
- 2:53Jon: Start the revolution.
- 2:55Kearns: will not be televised.
- 2:57But uh, Death of a Unicorn was a fun ride, and I liked it because it was easy.
- 3:02It was... It's on Netflix.
- 3:04It was...
- 3:05Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 3:06Kearns: And, uh, we watched it, like, on release weekend or whatever
- 3:10and just enjoyed a nice little fun movie in the living room, and that's
- 3:13what it is, a nice little fun movie.
- 3:15Jon: Yeah.
- 3:18Ryan: is.
- 3:18Jon: Yeah, and I mean, it, it's got those class warfare undertones
- 3:23to it if you wanna pick it up,
- 3:25Kearns: Yeah
- 3:26Jon: you don't, have to.
- 3:28Kearns: It's not heavy like Don't Look Up or anything like that though.
- 3:30It's,
- 3:31Jon: No
- 3:31Kearns: there, but it's got a star-studded staff.
- 3:35Or staff, oh my God, cast.
- 3:37Ryan: Yes.
- 3:38Kearns: staff . The, the craftspeople were great on this movie.
- 3:42Jon: Yeah, like it was good craft services.
- 3:46Ryan: They got
- 3:46Kearns: Damn.
- 3:46Jon: the, the grip was really good too.
- 3:51Kearns: Love when you talk dirty to us, John.
- 3:54Ryan: Talk about the lighting.
- 3:55Jon: no, Death of a U- the Death of a Unicorn cast is really solid from...
- 4:01Really, I- it's not a large cast, but they really cast this movie well.
- 4:06Kearns: Agree.
- 4:07break the bank
- 4:08Jon: And
- 4:08Kearns: necessarily.
- 4:09Jon: no.
- 4:10Kearns: but Richard E. Grant above his weight every time.
- 4:14Téa Leoni
- 4:14Jon: Yay.
- 4:16Kearns: amazing.
- 4:19Jon: Yeah, she doesn't come up often enough in stuff anymore, I feel like.
- 4:23Ryan: No.
- 4:24Jon: sh-
- 4:24Kearns: her before she...
- 4:26Jon: she's got a show that I'm, not aware of.
- 4:29Yeah, I guess she does.
- 4:30Madam Secretary she's been in, but like that's over for a while now too.
- 4:35Kearns: Yep.
- 4:35Jon: She just... She's usually good in what she's in.
- 4:39I'm surprised we don't see more of her.
- 4:41Kearns: Uh, oh, she'll be infamous for Bad Boys for her entire career.
- 4:45That
- 4:46Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 4:46Kearns: her above water forever.
- 4:48Um,
- 4:49Jon: Yeah.
- 4:49Ryan: The
- 4:50Kearns: and then, and there's a couple of, like, young stars in this too.
- 4:53Will Poulter and Jenna Ortega.
- 4:55Jenna Ortega's the it girl right now, obviously.
- 4:57Jon: Yeah.
- 4:58Kearns: But Will
- 4:59Jon: We're
- 5:19Ryan: We're the Millers?
- 5:20We're the
- 5:20Jon: the Millers.
- 5:21Kearns: We're the
- 5:22Jon: Like,
- 5:22Kearns: great movie.
- 5:23Ryan: Oh, God, yeah,
- 5:24Jon: it's thir- it, he's 13 years older, and he doesn't
- 5:27look any different except taller
- 5:30Kearns: And
- 5:30Jon: than he was in We're the Millers.
- 5:32Ryan: APAC app,
- 5:33Kearns: Yeah.
- 5:34Everybody's trying to get MCU bodies these days.
- 5:37They're trying to-- Everybody's trying to get into the next
- 5:38jump of the superhero stuff.
- 5:41Ryan: We need a Chris Farley body, all right?
- 5:44Jon: I'm working on it, guys.
- 5:48Kearns: We trust in your, in your process.
- 5:51Oh, man.
- 5:52Ryan: by the river though, John.
- 5:54Please,
- 5:55Jon: Yeah.
- 5:55I mean, maybe.
- 5:56Kearns: And then
- 5:57Jon: Maybe.
- 5:57Kearns: we, we have to mention Paul Rudd because that's John's
- 6:00favorite part of this movie.
- 6:02Jon: Oh, I mean, listen, I like Paul Rudd.
- 6:04I thought he was good in this, but Paul Rudd is not the
- 6:08lovable Paul Rudd in this movie.
- 6:10Ryan: No, he's not.
- 6:11Kearns: He's not the Paul Rudd that goes on Conan and, and
- 6:13shills out Mac & Me clips in this.
- 6:16you wanna punch him in the face the whole movie.
- 6:18I agree.
- 6:20Ryan: But I
- 6:20Jon: He's there.
- 6:21Ryan: it's a redemption
- 6:22Jon: Go ahead.
- 6:23Ryan: You know, he d-- I feel like there is a bit of redemption and, like,
- 6:28interwoven, um, as we were talking about, like, the class struggle, it
- 6:33Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 6:33Ryan: nicely with the dialogue and the script and the actions of the characters.
- 6:37But I feel like it's a redemption family arc, especially for Paul Rudd, 'cause
- 6:42yeah, you do hate him, but I feel like it changes by the time the, the movie ends.
- 6:48Kearns: Yeah.
- 6:49Jon: I mean, it, it gets there.
- 6:50Like the last 15 minutes we get there.
- 6:53But it's a whole-- It's an hour and a half of him doing exactly the opposite
- 6:59of what a good father would do every opportunity he has to be a good father.
- 7:04Kearns: not about his
- 7:05Jon: Yep, yep.
- 7:06Kearns: messed up.
- 7:08Jon: Yep, and, with the excuse that this is what mom would've wanted,
- 7:12Kearns: Mm.
- 7:13Jon: doing this for you.
- 7:15You know, the, all those, all those sort of typical excuses.
- 7:19Kearns: Cliche white collar upper middle
- 7:21Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 7:22Kearns: crap.
- 7:22Yeah.
- 7:23Ryan: Yep.
- 7:24Kearns: "I
- 7:24Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 7:24Kearns: game," that kind of
- 7:27Jon: Yeah.
- 7:28Yeah, and I'm starting to reach a point with Jenna Ortega that we gotta
- 7:33start casting her a little older.
- 7:35Kearns: Yeah, I agree.
- 7:36It's, it's getting a little ridiculous.
- 7:38Jon: we, we gotta, we gotta start... Like she... I don't know what
- 7:42age she's supposed to be in this.
- 7:44It seems pretty young.
- 7:46Ryan: Sixteen maybe, seventeen,
- 7:49Jon: And I mean, we're... I feel like we're beyond that being something we
- 7:53should be doing with Jenna Ortega.
- 7:55Ryan: I mean, she's got two more seasons of Wednesday,
- 7:58Kearns: That's the problem.
- 8:00Ryan: it's, it's still in high school, so they still are gonna
- 8:02like typecast her in that role, and she did that, um, that recent movie
- 8:07with, um, the guy from Sherlock who plays Watson, where he's the teacher.
- 8:14Jon: Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
- 8:16I don't...
- 8:17Ryan: it's not worthy of remembering the title basically, but it's like they still
- 8:21typecast her as like the student, kid,
- 8:25Jon: Yeah.
- 8:25Ryan: you know?
- 8:26Jon: Yeah, she-- I mean, she's 23.
- 8:28Like we're, you know, we're not, we're not like Ralph Macchio "Karate Kid" at
- 8:34this point, but we're getting there.
- 8:36Kearns: Yeah.
- 8:37Ryan: yeah.
- 8:37Jon: we're not the "Stranger Things" kids,
- 8:40Kearns: Right.
- 8:40And it
- 8:41Jon: but we're getting pretty close.
- 8:42Kearns: it with a young lady as... And a, a young Ralph
- 8:45Macchio is a different animal
- 8:47Ryan: Yeah.
- 8:48Kearns: cast as the Karate Kid.
- 8:50Jon: Yeah.
- 8:51Kearns: who also have tabs open on feet pic websites
- 8:55Ryan: Uh,
- 8:55Kearns: are, that are stalking Ralph Macchio.
- 8:59Jon: Well, I mean, there's plenty of shoeless scenes of Ralph Macchio in
- 9:04"The Karate Kid," you don't need it.
- 9:05Kearns: know.
- 9:07Ryan: Fair.
- 9:08Kearns: That's a good point.
- 9:08It's getting a little hot in here.
- 9:11All right So about the movie, about the movie and not
- 9:14Ralph Macchio's perfect feet.
- 9:16Uh, hmm.
- 9:18Let's see.
- 9:19So we get a pretty interesting start.
- 9:21you immediately know the stakes are low as far as character
- 9:23development and things like that.
- 9:24They just throw these, like, profile sheets in your face.
- 9:27Paul Rudd, bad dad.
- 9:29Um,
- 9:29Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 9:30Kearns: I never use the character names.
- 9:31I always use the actor names.
- 9:33Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 9:34Kearns: is the troubled teenager with anxiety who
- 9:37Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 9:38Kearns: weed and has pimples.
- 9:39Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 9:40And yeah, I, I'm sure... I didn't go, go searching for this information,
- 9:45but I'm sure the Ridley name is some sort of nod to "Alien."
- 9:49Ryan: Yeah.
- 9:50Kearns: Probably.
- 9:52Jon: You just turn it upside down.
- 9:54Ripley, Ridley, it works.
- 9:56Kearns: It does.
- 9:56It does.
- 9:58Ryan: I like
- 9:58Kearns: And...
- 9:58Jon: It's a similar concept of a character.
- 10:02Kearns: Now, this is Xenomania, so the second you bring in a reference to
- 10:05Alien, we all be quiet and let you cook.
- 10:08So keep cooking.
- 10:09If there's anything left to throw on that barbecue, keep cooking.
- 10:12Jon: No, no, that's, that's basically it.
- 10:15Uh, you know, she's... It's, it's a similar type of character, sort
- 10:19of reluctant hero, uh, the v- very ignored for a lot of the time.
- 10:27Like, she's consistently throughout the movie, Ridley is the one who has a
- 10:31clue of what's going on and what to do,
- 10:33Ryan: Yes.
- 10:34Jon: and it's... And she gets treated very much like the,
- 10:38"Hey, you're seen, not heard.
- 10:40Get in, get o- get back over there.
- 10:42We're not listening to you.
- 10:43You're silly."
- 10:45Kearns: Yep.
- 10:45Ryan: Which is similar to the Ripley character, at least in Aliens.
- 10:49Kearns: She's cast
- 10:50Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 10:51Kearns: the weird kid by the rich family that they're going to stay
- 10:53with, and then she's cast aside
- 10:55Jon: Yep.
- 10:55Kearns: as a liability who's trying to get the uber promotion in the corporation
- 11:00the rich family that they're staying with.
- 11:02So she's got nothing going for her.
- 11:04Is there-- Does she get in with the help at all?
- 11:06Yeah,
- 11:07Jon: Yeah, she does sort of get Griff to come around to her thinking.
- 11:12Ryan: Griff.
- 11:13Jon: He... She does a good job with Griffin, who I l- I love that character.
- 11:17And he's just so, like,
- 11:20Kearns: cool.
- 11:20Jon: right.
- 11:21Yeah.
- 11:22Yeah, like, "I've worked for you for how long and you don't know
- 11:25that I have kids?" You know, that, that whole thing, you know?
- 11:28He's
- 11:30Kearns: Which does more
- 11:31Jon: the put-upon.
- 11:32Kearns: awful the family is than anything else.
- 11:35Jon: Exactly, exactly.
