Latest / Serious Beef Podcast / LOCK YOUR DOORS

Transcript

LOCK YOUR DOORS · Serious Beef Podcast

0:00
I'm Maddie and I'm Anna. This series beef Welcome,
0:04
welcome, welcome back. Here we go new episode.
0:07
I know, let's just jump in. You're going to have to talk the
0:09
louder than that because otherwise they're not going to.
0:11
Be able to hear. You over the fucking crunching
0:13
on my fucking dogs and my washing machine.
0:17
My boys are eating dinner. It's OK.
0:20
Let's talk about our beef. I know.
0:22
Devastating news, everyone. Our beef has to do with chicken.
0:25
Has to do with chicken, you're right.
0:30
Chicken teriyaki. Wow, this is a terrible beef
0:34
because I'm fucking starving right now.
0:36
And now we're going to talk about one of the best places
0:40
that we used to go to at the mall for for the mall, Saint
0:43
Clair Square is what the Saint Clair Square.
0:45
It was our go to our go to meal. The Sarku Japan has closed.
0:49
It has closed. No warning, no warning.
0:53
We we were shopping yesterday. We go to the food court.
0:57
We're like, we're going to get a little little dinner and I'm
1:00
going to give you a ton of food. So I'm excited.
1:02
I'm doing my happy dance all the way to the food court, thinking
1:05
I'm going to have lunch for tomorrow too.
1:07
We stopped in our tracks. We literally just stunned.
1:11
I think real tears came to my eyes.
1:15
No, no soccer Japan anymore. It's gone now.
1:19
We don't have a Sabaros. Like what did you say?
1:21
It's certainly like a ghost town.
1:23
Like there's just. Husks.
1:26
Yeah, the sad, the sad news. Apparently due to lease
1:30
expirations is why they closed down.
1:34
Some places are rebranding to names like Sukihana.
1:37
So if you see Sukihana. That's that's it, said, coming
1:40
soon, Sukihana. No, it didn't.
1:42
Yeah. It did.
1:44
Oh I know, freaking terrible at the Saint Clair Square.
1:49
That whole mall, you know, this is a sad state of affairs in
1:52
across the country. I think, you know, you hear
1:53
about the slot that malls are are kind of starting to get more
1:57
and more empty and it's kind of AI think it's a huge bummer.
2:01
You know, I don't want to have to shop for everything online,
2:05
you know? I know it's.
2:06
It's yeah, but it's, I guess it's a malls or dinosaurs, I
2:10
guess going to the the ways of the past.
2:14
But now you did make a comment. If it closes, then we can buy it
2:17
and we'll all live in it. Everybody can have their own
2:21
space, huge spaces. We'll convert it.
2:25
I think it might be easier if we bought a school maybe.
2:28
Would it be? I don't know.
2:30
It's a thought, something to think about.
2:31
If we win the lottery, maybe, man, I don't know.
2:36
So that was our beef. It's devastating.
2:38
We're. Devastating.
2:38
I know It's not even really a beef because I'm not even, I
2:40
mean, I, I am mad, but I'm, I'm just so depressed.
2:46
I'm so fucking depressed. And now I'm hungry and I can't
2:48
even order it. Oh no you can't.
2:50
You used to be able to DoorDash it and everything.
2:52
I know no more I. Don't know, I could have
2:55
doordashed it right now and had had the sarku for dinner when we
2:59
got done with this. Legit, now I can't can't.
3:02
Like I have to go all the way over to the Galleria to get a
3:06
slice of Sabaros. There is a place over there that
3:09
is very similar to Sarku that you can get, but it's not near
3:13
as good. Ashley and he likes bars.
3:15
Oh my God, Ashley's in the other room.
3:19
I just. Turned and stared at her and
3:20
gave her the sting eye. Angry, angry eye.
3:24
Golly, my horse is not even in. Oh, my goodness.
3:28
Anyway, moving on. OK, all right, shake it off.
3:32
Shake it off. We got to move on.
3:33
We got to talk about something else, you know, and do our
3:36
sauce. Yeah.
3:38
Do you have a sauce? I do, I said.
3:39
I asked. Do you want to do your do our
3:41
sauce? As if I'm not the one who went.
3:43
I didn't look up a sauce this time, so yes.
3:46
What is the sauce, Abby? The sauce is Branston.
3:49
Pickle. Branston Pickle.
3:51
Branston pickle sauce. I don't think that sounds very
3:54
good, but. It's it's from the UK.
3:56
It's a chunky, sweetened, vinegary relish.
4:00
Chunky, sweet and vinegary relish.
4:03
Essential for British plowman's lunches.
4:06
Plowman. Actually says that most.
4:08
People need to love themselves and I believe I agree with that.
4:11
But it's, it's basically it's a relish.
4:13
It's a relish. I don't like the relish.
4:15
Well, I don't really either, but you know what we gotta?
4:17
I don't like vinegar. I know, right?
4:21
Now this is listener Erica I'm making.
4:23
I'm making a very big frowny face right now thinking about.
4:26
Listener Erica and I talk about this all the time because I told
4:29
you about the salt vinegar chip. Oh yeah, there's like scientific
4:32
studies that says that like vinegar is.
4:36
I forget what it is but it can I think improve like your mental.
4:38
Health. Supposedly it's good for you.
4:40
Yeah, there's some people who drink like some kind of vinegar
4:43
business every morning. Well, Ashley got some.
4:46
I think I would die. What'd you get though?
4:48
You're supposed to drink when you're sick.
4:50
It's called fire water, but it's not alcohol.
4:52
It's. Just did you light it on fire?
4:54
Nope, you want to light yourself on fire.
4:57
After you drink it, yeah. No, it's not good.
5:00
As she says, it's not actually called fire water, but I won't
5:05
elaborate. I'm not going to elaborate on
5:07
it. You know what?
5:08
Go figure it out. Take your best guess on what
5:10
we're talking about. We talked about the vinegar is
5:12
good for your mental health. And we had seen a post online
5:15
that listener Erica had shared with me that had said heal me
5:18
salt and Beaver chip. I'm asking for a miracle.
5:21
So we'd say that all the time. Fire cider.
5:27
Fire cider. That sounds terrible.
5:29
Fires cider, doesn't it? Not a big fan of cider.
5:31
Let me do it. Listen has alcohol in it but if
5:34
it has fire in it I'm not a fan. Let me tell you what Fire Cider
5:37
is if you're not sure. Fire Cider is a spicy, tangy,
5:40
vinegar based herbal tonic traditionally made by infusing
5:44
raw apple cider vinegar with ingredients like ginger, garlic,
5:48
horseradish, onions and hot Peppers.
5:50
Oh my God. Often.
5:52
Sweetened with honey, it's a folk remedy used to support the
5:56
immune system, aid digestion and warm the body, though scientific
6:00
evidence for specific health claims is limited.
6:03
The process involves steeping the ingredients and vinegar for
6:05
several weeks, then straining and adding honey to taste.
6:09
I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't think I took a sip of
6:11
that. It actually did.
6:13
Was it bad? Was it bad?
6:14
It didn't seal properly, so it. Went bad, I see.
6:17
Yeah. Well, you're saying I was not
6:19
feeling good. And Ashley, it said, oh, well,
6:20
there's that fire, sire, that's in the fridge, OK.
6:23
And I was like, I took the lid off of it.
6:27
I'll put that little right back on.
6:28
Good for you, I said. Absolutely not.
6:32
I'm going to tell you right now. You read that it was those
6:34
ingredients and my body broke out in goosebumps, head and toe.
6:37
Not in a good way, not in a good way.
6:40
It was a touch and go there for a minute.
6:44
Tell you what, I it was this. Is like this thing after you?
6:50
Like somebody just walked over my grave like.
6:52
Jeez, when you put all the ingredients.
6:54
In, that's what it kind of, that's what it looks like, but
6:56
when? You when you no, when you take
6:58
it, when the ingredients out, that's what it looks like.
7:02
I mean, it's just kind of like a you could maybe convince
7:05
yourself that it's apple cider. You could.
7:07
Convince yourself that that's like brown gravy that's gone
7:10
bad. It doesn't look like it's gone
7:13
bad. It looks like it could be like a
7:15
dark apple cider or like a or like a very light gravy color
7:20
until you took the lid off it and the overwhelming power of
7:23
vinegar hits. Oh yeah, yeah, I can't handle
7:25
it. I just can't handle.
7:26
It, And here's the thing, I bet it does.
7:28
I bet if I had taken a sip of that, it would have cured me of
7:32
anything. Not a chance.
7:34
Or killed you. If I you could survive that.
7:36
You could survive anything. I I believe that. 100% you know
7:40
what that's going to do? That's going to give you the the
7:43
shit so bad that it's going to clear everything out of you that
7:47
you're going to be like you flushed all of the nonsense out
7:50
of your body. As she's like taking a shot of
7:52
our ball. Yeah, I just, well, he's like, I
7:54
hate. Vinegar.
