Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / 5 Different Ways That Narcissists Control You

Transcript

5 Different Ways That Narcissists Control You · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
• 0:02
  Today we're going to be talking about the techniques, the
• 0:05
  tactics a narcissist could use to try to control their victims
• 0:09
  and the people in their lives. If you're new here, my name is
• 0:13
  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
• 0:15
  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
• 0:35
  Boom, welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back.
• 0:37
  Y'all saw that I had AI, got the aware shirt on.
• 0:39
  I got my the self love brand. I'm aware everything is at
• 0:42
  mentalillness.net, shop.mentalillness.net for the
• 0:45
  self self, self love brand and whatnot.
• 0:49
  But yeah, y'all, the different tactics a narcissistic person
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  could use to try to control their victims, their targets and
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  whatnot. This is a video like that.
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  A lot of people are going to are going to vibe with this video
• 1:01
  and understand the perspective that I'm coming from in this
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  video because every, I, I typically don't try to speak in
• 1:08
  absolutes, right? I don't try to say that every
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  single narcissist is the same in any, any type of way.
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  But I feel like the goal for most narcissist is to somehow,
• 1:19
  some way, shape or form, try to get some type of control over
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  the people in their lives, trying to control every single
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  situation in their lives that they could possibly get control
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  over, right. So that's one of the things I, I
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  feel like so many people have experienced.
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  We are dealing with a narcissistic person, toxic
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  person or an abusive person, right?
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  This is what this is what happens.
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  Like they're trying to find a way to control you.
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  Like. And so they use these different
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  tactics to try to control you. One of the tactics is going to
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  be money. Yeah, financial abuse is
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  absolutely runs rampant in toxic, narcissistic
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  relationships. Now, not every single person is
• 2:00
  the going to get financially abused.
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  That's just not going to happen, right?
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  Not every person is going to get financial abuse, but a lot of
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  people in toxic relationships are.
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  They're going to try to use the money to control you.
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  Now, if they make the money, they can control you that way.
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  But even if they don't make the money, they can financially
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  abuse you because they can just spend it all, right?
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  They can put you in, they can put you in a lot of debt.
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  They can do a lot of different things in order to try, like
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  they can do a lot of different things in order to try to get
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  you right. This is what happens.
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  This is so many times, this is what happens, y'all that
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  narcissistic people, toxic people do this type of stuff.
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  This is the mindset, this is the mentality.
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  Like they absolutely will try to control the money because it's a
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  power trip. I won't control so bad.
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  So I the one way I can control you is money.
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  I can control you through money by withholding it or by spending
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  it at all, not allowing you access.
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  I cannot. I cannot allow you access to the
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  finances in an effort to control you, to manipulate you, to abuse
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  you financially. Or I could spend all the money,
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  make you feel like a damn broke ass bum, and just put us all in
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  complete debt and ruin our lives.
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  I can do that too. That's also financial abuse.
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  Like you don't have to be totally, totally in control of
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  the money or make the money to be financially abusive, right?
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  And there's so many people that they, they, they try to put you
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  in debt and they try to put everything so many, so many
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  times. Like you get narcissistic people
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  that use money to try to control their victims, right?
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  They try to like put you. They they try to like they
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  either try to put everything in their own name, like your
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  husband or your wife might try to put everything in their own
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  names and they might not marry you.
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  So you have no access to it. Like you have no rights if you
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  get kicked out like even though we've been together for 5/10/15
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  twenty years, we had kids and stuff like that.
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  I can kick you the hell out because we're not married and
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  your name is not is not on is not on anything that's financial
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  abuse. You know what I'm saying?
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  I know a lot of people, the red pillars and a lot of different
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  people, just like marriage is not beneficial to anybody.
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  Y'all marriage has its ups and downs, right?
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  It absolutely does. It has its IT has its costs and
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  its benefits and that's going to be different for everybody, but
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  financial abuse can happen a lot of times in relationships like
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  that. I'm not with marriage is not our
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  thing. This is the thing about marriage
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  y'all. I'll just this is kind of a
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  sidebar. If you're married for 20 years
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  to your partner to you can be married.
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  You can be married to your partner for 40 years.
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  Everything is in their name. Nothing is in yours.
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  Y'all are not married. Y'all just together, they pass
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  away. You have like everything in
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  their name. You have no rights over their
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  kids can come take everything from you.
