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86: Mozzarella... Cheese · Wine & Audacity

• 0:25
  Speaker 1: So what is your age range my prior just in general,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: what's your age range? I feel like now me at
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: my current age, I could maybe days somebody that's thirty.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Maybe they's somebody that.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Just turned thirty. I don't think I can go that long. Okay,
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: maybe thirty five. Okay, yeah, maybe thirty five.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: I used to be nobody put the put the mic
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: back in your face.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Thank you, she knew how I speaking to the mic.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: You need to stop adking now.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: Talking to the make Caroline. Previously it was nobody under
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: the age of thirty seven. The current stage nobody age
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: under thirty four.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Kay, the young boy and did some things to she
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: lost to.
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, mm hmm, I'm in my sensitive girl era.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: M hm. Must be names.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: I love it here.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: I don't want none of them.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I think the youngest I could do is thirty. I
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: think the oldest. Maybe I'm different youngest oldest might be
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: maybe forty five, forty four, forty five.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: I've gone older than that. Fifty Yeah, absolutely not.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: I mean no, granted, maybe them fifty. You know what
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: they do a little bit.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Yea that just passed. He was fifty.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: One time.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: He's fifty two. I think he was fifty two.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: And when I said him, yeah, I was in my
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: late to early thirties and he was already in late
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: to early thirties. How they were my late late twenties,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: early thirties. Child. You went from thirty six to thirty one.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Kay, I've been drinking. I've been drunk to KILLO again
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: this week?
• 2:27
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, late twenties, early thirties.
• 2:29
  Speaker 7: No disrespect when I asked you this question, No disrespect.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: That album?
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: Was it your fault?
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: What?
• 2:36
  Speaker 8: Oh?
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Did I get my heart check? No?
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: I mean this could you Goo's good bitch, But I
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: don't think it's that good.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: No? No, No, he had he had cancer.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he had cancer. And he didn't tell me it.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Didn't know, No, I didn't know. I knew something was off.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: I knew something was different, but he never and from
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: what I know, because we had mutual friends, he didn't
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: really tell anybody what exactly how sick he actually was.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: But I just knew something was different, and it started
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: to affect us in the bed room, and I'm like, Okay,
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: maybe his maybe he going to something, you know, because
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: again he was mean.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: He wasn't old, but he was older.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: You know he was in his fifties already kids when baby,
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: when I first started dealing with him, even up until
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: he was in his fifties, he was knocking the bottom out, knocking.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: That's when I said, knocking the sonic coins out there.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: He put some young boys to shame. I promised you
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: he did, and he stayed in the gym.
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: Was my twenties.
• 3:35
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and I'm gonna go ahead and put out there.
• 3:38
  Speaker 7: He was my grandmother's action delivery man.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Now he was dropping.
• 3:46
  Speaker 6: There.
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: And before you look at me like that, your mother
• 3:50
  Speaker 5: co signed it. She was rooting for him.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: Go ahead do it.
• 3:55
  Speaker 7: This drinking is strong enough, I founded because she was.
• 4:00
  Speaker 7: I'm in and he thought that why ain't tell me
• 4:03
  Speaker 7: that's not your child, that's a baby. God wasn't even
• 4:07
  Speaker 7: dealing with you when she got pregnantd But why that's
• 4:10
  Speaker 7: why you disappeared, because that's not your kid. But yeah,
• 4:14
  Speaker 7: I was letting him knocked. I was letting him knock
• 4:16
  Speaker 7: them things back.
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: That's a lot.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: In the basement of her sister's house until.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: He moved, Mitch, not you was in the sister basement.
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: Sneaking in through the side door.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: That's better than the my basement.
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: Before old not the grown man's it.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Damn, damn, I would I would say for me, I
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: can't envision myself dating somebody who could have gone to
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: school with my one of my siblings or my cousin
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: of your cases, your siblings.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: In the case it was my parents.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Right, because my siblings are eighteen nineteen years old than me.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: So I feel some type of years older than me.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I feel like I'll be filing the boys.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: We out of the spot and say, oh ship, then
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: we go to Warbroke coming back, and then we go
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: from war Broke back in eighty nine. Bit war don't
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: exist no more. Y'all you gradual co was ninety one.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Y'all was a classmate. Not you graduated the year I
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: was born, MISSISSI.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: Right, you graduated the year I was born. Mm hmm no.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: And that's why, man. He went to school. One of
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: my my good girlfriends. And you know I like to
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: hang around with older folks. They know how to party.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: They my step mother and my aunt real quick.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: Man.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I keep telling you I can't do last minute stuff.
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: Listen.
• 5:52
  Speaker 7: It was first sister Toya, and she told me something
• 5:57
  Speaker 7: about them and what they call it and they're doing
• 5:59
  Speaker 7: it tomorrow. It ain't going on like that. They just
• 6:02
  Speaker 7: having like crabs and.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Stuff on the porch at her house.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: I don't know. It might be her house, might be
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: a house somebody.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: But I have to come back up to Baltimore. I've
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: been here, I would say yesterday. I'm here today doing
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: the third day in a row with gas and I
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: got meal prepa Gary for work. I'm in the class next.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: He ain't coming next weekend.
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: When said you got to listen, I.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Know, but I am one of those people. I love folks.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I think Shauna is one of if Shauna Kean and
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Aaron never do it, but Shauna is probably one of
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: the few people that I would do last minute plans with.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: But with weekends, with me having a meal prepagaray for
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: the work week, that's not something I play about.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, I'm saying.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: But then even just during the weeks.
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: Tomorrow and I know in advanced one of the next
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: one is.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Something like that. Bothers me. I feel like you're like, oh,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: I ain't got it out to.
• 6:57
  Speaker 7: Let me call you either that or somebody can so.
• 7:00
  Speaker 7: And now all of a sudden, you got time for me. Yeah,
• 7:03
  Speaker 7: because you can make plays with the mother people that
• 7:05
  Speaker 7: canceled on you, but you want to call me last minute,
• 7:07
  Speaker 7: my nigga.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Playing something out there you really want to And that's
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: an issue with that I find with wanting to date.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I had this conversation with with my therapist, Missus Howard
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: on vacation girl, come back please, I'm going through some things,
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: but I had. She asked me if I was ready
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: to date or if I was open to it, and
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: I told her, I said, part of me wants to date,
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: because yeah, I do want to have companionship and somebody
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: run my button every now.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: And then something, you know, I said.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: But the other part of me is like the date
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: pool has the sewage in it from the Springfield power
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: plant right now, Like I'm I'm petrified to put myself
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: out there. I am petrified to put myself out there
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: and then somebody fucking plays in my face again because
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm gonna be on the episode of
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: fucking fatal a traction, Like I'm really scared. So I
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: want to try.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: I want to try to allow somebody in my space,
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: in my spirit, but it's certain fucking.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Criterion that you have to meet.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: And I don't feel like that's doing too much, or
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: that I'm being negative or anything like that because I
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: hear somebody say it to me. No, I'm not being negative,
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: but being realistic. I'm not going to allow I've been
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: hurt one time too many, and I had to reevaluate
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: myself and realize who I was allowing in my space.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: I had to because a lot of people fail to
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: do that, look at themselves, because sometimes you attract the
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: type and you don't even realize you're attracted that type
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: until you look back at the last few people you
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: fucking dated.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Now, my issue was always dating people.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I always promised myself I wouldn't ated a man like
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: my father. And when I say that, to say, my
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: father was a provider. My father worked all his life,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: you know when he got shit together. He worked all
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: his life. But when it came to relationships, God, I'm
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: gonna keep it funky. My father wasn't when it in
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: the relationships. I love my stepmother to the death of me,
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: but I have no idea.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: May he had to have grown woman.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Conversations said, how the hell did you put up with
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: that man? For twenty something years.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I don't have no idea.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: She's a good woman, one of the best people, one
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: of the best people you ever met in your life.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: She's incredible. Men with fall to their needs for a
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: woman like her, good woman. And I was like, as
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: a grown ass woman and myself, now, you ain't deserve her.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: You ain't deserve her. I told him one day we
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: were talking. I said, if she leave you, I'm going
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: with her.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: I told him that I did.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: I'm going with her.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: I'm taking her side, sir. I'm going with her because
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: I know it was you.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: I knowed you.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: I knew my father, listening to the stories from my
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: mother and my brother's mother and whatever.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I knew my father. He didn't deserve her.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: But she's stuck by Hi because she loved She loved
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: that man of death, loved them to death.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: That's why.