7:56
I hate vinegar. So that's like, that's my
7:59
problem. Like if it was, if it was a
8:01
different base, you mean if it was just like water and all
8:04
these things it's steeped in just water or like vodka, vodka
8:08
and they just steeped in vodka. Like it would still not be
8:11
great, but I think I'd have a better chance of taking a shot
8:16
of whatever it is. I just hate vinegar so much.
8:20
I just I can't. Do it.
8:21
I just can't. Do it and no.
8:23
But listen, there are a lot of people swear by it, and if you
8:26
are brave enough to do that and you don't hate the taste of it,
8:31
more power to you because you probably have better digestion
8:33
than I do. I'm just willing to live in
8:35
pain. I'm willing to live with these
8:37
issues. Yeah, I'm, I'm going to have to
8:40
find a hold out for a different cure.
8:42
Hold out. Hold out for a different cure.
8:44
Well, maybe we get that in pill form.
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I'm all in. You know she wants to she.
8:49
Wants to fucking day full capsule fire.
8:51
Something put it. In pill form, put that together.
8:53
For us, then I'm with you, but until then, no.
8:58
Yeah, it's not. It's not for me.
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I don't think I could do it. I'm going to just say to eat
9:02
their own to eat. Their own.
9:04
But the point is, is that the sauce is Branston pickle and
9:07
it's a relish. OK, which, OK, Google said was a
9:11
sauce, so I counted it. OK, so consider that.
9:14
All right. What else you want to talk
9:15
about? Well, I get.
9:16
Here's the thing. I got some headlines.
9:20
I got some headlines that I saw in an article.
9:22
Nope. I saw on the YouTube.
9:24
It's not a YouTube video. Either it was in a reel
9:27
basically on the Facebook or wherever you get your little
9:30
quick vertical videos and this guy went through every news
9:34
article about the ocean that popped up in his feed.
9:37
Oh, interesting. And so I was going to tell you
9:40
all of these articles and again, I I haven't fact checked
9:44
anything. I haven't looked into the
9:45
details on any of these things. So if you listener at home,
9:49
like, oh, man, that would sound like a really interesting
9:51
article. Are you gonna tell me more?
9:53
Nope. Nope.
9:55
Nope. OK, you gonna have to live with
9:57
this or Google it yourself. All right, That's fine with me.
9:59
All right. OK, so up first, we've got
10:02
something bit a blue whale in half.
10:05
We have our signals just picked up a loud shrinking noise coming
10:10
from the Mariana Trench. It's probably nothing.
10:21
A rare fish that has only ever sighted before giant tsunamis
10:26
just washed up on a. Beach.
10:32
These headlines are going to give me nightmares.
10:36
Holy shit. OK.
10:38
It appears that a prehistoric virus frozen in an iceberg in
10:42
the Arctic just melted. Oh my God, we're all doomed.
10:48
We're all doomed. We thought, we thought COVID was
10:50
something bad. We didn't know.
10:52
Listeners, it's. It's special guest Sam.
10:55
Sit down and join us. We're talking about a headline.
10:58
I got no information, although I have theories about.
10:59
We've had a few chilling ones so far.
11:01
Yep, there's a lot of shrieking noise that we detected deep in
11:06
the Marianas Trench. It's probably nothing.
11:09
Well, yeah, I'm sure it's fine. You heard nothing.
11:16
This is the. Moment like in my DND campaign
11:18
where we were in the shadow of fell and it was like you hear a
11:24
faint child crying in the distance.
11:27
It's like, no, I don't. I do.
11:30
I absolutely do not. No, I believe.
11:33
No, I don't. If you're out in the woods in
11:35
the middle of the night and you hear Oh, no, I think I need help
11:40
somebody to probably that's not where that's supposed to be.
11:42
Like heard. OK in that tone of voice.
11:44
You didn't hear anything. Yeah.
11:45
No, the thing that we were talking about, this is like if I
11:47
hear if I hear like a a scary like come outside, come help me.
11:51
I'm about to Bugs Bunny board that bitch up.
11:54
OK, You not a bummer. All right, what's the next
12:00
headline? What's the next headline?
12:01
Fishery in Japan just called a giant squid.
12:03
It's the biggest we've ever seen.
12:04
The scientists realized that it's a baby and the mother is
12:08
probably looking for him. She's having an oxy go car right
12:14
now. So sorry.
12:16
Oh my God. You weren't supposed to be here.
12:19
This gives you anxiety, doesn't it?
12:21
All right, here we go. There is an octopus that can
12:23
kill you just by looking at it. What, like a Medusa octopus
12:27
again, I, a Medusa only have the headlines.
12:33
So this is like terrifying that it gives you a heart attack.
12:36
Don't know. What?
12:38
Wait, I have to tell you this quick thing I saw.
12:39
OK, it was it was Medusa and King Midas shaking hands.
12:44
Brief love affair. Brief shake it.
12:45
Brief love affair. OK, move on.
12:49
It's funny. It's brief running.
12:50
All right, the scientists have just found out that the sound
12:53
coming from the Marianas Trench is getting louder, because it's
12:58
getting. Closer, it's just in full panic
13:05
mode. That's giving it not like 2
13:10
sentence Horror Story but it's more of like a joke.
13:13
Oh, that's it's yes, Sammy and I have this in common.
13:16
People have told us this. It's the way you tell the story
13:20
that made it so funny. I'm doing this intentionally,
13:22
OK, as I don't do it intentionally.
13:25
I was. Saying that me reading this in a
13:27
monotone voice is what is kind of.
13:29
Really doing it for her. I got a couple more.
13:33
We just put a tracking device in the biggest shark we could find
13:36
and something just ate it. Oh.
13:38
Shit, you put your glasses back on and face them, Axe.
13:46
And the biggest shark we could find.
13:48
And something just ate it, the shark.
13:51
It did eat the shark. I do actually have more
13:53
information on that because I at first I started to Fact Check
13:56
these. I got two stories in and went
13:57
never mind. But on this one, it was the
14:01
biggest shark they could find was the biggest shark of a
14:03
specific species. And they believe that a great
14:06
white ate the shark because it's not actually like the biggest.
14:09
Shark, right? It's a misleading headline, and
14:12
we know what we're doing. Well, there was an AI video.
14:13
I know it was AI because I'm not too terribly stupid.
14:16
You're picking up on it. I'm picking up on it.
14:18
But it was a video of supposedly a man swimming around by this.
14:24
Boat and I just like pointed at each other that fucking
14:28
document. To be right, right that bitch.
14:31
Had me going if this was. Real yeah, these people on the
14:35
boat, they're all dead, but it was AI, so.
14:39
It was well, I've got, I've got. I think I've got one more.
14:41
OK, go for it. So these have shown that orcas
14:43
can remember faces and what you did to them, what would you have
14:48
possibly done to them? OK, so there were two stories
14:52
that I looked up. This is the only other one.
14:54
So yes, orcas have a very advanced neurological
14:58
capabilities and they can recognize faces and they
15:01
remember, say, boats and things like that because you have like
15:05
a Japanese fisherman boat that I believe it hit an orca and it
15:10
killed it. And then a pod of orcas was then
15:12
hunting that boat for like months Ashley years.
15:17
Just in case. The microphone didn't pick that
15:20
up. The boat hit the matriarch of
15:22
the pod and then from then on the orcas would hunt any other
15:28
boats that kind of came into the area for years and knew what
15:31
that boat looked like and would hunt that one specifically.
15:34
So that went on for a few years. Wow, OK.
15:36
And it's not still going on. And I believe that I said
15:40
something bit of Blue Whale in half was the first one.
15:44
Yeah, OK. Now I did do a quick Google on
15:46
this. There's been a lot of reports
15:48
about that. But I have a theory and I agree
15:52
with what the Google was telling me, which is a lot of times
15:56
whales will wash up on shore and they look like they've been
15:58
bitten. Half more likely they have been
16:02
killed by something work or whatever.
16:05
And then other like scavenger animals won't eat on it.
16:09
And it, you know, look, Oh my God, it's been been, no, it's
16:12
been, we have, it's been eaten. They've been chowing down for a
16:15
while. Right, right.
16:16
But it's not Yeah. So that's that's my headlines.
16:20
That was a little hectic with the that's going in between, but
16:23
that's fine. Interesting and anxiety
16:26
inducing. The Marianas.
16:27
We're picking up a loud sound coming.
16:29
Marianas Trench. It's probably fine.
16:32
The sound is getting louder because it's getting closer.
16:35
Yeah. That's it.
16:36
That doesn't make me feel anxious at all.
16:38
I know, I know. I'll, you know, OK, You, you
16:41
tell me. You tell me which else?
