Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 89 | 3 Mindful Practices to Implement with Your Money
Transcript
- 0:00Erin Gray: If money feels like a constant source of stress or something that you avoid thinking about, it might be time to shift your approach.
- 0:07Erin Gray: Mindfulness is about bringing awareness, and it can completely transform the way that you interact with your finances.
- 0:13Erin Gray: In today's episode, I'm going to share three simple and powerful mindful money practices that will help you feel more present, intentional and in control of your finances.
- 0:25Erin Gray: Do you want to create a system to stop avoiding your money?
- 0:27Erin Gray: Maybe you're feeling guilt and shame when it comes to finances.
- 0:31Erin Gray: Welcome to your Money, your Rules.
- 0:33Erin Gray: I'm Erin, a former certified financial planner and CFO, and yet I used to avoid my money and had fear, no matter how much we had.
- 0:41Erin Gray: I can't wait to teach you how I overcame my money avoidance and started consistently managing my finances in a really simple way.
- 0:49Erin Gray: It's time to get comfortable with money Before we get started.
- 0:53Erin Gray: If you're ready to go deeper into transforming your relationship with money, to stop avoiding it, to start managing it and really create a financial plan that actually feels aligned for you and your family, with your values, let's work together one-on-one.
- 1:09Erin Gray: You can schedule a call with me at generatealifewelllivedcom.
- 1:14Erin Gray: Click on the link work with me and then support and mentoring.
- 1:17Erin Gray: Schedule a call and we can make money work for you versus feeling like it's working against you.
- 1:23Erin Gray: Money work for you versus feeling like it's working against you.
- 1:27Erin Gray: Okay, so let's talk about, I think, three mindful money practices that we can get in the habit and build up that skillset more.
- 1:32Erin Gray: The first, I think, is really practicing consciously spending or I say, circulating our money.
- 1:40Erin Gray: So many people spend reactively this was me in the past.
- 1:46Erin Gray: You know, basing our decisions on emotions or habits, like the body loves to serve up the same emotions because it is a familiar feeling in the body, but it doesn't mean it's the correct or the best thing for us.
- 2:02Erin Gray: And so when we're used to making decisions on a high or a low, right spending our money on a high or a low, we're spending our money based on habits that we're just used to, without actually asking ourselves do we want to use our money for this, versus actually having intention with our money.
- 2:25Erin Gray: So reflect on how you are spending and also investing your money in alignment with your goals.
- 2:32Erin Gray: You know, 20 years ago, when I started out and I was learning about financial planning and I was helping clients, you know, part of my strategy for myself was investing in the stock market, but the more that I've dove into the way that the stock market works and who actually controls the stock market and all of this stuff, it doesn't feel aligned for me anymore to be in the stock market.
- 2:58Erin Gray: So I've had, you know, me and my husband, over the last year isish, you know, really starting to look at how do we want to invest our money, how do we want our money to grow in alignment with our values.
- 3:10Erin Gray: Right, one of them has been investing in ourselves, right In our, in my business, in my brain, like that, I think, is the most important investment we will ever make because we have total control over that.
- 3:24Erin Gray: Right, there's not some guy or some woman sitting in a boardroom making decisions on the company that you're investing in.
- 3:33Erin Gray: Right, you're if obviously most of you are listening, are, you know, own your own business.
- 3:38Erin Gray: So you get to decide.
- 3:40Erin Gray: You know how much you want to work, how much you want to grow, how much you, how much value that you want to add to the world.
- 3:49Erin Gray: And I think investing in our brain, in our emotional wellbeing, is one of the biggest returns we will ever make, way more than the stock market.
- 3:59Erin Gray: So start with just the awareness of when, noticing patterns.
- 4:05Erin Gray: When am I spending reactively?
- 4:07Erin Gray: Have I been restricting, restricting, restricting?
- 4:10Erin Gray: And then now I'm like, ah, I'm just ready to like, do something fun.
- 4:13Erin Gray: I used to have that whipsaw effect versus every time you take out your credit card or you're using cash.
- 4:22Erin Gray: Take out your credit card or you're using cash.
- 4:30Erin Gray: Is this in alignment with my goals and what I want to create in the world?
