Latest / Jess Ask / When You Believe:Preparing for Answered Prayers | Featuring Jaye Little | EP42

Transcript

When You Believe:Preparing for Answered Prayers | Featuring Jaye Little | EP42 · Jess Ask

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Hey, it's your girl, Jess. You've just entered a safe space for
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Kingdom entrepreneurs and creatives to decompress, have fun, and yeah, you've guessed
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it a safe place to just ask. Before we get into it, be
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sure to subscribe and download the podcast, follow me on all platforms at the
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Jessica S. Smith and invital friend. Also, make sure you d m
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me your feedback and questions so we can keep the conversation going. Now,
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let's get into this week's episode. M this is ninth and tenth high school.
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I said, well, if the children say that it's hard, then
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I'm gonna go a hard post and within virum more than what I could have
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ever. Yeah, virul, I see it because I was gonna wait the
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people that I asked to create it. I was like, hey, can
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you make this beat? Hey, can somebody just like a beat for me?
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So I could write the song. It would have taken longer and it
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wouldn't have had it. So you made the beat too, hm ya ya
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yahya. And then like, so I've been practicing on logic pro okay because
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I want to be able to produce my own music. One day I got
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the piano, I got the equipment. I have the things. I just
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need to make sure that I make the time to learn learn the software.
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So I was like, I could learn it by doing that. So I
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was like that week I had been fastened at church somewhere profit is Barbera Calo,
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and we had been fasting, and I hadn't been able to sleep as
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much as I usually would sleep had I not been fasting. So I was
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up since I had woke up at one o'clock that morning, and I stayed
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up and made the beat from like one to three am, and by the
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time I finished around three, I had to beat. It was all voice
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chess yo, yah yah yah listen like the power of fast. We're good
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listen, Okay, y'all were already in here. Oh yeah, we just
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started when she pressed the way and we just we laugh. Y'all. Y'all,
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y'all welcome. Just Ask the podcast where we create a SA space for
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influencers to decompress half fun and just ask. It's your girl, Jessica Smith.
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That's Ray over there, just with the fons on. I don't even
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think she's gonna speak to day on the mic. She's shaking her dreads.
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She coming to the clubs, shaking her dreads on the book we all want
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today. My friend is in the building. If y'all don't know, y'all
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got to give it up for my friend, my sister, the artist,
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the creative, the vocalist, the author, the teacher, the flag woman.
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Okay, because if you, if you, if you're in the city,
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you know she throwd them flags. Okay, shout out to as U
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the Jay Lisa Little, but y'all might call it Ja little, y'all give
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it up or welcome to the new set, bab Listen, everywhere goes and
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girls, and that's what that's what. That's what he say, Jessica,
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don't keep it Okay, I'm gonna listen, Jessica. J Okay, listen.
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Okay. Let me let me get a folk for bad Store because when
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she started, when she started, so this is my friend for real,
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Like, this is my friend for real. We've been knowing each other.
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I think it's I think I think it's probably a little bit before. I
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think because I came to I went to Montgomery in twenty nineteen. Okay,
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So I think it's so it might be. It might be five years,
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probably at least five years we'll say at least five years. So, but
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I've been a fan for longer than that. We know the same people,
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right, I've been following this J J Little Lady and this J Little Lady,
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and I was such a fan and like she was just so genuine.
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And I think when when I finally moved, that's because I've been following this
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before I moved to the city or had moved to the city. And once
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we had a connection, and we really connected after our first I first interviewed
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her, so I got a whole interview with her calls called the Creator's Voice.
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I had, like this whole creative series going on in my apartment and
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we recorded in an apartment with my iPhone. There it is. We recorded,
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we got evidence, we got benings. Despise them, not cause we
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got it worked clearly, it's come on now. So when she found me
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from a place of like genuine is not just like because this soul we did
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at my house, I forgot about that. I had to we were talking.
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I said, I got it. We did. We met. We
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couldn't. Let's say we connected because I met you online. Okay, okay,
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I seen you. I was a fan, but face to face face.
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We were serving in her house at my house because the women and God
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came together and they started praying and shutting stuff down because it got real.
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Don't get around the early women just think you're gonna just have a regular birthday
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party, because that was it was it was. It was a surprise birthday
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party. Yeah, so it happened. So Jay, I want to say
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thank you so much for one, just for one being here in the new
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space, in the elevated place, but also thank you for believing me,
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believing in me, and giving me an opportunity to do relationship with you before
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this. Because everybody's not grace to see the evolution of a thing. I
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get to see it. Man, that's an honor on my end. Man,
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God, thank you for the access that you give me, and you
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teach me how to manage it. Well, come on, somebody, come
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on, come on. He said, Okay, I can trust you to
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keep this relationship. And you know the gag is we don't have to talk
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like we literally it could be months before we talk to each other, but
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when we talk, it picked right back up. That's why we gotta make
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sure we on a time on this because y'all the assignment of understood when we
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come together. Yes, it is. It really is, because you can
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celebrate people, be genuinely happy for them as they grow. Like like I
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said, sis is an artistis is an author? You got three books,
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don't you? Yes? Three books? Okay, name the Father one.
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The first book is called where is My Dad? I Finally Found the Father.
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The second one is Restore Her Worth. The third one is seven Years
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of Famine the Shortage of God. And I haven't read that one yet.
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I'm excited about lower that one. But let's go to the first book.
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Okay, the first book, say that title again, where is my Dad?