16:42
You, you got something and I'm going to Google the sounds
16:45
coming from the Marianas Trench. OK, you find it.
16:48
I got a couple things I was going to tell you about.
16:51
Well, for one, I actually was going to tell the listener
16:53
because you keep cracking me up every time I go to McDonald's.
16:56
I'm on the phone with Abby and I'm going to the McDonald's to
16:58
get my coffee in the morning or whatever.
17:00
And the first time I think we've told the story, but we'll just
17:03
refresh your memories. The first time I told you that
17:07
McDonald's no longer served something, I can't remember
17:11
what, it was something that they did away with it.
17:14
And you, your response, it wasn't the snack wraps.
17:17
It was it was more recent. Your response was those big
17:21
fuckers, those big fuckers. OK.
17:24
And then just this most recent time, I was going to get my
17:29
coffee and you said, I said, oh, I think I'll get myself a
17:33
Mcmuffin. And you said, why?
17:36
Why don't you get me a Mcmuffin? And I said, I can't, you're on
17:38
your way to work. I'm on my way to work when I buy
17:39
each other. And you said, man, I'm going to
17:42
get Mcnuffin. Don't get Mcnuffin.
17:44
And so that cracked me up. And I will say this morning I
17:49
got a sausage and egg biscuit for breakfast.
17:53
OK, now sounds delicious. The egg on the Mcmuffin is like
17:57
a little little round white egg with a little yolk there, you
18:00
know? What I mean I know.
18:01
But the egg on the sausage and egg biscuit is like yellow and
18:05
it's like folded. It's like more like a scrambled
18:07
egg, Correct. Well, I opened my sausage egg
18:10
biscuit this morning and it had the egg on it that was supposed
18:13
to be on a Mcmuffin. They're out of control.
18:16
I really opened up and I went what the Mcfuck, what the
18:19
Mcfuck. So I was cracking myself up
18:23
because I was channeling my my inner Abbey there.
18:26
Anyway, I have one more note in here to make that it's something
18:28
I needed to tell you about. I wrote I all I wrote down was
18:32
middle finger man in office chair in Minnesota.
18:36
OK, and I'm like, why did I write that down?
18:39
So I literally ash just. Started.
18:41
A laugh. Ash knows what I'm talking
18:43
about. So I'm like, well, I don't know
18:44
what that is. So I literally googled middle
18:47
finger man in office chair in Minnesota and it's the dude.
18:51
It's this dude in the he. Chased my ICE agent.
18:55
He's wearing the giant middle finger hand costume rolling down
18:59
the street in an office chair and Ice is chasing now do you
19:03
think that this is AI? Do you think this is fake?
19:05
No, because. That was that's real.
19:07
So in case you haven't seen a listener, yeah, dude, in
19:10
Minnesota, the ICE agents are chasing him down the street.
19:12
He's wearing a giant middle finger costume and he's rolling
19:16
down the street in an office chair.
19:18
And it's, it's actually pretty fantastic.
19:21
So I'll have to post a pic, but I but I was, I was surprised as
19:25
I pulled up my, my serious beef, you know, notes app on my phone.
19:31
And I'm like, what in the world? Middle finger man office chair
19:33
in Minnesota. What, what, what?
19:34
Why did I write that down? Then when I Googled it, I was
19:37
like, Oh yeah, OK, yeah, that was awesome.
19:40
So that's all I've got. I've got nothing else.
19:43
OK, so I've looked up the, I've looked up the sound.
19:46
It's there's, there's a couple different like theories and
19:50
things like that. But first of all, I really
19:53
appreciate this. The sound is referred to as bio
19:57
twangs. What bio twangs?
20:00
Bio twang Bio twangs. OK, that's excellent.
20:03
Bio twangs. It's a unique metallic sounding
20:06
high frequency noise called the bio twang.
20:09
But they believe that that is a vocalization of brides BRY or
20:15
brides BRYDE whales. Brides.
20:20
Whales. OK they.
20:22
Through this like loud noise to locate other whales.
20:26
So that's what they think it is. They figure this out by having
20:29
AI listen to like 200,000 hours of ocean noises and identify
20:35
like go for it. So they're pretty sure that it's
20:37
those whales. But apparently also there is the
20:41
anthropogenic impact. I don't know if you've heard of
20:45
this, which the primary source of the increasing noise is human
20:48
activity, including shipping, oil and gas exploration and
20:51
naval exercises. And it just kind of
20:53
reverberating is coming back to us, OK?
20:58
They said in 2015, researchers placed a hydrophone, which is an
21:03
underwater like microphone, basically.
21:07
Yep. In the Challenger Deep finding
21:09
it was quote, a buzz with both human made and natural sounds,
21:13
which is creepy. A buzz which is creepy.
21:15
When you think about that, you put a microphone like, you know,
21:19
at the bottom of the ocean, you get human sounds coming back.
21:22
That's a little creepy. Yeah, that's wild.
21:24
But sound waves travel better they.
21:26
Do they do? You're right, So that's kind of
21:28
cool. So who knows what you're picking
21:30
up? So don't panic, right?
21:31
That's rule #1. And then you have and then you
21:34
have like low frequency noise, which they believe is due to
21:38
like seismic activity. Oh well.
21:41
That makes sense, So. Yeah, so the sound it's not
21:43
getting louder cuz it's OK. Underwater, like volcanoes and
21:47
stuff like there's correct, yeah.
21:49
Earthquakes, tsunami, all that. All that kind of stuff happens
21:51
under the water. So if you think about how much
21:54
the earth is covered in water, it's a lot.
21:56
Yeah, so. It's a technical term. 7070% if
22:00
you will. 70% and growing. Sorry if that took the fun out
22:04
of the headline that the ruined trench noise.
22:06
Is ruined it. Why do you have to get so
22:08
technical, Abby? Mariana's Trench.
22:10
One of my favorite bands. Really quite enjoying Mariana's
22:16
Trench. That's awesome.
22:17
Good, good time. All right, do you know, do you
22:20
ever read a headline in your or read a story or see whatever?
22:24
Maybe you're on Instagram, maybe you're on Facebook and you just,
22:26
I take a screenshot because I got to tell you.
22:29
So I'm like, wait, wait, wait, I forget, I have to go to my phone
22:31
and look at my screenshots so I can remember to tell you the
22:33
things that I that I want to tell you.
22:35
All right, so this, this is actually exciting news in my
22:37
opinion. So this post said Congrats to
22:40
the Netherlands. They just ditched.
22:43
They just ditched their Trumpian leader and instead voted for the
22:48
youngest and 1st openly gay leader in Dutch history.
22:51
Well, I'll say Congrats. Good for them.
22:53
Congrats to another. One OK here and it's funny
22:58
because this is kind of funny. Maybe we could do a study into
23:01
things that I, I, I find interesting and saved to tell
23:03
you and things you decide to save and tell me.
23:06
OK, interesting. OK this this one this headline I
23:10
read was truck carrying monkeys with hepatitis C, herpes and
23:15
COVID crashed in Mississippi. One monkey still missing.
23:22
Christ, are they all in one thing, in one truck?
23:24
Because they're relocating on, there's a lot of diseases it.
23:30
Is oh man, so let's say so save that one.
23:33
Let's see. Here's one about Little Caesars.
23:35
Someone is telling the stories. Stopped into this Little Caesars
23:39
just trying to get a $6 pizza and ended up in a full on action
23:44
movie. Just as I grab my order, this
23:47
furious dude barges in yelling about how I cut him off in
23:51
traffic earlier. You fucking you follow this
23:54
person all the way to where? To the Little Caesars.
23:58
Before I even could respond he throws a punch, but then out of
24:03
nowhere the guy behind the counter jumps over it like he's
24:08
been waiting for this moment his whole life and just beats the
24:12
living hell out of this guy. The guy runs off the cashier
24:17
dusted himself off and said are you OK man?
24:21
And he looked me dead in the eye and said bitch this is Little
24:26
Caesars we always hot and ready. Sorry what's going?
24:31
God damn it, are you OK man? This is Little Caesars, we
24:35
always hot and ready. Always hot and ready.
24:38
This the person gave them five stars, will absolutely return.
24:41
Absolutely. Absolutely.
24:43
I've never heard that before. So that was pretty funny.
24:47
I thought that was that's really good.
24:50
Now I do have to tell the listener about the one of the
24:55
most exciting things that has ever happened in my life.
24:57
And The thing is, maybe it's not, it's not the most exciting
25:02
thing that's ever happened in my life.
25:03
I think I played it up too big right there.
25:04
You want to start over with the story.
25:07
It's a funny experience, but I have to tell the listeners about
25:09
it because if you haven't heard Listener listeners, I say
25:13
listener like there's only one that's we.
25:15
Always say listener. That's true.
25:17
Actually do that a lot at the. Beginning we said there's no way
25:20
there's more than like one person like one person fucking.
