Latest / Life and Love Podcast / Standards and Requirements

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Standards and Requirements · Life and Love Podcast

0:08
Alright, what's going on? What's going on? What's
0:10
going on? You're now tuned in to life and love
0:12
with and sure here on the got what you need network
0:17
Yeah We gonna stop saying The game is on right
0:36
now too so I was trying to see what was shaking
0:38
Football is back, football is back, that's good
0:44
Yes it is We need it back When football is not
0:49
on it is very quiet It's like basketball is cool
0:53
and all But it's like basketball is more of a
0:57
laid back sport. It really is. I mean, I yell,
0:59
but I don't yell like football. It's like, you
1:02
know, it's a bunch of testosterone in the room
1:04
and stuff. And yeah, it's a lot. Basketball is
1:10
my favorite sport, but football is. You can't
1:13
go wrong with football. No, you can't. Hollering
1:15
at the TV, eating wings, drinking beers. That's
1:19
a fact. Stuff of that nature. Like it's fun.
1:22
Yeah. Yeah, it's fun. Like Super Bowl time. I
1:25
love it. Yeah. No, I'm with you. I'm with you.
1:28
I'm with you. Oh yeah, it's fly. Eagles fly.
1:31
That's right. Yeah. We already 1 -0 start the
1:34
season. 1 -0 to start the season. Hey. 1 -0 to
1:38
start the season. We got a lot to go. That's
1:40
right. It's a good start. We look good. That's
1:45
all that matters. That's all that matters. A
1:48
win is a win. We scored some touchdowns. That's
1:53
all that matters. We do not miss AJ Brown. This
1:57
is not the pod for that. This is not the pod
1:59
for that discussion. Let's move it to the top.
2:02
We got a bunch of topics. We've got some discussion
2:04
pieces here. Should you add it something to it?
2:07
You better make this a long episode First We're
2:15
gonna talk about some you know, some requirements
2:18
within a relationship What are some requirements
2:21
that I? Must uphold to you. What are some requirements
2:25
that I must uphold? Yeah your number one requirement
2:30
is to always make me feel safe okay and comfortable
2:34
okay because when i first met you i felt safe
2:38
around you right so that always got to be number
2:41
one okay i get that yeah i get that always protect
2:45
right you know Right. I get that. I get that.
2:48
I mean, that's me anyway. That's my nature anyway.
2:50
That's your nature. Yeah, and just uphold your
2:53
regular duties Make sure you you know, make sure
2:57
everything is maintained whether it's outside
3:00
in the house The cars that's funny because I
3:03
came back from Lowe's picking up something because
3:05
I need to go lay the cement So I was like, let
3:08
me go get this other piece of wood so I can make
3:10
this block So I can put the stuff and get the
3:13
cement in it. See there you go Yeah, so you're
3:16
right that that's your opponent's right? Right
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this relationship making sure everything looks
3:21
good And running right right right? No, no, no,
3:25
you make a good point. You make a good point.
3:26
You make a point I don't mind. I'll take care
3:29
everything else you do You do those things. Yeah,
3:33
yeah I mean, we got your car back rolling, right?
3:36
It was a stressful occasion. So anything electrical
3:39
for the type of car you have is like she can
3:42
get real pricey. It put a pause on things because
3:44
it's not. You got to find somebody who can deal
3:47
with you. You got to have some specialty person.
3:50
I mean, you only got one of those cars where
3:52
I can just go do some shit. And I changed some
3:54
of everything. I changed all type of fuse this,
3:58
this, that. And I was like. We gotta go take
4:03
this somebody cuz I'm done Like you did, you
4:09
know, I kept seeing you going out with your tools
4:11
and going back and forth to the store and I was
4:13
like, look at my baby Your YouTube university
4:18
look hey, hey fix some other issues on them all
4:21
that we didn't realize that there was there but
4:24
yeah Some things I know how to do some things
4:27
I don't so I get that I get that that's that's
4:29
that's not bad. That's not bad one. Um I mean
4:33
like you just said though for me is like you
4:35
said, it's all the other stuff Yeah, I've grown
4:38
accustomed on not doing certain things. I just
4:40
don't do them now, right? So when it don't happen,
4:42
I'll be sitting around looking like What's going
4:46
on? What are we doing? What's the plan? I'd be
4:50
like, what's up? Do I gotta fit for myself? I
4:52
need to be told that. I need to be told, Sean,
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is you gotta go fit for yourself. Because the
4:59
boys will look at you and you be dragging, they
5:01
be like, then they'll come look at me. What are
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we doing? I'm like, shit, I'm waiting for your
5:06
mama to tell me. Those jokers be looking at me
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like. I'm glad you said that though because it
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does seem that way. I'm like this boy ain't grown
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You was doing that before me. I ain't doing that
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shit now. It's not my obligation It's shit you
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look at to you be looking at me I know when you
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be want me to do certain things cuz you won't
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say you'll just look. Yeah I gotta go do that
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It's like that light bulb in the porch I'm I
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need to go see if we got some lights so I can
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go change that day of light bulb on the porch
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I said it twice The light on the porch it came
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on. It was a delay one time. You did say that.