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I Finally found the Father? So can you give us a backstory on
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your heart for that? Because for one, becoming an author in general,
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it's hard because you gotta fight your own thoughts and you're overthinking. Then you're
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talking about your your relationship with your father, and you gotta finish. Okay,
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I'll try to give a small backstory. The small backstory is I was
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really tired of feeling in relationships with men, and I three Uncle Hearty's event.
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That's that's my that listen. Shout out to Hearty. Don't play her
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because she is I'm the one that's behind her because she's obedient, I'm able
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to do what I what I'm calling You're really really the reason why I even
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got a YouTube page the obedience of others. When you're obedience, someone can
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literally be free from your obedience. Come on, somebody. And she had
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an event called at the route. The speaker that was there was Dendre Williams.
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I believe, but Chandra, Chandra. I think it's Chandra. But
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she said you have to accept God as father m M. And that hit
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me because I was like, what who was she talking to? I realized
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that I embraced God as everything else but father because I did not have the
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relationship that I needed, desired, and wanted from my biological father growing up.
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And so when when I had a lot of different feel relationships with men,
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they were always situationships relationships, or I was being connected to broken men.
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Often I was like, wait, okay, it has to be deeper
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than this. It's not just him, It's not just me. I need
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to go all the way down to the man that is considered my first love.
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But it wasn't just my dad. It's God as father. YEA,
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the lover of my soul, and so that is where where is my dad?
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I finally found the father came from. I have four siblings, we
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all have different moms, and so we all met for the first time in
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twenty nineteen for Christmas first time. And while that was a happy moment,
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it was a hurtful moment because my oldest brother said that really opened up a
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level of me that I never faced. It hurts so much. So I
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wrote it for me and my siblings, or for anyone who grew up without
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their father in their life, whether it was due to them being them being
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not physically here, not emotionally there, or they just weren't there, you
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know. So that was that book. Isn't that the same book though?
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Because you are a teacher, that is your nine to five. Yes,
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but it's also your lifestyle to we really think about it, like you,
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you really for one, You for the kids. I write for my children,
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like you you you're an advocate for them kids. I do it for
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my children, like nook and book. Okay, I'm writing for my children.
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My kids, we see it. I could cry shut out to my
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babies. Just anybody that I've talked from middle school to high school, anybody
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my children, j D Jack, Babies Mill this for y'all. For y'all,
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there was a point where I think I saw a post where you were
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talking about if if this is the same book, it was a young man
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that came to you and was touched by your book. How does that response
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make you feel? Like? What does that do for you? When you
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get your hardship and even I know they had to be hard, man,
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like I was ready to share that. Yes, yeah, I know they
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had to be hard. We could talk about that, but also the outcome
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and the result of your babies, your chudren seeing you walking is light?
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What is what does? What did that make you feel? And did that
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encourage you to write the next the next two books? Yes, when I
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get feedback from my students or anybody truthfully, however, when it's from my
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from my students, it's like I believe God a little bit more. M
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my God. So when I it's like, Okay, God, I know
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that I hear you, I know that you talk to me. And even
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believers have moments of doubt when they are a little when they we all have
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those moments because it's just a it's a human, it's a natural human thing
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to want to trust yourself or to want to be self sufficient. However,
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it's like do it. God, Thank you, Thank you for using me,
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even though I didn't feel like I was worthy enough to be used.
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Come on, even though the pain that I walked through while being in that
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journey for this suffering doesn't compare to the glory that I'll be revealed later my
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God. So where there is suffering, I now know because his word says
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glory is coming after this. Listen. So hey, it may not happen
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while you're in it, but because because I'm suffering with God in this,
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while doing what he tells me to do, while pouring out whatever he puts
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inside of me, I'm like, okay, all right, okay, all
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right, okay, t yours, Okay, Okay, heart break power Jay.
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You said, because I'm suffering with God in this. A lot of
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us don't believe that we when we suffer, we suffer alone. And it's
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a difference between suffering understanding who the posture and the position that we suffer Who's
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with you? And so how did you even get to that point of understanding
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that God is with you even when you suffer? Because if God answered this
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question. If God is so good, why would he position himself to see
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you suffer or position himself to go with you through the suffering. If he's
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so good, If he's so why would he allow us? Yeah? Like
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what what? What would what would a good God look like to go into
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something like that with us the same way he sent his son to do it.
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Come on, somebody, that's it. He's good. He's good.
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But that's the truth. But he literally became. He sent his son to
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be God as man, to walk the earth blameless without saying, but je,
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everything that Jesus walked through was literally so that we can do the same
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thing while we're here. And I love John sixteen thirty three. I fear
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not because I've already overcome the world. So it's like, Okay, while
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I'm suffering, I'm like, Okay, Jesus made it through it too,
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all right, Okay, My God is victorious, He's Victoria, He's champion.
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I am an heir of my father who said I can't make it through
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it. And if there is any time that I hear you know, you
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know you're not gonna make it through it. You know you can't do this.
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You ain't nothing. You can't. No, my father did. Who
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I belonged to is proof that I'm going to get through this too. It's
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evidence. It's evidence that Naomi Rain did that when she said she sang that
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song. You've got evidence, y'all, the living proof that he keeps prom
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and his word won't fail. You can wrap that again. You've got evidence.
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You're the living proof that God keeps promises and his word won't fail.