- 4:32Erin Gray: So, having that mindset shift right Before making a purchase, before you whip out your credit card or your cash, asking yourself does this align with my values and my priorities?
- 4:43Erin Gray: How will I feel about this decision a week from now?
- 4:49Erin Gray: You know, if you're thinking about acting from your future self, would my future self be making this decision?
- 4:59Erin Gray: Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes the answer is no, and the only way that we can get really clear on this is if we slow down and we start asking ourselves these questions.
- 5:09Erin Gray: You know, am I spending?
- 5:11Erin Gray: This is a big one for me and a lot of my clients has been.
- 5:15Erin Gray: Am I spending from a place of scarcity, of hoarding, or from true, genuine joy and expansion?
- 5:26Erin Gray: And I think and I've talked about this on previous episodes I really think we need to slow down the buying process, slowing it down in our business, slowing it down in our personal lives.
- 5:37Erin Gray: You know one of the boundaries that I've put on myself with my kid when she asks for something, the answer is always I'm going to give myself some time to think about that.
- 5:46Erin Gray: I don't ever answer her very rarely.
- 5:48Erin Gray: Do I answer her now with yes or no?
- 5:50Erin Gray: Because I want to give myself the time to feel into that decision depending on how much it is and things of that sort Right, but I want to give myself some time to really feel in that decision.
- 6:02Erin Gray: So if we're just making impulsive decisions and purchases and or investments right, like this happens a lot in our business I think we can sometimes feel like we're throwing spaghetti at the wall versus really being intentional.
- 6:17Erin Gray: Like I think there's so many in the online business world right now.
- 6:20Erin Gray: There's so many courses you can take and teachers and and really slowing down that buying process and getting clear like does this align, whether it's business or personal?
- 6:32Erin Gray: Does this align with my values and priorities?
- 6:35Erin Gray: Is that going to take me closer to where I'm going or further away?
- 6:39Erin Gray: So maybe it's giving yourself, you know, 24 hours and delaying a purchase.
- 6:46Erin Gray: I have started to do that, even more so depending on the amount of the investment, really like weeks now, of allowing myself to ride my wave something that I will I think I've talked about in previous episode.
- 7:05Erin Gray: I'll link that in the show notes.
- 7:06Erin Gray: But if you are defined in your solar plexus with human design in your body graph chart, you know us being what we call wave riders.
- 7:13Erin Gray: It it takes some time to go through that process of feeling that of of the high to the low, to getting to a neutral place to make a decision, so really slowing down that buying process and then coming back later like I've even started taking pictures.
- 7:30Erin Gray: If I'm like at a store I'll take a picture and then I'll go look at it, you know, a day, two days later, and like, do I still want this?
- 7:36Erin Gray: Most of the time the answer is no and you can really gain clarity on whether it's truly something you want versus are you just making that decision in the moment.
- 7:49Erin Gray: And in previous episodes you know I talked about creating some type of money ritual when you sit down with your money, like how do you actually want to be with your money?
- 7:58Erin Gray: So often we end up checking our.
- 8:02Erin Gray: I can't tell you how many people have told me like I don't even wanna look at my money, or I just have my financial planner tell me what to do, or I don't even.
- 8:09Erin Gray: You know, that's somebody else, I just want to give it to somebody else.
- 8:12Erin Gray: But we're still abdicating responsibility and also from an energetic standpoint, it doesn't feel very good, I think if you would ask money, it doesn't feel very good money to be just pushed away.
- 8:23Erin Gray: Right, I don't even want to look at you.
- 8:25Erin Gray: Like imagine if money was a person, would you say, like I don't even want to look at you, I don't even want to deal with that, I just want someone else to deal with that.
- 8:32Erin Gray: Like, that feels like very abrasive.
- 8:35Erin Gray: Put you in the corner, kind of energy, right, versus creating a loving money ritual, and maybe you can't get to the place of loving.
- 8:44Erin Gray: Initially, right, I didn't go from hyper vigilance and avoidance to loving my money, but I do care.
- 8:52Erin Gray: You know I did have a ritual of sitting down and making it an enjoyable experience.