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  Like even they could be your kids too, but they they have
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  they have access over over everything.
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  The next of kin is not you. You're not married.
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  You something That's that's the the benefit.
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  That's one of the things right there.
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  That's all this always goes in my mind right there.
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  But that's the the space that so many people fall into.
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  Yeah, financial abuse is absolutely one of the the worst
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  things that people can do. Another thing y'all can do,
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  narcissists control you is food abuse.
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  I know a lot of people don't think about this, but Feud feud,
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  food abuse. Now my wife's seen that picture
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  of my daughter. Y'all she's she's like she's
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  roller skating. She has some roller blades for
• 5:08
  Christmas. I know y'all can see that.
• 5:09
  She's got a little helmet on and a little skates and stuff.
• 5:11
  Y'all see that sidebar? Look at my little Splunk.
• 5:14
  That's a little, that's a nickname.
• 5:15
  Y'all color my little splunker. She's getting so big.
• 5:18
  Y'all watching her grow up and y'all watching y'all be When she
• 5:20
  was born, she was first born. I started on my YouTube channel
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  so it was like she was like one month old when I started posting
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  it on YouTube. So y'all got to see her.
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  She's almost 4 now. It's crazy.
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  It's insane. But yeah, food abuse is real
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  too. They can try to control you
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  through food. Like and I know a lot of times
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  this happens with the parents, right?
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  The parents of narcissist. Your, your parent is a
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  narcissist. They food abuse you.
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  They withhold food from you. They control the food to make
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  you feel like you're getting too big or too skinny, whatever the
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  situation may be. They abuse you and control you
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  through food. They try to not to allow you
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  access to certain things, certain food and whatnot.
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  They do this type of stuff right here.
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  Y'all they food abuse is real. Food control is real.
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  They absolutely will try to get into your mind and limit you or
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  use you and abuse you and whatnot.
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  In a lot of these, you know, relationship dynamics, they will
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  absolutely try to do this. So this is one thing that you
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  have to consider as well is because they will use food to
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  try to control you and that's not everybody going to have that
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  experience right there. There's so many people who don't
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  have the food abuse experience, the food abuse.
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  They don't have the food abuse thing, Like you don't get abused
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  through food. But this could also be your
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  partner. Your partner could abuse you
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  through food as well by making you feel like you're too big or
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  too skinny or whatever the case may be, make you feel like you
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  you can't do anything right. They treat you horribly.
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  They make you feel like you you eating too much or drinking too
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  much, whatever the case may be. They make you feel like you're
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  doing too much, you're too much of everything.
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  You're doing too much of it. All right.
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  They try to get you like that. So food abuse is absolutely
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  real. Yeah, another way they try to
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  control you all is through intimacy, not just clapping up
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  the cheeks. I know people are just like,
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  well lady, you all right? Talk about clapping cheeks and
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  sleeping together. Intimacy is not just in the
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  bedroom, y'all? Intimacy can be a hug, intimacy
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  can be a kiss. They can withhold intimacy if
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  your intimacy from you right Withhold the intimacy is a form
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  of control. They they withhold it from you
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  like you like y'all. Y'all understand how how good a
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  hug feels when you haven't had a hug in six months?
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  You mean how how good it feels to hear your partner, your your
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  your parent or whoever tell you that they love you when they
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  haven't said it in 6th when they haven't said it in a year?
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  Like they withhold that type of stuff because they know it means
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  more when they do it. They know it means more when you
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  do it less. It means a lot more when you do
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  it less and whatnot. That's what happens to so many
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  people. That really is the space that so
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  many people fall into. Like they know they understand
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  that they're financially abusing you and using you and doing
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  stuff like that. They understand that they're
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  using full control, but they also understand that they
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  withhold their intimacy. I know how much power it gives a
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  narcissist to tell you, no, I know this.
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  I know this sounds ass backwards, but it gives a lot of
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  abusive, manipulative people. It gives them a lot of power to
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  look you in your eyes until you know when you try to sleep with
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  them, until you know when you you ask for a hug, when you ask
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  for a kiss or it's just it just completely ignore you.
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  It empowers them. They love having that control
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  over you, right. So withholding intimacy is a
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  form of control, but also on the other side of it.
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  I know people can say, well, they never withheld it for me.
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  They demanded it because that's also a form of control as well.
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  Y'all, They absolutely will try to demand it from you at all
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  times like you tell you. Can you get these smex addicts
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  as partners? Yes.