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Because you always keep y'all world. That's what you do. That's what you
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do. God, you always keep y'allward. That's what you do. That's
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what you do. Yeah, listen, we're standing in it, we're living
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in it. We're walking in it. Literally, we're here, you're sitting
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in it. Literally, listen, see desert. You want to talk without
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a mic because that's all you got. While you told tapping over there because
16:00
faith business, no, like you sing with so much grace and purpose you
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why did you look at me like I was just thinking? I was like,
16:14
cause I'm we stand in the gap for others. So now I know
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I'm not just singing for me. I'm singing for someone else who needs to
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hear it. When did you realize that? Probably yesterday but all right,
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come on, Mary. Literally, I was like, dang, I know
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I'm not going through this for myself because I just said that. I'm like,
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I'm dealing with generational battles. I like overcoming the spirit of anger,
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the spirit of LUs, depression, anxiety, all of those things. I
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was just born here something I got forty six chromosomes, twenty three from Mama,
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twenty three from daddy. If it's you know, clear, but something's
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in me that I have to fight from what what's from what's from wherever I'm
17:02
from? But whatever I go through, it's for somebody else. So let's
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I'm having a brain fart right now because you're just saying that. I was
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just thinking about that song. You already know what I'm gonna go to HM
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your first single, move Me. Okay, let's go there. Where are
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we going? The the just the song in general, where you come from?
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Yes, girl, let me get my questions out. Listen. But
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we talked, we have, we have, We've been having so much going
17:37
I'm gonna be yes. Move Me is a powerful song, like really powerful
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song and the story behind that, and I think it's too beautiful for us
17:51
to not share on this platform. The elevated platform, because it's still real,
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like because even for us to be where we are right now, what
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had to happen? Get out of the way like that doubt. It's a
18:03
new prayer. Now, God moved me because I'm thinking, okay, twenty
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twenty, okay, yeah, the song out, that's for that. Here
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I am three years later, still saying the same prayer, Lord moved me
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out of my way because you have to remember your foundation, because once you
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go higher, you got to remember what you're anchored in, so that when
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you go higher, you won't lose who you are and you won't make a
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fool of yourself, make a decision you ain't got no business making because you
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forgot what got you up there in the first place, humbling yourself every day
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as we go, hire the Lord, we gotta go. So what place
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were you in originally when you wrote that particular song, the same the similar,
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similar place that I was when the book had to be released. So
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the song happened before the books. Okay, So when God moved me out
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of my way, I was able to write the books. I was still
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I was really getting sick and tired of myself, Like, okay, why
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am I still in the same situation after years? Why am I still feeling
19:00
the same thing? Why am I still doing certain actions that I know are
19:07
not They're not helped, They're not benefiting me nor the people around me.
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God, You're gonna have to do something. I need something because and then
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and then me and your relationship ain't even tight because I don't talk to you,
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daddy. I'm so tired. Why can't I just focus on you?
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I'm thinking about me, friends, me and family, everybody else. But
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why can't I just focus on you and I? Why can't you? Why
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can't I see who you see when you see me? Because you still got
19:36
me doing stuff. I'm still doing this. I'm still serving, going here,
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going there, somebody come to me. Oh, you're just so babe.
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I can't feel that because I don't understand what it is. So that's
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where movement came from. God. It's a prayer song. Just move me
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out of my way. I'm so tired of being in my own way because
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I keep messing up. I keep falling short every time. I want stuff
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to get better, but I'm not getting better. But that's because I'm not
20:03
allowing God to do it. That's so good. I'm trying to be superwoman,
20:08
self sufficient, selfish, autumn essays when I should just look to the
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savior. Yeah, that's so good. What I heard you just say is
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that we have to be strong enough to be weak. We have to be
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strong enough to be weak, and you found your strength. I grew up
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strong like my mom, independent mom, single mom. All I knew was
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her doing whatever it takes to get it done. That's all I know.
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Work, work, build money, don't go to nothing but bills. Making
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sure you're getting it done. But let's see where your soul is. Be
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strong enough to be weak, be real yourself to say I'm not okay,
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Yeah I cannot do this by myself. I need help. I don't have
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this, I ain't got this, I ain't got it today or tomorrow,
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and choosing not to try to have it either because we can say, oh,
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I don't have it, and but we're still trying to have it.
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So it's like, what's the point of the real realization of not having it?
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Like, what's the what's the point of the wisdom of saying God saying
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hey, you know I got you. You know what I'm saying, you
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know I'm here Hey, here are you? Hey? Not even up here?
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Sometimes we be so like, oh God is here. No, it's
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like, hey, if you just look right. And what a friend we
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have in Jesus, all all of our sayings all and grieves to bear.
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What a privilege it is to carry everything everything, not some things, not
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everything. Listen, we real churchy, so unapologetic it is. It is
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what it is. Is, it ain't what it really ain't even churchy.
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Well I call it churchy, but we say it's a phrase that we say.
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Yeah, it's a phrase that we say. But honest to God,
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when you have relationships truth, it is what it is. Like you can't
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really knock that until And I used to like be the mannerisms are churchy,
22:18
ye are real church but like I used to be like real judgmental. It's
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like everything gotta be Jesus everything. I tell the story all the time.
