Latest / The Nadia Chapman Show / You’re Not Here to Please Everyone

Transcript

You’re Not Here to Please Everyone · The Nadia Chapman Show

• 0:03
  Hello, beautiful people, and welcome back to the Nadia Chapman Show.
• 0:08
  Are you walking right now? Are you driving or maybe you're cleaning or doing yard work?
• 0:15
  But thank you so much for tuning in and listening to this new podcast with a
• 0:20
  great topic today that I think everybody wrestled with at some point in their lives.
• 0:27
  I'm Nadia Chapman, your mindset coach and your no-nonsense hype woman when it
• 0:33
  comes to building a life that actually feels like you.
• 0:37
  Today, we're talking about caring too much about what other people think.
• 0:45
  Yikes. The opinions, the judgments, what will they think or what will they say?
• 0:53
  Let's be real. We all care at some level, and most of the time we care too much
• 1:00
  about what other people think of us.
• 1:02
  But when other people's opinions start running your life, you stop living your life.
• 1:09
  So in this episode, we're going to talk about how to break free from the fear
• 1:16
  of judgment, which is not easy at all.
• 1:20
  How to stop second-guessing yourself and really learn how to move powerfully
• 1:26
  into your own direction, even if people don't get it.
• 1:31
  Let's get right into it.
• 1:33
  Why do we care so much about what other people think anyways?
• 1:39
  Well, because we are wired to want connection, belonging, and approval of others.
• 1:47
  So it's not a weakness to make you feel better. It's just biology.
• 1:53
  See, it's not your fault. Our brains evolve to need a tribe,
• 2:00
  really, because back in the days, being kicked out of the tribe meant you literally didn't survive.
• 2:07
  So now when someone raises an eyebrow at your dreams or your choices,
• 2:12
  your nervous system really acts like, oh no, danger, rejection and coming.
• 2:19
  But here's the thing, we're not in prehistoric tribe anymore.
• 2:24
  And the people, you know, judging you, well, they're not feeding you dinner.
• 2:30
  They're not financing you or fulfilling your purpose.
• 2:33
  So why are they in the driver's seat of your life?
• 2:38
  You want to create a new business or you want to, I don't know,
• 2:44
  start a new sport, whatever it is, write a book, wear a crazy outfit.
• 2:50
  Say, just even say what you actually think.
• 2:53
  So then we wonder, oh,
• 2:56
  If I do this, or I do that, or I say this, or I say that, what will they say?
• 3:00
  What will she think? What will he say? And just like that, you start shrinking.
• 3:06
  You stay quiet. You edit yourself out of your own life, out of your own,
• 3:11
  you know, opinions and choices, because you don't want to bother them.
• 3:17
  You want to feel accepted.
• 3:18
  Here's the kicker. No matter what you will do, people will still judge you.
• 3:24
  They will judge you anyway.
• 3:27
  You could be the sweetest peach on the tree and someone's still going to hate
• 3:33
  peaches. I say that all the time. It's one of my favorite quotes.
• 3:37
  So might as well be fully you. So let's talk about mindset shift and whose opinion matters.
• 3:45
  Let's do a quick exercise.
• 3:47
  Grab a pen and paper or a mental pen and paper and write down whose opinion am I afraid of?
• 3:56
  Maybe it's your mom. Maybe it's an old coach.
• 4:00
  Maybe a random person online that follows you or random people on social media. I don't know.
• 4:08
  Ask yourself, whose opinion am I afraid of?
• 4:11
  Do they live the life I want? Are they taking the risk I want to take?
• 4:17
  Are they even thinking about me as much as I think they are?
• 4:22
  Because I have a little newsflash for you.
• 4:25
  Most people are way too freaking busy thinking about themselves and obsessing
• 4:32
  over themselves and obsessing over your choices.
• 4:36
  So here's the rule. Don't take criticism from someone that you wouldn't even get advice from.
• 4:43
  That's rule number one. But rule number two, have an honest look at the situation.
• 4:49
  Do you really think that these people obsess over you and your choices and your
• 4:53
  opinion as much as you think they are?
• 4:56
  I don't know. You've got to filter out the noise, guys.
• 5:00
  You weren't born to be liked and to be loved by everybody. That's impossible.
• 5:06
  You were born to be authentic. So I'm going to give you some tools to stop caring
• 5:10
  so damn much about what other people think of you and start living your life.