- 11:36And it, I mean, it's sort of unnecessary because as soon as each one of the,
- 11:41that family opens their mouth, you know they're pretty terrible people.
- 11:46Ryan: Yeah, I mean, in the beginning you feel like Richard
- 11:49E. Grant he's, like, dying, Odell.
- 11:53dying
- 11:54Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 11:54Ryan: a little more calmer, but then once he jumps back up, you can just
- 11:59see he's like, he's just a jerk.
- 12:01And
- 12:02Jon: He
- 12:02Ryan: getting vibes when he dressed up in the safari outfit, like from Alligator?
- 12:07'Cause that's where my
- 12:08Jon: Oh, yeah.
- 12:09Yeah, for sure.
- 12:10Yeah.
- 12:10Yeah, I, I-- So I thought about that, and for some reason it, it also
- 12:15flashed to "Ready or Not" as well.
- 12:18I d- I don't know what that connection was, but it felt very "Ready or Not."
- 12:22Kearns: it's the... Yeah, that's very ready or not.
- 12:25It's, um, if the
- 12:26Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 12:27Kearns: out, like, weapons and started hunting the poors, it wouldn't have
- 12:31surprised me at all during this
- 12:33Jon: No.
- 12:34No, not at all.
- 12:35Kearns: they get, they sort of throw other people in front of the danger.
- 12:39Ryan: Yep.
- 12:40Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 12:41Kearns: life at all.
- 12:41It's all about getting that unicorn blood.
- 12:44Jon: Yep.
- 12:45But e-even early on when Odel is still the dying version of Odel, you
- 12:52can tell he's not been a good dude.
- 12:54I mean, y- number one, he's a pharmaceutical company founder, executive.
- 13:00A--
- 13:01Kearns: Instant
- 13:01Jon: he's probably done some awful things in that aspect, and, uh, he's just...
- 13:07You can just tell that, that he's that kind of person, even sick and dying.
- 13:12He's...
- 13:13Ryan: It, it's also his face.
- 13:14Richard E. Grant has such a villain
- 13:16Jon: Well, yeah, yeah.
- 13:18Like, he, he's a very good villain.
- 13:19He's a very, very emotive villain in this.
- 13:23Like, he's fa- You can just, he's, you know... You look at that character
- 13:27and you're like, "Eh, villain." And then you get Téa Leoni and she's, you
- 13:33know, the, sort of the stereotypical rich female villain, you know?
- 13:37The,
- 13:38Kearns: Yep.
- 13:40Jon: you know, the, the, "I'm gonna do this for my foundation"
- 13:44Kearns: It's very
- 13:44Jon: person.
- 13:45Kearns: very cold.
- 13:47Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 13:47Ryan: Martha Stewart?
- 13:49Kearns: Completely one... Martha Stewart has more warmth, even if it's fake,
- 13:52Jon: Yeah.
- 13:53Yeah.
- 13:54Ryan: that, that's because of Snoop Dogg.
- 13:56Kearns: Hmm, maybe.
- 13:58Jon: I mean, S-Snoop
- 13:59Kearns: still had
- 13:59Jon: d- Snoop humanized her, but she-- Yeah, that's what it is.
- 14:05You just said it, Kearns, it's the home.
- 14:07Kearns: Hmm.
- 14:08Jon: Martha Stewart was always sort of associated with home,
- 14:11not business, not foundations.
- 14:14It was, she was the home lady, so there, there was always that
- 14:18comfort element with her that you don't get from a Téa, Téa Leoni.
- 14:23Yeah.
- 14:23Yeah.
- 14:24Like, she's like your rich mom, you know?
- 14:27Like, if Mom had a ton of money to do all that stuff all
- 14:29day, that's what she would be.
- 14:31Kearns: That's the script, yeah.
- 14:35Jon: The T-Téa Leoni as a mom is all about her,
- 14:39Ryan: Yeah.
- 14:39Jon: and it...
- 14:41Kearns: Exactly she, did they ever do where she's like a little bit
- 14:45upset that hubby is, healed at all?
- 14:49I, I don't know if I was expecting that and it didn't come, or I think
- 14:53Jon: Yeah.
- 14:53Kearns: be the case, where I was expecting her to be like, "Ah, damn it,
- 14:55Jon: I,
- 14:56Kearns: live."
- 14:57Jon: I,
- 14:57Ryan: thought...
- 14:57Jon: I think it was more expectation than Something that they did and that's
- 15:03probably kind of a missed opportunity.
- 15:06Ryan: do
- 15:06Kearns: Yeah.
- 15:06Ryan: see their facial reactions though?
- 15:08'Cause I feel like their faces also tell a story in the movie, and I
- 15:12got that feeling too when she finds out he's alive or when she sees him.
- 15:16Her face is,
- 15:17Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 15:18Ryan: of course because, oh God, he's, like, walking around.
- 15:21But it's also like, "Ah, crap, he's not dying." Because
- 15:25Kearns: short
- 15:25Jon: Or,
- 15:26Ryan: with it in- when he's
- 15:28Jon: or is it, "Oh crap, he's not dying and that means I probably
- 15:33have to have sex with him again"?
- 15:36Kearns: many more times.
- 15:37He's back to, like, his good old boy days.
- 15:40Jon: Yeah.
- 15:41Ryan: man.
- 15:41Hoo-ha.
- 15:42Kearns: Or the short story, "The Window," is the one where the wife is met with
- 15:46people who say that her husband has passed in a train accident, she's... At
- 15:50first she's shocked and numb, and then she goes upstairs and looks out the
- 15:53window and sees, like, this world of opportunity now that he's gone and she
- 15:56doesn't have to live under him anymore.
- 15:58And she walks downstairs again after that's passed, and
- 16:01he walks in the front door.
- 16:02They were wrong.
- 16:04And
- 16:04Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 16:05Kearns: I- It's interpretive.
- 16:06She either passes out or... At that point, like one of the most bleak
- 16:12short stories you could ever read.
- 16:14Ryan: Sounds
- 16:15Kearns: That's... I just made the connection from what you guys were talking
- 16:17Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 16:18Kearns: so
- 16:18Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 16:18Kearns: little diatribe.
- 16:20Jon: I don't see her character as having that sort of interest even.
- 16:24I, like she's got... If he dies she's got the money, but if he lives
- 16:30she's still kinda got the money too.
- 16:32Like it, it,
- 16:33Ryan: She's just gotta have
- 16:34Jon: there's plenty of money in that situation.
- 16:37Kearns: roots, since I can't say the other words, moms that's just numb and floating.
- 16:43Yeah.
- 16:44Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 16:45And
- 16:45Ryan: so
- 16:46Jon: they have their ob- their child of privilege, ol' Shepherd,
- 16:50Kearns: Mm-hmm.
- 16:51Jon: Will Poulter.
- 16:52Kearns: out of the whole bunch.
- 16:52He is brutal.
- 16:54Jon: because he's not earned it in any way.
- 16:57Kearns: I just hate
- 16:57Jon: He...
- 16:58Kearns: I cannot stand them.
- 17:00Jon: Yeah.
- 17:00Yeah.
- 17:01I mean, Odell, like without a backstory, Odell has at least done something
- 17:05to earn the money that he has.
- 17:08Ta Leonie's character, I'm blanking on her name,
- 17:11Ryan: Belinda.
- 17:11Jon: has done...
- 17:12Belinda has done things to
- 17:15Ryan: Belinda.
- 17:16Jon: earn the money.
- 17:17Ryan: Linda.
- 17:19Kearns: Belinda
- 17:21Jon: and Shepherd's just sort of the spoiled rich kid who's like s- he, I
- 17:25mean, he has some interest in creating something for himself, but it's all like
- 17:30derivative and it's all hair-brained and, you know, and then he becomes
- 17:37addicted to ground unicorn horn.
- 17:39Ryan: was
- 17:39Kearns: I
- 17:40Ryan: Just,
- 17:42Kearns: would?
- 17:42Ryan: how he lines up, how they line up those scenes.
- 17:44'Cause I was like, "What
- 17:45Kearns: Yeah.
- 17:46Ryan: I'm like, "No, don't.
- 17:47Oh, okay.
- 17:48You're
- 17:48Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 17:50Ryan: But as he keeps
- 17:51Jon: Yeah.
- 17:52Ryan: "I wonder what the side effects are?" Like,
- 17:55Kearns: God.
- 17:55Jon: I mean-
- 17:56Kearns: massive, massive erections is my guess.
- 18:00That's why they, poach, um, rhinos.
- 18:02You know that.
- 18:04They poach
- 18:05Jon: Yeah.
- 18:05Kearns: a full-grown male rhino, take the horn, and then they sell it on the
- 18:08black market because there are people out there that think it gives you...
- 18:12Ryan: Oh,
- 18:13Jon: Yeah, virility.
- 18:15Ryan: that's-- no.
- 18:17That--
- 18:17Jon: Yeah.
- 18:17Kearns: is a YouTube-safe
- 18:19Jon: I mean, I don't think it's true, but that's, that's what the belief is.
- 18:23Kearns: they've disproven it all the time.
- 18:24That's why if you go into the gas station, the boner pills that are there, one
- 18:28that'll be like White Rhino and stuff like
- 18:31Jon: Yeah.
- 18:31Kearns: silly goose stuff.
- 18:33And it's funny too 'cause there's no r- there's no rhino horn in those.
- 18:39Ryan: I
- 18:39Jon: No.
- 18:39Ryan: It's just
- 18:40Kearns: I've never looked at them and read the back or anything,
- 18:42but I'm-- it's probably horny goat weed would be my guess.
- 18:46Ryan: they're always behind the
- 18:47Jon: Yeah.
- 18:47Ryan: right by the checkout counter, and I'm like, "Yeah,
- 18:50this is great advertising, guys."
- 18:52Kearns: They
- 18:53Jon: So I- I'll, I'll t-
- 18:55Kearns: right, John's ready to...
- 18:56Jon: on this.
- 18:56Hey, I'll tangent on this.
- 18:58Have you ever seen somebody buy them?
- 19:00Kearns: No.
- 19:01Ryan: No.
- 19:02Jon: I haven't either.
- 19:03Does anybody actually buy them?
- 19:05Kearns: dude who did, actually.
- 19:06I do know a guy who did, and he took like six packets of different ones, and
- 19:11Jon: man.
- 19:12Kearns: heart palpitations.
- 19:14Jon: Yeah, see, that's what I think they do.
- 19:16I think they make your heart explode.
- 19:18Ryan: So it's
- 19:19Kearns: Yeah.
- 19:20But he was-- There
- 19:21Ryan: Viagra.
- 19:22Kearns: of stuff involved in that cocktail that, that weekend
- 19:24'cause we were hanging out.
- 19:26It was our White Plains days.
- 19:27He used to live down there.
- 19:29And it wasn't like he was going home just to try it either.
- 19:32There was another human with him that was part of the ordeal.
- 19:36Yeah, but I think that it
- 19:37Jon: Oof.
- 19:37Kearns: that he couldn't
- 19:38Jon: Oof.
- 19:38Those,
- 19:39Kearns: that performing might have ended him.
- 19:41Was kind of the way it went.
- 19:43Ryan: he have a Four Loko on top of it?
- 19:45That would've
- 19:45Kearns: No, this is before Four Loko, brother.
- 19:47I
- 19:48Ryan: Ooh.
- 19:49Jon: are the really untested boner pills then.
- 19:55Kearns: Oh, yeah.
- 19:57Jon: Those
- 19:57Kearns: mean, that
- 19:58Jon: are...