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Desertate with Coach said to my coach, coach, coach d she said,
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sell Jesus. And I'm like, why would you tell me that? Like,
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like Jesus wasn't good enough to give to anybody else. But I just
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like I wanted to do more. I wanted to look like this, but
22:44
me selling Jesus got me this, me selling Jesus. God. So sell
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Jesus and don't sell what though the world. Don't sell the world, sell
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Jesus. That's good, Okay, I get. I've often been told who
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you' so deep? But you that was so deep. I've had a guy
23:02
tell me, don't be deep today? Then what you want? That mean
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what you want? Like? Then tell me not to be, not to
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be it's not deep, it's just the truth. Yeah, that's my thoughts.
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So you're telling me not to be you don't. You don't honor who
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I am? Girl, You don't respect where I come from? Do you
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not embrace the what's in me? Don't be deep? Don't be deep?
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Don't be j Lisa? Because what am I? What am I? If
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I'm not there? Maybe I'm too deep for you, Maybe because I'm in
23:38
a third heaven and you here are and that that's not even required. I
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think it's just that because the truth hurts a lot, and we don't like
23:48
to hear. We don't like to be held accountable often because it hurts.
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You know, imagine you with somebody that you're liking, they holding you accountable
23:59
to what they heard you say you wanted to do just Jay Lisa, I'm
24:02
about to throw this mic at you. Don't throw it. We need it.
24:04
Wait, you gotta, you gotta slow down. You said, imagine
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people that you hold you accountable to something that you said that you wanted to
24:17
do. We got the auDA said to be mad at folks that help us
24:22
with our goal because it was me. It was me. I was uh.
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I used to cook in my head. I was cutting desbray out no
24:30
fun fat y'all. The Lord fun fact. The Lord, Yeah, gave
24:36
me three people probably it's been about two years now. The Lord gave me
24:41
three people that were my accountability. Oh and I had to reach out to
24:47
all three of them. I know we talked about it before where where they
24:51
allowed God to send you the accountability Because when it's accountable, that means the
24:56
other person has to hold you yep, right, and and we agree to
25:00
it. We agree to it, right. So I'm having to have a
25:03
conversation because you gotta be on the same plan field, Like we can't be
25:06
guessing what this relationship look like. You know what I'm saying. Correct.
25:10
So as I'm as I'm going through this process, I get these three names,
25:15
Desiree y'ard and know that that's who she is. And then Stacey is
25:21
another one, and then I got Jay. Jay's accountability for me looks different
25:29
than desiraate and Stacy like Jay's accountability for me. She come through. We
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were like, I'll be like, I can't do I might not can do
25:37
too many. It's overwhelming and I had to learn that. I was like,
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Okay, you come up all at heart. You come that for each
25:47
other. Though I can't respect iron iron listen, but you use use the
25:51
heavy iron girl. So she's not the accountability that I have to digest every
25:57
day. But he wants to quarter us. She's like a a fan.
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What's good? You know what I'm saying, like I see you or I
26:07
don't see you. What's going on? So it's like we have to understand
26:11
that. And so when you bring that accountability word up, that's a cuss
26:15
word for a lot of us because we're not ready to be seen. Girl,
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I'm really glad you're saying something. Tag team, there you go,
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so we are the light as believers? Is this for everybody? Is this
26:30
to show for everybody? Anybody and everybody? Okay, in order to even
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want to grow up. You gotta be okay with being seen. You have
26:41
to be okay because being seen is being truthful, right, yeah, if
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the truth makes you free, whatever has to be dug up, light has
26:53
to be shed on it. Being seen is like, hey, I gotta
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shine light on this no matter how bad it hurts. Being healed requires shedding
27:03
light on every single area of your life that needs to be touched by the
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healer, that needs surgery, that needs Okay, I gotta dig a little
27:14
bit deeper in this area. Okay, I need to just sit there.
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I need to just kind of hug this area right here. Or I need
27:19
to water this area. It's a little dusty, Yeah, it's it's a
27:23
little it's a few cobwebs in this place. I need to clean up everything.
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In order to be seen. Everything requires to be touched, and that
27:30
requires light. So if you keep it in the dark, you won't ever
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get better. That's so good, that's so good to share it with you.
27:38
No, that's that's good. You ain't just sharing it with me,
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share y'all. Did you hear very clear? It's a whole community right now.
27:45
Does a race said something to me one day and it blessed my socks
27:51
off. Y'all just don't understand. Please come on the couch, listen,
27:53
Come on, listen. There's a race so oily bro like we were saying.
27:59
We were talking. I was sharing my heart with her, and she
28:02
said, Jessica, you know, you know every part of your life is
28:07
not meant for you to tell everybody in my business now it's telling you to
28:12
be in my business. It's not meant for you. So everybody, every
28:18
person that even is your accountability partner, is not assigned to that area.
28:22
It's not a sign because they could manage something. And you lose credibility on
28:27
something that you were never assigned to. You shouldn't have released it. You
28:30
shouldn't. I should have released that to you because you didn't have the ability
28:34
to hold that part of me. That not the capacity you don't have that
28:40
you don't have that that muscle you maybe maybe you're not stronger good in this
28:45
area. You're good in this area, but you got maybe you ain't got
28:48
grace in this area but to manage, but this one you good. And
28:52
it's not because you won't get all of me. But you can't. If
28:56
I'm processing through something and and you ain't ever been through that. I need
29:00
somebody that can manage my my faults. Come on, somebody, I need
29:06
somebody that can really manage my faults, not necessarily to cover them up,
29:08
but to cover me and push me out of mind. I need somebody who's
29:12
free in that area. Listen, and so if you come, if you
29:15
only got a judgmental leans on the area, then I could damage the credibility
29:22
you have to hold me accountable in another area. Absolutely, and so listen.