- 8:58Erin Gray: Right, we want, if we want money to hang around with us, if we want money to grow, if we want money to work for us, we have to be kind to money, we have to love on money, we have to treat it with respect.
- 9:11Erin Gray: So most often, so many people just want to check their money and their finances when they have to right, like it's time for a bill to be, you know, paid or something like that.
- 9:22Erin Gray: Or, um, you know, tax season rolls around, like I've asked so many women like, well, when do you, you know, look at your books?
- 9:28Erin Gray: And it's like many women like, well, when do you, you know, look at your books?
- 9:31Erin Gray: And it's like, oh, just when it's tax season.
- 9:32Erin Gray: It's like, well, money likes to be paid attention to and and it feels good to know where you are financially.
- 9:38Erin Gray: Maybe in the beginning, when you're getting started, you may not like the answers, you may not like the math that you're seeing on the computer screen, and we can change that right we.
- 9:49Erin Gray: We don't change that by ignoring it more.
- 9:52Erin Gray: We change it by leaning in, by connecting with money more, both energetically and also 3D wise, like actually paying attention to our money.
- 10:03Erin Gray: So what is a calm, intentional practice around money that you can start implementing and dedicate?
- 10:14Erin Gray: I say every week in the beginning to really do a financial check-in and not just, like I said on the previous episode about budgeting, not just to look at your budget but to look at your whole entire picture right.
- 10:27Erin Gray: What does your investments look like?
- 10:31Erin Gray: How are those performing?
- 10:34Erin Gray: Where are they?
- 10:35Erin Gray: Do you even know where they are?
- 10:37Erin Gray: Um, and really making it a fun and enjoyable experience.
- 10:43Erin Gray: If it was your best friend and you were going to meet them for coffee or go out to lunch with them, would you show up late?
- 10:51Erin Gray: Would you be annoyed that you were there?
- 10:54Erin Gray: Would you be checking your watch and like, how long does this have to take?
- 10:59Erin Gray: Or would you be excited to meet them?
- 11:01Erin Gray: Would you, you know, feel expansive and in curiosity, like I can't wait to hear what she's going to tell me?
- 11:10Erin Gray: That is the way that we want to start thinking about with money and I know it doesn't happen overnight, but it does happen and the more that we avoid it, the more that we shame and guilt ourselves for not doing the things, the longer it stays exactly how it is.
- 11:27Erin Gray: So think about how do I want to be with my money?
- 11:30Erin Gray: You know, if you had the amount of money that you wanted to have, what would you be doing differently and start doing some of those things?
- 11:37Erin Gray: So you know, sometimes I have a favorite candle that I'll light.
- 11:42Erin Gray: Um, I've even I love piano guys.
- 11:46Erin Gray: So I used to play piano guys.
- 11:48Erin Gray: Like that's also so soothing to the nervous system as well.
- 11:51Erin Gray: What is your favorite beverage, you know?
- 11:55Erin Gray: Is it morning time or afternoon or evening?
- 11:57Erin Gray: That works better for you.
- 11:58Erin Gray: Like, start doing things that really support your nervous system and also you and your money when you're sitting down.
- 12:06Erin Gray: If you're not a morning person, then don't schedule time to do your money in the morning, right?
- 12:10Erin Gray: I have a friend her husband does the money like at 7am.
- 12:15Erin Gray: That's when he likes to do it.
- 12:16Erin Gray: I don't do my money at 7am.
- 12:18Erin Gray: I don't like to do that.
- 12:19Erin Gray: Right, I like to get up, I like to work out, I like to do my things, and then I like to come in and look at our money, and so it's going to be different for everyone.
- 12:27Erin Gray: But really creating some type of money ritual for you that works for you, and I think we need to get in the habit of celebrating, like celebrate every single thing.
- 12:38Erin Gray: Maybe in the beginning it's.
- 12:39Erin Gray: You know what?
- 12:39Erin Gray: I just sat down with my money when I said I was going to celebrate it.
- 12:42Erin Gray: What are you going to do to celebrate yourself?
- 12:44Erin Gray: And also you can link this with how is this one thing that you just did, helping you create the life that you want.