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  They they demand it seven times a day.
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  I don't know how y'all do that. The lady seven times a day.
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  My legs was wobbling, I'm tired, I don't want to do it all the
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  time. They demand it from you.
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  They control your body and stuff like that by demanding it from
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  you. They do that type of stuff.
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  They will absolutely demand it from you and just make it make
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  you feel bad If you don't give it to them and they crazy the
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  mother is and it's going to sound bad, It's going to sound
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  crazy, it's going to sound ass backwards.
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  You can just have just as high as drive high as drive as they
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  do right? You can have the exact same
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  mindset mentality like we going to do it all the time and
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  they'll still go out there and cheat on you like you like how
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  the hell did they find time to cheat?
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  We do it seven times a day and they still they still found time
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  to cheat because you can do all that type of stuff y'all.
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  They can still go out here and cheat on you.
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  So like they can kind of control you by demanding it from you as
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  well, by withholding intimacy and demanding intimacy is a form
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  of narcissistic control, You know, And another thing they
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  they will try to control is y'all your time time control.
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  It's absolutely true. Y'all see me writing stuff down.
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  I'm trying to see how many ways I'm going.
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  All right, y'all know, I just, I'm going to start getting
• 9:47
  scripts and stuff like that for my videos.
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  I got, I got a teleprompter and everything.
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  Now I'm about to set up, but y'all know, it just comes on top
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  of my head. I get an idea.
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  I just roll with it, right? I'll be talking and I'll think
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  of another way. I'll be like, oh, well, I was
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  just saying a few minutes ago, like they control your body,
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  your body, your family, your family is your body.
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  So I'll be like, they try to control your time as well.
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  I see my, I saw my watch. They try to control your time.
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  This is what they try to do. They try to get into your mind
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  and control your time, your effort, your energy every single
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  day. They do it just like that right
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  there, y'all. They will absolutely do this.
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  So they will try to control your time, especially in the
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  beginning of a relationship. They absolutely will just run
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  over top of you. They try to control your time.
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  They're always on the phone with you.
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  You got a Bluetooth in all day while you're at work.
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  It seems sweet, but it's controlling.
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  Even when you're in a relationship with them, they're
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  always trying to be on the phone with you.
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  They always got to know your whereabouts.
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  They always trying to you got. You can't be one minute late or
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  they just down your damn throw at you.
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  Like what the hell? One minute I was 37 seconds
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  late. Like what the hell type of stuff
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  is this right here? You know, what the hell is this?
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  It is this this mentality? What the hell is going on right
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  here? Like they will absolutely try to
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  control your time. Y'all time is very, very
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  important. You know, you always seen the
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  movie, you always seen the movie Fallen with Denzel Washington
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  when he kept singing that song. Time is on my side.
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  It's a beautiful, it's a very well done movie.
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  It's a crazy movie. It's called Fallen with Denzel
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  Washington in it. It's an amazing movie, but they
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  will try to control your time. Y'all the next thing.
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  This might be the last thing unless I can think of something
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  else. So this is five.
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  They try to control your relationships.
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  Now, if I miss one, y'all ask some stuff into the comment
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  section. Y'all know how I read the
• 11:22
  comments, Ask some stuff that I might have missed, how they
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  control you in the comment section.
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  And I'll do a Part 2. I can do a Part 2.
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  How do I have to control you? Because that way I can do a Part
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  2 of it. And then y'all other people can
• 11:33
  see the video, other people can see the addition to and they can
• 11:35
  vibe with that as well. So yeah, just if I miss some
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  stuff, add in the comment section and I'll be more than
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  willing to just do another. Do a Part 2 of this as well,
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  y'all? Most of my ideas come from the
• 11:44
  comment sections. I'm reading the comments.
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  I know people said like, you should read the comments.
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  You're going to hurt your feelings.
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  Yo, I made a damn nearer career out of reading comments and
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  replying to it. That's, that's what all I do
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  really much. But they will absolutely try to
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  control your relationships, your friendships, your relationships
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  with your family, your relationships at work.
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  They try to control your relationships every single place
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  in your life. This is what it's all about.
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  They want to control everything in your life, the relationship
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  with your kids. Like if y'all or even if y'all
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  together or separated, they try to control your relationship
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  with the kids. They're hyper focused on your
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  relationship with the kids, how things are going with you and
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  the kids. Absolutely.