• 10:03
  Speaker 7: Before you go, I'm gonna tell you, but I always
• 10:06
  Speaker 7: found my hold on.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Don't you know I got finished my point? But wait,
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: hold on, ad D, you don't let me.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: Finish my You're gonna finish what I'm gonna tell you.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: I know you can't when you go into dating, you
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: cannot go on to dating being afraid to be hurt
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: because I get that and you, but you have to
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: have the realization that, like I know it's going to happen,
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: and be okay if it happens.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: I can't promise that, friend, I'm still a work in progress.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: But no, I told you on vacation.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Being okay, like being okay with the being okay with
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: the hurt.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Because my thing is, keep it phoonky with me. If
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: you don't like me, if you don't see it working. Now,
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: if you we get into it and you realize that
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: I'm not what you want, don't play in my face. No,
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: don't go me, don't just don't just don't just leave
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: me to figure it out on my own.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Let me know.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Listen, this ain't working. We probably we can part and
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: probably can be friends. Hey, good to see you, ex
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: text message. Hey, I'm glad you're doing okay, I'm good.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: But if you play me, you're playing my face with
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: you go cheat on me, and you got me in
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: these streets looking crazy.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you crazy. But that's one thing. Okay,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: before we before we can get in this conversation. Welcome
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: to this week's episode of the podcast. I'm your host,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: brand It is the card and I'm joined by one of
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: my favorite people in the world again this week. How
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: are you feeling shown I I'm cool and I'm chilling
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: them straight. That's good. So Aaron decided not to come
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: back because Nigga's still on anniversary time with the missus
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: as he should. We need another niece enough here, yes
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: we do so, and then not looking at me because
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I ain't got nobody to have kids with or by,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: So you will, friend, I will not right now? Where
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: is this going?
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: Listen?
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: And the little test two things like, don't get men
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: test test to.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Test two babies. That's fine anyway, I love you biological children.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: Oh fair, find you?
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Nobody said by the time I decided to find a
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: husband and we get around, I'm gonna need to find
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: somebody by half my age anyway. As y'all have heard,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: we have our two of our repeat co hosts back.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Say hello to Ron and Ebo. How are you feeling
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: this week?
• 12:21
  Speaker 7: Backle correct, we never let me cook in the eighties
• 12:27
  Speaker 7: when it was pure.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Bars. Okay, well, I'm gonna move past that.
• 12:44
  Speaker 9: Going to move past that today, Mr, move past that,
• 12:56
  Speaker 9: going to the next song.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: The next conversation Niggas Public Radio y r NPRS Radio.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: We on a UPN network, underpaid. Yes, So yeah, what
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: were we talking about before the intro? Ship dating? So
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: one thing I've kind of come I've come to terms
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: with I haven't dated. I think this year actually I've
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: kind of just been like, I haven't been on the apps.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: You know, I was a space. I haven't really dated,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: haven't really done anything. And my tolerance for fuckery and
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: foolish this is at a very low, very low threshold. Yes,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: And I think for me, I've I'm at the point
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: now where I red flags for me are insta cut
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: off in chot. So as soon as you show something
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: that is proof positive of an incompatibility, yeah, once you
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: once you show me, you know, proof of a red
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: flag or in compatibility, it's an automatic chop because I can't.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna invest any more time and I'm gonna
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: be disappointed. Sure, but it would never get to a
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: point if you playing in my face, because I would
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: have picked up on it before that point. Since we
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: brung them up.
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: They really red flags. All our things that we're saying
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: refles really red.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Or you said.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: No flags that waves.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: In the wind, yeah, I mean they waving them.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: Okay, I don't know, sir, I don't know.
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: They go go out out out, Yo.
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: The cameras are gonna be allow a camera. We can't
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: take it away. This is part of the entertainment.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Very good idea.
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: And when Mama I said I was gonna come back
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: to this later on. When I got so I need
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: to be at, my mind stopped going. I know you
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: said no table. Yeah, there was no just do the
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: chairs and no table for the setup for the recording.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Why are you talking about that?
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: Because didn't I.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: Say, once I get where I need to be at,
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: I can have a conversation because it'll come to my head.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, and it kicks where you're going? Okay, where you
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: going with this?
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: You need a table because the table helps this type
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: of conversation.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean that's that's random relevant.
• 15:41
  Speaker 7: But I mean I feel like, but if you're on table,
• 15:44
  Speaker 7: where're you going to hit the drinks that hold my drink?
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'll simply say this. I'm at peace with letting
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: things happen as they may, but I know I still
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: have some work to do with getting out of my
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: own way and out of my own head.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: About some ship conversationally nice.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: That's like how you back into the conversation it was nice.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: I had to get it out though, so he got it.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: He gave episodes and episodes of practice.
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: But I had to get the thought out.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you can't. And I've learned that I can't try
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: to shield myself from everything because you'll block everything out.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: But I also have learned that a lot of it
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: is putting myself in new situations, around different types of people,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: in different situations, different places, doing things I haven't done before,
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: because you meet different people, you meet different people, and
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: you expose yourself to different experiences, and you may just
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: meet your person doing something new.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know you never do definitely, yes, keep a
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: tracking the same people.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: That was a thing that was part of the reason
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: why I went to therapy and.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: The first that's one of the things that I talked about,
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Like I said, like I was, I was saying before
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: the intro, before this bit to cut me off, as
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: you know, I got adhd it. I always said that
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: I didn't, but I found myself in several relationships with
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: men like my father and and I never like I
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: didn't understand it until I went to therapy and spoke
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: about it and talked about it because that's what I
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: was used to, That's what I knew, so that's what
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: I was gravitating. And I also been told that I
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: have a heal in spirit. So people that got fucking issued.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: He's the issue with having a hell in spirit, and
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: I hate it.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: I hate it.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: I hated with having Here's the issue with that. Who
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: heals you when you're trying to fix when you're trying
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: to fix everybody else's problems and be there for everybody
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: else and do for everybody else and make sure everybody
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: else is okay, then you calm down. You have nothing
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: left for yourself because you're mentally an emotionally drained.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: I told just so. I had this conversation with your
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: sister about ten years ago after the relationship sister and
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: my niece has sorry in advance if you hear this,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: but I asked her because she would deal with women
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: who had children and had myriads of issues. They had
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: emotional issues, they were homeless, they had all these things
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: going on with them, and she would step in like
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: Captain Captain mommy daddy and step in and want to
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: be the parent for the kids and step in and
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: for these things, and all these relationships were toxic. They
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: would end up in stuff. And of course my niece
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: was now with our faults. She had her own ship
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: that I learned years later, she had her own ship
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: with her. But I literally asked her to her guests.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: But I asked her to her face and said, I said,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: do you realize that you keep She I said, you
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: don't realize, and I think I was. That was before
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I moved to DC, when I was in the apartment
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: out in Risterstown and we were living together, and she
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: and I were looking for apartments to move into and
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: she wanted the girl and the girls kids to come
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: with us. And I said, I'm not living with your
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: girlfriend that you did that you just met in two kids.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know that. She couldn't. She couldn't wrap her
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: head around the fact why I would be uncomfortable with
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: kids in a space that I don't know, I'm not
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: familiar with.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: And it's to you bringing three additional.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: People with you, right, And we had this conversation before,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: but the issue this was this was this was twelve
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: thirteen years ago at this point. But I asked her,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I said, listen, you can date who you want to date.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: I'm not telling you who you can or can't deal with.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: But they're literally here every day. Can they go home?