- 12:52Erin Gray: So, you know, sometimes affirmations don't necessarily work because our bodies don't believe it.
- 12:57Erin Gray: You know, we're telling ourselves we're abundant, we're abundant, we're abundant, and we're like no, we don't really feel like that.
- 13:02Erin Gray: Right, but sitting down with your money and then linking it to how is that creating the life that I want?
- 13:08Erin Gray: Well, when I sit down with my money, I know where I am and I'm able to, you know, see how my money is growing and that's going to create X, y, z.
- 13:16Erin Gray: Give yourself an integral.
- 13:23Erin Gray: You know, like reflect on how you're spending and you're investing is actually aligning with your goals.
- 13:25Erin Gray: I don't think we give ourselves enough credit.
- 13:27Erin Gray: And then the third thing, I think, is the magic key and you know, when I first heard this I was like oh, I'm so tired of hearing this but is gratitude for your money?
- 13:36Erin Gray: What?
- 13:37Erin Gray: Whatever, wherever you are, we can be grateful for what we have.
- 13:42Erin Gray: And more often than not because a lot of my clients, they come to me with money, so it's never a our brains might tell us that we don't have money.
- 13:51Erin Gray: But if someone were to actually look at your account, that doesn't know you.
- 13:54Erin Gray: They would say you have plenty of money, but that feeling of never enough manifests in thinking that we don't have enough money right.
- 14:03Erin Gray: So, instead of focusing on the lack right Of what you don't have, of what's missing, of what you should be earning or how far along you should be, all of these shoulds really start to shift your mindset to appreciation.
- 14:20Erin Gray: How has the money that you have generated and that you have invested up until now gotten you to where you are?
- 14:25Erin Gray: You know thanking your money so much, like these years, that we've taken off from working.
- 14:33Erin Gray: I am so grateful for our money.
- 14:35Erin Gray: I'm so grateful that it has supported me and my family to be able to travel and to be to live in places that you know were once a dream and to spend time with my daughter.
- 14:48Erin Gray: Like I'm so grateful for my money.
- 14:51Erin Gray: Like it will make me cry saying that because there was a time when I used to think and beat my money up, which is ultimately right.
- 15:00Erin Gray: I just would do that with myself, but being so thankful and grateful for where you are with your money, one of the things that I do every morning is, when I wake up in the morning, I think about three things that I'm grateful for, and typically two out of the three are always one what with my body am I grateful for?
- 15:19Erin Gray: And two with the money.
- 15:21Erin Gray: And then the third one I figure out.
- 15:23Erin Gray: You know, what do I want to choose to be grateful for?
- 15:24Erin Gray: But really spending intentional time of feeling grateful with your money.
- 15:30Erin Gray: Right, expressing gratitude when you spend money because you have money to spend.
- 15:35Erin Gray: What does that money allow you to do?
- 15:38Erin Gray: Right, whether it is I mean, it's cold outside right now it's snowing, you know, like that, when you pay for the heat, that it allows you to have a warm house to come home to, when you put gas in your car that you're able to take your child to and from school, or to meet your friend for lunch, or when you invest in your business, how does that actually support you?
- 16:09Erin Gray: Like all of the ways that these experiences that you have with money, how they actually bring you joy, versus this taking away mentality.
- 16:21Erin Gray: And in the beginning you know if you're starting out like one of the things I had to do, because the mind is always going to want to focus on what we don't have, what's wrong, because that is the, that is the thing that kept us safe, but starting a money gratitude journal and I'm not saying to just bypass how you're feeling, right, if you're feeling frustration, if you're feeling anger, if you're feeling shame or guilt or whatever other emotion you're feeling, that does need to be felt.
- 16:50Erin Gray: And once it is felt and processed and moved through, coming back to gratitude, so writing down, you know like I do it in my head when I wake up in the morning.
- 17:05Erin Gray: But maybe you start a ritual for yourself and your money and like writing down one thing every single day, cause in the beginning this was really hard for me Like I had to really work for what was I grateful for, not just with money, but like with everything.
- 17:19Erin Gray: But you know, starting writing down just one thing that's different from yesterday and the day before, that you're grateful for with your money and what has it provided for you.