29:26
Like so, when desil Ray had that conversation with me, it freed
29:30
me so much because I was like, I felt like, what's that?
29:33
What's that scripture? We go? He go? Here go here we go
29:34
with that scripture. It's a scripture basically talking about confessing yourself. Uh,
29:40
confession, confess your sins to one another. Yeah, or cash your cares
29:45
upon one another, or it's I think it's confess something up. But confess
29:52
your sins to one another. And that basically provides freedom. But that confession
29:56
also has an assignment to it. There's some every confession that I've experienced in
30:00
life, there was an assigned person that I was supposed to confess to because
30:07
they could hold not necessarily hold my secret, because it's not about holding a
30:11
secret. They have the grace and the anointing to cover that particular place,
30:19
that part A lot of people don't. They don't now I remember I heard
30:26
you the word judgmental popped up because for the first half of my life I
30:30
just always wanted to be perfect. I wanted to get everything right. But
30:34
that led to being judgy and self righteous unknowingly because sometimes things happen subtly you
30:41
didn't know. But now that you know, you gotta unclock that. You
30:45
have to unlearn that, you have to repent for that. I said all
30:52
that to say it was like, Okay, if you come with this certain
30:55
lens on you, you will miss the other side of it. If some
31:00
it comes to you with this or this particular place. You can't have a
31:03
certain lens on. You have to have the lens of love on at all
31:07
times. But if you are caught up in your own self and what your
31:10
struggle is, you will cut off something too quickly. You would cut off
31:15
like a person so quickly, so quickly that you're missing the area that you're
31:19
supposed to be like for this in their lives, and so the cut off
31:23
game has been really strong in what Everywhere. However, God calls us to
31:30
endure with specific people, specific people. So if you cut them off so
31:34
quickly without allowing God to walk you through those relationships and friendships that you're that
31:41
you that are supposed to like literally thrust you and them forward them heal something
31:48
in you too, Like why does God put you in something just to be
31:52
like, Okay, I'm gonna scripture. Listen, you hear me. The
31:57
alma bear is I'm a bear period, This says James five sixteen. I'm
32:02
right next to it and you hold it up. I was you hold it
32:07
up for the camera to see. Hey, listen, she said, I
32:10
forget her fault. I wasn't. I was in Hebrews eleven and one because
32:15
the word evidence is in there. It says now faith is the substance of
32:19
things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Now we go to
32:23
James what five sixteen sixteen, that's the next show. Okay, you want
32:28
to you want to read it? Woman? Ago are you in the King
32:30
James version? Okay, I'm gonna keep the King James, and we normally
32:35
nl T, but I love NLT though. Listen because the nl T we
32:37
cut. I love the word. So we're here, okay, So I'm
32:42
gonna give you King James. Since we're there, he says, Uh James
32:45
five sixteen says, confess your faults one to another, and pray want one
32:51
for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual, effectual, fervent
32:58
prayer of a righteous man obey with much. So I'm gonna give you.
33:00
I'm going to give you a new living translation because the inf and of outh.
33:05
I don't want to confuse anybody. It says, confess your sins to
33:07
each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. Very
33:13
clear, the earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produce its
33:20
wonderful results. So it matters who you confess to. This mic at you.
33:24
Why would I confess my stuff to somebody who don't pray, desert ray?
33:30
Why you me? I'm talking to me now? Why are you telling
33:34
now? I don't tell all my business on Facebook? WHI ch'all know,
33:36
I'm a I'm a I tweet on Facebook. That's what I do because I'm
33:39
a writer. But nevertheless, why would you release your stuff to somebody who
33:45
can't cover you, and you know they can't cover you. Why would I
33:50
give you information that you can't, that you can't work with? Why?
33:57
Why? Why are you going to somebody who don't even got no life?
34:00
Why are you going to somebody who ain't got no fruit? Why? Why?
34:07
Why am I giving my pearls to swine? Why am I pouring into
34:12
a coup they got to lid on? Why am I walking to a door
34:20
that's closed and locked? Nothing can carry me through? What are you doing?
34:28
Look at what you're not doing. You're not going to the right people.
34:32
Hello, anybody's still here? It's quiet, and this truth, I
34:37
feel like I feel like I just got choked out. I'm not sorry,
34:43
I feel like I just got choked out. Oh, get us together,
34:45
Lord, because it's both of us. List because it's like a real question
34:52
is do you want to be healed? We have to ask ourselves. That's
34:55
what Jesus ex that mean, why do you want to be well? Why?
35:01
And the thing is people, people don't really understand that story because when
35:06
okay, what which one? Which one? Is that the the man of
35:12
the Pools of bethelsta he did ask him, do you want to be healed?
35:17
In your right mind and our right mind. We would think, don't
35:22
he look like he's like he's sitting there at a pool that's supposed to heal
35:25
him. He's not getting there. Thirty eight years, thirty eight years with
35:30
excuses. Well, every time, every time they they pushed me out,
35:34
somebody make it child, child, find yourself a seat. So the Lord
35:38
really had to see if he was prepared for what he was asking for.
35:42
Yeah, he had to see if he was. He didn't ask him was
35:46
he ready to be physically for the physical healing? But watch this healing has
35:51
management that's required. There's a management that this is getting good. I feel,
35:57
I feel my help coming. I really do a healing. There's a
36:02
healing, But then there's management that has to happen in the process of healing
36:08
and even after be a heal because why would you why would you go pull
36:13
up a scale, why would you take the stitches out for the wound to
36:16
be open again? Why would you go through that process? And so now
36:21
I gotta manage the womb. I gotta make sure that I don't get cut
36:24
in the same area again and again and again. So now I need to
36:29
know if I'm mentally ready to manage what it's about to change. Wo.