25:22
Listening to this. So we have always referred to
25:25
everything is listeners and then I.
25:27
Referred to everybody as listener Britney, Listener
25:29
Katie, Listener Emily. You know, you're right.
25:31
You're right. So I'm OK.
25:32
I didn't. I didn't.
25:33
I didn't mess it up. Anyway, OK, I'm on the edge of
25:36
my. If you haven't heard yet, BTS is
25:38
coming back. New album being released in
25:41
March. If you don't know, BTS is only
25:44
the biggest like K pop group globally.
25:47
Like majorly famous, huge. OK Been around for how many
25:52
years they've been around for Sam?
25:55
Have they hit their tenure? They debuted in 2013, so yeah.
26:00
And they just finished. They have all finished their
26:02
military service and they are back and so exciting times.
26:07
The new album's coming out then of course we will.
26:10
They will go on tour. Sure.
26:11
Tickets go on sale in back in January and Sam, Liv and I are
26:18
all trying to get our tickets. I know exactly what the story's.
26:20
Going. You know this, OK, Sam's, of
26:22
course it's on a Thursday, OK? Thursday is the only day of the
26:26
week that Sam has to drive into work.
26:27
Otherwise she can work from home.
26:30
I'm like, you got to be kidding with me.
26:31
So we all get our presale code. Sam's at work on her computer
26:36
maybe. Hopefully no one from Sam's
26:37
works listens to this live. Also trying to at work, you
26:42
know, take a break and then, you know, I clock out.
26:43
We all clock, you know, I'm like, I'm going to clock out,
26:45
try to get these tickets and we each have presale code.
26:52
So, you know, this is a presale day.
26:54
But they're going to sell it really fast because they're
26:56
going to, but they're going to do 2 shows each city in football
27:00
stadiums. So it's a ton of tickets, but
27:03
it's still sold out incredibly. Yeah, incredibly fast.
27:05
Yeah. But yeah, I'm in my office and I
27:08
and like I said, I told, I told Tina like I'm going to clock out
27:10
early. And but then of course, I then I
27:13
lose service. I'm in my office.
27:15
And so at 5 minutes till these tickets were in the waiting
27:18
room, I get kicked out of the waiting room and I have to run
27:21
out to my car. I'm in my car and I'm literally,
27:25
I'm singing. Is it Backstreet Boys that
27:28
sings? It's going to be, It's going to
27:29
be me. Or is it In Sync?
27:32
Is it In Sync? I always want to say Backstreet
27:34
Boys, but I'm OK. I'm in my car and I'm literally
27:37
singing. I hope it's not me.
27:38
And I'm like, I'm like please, please, please don't be me.
27:42
Let's say I'm get in first. Somebody, somebody who is calmer
27:45
get in first than me. Nope, it's me.
27:48
We get in, we get in the queue. Sam has like 63,000 people ahead
27:53
of her in the queue. Liv has like 20 something 1000.
27:57
I have 286 people. That's it, 286, that's it.
28:01
So of course I'm screaming into my phone.
28:03
Oh my God, it's me. Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God,
28:06
it's me. I'm screaming.
28:07
I'm in my car. Sam's in her office, but she has
28:09
two other people in her office, so she can't talk.
28:13
And so she's whispering into her phone.
28:14
Mom, I need you to lock it down. I need you to lock it down, Liv.
28:19
Liv. Is all Liv is saying is mom
28:24
section 138, section 138. And I was like, OK, I'm
28:29
screaming into the I'm screaming as and why?
28:31
I don't know, but I'm in my car and I'm screaming into as I'm
28:34
talking to the girls and I'm like OK, I'm counting as it
28:39
counts down. I'm like, OK, 250 people out of
28:41
me. You are people ahead of me.
28:43
Like, I'm screaming, I'm this guy.
28:45
I'm giving them the countdown, Yeah.
28:46
And then I'm in, I'm in. And they're like Section 138 and
28:50
Sam's yelling St. Matt, go to that St.
28:52
Matt. Like, I can't find it.
28:55
I'm screaming. Here's the thing, I'm screaming
28:58
in my car. Here's the thing I need the
28:59
listener to understand is that we have talked about this
29:02
multiple times that like in an emergency, in an emergency, if
29:06
my car is spinning out on the highway, I am the person you
29:09
want to be driving because I will stay calm.
29:12
I will stay calm in that minute, in that, in that exact moment, I
29:16
will stay calm. And you are also usually pretty
29:18
good under pressure. Something really bad is going
29:20
on. You're like, all right, we're
29:21
going to fix it first and we're going to freak out.
29:22
Later you absolutely work the problem, and then you freak out
29:25
later. As soon as tickets go on sale,
29:29
every one of your brain cells shuts.
29:33
Off gone the minute I am the one in in the the on the on the app
29:40
or on whatever it is that that I'm the one in there responsible
29:42
for getting the tickets. That's it.
29:44
I'm in full panic mode, 100% full panic mode 100%.
29:47
You cut your leg off. I'm your girl tourniquet.
29:49
I got you. I get you to the hospital.
29:51
I get an ambulance like it's all.
29:53
Good, I know I'm. Prepared for so many situations,
29:56
not ticket buying. I am.
29:57
I am prepared for that. You are.
30:00
I'm fine. I'm not.
30:04
My fear is that I'm going to screw it up and not get the
30:06
tickets or get terrible tickets or whatever, and then everyone's
30:09
going to be disappointed in me. Well, this is this is my fear.
30:12
And so I know Sam's yelling at me.
30:15
Click the same app up left corner, upper left corner.
30:17
So I finally find it, you know, I zoom in.
30:20
I'm like, I don't zoom in. I'm like, I'm tapping on the
30:22
little circles, which is the seats.
30:23
I cannot. Imagine how small that must be.
30:25
On your it's so tiny and I'm tapping, tapping, tapping,
30:27
tapping. It won't let me saw it and.
30:29
Sam's like so man, but again, she can't yell because there's
30:32
two people in the office with her, so she's literally.
30:34
She's. Not.
30:35
She's not in an office. She's in a kind of space in a
30:38
lab. Yeah.
30:39
Yeah, she's just, but she's a shared.
30:41
Workspace, it's shared space. And so she's whispering, you
30:44
know, so man. And I'm like, OK, OK, OK.
30:48
There's four seats. Boom boom boom boom boom.
30:50
Go, I already, I like, we're smart.
30:52
We get everything set up so that you don't have to like put in
30:55
your credit card number. I'm like, no, you're set up
30:57
before. All you got to do is go, yes,
30:59
buy, pay. So then I'm in.
31:01
So then I do that. I'm like, yes, purchase.
31:03
And then it's processing. You know, you got the little
31:05
wheel of death going and I'm like, OK, it's processing, it's
31:07
processing. And then a little pops and it's
31:09
Ticketmaster. Then that pops up.
31:10
I don't know if you ever bought tickets on Ticketmaster before
31:12
but it pops up and gives you the message says you got them so.
31:19
You got them. So then I yelled.
31:21
I got them. So like bad.
31:24
And they're like prove it screenshot so.
31:26
Screenshot I sent it to them and they're like Oh my God, like I
31:31
don't even know all. I went, I went straight to
31:33
section 138. That's where I went.
31:35
Grabbed 4 seats, got the hell out right.
31:37
Because it's going to your time. That's for the best.
31:39
You're timed. You only have so much time.
31:41
You've got to make your purchase or time out and you get kicked
31:45
to the back of the lawn. You want to have so much time.
31:47
When we get timed out in case. Solicitors were unclear.
31:50
When you're timed, you only have so much time.
31:52
You only have so. Much time you go over, then
31:54
you're. Timed out.
31:55
You were timed out and then you have to start over and then
31:57
you're fine. But then your time has come.
32:00
Your time has come. You will not go see BTS and it's
32:03
only and he will not, he will not have the time of your life.
32:06
He will absolutely not have the time of your life.
32:08
You're going to miss out. So I send the screen chat to
32:12
them. I don't even know what I've
32:13
done. I don't even know what I've
32:17
blacked out. I've bought tickets.
32:19
It could have been to anybody. It could have been, who knows?
32:26
I'm just hoping I'm in the BTS line.
32:29
OK. I send it to send a screenshot
32:32
to Sam and Liv and Mayor, of course, because it's us four.
32:36
And Sam, they live are like, Oh my fucking God, you got row 3.
32:43
Wow. I got row 3 center stage, run
32:46
the 50 yard line. We did not go floor because I'm
32:50
too short and I can't see and I can't get pissy.
32:52
So nobody wants me to be pissy. So we're the 100% front first
32:57
section, very first, lowest section, row 3.
33:01
And so we're all like, Oh my God, Oh my God, we got row
33:04
three. We got the row 3.