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: Can we work out a schedule to whar they're here
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: a couple of days a week when I'm here? At
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: that point, I was in a relationship person. I was
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: I would go to DC for the weekend and be
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: there Friday Saturday, come home on Sunday. I said, can
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: they they can be here on weekend when I'm out here?
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Can they go home? Maybe on Tuesday, come back on
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: like Thursday. No, They're gonna be here when I want
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: them here. I said, okay, bet because I said, well,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: if that's the case, and you are now assuming care
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: for three additional people, are we splitting the bills five ways?
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: And I take I take one fit for the building,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: you take the other four fifths that you're taking care
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: of three additional people and electric, water utilities and things.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: She said, if you want to just walk around house
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: in your underwear, you can't do that. I said, that's
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: not the point. I said.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: If you the place that you pay bildsing is supposed
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: to be the place that you find peace and comfort.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: But and I also said, if you and this girl
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: fall out, and in my brain goes to absolutely worst
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: worst case scenario, her and this not even that her
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: and this girl would would come together. They go and
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: gena the door, the kids in the third bedroom pulling down, hurting,
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: and I said, you're not you're not watching these kids.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: You want to play step daddy. But the mother that's
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: coming out out fucking security, deposit the FU. And I said,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: I said, worst case scenario. If somebody wants to be vindictive.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know these kids. These kids don't know me.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: They laid up in this house all in texting, my
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: brain did go here. I'll say it. I'm probably wouldn't
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: have taken this out, but I said, if the girl
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: wants to be petty and vindictive and try to get
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: at your ass, he touched my kids, mm hmm, yeah,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: people are not They will do that. He touched, He
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: molests than my kids.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I didn't, but it's my word against hers.
• 21:44
  Speaker 6: And.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: Always believe her first.
• 21:49
  Speaker 7: Now tell you probably gotta leave, which put somebody else
• 21:54
  Speaker 7: in a messed up predicament behind things.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Like or in a situation where they fault. She would
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: have fallen behind on bills or something would have happened
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: to her and the girl would have fallen out. She
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: comes and trashes the whole apartment. My shit get fucked
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: up because y'all, y'all fell out and in a situation relationship.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: But it's just like and would.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: But even before I said, look, I'm not putting myself
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: in a situation. So I said, you got it, and
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: I left when the least ended. I moved to DC
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: with the person I was in a relationship with at
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: that time, and her and the girl, they was maybe
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: for another year before they ended up ended up imploding
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: and that ended. But I said, I'm not gonna put
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: myself in a situation.
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: And I think at that time I was getting pregnant,
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: trying to be.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Ass but it wasn't. That wasn't I said. Come to
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: find out, the girl was fucking homeless, all of them.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: That's why she couldn't go home. She had no home,
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: they had a place to be. The math is mass.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: I found that. I found that out after the fact.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: The girl was homeless. But I was like, well did
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: you find her at Facebook? I believe, but you keep
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: I literally female, you keep meeting all these women with kids,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: and they get they got issues, they homeless, they got
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: drug problems, They all this ship that keep going on.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: I said, do you realize that you're just essentially meeting
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: your mother over and over and getting different women. You
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: you crave the relationship, you craving, You craving the relationship
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: you missed with your mother because she had her issues
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: and she dropped you off at your grandmother's house and
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: she went on and lived her life and abused drugs
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: and stepped in and came out. I said, do you
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: realize that you just meeting your mother and all these women,
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: these running made families that they have, and you stepped
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: in trying and pay stepdaddy because you want you want
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: that love that your mother and never gave you. When
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I tell you, she looked at me and just blinked
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: for like three menes and just walked off and didn't
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: say anything.
• 23:43
  Speaker 7: Said what can you say to the truth from the
• 23:48
  Speaker 7: eldest that was removed. I was removed.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: Sent to my man.
• 23:55
  Speaker 7: Fortunately we're great now, But unfortunately that was the even
• 23:58
  Speaker 7: worst decision because I would rather stay with my grandmother.
• 24:01
  Speaker 7: At least he wouldn't have been whipping my ass at
• 24:05
  Speaker 7: least I wouldn't have got molested by his best friend
• 24:08
  Speaker 7: at nine, which started my period. So at least you
• 24:14
  Speaker 7: had somebody that actually loved you to show you that
• 24:18
  Speaker 7: you didn't have to go that route. But that's what
• 24:19
  Speaker 7: you choose because unfortunately, our issues are our issues. The
• 24:22
  Speaker 7: issues I feel you when you said dating the people
• 24:25
  Speaker 7: that's like you, man, I haven't a physically abusive man,
• 24:30
  Speaker 7: but each one of them were manipulentive, narcossistic, emotionally, abusial, abusive.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: Different ways, you know. So it's just a different type
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: of abuse.
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: Abuses abuse regardless of what strength it runs on.
• 24:41
  Speaker 7: Unfortunately, emotional and mental abuses way harder to get over
• 24:44
  Speaker 7: than physical. In fact, I can heal from something physical
• 24:49
  Speaker 7: restionship that stuck with me, and.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: You gotta do the work in therapy or through other
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: means to try to get rid of it. But until
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: you do that, going to be under the surface that started.
• 25:00
  Speaker 7: The reason that she's here, that my dad did is
• 25:03
  Speaker 7: the reason that she's here, and now the cycle repeats herself.
• 25:07
  Speaker 7: Is that I wish then he will play with me,
• 25:09
  Speaker 7: I told him, But y'all kill all, y'all behind mind
• 25:12
  Speaker 7: and smile happily in jail.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: I monks, y'all like this, geez behind my dad.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
• 25:19
  Speaker 7: That's why she go with because I'm gonna send it
• 25:22
  Speaker 7: to the people that eraised me, my father's mother, my uncle.
• 25:27
  Speaker 7: Go on ahead, down there, go go live how I lived.
• 25:30
  Speaker 7: But that was the price that I paid for that life.
• 25:34
  Speaker 7: So at least you had one stable person in your life.
• 25:37
  Speaker 7: I neither one of mine were good, neither one, neither one.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: But that speaks to I think, and I trauma in that.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: I think their father died when they was like four
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: or five.
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: Years old, even they didn't even make it to two yet.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Oh he died before they when they were two, when
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: they were one. Yep, it was relatively.
• 25:54
  Speaker 7: Young being because he wont to be tied beat up
• 25:57
  Speaker 7: a nigga, stay right here, and he stayed, came back
• 25:59
  Speaker 7: and killed him.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: So any real recollection of.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: For future references, if somebody says, stay right here, I'll
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: bet don't stay.
• 26:09
  Speaker 7: Right there, don't be don't be tough, don't don't don't
• 26:11
  Speaker 7: stay come back with a gun and you ain't already
• 26:13
  Speaker 7: got one on you. And if you stay right there,
• 26:14
  Speaker 7: you great, You're.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: Going to glory.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: But not knowing.
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: Because he was gone before I left.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Not having a grass or knowing how to deal with him.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Of course, Unfortunately, nowadays, I'm not particularly close with my
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: my younger niece or either one of my sister's sons
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: my nephews. I don't I talk to my niece every
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: so often. That my nephews I spoke to them since
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: my mother passed four years ago, because they don't answer
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: the phone, they don't call. That first, maybe few months
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: after she passed, I would reach out trying to check
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: on him. They never responded to a phone call as that.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: After a while, while am I calling people that don't
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: want to.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: I like what you say right there, what you mean
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: about reaching That just took me to another place about
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: reaching out to folks, Yeah, constantly who don't respond or whatever,
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: and they never reach out to you.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: But what bothers me with with with bulls my potatoes
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: but grinds my gears.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: Those are the same people who would sway up and
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: down to the next motherfucker. Oh no, I'll have a
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: relationship with them because they don't reach out or I
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: ain't heard from her, or and that pisses me off
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: because I used to be the one who was constantly
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: reaching out, checking on everybody. But then I had to
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: sit back and I had to say to myself one day, self,
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: and I said, when was the last time this motherfucker
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: checked on you. I'll give you a prime example. I
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: have a little sister who is two years younger than Try.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Now you're old enough to pick up the phone and say,
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: cat dog, billy, goat whatever. Right. And I had the
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: conversation with my therapists, and I say, am I in
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: the wrong for not reaching out to her all the
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: time when she never reached out to me?