36:32
I gotta be rentally prepared for the elevation of God to do something different and
36:38
manage that thing different because I can't do the same thing and have and expect
36:43
different results. I can't do that. Don't pray if you don't want a
36:47
process. With every prayer brings a process. That's all I hurt. I
36:58
mean, go ahead, no, don't you go here. This is but
37:02
that's that's conversation to be like. But that's what you were saying. That's
37:06
what I was. That's what you were saying. Yeah, I was like,
37:08
you just said, you cannot do anything. You can't do the same
37:12
thing and expect different results. You can't pray and expect to do the same
37:15
thing after you've prayed. You cannot say, God, look, you know,
37:20
leave me here, Lord, let me God do what you want to
37:22
do. Have your way. God. With every prayer that we pray,
37:27
it requires a process to even get to what we just prayed for. And
37:32
it requires it. And I believe surrenderance all of that. I believe that
37:37
God says, Okay, I've answered the prayers. Now my expectation is different
37:40
than you. You got to get there your obedience, Like, okay,
37:45
I've gotten you there. Now, what I've got, I've gotten you there
37:50
now. Everything you pray for is literally right in your face. But what
37:53
are you gonna do with it? Are you still believing that you didn't make
37:55
it here because it didn't come how you wanted to come. That's what I'm
38:00
talking to me now. Clearly, I love how you keep you. You
38:02
don said believe like fifty times today. And you got this big stickle or
38:08
it's the what you call it a pin, a pin? Uh huh?
38:13
You got this healthy vote for belief pin on your shoulder. Why because I
38:23
have. It's a reminder on what I should do daily. And I received
38:30
this pen maybe two years ago, and I found it in my teacher stuff.
38:35
It was at a it was at a professional development the teachers, the
38:38
teachers who were teaching teachers gave out, gave all of us believe pins.
38:42
And I found it during the time where I needed to remember, this is
38:46
all that you have to do. Oh, this is all that's required.
38:51
This is all of what's required. We make the requirements so difficult from A
38:57
to Z. It's crazy. I can't do twenty six, but I can
39:00
do one who Jay Lisa. Jay Lisa, you're talking real good Lord,
39:10
So let me ask you this and you can tell me no if you don't
39:15
want to answer the question. But you're me on camera, so I'm here
39:17
for it. What I come for if I didn't want to talk? What?
39:21
What? What is Jay Lisa a little believing in in this season?
39:24
What are you believing for in this season? Hm? Hmm. I am
39:36
believing God for I have hope in I'm believing God for the salvation of my
39:47
family. I'll start there. That's one of my most recent prayers. And
39:53
I am believing God for healthy and sustained relationships across the board. That's it.
40:13
God gives everything else like I have everything. Like that's it. What
40:17
are you have You ever been scared to believe in something? Absolutely? I
40:24
just I just found a new hope in the in my area of relationships recently
40:30
because I didn't have hope for it. Mm hm. You won't go deeper.
40:36
Since we're here, we're here. He got a poll. I'm just
40:38
I'm gonna just give so and my kids could tell you this because my kids
40:45
will always But Millana, you got motion, Milani, you got motion?
40:49
What motion is? Are you dating, you got you got kids and only
40:58
kid y'all make some some to rest. It is what it is. Oh
41:01
and then they say, like, if you're dating somebody, they'll you'll call
41:05
them, oh that's my little yeah, my little yeah. I said,
41:07
you can't just say that show your friend. You can't just say that's your
41:12
friend, your boyfriend, girlfriend. But you gotta say your little yeah,
41:14
my little yeah. Okay, at least it said yes attached to it.
41:16
But we'll stick there. They don't want to go that deep yet, they
41:20
don't know that, but I'll be pulling for them, like anyway. So
41:24
for the last ten years of my life. So the last ten years of
41:28
my life, I just thought that I was gonna be with this one man.
41:37
And we met when I was eighteen, and I remember praying to God
41:45
heal me from audis because I know, I know the devil is a liar
41:52
and for me to stay in a in a certain space where nothing came from
41:58
it but I but in my in my heart, I believe that all of
42:00
us have a level of loyalty to a certain extent where will you can't shake
42:05
it because if you, like I said, I'm gonna just stay right here
42:09
because I don't have any hope for later. Uh huh. Put a pen
42:14
on it. But when I asked God to heal me the year last year,
42:22
twenty twenty three, God took me down the entire That's where the third
42:25
book came from. Okay, the story where the Jesus met the woman at
42:30
the well, the Samaritan woman. He says, get fixing something to drink.
42:36
Yeah, and she was just saying, J's don't talk to Samaritans.
42:39
He was like, well, if you know who he was talking to,
42:43
you wouldn't have to get anything. And so, long story short, he
42:45
says, go and get your husband. She said, I don't have one.
42:47
He said, you're right. You got five of them, and the
42:50
one you went ain't him either. And she, you know, she was
42:53
just whatever. That hit me to a level of extent where God says,
42:57
okay, now you list all the six men in your own life, list
43:01
the five and the one, the list of men that you've mentally married.
43:07
Although I did not physically give my body to them, mentally I was.