33:04
So we're very, very excited. So the mayor texted me, I'm
33:07
screaming in my office. The dog thinks I've got the dogs
33:10
think I've gone crazy. She's all by herself in her
33:13
office screaming. I'm in my car screaming.
33:16
Like if anybody had pulled into the parking lot and saw me in my
33:18
car screaming in my car, they would have been like, Oh my God,
33:21
what is wrong with her? She's officially lost lady.
33:25
So I really can't be trusted with the ticket buying.
33:28
It is not. It is not.
33:31
It's not my best. No.
33:34
No, I don't even know what to call it.
33:37
You're not your best moment. It's it's true.
33:39
Yeah, 1. 100% All right, I've got 2.
33:43
Stories for you. OK, let's hear it.
33:44
I will. Well, one of them's less of a
33:46
story and more just a interesting thing.
33:48
OK, OK, so someone, someone posted a picture of the
33:55
qualifications for an airline stewardess from 1954.
33:59
Legit. This is posted.
34:01
It was Chicago and Southern Airlines qualifications for
34:04
stewardess in 1954. OK, so there's a list of 19
34:11
items here that you would need to fit to be 19 qualifications.
34:16
19 qualifications. OK, All right, so I'm gonna, I'm
34:19
gonna go through these. OK, Number one single, not
34:22
engaged. Interesting #2 between the ages
34:25
of 22 and 28. You have a short lived career.
34:30
Wow. Between 5, two and 55.
34:35
Oh, I fit that one. That's the only category I fit
34:37
OK. OK, beat #4 between 100 and 120
34:41
lbs. Wow, you gotta be a skinny
34:43
bitch. OK, OK. #5 good eyesight, no
34:48
glasses. Oh damn, we can't even wear
34:51
glasses, not even contacts. Six.
34:53
Wow. Good teeth in parentheses.
34:56
In parentheses even. No gold showing when smiling.
35:03
No gold when smiling. OK. #7.
35:06
Good figure. Damn.
35:08
So if you're £120 between 100 and 2000 and 100 and 120, but
35:13
you still got to have a nice rack and ass.
35:15
I mean, that's basically what they're asking for and be.
35:17
Between the 22 and 28 and be single and between.
35:21
And have two. And 55.
35:23
Good T good. T's no gold, no gold.
35:25
Good figure #8 slender legs. Oh my fucking God. #9 natural
35:31
color to hair. Oh, can't dye your hair?
35:33
No, can't 10. At least four years of college,
35:37
or two years of college and two years of business experience.
35:41
To be a stewardess, here's the. Thing if you imagine to start
35:46
draining between the ages of 22 and 28.
35:50
They still won't have 4. Years to have four years. 8:00
35:53
you got to get out of out of high school, go directly into
35:57
college and immediately apply immediately.
36:00
It won't apply. Immediately.
36:02
You, you cannot, you cannot take even another minute to graduate
36:06
or you're not going to. You're not going to fit the
36:08
window. But then, and why would you go
36:09
into this career? I can only work till I'm 28.
36:11
Well, are you OK? They're going to pay her
36:14
millions of dollars so she can retire.
36:15
Like football players. It's like a football.
36:18
That's that's what it must be. The salary is not listed now.
36:21
That was only #10. Oh my God.
36:24
OK, keep going. OK 11 the ability to carry on a
36:26
lively conversation. Oh my God, I want to.
36:29
I want to know how you interview for this. #12 OK, it just says
36:34
good carriage. I have to assume posture.
36:40
Oh, good carriage, I assume. Ow, that's your walk.
36:49
Your how you carry yourself. Yeah, your posture, your walk.
36:55
Do you stop around? Do you walk?
36:56
You know how you carry yourself, right?
37:01
Right. Not the best for somebody who's
37:02
super tall, for sure. It's not very comfortable
37:05
anyway. It might be hard to serve
37:07
people. What does it say?
37:11
A person's bearing or deportment her carriage is graceful her
37:15
movements quick OK right deportment deportment is a
37:19
person's behavior or manners. So it's your behavior or
37:23
manners? Well, OK, I was thought that was
37:25
more of like. You know how you move, how you
37:27
walk, Do you? How do you like you said you
37:29
carry when they say how do you carry yourself?
37:31
Are you stopping around? Posture.
37:33
Right. Posture, yeah.
37:34
Do you have a good posture? Do you have a good walk?
37:37
Your gait is your. I assumed.
37:39
I assumed it meant ass apparently.
37:42
It's fantastic. I thought it says good figure,
37:46
slender legs. You're telling me that he's so
37:48
far fetched they would have put good ass.
37:50
It's 1984. They can't say that good
37:53
carriage. They can't say they can say
37:54
whatever they want in 1954 about women, that's for sure.
37:57
OK, go moving on. What's next?
38:00
These four? This is this is quite the list
38:02
#13 even temper must not become provoked by demands of
38:07
passengers. I mean, that one I get, you
38:09
know, because you're going to have some assholes on the plane
38:11
and you got to be, you got to keep it cool #14 willing.
38:14
And anxious to please. Anxious, not just able.
38:17
Not just willing, but anxious. To.
38:20
Please. Please let me give you a drink.
38:23
Yes, OK #15 willing to transfer. OK.
38:27
Well, yeah, that one. Is totally acceptable. #16
38:31
Assistant in the United States. OK #17 excellent health.
38:36
OK, I don't know what the standard is.
38:38
There is no excellent health. All right #18 clear skin.
38:42
Oh my God at #19 nice hands, those so you.
38:50
Can't have you can't. That leaves out my daughters.
38:53
They're all too tall. They all got man hands that went
38:55
they're all out those. OK.
38:59
All right. You.
39:01
Could have stopped it. Too tall.
39:03
You didn't have to try. They're all too tall.
39:08
They all have the. Minutes, OK.
39:11
Just to be. Clear.
39:12
You could have stopped it. Too tall I could.
39:16
Have you could have. But why would I?
39:18
Where's the fun in that? Well, it's not fun for you, it's
39:23
more about it's. Definitely fun for me.
39:25
What you're talking about, it's more about.
39:29
You know, keeping my pride, my poor.
39:30
Pride. I know, I know.
39:32
It bruised your pride. Do you remember when Liv was
39:34
little? No.
39:35
And she was over at she was over hanging out with Evan and your
39:41
Aunt Sherry was feeding them and they were sitting at the little
39:44
counter like a little, you know, bar type counter.
39:49
And she was making them some food and she leaned over and
39:52
dramatically talks out of the side of her mouth.
39:54
And she's like, Evan, look at your mom.
39:58
Look at her man arms. She says that man.
40:02
She was like, fine, I know Sherry's like Sherry texts.
40:06
Me and I'm like, I am so sorry. I don't even know why she says.
40:12
I don't know why she says the things she says.
40:14
Sherry does not not even I would not even think they have
40:17
considered that. But I mean, even like when you
40:20
know, you know, when you're when Sam was little and there was
40:23
like a there was like a really cute little thing that you'd,
40:26
you'd do the, the the tell somebody a secret and you the
40:32
secret was I love you, OK, Like we would do that all the time.
40:35
You'd whisper in your I love you, like, and then, like, go
40:36
tell Dad a secret, you know, to go tell Dad I love.
40:39
But it was the whole thing. I love you.
40:41
I love you too. Thank you.
40:42
You're welcome. And it was, it was a whole
40:43
routine and it was very cute. Now, Liv didn't have the
40:46
patience for the whole routine, but you could tell her to go
40:49
tell, you know, go tell someone. So a secret.
40:50
And the secret was I love you. OK.
40:52
And so one time we were at Bellevue.
40:55
No, no, we were at the park in O'Fallon.
40:57
And my brother, my brother came out with his kids and his wife.
41:00
And then we're going to meet up and have a fun play day at the,
41:03
at the park. And I said, go tell her.
41:06
I bet she had the secret and living over there whisper, I
41:10
don't like you. I don't like you.
41:18
And so she's laughing. Her aunt is laughing
41:21
hysterically. And I'm like, what did she say?
41:24
What did she say to you again? She's like 3 or 4 years old.
41:27
She's very young. And she tells me I don't like,
41:29
I'm like, I look at, I turn, look at Lynn.
41:30
I go, that's not the secret. What is wrong with you?
41:34
Not the secret. She's such a odd duck.
41:37
I'm telling you what? Oh man, such a stink.
41:39
Man. Oh man, I got no words for her.
41:41
Oh. My God.
41:42
OK anyway, I brought I brought are we ready to move on?
41:45
I brought some stuff I want to show you OK, I was telling you
41:49
about these little these little blind boxes that I got OK, so I
41:55
don't know if you've ever heard of the company Popmart.
41:58
Popmart. Popmart is killing it right now.
42:01
Popmart is killing it right now because they sell all these
42:03
different blind boxes and whoever came up with blind boxes
42:06
is a marketing genius because if you don't get the one you want,
42:11
what do you do? You go buy another one.