6:00
I keep looking at it and I cut it on the other
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day and it was like, oh, that shit ain't on.
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I gotta go out there and do something. It's on,
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but that bit loose. So now I gotta go out there
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and take that damn thing off of there and get
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that light. I'll do it tonight. I was looking
6:15
for the arm thing and realized it was sitting
6:17
there in the little ladder. Oh, okay, yeah. I'm
6:19
just waiting patiently. It's gonna get done.
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It's getting done. It's gonna get done tonight.
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That's like moving your salon from one spot in
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the yard to the other spot You know, I mean when
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the wheels come I thought it was coming today.
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They're not coming to them later this week So
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I'm gonna move it, you know, I mean I gotta do
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it if I don't do it Yeah, I mean you already
6:41
done commit to it now. So it's no turning back
6:52
But we need to move it because it's going to
6:53
be better in another spot for For the new hookups
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and all that shit. Yeah, so alright I get it.
7:01
Yeah, I mean I got I know when people think requirements
7:06
Don't think nothing's sexual. I don't think we
7:09
already know what's what's already, you know,
7:12
what's already known shouldn't be spoken about
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We already know what's up, but I think the little
7:17
things, you know I'm saying and I mean they could
7:20
be big things. You know I'm saying like certain
7:22
Look, I know people be talk about gender roles
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We have certain gender roles within this house
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or relationship roles that one person do the
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other don't you know I'm saying? Yeah Neither
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one of us really watch no dishes. That's the
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boy job. Neither one of us really take no trash
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That's the other boy job not doing that shit.
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That's just what I'm not gonna do I'll watch
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the motherfuckers. I'll watch them quicker than
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she will wash Like I'll watch cuz I don't like
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to see nothing in the same, but when I'm trying
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to prove a point Just won't do it and let them
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big pile up to that boy get to him now I'm on
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his neck and I know he get tired of me being
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on his neck so And that's like we washing clothes.
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I don't watch no clothes fan. I'll grab a basket
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and fold them Joan, but I ain't washing nothing
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I don't know why I'll grab a basket But I ain't
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about to find about the total motherfuckers in
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nothing cuz if I told me I'm gonna forget them
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I threw in my jogger suit and thing in there
8:22
the other day. I just took them out the bag because
8:24
we had some chill and I was like I can put these
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on. I'm about to go do this classroom thing.
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Then it got hot again. So I washed them And then
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it now is fucking bacon Jamaican out there again.
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I think they say it's supposed to cool back.
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Fucking 90 something degrees out there, y 'all.
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About a hundred. So I ain't about to put that
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shit on with a hundred. No. I'm about to go teach
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these kids in a hundred degree in an outfit and
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there's a bacon out there. Who am I about to
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do that? Right now I'm saying so but it's certain
8:56
things that like she said You know me something
8:59
go broken in the house and need to be handled.
9:02
I'm on it. That's him I mean like we'll get it
9:05
done You know me I clean the toilets Yeah Yeah,
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I'm totally clear that's because I just thought
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especially to my office. I call the downstairs
9:14
bathroom my office, right? That's my office bathroom.
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I make sure that motherfuckin clean I clean that
9:21
one regularly And then I'll clean the one upstairs
9:24
and our bathroom don't be dirty, but you know,
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I clean toilets I don't have a problem. I'm not
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cleaning nothing in the boys bathroom because
9:30
if I go in there, I'm arguing That's their job.
9:33
Anything to do with the boys room The bathroom
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we don't touch every now and then we'll do some
9:39
especially the little one, but he's getting big
9:41
as a house So his big ass going ahead. Let's
9:44
just go Yeah, oh yeah, he'll be busy So next
9:52
let's see We are doing a lot of things together
9:58
Did you ever expect this from our marriage all
10:03
the stuff? Last time I asked this question was
10:06
a few years ago now a lot more things are happening
10:10
Did you ever foresee any of this? Somewhat somewhat,
10:17
okay. Okay, we are doing You know more things
10:23
now I didn't look into the future for that part.
10:28
Right, right, right, but Mean I knew that we
10:33
were gonna do things together, you know I knew
10:35
that we were gonna build together because that
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was the type of person that you are You know,
10:40
you are very business savvy. So I knew it was
10:44
gonna be some type of that but You got me into
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the business. No now I have a business mindset.