- 19:59Kearns: era when you could get meth at the gas station.
- 20:01Jon: Yeah, they, they... Which sorta comes up in "Death of a Unicorn,"
- 20:06like they take credit for fen-phen.
- 20:09Remember fen-phen?
- 20:11Kearns: That's a nod to the, uh, the crisis of the oaps,
- 20:15Jon: Yeah.
- 20:16Kearns: list- dear listeners.
- 20:18Jon: Yeah, fen,
- 20:19Kearns: many, too many
- 20:19Jon: was the
- 20:20Kearns: statements for us to say.
- 20:22Jon: fen-phen was the pre-opioid pharmaceutical crisis.
- 20:28Like they're marketing essentially meth to people as a weight loss
- 20:33drug and it didn't go well.
- 20:36Ryan: I could imagine everyone got addicted very quickly.
- 20:41Jon: It was in everything too, like anything diet related had that in it
- 20:47Kearns: Oh, I'm sure.
- 20:48Jon: Uh, s- the SlimFast maybe didn't, but SlimFast was also... Like, SlimFast
- 20:53is also based on, like, the we're gonna load you up with a ton of protein so
- 20:57you're never hungry kinda concept.
- 20:59Ryan: delicious, I'm just saying.
- 21:01The vanilla one?
- 21:01Jon: Ah, see, no, I never liked, I never liked it.
- 21:05Kearns: like a petroleum taste to me.
- 21:07Jon: Yep.
- 21:07Kearns: Like it
- 21:07Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 21:08Yeah.
- 21:09Kearns: to drink liquefied, um, I guess petroleum jelly.
- 21:13I was trying to think
- 21:14Jon: Yeah.
- 21:14Kearns: damn brand.
- 21:17Jon: I feel, I feel like it also absorbed the flavor of the can, too.
- 21:21Kearns: Maybe.
- 21:21I didn't drink enough of them to get that deep, but it was, it was not fun.
- 21:26I was like, "Ugh." I thought it'd be like Ovaltine or something.
- 21:29Ryan: Ooh, Ovaltine.
- 21:30Jon: Oh, yeah.
- 21:32Ryan: Wait, chocolate or
- 21:33Jon: Ovaltine
- 21:34Kearns: Chocolate.
- 21:35Ryan: Oh,
- 21:36Jon: chocolate.
- 21:36Kearns: Malt's a little,
- 21:37Jon: Chocolate.
- 21:38Ryan: malt.
- 21:39Kearns: crazy.
- 21:40Ryan: The blue one?
- 21:41Jon: No.
- 21:41The
- 21:42Kearns: Nat King Cole and make
- 21:43Jon: one?
- 21:44Kearns: malt flavored Ovaltine.
- 21:46Ryan: That's what I do.
- 21:47Chestnuts
- 21:48Kearns: Yeah.
- 21:49Ryan: your open fire.
- 21:50Kearns: Baby, it's cold
- 21:51Jon: On your open fire?
- 21:53Ryan: Well,
- 21:53Jon: No, you can't sing "Baby It's Cold Out".
- 21:56Kearns: true.
- 21:57Ryan: uh,
- 21:57Jon: Ba- "Baby It's Cold Out" is canceled, man.
- 22:00You can't sing that one.
- 22:01Kearns: I mean, it should be.
- 22:04Jon: I mean,
- 22:05Kearns: I get it, but it's like I get
- 22:07Jon: I, yeah, I guess.
- 22:09Like, it's...
- 22:10Ryan: y-
- 22:10Jon: But it... I mean, it's of its time period, which is, was a bad time period.
- 22:18It
- 22:18Kearns: Yes, for women
- 22:19Jon: was a bad time period, yeah.
- 22:22Kearns: to leave, it was a
- 22:23Jon: Yeah.
- 22:25But, like, if, if you're sitting and innocently listening to that
- 22:29song, like, you don't pick that up.
- 22:30You, like, I do,
- 22:31Kearns: times for
- 22:32Jon: I never, I ne- if, until the controversy, I never
- 22:35would've thought about that.
- 22:37Kearns: we just don't, we don't go looking for
- 22:38Jon: Yeah.
- 22:39Kearns: That's our
- 22:40Jon: Yeah.
- 22:40Kearns: saying that it's like
- 22:41Jon: I mean, I'll g-
- 22:42Kearns: are, are triggered by it are looking for trouble, but the Me
- 22:45Too movement made us more aware of
- 22:47Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 22:47Kearns: like that.
- 22:48Jon: Yeah.
- 22:48I'm not above going and looking for trouble.
- 22:50Uh, it's one of my favorite sided habits, you know?
- 22:53Like,
- 22:54Ryan: Listen, w-wait,
- 22:55Jon: what can I get into, but...
- 22:57Ryan: wait till they tackle the Little Drummer Boy, all right?
- 23:01Kearns: Runner style?
- 23:01What
- 23:02Ryan: Like
- 23:02Kearns: are we talking about here?
- 23:06Ryan: oh.
- 23:08Jon: No.
- 23:09They're not, they're not gonna come for the Little Drummer
- 23:11Boy because it's too religious.
- 23:13Kearns: on my reference
- 23:16Ryan: There's
- 23:17Kearns: Ryan is picking up what I'm laying down.
- 23:19Ryan: there's so many references we can go with
- 23:21Jon: Yeah.
- 23:21Ryan: and then
- 23:22Kearns: Hey, do we have a game this week?
- 23:25Jon: Of course we have a game this week.
- 23:27Kearns: road.
- 23:27Jon: And we have steaks again this week, too.
- 23:30Kearns: Oh, no.
- 23:32Ryan: rare.
- 23:33Kearns: Now I get
- 23:34Jon: No, not edible ones.
- 23:36Kearns: stakes.
- 23:37Jon: so
- 23:38Ryan: Ooh.
- 23:38Jon: I'm just gonna tell you guys, there is a theme.
- 23:42Kearns: Okay.
- 23:42Ryan: It,
- 23:42Jon: There is a theme.
- 23:45Um- It's sla- stash three/five.
- 23:51Ryan: Okay.
- 23:52Jon: if you guess the theme within the first three movies, you get an extra.
- 23:57However, to prevent random multiple guessing per movie, every time
- 24:06you guess wrong, you lose a stash.
- 24:10Kearns: that's rough.
- 24:12Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 24:13Kearns: I like that.
- 24:14Although last time I did guess it right on the first guess, just saying.
- 24:17Jon: You did.
- 24:18You did.
- 24:18Kearns: saying.
- 24:19Jon: All
- 24:19Kearns: happening
- 24:20Jon: right.
- 24:21Movie number one.
- 24:23Stashing or slashing Xenomania alumnus Leprechaun.
- 24:30Kearns: Did I say the joke one that I was gonna say that's not serious at all?
- 24:35Jon: Sure, I'll let you get a joke one-off.
- 24:37Kearns: Are these movies where, um, Jennifer Aniston
- 24:41is in before her nose job?
- 24:44Jon: No.
- 24:45Kearns: I didn't think so.
- 24:46Okay.
- 24:47Jon: They're not.
- 24:48Kearns: Up, up, up, up, up, up, up,
- 24:50Jon: All
- 24:50Kearns: up.
- 24:51There's eight of these suckers coming, so I gotta s- I gotta slash
- 24:54Leprechaun, which feels sacrilegious.
- 24:56Are they in random order again, or are they, is this a
- 24:58Jon: They are,
- 24:59Ryan: order.
- 25:00Jon: are random.
- 25:01Kearns: Okay.
- 25:02Jon: are random.
- 25:03I know the order.
- 25:04I, I looked ahead, I know the order, but I, I did not create the order.
- 25:10Ryan: Hmm.
- 25:12I'm trying to figure out what the theme is.
- 25:15Like, I got an idea, but
- 25:17Kearns: mean, it's usually connected to what we're watching,
- 25:20and, uh, there's a leprechaun involved and a unicorn involved.
- 25:23Ryan: But it's like, would you-- Like, I have an idea, but would
- 25:26you, like, would you ex- You-- Are you looking for a specific title?
- 25:32Is the question.
- 25:33Like, if
- 25:33Kearns: Movies with mythological creatures in them.
- 25:36I'm just gonna burn a movie.
- 25:37Is that it, John?
- 25:39Jon: You got four, man.
- 25:41Kearns: I, I got... Yeah, I, I had to jump ahead of
- 25:43Ryan: Curse
- 25:43Kearns: you.
- 25:44Ryan: Curse you.
- 25:45Kearns: I was gonna wait for the next one to be sure, but I got nervous.
- 25:49Ryan: no, that's where I was going, Warp, but I was gonna say folklore, but
- 25:52I didn't think folklore would work, and I
- 25:54Kearns: Folklore
- 25:55Jon: it's, it's, it's mythological.
- 25:57It's... Some of them are not.
- 26:00Some of them are inspired by mythological more than directly mythological, but...
- 26:05Kearns: No, it's John.
- 26:06John, we gotta give it to Ryan, 'cause I did steal it like a thief in the night.
- 26:10Ryan should get the extra one
- 26:11Ryan: No, yours--
- 26:12Jon: never said it.
- 26:13Ry- you-- I wouldn't, I wouldn't have taken folklore.
- 26:16Kearns: Now you are y- you are a vicious host, John.
- 26:19Okay.
- 26:20Jon: I would not have taken folklore.
- 26:22Ryan: It's
- 26:22Kearns: he would
- 26:23Jon: All right.
- 26:23Kearns: Okay.
- 26:24Ryan: What?
- 26:25Jon: All right, so Ryan, Ryan, are you stashing or slashing Lep?
- 26:28Ryan: I'm slap-- slap shit left.
- 26:31Kearns: Lep, sounds like something you get from a bad weekend out.
- 26:35I got the lep.
- 26:37Ryan: I
- 26:37Jon: I have it by Monday.
- 26:38Kearns: Oh, boy.
- 26:40Oh, boy.
- 26:41I hope so.
- 26:42We gotta talk after the podcast.
- 26:44Somebody's got plans.
- 26:47Jon: All right, you ready for number two?
- 26:49Ah.
- 26:49Ryan: Yes.
- 26:51Jon: There we go.
- 26:52It's Antlers.
- 26:53Kearns: Antlers a lot.
- 26:55I liked Antlers a whole lot.
- 26:59I'm gonna... I-- It's a Wendigo movie, dude.
- 27:02Jon: Mm-hmm, and it's a, it's a produced by Guillermo del Toro.
- 27:07Kearns: Yeah, it's, it's double, double W for me.
- 27:09I'm gonna keep Antlers, man.
- 27:11Stash that sucker all day.
- 27:12thoroughly enjoyed this movie.
- 27:16Ryan: Oh.
- 27:16Jon: me too, and I was very surprised that it did.
- 27:20Kearns: Well, del Toro being involved made me take a little bit more,
- 27:25Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 27:25Kearns: but it does have its weak moments for sure, but
- 27:29Jon: Yeah.
- 27:30Kearns: really good.
- 27:32Jon: Yeah, it works though.
- 27:33Ryan: I gotta slash it.
- 27:34I never seen it.
- 27:36Jon: You haven't seen Antlers?
- 27:37Ryan: I wrote it down.
- 27:39I wrote it
- 27:39Kearns: He did write it down.
- 27:40Ryan: card.
- 27:41So I, I'm-- Once you said Wendigo, Guillermo del Toro, sold.
- 27:46I love a good Wendigo story.