42:13
Not everybody, but a lot of people do you know what I'm
42:16
saying? Or right?
42:18
Or if you get one that you really do that you like, it's
42:21
beautiful. Damn, I want another one.
42:22
You know what I'm saying? So they're, they're killing it
42:25
right now. There is a, there is a, there's
42:28
all kinds of different, different Popmart's a company
42:31
that sells them or makes or whatever.
42:33
But then there's different, I don't know, Theme is the right
42:36
word. I think it's skull Panda.
42:39
OK. OK.
42:40
And I love the skull Pandas align.
42:42
There you go. Align from these.
42:44
Yes, So these are called Skull Pandas.
42:47
OK and I am obsessed with the skull pandas yes OK and so I
42:53
brought the the what I have so far to show you because I love
42:58
them OK, so the and I'll post pics online folks so you can see
43:02
my see my beautiful skull pandas.
43:05
I don't really they're made in China and so a lot of them have
43:09
like Chinese themes like part of their like different culture and
43:11
whatnot. So it's kind of cool OK, I find
43:13
I find it kind of fascinating. So it's pretty pretty cool.
43:16
But this and then they have different within skull Panda.
43:20
They have different like this one is from The Mirage set.
43:25
OK and there's like a bunch in the set and they're blind boxes.
43:29
So like this one has like 9 possibilities plus the secret or
43:37
the special depending on whatever they call it.
43:39
And so there's one, as you can see, like there's, so here's the
43:43
nine. And then there's one that you
43:44
don't know what it's going to look like because a mystery one,
43:46
it's the mystery one, the secret 1, whatever.
43:48
And so like this is The Mirage set, This is the sound set.
43:52
This is from the Feast set. They all have a different like,
43:56
theme. Yeah.
43:57
OK. And so I'll show you my first
43:59
one. OK, so this is the what set?
44:01
This one is from. I thought it was the sound
44:03
sound, but the writing on here is very very tiny.
44:06
Well, and a lot of it's in Chinese.
44:08
True. And so, so on the side of the
44:09
box you can kind of see all the different ones.
44:11
This is kind of like naturey. This one's kind of naturey.
44:14
And so like this one is Moss and this one is like is one of them
44:19
is snow. One of them is.
44:20
This is called the Spring. This up here says the valley.
44:23
Is this the? Valley, the one I got is the
44:25
valley I see. I understand OK.
44:27
And so like there's one that's snow, this one's wind, it's kind
44:32
of got this sure. So it's like a nature.
44:34
So they're all kind of nature. So the 1 I loved is the valley.
44:37
Well, now these are these are kind of expensive, but if you go
44:40
to Aliexpress, you actually can pick them when you want.
44:42
You don't have to get it blind hot damned.
44:44
And it's a lot cheaper. And so here she is, here she is.
44:48
Look at her. So look at the look at the
44:50
mountains on her hat. Wow.
44:52
Look at she's got a very traditional Chinese hat on.
44:54
Look. At her little, her little.
44:57
We call it scarf or tunic. Yes.
44:59
Here is difficult to tell because she's sitting.
45:01
Down now the skull painters they all they the tradition have like
45:03
a little like almost like a little helmet on with these
45:05
little circular things on the either side.
45:07
Look at a little flower look at a little flower on her hat.
45:09
Oh, it's a little tassel, little tassel.
45:11
Wow, isn't she gorgeous? Yes they're like little works of
45:15
art. She's got little mountains on
45:16
her feet too. She does lovely.
45:18
I think they're lovely. I do.
45:20
I'm like, I saw these and I'm like, they are like little works
45:22
of art. And so I said a tabby and she
45:23
kind of poo pooed me and I was like, no, I'm going to bring
45:25
them. I'm going to show you.
45:26
Well, I did a poo. Poo.
45:27
Well, you I was literally, you know what, listener?
45:33
I think a little context needs to be given.
45:35
OK, I wasn't poo pooping. We were at No, you weren't.
45:38
You weren't poo. Pooping.
45:39
I I will. I will take them back.
45:40
At the mall, Sarku Japan had just been ripped for my life.
45:44
It's true. OK, I had drowned my sorrows and
45:47
cheesy fries from the O'charley's.
45:49
It's true. We settled.
45:50
I split. With my mother, we settled for
45:51
old Charlie's and we splurged on cheesy fries because we were
45:54
sad. I then needed to go pick up
45:58
groceries. That's true, and the pickup
46:01
window was between 7:00 and. 8 It's now 730.
46:05
I knew that it was like 15 minutes away from where we were
46:09
at. True.
46:10
OK, so it's 7:30. We're in the mall.
46:13
We still have to get to the car. So I'm hustling.
46:17
I'm like, we got, we got, we got to go.
46:19
OK, all of a sudden, boom. Hold on.
46:21
Wait a minute. In one of the kiosks.
46:23
One of these kiosks has got. A skull panda.
46:27
A skull. Panda and I turn it on.
46:29
I don't know what this is and I'm like, is it a life saving
46:33
device? Is it something that will get me
46:36
to the grocery store immediately?
46:38
Not even a little bit. No.
46:40
I then had to stand there and and while you look.
46:42
Through I pick one out picked a mile, but then she had like half
46:45
price. I was like, yes, please, they
46:47
were on that. Those are those are the plushy
46:48
ones. I didn't bring the plushy ones.
46:50
Well, that's OK. I like.
46:51
I prefer the figurines. You go to purchase and she goes
46:54
I want to take cash. I know.
46:56
Oh, yeah, I actually need to pay you back.
46:57
No, it's. You it's fine oh you're right
46:59
you're right OK we're fine we're we're we shopped OK OK and then
47:04
she was only have cash now you're lucky because I had cash
47:07
on I would have been in trouble I.
47:08
Would have had to walk away. To get you, it's going to have
47:12
to. You're just going to have to
47:13
have a a. So fashion, hold up, so you
47:16
were, I think everyone was a little peeked at me because I
47:18
was I was holding her up. Right.
47:19
I was like, come on, come on, we'll go.
47:22
OK, which one do I want to show you now?
47:24
I was not poo pooping, I was in a rush.
47:26
Understood. Understood.
47:28
And then again, that was a plushie.
47:29
And those are cute and they're very soft and you can hang them
47:31
from whatever. These are the figurines.
47:33
Okay, let's see the feast. One this is called the Feast and
47:36
I. Say let's see this because I
47:37
think you've showed me this one. Before they're incredible,
47:39
they're really cool. And so each one of the skull
47:41
painted girls is food related. It's based on like British
47:46
different serving utensils. I see serving utensils, not
47:51
their food, not the food, because then we would have no,
47:53
they're gorgeous. They're gorgeous.
47:55
The Branston pickle. They have like a fork and a
47:57
knife and and I can't even describe it, but the little girl
48:00
figure is is the feast of utensil.
48:02
OK, I end up getting. I did do a blind on this one.
48:05
OK. And I was so crazy excited
48:08
because I ended up getting the silver claret jug, which is
48:14
like, claret's like wine. I see.
48:17
And so if you, like, this is like the handle and like, you
48:22
could see, like a jug and you would like, pour.
48:23
I see. And then look at like, this is
48:26
like the lane. OK, Lovely.
48:27
Look at these. Isn't she incredibly gorgeous?
48:30
Like a handle? Yeah, that's the handle.
48:32
And like, you could see, like, this is like where you would
48:33
pour Steven some wine. The wine's spilling out.
48:36
And she's got this beautiful red hair.
48:39
And now we're going to have to. We'll post.
48:41
Photos. I will absolutely post photos.
48:43
You're going to. You're going to fall in love
48:44
with these. But is she not just a little
48:46
work of art? It's this little little girl.
48:49
And she looks like a she she's representing the the like the
48:53
wine, the red wine inside of this little jug.
48:56
And she's beautiful. So I was thrilled.
48:59
I was so excited because I opened her up and I was like,
49:01
oh, I felt like I got one of one of the most beautiful ones.
49:04
So I was pretty excited. OK, OK, this set is, I can't
49:10
even remember what this one's called.
49:11
OK, but this one's all kind of like emotions.
49:14
So there's like this or there's like anger, actually.
49:16
Grief, which is 1 is actually pretty incredible.
49:20
Joy, trust. There's one that's called
49:23
horror, vigilance, all kinds of stuff.
49:26
Disgust, you said. Horror.
49:28
Horror. No, no.
49:30
And this one's the horror. It's actually terror.
49:32
Sorry, I said horror. It's terror, pensiveness,
49:36
ecstasy. And then the one that I wanted
49:40
because I loved her. I this one, I did not go blind.
49:44
I actually bought the one I wanted is called Serenity, OK.
49:48
And I was like, you know what? I need some serenity in my life,
49:50
especially at work. And I have her on the end.