10:53
Mm -hmm You know, I turn around and did my own
10:56
thing, which is a good feeling so that's That's
11:01
carrying another whole you know section of our
11:03
relationship. Yeah, it is it is yeah I Mean I
11:10
always knew you know, we were destined, you know,
11:12
right as you get older things change. Yes But
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you know cuz I'm sliding out of certain things
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I'm not in I'm not building websites and apps
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and stuff no more. I'm getting I'm moving out
11:25
of that I have some other Tech stuff that's going
11:29
on that I'm doing but then I'm sliding more into
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building our nonprofit and you know doing stuff
11:35
like that putting together Right, right kind
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of transitioning into some other other things
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more on philanthropic type things And then even
11:44
business wise is doing something different business
11:46
wise. You know saying I got some ideas that I'm
11:49
on I'm putting together now And then like you
11:53
said stuff that you have going on with your business
11:57
They get short that you know the foundation is
12:00
a straight for you, so you can be smooth into
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what you're doing But you're right now. You know
12:07
everything we doing is growing. I mean we outgrown
12:09
our home so very soon We'll be moving out of
12:11
this and there's something else and then Transitioning
12:15
stepping up in certain areas. We even with that.
12:18
You know that's another thing I mean when we
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first bought our home we always said that this
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this is not you know our last right we did you
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know so it's definitely time I think so I think
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it is yeah it's time it really is it's time in
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our eyes not because we really don't have what
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we want no no no we have space we have that right
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it's just that This was never our plans to settle
12:47
for one. No, no, no, no Yeah, so, you know, we
12:51
growing everything is growing around us So, you
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know, we got to move with the times and that's
12:56
what we do and that also helps our marriage because
12:59
now it makes us stable because we are working
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towards something and we know that We basically
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got to make it in order to make those thing happen
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but yeah I didn't expect this much from our marriage
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but sometimes life can surprise you. I didn't
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expect this much you know my little head don't
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think past a certain point okay no I get it I
13:27
get it I definitely get it I'm trying to find
13:30
this thing because I want to play this um this
13:33
audio I could have swore this thing had a bluetooth
13:35
on it look I'm over here um trying to um yeah
13:39
figure it out at the same time this is some video
13:42
I want to play but um I don't think it's done
13:45
I think it has a cord or something I need to
13:47
plug up but I ain't about to do all that you
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know I mean I don't feel like grabbing and doing
13:53
it with that and I'm pretty sure it's probably
13:56
one of these buttons here but I don't feel like
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doing anything with that either so we just gonna
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figure it out you know I mean I'll probably just
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Yeah, yeah, I know what it is Yeah, well, I'm
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gonna play it out. I'm gonna just play it out
14:14
loud and do them Then I'll work my editing magic
14:18
after the fact So I'm gonna play this audio,
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let's see Moms need to decrease and dads need
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to increase when it comes to their sons. That's
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so good Going into high school going to junior
14:37
high into junior high and high school moms need
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to decrease and dads need to increase Yeah, dads
14:44
need to take the lead on everything for their
14:47
sons. That's so good Moms need to back off and
14:50
and be quiet What what what do you think about
14:57
it and I might not have to do no magic that was
14:58
pretty fucking loud But what is what are your
15:04
thoughts about that video I think Those are some
15:09
very good in real points in that okay, because
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I do think after a child gets to a certain age
15:16
boys because Us as moms as females. We don't
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have that Type of Intellectual to actually tell
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you know a boy, you know how to you know, how
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I mean, it's not even intellectual things. It's
15:36
just a job. Yeah, you're not got We don't experience
15:43
it so we can't really you know say what, what
15:45
is what for real. But, you know, a lot of times,
15:48
you know, as they say, when kids get older, they
15:50
start smelling themselves, you know, feeling
15:53
their Cheerios, and sometimes they need somebody
15:55
to bring them back down. Right. And a lot of
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times, that's dad. That who's going to do all
16:00
that it's going to be a lot of single mothers
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or non -single mother Uh, uh, I handled my sons
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this down at third school I grew up in a single
16:09
-parent household much as I love my mother my
16:11
mother It's a lot of shit. My mama could not
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teach me and she raised three boys. It's a lot
16:16
of shit She could not teach us that we had to
16:19
inevitably go into the streets and learn um it's
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three of us not all of us took the right direction
16:25
when we went in the streets and learned and me
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as the oldest i took some responsibility in trying
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to pass down some of the knowledge that i learned
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but at the same time they had to go out there
16:36
and figure some shit out on their own as well
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yeah so and it's a lot my mom could not teach
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me it's a lot she could not teach me as a man
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Knowing and understanding what it is and how
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to do something as a man a woman don't you can't?
16:56
I'll never think a woman can teach a man how
16:58
to be a man It's a lot of women out there when
17:00
you a man you should do this You can't tell a
17:02
man what to do when you're not one you're not
17:05
one of us. You're not one You can't tell us what
17:08
to do. You can help try to guide or you should
17:11
be trying to Grab the village men in your village
17:15
around your circle to pass some information to
17:17
your young sons and stop fucking holding that
17:20
boy So a lot of these little boys Just deep emotional.