- 27:48They actually, um, they're coming out with a, a Wendigo movie that's, like, got like
- 27:53the 1950s creature feature vibes, which,
- 27:56Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 27:57I didn't re- Just looking at this poster, I didn't realize how many
- 28:01of this year's Academy Awards related people were in this.
- 28:06I remember Jesse Plemons, but Amy Madigan is in there too.
- 28:09Kearns: Amy Madigan is on fire lately.
- 28:13Jon: Plus Guillermo.
- 28:14Kearns: Keri Russell.
- 28:17Not
- 28:17Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 28:18Kearns: what you were saying, but Keri Russell.
- 28:19Um,
- 28:20Jon: Yep.
- 28:21Kearns: Antlers was a great addition to this, John.
- 28:23Much respect.
- 28:24Jon: Okay.
- 28:25Nice.
- 28:25Good, good, good.
- 28:26Let's see how you feel about the next one.
- 28:30The Ritual.
- 28:31Kearns: thankful that I have the extra one now.
- 28:34Ritual too.
- 28:35I enjoyed this movie, um, a whole lot too
- 28:40Jon: I did too.
- 28:40I, I was surprised because this was the time that I wasn't sold
- 28:45on the Netflix original thing.
- 28:47Kearns: Well, this is stolen from Laird Barron.
- 28:49if you read Laird Barron, Blackburn's Baby is a take on the Wendigo story
- 28:54or the Wendigo concept, but it's a, it's a stag in the, the woods, and
- 28:59there's a cult culture around it, and there's a hunting party set upon it.
- 29:03But they're all just a ritualistic sacrifice, and they don't know it.
- 29:08it's
- 29:08Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 29:09Kearns: with, like, a couple of changes here with basically just
- 29:12zooming in on the hunting party as the group of friends going in
- 29:16Jon: Yeah.
- 29:17Ryan: Sounds cool.
- 29:18I gotta slash it.
- 29:19I've never seen it
- 29:21Jon: You didn't see this one either, Ryan?
- 29:23Ryan: I
- 29:24Kearns: The Ritual is, like, a mainstay in modern horror.
- 29:26You gotta watch it.
- 29:28Jon: Yeah.
- 29:29Kearns: important to you than probably
- 29:31Jon: I wrote it down.
- 29:32Ryan: down.
- 29:33Kearns: That's good.
- 29:34Ryan: That's the best I got right
- 29:37Kearns: know what it's, it is?
- 29:37Like on a s- if I have a sick day, I usually rip through like
- 29:40three or four of these suckers.
- 29:42Ryan: Oh, I'm sleeping.
- 29:43Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 29:44Kearns: I, I couldn't sleep on my last ones, unfortunately, but I tried.
- 29:49Ryan: Yeah.
- 29:51Kearns: The Ritual,
- 29:52Jon: right.
- 29:53Kearns: addition.
- 29:54Now, what mythological creature would this thing be?
- 29:57Jon: And,
- 29:58Kearns: Sort of like an...
- 29:59Jon: I, I, yeah, I sort of prefaced this after you guessed it with
- 30:02some of them are not directly but inspired by other mythological
- 30:08beings, which will become clear soon.
- 30:11Kearns: Got it.
- 30:11Gotcha.
- 30:13Jon: Um, all right, movie number four.
- 30:17Kearns: Oh, we work with this
- 30:18Jon: Krampus.
- 30:20Ryan: I'll stash this.
- 30:21I know this film.
- 30:23Kearns: This one also was another movie that was way better than
- 30:26I thought it was going to be.
- 30:28Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 30:29Kearns: Way
- 30:29Jon: I've liked this more every time I've watched it.
- 30:32The first time it was kinda just okay, but I've, I've really grown
- 30:36to like this movie quite a bit.
- 30:37Ryan: seen the, um, uncut version as well?
- 30:41Kearns: Have
- 30:42Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 30:42Ryan: It's, uh, I b- I haven't seen it either, but does it add
- 30:46more or is it still like... Yeah.
- 30:49Okay.
- 30:49Jon: A lot of the times with the uncut ones, I don't notice unless I watch
- 30:53them, like, almost consecutively.
- 30:57Kearns: Which is kinda tough on the whole
- 30:59Jon: Yeah.
- 30:59Yeah.
- 31:00Kearns: And then, I
- 31:00Jon: Yeah.
- 31:01Kearns: of dialogue.
- 31:02Like, rarely will you get, like, a sick cut scene that they had to get rid of
- 31:05for some reason, 'cause they keep all the good stuff in the movie for a reason.
- 31:10Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 31:10And if you watch it on physical, it's often the director's cut anyways,
- 31:14so they're adding that all back.
- 31:16Kearns: Yeah.
- 31:16Yeah,
- 31:18Ryan: Yeah, this-- They have a, a lot of good keepers.
- 31:21Um, the gingerbread scene.
- 31:23I love the, was it the, the clown?
- 31:27it a Jack in
- 31:27Kearns: that was creepy.
- 31:29Ryan: Love
- 31:29Kearns: I to slash it.
- 31:33I have to slash it
- 31:34Ryan: I, I, I mean compared to
- 31:35Kearns: I have two left and there's four left, I think, right?
- 31:40Four left.
- 31:41Ryan: Four
- 31:42Jon: Yep.
- 31:42Four... We're halfway through.
- 31:43You both have two stashes and two slashes.
- 31:48Kearns: Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
- 31:50Jon: Let's see.
- 31:51Kearns: He wrote
- 31:51Jon: Let's see if you guys are gonna be...
- 31:54Ryan: three slashes.
- 31:56Jon: Yes, you have two left.
- 31:58Ryan: okay.
- 31:58I was like, "Wait a minute."
- 32:00Jon: You have two of each left.
- 32:01Ryan: got a
- 32:02Jon: I, I've got it all written down, man,
- 32:06Ryan: I just...
- 32:06Kearns: Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
- 32:08Jon: weeks and weeks of this.
- 32:10All right, next.
- 32:12Kearns: Oh, I really like this one too.
- 32:14Oh my God.
- 32:16What a great reference to mythological creatures as well.
- 32:19This movie really punched above its weight at, at, at the time.
- 32:22When I
- 32:22Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 32:23Kearns: blown away.
- 32:25I
- 32:25Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 32:27Kearns: and then Trollhunter, like, within a week of each other too, and I
- 32:30was like, "What is happening? Why are movies so good now?" And then nothing like
- 32:34that came out for another 10, 15 years.
- 32:38Jon: Yeah.
- 32:38Yep.
- 32:39Kearns: Um, I'm
- 32:40Jon: Yeah.
- 32:41Kearns: slashing this.
- 32:43Jon: I like what Andre Ovredal has done.
- 32:45Kearns: What else has he done?
- 32:47Jon: Um, he did Autopsy of Jane Doe, which love Autopsy of Jane Doe.
- 32:54Kearns: Another phenomenal movie.
- 32:55Um, I'm gonna have to stash Trollhunter, and I know I'm gonna regret it 'cause
- 33:01it is amazing, but it is... It's more like Krampus is to me, where it's a,
- 33:05it's a fun ride kinda movie, but it's
- 33:07Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 33:08Kearns: And a found footage movie usually doesn't make its way into my
- 33:11slash, or stash piles, but here we are.
- 33:16Jon: Yep.
- 33:16Ryan: I wrote it down.
- 33:18It's
- 33:18Kearns: one does 'cause
- 33:19Jon: Y- you haven't, you haven't seen this either, have you?
- 33:22Ryan: let's just slash it.
- 33:23I wrote it though.
- 33:24It's
- 33:24Kearns: Bro,
- 33:25Ryan: It's, it's my new catchphrase.
- 33:27I
- 33:27Jon: Ryan.
- 33:30Kearns: That's
- 33:30Jon: Ryan.
- 33:31Ryan: Listen,
- 33:31Kearns: Real.
- 33:46Ryan: long list, but I've seen Seven Samurai.
- 33:49I'll always say that.
- 33:52Jon: Okay.
- 33:53All right.
- 33:53Kearns: You only got one stash left and we have three more movies.
- 33:56This is gonna sting.
- 33:57Jon: It is g- it is gonna sting because I remember two of the three that are left.
- 34:02Kearns: No.
- 34:05Jon: All right, next.
- 34:07Kearns: Oh, let's stash.
- 34:10Without, without exception, this must get stashed.
- 34:13Ryan: know this film.
- 34:15Kearns: I should have
- 34:15Jon: Now.
- 34:16Kearns: coming.
- 34:18I was so excited when you finally watched this.
- 34:20Ryan: It's so good.
- 34:20I
- 34:21Jon: Me too.
- 34:21Ryan: we cover it again.
- 34:22I gotta get the, uh, Criterion version of it.
- 34:25That's how much I do love this film.
- 34:27It's,
- 34:27Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 34:28Ryan: so well done.
- 34:29It's,
- 34:30Jon: Yep.
- 34:30Yep.
- 34:32Kearns: I can't watch it because it makes me so-- And now that I have
- 34:34children too, I watched this for the first time before I had kids.
- 34:38Now that I have
- 34:38Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 34:39Kearns: it impossible to get through.
- 34:40It's such a tough movie.
- 34:41I love it.
- 34:42Ryan: That's when you make it a family night.
- 34:45Jon: I don't know if I ever noticed that tagline before either.
- 34:49"Innocence has a power evil cannot imagine."
- 34:52Kearns: Hmm.
- 34:55Jon: I like that.
- 34:56Kearns: heart of the movie, yeah, that she does escape.
- 34:59Okay.
- 35:00Ryan: just...
- 35:01Kearns: So now
- 35:02Jon: All right.
- 35:03Kearns: the next two.
- 35:04Jon: You gotta slash the next two, and Ryan, you still have choices to make.
- 35:09You have one and one.
- 35:12Let's see how much this sting is gonna be
- 35:15Ryan: Ooh.
- 35:17Jon: There's The Shape of Water.
- 35:18Kearns: the Trollhunter for The Shape of Water for sure, but
- 35:21this doesn't, like, destroy me.
- 35:22I did enjoy this movie too, but between this and Pan's Labyrinth,
- 35:26I'm cool with my choice.
- 35:27Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 35:28Ryan: number one?
- 35:29That's my
- 35:30Kearns: You'll never know.
- 35:30Well, John says he didn't organize it where number one is where it is.
- 35:34It's just random.
- 35:36But...
- 35:37Jon: It is random.
- 35:38It is random.
- 35:39I do know the order this time, but it is random.
- 35:43Ryan: Pan's Labyrinth.
- 35:44I'll stash Shape of Water.
- 35:46I love Shape of
- 35:46Kearns: Nice, man.
- 35:47Respect, Ryan.
- 35:48Ryan: so good.
- 35:50Kearns: Respect.
- 35:50Ryan: Oh, I-- when,
- 35:52Jon: I don't...
- 35:52Ryan: his hand bitten off, and
- 35:54Kearns: That's the best.
- 35:55Ryan: it's very... I appreciate it because Guillermo del Toro basically did something
- 36:00with a universal horror monster that no one thought about doing, and that's
- 36:04with the creature from the Black Lagoon.
- 36:06Kearns: And it got a
- 36:07Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 36:07Kearns: trophy for it too.
- 36:08And glutes.
- 36:09Ryan: it's
- 36:09Kearns: Look at
- 36:10Jon: Yep.
- 36:10Ryan: it's a great homage, and they gave, you know, they gave the creature love.
- 36:15They gave it, like, more...
- 36:17Kearns: the back end on that thing, huh?
- 36:21Yeah.
- 36:21Jon: Yeah.
- 36:22Kearns: in love with it.
- 36:24Jon: Yeah.