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: And she told me no, I.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: Say, because I'm constantly checking on her. Make sure she's okay.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: Now again, she's a teenage I get that. Trey will
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: be seventeen this year. She just turned fifteen. Tray will
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: be seventeen. Tray is seventeen. I'm sorry the birthday passed
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: earlier this month. I can't keep up, check, I can't
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: keep up lord. I just say to day, I just say,
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: the six month old, Now this nig seventeen.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: But what the fuck?
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: But right, so, I like, I remember constantly, you know,
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: when she was younger, she was like nine, when my
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: father passed away, and so I would check on her
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: and make sure she was going to make sure she
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: was okay. And I remember an issue happened earlier this year,
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: late last year, Me and my oldest brother got into it.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: We always getting into it because then Nick always think
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: he's right, and he'd be wrong ninety nine point nine
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: eight five percent of the time, and he was Her
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: mother choke to my grandparents for my grandfather passed away
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: earlier this year, and she was saying that my sister
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: expressed that she felt like once my father passed, that
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: we abandoned.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Her and we weren't there for her, and.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: When you know, she didn't get anything of my father's
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: and personal you know stuff and all that.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: And I called her and I had a conversation with her,
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: and I said, if you felt like.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: That that we didn't, you know, we weren't there for you,
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: me being a big sister or whatever. I apologize because
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: that was never my intention, right because I'm never going
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: to take me and her mother and you always been
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: on the best terms. Really, I ain't always been the
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: best terms with her mama. What fucked about me? But
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: it was some function that when my father passed that
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: put a bad taste in my.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Mouth, and.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: I said, I apologize, I said, but always know that
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: I'm available if you want to. I said, you you've
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: had the phone for a long time. If you want
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: to send me a text message, if you want to
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: pick up the phone to say hasis, I just want
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: to talk. I'm going to talk to you if you
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: say hasis, are you available this weekend? Can you get
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: me and we hang out? Yeah, come on, we're gonna go,
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: get on nails, We're gonna go, we have lunch, We're
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: gonna go walk around the mall. Even though, bitch, my
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: knees hurt. But stick something like that. And I felt like,
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: once she became a teenager, you're at the age where
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: you can reach out to me and say whatever it
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: is that you need to say to me, or say that, Oh, Sis,
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: I felt this way, and that's fine. I'm sitting and
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: listen to you, and I'm not gonna tell you was wrong,
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: because you can never tell somebody how they should feel
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: about a particular situation. Again, I was grown when my
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: father died. She was a child. She was nine. I
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: was thirty one, about to turn thirty one when my
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: father died. Right, So she hit things hit her differently.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: I get it, and I respect that, but I felt
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: like I was being made up to be the bad guy.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Now I will say that a lot of shit was
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: just saggerated again because my brother tends to do that, right,
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: He tends to do that exaggerate shit. But I'm saying
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: this to say, you know, I'm going on to Aaron Tangent.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Sorry.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: I said to say that it just always bothers me
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: that you were always expected. It's always one person that
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: is expected to be the person that reach out, they
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: bring everybody together, that fix everything.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: I'm tired of being that person.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: I used to do it with my family and try
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: to be the one to give everybody together for Fay events.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Before you talk, I told my sister that when our
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: mother passed back in twenty twenty. And I don't know
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: if you were there for this conversation, but when my
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: mother passed in twenty twenty, I told I told your mother.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: I said, listen, your mother has taken care of you,
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: your children, She's taking care.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: Of all of us. You are the eldest out of
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: the children. You are now the matriarch of our immediate family.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: It is on if you want to get all of
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: us together. You want to plan stuff for all of us.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: You want to try to do stuff as a family.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: I said, you are the mother in the situation. You
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: are our mother's daughter, but you are the mother with
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: four adult children, you have grandchildren. It is your job
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: to get everybody together, not mine. Agreed. It is not
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: my on my space to call you, to call your
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: children and checking y'all what you're doing. They're your children
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: and grandchildren. If you want to get everybody together, you
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: need to make the effort. Otherwise it's not gonna happen.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: And I told I told her that to her face
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: when our mother died, and she still sends me text
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: messages to this day. Brandon, I don't want us to
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: get together, and we need to do it once and
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: that's like a family. And I said, plan something. I've
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: been telling you this from last four years. These are
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: your children and grandchildren. Why do I have to corral
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: you and your husband all for your adult children, half
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: of whom I don't talk to me, and it all
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: five or six of your grandchildren. I'm the uncle and
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: great uncle in the situation. I gotta come to you,
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: pick up everybody and drop people off people.
• 32:46
  Speaker 7: I can't I feel I can't even felo type of
• 32:47
  Speaker 7: way about that, because honestly, when the shoe is on
• 32:50
  Speaker 7: the other foot, you lean on me when you actually
• 32:51
  Speaker 7: have a husband, and I was not raised by you,
• 32:55
  Speaker 7: or with you or with them.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: So I feel you.
• 32:59
  Speaker 7: But people like that or people in them shoes, they're
• 33:03
  Speaker 7: always the ones. While the phone works both ways, does
• 33:06
  Speaker 7: a why the fuck am I always the one that
• 33:07
  Speaker 7: got to reach out? Communication, reciprocity and relationships the two
• 33:11
  Speaker 7: way street. It works both ways. So if I'm carrying
• 33:14
  Speaker 7: the load of it, baby, I don't want.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: To carry it no more so me.
• 33:20
  Speaker 7: It's because you don't reach out to me. And then
• 33:23
  Speaker 7: if you do reach out to me, it's because the fuck.
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: You want something you don't get it.
• 33:28
  Speaker 7: Please don't feel no type of way, because at the
• 33:31
  Speaker 7: end of the day, if I gotta be the one
• 33:33
  Speaker 7: to fix prime.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: Minister, run this, give up.
• 33:38
  Speaker 7: Sacrifice what I got going in my life that you
• 33:41
  Speaker 7: ain't help do shit. But you feel entitled too, sweetheart,
• 33:44
  Speaker 7: You're gonna wait on that because where the fuck was
• 33:47
  Speaker 7: you when I needed you? Where the fuck were you
• 33:50
  Speaker 7: making decisions before Grandma passed away? Or this person wherever,
• 33:55
  Speaker 7: and you're still stuck in wherever you was heard that
• 33:57
  Speaker 7: prior to us even being here, you chose what you chose.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: Don't expect grace from people when you didn't extend.
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: Give no great.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: Grace from people. That's what you didn't extend grace to
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: or do for when you had to change. That's yeah,
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: from your you said that. That's why I struggle to
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: ex for help, saying I'll figure the ship out on
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: my own, because I never want somebody to be able
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: to come back and say.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: I did this, this, this, this.
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: And this feud.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: No, No, you want a cookie.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: You're not you want a cookie.
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: You're like a cookie.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: You're not gonna You're not going to do that to me.
• 34:39
  Speaker 5: How much have I done for you?
• 34:40
  Speaker 7: If you want to, because I don't count favors, but
• 34:43
  Speaker 7: if you want to throw the favors that you got
• 34:45
  Speaker 7: in my face that little bit. I've been on this
• 34:47
  Speaker 7: world for thirty something plus years. Where the funk were
• 34:50
  Speaker 7: you at for the first eighteen, especially coming from eldest
• 34:54
  Speaker 7: where you was that for the.
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: First eighteen What did you do for the second team?
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: I know what you have to stop somebody, You have
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: to stop expecting you from other people.
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: That was the realist thing I had ever.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: That was the one.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: Piece of advice that my father gave me thirty years
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: that I had him.
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: That was the you do stuff and then you can't
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: react off of what You can't change you because how
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: other people act, because how you.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: Are, that's you. You can do situation.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: You become like me to an extent. I'm still gonna
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: be the same dope ass fucking person.