17:26
Yeah over overly emotional for no fucking reason.
17:29
It's nothing wrong with Showing your emotions.
17:31
I tell both of them that it's a time. It was
17:34
a time where I think it was a little Sean He
17:38
was younger and just so happened Was on the phone
17:42
and he came in he came in the room crying about
17:44
something and he made him, you know I scold him
17:48
and scold him for a moment But he was trying
17:51
to get a better understanding and he started
17:54
realizing that he um, he can he was crying He
17:57
was like upset. I said, hey bro, you know wrong
17:59
crying. I'm trying to stop crying. I said, you
18:01
know wrong crying I said both you got to also
18:04
figure out a solution to the problem It's no
18:08
wrong getting it out. We should be able to get
18:10
it out, but you need to also figure out a solution
18:13
And it was funny. I was still in for I forgot
18:14
all about my conversation I was talking to Trey
18:16
and then I was like, oh snap my boy. I said I
18:19
forgot he said man I like that over bars. He
18:20
was giving them man. I said brah forgot you was
18:22
even on the phone man. I said, let me call you
18:25
back He said damn old kicked in man, you have
18:28
to give that young man some bars, man Like hit
18:32
me back later. I was like, yeah, I will bro,
18:34
and I just had that sat down for this having
18:36
that conversation was on and um he was cool give
18:38
me a hug and then he left but those situations
18:42
um i feel like i'll even go for my mom is she'll
18:47
either overly be boy you a boy suck it up stop
18:51
all that goddamn crying you a boy you ain't no
18:53
bitch or or she gonna be overly hugging it oh
18:58
my baby no yeah Yeah, is either one of the other
19:01
it's kind of like middle ground. Is it really
19:03
isn't it's yes Let them cry sometime you let
19:05
them get it out, but you also need to hey wrap
19:07
that up Let's figure out a solution to why you
19:11
feeling the way you feel Let's have that conversation
19:13
and then try not to make yourself feel that way
19:16
again Yeah, you know i'm saying because they
19:19
always feel like they disappoint me and i'm like
19:21
You're not truly disappointing. I'm disappointing
19:24
your action. Yeah I'm not disappointed in you.
19:29
I'm disappointed in the action that you're taking
19:32
and why you in this situation right now. You
19:36
know what I'm saying? Sometimes you gotta be
19:37
some tough love. Bro, get the fuck out my face,
19:39
bro. I don't want to see you right now. You know
19:41
what I mean? Stop fucking trying to dance in
19:43
holy oil to get me to smile at you. Get the fuck
19:46
out of here. Right. Because we know exactly what
19:49
you're doing. Exactly. Yeah. Nah, you do gotta
19:52
show tough love sometimes. You really do. Yeah,
19:54
you do. You do. You know what I mean? Can I be
19:58
tough? Can I be too tough on them? Yeah. Uh huh.
20:03
Yeah, he can. And as a mother, Dad is going to
20:07
always be a little too tough. Right. Always.
20:10
No matter what. I don't care what nobody says.
20:13
Most of the women that I contact with or who
20:16
I see on social media, they can't stand when
20:20
Dad gets involved with the kids because they
20:23
always think he's too rough. them mm -hmm it
20:27
does seems that way but in the back of your mind
20:30
you know that is needed you know he needs that
20:33
you know but at the same time you know I guess
20:36
because it's it's your little person you know
20:39
right They're gonna always be your baby. No matter
20:42
how old they are, you know, you don't want nobody
20:44
fussing that even if it's their daddy But the
20:49
tough love is needed though, you better not say
20:51
no, I'm your ass out to get them now we fight
20:55
When I say nothing And that can cause an interference
21:03
with our relationship as well. So it's kind of
21:06
like, you got to know when to hold him and when
21:08
to fold him when it comes to that. You do. But
21:11
hey, you might have went a little too overboard.
21:13
All right, cool, you're right. Yeah, but can
21:16
we do anything about it now? No, it's already
21:18
done. It's already done, leave the fuck alone.
21:22
I might have went overboard to prove a point.
21:24
And most of the time that's what it is. Yeah,
21:27
just to prove a point Cuz they know I get away
21:30
with murder with me, right? They know they get
21:32
away with murder. They do they know But sometimes
21:36
I got a fucking remind them. I'm crazy Okay,
21:42
I am NOT your fucking friend That's why they
21:45
come around when, you know, wanna laugh and play.
21:49
They trying to, you know, get my kids to stand.
21:51
Your dad back, your dad back. So they know what's
21:53
up. If your dad look over there, shut the fuck
21:55
up. Exactly. Let me give him some more time.