- 17:31Erin Gray: Like, really start to ask your brain these questions so it can find the answers for you.
- 17:36Erin Gray: And, like I mentioned, saying thank you when you pay a bill acknowledging you know how much it has supported you and allowed you to have the life that you have.
- 17:48Erin Gray: I've also used this term before.
- 17:52Erin Gray: Right, like we're so focused on spending versus investing.
- 17:55Erin Gray: You know four.
- 17:57Erin Gray: Right, like we're so focused on spending versus investing.
- 17:59Erin Gray: You know, every time I invest in myself, I'm not spending money on myself.
- 18:01Erin Gray: I'm investing in myself, in my brain, in my emotional wellbeing and my future.
- 18:05Erin Gray: So really changing that mindset around investing in yourself, your future, your wellbeing versus I'm spending money is huge.
- 18:16Erin Gray: So, to recap, you know the the mindful money practices to get in a habit of doing is practicing consciously paying attention to where your money comes from, where it goes to.
- 18:31Erin Gray: Right the conscious spending, creating a loving, nurturing money ritual that supports you, that feels good for you, whether it be the time of day, the type of beverage you have, whether it's lighting a candle, what you decide to wear, where you want to be in the house.
- 18:49Erin Gray: Make it fun for you, that it's something that you look forward to and you want to sit down and do like a money date right, that's what I call it versus this have to energy.
- 19:01Erin Gray: And finally, and I think the most important one, is practicing gratitude for everything.
- 19:06Erin Gray: Like we want money, we say we want more money, we want to do things with our money, but we don't treat money the way that we want money to treat us right.
- 19:15Erin Gray: It feels very, can feel very one-sided.
- 19:18Erin Gray: So really practicing, starting out in the beginning.
- 19:21Erin Gray: You know every day what am I grateful for with our money, what has our money allowed us to do, and saying thank you, and it's not just doing the thing, it's actually feeling it in your body.
- 19:34Erin Gray: Right, and sometimes in the beginning, what I call it is you have to graft meaning, you have to think about another circumstance in your life that you're so grateful for that it could literally make you cry.
- 19:47Erin Gray: You might have to use some of that experience and feeling to get to the, to bring it over to money, and that's okay.
- 19:55Erin Gray: That's what I had to do in the beginning until I got to the point where I was just like I said I could cry.
- 20:01Erin Gray: You know, um, feeling so grateful for our money and what it has done for us, and showing appreciation, whatever way it's flowing, whether it's flowing to someone else from you or it's flowing to you from someone else.
- 20:17Erin Gray: Showing such appreciation gas in your car, groceries you know how often people are like, oh, you know inflation and the grocery bill, and they're just complaining about all the things.
- 20:27Erin Gray: It's like yeah, and you have money to buy groceries, you have money to go to the you know grocery store of your choice and pick out what you want, like feeling gratitude for where you are.
- 20:40Erin Gray: Okay, that's what I've got for you.
- 20:41Erin Gray: You know, mindfulness and money they go hand in hand, right?
- 20:46Erin Gray: We sometimes think that they're separate things, but they are intertwined and married, and when you bring awareness and intention and gratitude into your finances, I truly believe everything shifts.
- 21:01Erin Gray: So if you're ready to take this work deeper and build a financial plan that truly supports your life, I would love to support you.
- 21:09Erin Gray: You can head over to my website at generatealifewelllivedcom, click on the link or the tab work with me, and then underneath there is support and mentoring, one-on-one, and you can schedule a call.
- 21:22Erin Gray: We can transform your relationship with money together in a way that feels so good to you and your body and your finances, and it can be a place of fun and joy instead of dread and guilt.
- 21:36Erin Gray: Okay, I'll see you in the next episode.
- 21:38Erin Gray: Did you learn something today?
- 21:40Erin Gray: Do you know another female entrepreneur who might be avoiding her money?
- 21:44Erin Gray: Will you send this episode over to her for me and, if you have it in you, please leave me a review for this podcast.
- 21:51Erin Gray: It helps the show grow and I love hearing from you.
- 21:54Erin Gray: See you next week.