• 35:34
  Speaker 7: Not him.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: I'm still going, but I'm a fun with who fuck
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: with me?
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: Because you think about it.
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: You start if you pick up everything that somebody has
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: done that has hurt or damaged you, what are you
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: putting on somebody else?
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: That's just sure, But it also comes to a point
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: where you have to, like I said earlier with my nephews,
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: after so many times of reaching out so much, I
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: fall back. My number has been the same for over
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: twenty years. If you need me, you'll call me and
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: you'll find me. Other than that.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: I said, I want to say, you know what's crazy,
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: So if you want to reach me, I feel some
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: type of way about the scenario between your mom, my
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: mom and me and before she passed, the best thing
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: that she ever said to me was She was like,
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: I'm leaving now, let go of your mother, go live
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: your life.
• 36:31
  Speaker 7: And I did not understand why she would say that
• 36:34
  Speaker 7: to me having this conversation, like, I.
• 36:39
  Speaker 4: Didn't get it.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: Sometimes she can't hit you right.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 36:45
  Speaker 7: I was the one like, yo, y'all might want to
• 36:47
  Speaker 7: get ready. My mother didn't want to hear that. The
• 36:49
  Speaker 7: whole time I'm saying get ready, my grandmother like, let
• 36:52
  Speaker 7: go your mother. And I looked at her strange because
• 36:55
  Speaker 7: when she told me that, I knew that was her
• 36:57
  Speaker 7: making her exit.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: She's making peace with it.
• 36:59
  Speaker 5: She was making peace, let.
• 37:00
  Speaker 7: Go of your mother. And I'm looking at her and
• 37:02
  Speaker 7: I'm like, what she said, listen, let go your mother.
• 37:04
  Speaker 7: She's like, you have your own child, you have your
• 37:07
  Speaker 7: own life, You're trying to do great things. Let go
• 37:11
  Speaker 7: of your mom. She said, make peace with it.
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna say something that is probably gonna be very
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: controversial when some people might not like me for this,
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: but I'm gonna say it anyway because I don't give
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: a fuck.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: It is not our job to parent our parents.
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: That was a hard lesson for me to learn. It
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: is not our job to parent.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: ID give me a little bit, as long as.
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: They're in the right mind.
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: So you know what if it's if like my mother
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: is almost she wants she seventy, now she getting a
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: little mind getting a little loose to Lucy.
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: So now I do got a parent have.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: Sometimes now in the instances that's this.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: And what I mean by that is that when.
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: Your mom was your mom right, I still had.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: But what I mean by that is that as a parent,
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: I felt.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: Like it is our job to facilitate the relationship without children.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: We chose to have them, we raised them right. And
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: I always get so bothered, Like something you said earlier
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: struck cord at me.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: The whole phone breaks up.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: Ways, how do you live daily knowing you have a
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: child out there?
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: I would have let you don't take care. I just
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: have had these conversations with my dad. He passed when
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: I was sixteen, and I would have loved to have
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: seen what his these type of conversations, if he would
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: have even been open to them. Now he would have
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: been my father be in his early seventies now if
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: he was still alive, but just to see, like if
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: he was even open to having these types of conversations.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: Because my father was chilling like that generation when they
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: get older.
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: My grandmother was a cover.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: No because they would have been about to say age
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: my father than my mom be seventy two, mid seventies.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: She shut up, She wouldn't talk.
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: He was fine about feelings. Oh no, no feelings, no emotions.
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: But now, oh yeah, but that childhood, yeah she will
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: talk about it now.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: Yep, that was none of that. And generation it took
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: for me to be in my first romantic relationship to say,
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: why are you so closed off? Why you're so stoked?
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: You have no reaction anything? That's it because I didn't
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: we didn't talk about talk about feelings. We ain't talking
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: dad feelings, all right, you feel clean up? Homework? What all?
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: Y'all touched on something that I'm about.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: To go ahead bring home? Bringing home?
• 39:48
  Speaker 7: You said, how do you know you have a child
• 39:50
  Speaker 7: in this world? Right that you don't talk to you?
• 39:55
  Speaker 7: I don't never really tell anybody the situation about why
• 39:58
  Speaker 7: my child does not primarily stay with me. So We're
• 40:01
  Speaker 7: gonna go ahead and have that conversation because I'm a mom,
• 40:04
  Speaker 7: and I'm gonna try to make it short and sweet.
• 40:06
  Speaker 7: I don't want to rant, but I'm gonna try to
• 40:07
  Speaker 7: make it quick to the point.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: You know he will twenty fifteen. She was born.
• 40:14
  Speaker 7: The day she was born, I died for four minutes.
• 40:17
  Speaker 7: I had a real bad lubis flair. That's why I
• 40:19
  Speaker 7: couldn't dilate. When they finally got me to dilate, she
• 40:22
  Speaker 7: came out. I immediately went to shop.
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: I remember that now.
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: I was gone for four minutes.
• 40:29
  Speaker 7: Came back. I hadn't seen her. What felt like four
• 40:31
  Speaker 7: minutes was really a very long time. I blink twice.
• 40:34
  Speaker 7: They were trying to pull something in my body. I
• 40:36
  Speaker 7: hear it beeping. I go back out. Two years later,
• 40:43
  Speaker 7: I had a real bad They finally diagnosed me fully.
• 40:46
  Speaker 7: I had a real bad flair. I lost everything, my cars,
• 40:49
  Speaker 7: my job, the house that I was staying in. I
• 40:52
  Speaker 7: was in the hospital. Didn't know where I was going
• 40:53
  Speaker 7: to ask my father too, Hey, Stepping, Stepping, I didn't
• 40:58
  Speaker 7: ask you for shit prior to do. But you're stable
• 41:01
  Speaker 7: at the moment.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: You shouldn't have had.
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: In my gripe.
• 41:06
  Speaker 5: That's on what his mother and his father did.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: I can't.
• 41:08
  Speaker 7: I ain't got nothing to do that, but stepping, I never
• 41:11
  Speaker 7: bothered him. I want to go out of town. Her
• 41:13
  Speaker 7: I want to go somewhere. Hey, do you want her
• 41:15
  Speaker 7: first before? I just go ahead and take her with me.
• 41:17
  Speaker 7: Your parents came free range, you didn't neither hit now there,
• 41:20
  Speaker 7: that's a different time frame. This little girl's ninety nine
• 41:24
  Speaker 7: years old. He made it his business to move over
• 41:26
  Speaker 7: an hour and a half away.
• 41:27
  Speaker 5: I don't drive.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: Anymore, got my license.
• 41:30
  Speaker 7: Life is life, though I'm really just starting to get
• 41:32
  Speaker 7: back on my feet from when I was diagnosed.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: When she was too. She's not.
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: Try to take me to go to Jago from me.
• 41:40
  Speaker 5: They laughed in your face.
• 41:43
  Speaker 7: It is My situation may be a little different, but
• 41:46
  Speaker 7: I go through this world, living my life every day,
• 41:50
  Speaker 7: and I have to psych myself into believing that no
• 41:55
  Speaker 7: matter how much I call, no matter how much I communicate,
• 41:58
  Speaker 7: I done bought four an iPad and some more shit.
• 42:02
  Speaker 7: This little girl will let it die. She will not
• 42:04
  Speaker 7: communicate with me. She won't when she off there, she won't.
• 42:08
  Speaker 7: Only time I hear from Herusbanhden. She's tired of them,
• 42:10
  Speaker 7: and she's really ready to come see me. Her father
• 42:14
  Speaker 7: try to tell me she don't want to deal with you.
• 42:15
  Speaker 7: She's avoiding you. I ain't not nothing to her. I
• 42:18
  Speaker 7: buy her the most expensive things, the clothes that I
• 42:20
  Speaker 7: buy every week go to your house and never come back.
• 42:23
  Speaker 5: So I'm forever buying clothes.