43:09
I had already been there with them, because that was that was a level
43:13
of expectation that I wanted with them, whether they chose me or not.
43:17
List the five men and the one, the current one that you've been with,
43:21
so that if this is where you're desiring to be be healed, be
43:27
healed by telling the truth. You've been married, not legally, you've been
43:34
married in your mind away from me, you've been married. So let's just
43:37
let's just divorce all of them. Since is it polygamy, what is it?
43:44
Let's list them? So I said, okay, So I listed on
43:51
every man that was on that list. God allowed a conversation to take place
43:55
with them in the year of twenty twenty three, from top to bottom,
44:02
and every one of them diminished like butter. The last conversation I had was
44:07
with my very first love. On the last day of the year, I
44:15
was at a church service and I received a phone call from the man that
44:17
I wanted to live my whole entire life with. I was like, Lord,
44:21
let him get his lick together so he can come to scoop me from
44:22
Montgomery and I could just move away, please Jesus. It wasn't like that.
44:29
Two years ago. I realized, Hey, he didn't choose you,
44:32
Hey, snap out of it. He didn't choose you. Come on,
44:36
girl, he didn't choose you. So now I need you to pick up
44:39
the pieces and go. And so where this was my you know, the
44:43
person that I caught my best friend because I wanted to keep us connected,
44:45
like, hey, we're gonna we still gonna do life together. Even though
44:49
we're doing whatever we want to do with whoever were with, let's still do
44:52
life together. We had like a little eighth an eight month period away from
44:57
each other and that we didn't know why, but that really showed me how
45:02
to kind of like get up and go because I can't wonder. I can't
45:07
the person who's for me, my husband, who's for me, or whoever
45:10
is for me. I can't wonder if I'm gonna speak to them again,
45:15
or I can't wonder if they're going to ignore me, or I can't when
45:20
somebody, when something belongs to you or someone is for you, you don't
45:23
have to wonder at all because we serve a God of clarity. God is
45:30
not an author of confusion. So sometimes we sit in confusion based on what
45:36
we want, based on what we plan for ourselves. But the Bible says
45:40
that God he knows the plan for the plans for us, plans to prosper
45:45
us and not to harm us plan to give us a hope in the future.
45:47
We're harming ourselves by sticking to whatever plan that we created. Anyway,
45:52
long story short, because Lord twenty twenty three unfolded every I literally there was
45:59
an another man that I had just grew up with, like in college.
46:04
He came to me. The Holy Spirit told me to say something to him,
46:07
like speak because we're in the same place, and I was like,
46:08
no, I'm not speaking, But that was to keep me from the healing
46:12
that I needed. That man after I said, hey, Jay, Lisa,
46:15
Hey, I need to talk to you. We went through a lot
46:19
when we met, and I've grown up for a while. I've grown up,
46:23
I've reflected, and I had to come back to tell you that I'm
46:27
sorry for everything that happened. I thought we already squashed it. But every
46:34
God cleared. He cleared the entire slate of those men that I listed,
46:38
the five in the in the in the possible. Yeah, he cleaned the
46:44
entire slate and the one that the one that held the root of it,
46:47
the one that held the root of it, of everything, because in all
46:52
I just wanted my father, biological father didn't have that. So this is
46:57
where I decided to responding reacting. So yeah, Thesember thirty first was when
47:06
I had the conversation of the root of the where it first began. That
47:15
was a lot, man, Hold up because you kind of like open something
47:20
for me. That's good. I pray that my story can you know,
47:25
like you the whole idea of mental divorce, the whole idea of mental divorce,
47:38
and not even mental divorce, but divorcing from the heart. We think
47:44
about divorce is just like or marriage. Physical separation is not just that,
47:50
it's literally. So I'm about to be transparent because I'm trying to work on
47:57
this. If I could be transparent the words of Jessica, you always tell
48:01
me with it, if I could be transparent, we'll have to share that
48:04
video. I I think, I'm well, I know I'm going through a
48:16
divorce right now. Awareness I know I'm going through and the person that I'm
48:24
divorced and we don't you know, it's not romantic or anything. It's a
48:28
friend. It's a friend. And I've tried to ignore the feeling of the
48:38
divorce. Who hold up, girl, I've tried to ignore the feeling of
48:46
the divorce because I try to dilute, how painful it is. And because
48:55
watch this, when you've lived in rejection so long, you cling to that
49:04
option. And rejection doesn't have to always look like so angry. Rejection can
49:09
be avoidance. And I've avoided these feelings. I wanna be transparent and I
49:22
don't know what I'm heard. Man, we know why it's Saturday. Get
49:30
on my nerves, man, I only do this with my friends. So
49:43
the opportunity with Tabitha Brown was an amazing opportunity, Like an amazing opportunity.
49:53
It was absolutely for you. It was absolutely for you. Listen, very
50:00
purposeful. I said it like you had halfones on and the other side of
50:07
the highlight, Like it really highlighted those who were for me, like for
50:15
real, for real, and who were done with me, like and this
50:22
particular person they don't even know this is them, m hm. How like
50:30
it comes put a stamp of approval on that it was. It is finished,
50:38
and it's the word of the Lord, damn approval. It's finished.