49:53
That's the ship that they fly. On Firefly, it's true.
49:55
And I have her on my desk. I didn't show you, but each of
49:58
them comes with the beautiful artwork on the car.
50:00
Oh, I see. Isn't that gorgeous?
50:02
OK, OK, so here she is. Look at her.
50:04
Here she is. Isn't she gorgeous like she's
50:08
got? And she has visor a little part
50:10
of her helmet and it's magnetic. So it just.
50:14
Clicks on there while we. And she's got serenity,
50:18
serenity. And I was like, I need that at
50:19
my work. And so I have her on my desk at
50:21
work. And so I'm like, does it bring
50:23
you any piece I'm trying? Yeah, you know.
50:30
That's all I can say. That's all I can say.
50:32
You. Started you started that said
50:33
it's five times and. I'm trying, I did.
50:35
She's like she's got her little arms out kind of like she's
50:37
meditating almost. And but she's got this beautiful
50:40
green color and I love green. So she spoke to me and I was
50:44
like, I do need to be more serene because I get too way too
50:47
worked out. Like part of me is like, you
50:50
know how it's like, I don't know.
50:53
It's like I gotta stop being mad about stuff.
50:55
I just seem to just. Let the little.
50:57
Things. Just let it go and just do your
50:59
job. Here I am buying more little
51:00
things. And be done not to let go of.
51:02
Yes, exactly. And so then, okay, I put it
51:05
away. So then this is The Mirage
51:07
series I was talking about and there's a tea house over like a
51:10
boba tea house over by by Cork and I went in there and she's
51:15
the girl. It's got them all in display in
51:17
there and I fell in love with them.
51:18
That's how I saw all the skull. Pandas big mistake displays.
51:22
And I fell in love the Skull Pandas because this girl has
51:24
them in that some in the some tea house.
51:26
And so this one is incredible because they all come in like a
51:30
little ball. This set does.
51:32
The characters are inside of a little ball.
51:34
They're in a ball. And I don't know, they're just
51:37
gorgeous in the ball. And this one is called the
51:40
skeleton. And she sits on the little
51:43
stand. OK, look at her.
51:45
Isn't she gorgeous? Pick her up so I can have the.
51:47
Absolutely. Oh, look at her.
51:49
That doesn't and it spins. OK, This one spins.
51:52
This one spins. This is the only one that spins.
51:54
The little thing in there. Just push hard, push hard, OK.
51:58
I was afraid. I didn't want to break it.
51:59
I was like, my God spins. And you can kind of see like the
52:01
back and the ball is this one, this one, the ball is black and
52:05
it has like a traditional red and gold Chinese symbols.
52:09
Yes, there's as you can see this one, you can see them better.
52:13
There's all kinds of different ones, very cute.
52:15
And Liv and I actually looked them up because they're
52:16
definitely go along with like Chinese culture.
52:19
Yes, like this one's called like the hill sensor.
52:23
And it's like what does that mean?
52:24
And so we looked it up like, what that meant, like.
52:27
And there's. So there's a whole bunch of
52:28
different ones and they're all beautiful.
52:30
Yeah. And I struggled for months
52:31
deciding on which one I wanted. Months.
52:35
Good. Look at there and look at the
52:36
detail. Like the attention, even on the
52:38
ball. Yeah.
52:39
The attention to detail is pretty incredible on these.
52:42
This is not just like a tiny little work of art.
52:44
Very lovely, isn't it? I love them.
52:46
So I'm obsessed. I love them.
52:49
I'm trying to, like, limit myself now and be like, OK, you
52:51
have the ones you love. Yeah, stop.
52:53
But of course, they're always going to come out with more.
52:55
Well, sure. Now some people, well, there's
52:58
actually you can watch on YouTube and people will post
53:00
like openings of blind boxes and they have like all of them and
53:05
they have an entire room dedicated to their collections.
53:07
My goodness, And they have one in the they have everyone in the
53:09
series that's commitment and that's a lot of money.
53:13
Well, and that might not be for financial commitment big time
53:16
and and plus space. Where do you put them?
53:18
All right. And so.
53:19
You said plus space. Yeah, I really want to go up
53:22
the. Final Frontier.
53:23
Well, legit. Well, that's why the Skull
53:25
painters kind of appeal to me, because you know how much I
53:27
love, like space and they look like they've got little Hummels
53:31
of the little things that kind of remind me of like little
53:32
space. Yeah.
53:34
So anyway, that's my skull painting collection.
53:37
I only have 4 right now. Those are lovely, but I think
53:39
they're a little tiny Works. Of art, that's what I call them.
53:41
And but I kind of like the idea of like picking out like my
53:45
favor from the series instead of having all of them.
53:50
Plus, where in the hook would you put them all?
53:51
Like I don't even. Know, I don't know.
53:52
So I have to build an addition on the back of my house so that
53:55
I can put my Skull Panda collection in there.
53:57
So that's the goal, yes, when I win the lottery.
54:00
Now I noticed that you were wearing the shawl that you got.
54:02
Yesterday we did went shopping, went shopping.
54:04
I got a. Cute little they know because I
54:05
was just bitching about I was hustling out of the mall to go
54:08
to groceries. It's true.
54:10
Maurice's Mass 60% off their clearance.
54:13
I got this. What?
54:13
It is 8 bucks, $8. That was great, $8.
54:15
What a what a deal. Super cute.
54:17
And I was warm today at work. OK, I have another story.
54:20
OK, here we go. OK, so this is a comedian.
54:24
She gives this whole thing and she has a PowerPoint
54:26
presentation and she, like, sings a little ditty with it.
54:30
I'm not going to do all that. No, sorry.
54:33
Why are you teasing me like that?
54:34
I know. Boo.
54:36
The back story is this comedian put her bed frame up for sale on
54:40
Facebook marketplace. OK, OK and then she received a
54:44
request for the item. Someone wants to purchase it.
54:46
OK, yes, so here we go. I'm going to go through this as
54:51
best as I can. OK, so she she gets the message.
54:56
Is the bed frame still available?
54:57
Yes, and then but she sends the nails emoji is is that better
55:04
for sale? Yes, nails Nails emoji from the.
55:07
From the prospective buyer, prospective buyer, OK.
55:09
And then she says, can I please negotiate the bag of money some?
55:14
This person speaks in emojis. OK.
55:19
Please negotiate the price. The no.
55:22
Why angry face? It's free.
55:31
The the purchaser says you run a hard bargain, Lou.
55:34
That's the Queen's name, Lou, but that's just not the way
55:37
marketplace working. OK, That is a pretty good
55:47
bargain. She said.
55:49
No, like you were a hard bargain, but that's just not the
55:52
way marketplace working. Marketplace, she said.
55:54
OK, how about half price just for you Eileen, She says.
56:01
How much now? Are you serious?
56:07
Still free, Still free, Still free. 3 salsa dancing girls.
56:19
You are the best. Party pop emoji.
56:22
Party Pop emoji. Pig nose emoji.
56:25
Why the pig nose? God, that's awesome.
56:30
She sends her her address. Wow, that's a long, long way
56:33
from my house. OK.
56:37
How about a small discount? Can't surcharge.
56:48
Eileen, I can't be clear. It's now there are club emojis
56:52
between each of these words. It's free to pick up.
56:56
Free to pick up. Could you drive it to me?
57:08
Prayer emoji, she responds. WTF Please car emoji.
57:14
No, please no, please no, please no.
57:18
I don't own a car. Why didn't you say so?
57:20
Why? Why did you say so?
57:23
Oh my God, why didn't you say so?
57:25
I can drive. See you tomorrow at 5:00.
57:30
OK. So does she deliver it?
57:33
Or is that we just? Don't know.
57:34
We just assume we are not. Halfway.
57:36
Oh wow. See you tomorrow at 5:00.
57:41
OK. All right.
57:42
Very early the next morning, she receives a message from Eileen.
57:46
Lou. I'm out the front.
57:50
I'm out the front. Out the front.
57:53
Sent at 5:00 AM. Oh my gosh.
57:56
She's going outside all day. She's out there my way.
58:00
She has. Brady said it all.
58:02
So now she hasn't responded because I'm sure she's probably
58:04
asleep. Well, yeah.
58:05
All cast Now note that everything going forward is an
58:08
all cast. I said see you at 5:00.
58:13
Please. Come out and let me in.
58:17
I should have known not to trust you.
58:19
Axe emoji, Pickaxe emoji. Fire emoji.
58:23
Emoji. Fire emoji.
58:26
I should have known you didn't care.
58:29
Vomit emoji. Fire emoji.
58:33
OK, overdramatic. I show up on time.
58:37
Are you? Are you dead?
58:39
But she But are you? Skull emoji, Skull emoji, Cough
58:42
and emoji please. Praying hands, Where is bed my?
58:53
God, what is happening? What in the action where?