• 42:26
  Speaker 7: You put her in, let you put her in events
• 42:30
  Speaker 7: where where you took me to court and they laughed
• 42:32
  Speaker 7: at you, and I still gave you her your way,
• 42:35
  Speaker 7: but you try to make her so busy to the
• 42:37
  Speaker 7: point where even during my time, legally it don't happen.
• 42:42
  Speaker 7: Phones are forever dead. So unfortunately, even though it hurt,
• 42:47
  Speaker 7: I put on a mask to go to this world
• 42:48
  Speaker 7: every day, like I don't got a child, to make
• 42:50
  Speaker 7: sure it happen, just in order to see my child.
• 42:55
  Speaker 7: But if I tell somebody that or people that see
• 42:57
  Speaker 7: me that don't know, because again I don't go around
• 43:00
  Speaker 7: telling this story, that's my business people because they assume
• 43:05
  Speaker 7: that she unfit, She ain't never got hurt, she ain't
• 43:08
  Speaker 7: got this, she got nah ain't nobody on child support.
• 43:12
  Speaker 7: We got fifty to fifty all the way around the board,
• 43:15
  Speaker 7: joint and legal. I'm supposed to be on everything that happens.
• 43:18
  Speaker 7: You know who's on there, that white woman that's his fiance,
• 43:22
  Speaker 7: however long they've been. I'm I'm left out of things,
• 43:30
  Speaker 7: left out completely. I call I don't know shit until
• 43:33
  Speaker 7: she tell me. So when I finally say something, the
• 43:36
  Speaker 7: first thing you want to do is jump to her,
• 43:37
  Speaker 7: throw my nigga.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: You're her parent.
• 43:38
  Speaker 7: You're supposed to communicate with me per law. And unfortunate
• 43:43
  Speaker 7: because I'm still in that. I'm trying to get back
• 43:48
  Speaker 7: what I had when I gave it to you and
• 43:50
  Speaker 7: get back in the space that I was so.
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: She can come home. You make it hard.
• 43:56
  Speaker 7: So walking through this world like you do not have
• 43:59
  Speaker 7: a child is for me to mentally keep it together,
• 44:02
  Speaker 7: so just so I can get these moments. But in
• 44:05
  Speaker 7: your case, but I'm a different case. But if I
• 44:08
  Speaker 7: don't say this, no one knows that. Oh she ain't shit,
• 44:13
  Speaker 7: she a bad woman. She ain't got her parents, she
• 44:14
  Speaker 7: ain't got this. Granted, I don't gotta do the single
• 44:18
  Speaker 7: mom thing. I was grateful for that part, But the
• 44:21
  Speaker 7: other part about that is the shit that y'all don't
• 44:22
  Speaker 7: see that I gotta go through to even cope her.
• 44:26
  Speaker 7: I would rather be in a single woman's a single
• 44:30
  Speaker 7: mother's shoes than mine. But just had these babies and
• 44:35
  Speaker 7: don't give a fuck about nothing, and the men don't
• 44:37
  Speaker 7: want to. I want my child ever re good damn day.
• 44:43
  Speaker 7: But I gotta walk around with a mask on like
• 44:46
  Speaker 7: she does not exist because unfortunately, no matter how much
• 44:49
  Speaker 7: I call, I ain't talking to her until she wants
• 44:53
  Speaker 7: to speak.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: And see that pisses me off because as a as
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: a single woman who's mother, of course everything falls on
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: my shoulders. And I feel like this goes back to
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: having expectations for people.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: Like you be ahead for yourself, right. Me and Ron
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: have had this conversation many times.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: We're on a grill and everything we see some ship
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: different because we different women and we got our situations
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: are not the same, right, But what we have in
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: common is that we are single women who are mothers
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: who are not with the fathers about children. Right, So
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: what work for her may not work for me, and
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: vice versa. But I had to realize what my son's
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: father is SHAWNA, stop stop you angry?
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: You mad?
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: You cussing him out?
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: And he liked this ship. He think it's funny. He
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: thinks he because in his mind he getting he getting
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: a rise out of you. So in his mind, because
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: he's getting the rise out of you, you still give a fuck.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: From a female perspective, I heard it from both.
• 46:02
  Speaker 4: Tell you the thing.
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: If he still can ruffle your father the way he
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: ruffling with your father, how you just told this story, baby,
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: whatever feelings you got, please please And that's far because
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: the way your energy shift when you were found your
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: first talk about her, but when you start talking about him,
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: your energy.
• 46:21
  Speaker 5: Went because.
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: The reason and the reason why is because I know
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: where I'm gonna go now.
• 46:26
  Speaker 7: I have no physical attraction for him. But the situation
• 46:33
  Speaker 7: in itself, bitch, I didn't stand in your way. Why
• 46:37
  Speaker 7: standing in mind? They are and they're painful. You know
• 46:40
  Speaker 7: you how you're reacting and they're painful.
• 46:43
  Speaker 4: You know you can still do it.
• 46:44
  Speaker 7: But if I don't bother you, I don't this, this, that,
• 46:47
  Speaker 7: and the third. The only way you can get to
• 46:51
  Speaker 7: me is if you try.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: The situation is not the way you wanted to be,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: but the situation the way it actually is.
• 47:00
  Speaker 7: It's my fault because I wanted to asked him stepp
• 47:02
  Speaker 7: up because you were more stable than I was. But
• 47:05
  Speaker 7: in the same token, me coming from the background that
• 47:07
  Speaker 7: I came from and the type of person that I am,
• 47:10
  Speaker 7: and this that and the third, like my nigga, when
• 47:11
  Speaker 7: you were really at your lowest.
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: I didn't kick you, but just looking at it, looking
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: from you, the same thing. And here it is.
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: You have someone in your cables.
• 47:27
  Speaker 7: And he's not thing is I got it.
• 47:35
  Speaker 4: His whole thing changed.
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: I got it, you don't. But his in his case,
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: it was a never I got it.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: You don't think because I've always had it me personally,
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: I might have struggle with you.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: You know I was struggling.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: So if I call you and say your son needs something,
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: your son needs something, so they don't give you, and
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: his mind it gets him. Oh so you just ain't
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: got it. Oh so you need me.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: That's where.
• 48:02
  Speaker 7: From the ship that I went through as a kid,
• 48:04
  Speaker 7: I vowed that I never wanted to be like my parents.
• 48:07
  Speaker 5: And here it is.
• 48:07
  Speaker 7: I found myself in my mother's shoes. Difference between me
• 48:11
  Speaker 7: and her. I'm stuck here in my mind because I
• 48:13
  Speaker 7: refuse to let her go. I refuse to I refuse,
• 48:19
  Speaker 7: and I lived my life so long refusing to be
• 48:22
  Speaker 7: like them. Look what predicament I found myself. And that's
• 48:25
  Speaker 7: the real tool. If we're gonna keep it a buck,
• 48:27
  Speaker 7: and I'm gonna go ahead and put that out there.
• 48:29
  Speaker 7: And I never really wanted to admit that to myself,
• 48:32
  Speaker 7: but in this midst of this conversation, I can't help
• 48:34
  Speaker 7: not because honestly, when it comes to her that I
• 48:37
  Speaker 7: can care to fuck less. It's the similarities of my
• 48:41
  Speaker 7: mother's relationshipation myself right back in that situation with the
• 48:51
  Speaker 7: next generation, and in the midst of going through that
• 48:54
  Speaker 7: with him, I vowed that that ship is going.
• 48:56
  Speaker 5: To stop with me.
• 48:59
  Speaker 7: And it's hard and it hurt, and I can take
• 49:06
  Speaker 7: the judgment all day, but very real, motherfucker, say that
• 49:09
  Speaker 7: ship to my face.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: So truly feel but you're not now me.
• 49:12
  Speaker 7: I don't give a fuck if I'm gonna say, if
• 49:14
  Speaker 7: I can there was some type of way and I
• 49:15
  Speaker 7: see what I see, I'm gonna say it. I'm not
• 49:17
  Speaker 7: gonna be malicious about it, but I'm gonna speak it.