21:59
So they just go leave and go in the room or something.
22:02
Let me give old man a little bit more time. Then
22:04
I come back and they know what's up. Yeah, all
22:11
right question. Do you have a do you have an
22:13
issue with being submissive to me? Yes No, no,
22:21
no now My Definition in my mind of submissive.
22:30
Uh -huh a long long time ago. Uh -huh was like
22:35
being obedient You know like doing what the man
22:39
says and I guess maybe because I went to this
22:42
certain church and Women, you know kind of like
22:46
always in the background they did those little,
22:48
you know women things and stuff like that and
22:50
the men always did everything so even though
22:54
I didn't really raised up like that not to that
22:57
extent but You know, I guess that was my molding
23:01
years. You're right. And so I thought that way
23:04
about it. So When you and I got together And
23:09
that goes back to when you, you know, always
23:11
used to want to know like where I'm at, how long
23:14
I'm going to be gone. Right. I kind of saw that
23:17
as like controlling. Right. And which it wasn't.
23:20
You explained it to me and you made a good point
23:22
is if you're out there or something happened
23:24
to you. I don't know where you at, you know You
23:27
can change up or go a different place, but at
23:30
least want to know the initial place You know
23:32
what I'm saying? Because I'm not keeping track
23:34
of you like that. We got each other location
23:36
I don't even look at your location. Yeah, now
23:39
we got each other location It's like dog, go
23:40
where you want to go at but at least initially
23:42
give me the initial place Give me the vicinity
23:45
that you gonna be in Exactly. I never ask you
23:49
how long you gonna be No, you probably never
23:52
asked me that I don't know. I mean, you know
23:54
long as you come in the house ever respectable
23:56
time You come in the house at three in the morning,
23:58
man. I never been away passed up Come in the
24:03
house three four in the morning. I'm like, what
24:05
are we doing? I think the latest I ever been
24:12
out Just by myself without you might have been
24:16
12 o 'clock. It's been one of mine. It's been
24:18
a one o 'clock it was Never true. There's a couple
24:22
time. He was with the girls y 'all went somewhere.
24:24
It was a long time ago You don't do shit now.
24:26
We'll do that. We get on my damn nerve So long
24:29
number get on my nerves. I want you to go outside
24:46
You answer the second part so I don't need to
24:49
answer that second part Yeah, yeah, but but yeah,
24:53
but a little bit more on that submissive, right?
24:56
So now thinking of submissive You know, I'm older
25:00
wiser now, right? So I look at it as if you know
25:06
me Being what my husband needs me to be. Okay,
25:10
you know, mm -hmm. That's what it means now.
25:12
It's no longer of Slave shit and also, you know
25:18
You know little freaky so always used to think
25:22
about submissive is, you know whips chains and
25:25
shit Yeah, you love the chain, you know being
25:27
cuffed and stuff, you know, but now right now
25:31
I'm older. I think on a different level. Like
25:33
bondage and all that shenanigans. Yes. We got
25:36
kids. They look crazy as hell. Let me tell you
25:39
something. All right, TMI moment. The boys found
25:42
something in my drawer. This one time, my sock
25:47
drawer. Y 'all was like, hold up. What are you
25:52
doing with this? So I'm like, huh? What are you
25:56
doing? He said, why you got these? I finally
26:01
go on the screen. It was hilarious. This nigga
26:03
was not he was like trying to he was like yo
26:06
you gotta explain to me. That's what he said.
26:09
He said you gotta explain to me what these are.
26:12
What are you doing with these? He's gonna be
26:14
asking questions now. That was hilarious. I was
26:18
on the floor laughing. I was literally on the
26:21
floor crying laughing. He never saw those things
26:24
again. He just messed it up. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
26:27
They still in the drawer. They're just deep in
26:29
the drawer now. They under new socks. They under
26:33
the old socks that only went no more Yo, I'll
26:48
say this when it come to the submissive word
26:50
I never This is bad. Fuck it. I never thought
26:56
I would find a black woman that would be submissive
26:58
I thought I was going to eventually have to date
27:01
outside my race to do that and I'm not a date
27:04
outside my race guy So especially marriage outside
27:08
my race that you know, that's one thing I was
27:10
always adamant I've dated women but most have
27:14
dated I've never I've never dated a Caucasian
27:17
woman I'm not saying anything is wrong with them,
27:18
but I've never dated a Caucasian woman, but it's
27:21
been you know Spanish -speaking descent and I'm
27:26
I keep you with this Japanese girl for a little
27:30
while. So when it was time to get married, I
27:36
was always there. I got to marry a black woman.
27:39
That was always my thing. Got to marry a black
27:40
woman. Want to have black kids. But she also
27:42
got to be at this particular height. She got
27:45
to be able to at least run, jump and skip at
27:48
the same time and chew gum. You know what I mean?