58:59
Is bed? Where is bed OK?
59:02
She messaged her back. How was I supposed to know that
59:05
you what you meant was? 5:00 AM.
59:07
How would I know? This, she responds.
59:11
Knock, knock, knock. Eileen, let me in.
59:16
No, this is not an ideal time for you to get the bed frame.
59:20
What time, then, could you come back at 8:00 AM?
59:23
But I'm outside with the like, you know, begging the, the, you
59:28
know, begging eyes emoji. She Did Eileen go to that Lady?
59:32
Did the lady come, Eileen? Eileen, the buyer went to Lou,
59:36
the comedian, the seller's house.
59:38
What? How did she get there?
59:39
She has no car. No, no, no, no, sorry.
59:41
Lou has no car. The comedian has no car.
59:43
She cannot drive. I see the bed frame.
59:45
So she said that makes sense. So the buyer said, see you at 55
59:49
AM I'm here. But Oh my gosh, she says but I'm
59:54
outside. Lou says my housemates are
59:57
sleeping. Should I just knock crazy emoji
1:00:00
emoji. The convenience says this is
1:00:05
getting creepy. 8:00 AM that's my final offer and the buyer
1:00:09
says what if I gave you $200? He's sold.
1:00:13
Oh she puts heart emoji. Sure lol.
1:00:16
The buyer says no way your bed is worth shit, you won't get
1:00:19
that out of me. You will offer the 200.
1:00:24
Dollars. She says you don't have OK, so
1:00:27
then the comedian says you don't have to collect it.
1:00:30
Eileen says OK, see you at 8:00. OK, see you at 8:00.
1:00:40
See you at 8, she says. I go back to sleep.
1:00:43
I go back to sleep. I wake up at 8.
1:00:47
Nothing. 12 hours later, Lou, I'm here again, she responds.
1:00:59
It's 8:00 PM Yes, where is the bed?
1:01:04
I'm dead. Yes, where is the bed?
1:01:09
What is happening? She says, the comedian said.
1:01:12
Is the concept of time too hard to comprehend?
1:01:15
I think it is absolutely. You are 12 hours late, Eileen.
1:01:19
I can't get you the bed. I'm at work right now.
1:01:22
Like I'm not even home. Oh my gosh.
1:01:25
Eileen says. But I came all the way back for
1:01:27
it. What?
1:01:31
Yeah, Lou says. Yep.
1:01:34
Shrug emoji. That's the break.
1:01:37
Eileen No in all caps please. Broken heart emoji.
1:01:41
Pumpkin Jack O Lantern emoji. Emoji.
1:01:44
Sorry, typo. Seriously, please, where is the
1:01:49
bed? Seriously.
1:01:53
Where that messages her? Her roommate?
1:01:56
OK, OMG that lady's back. What?
1:01:58
Can you help her get the bed? Sure, she messages the woman.
1:02:02
OK, look, my housemate's home. Knock on the door.
1:02:05
Ask for Tim 4-O2, No 4-O3. Knock, knock, knock.
1:02:09
This is the back and forth. Knock, knock.
1:02:11
It's four O3. Knock, knock, knock.
1:02:14
Anyone in angry emoji. Dolphin emoji.
1:02:17
Poop. Poop emoji poop.
1:02:22
Emoji. Now she's serious.
1:02:25
Lou says if you're gonna be a bitch you'll never get the bed.
1:02:30
But I really want it and I am already here.
1:02:35
Oh my God. Then she says the bed is not
1:02:37
packed up and this is not what I expected.
1:02:39
I'm taking the bedding and the pillow in the mattress.
1:02:43
Lou says what with three question marks, there is no
1:02:47
bedding. Just talk to Tim, he'll show you
1:02:49
what to take. Is this free picture of a pillow
1:02:53
on a bed? That's not my pillow taking
1:02:56
pillow. Where'd you?
1:02:57
Get that pillow. Where's the pillow from?
1:02:59
Taking the pillow. That's pillow.
1:03:08
Taking pillow. Where'd you get that pillow?
1:03:09
What even is that pillow? Where the fuck are you?
1:03:12
She messages Tim the the roommate.
1:03:15
Is Eileen there? No.
1:03:16
Oh my God. Shit.
1:03:19
Fuck. Oh my God, Oh my God.
1:03:22
Oh my God, Oh my God. Feeling someones bang?
1:03:25
Lou, it's perfect. 3 bed emojis, exactly what I want, bigger than
1:03:29
I than I thought and free bedding.
1:03:32
Thank you. 5 stars. Wait, whose bed is she taking?
1:03:36
Miss audio call, Miss audio call.
1:03:38
Miss audio call. Miss audio call.
1:03:41
Miss audio call. Miss call.
1:03:44
Miss Call cannot talk driving with bed.
1:03:47
Oh, she stole the bed. Eileen, can you please pick up
1:03:52
nails emoji? Nails emoji.
1:03:56
I don't think you took my bed, Tim said.
1:03:59
You never picked it up. Thank you for the bed, Lou.
1:04:03
Oh, let's call Eileen. Fuck she.
1:04:08
Took someone's bed. A message from my neighbor.
1:04:13
Everyone in the building. Hi all.
1:04:17
I'm going to be OK get. Together.
1:04:22
Hi all, we've just been robbed. We have just been robbed.
1:04:39
Our bed and shape were taken from the front room.
1:04:43
Please lock your. Doors.
1:04:50
Oh holy shit, she messages. You stole my neighbour's bed.
1:04:58
My bed's. Still here.
1:04:59
A picture of the bed is still there.
1:05:02
You took. The wrong bed from the wrong
1:05:04
house. I did no such thing.
1:05:13
Then she blocks me. Eileen, please, where is bed?
1:05:19
And that's it. This woman just made off with
1:05:26
the bed. That's it.
1:05:28
She's like, I'm out, thanks for the bed.
1:05:30
Eileen, whoever she may be. Oh my God, what a fucking.
1:05:36
What an absolute hilarious. We've just been.
1:05:41
Robbed and all they took was a bed and the sheets.
1:05:50
How did? First of all, how did this?
1:05:52
Woman get the bed out of there and in like what?
1:05:54
What kind of vehicle did she have?
1:05:57
Like a bed is a big thing. She isn't going to transport it.
1:06:01
Like a bed frame you could take apart, but a mattress that's
1:06:03
pretty big. That is so funny.
1:06:07
I have a headache now from laughing so hard.
1:06:09
Oh my God, that is hilarious. So that's pretty good.
1:06:12
That's pretty good. That is a crazy story.
1:06:15
The comedian is Australian, so I assume that this happened in
1:06:18
Australia, but I don't know for sure.
1:06:20
No guarantee. That's a good guess.
1:06:23
That's funny. Come to the house.
1:06:24
No fuck. Oh my God.
1:06:26
Oh. My God, they're both going
1:06:28
backwards. Oh my God.
1:06:29
Oh my God. Oh my God.
1:06:30
Oh my God. Like, and there's no way you're
1:06:35
set. You're owning up today.
1:06:37
Honestly, the the first thing I'm going to do and be like,
1:06:40
well I have a bed if you want it.
1:06:44
How can I negotiate the price? No, it's free.
1:06:47
It's free. We drop.
1:06:49
That's not how. That's not how Facebook.
1:06:51
Marketplace works no, how it's working how marketplace is
1:06:55
working. Oh, that's.
1:06:56
Fantastic. OK, have a half off for you.
1:06:59
OK, where's the price out Still free.
1:07:01
Free salsa dancing girls emojis. Wow, I, I don't think I, we, we
1:07:11
text enough with, with in emojis.
1:07:12
We don't have to tip up our game.
1:07:14
The tip of my emoji game. Absolutely.
1:07:17
Your dad, your dad's pretty good about texting with emojis.
1:07:20
Yeah. We've circled back to
1:07:21
hieroglyphics. That's.
1:07:22
Really good? Absolutely.
1:07:23
Oh man, I think that's about all I got.
1:07:24
I'll tell you what, that's a great way to end it.
1:07:26
That's a good one. That's a.
1:07:27
Great story. That was pretty good.
1:07:28
That is a great story. I was that was listeners and it
1:07:31
just kept going, Yeah. And you said, oh, it's funny.
1:07:33
You're like, oh, is that the? End.
1:07:34
I thought that was the end. We're not even halfway.
1:07:36
I can't believe it. We're not even halfway.
1:07:38
That's fantastic. All right, well, those poor
1:07:41
people that lost their bed. You know what?
1:07:45
Lock your fucking door. First of all, lock your door.
1:07:48
Just. In case I wasn't clear, lock
1:07:49
your doors. That's funny.
1:07:51
So that is hilarious. All right, well, I'm about you,
1:07:54
but ever this, I'm gonna need some serious beef.
1:07:56
Some serious teriyaki. Ohh, bye.
1:07:59
Bye.