• 49:20
  Speaker 7: But to deal with life, m to deal with it
• 49:26
  Speaker 7: from her shoes in my life, coming up in it,
• 49:29
  Speaker 7: to now deal with it as an adult, to now
• 49:32
  Speaker 7: realize that in my family that this is a fucking thing.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: It's a cycle. Mm hmmm hm. To break cycle like that,
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: it's a cycle, and that takes me generation. But think
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: about it from this.
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: Perspective, it's hard, it's hard.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: Think about it from this respective, it's hard. My grandmother
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: was seventeen when she had She was seventeen when she
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: had my uncle. She was eighteen when she had my mother.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: She she married my grandfather, but she had children extremely young.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: My mother did too. My mother was about to turn seventeen.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: My mother had my sister at seventeen. She my grandma,
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: my younger aunt, my one aunt who's still living. She
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: had her first daughter at thirteen or fourteen.
• 50:16
  Speaker 5: Damn really yeah, My oldest.
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: Cousin is twenty years older than me. Wow, the oldest
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: grandchild is twenty years older than me. My mother's second
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: to last.
• 50:28
  Speaker 5: I turned twenty.
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm the second to last grandchild.
• 50:32
  Speaker 5: My birthday is the ninth. His birthday is twelve. She's
• 50:33
  Speaker 5: the seventeen.
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: But I say that, You said twenty, So I broke that.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: You broke that, but your brother didn't because he had
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: he had his first one at sixteen.
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: But again I said that start with me control. I
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: can't control.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: He has five. He had five before he turned thirty.
• 50:49
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, what you were saying, microphone?
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: Oh so nothing.
• 50:58
  Speaker 4: I was gonna say.
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: It's difference between you being as yourself an absent parent
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: and her thing of an absent parent. You are not
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: an absent hurt just as a little you are not.
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: No matter how much I feel like break that you
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: get with times that you want her around and she's
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: not around, you were not an absent parent.
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: A parent is a.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: Parent who literally don't give a fuck.
• 51:20
  Speaker 4: Right now, she wouldn't be here.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, don't give a fuck. That's that's what That's what
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: it is like. And you're making the effort. And the
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: one thing you can look forward to in the future
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: is when she is an adult, is she can sit
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: and have these types of conversations. She'll talk about her perspective.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: She may say I get it now that I'm older
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: and I have my own kids, but I can say
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: at least that you tried. You are whereas.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: Don't you never let nobody tell you nothing fucking different.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: Ever, because you look at your situation. We talked about
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: your mother earlier and the stuff that happened with your
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: mother when she was in her twenties and going through
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: dealing with her issues, and how she just.
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: She completely said fuck all of us left, dropped.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: This dropped them off at my mother's house. Was like,
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: I'll come but I feel like it. But I'm out
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: the street doing what I want to do when I
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: feel like it. You're at least making the effort, so
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: you have that is one cycle you have broken. And
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: that little girl love you, and give us yourself credit
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: for that because you may not see it now. But
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: as she gets older and y'all can sit and you
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: can pick her brain about how she feels about situations,
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: she may enlighten you about stuff that you don't even
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: realize that's happening right now.
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: And blow your mind. Because that that teenage conversation will blow.
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: You'll fit well, get in mine.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: I remember that they know.
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: We always paid attention to stuff happening around us, thinking
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: our parents didn't think we caught on too. It wasn't.
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: But you're sitting quite at the table, playing the game
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: on the gable being like mm hmm.
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: I had to I had to have a conversation with
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: my mother as adults about how I felt that she
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: put a lot on my shoulders when she was going
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: through whatever she was going through and she was out
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: there or whatever. That was a tough conversation to have,
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: and it came after a situation that happened that didn't
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: involve me, but I was put into the situation and
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: I didn't talk to my mother about a week or two. Now,
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: looking back, I kind of regret that, but I needed to.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you why, because in my mind, my
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: mind went here, you know, the ADHD mind went there.
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: What if something that would happened to my mother in
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: the two weeks and I wasn't speaking to her.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: That's where my mind went.
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: I was entitled, I know what you have to say
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: and get myself together because I could not deal with
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: her at that moment because of what she did and
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: the situation she put me into exactly. And that's why
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: I say it's better for me not to speak with you,
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: because I'm angry right now and I want to say
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: something to you as my father that I'm going to regret.
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to disrespect you like that because at
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: the end of the day, you gave me life.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: You're my mother. We went through what we went through,
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: we went through what we went.
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: Through, We had our issues, but at the end of
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: the day, you still my mother and you raised us
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: to the best of your ability.
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: There you had your you know, you had your your moments,
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: A lot of listen.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: But we we we went through some things and I
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: had to at that moment. There was the moment that
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: me and my mother needed to have their conversation. And
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: I waited for a while and I wrote down what
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: I wanted to say so I could get everything off
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: my chest, and I wrote that. I wrote it out,
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: and I sent it to her and I said what
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: I needed to say, and I got it off my
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: chests and it felt like a weight lifted off my chest.
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: Now she didn't initially take it up, take it well.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: But once again, I ain't speak for another couple of days,
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: and then we had a conversation and my mother actually
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: apologized to me. She didn't know I felt that way,
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: and she was sorry that I felt that way and
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: she never intended.
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: For me to feel that way.
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: So it I've said this before and I'll say it again.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: It is okay for a parent, as a parent to
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: apologize to your children because children, children are human feelings,
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: the emotions, and they don't know how to talk about
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: it the way that we may now, especially at you know.
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: Maybe her mecpool age or trades age.
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: And I had to have a conversation with my own
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: son one time because I know I had anger issues
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: and I would react and anger I would higher scring
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: foster Yo. And I got advice from a man who
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: said to me, Seanna, you need to sit down and
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: ask your son, do you he feel like you provide
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: him a safe space for him to express how he feel.
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: And that man said that to me, and I looked
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: at him, like, boy, fuck you what you mean?
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: But we said.
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: I sat and listened to him and we had that conversation.
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: He said, coming from a man, Sean, and I'm telling
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: you have that conversation with your son because he may
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: not feel safe based on your reaction. So I sat
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: down and I had that conversation with Tray. Now asked
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: him the question more than once. The first time I
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: asked him, he said yes. Then something else happening, and
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: I asked him again. He said, and he said, you
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: got to be prepared for the answer. This is what
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: the friend told me. You got to be prepared for
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: the answer. And he told me no, And I said why.
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: He said, because sometimes Mom, you get angry and you yelling,
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: you screamed, and I don't know how to respond to that,
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: so I'll be scared to tell you stuff because I
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: don't know how you're gonna react. I had to eat
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: that ship. I had to eat that because you're right,
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: and I did. I broke down, my ugly cried, I'm
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: by Ola David and David by Ola Davids and this
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: bitch with the bubbles not coming out you and I
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: and I apologize to my son and I said, I
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: didn't know I was that bad. I am so sorry,
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: I said, but you need to know that I ain't
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: nobody else gonna.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: Fight for you. I'm gonna fight for you to the
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: death of me today. Put me in a fucking box
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: and bury men this think about the amount of apologies
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: from our parents that we want and never got because
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: they didn't have the bandwidth or because they had their
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: own traumas. That you think about now, How us as
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: again speaking in terms of elder millennials, how we've gone
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: to therapy and we've seen a lot of things play out,
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: and we have the language and to know how to
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: talk about these types of things. We know damn well,
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: our parents weren't having these conversations with their parents thirty.
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: Years to that mix though parents was raised also on
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: top of it, besides their parents not have emotional stimulation
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: the time that they were raised in going on going
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: on at the same time, So use almost people that
• 57:41
  Speaker 3: don't have emotional intelligence at all having.
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: Kids and babies out left the.
• 57:49
  Speaker 4: Figure out why we fucked up.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: Mine. Goot, uncle's got six damn kids.
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: Because it was a bunch of they was out there
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: living their best life.
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: Fucking on and in any and everything. Yes, I still
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: got cousins I haven't met yet.