- 36:25Kearns: some junk in that trunk.
- 36:27Jon: uh, probably the front end, too.
- 36:30Ryan: fins.
- 36:31Jon: I like... I really like this, this poster, too, with the pop
- 36:36of the red against all the blue.
- 36:38Kearns: I mean, that's vintage, right?
- 36:40Del Toro
- 36:41Jon: Yeah.
- 36:41Kearns: 101.
- 36:43Gotta use
- 36:43Jon: Yep.
- 36:44Kearns: And he
- 36:44Jon: Yep.
- 36:45Kearns: he put steroids under that and then set it loose in Frankenstein.
- 36:49Ryan: Yeah, he did.
- 36:50Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 36:51Kearns: Yeah, he loves
- 36:51Jon: Yep.
- 36:52Yep.
- 36:52Kearns: man.
- 36:52I really want him to do
- 36:53Jon: Yeah.
- 36:54Kearns: of Madness.
- 36:54I'm, like, freaking out over the fact that it's so close to getting done.
- 36:58But, uh,
- 36:58Ryan: Ooh.
- 36:59Kearns: but now he's got a whole-- They threw a million projects at him as soon
- 37:03as, uh, he did Frankenstein, so now who knows what we're gonna end up getting.
- 37:08Ryan: Hellboy
- 37:09Jon: Yeah.
- 37:11We might.
- 37:12I, I wouldn't mind a Hellboy 3 if it's produced by.
- 37:17I don't, I don't want him to direct another Hellboy.
- 37:20Kearns: Yeah, I agree.
- 37:21It was a
- 37:21Jon: I think he's g- I think he's moved past it.
- 37:24Kearns: his wheelhouse right now.
- 37:26Jon: I hate... It's, it's sort...
- 37:28Ryan: gotta
- 37:28Jon: Yeah, it's sort of l- I mean, he can write it, he can produce.
- 37:33I, I, I wanna see him direct more...
- 37:36Kearns: everybody, and Ron Perlman will make it himself.
- 37:38Ryan: Ooh.
- 37:39Touche.
- 37:41Jon: All right.
- 37:43Your last one.
- 37:44You're both slashing this one, and I don't think you'll be disappointed.
- 37:49Kearns: Oh no, I am so disappointed.
- 37:51Are you kidding me?
- 37:51I love this movie.
- 37:53Ryan: I'm
- 37:53Kearns: I love this movie.
- 37:55Ryan: It's a
- 37:55Kearns: This is one of my favorites, dude.
- 37:58I've seen this movie probably 10 plus times.
- 38:00Jon: I,
- 38:00Kearns: Not even kidding.
- 38:01Uh,
- 38:03Jon: I hit a sweet spot with you this week, huh?
- 38:06Kearns: me on the last one.
- 38:07That was a good, good place for Mothman.
- 38:09Ryan: four choices.
- 38:10Four choices.
- 38:12Jon: Yeah
- 38:12Kearns: the only, like the one that I would choose this over Shape of
- 38:15Water and I would, swap Trollhunter.
- 38:18I knew I was gonna regret it, but I wanted to give that movie
- 38:20respect because it does deserve
- 38:21Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 38:22Kearns: Mothman Prophecies deserves way more respect though.
- 38:26Ryan: Shape of
- 38:26Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 38:28Kearns: Such a good horror movie.
- 38:29Mothman Prophecies will keep you tense the first time you watch it
- 38:32Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 38:32Kearns: long time.
- 38:34Jon: Uh, this is another one that grew on me.
- 38:36I did not like Mothman Prophecies when it came out, like at all.
- 38:41And I've watched it a couple times since, and I've, I've come to really like it.
- 38:45Kearns: I'm gonna have to toss it on like tonight to go to bed.
- 38:51As I let out an insane yawn on the podcast.
- 38:53Um,
- 38:54Ryan: See,
- 38:55Kearns: no.
- 38:56Ryan: it
- 38:57Jon: All right.
- 38:58Kearns: Well, I was also pretty obsessed with the, the entire S- Mothman story, the
- 39:03Jon: Yeah.
- 39:04Kearns: and everything.
- 39:05Like there's a whole
- 39:06Jon: Yeah.
- 39:06Kearns: you guys ever wanna go down a rabbit hole, that's a fun one.
- 39:09Jon: Yeah.
- 39:10The Mothman stuff is pretty interesting.
- 39:12Kearns: Quite,
- 39:13Ryan: been a long
- 39:14Kearns: quite deep.
- 39:16And back into Death of a Unicorn
- 39:19Jon: I know there are people who don't like, like this
- 39:21sort of legacy Godzilla run.
- 39:25I, I like it.
- 39:26I like, it's... Are they great movies?
- 39:28Are they like the '50s and '60s Godzillas that we grew up watching?
- 39:32No, but th- these, these work.
- 39:35They're good popcorn movies, like
- 39:36Kearns: they are
- 39:37Jon: they're good summer blockbuster fun movies.
- 39:40Kearns: time getting through the most recent movie, though.
- 39:42We were-- We watched it in the theater, me and a few buddies, and I was sitting
- 39:46there like, "Oh my God, it's like Godzilla monster fight electric bugaloo,"
- 39:49Ryan: that the one with
- 39:50Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 39:51Kearns: where they're, like, drop kicking each other.
- 39:53Yeah, they, they, uh...
- 39:55He's red, Scar.
- 39:56Ryan: Okay.
- 39:57Kearns: like an
- 39:57Jon: Yeah.
- 39:58Kearns: thing.
- 39:58Ryan: I haven't seen it
- 39:59Jon: Yeah, that one, that part- Yeah, there are parts of it that
- 40:04are, that with that one that are tough to get through, but...
- 40:07Kearns: campy stuff.
- 40:08But
- 40:08Jon: But that's also, also- Mm-hmm.
- 40:12Kearns: two.
- 40:13Jon: Yep, minus, minus one.
- 40:16But yeah, yeah, that, uh, that teaser trailer hit.
- 40:19So did the teaser trailer for "Resident Evil."
- 40:21Kearns: That actually is...
- 40:24Have you played the
- 40:25Jon: I've been...
- 40:26Ryan: The new one?
- 40:27Kearns: No,
- 40:27Ryan: No.
- 40:27I'm
- 40:28Kearns: not yet.
- 40:55Ryan: or the whatever they did for, um, like the NPCs is like they're on their own
- 41:01Kearns: Right.
- 41:11Ah, I see.
- 41:13Okay.
- 41:13Ryan: pretty cool concept.
- 41:14And the new one coming out, I don't-- It's basically Silent Hill 2 in London
- 41:20Kearns: Okay.
- 41:21Ryan: literally.
- 41:22Jon: it, is it, is the triangle-headed guy in it?
- 41:25Kearns: Always.
- 41:26Ryan: Head?
- 41:26Yes.
- 41:27He's, he, he's in
- 41:28Jon: The triangle head, yeah.
- 41:29Kearns: He's a mainstay now.
- 41:30Yeah, he's like
- 41:31Jon: The guy with the triangle.
- 41:32Ryan: Head.
- 41:33Pyramid, Pyramid Head.
- 41:35Jon: I, I'll clo- I'll close that loop while we're, Silent Hill ca- comes up.
- 41:39I watched the new one.
- 41:42Oh my
- 41:43Kearns: It's
- 41:44Jon: goodness.
- 41:45It is...
- 41:46Ryan: You...
- 41:47Jon: I, I... And disappointment would be like three steps above what this is.
- 41:52Ryan: It would
- 41:53Kearns: They could've just taken a step towards Ba- Baskin and made the movie
- 41:56Jon: It, it
- 41:57Ryan: Yeah.
- 41:58Jon: w- it would be, it would be better if they had taken the money
- 42:01and given it to another project.
- 42:03That, that's the only way you could've saved this movie, give it to somebody
- 42:07else to make something different.
- 42:09Ryan: Yes, or Parasite Eve.
- 42:11Kearns: Hoorah.
- 42:11Oh, Parasite Eve, dude.
- 42:13Let's talk about it.
- 42:15my sister's in her bedroom blasting Britney Spears, Ba- "... Hit
- 42:18Me Baby One More Time," and I'm playing Parasite Eve on my, like, TV
- 42:22screen that's this big, like this.
- 42:25Oh, and I had a, I had a, um, on the CD for that too, so when I got to
- 42:30the final boss fight, it would stop after the second transformation,
- 42:33Ryan: Oh.
- 42:34Kearns: I did everything to try to fix that freaking scratch.
- 42:37It was a Blockbuster rental too.
- 42:40I did the cleaner, I did... I even tried to use candle wax towards
- 42:43the end 'cause it was a rental,
- 42:45Ryan: cleaner?
- 42:46Kearns: dumbest idea, obviously.
- 42:47Then I spent the entire time cleaning the
- 42:49Jon: Yeah.
- 42:49Wait I, I had that experience with Dying Light 2.
- 43:03Kearns: Oh,
- 43:04Jon: Like, I played Dying Light 2 when it first came out.
- 43:07I got all the way up to the end, and like you can't even like read online how it
- 43:11ends because there's different endings depending on what, how you, what you did.
- 43:17And I get, I got... I finished the final boss.
- 43:20I finished the game.
- 43:21I got to the cut scene at the end that shows like your fate and everything.
- 43:26It would, it crashed every time for a month.
- 43:31I was just like, "Done." I went back to it like a year and a half, two years
- 43:35later, and it worked, and it was so anticlimactic I didn't even care anymore.
- 43:41Kearns: Oh, really?
- 43:42Ryan: like the
- 43:42Kearns: It was that
- 43:55Ryan: Oh,
- 43:56Kearns: hungry?
- 43:57Ryan: yeah, like, um- My friend, he had it on PC.
- 44:01It worked fine.
- 44:03My PS4 copy just, like, broke.
- 44:05And I waited for
- 44:07Kearns: Dear
- 44:07Ryan: It was more for a PS5 game based on what, uh, CD Projekt Red
- 44:11did with the engine, and it worked fine, and it was, it was worth it
- 44:15because they gave free updates.
- 44:18They did a lot just to kinda save their image.
- 44:21I mean, these are the guys who
- 44:21Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 44:23Ryan: they mess up on this game.
- 44:24But it turned out to be a really good game.
- 44:27I, I have a high praise for Cyberpunk.
- 44:30Kearns: listeners, we
- 44:30Jon: I, I m- I mean, it's kind of the same thing that happened with Days Gone.
- 44:34It came out so glitchy that it, it really, like it killed
- 44:39the, the opinion on that game.
- 44:41If people who've played, who play it now, there's still glitches, but
- 44:44people who've picked it up since like the last three years love the
- 44:48game because it's a great game.
- 44:50Ryan: like there's no more glitches anymore because I've been playing...
- 44:53Jon: They're still there.
- 44:55They're still there.
- 44:55Ryan: I have not
- 44:56Jon: There, there's still a few.
- 44:57Ryan: glitch.
- 44:59you wanna play Days Gone?
- 45:00It's
- 45:00Kearns: break, and when we came back, we started talking about video games, and we
- 45:05have not segued back into the episode yet.
- 45:12Jon: We have dot.
- 45:13Ryan: in Days Gone, though?
- 45:14Unicorns.
- 45:15It's a travesty.
- 45:17Kearns: It is a
- 45:18Jon: There's no unicorns.
- 45:19Kearns: named Travesty in this movie.
- 45:20That would've been kinda cool.
- 45:21Ryan: basically
- 45:22Jon: That would've been
- 45:23Kearns: But
- 45:24Ryan: is travesty.