27:53
Certain attributes she needed to have and whatnot.
27:59
And then I needed a level of submission. I'm
28:01
not talking about just bow at your knees. I had
28:04
a girl that did that. where it was like bow at
28:08
your fucking feet type shit. And I was like,
28:09
I don't I don't need that. That's the extreme.
28:12
You know what I mean? I don't need that. I don't
28:14
know how people can be comfortable with that.
28:16
That was too much like everything I said you
28:18
did. And I was like, you know, like, you know,
28:20
have some pushback to something. Yeah, I got
28:23
plenty. So, right, you do. So I couldn't find
28:28
I did think I would be able to find that middle
28:30
ground. So I really thought I was going to end
28:32
up outside my race. Yeah. And doing that. Until
28:36
I met you. You got a country girl. Yeah. Yeah.
28:39
Pretty much went back to the crib. Yeah. Yeah.
28:42
Yeah. I mean, I can't deny. You got a girl that
28:44
plants sand, jump off porches, ride a bicycle,
28:47
skates, got skin up on the bicycle, handle bars
28:50
and stuff. You right. That's what you got. Yeah.
28:52
Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be some common ground
28:55
with her I went back home. I didn't think I was
28:59
gonna ever kick it with nobody from back at home
29:01
back in South Carolina I ain't never thought
29:03
about that. I wrote South Carolina out like that
29:08
was one book I was never read like I wrote that
29:11
shit cleared out It popped out of nowhere. We
29:13
all ain't the same Can a relationship survive
29:22
when the spark fade but the values align perfectly
29:27
The spark is gone, but we still keep the same
29:31
values and stuff like that kind of relationship
29:34
be salvaged Yes, it can you think so because
29:37
you got to remember the reason why you came together
29:40
in the first beginning So if y 'all have that
29:43
in mind, right? We're here together because of
29:46
this we do this very well together, right? But
29:50
you know, some things are kind of fade in a way,
29:53
right? Okay, so we create another spark. All
29:57
right. But see, that's a mature way of doing
29:59
things. That's the mature way something you got
30:01
to think you got to think about those items.
30:04
You got to think those out to even know that
30:06
you even want to do that. That you know, because
30:08
a lot of people they lose a spark communication
30:10
going. That's true. So nobody's talking to nobody's
30:13
getting down to the root cause of what's going
30:15
on here. You know what I'm saying? Nobody's really
30:17
realizing like, yo, we're not right at that point.
30:21
Exactly. Yeah, it is not. It's not people taking
30:23
the time out to be like, you know what? Let's
30:26
eliminate everyone around us and let's communicate.
30:29
Let's get back to us and whatnot, because the
30:33
way of the world and moving around, doing shit,
30:36
kids, you forget about each other. Yeah, you
30:39
forget about it. You could forget about your
30:42
significant other quickly. You can. You know
30:45
me and you get shocked by that shit how quick
30:48
you could forget about your partner So, you know
30:52
I'm saying when the weight of the world is on
30:54
your shoulder you be like, oh You know me Yeah,
30:59
I forgot to do this for her got to love my husband,
31:01
right? I forgot to give him that kiss. I normally
31:03
give him every day, right? I forgot. Yeah. Yeah,
31:07
it's easy Same thing here. I mean think about
31:09
that shit I'm saying is easy. So I agree. Yes
31:15
It can it can be salvageable It can't be fixed
31:18
but it got to be both sides got to want to fix
31:21
it both sides got to sacrifice The bullshit like
31:25
you know, yeah Like work sometimes like other
31:29
people like them kids. Yeah, sometimes you gotta
31:32
say fuck them babies sometime, man Especially
31:35
when they get to a certain age and it's like
31:36
I'm on that you like you could kind of handle
31:38
what you need to handle on your own You don't
31:40
really Don't need me for every step. Yeah, because
31:43
they're gonna go off and get grown. You're right
31:45
and we gonna be here So we got to learn how to
31:47
be together with each other. That's a fair of
31:49
each other. Right? Yeah, I don't I don't want
31:52
to have to Find our spark again, like once the
31:56
kids are gone. No, no, I mean I don't know if
31:59
they ever leave because they say anything gonna
32:01
never I really do hope they leave at some point
32:05
But We buy that property with the land they gonna
32:10
be out back You know, they gonna want to be like
32:12
as long as they just we just not in the same
32:15
house Yeah, they can go out back to the side.