• 5:16
  We're going to get practical here. I'm going to give you five mindset tools
• 5:20
  to help you stop caring about what people think.
• 5:23
  Tool number one, you're going to create your inner board of directors. You heard me right.
• 5:30
  Choose three to five people whose opinion actually matter.
• 5:35
  Only three to five people whose opinion actually matter.
• 5:39
  People who love you, challenge you, and want to see you grow.
• 5:44
  If someone's not on that board, ah, guess what?
• 5:48
  Their opinion equals background noise.
• 5:52
  We don't care. Tool number two, practice asking yourself, so what? That's your power.
• 6:00
  Someone thinks that your dream is crazy. So what?
• 6:04
  Someone thinks you're crazy for, I don't know, entering a competition or trying
• 6:10
  something new and quitting your job or wearing a crazy dress.
• 6:14
  So what? You made a mistake in public? So what?
• 6:19
  You wore an outfit and someone rolled their eyes. So freaking what?
• 6:26
  Every time you say, so what? You reclaim your own power.
• 6:31
  I even have to pause because this is so beautiful and powerful.
• 6:35
  Every time you say, so what? You reclaim your power. So this is tool number two. Practice it.
• 6:42
  So what? Tool number three. Remember, they're just projections.
• 6:47
  People project their fears and
• 6:50
  their own limitations on other people also their
• 6:54
  insecurities you know so when they
• 6:56
  say you can't what they really mean
• 7:00
  is i couldn't so you don't have to accept every projection handed to you tool
• 7:07
  number four take bold visible action start doing scary ass things in small ways.
• 7:17
  So post the video, share your ideas, set the boundary, which each act of courage
• 7:25
  you will prove to yourself, you know what?
• 7:27
  I can survive this approval and I still thrive. I'm still alive.
• 7:32
  I still had breakfast this morning. I still, you know, I'm breathing.
• 7:37
  You can do it. You can slowly put little tiny action steps to prove yourself
• 7:44
  that you can take action, be yourself, and survive the whole damn process.
• 7:50
  Tool number five, your vision must be louder than the opinion of others.
• 7:56
  You have to want your dream more than you want to be liked.
• 8:01
  That's my writer downer for this episode. You have to want your dream more than
• 8:07
  the opinion of others, more than wanting to be liked by others.
• 8:11
  So let your vision be the voice in your head, not your doubt. In my old.
• 8:18
  Episodes of the Nada Chapman show from a few years back,
• 8:21
  I talk about that, how so many people who are very rich and famous right now
• 8:26
  were told no again and again and pushed through so much criticism from people
• 8:32
  around them or people laughing at their ideas.
• 8:35
  So, you know, your vision must be louder than the opinion of others.
• 8:39
  Guys, this is your life with your own rules. So let me be real with you before we wrap this up.
• 8:46
  You will never fully be free until you stop letting other people rent space in your mind for free.
• 8:54
  Your life is too short and your purpose is way too sacred and your potential
• 8:59
  way too powerful to waste it on someone else's comfort zone.
• 9:04
  You don't need their validation to move forward.
• 9:07
  You don't need everyone to clap all the time. You just need to believe in yourself
• 9:12
  louder than the opinions of other people.
• 9:17
  Every successful person you admire had people laugh at them,
• 9:22
  judge them, doubt them, but they're doing it anyway.
• 9:25
  So can you. So here's a recap.
• 9:28
  Caring what others think is human, but it's not a life strategy.
• 9:33
  Not everyone's opinion deserves a seat at your table.
• 9:36
  Let your vision guide you, not their fear.
• 9:40
  So listen up. You weren't put on this earth to tiptoe around other people's
• 9:45
  comfort zone. You were made to stretch.
• 9:48
  You were made to fall and get back up, not caring what other people are saying and thinking.
• 9:55
  You were meant to shine, to break molds.
• 9:58
  So let this be the day that you say, you know what?
• 10:03
  Thank you for your opinion. I'm doing it anyway. If this episode lit something
• 10:08
  in you, share it with someone who really needs to stop playing small.
• 10:13
  Until next time, I'm Notta Chapman, and I believe in the version of you that's
• 10:19
  about to stop caring about what people think. And finally...
• 10:24
  Music.