- 45:24Jon: good.
- 45:25Kearns: have another couple minutes of content to go over for the movie before
- 45:28we give our review, so we should, we
- 45:31Jon: Yeah.
- 45:31Paul Rudd's character, Elliot, is, you know, he widowed.
- 45:36He's trying to d- He thinks he's doing what's right for the kid.
- 45:39He thinks he's taking care of Ridley.
- 45:41Ryan: He thinks, but it, it's not the right way, especially when he bludgeons,
- 45:46you know, the unicorn with a tire iron.
- 45:48Jon: I mean, that
- 45:49Kearns: D word.
- 45:50Jon: or
- 45:50Kearns: no
- 45:51Jon: He, he bl- he, he bludgeons the unicorn to presumed end.
- 46:00Ryan: Okay, end.
- 46:02Kearns: it's so dumb that YouTube does this to us, but anyway.
- 46:06yeah.
- 46:07Jon: To its presumed passing.
- 46:09Kearns: They, merc this thing multiple times.
- 46:11Ryan: Yeah, they
- 46:12Jon: Multiple times.
- 46:14Kearns: times.
- 46:14Ryan: it's like that's where the
- 46:16Kearns: That
- 46:47Ryan: that was cool.
- 46:48That warmed my
- 46:48Kearns: was cool, actually.
- 46:49That
- 46:50Jon: Yeah,
- 46:51Kearns: is
- 46:51Jon: I re-
- 46:52Kearns: the whole parallel between Paul Rudd being a horrible parent
- 46:54and what a good parent does.
- 46:57Jon: Yeah, yeah.
- 46:58And I, I think that 15 minutes of turnaround in his character is why he's
- 47:07included in the unicorn restoration,
- 47:11Ryan: Redemption.
- 47:12Kearns: Yeah, resurrection.
- 47:15But yeah.
- 47:16And it is nice
- 47:17Jon: 'Cause...
- 47:17Kearns: least attempt a character redemption with him.
- 47:20Ryan: I'm--
- 47:21Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 47:21Ryan: have to.
- 47:22Jon: even if it is for the most part really misguided even then, like, you
- 47:28know, he's shoving Ridley out of the house and falling out of a window and
- 47:33whatever so he can, he can face the unicorn himself and presumably save her,
- 47:39but they... She's the one that has a clue.
- 47:44Ryan: It's true.
- 47:47Jon: Ridley didn't need saving.
- 47:49Ridley needed understanding.
- 47:51Kearns: Ooh, what a... That's a banger of a line right there, bud.
- 47:54Ryan: It,
- 47:55Kearns: You nailed it.
- 47:57Ryan: She just... You know, but at the age that Jenna Ortega's portraying in
- 48:01the movie, it seems like, you know,
- 48:04Jon: Yeah,
- 48:04Ryan: understand because her father basically shipped
- 48:06her out to boarding school,
- 48:08Kearns: That's the teenager thing.
- 48:10That's the
- 48:10Jon: I
- 48:12Kearns: aren't
- 48:12Jon: mean, he...
- 48:13Kearns: 'Cause
- 48:14Jon: Yeah, yeah.
- 48:16Ryan: It's true.
- 48:17Kearns: we're, w- we remember that age, we remember being that way, once you get to
- 48:23a certain age, my kids are teenagers, I'm definitely gonna be so far ensconced into
- 48:27the world of being an old fart that I'm,
- 48:30Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 48:30Mm-hmm.
- 48:30Kearns: "You don't get me, Dad, and my electronica EDM music that I love. I'm Gen
- 48:36Alpha." Or whatever they're gonna be like.
- 48:40Ryan: EDM music.
- 48:43Kearns: Yeah.
- 48:44I'll be listening to Linkin Park, which will be classic rock.
- 48:47Ryan: one of them's gonna be listening to death metal.
- 48:49know it.
- 48:50Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 48:51Kearns: I know which one too.
- 48:53Ryan: they
- 48:55Jon: I don't know, it's never the one you expect.
- 48:58Kearns: you might be right.
- 48:59Might have a goth phase coming with, for my oldest.
- 49:01Is that what we're going for?
- 49:03Ryan: Thrash
- 49:03Kearns: even goth,
- 49:04Jon: Maybe.
- 49:05Kearns: phase, which is... They're different.
- 49:07different
- 49:07Jon: They are, they are different.
- 49:10Kearns: But anyway.
- 49:12Jon: You can have a, you can have a goth metal phase, but being goth
- 49:16and being metal are not the same.
- 49:18Kearns: Nah, they can coexist though.
- 49:20Ryan: Yes, they
- 49:21Jon: Yes.
- 49:22Kearns: point.
- 49:22Jon: They overlap.
- 49:23There are definitely overlapping points.
- 49:26Kearns: Venn diagram.
- 49:27Is Ortega goth in this?
- 49:29No.
- 49:29Ryan: More punk.
- 49:30Jon: No.
- 49:31Kearns: She's definitely
- 49:32Jon: Mm,
- 49:32Kearns: but even that, I think
- 49:33Jon: more punk, but not... Yeah, she's, she's a hurt, fragile kid.
- 49:38Her mom's gone, you know?
- 49:42I mean, not in what you would d- not in what we really define emo as, but kind of.
- 49:50Kearns: to be considered to be weak and whiny too, and she's not
- 49:53Jon: Yeah.
- 49:55Ryan: Fair,
- 49:56Jon: not e- either really.
- 49:57She's, yeah, she just, she just needs Dad, and
- 50:03Ryan: He's
- 50:03Jon: Dad thinks he's d- I mean, I, I, I'll give him credit bec-
- 50:08Kearns: Paul Rudd.
- 50:09Jon: yeah.
- 50:10Yeah.
- 50:11I, I, I'll g- I'll give him the benefit of I think he intended well.
- 50:16Kearns: Yeah, I think you're right
- 50:17Jon: But he's also, he's also... Like, there, there's definitely
- 50:22moments in this where it's not about doing the best thing for her.
- 50:26It's about enriching himself
- 50:30Ryan: which is horrible.
- 50:31Jon: and end- endearing himself, like agreeing to go
- 50:35on a unicorn hunt with Odell.
- 50:37Ryan: Which
- 50:38Kearns: was wild.
- 50:38Indeed.
- 51:06Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 51:07Kearns: think it
- 51:08Jon: he, I mean, it, he, he go, he goes out with, like, rich guy arrogance
- 51:14that I'm gonna be able to sweet talk this unicorn into peace and letting
- 51:20me touch its horn and, you know.
- 51:23Kearns: That was a pretty cool end for him too.
- 51:25And by the way, he just got a new
- 51:26Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 51:27Kearns: which is the best part.
- 51:28Jon: Yep.
- 51:29Kearns: Best part, and he ruins it 'cause it's
- 51:32Jon: Yep.
- 51:32Kearns: enough.
- 51:34Jon: Yep.
- 51:34Kearns: The unicorn's name was Luigi, by the way.
- 51:37Ryan: What?
- 51:38Kearns: You guys didn't know that.
- 51:39Jon: Mm.
- 51:41Ryan: The male one?
- 51:43Kearns: Yeah, the male one.
- 51:44Ryan: Okay.
- 51:45Just wanna make sure.
- 51:46Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 51:47Kearns: female one was Peach But anyway, anyway,
- 51:51Ryan: is Mario.
- 51:52All right.
- 51:53Kearns: it is time to move on, I think, to reviews.
- 51:58Ryan: Oh, you don't-- I was gonna say, you don't wanna get into the other end scenes?
- 52:01'Cause Will Poulter had a
- 52:02Kearns: We can, we can blast through them if you want.
- 52:05Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 52:06Ryan: had a great end scene when he got kicked.
- 52:10Jon: Did you just make him French Canadian?
- 52:12Kearns: He's been doing a lot of interesting things with names.
- 52:15Ryan: Will Pou-
- 52:16Jon: Will Poulter.
- 52:17Kearns: is G-L-E-R-M-O.
- 52:20Ryan: well, Will Poulter, you know, get--
- 52:23Jon: Will Poulter.
- 52:25Ryan: he gets,
- 52:26Jon: Oui, oui.
- 52:27Ryan: gets kicked in the head, man, and it's brutal, but it's like, it's
- 52:31a feel-good end, you know what I mean?
- 52:33Kearns: Yeah.
- 52:34Ryan: little spoiled brat.
- 52:35Jon: Yeah.
- 52:36Yeah.
- 52:37Ryan: B or Belinda, I feel like-- I felt bad for her She
- 52:42gets disemboweled and it's...
- 52:44Jon: Man.
- 52:46I mean, the only thing I felt bad for her about was that Shep wusses
- 52:53out on taking care of things for her so she doesn't go out so badly.
- 52:59Ryan: Yeah.
- 53:00Jon: But I mean, it-- And it is weird because she does kind of get it the worst.
- 53:06Kearns: Yeah.
- 53:07Ryan: She gets chomped.
- 53:08Jon: you usually, you usually sort of reserve the worst
- 53:14ends for the worst character.
- 53:17Kearns: Yeah.
- 53:19Jon: And she wasn't.
- 53:20I mean, she's close,
- 53:23Ryan: Oh, would you k-
- 53:24Jon: but I th- O- Odell is worse than she is, and O- Odell gets
- 53:28sort of a, the just ending.
- 53:32Ryan: Would you have,
- 53:33Jon: But she gets brutalized.
- 53:35Ryan: flipped the two endings, like have Will Poulter Odell's ending, Richard
- 53:41E. Grant, and have Richard E. Grant go
- 53:43Jon: No.
- 53:44No, I, I, I think the Odell scene is perfect because it's, it is the arrogance
- 53:52of that type of human being to think that I can just talk to this beast
- 53:58and it will conform to what I want.
- 54:00Ryan: Fair.
- 54:02Jon: I think that works fantastically for him.
- 54:06Kearns: Mm-hmm.
- 54:07Ryan: All right.
- 54:08I can't--
- 54:09Kearns: Would you say it was like a one-star death or
- 54:11like a five-star death or?
- 54:16Jon: He's a, he's about a 4+, 4.25 star death.
- 54:21Kearns: Nice.
- 54:21Jon: I, I take it that means you wanna hit some reviews, Terrence.
- 54:25Kearns: losing consciousness.
- 54:27It's time for reviews, boys.
- 54:30Jon: All right.
- 54:31So let's hit 'em.
- 54:32Uh, first off, 52% critic score on Rotten Tomato
- 54:36Kearns: Mm-hmm.
- 54:37Jon: So, you know, slightly above average, I guess.
- 54:41Um, 76% audience though, so, so fans have enjoyed this more than critics.
- 54:49Kearns: Racks.
- 54:49Jon: so I found a five-star.
- 54:52Ryan: Whoa.
- 54:52There
- 54:53Jon: it wasn't that hard to find a five-star.
- 54:56Ryan: it
- 54:56Jon: "This movie knew what it was and leaned into it.
- 55:01Worked well.
- 55:02Fun watch, likable characters, and sweet resolution.
- 55:08I like when movies are just movies.
- 55:11Not everything has to be a profound message."
- 55:14Kearns: there is one in this, but okay.
- 55:16Jon: They're, they're in... But you don't have to walk away with like, it,
- 55:20it hits you, it gives you the message, but it doesn't force the message on you.
- 55:24Kearns: And that is
- 55:25Jon: You can,
- 55:25Kearns: you're right.
- 55:26Jon: you can choose to take that message and say, "All
- 55:29right, this is anti-capitalist.
- 55:30This is, you know, rich people are ruining things.