32:18
Whatever just as long as we not the same they
32:20
got I feel they stop in a lot of things right
32:23
now They are they definitely are they definitely
32:26
are I'm tired of quiet back shot. So I only do
32:29
it. That's right And the older they get the more
32:35
harder it is because they understand shit right
32:38
they understand shit Yep, how to build a thriving
32:43
partnership without losing your individual individual
32:47
identity or personal goals I ain't gonna front
32:52
man for me. I'm I've kind of always try to stay
32:57
on my personal goals. I have certain it's a couple
32:59
goals. I did neglect I did neglect there's a
33:02
couple goals I did neglect but it is some goals
33:05
where I refuse to neglect Cuz it's your personal
33:09
goal. That's how you continue on with life. So
33:11
you you got to keep some type of goal Yep, you
33:13
got to yeah, you got to now when it comes to
33:16
me personal goals I always used to say your dreams
33:20
are my dreams, right you did and I don't mean
33:25
it and I used to always try to push you to find
33:27
your own Exactly. I want everybody to know that
33:30
I used to push you to find Oh nothing that he
33:32
threw on me. Yeah, and it wasn't to the point
33:35
where Didn't have any dreams ago. It's just it
33:39
wasn't nothing, you know, it wasn't bothering
33:42
me Like I was okay where I'm at, you know what
33:44
I'm doing, right? until you know, he's like Are
33:49
you sure say anything you want to do? You know,
33:52
like he asked those questions and he you know,
33:54
probe me and Made me go out there and do things
33:58
right? So, you know one day the light bulb went
34:01
off. Hmm. I do want to do something for me You
34:06
know and you know, that's what I did but it's
34:10
never you You know, I'm losing myself right you
34:13
anything like I always love to do what you wanted
34:17
to do, right? Right. Right. It was fun. It's
34:19
always funny me the podcast shit because of me
34:21
So you're right. I mean, I would never been doing
34:24
right. It's always fun. I think um Yes, you can
34:28
lose yourself in a relationship and miss some
34:34
goals, but that's only if you got a partner that's
34:38
not willing to help you cultivate your goals
34:42
or cultivate your ideas or even listen to what
34:46
you have to say and what your thoughts are and
34:48
give constructive criticism or none at all. Just
34:51
being like, all right, that's what you want to
34:53
do. Do it. You know what I'm saying? Like that.
34:56
That's always helpful. You know me when someone
34:59
is willing to just step out there and help you.
35:01
Yeah, but it can be The point where you lose
35:05
your whole I mean I've said before I've lost
35:08
I lost myself I didn't like the person I saw
35:11
in the mirror and that was it wasn't nothing
35:14
nobody else did It wasn't nothing you did. It
35:16
wasn't nothing the boys did. I got fat as fuck.
35:19
Every time I saw myself in the mirror, I didn't
35:21
recognize Sean. So I was like, who the fuck is
35:25
this? I went from being skinny to fully in shape
35:29
for a very long time. And then I got fat as hell.
35:32
And I did not like that shit. And then instead
35:35
of fixing it, I kept going back to just being
35:38
doing fat ass shit. You know what I mean? Depressing
35:40
fat shit. So I had to get out of doing That was
35:45
bad. I had to get out of doing fat shit once
35:47
I got out of doing fat shit Then I started and
35:50
you know fixing things Losing weight being a
35:53
lot more healthier moving around again, and then
35:56
I start enjoying the person I saw in the mirror
35:58
I hate it. I hate it how I look for a long time
36:01
for a long time. I hate it Yeah, and the kind
36:05
of sad part about that is when you in a relationship
36:08
with someone and You love them for who they are
36:12
and a lot of times you really don't see What
36:16
the other person sees like I was telling you,
36:20
you know, what's wrong with you? What's wrong
36:22
with you, right? You were but then you know,
36:24
we go back and we look at past pictures and stuff.
36:27
You know, your face was better Yeah, everything
36:29
was felt better. I couldn't breathe and it's
36:32
like wow, like I really didn't recognize that
36:35
that much right I couldn't breathe also like
36:38
shit I hated that shit. Well, we on track now.
36:44
Oh, yeah. I ain't no where near as big as I once
36:48
was. No, nowhere near. You ain't never gone back
36:51
there. No, no, no, no, no. That ship has sailed.
36:54
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. You got this
37:01
topic here. I know this is you do standard love
37:03
languages hold up over time or do our relationship
37:07
needs shift? Through different life stages and
37:12
um, I hate love languages and things that shit
37:14
corny, but yes I do I do think um, huh? I say,
37:19
you know, I got a little I do think um, I do
37:23
think they shift I do think they shift over time
37:26
and everybody should Either either make sure
37:30
the other your partner know your shifting language
37:33
of love Or at least you know At all times let
37:38
your partner know, you know, I mean either direct
37:41
or indirect. Let them know Yeah, I tell you I
37:43
tell you directly indirectly both ways because
37:47
in the beginning my love language was Just to
37:50
acknowledge me and us just being together, right?