50:43
And I don't necessarily have beef with this person. I don't necessarily think this
50:45
person has beef with me intentional. It's not that I still love them absolutely,
50:52
but it got buried. Yeah, at the lack of of the whole
51:00
celebratory situation. I think, not saying, oh, everybody's supposed to celebrate
51:04
with me, but it's certain people that I was like, oh, you
51:08
expected a return of your investment, because when it was time to be loud
51:12
to celebrate you, you couldn't shut me up. You couldn't ship me up.
51:17
And so that's not the reason why the divorce happened. I got you.
51:22
I understand that. However, it confirmed that the papers had been signed
51:28
on their and their PP had nothing to do with you, because when I
51:32
can't what you mean, it's a personal problem. Okay, I was gonna
51:37
share. I was gonna share. I kind of went, you kind of
51:39
went Montgomery slang on me, girl, girl, girl, Please Anyway,
51:49
I cannot be concerned about who chooses to celebrate or not because whatever issue they
51:55
have with me has nothing to do with me. That part everything. Everything
52:04
that people choose to do or choose not to do, it's all because of
52:07
what they have inside of their heart towards whatever perspective they have, and if
52:10
they have not shared that perspective or we have not discussed it, whether you
52:16
choose to support me or not. I'm going whether I've done or whatever I
52:21
have not done for you, that's what you decided. But now I know
52:25
that I don't have to put any level of expectation on you because I'll continue
52:30
to be disappointed. And so it was just like I got to free my
52:34
heart up. I got a free my heart up because God's validation is it
52:38
listen, and he clearly, he clearly made it clear concerning what's for you.
52:47
Yeah, whether somebody want to say congratulations or not, whether you give
52:52
me a congratulations already, because you're marked all right on that note, on
53:00
that note, because we can, we can go on. And I've been
53:04
thinking about rejection a lot lately as well, because that's that's what the enemy
53:07
likes to use to make us not move forward in our purpose. Come on,
53:14
and when rejection comes, and God's plan is perfect for us to prosper
53:22
us and not to harm us, all of that rejection it hurts, but
53:25
we're not harmed. When it happens, it takes place, but we don't
53:30
lose anything. The rejection, it'll it'll, it'll happen, but we still
53:38
lack nothing. We lack And knowing that it's so i was like, ah,
53:43
okay, that hurts a little bit, but dang, you're not going
53:49
with me now right right. I don't have to carry that in or you.
53:53
I don't have the I don't have to secure space for the expectation because
54:00
we do that because of the hearts that we were created with. We make
54:06
space. We make space for people who be out of place, people that
54:14
I have to realize who I have, who I'm in covenant with. Now,
54:16
come on, somebody, because if God is a covenant keeping God,
54:22
why would he have you with covenant keeping people? Right? The math on
54:27
math on it and you don't you do math? Yes, I'm a mathematician
54:31
two plus to his foe, not five. Yeah, Jay Lisa, I
54:37
really appreciate you. I really appreciate this conversation. This is not the because
54:42
we're far from done. We're far from doing you guys. You got a
54:45
project coming out soon, yes, in prayer. Yes, yeah, we're
54:50
currently working on an album. I can share that a whole album. We're
54:54
working on an album. Can I share this? Share what you want.
54:59
When I I finished recording my my first song, moved me. When I
55:04
finished literally laying the tracks the lead vocals for that, that that same day,
55:08
my uncle passed. I got a call from my mom and she was
55:12
like, hey, I knew something happened, but she was like, do
55:16
you want me to do? Would you like for me to share? I
55:19
was just like, no, I wait, let me finish the song.
55:22
And then that same day I went to my family's house and my uncle was
55:29
gone. I couldn't see him, and I believe that God allowed me to.
55:36
I didn't. You know, I haven't released I have not done any
55:37
music since then, maybe because of that, right, but I knew that
55:45
some things had to be dug up, which is why how the books came
55:47
out. Therapy needed to take place, to steal away needed to happen so
55:55
that I can remember why He puts the things inside of me. So now
56:00
it is finished, it is, it is finished. And so because all
56:04
of that is finished, because it is finished, and that's what the word
56:07
is, I don't have to be fearful in whatever we're doing. Now that's
56:10
so good, so good every song that in my heart I know that victory,
56:15
victory has a sound. And so if I have not been writing and
56:21
singing within the last three years, that's that It reminds me that, hey,
56:25
you were going through something, but now you're free and it is finished.
56:31
Sound the alarm come on so that others can get what they need and
56:36
they will sound the alarm as well. Sound the alarm victory has a sound.
56:43
You just you will hear it before you see it. On that note.
56:50
Normally I ask if they if you have a last thought, but that's
56:54
it, that's it, that's it. Sound the alarm victory has a sound.
57:04
This is so good. Jay Lison, Jay, Jessica, jess I
57:07
love you. I love you too. I know I love you like I
57:12
love you as well. No love, I'm your l u h h.
57:16
I love you. Good y'all, thank you so much for tuning in.
57:21
Jay, thank you so much. We are going to make sure we tag
57:23
her in this this YouTube or whatever platform on platforms, platforms like with an
57:30
s Okay, we're super excited for what God is doing on this platform.
57:35
Super excited for what God is doing with you. Jay. Thank you so
57:37
much for coming in, tuning in, and thank you guys for listening.
57:42
Remember, life could be much more simple if you just ask. We'll see
57:46
you next week. Hey, y'all, thank you for listening to just ask.
57:54
If you enjoyed this experience, be sure to like coming and read so
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others can find the show. If you'd like to stay connected with me,
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feel free to follow me at the Jessica Smith on all platforms. Again,
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I'm your girl, jess Until next time,