- 55:33This is anti, you know, uh, medications for profit." But
- 55:40you don't have to get to that,
- 55:42Ryan: Yeah, 'cause it's just
- 55:43Jon: which I like.
- 55:44Ryan: a fun movie.
- 55:45Jon: Yeah.
- 55:46Yeah.
- 55:47Ryan: are available for it, which is pretty
- 55:49Jon: Yeah.
- 55:51Kearns: Mm-hmm.
- 55:52Jon: S- All right.
- 55:54So I, obviously there are people who don't like Death of a
- 55:57Unicorn, such as this one star.
- 56:00"I really wanted to like this, but it was slow, and I gave up halfway through.
- 56:06No characters that I was drawn to, and for a comedy, I found it flat.
- 56:12Even good actors can't do much with a bad script."
- 56:15Kearns: There's some,
- 56:16Ryan: I disagree.
- 56:17Kearns: some chops to that review, though.
- 56:19script is a little hollow.
- 56:21The, the comedy is fine.
- 56:23I, I disagree with that part, but the, the fact that you could
- 56:26take or leave any character in this movie is kinda true, too.
- 56:29Even Jenna
- 56:29Jon: Yeah, I... Yeah, if, and if, if you're not pulled in by either, either
- 56:36her or Elliot, y- I can see that.
- 56:38I mean, really Griff is my favorite character.
- 56:42Kearns: best.
- 56:44He's
- 56:44Jon: But
- 56:45Kearns: in the movie.
- 56:46Jon: yeah.
- 56:47Yeah.
- 56:47But they, they're... I can see where you get to that with, with Death of a Unicorn.
- 56:52I don't agree, but I can see how you get to that.
- 56:55I don't see how you get to a half star for Death of a Unicorn, but this person did.
- 57:00Ryan: Yeah.
- 57:02Jon: "I cannot believe this movie actually got made.
- 57:06There's not one saving grace in the entire movie.
- 57:10Awful waste of time.
- 57:12Awful.
- 57:13Just awful.
- 57:14I want my time back.
- 57:16How is this so bad with such an excellent cast?"
- 57:20Kearns: Fun cast.
- 57:21Ryan: Uh.
- 57:22Kearns: There's the half part of the star.
- 57:24Excellent cast.
- 57:25But, eh,
- 57:25Jon: Yeah.
- 57:26Yep, that's where the half come... I mean,
- 57:28Kearns: it.
- 57:30Jon: I, I g-
- 57:31Kearns: there that feel this way
- 57:33Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 57:34I, I think, I think sometimes those people are the people who saw the
- 57:38message and don't like the message.
- 57:41Kearns: Yeah.
- 57:43Could be.
- 57:44It's the member of the Bayer family
- 57:46Ryan: But...
- 57:48Kearns: battling it out, making sure these reviews get knocked down a peg or two.
- 57:53Jon: Yep.
- 57:54All
- 57:54Kearns: What do we, uh... Is
- 57:55Jon: right.
- 57:57Yeah, so we know what other people think.
- 57:59How about you guys?
- 58:01Ryan: Oh, do you want-- I'll go first.
- 58:03All right.
- 58:04I'm gonna give it four stars out of five.
- 58:06Jon: Oui,
- 58:26Ryan: different version of a jerk.
- 58:27It's more of like that dad jerk, and he does
- 58:30Jon: oui.
- 58:52Kearns: for Ryan.
- 58:54Okay.
- 58:56Okay.
- 58:57Um, three and
- 59:01half because it's just a, a fun ride movie, and it was well done, and
- 59:04it does what it's supposed to do.
- 59:05I'm pretty quick, pretty quick with my
- 59:08Jon: Yeah.
- 59:10I, I thi- I think I sit where you are, Kearns.
- 59:13I think this is about a 3.5.
- 59:15I, I do ha- I do have the issue with the, the hollowness of the characters.
- 59:21I'd like to see... I would've liked a little more out of them.
- 59:26And listen, I talked the whole lead-up of this about how much
- 59:29I didn't like Elliot and...
- 59:31But that's fine.
- 59:32You sh- really shouldn't like Elliot for a lot of this movie.
- 59:36Um, I like a lot of the stuff they do with the, you know, the, the visions
- 59:41of the unicorns with the purple sort of universe-y... Like, I love that visual.
- 59:47I thought, uh, I think maybe I'd rather have seen practical
- 59:51unicorns over CGI, but, you know, 3.5 fits for "Death of a Unicorn."
- 59:59Kearns: Okay.
- 1:00:00Ryan: All
- 1:00:00Kearns: The CGI belies the sort of laziness that's inherent in this movie.
- 1:00:05Like, it's a, it... They didn't put a framework to make a film.
- 1:00:09is just a
- 1:00:10Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 1:00:10Kearns: to go and enjoy.
- 1:00:12Like you said, popcorn movie earlier, like the Godzilla movies, kinda like that.
- 1:00:16This
- 1:00:16Jon: Yeah, yeah.
- 1:00:17Kearns: and it-- that's fine.
- 1:00:19fine.
- 1:00:21right.
- 1:00:22I guess it's, I guess that's it for "Death of a Unicorn," guys.
- 1:00:25Time for our top fives.
- 1:00:27Ryan: fives?
- 1:00:28Jon: Yeah
- 1:00:28Ryan: Well,
- 1:00:28Kearns: boy
- 1:00:29Ryan: top fives.
- 1:00:30So this movie was produced by A24, I will be
- 1:00:36Kearns: Ew.
- 1:00:36Ryan: my top five A24 movies, and we're gonna start off with a banger.
- 1:00:42I do enjoy, uh, Currents does not enjoy this film, and I understand why,
- 1:00:47'cause it's similar to the classic Rosemary's Baby, and that is Hereditary.
- 1:00:52we're starting
- 1:00:53Kearns: I didn't not enjoy it, I just didn't think it was great.
- 1:00:56Ryan: Well, yeah, I mean, compared to Rosemary's Baby, which is
- 1:00:58a masterpiece, so I get it.
- 1:01:00But Hereditary, thinking about it, is in its own little Rosemary's Baby
- 1:01:06world, the modern-day Rosemary's Baby.
- 1:01:09It does have its memorable scenes.
- 1:01:11I mean, the mailbox,
- 1:01:14the mom on like, you know, on the wall jumping down chasing her son,
- 1:01:20the son breaking his nose on the desk
- 1:01:23Kearns: Mm-hmm.
- 1:01:25Ryan: like,
- 1:01:26Kearns: Mm-hmm.
- 1:01:27Ryan: consider it early A24, but it's what made A- 2018.
- 1:01:33So like when it was still, like they were picking up steam, and that's
- 1:01:36what helped them pick up steam.
- 1:01:40Jon: Yeah.
- 1:01:41Uh, yeah, that definitely helped them grow.
- 1:01:43Ryan: yeah, 'cause I mean, everyone was talking about
- 1:01:45Jon: Hmm.
- 1:02:36Ryan: it's a fun film.
- 1:02:37We're gonna be talking about it later this year, so we'll, we'll save it for that.
- 1:02:41And that goes into number three.
- 1:02:43I believe we've mentioned it before on the podcast.
- 1:02:47It's a favorite of mine.
- 1:02:49It's Midsommar.
- 1:02:51I love Midsommar.
- 1:02:53A lot of people think it's too long.
- 1:02:55I think it's a perfect time.
- 1:02:56Um, it's got, it's got good hits.
- 1:03:00It keeps your attention from the opening.
- 1:03:03Kearns: hits
- 1:03:03Ryan: Well,
- 1:03:04Kearns: into the ground.
- 1:03:05Ryan: It's the best scene, man.
- 1:03:07It's one of the best
- 1:03:08Kearns: That's definitely, definitely what kicks the movie up a notch.
- 1:03:12Ryan: I mean, it kicks it up a-- For me, the start of it when it's like the
- 1:03:16whole asphy- asphyxiation scene with the
- 1:03:20Kearns: Asphyxiation.
- 1:03:22Jon: Fixation.
- 1:03:23Ryan: asphyxi-
- 1:03:24Jon: that word
- 1:03:24Kearns: It's a good one
- 1:03:26Ryan: with the carbon monoxide and stuff.
- 1:03:28I, it got my attention.
- 1:03:29Then trying to bring the main character, uh, played by Florence Pugh, into
- 1:03:35a position to feel better about herself after a terrible situation.
- 1:03:40It's just an interesting, like, journey she goes through as
- 1:03:44Kearns: Yeah.
- 1:03:45Ryan: people are trying to help her.
- 1:03:48yeah, I don't think I'm ever going to Sweden during that time,
- 1:03:50especially after watching that movie.
- 1:03:53And goes to number two, because are troublesome, AI is troublesome, but
- 1:03:59this movie's great, and it's Ex Machina.
- 1:04:02I, oh.
- 1:04:04Kearns: I'll take that kind of, uh, robot trouble over the
- 1:04:06kind that we've got right now.
- 1:04:08Ryan: you guys hooked me up on this movie.
- 1:04:10I love it.
- 1:04:12It's, ah,
- 1:04:13Kearns: This was another one you hadn't seen yet.
- 1:04:15That's right.
- 1:04:15Was it on your little
- 1:04:16Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 1:04:17Ryan: bought the 4K on that one after we talked about it and then,
- 1:04:21Kearns: But
- 1:04:21Ryan: good.
- 1:04:22Got the 4K
- 1:04:22Kearns: I mean, is it still on
- 1:04:25Ryan: yeah.
- 1:04:25Kearns: that you write down
- 1:04:27Ryan: all
- 1:04:27Kearns: the movies on?
- 1:04:29Yes.
- 1:04:29We gotta save that sucker.
- 1:04:58Love this movie.
- 1:04:59Ryan: my
- 1:05:00Kearns: A24?
- 1:05:01Ryan: That's 824.
- 1:05:03Kearns: All right.
- 1:05:04Ryan: Yeah.
- 1:05:04Kearns: right.
- 1:05:05They're not like Blumhouse with me or anything, but A24 lost a little stock.
- 1:05:10Ryan: Yeah, I
- 1:05:11Kearns: You know, you know why.
- 1:05:13You know why.
- 1:05:14Ryan: her back?
- 1:05:15Kearns: should've been left where she was.
- 1:05:17We didn't need to bring anybody anywhere.
- 1:05:19Ryan: was gonna put that on the list, but I like Hereditary more.
- 1:05:24Jon: I was sure that was gonna be your number five.
- 1:05:27Kearns: too.
- 1:05:27Me too.
- 1:05:29soon as you said, "Kearns doesn't like it, but I do," kinda thing, I was like,
- 1:05:31"Oh, you bastard." Another excuse to bring up that garbage pile of a movie.
- 1:05:36Ryan: I
- 1:05:36Kearns: A24 did Barbarian as well, right?
- 1:05:39Ryan: Um, I don't know.
- 1:05:40That was Neon.
- 1:05:42Kearns: It's Neon.
- 1:05:42You're right, you're
- 1:05:43Jon: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 1:05:45Ryan: uh, Zach
- 1:05:45Kearns: Okay.
- 1:05:46Ryan: Yeah, but no, The Lighthouse, it, ah, it's so good, and the Cthulhu vibes,
- 1:05:51H.P. Lovecraft, it's just intertwined.
- 1:05:56Kearns: lore.
- 1:05:56Give me more, give me more Prometheus lore, baby.
- 1:06:00Little, little Sisyphean in there too.
- 1:06:02It's very... A lot of laden with Greek mythology, the
- 1:06:05sirens, the mermaids or sirens.