37:54
That's all I wanted now We don't been doing this
37:57
thing for so long. We don't accumulated so many
38:00
things You open up my mind and eyes to different
38:05
things, right? Boy when I walk by you better
38:08
continue to spank my body By my arm, right give
38:12
me a kiss Right, you better do that stuff not
38:17
something's wrong, right? So that's my love language
38:21
just touch me right right physical touch you
38:23
love Tell me to come ride with you to Lowe's.
38:29
Right. I do like being around me. Yeah. Your
38:33
ass wanted to go with me tonight. I did. But
38:36
you left me. It's all good. I didn't leave you.
38:39
You did. You wasn't sure what you wanted to do.
38:41
I put the invite on the plate for you. I had
38:47
already told you I wanted you to go with me.
38:49
You act like you didn't hear me. I said I'll
38:51
be right back. I'm going to pick up dinner. I'll
38:54
be right back. Anyway, I'm not gonna be here
38:57
when you get there. Hi Cool. Well, I mean you
39:02
going back there again part about two more times
39:04
this week, so I'll go I think I got everything
39:14
this time and they had the big big big dollars
39:19
The sale on that big ol' bin I brought in was
39:21
$8 .00. That was normally $24 .00. $8 .00 with
39:26
the lid. That's a tough one, too. Yeah. I was
39:29
like, oh, shit, they got the bin. Let me get
39:31
that. That means you're going to go back and
39:33
get another one. So we'll be going back. That's
39:35
a possibility. That is a possibility. I know.
39:39
Yeah, that is a possibility. Yeah, I know. Yeah.
39:43
And then I needed a longer little saw thing.
39:46
But, yeah. Yeah, we'll be back low wrong people
39:54
I'm trying to think what's my love language or
40:00
how you have one? Just to be acknowledged Give
40:06
you that's funny. I just was thinking that in
40:08
my head maybe acknowledgement. Yeah Cuz I don't
40:11
get that off the y 'all Whatever. He's still
40:14
here. So he did it I don't get much acknowledgement.
40:18
He probably get it too much. Don't show me, no.
40:20
I might calm down on it. I need love. I've been
40:25
listening to old school music lately. See, he's
40:27
in love. 90s, I've been listening to 90s. That
40:28
means you're in love. 90s hip hop. I don't want
40:30
to listen to none of that shit. It's about to
40:32
be sweater season. I'm feeling ill and I'll scratch.
40:35
It is, I can't wait. It's about to be sweater
40:37
season and you know that means cuddling. And
40:40
you know I love to cuddle. So that means you
40:43
won't be coming to bed, okay? Ain't no more staying
40:46
up late, soon as it get cold. I got a lot going
40:49
on though. I don't care. That's my love language.
40:53
I got a lot going on though. Touch me. I'm trying
40:56
to build up some things. I got a lot going on.
40:58
You can build anytime. You just come to bed.
41:01
And I'm in school too right now. I know you are.
41:05
I ain't gonna be able to come to bed. Yes you
41:07
will. You need your rest. Them two days I'm in
41:10
class, They fucking up my my patterns of my work
41:14
my regular day my day work You got it You can
41:20
handle it all I'm trying y 'all I'm trying y
41:26
'all I've been juggling You're always a clown
41:31
Damn Let me look over and see what else we got
41:36
We ain't got no more topic You got anything you
41:38
want to add? Anything you want to bring up? Anything
41:39
you want to tell the people? Hey y 'all, um,
41:42
let me give y 'all some good news. I am a licensed
41:46
North Carolina natural hair care specialist.
41:49
Yes, you are. Yeah, you are. You are licensed
41:52
now. So y 'all make sure to come and get your
41:54
locks done, okay? Or some two strand twists.
41:57
I love doing those. They've been having you do
42:00
a whole bunch of other shit, too. I know. I know.
42:03
You've been busy. I got a request tonight for
42:05
something different. For real? You've been busy.
42:09
You've been busy. I'll be given I'll give you
42:11
that Blackmail podcast is coming back. We got
42:15
a new host added host So it'll be three of us
42:18
and then I'm saving by creating it's been going
42:21
full effect We have our first event that we were
42:25
gonna do. We've been doing us a program that
42:27
we'll be doing with um Great Emmanuel full gospel
42:31
church It's all coding with kids. Um, you know,
42:35
so we're coding. I'm doing some coding programs
42:38
and stuff. So We're working towards getting our
42:41
facilities very very soon. I'm trying to I want
42:44
to get it in 2027 so saved by creating and then
42:49
Blackmail podcast is back. We also have We have
42:57
Apollo tricks still We'll be making some other
43:00
announcements. We no longer have The encouraged
43:04
to inspire podcast is no longer on the network
43:07
And a couple others, you know shows and stuff
43:11
that we were working on is no longer working
43:13
on but yes We got some other things in the work.
43:15
So things are things are cooking things are cooking
43:17
Yeah, all right. Well, this is life in love with
43:21
Erica and Sean here when they got what you mean
43:24
network Peace.