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  Especially if y'all Co parenting, they're absolutely
• 12:24
  going to turn. A lot of them will try to turn
• 12:27
  the kids against you. Not everybody going to be the
• 12:28
  same way, y'all, but a lot of nurses will absolutely try to
• 12:31
  turn your children against you. They just will.
• 12:34
  You see, a lot of them will absolutely try to manipulate
• 12:38
  you, try to turn your kids against you and try to do so
• 12:41
  many different things and to mess with your damn heads.
• 12:44
  They absolutely will. This is how it goes.
• 12:47
  Like they would try to you, they try to control your relationship
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  with your kids. They try to control your
• 12:50
  relationship with your family, especially if they don't like
• 12:54
  your family, they don't want you going over there.
• 12:56
  Yeah, Christmas just passed. How did that go for you?
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  How did Christmas go? If your narcissistic partner
• 13:01
  didn't like your parents, didn't like your friends, didn't like
• 13:03
  your family, how did they go for you?
• 13:05
  You see? Then they try to control that.
• 13:06
  They try to control your relationship with their family.
• 13:10
  How did they go? If they don't think you like
• 13:12
  their family, How did they go for you?
• 13:14
  You see, how did Christmas go? How's New Year's going to go?
• 13:16
  How's your birthday? How's how these events going to
• 13:18
  go with the fact that they don't like your family either?
• 13:21
  You see, there's so many move in pieces, there's so many wheels
• 13:23
  turning in these in these relationships.
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  So this is something you have to think about as well.
• 13:28
  How are these things going to go?
• 13:30
  How are they going to move forward?
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  What comes next, right? These are things that you need
• 13:35
  to consider as well. This is the this is the mental,
• 13:37
  the mental part of it, like they're going to try to control
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  your relationship with your parents, your own parents, your
• 13:43
  own siblings, your own friends. What how do you how are your
• 13:46
  relationship with your friends, Y'all, if the narcissist doesn't
• 13:48
  like your friends or do they do? Do they like your friends?
• 13:51
  How's your relationship with your friends right now?
• 13:53
  Is it strong? Is it going well or is the
• 13:55
  narcissistic person interfering in those relationships?
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  This is how they try to control you.
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  This is part of it right here, y'all.
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  This is absolutely a big part of it.
• 14:03
  This is absolutely a big piece of it.
• 14:04
  They try to control you, but you're they try to control your
• 14:06
  relationship with your friends and families.
• 14:07
  How you relationship with your coworkers, right.
• 14:09
  I don't want you to work with anybody that's a man.
• 14:11
  I don't, I don't like you working with women.
• 14:13
  I don't like you. I don't even like you going to
• 14:14
  the gym where there's other women and other men that I don't
• 14:17
  like that they try to control your space, your time, your
• 14:19
  body, your effort, your energy, every single thing.
• 14:21
  If I miss something, I'll leave it in the comment section.
• 14:23
  Please. I'm.
• 14:23
  Look, I'm a human being. I'm a human being.
• 14:27
  I'm not a narcissistic robot. I'm a human.
• 14:30
  Look, this is humanoid. I got tonsils.
• 14:34
  Add teeth. Well, the teeth can be faked.
• 14:37
  So that's you. You.
• 14:38
  You just made your case to be a robot anyway.
• 14:44
  Anyways y'all I appreciate y'all tuning in.
• 14:47
  I hope y'all got. I hope y'all gained some
• 14:49
  knowledge from this video. I hope it help wake you up in
• 14:52
  certain instances. Again, if you haven't already,
• 14:54
  hit the subscribe button mental healthness.net for everything
• 14:58
  y'all. 2 videos a day from this time.
• 14:59
  For this point forward, just interact with the videos.
• 15:02
  If y'all appreciate it and maybe y'all can.
• 15:04
  I'm super thankful for you and as always mental illnesses out.
• 15:06
  Peace what's going on beautiful folks.
• 15:09
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video I truly
• 15:11
  appreciate it. You have no idea.
• 15:13
  If you haven't already hit that subscribe button.
• 15:15
  You made it this far you might as well subscribe.
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  It really does help the channel y'all helps me reach more people
• 15:21
  as well. Also I have coaching my courses
• 15:24
  and my support group available at www.mentalillness.net.
• 15:28
  Thank you so much. Make sure you stick around watch
• 15:30
  another video or two. I appreciate it.
• 15:32
  I'm out.