- 1:06:08It's cool.
- 1:06:08I like it.
- 1:06:10I love it.
- 1:06:10Ryan: It's a deep character piece that just, it works,
- 1:06:14Kearns: So deep.
- 1:06:14Character piece is so deep inside of us.
- 1:06:17Ryan: it, like the tentacle.
- 1:06:19But John, what is your top five?
- 1:06:23'Cause wh-
- 1:06:24Jon: Oh.
- 1:06:25Ryan: you, wh- which way did you go?
- 1:06:28Jon: I feel like my top five was pretty obvious based on my Elliot hate.
- 1:06:34I went top five bad dads.
- 1:06:37Kearns: Nice.
- 1:06:38Ryan: is...
- 1:06:39Jon: I've done bad moms before, it's time to hit bad dads.
- 1:06:42Ryan: Question.
- 1:06:43Would you include Stepfather in your list?
- 1:06:47Jon: I'll have to wait and find out, man.
- 1:06:49No spoilers, no list spoilers.
- 1:06:52Number five.
- 1:06:54Number five, Victor Frankenstein.
- 1:06:59Ryan: Well, yeah.
- 1:07:00Kearns: done.
- 1:07:01He's a
- 1:07:01Jon: Across the board, any-- across, across different versions
- 1:07:07and generations, one thing is clear about Victor, he is an unfit father.
- 1:07:14He abandons his creation when it fails to live up to his lofty expectations.
- 1:07:19Victor leaves his monster to navigate a world he doesn't know or
- 1:07:23understand and that doesn't want him.
- 1:07:27Bad dad Victor.
- 1:07:29Kearns: on that,
- 1:07:30Ryan: That was
- 1:07:30Kearns: John.
- 1:07:31Jon: Thank you.
- 1:07:33Bad dad.
- 1:07:34my number four is a twofer.
- 1:07:37It is Patrick O'Flynn and Seamus Muldoon in George A.
- 1:07:42Romero's "Survival of the Dead".
- 1:07:44Kearns: is a niche one, everybody.
- 1:07:46Only the real
- 1:07:47Jon: Yep.
- 1:07:47Kearns: this one.
- 1:07:49Jon: Yep.
- 1:07:50So the fathers in the final chapter of Romero's zombie saga
- 1:07:54are not inherently bad dads.
- 1:07:56They don't do s-stereotypically bad dad things, except for their unwillingness
- 1:08:04to end a Hatfield and McCoy style feud in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.
- 1:08:12You have something to fight besides each other, and you
- 1:08:17choose to continue this fight with catastrophic results for your family.
- 1:08:25Kearns: A good one.
- 1:08:26That's a good choice.
- 1:08:28Jon: Yeah, I wa- I was trying to figure out a way to fit Romero
- 1:08:31in the list this week 'cause
- 1:08:33Kearns: It's been too long.
- 1:08:34Jon: it had been a while.
- 1:08:36my number three We're gonna go with, Eldon Robison, who's also re- more known
- 1:08:42as Daddy in The People Under the Stairs.
- 1:08:48Yep.
- 1:08:49He's an all-around bad dude.
- 1:08:52he's evicting cancer patient tenants.
- 1:08:56He shoots them, he eats them, and then his own kids get kind of a worse fate.
- 1:09:02He lock, keeps them locked in the basement when they misbehave, and they're forced
- 1:09:07to resort to cannibalism themselves.
- 1:09:10That's a bad dad.
- 1:09:12Ryan: it
- 1:09:12Kearns: of
- 1:09:14Jon: Uh, I
- 1:09:15Kearns: of the
- 1:09:16Jon: have two worse.
- 1:09:19I have two worse.
- 1:09:22One of them I think you guys can guess, and he's my number two.
- 1:09:26It's our guy Jack Torrance
- 1:09:28Kearns: course.
- 1:09:30Ryan: Yep.
- 1:09:30Kearns: he's a bad dad.
- 1:09:31Ryan: I thought he was good.
- 1:09:34Kearns: made him do it, Your Honor.
- 1:09:35Ryan: Yes, he did.
- 1:09:36Jon: Yeah.
- 1:09:37Kearns: for the fact that he's
- 1:09:38Jon: did...
- 1:09:38Kearns: the crap out of them before the ghosts...
- 1:09:41Jon: Yeah.
- 1:09:42Yeah.
- 1:09:42Um, the Overlook Hotel may have pushed Jack over the edge to homicidal
- 1:09:47maniac, but it was always in him.
- 1:09:51We know on one drunken rage-filled occasion he broke Danny's arm, and
- 1:09:56it's strongly implied that this was not the only time he abused that kid.
- 1:10:02And there are definite fan theories about a whole other type of abuse too.
- 1:10:08Kearns: let's hope not.
- 1:10:10Ryan: No.
- 1:10:11Kearns: Kubrick version,
- 1:10:13Ryan: Yeah.
- 1:10:13Jon: There... Yeah, no, there...
- 1:10:16Ryan: 100%.
- 1:10:17Jon: I mean, I would ha- I would have to watch it again with an eye
- 1:10:21towards that theory, but the stuff that they lay out in a couple of the
- 1:10:27posts about that, kinda convincing.
- 1:10:30Kearns: to take a
- 1:10:32Jon: convincing.
- 1:10:34Kearns: Do, do, do,
- 1:10:35Jon: And my number one bad dad for this week, I'm sorry, Ryan, you're incorrect.
- 1:10:43It is a bad dad that we've talked about before, and it is
- 1:10:46our guy Don from 28 Weeks Later.
- 1:10:49Kearns: yeah, that'll work.
- 1:10:50Ryan: he's a
- 1:10:51Kearns: like this bad dad the best.
- 1:10:52Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 1:10:53Kearns: is the
- 1:10:54Jon: Yeah.
- 1:10:54Kearns: a 3K super fast while his wife's
- 1:10:57Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 1:10:58Mm-hmm.
- 1:10:59We talked at great length during our episode about his cowardice running
- 1:11:03from his wife's fate, leaving her alone.
- 1:11:08But then it's his complicity in the spread of the virus in the quarantine
- 1:11:12zone, and his just general lack of interest in his own kids who help
- 1:11:19vio- break that quarantine zone and ruin the safety of thousands.
- 1:11:25I mean,
- 1:11:25Ryan: Yeah.
- 1:11:27Jon: listen, they, they set off something that we now know
- 1:11:30goes at least another 28 years
- 1:11:32Kearns: Right.
- 1:11:33They put Hawkeye in danger.
- 1:11:35He, he risked Imogen Poots' career.
- 1:11:35This guy's a
- 1:11:40Jon: And not only does he do all that, once he's turned, who's he going after?
- 1:11:45Ryan: the kids.
- 1:11:47Jon: His kids.
- 1:11:48Kearns: Right away.
- 1:11:49Bad-- The worst
- 1:11:50Jon: Don,
- 1:11:51Kearns: zombified.
- 1:11:51Jon: Don is the worst.
- 1:11:53Don is the worst dad.
- 1:11:54Kearns: Well done.
- 1:11:56Jon: stepfather's not a dad, but he definitely... He was definitely... He was
- 1:12:00gonna be five before I pulled Romero out.
- 1:12:03Kearns: Well
- 1:12:03Ryan: All
- 1:12:04Kearns: done.
- 1:12:04Ryan: close.
- 1:12:05Kearns: know, the dad in Frailty starts out as you, you're thinking he's the
- 1:12:10worst dad, and then you find out, oh no,
- 1:12:12Jon: Mm-hmm.
- 1:12:12Kearns: dad
- 1:12:14Ryan: a good
- 1:12:14Kearns: He's the best dad.
- 1:12:16Jon: He, he was getting votes for this list too.
- 1:12:20Kearns: But
- 1:12:21Ryan: is he really bad?
- 1:12:22Kearns: those were holy weapons.
- 1:12:23Ryan: Go
- 1:12:24Kearns: He was a messenger of Gord.
- 1:12:26Jon: mean, I mean, he's kinda bad.
- 1:12:28He does, he does create at least one serial killer.
- 1:12:32Ryan: yeah.
- 1:12:33Kearns: and one righteous slayer of them.
- 1:12:36Ryan: All
- 1:12:36Jon: Yeah.
- 1:12:37Ryan: right.
- 1:12:37Kearns: Cain/Abel situation.
- 1:12:39Let's go, Bibble.
- 1:12:41say the actual words 'cause we don't wanna get flagged.
- 1:12:44All right, everybody.
- 1:12:46That was Death of a
- 1:12:47Jon: Yeah.
- 1:12:48Kearns: for this week.
- 1:12:49Hope you enjoyed it.
- 1:12:50If you did, like and subscribe.
- 1:12:52Jon: Y-
- 1:12:54Kearns: week for, I think, the first Flintstones movie, right?
- 1:12:58Ryan: The first
- 1:12:58Jon: definitely the first Flintstone movie is next.
- 1:13:01Kearns: even know what
- 1:13:02Jon: I,
- 1:13:02Kearns: coming out next week, so we can't name it.
- 1:13:04Ryan: are you just mentioning it because it came out on 4K?
- 1:13:07John
- 1:13:07Kearns: I didn't realize that.
- 1:13:09Ryan: Yeah.
- 1:13:09Kearns: I didn't realize it came out at all.
- 1:13:10It just popped out of my head.
- 1:13:11Ryan: Halle Berry.
- 1:13:14Jon: We have a good one next week too.
- 1:13:16Kearns: Can't mention it 'cause who knows what he's gonna edit and what
- 1:13:19we're actually gonna come out with.
- 1:13:20Ryan: hold on, hold on, hold on.
- 1:13:22Wait a minute.
- 1:13:23We're gonna do, we're gonna be coming out with Good Boy,
- 1:13:25and then after Good Boy John.
- 1:13:29Jon: After Good Boy, after Death of a Unicorn.
- 1:13:32Ryan: Good
- 1:13:32Kearns: be coming out after, good boy.
- 1:13:34Ryan: then
- 1:13:34Kearns: so
- 1:13:34Jon: Go- you'll, you'll be, you will, you'll have just heard us talk about Good
- 1:13:39Boy when you put this one on, and then the next one is going to be our friend Bilal.
- 1:13:45Ryan: Oh,
- 1:13:46Kearns: Ooh, Basket
- 1:13:48Jon: Basket Case is next.
- 1:13:50Kearns: Oh, we're going back to when I would sneak in and watch
- 1:13:53HBO when I was a wee little sprout.
- 1:13:56Cool, cool.
- 1:13:57All
- 1:13:57Jon: I c-
- 1:13:57Ryan: Office.
- 1:13:58Jon: l- I kinda low-key love the next month.
- 1:14:01There's one movie I haven't seen coming up, and then
- 1:14:04Ryan: one?
- 1:14:04Kearns: You haven't seen?
- 1:14:07Jon: The Keeper.
- 1:14:07I haven't seen The Keeper yet.
- 1:14:09I put it on there, but I, 'cause it,
- 1:14:11Ryan: of
- 1:14:12Jon: curious about it, and I've heard... Yeah, neither have us.
- 1:14:15Kearns: Neither have us is right.
- 1:14:16All right, guys.
- 1:14:17Well, that's Xenomania episode m-m-m-m on the unicorn.
- 1:14:21Take, give it a watch.
- 1:14:22It's fun.
- 1:14:23Ryan: It's a good film.
- 1:14:24Jon: It's, it's a good ride.
- 1:14:25Yeah, it's a fun ride.
- 1:14:29See ya.