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: No, but it's a good conversation to have because I
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: feel like one thing we can say, one thing we
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: can't say as elder millennials is the fact that we
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: can we can have these conversations with each other and
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: with our children about things we've gone through, situations the
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: way things turned out. And I had to tell my mother,
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: and I was grateful for the fact that before she
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: passed she went to therapy with me.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: We've talked about this on the podcast. Before we went
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: to she my mother became to therapy with me. Sorry,
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: and I had to tell her about certain things that
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: happened in my childhood that in the grand scheme of
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: things weren't bad, but it affected me in a way
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: to where I was like, look, you've forced me to
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: do this as a kid, and it was something I
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: didn't want to do and it affected me negatively. And
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: she was like, well it wasn't like that, And I said,
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: you're not listening. You're responding, but you're not listening.
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: You're listening to responding and listening to understanding.
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: Right, listen, baby, this fight that I had with my
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: mother and like we gotta now, but that in between,
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: you're talking about a person who mother died at ten.
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: Father was a military raising you. All you had was
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: men raising you with no emotions.
• 59:15
  Speaker 4: In her life.
• 59:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, trying to get have to say she's sorry for
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: something happened. I don't remember that. That's the worst stuff.
• 59:23
  Speaker 3: That is the worst that's happening.
• 59:25
  Speaker 4: Yes, ma'am, that happened.
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: It's two of us telling me make the substance.
• 59:29
  Speaker 5: I make this up.
• 59:30
  Speaker 7: I had to have that conversation with my father and
• 59:33
  Speaker 7: he was like, I didn't do that, you got. I
• 59:35
  Speaker 7: made a song about it cause Fred and I was saying,
• 59:37
  Speaker 7: you know, the lyrics was remembering the day's coldus knights
• 59:40
  Speaker 7: in my home, watching Daddy do a line while these
• 59:42
  Speaker 7: bitches are gone in the room under my bed where
• 59:45
  Speaker 7: I most felt at home prayer until a little one
• 59:47
  Speaker 7: day I see a fish.
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: She got me home and he heard it and.
• 59:51
  Speaker 5: He was like, take that down.
• 59:52
  Speaker 7: I ain't you got people asking me if that was real.
• 59:55
  Speaker 7: We ain't know that about you. No, I'm not taking
• 59:57
  Speaker 7: it down because that that's really nice.
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: How express my You can't you can't tell me how
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: to deal with what you did trauma?
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 7: If this is the way that I got to make
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 7: peace with it? Because my uncle verified. He said you
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 7: wouldn't talk to nobody. He says, you're walking around with
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 7: a fucking notebook in the pintil because you were so
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 7: stand off for what was going on in your life
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 7: that the only way people can talk to you if
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 7: you did not feel safe, they had.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 5: To write to you in a notebook.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 7: I didn't know what it is, but it was that
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 7: bad because honestly, prior to me, I was only supposed
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 7: to be going for a weekend. I never came back
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 7: to Baltimore. I did not know them fucking people. So
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 7: the only way that you were going to talk to me,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 7: you had to write to me, because I'm asterat you
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 7: while you talk.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: I never got to have that conversation with my father,
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: probably get to.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 7: His death because I was and he did apologize because
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 7: it sounds like it took me. I just said my
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 7: dad two years ago.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: He would deny everything.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: And it waits me off. But had that conversation with
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: my father, right, my father was clean when he passed away.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: I was out of a little wei but you know,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: but we don't we don't care. Yeah, a little he was,
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: you know, clean because my father was a former added
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: to a former dealer, all of that South back in
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: the day, was in jail most of my childhood until
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: I was a little older. I think, I think I
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: remember my father being out of jail. I was about
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: fifth sixth grade, I think. And I remember fifth grade
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: because he was in my graduation picture. That's the reason
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: I remember. There's a reason I remember, and I remember,
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: you know that I never got to expressed to him
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: what he said did to me or didn't do to me,
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: or how he wasn't you know, for me in a
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: way that one of my famia you know, needed him
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: to be or whatever. I never got to have that conversation.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: That's one of the main things that I had to
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: talk to my therapist about when I it took me
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: six months or therapy sessions to not cry in that
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: woman's office to you. No, I'm just saying that to
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: be able to talk and not break down, break.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: Down right right.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: It took me that long, and I remember her, And
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: it's crazy because my key gave me the same advice
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: to write a letter of everything I needed to say
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: to him and take it to his grade and either
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: read it to him and then take it and burn
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: it or whatever I chose to do.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: And I had that same conversation with my therapist.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: She was like, write out how you feel, what you
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: need to get off your chest and write it to
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: him dead daddy blah blah blah blah blah blah, and
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: get it off your chest, right. And I ended up
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: writing that shut out and how I felt. And then
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: one day I sat in the room by my damn sulf.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: If somebody would have walked in there with the thought
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: I was fucking crazy because I was sitting there having
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: a whole goddamn conversation with myself. I promised you I
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: was getting shipped off my chance because I had to
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: in order for me to move on. Because you gone,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: you dead and gone. I can't bring you back. I
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: can't I can't do none of that and have this conversation.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 4: I can't use that.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 3: So you used that for the person that's actually dead
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 3: in real life. But what about the relationships that have died.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 7: You could just actively on a spiritual level.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 5: You could do the same thing.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 3: But do we I do if we want something too long,
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: we don't do it always.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 7: But if I'm holding onto something too long and it's
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 7: affected me too much and I can't take it no more,
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 7: I'm gonna write that person a letter. And I haven't
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 7: put everything in that letter that I feel, and then
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 7: I made. People called it an altar, but I don't.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 7: It's like a homage to those who are gone. That's
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 7: my safe space. I go sit there. I try to meditate.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 7: I go sit there when I need to just think.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 7: I go sit there and I talk to the pictures
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 7: of the people that passed on because they're not here.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 7: That I can talk to my favorite person who was
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 7: born on my day, that before I even got the
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 7: chance to really.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: Talk to her.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 5: I mean, like as an adult talked to her.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: She was gone.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 7: That's my aunt, sharing and she was that's my aunt.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 7: She listen, she was hell on feet and she shoot
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 7: you it was to the point where, now, granted did
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 7: she and burn the food and make me eat it,
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 7: but she gives me.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 5: Her husband.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 7: I was the only one that was allowed to sit
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 7: there run.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 3: Couldn't cook for ship, could not cook for ship. But
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: realist mother will ketch up. Said she's gonna burn everything
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 3: if she.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 7: Cook it, but you're gonna put ranch on it, or
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 7: you're gonna put ketchup on it.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: And burnt food make you pretty.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 7: And bird food make you pretty.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 3: That was her thing on her diad her visited.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 7: Yes, that's what she said, bood make you pre that
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 7: was her thing. She couldn't cook, but she had a
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 7: good excuse, birnt food make you pretty. And but she
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 7: was the realest fucking one.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm, realist one.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: She didn't give a damn how old we was. She
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: didn't give a what.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 5: Was on her life.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 7: I don't know her vices, didn't know her vices, still
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 7: don't know her vices.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 3: All I know is that she will fucking shoot you.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 7: And she burnt the food and put branch on it,
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 7: ketchup and burnt food made you pretty. She loved me
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 7: like no other because she knew that I was the
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 7: only one that was not raised.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: I was the only one.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 7: Everybody else you can go in there and me, come
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 7: on abby, She babied me. But I think it's because
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 7: we had the same exact birthday.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: And it was also a thing of she knew your
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: mother because that was the they all had kids. We're
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: talking about back to back as teenagers. I'm number number
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: eighteen of nineteen and I came back. It was a.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 7: Gap between me and him are six months apart.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: I was the second, so my cousin Taylor was born.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: I was the youngest grandchild for sixteen years. She's the
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: first great grandchild, and we six months apart in age.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 7: I was the oops you were here, And as my
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 7: grandmother's giving birth to him, my mother found out she
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 7: was pregnant.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 6: Me.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 7: Yeap, my grandmother had them. I was the only one
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 7: removed six months apart. We got a picture of us
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 7: at my two year old birthday, me and him standing
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 7: in the same chair.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 3: Were small as ship and not.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 7: My favorite picture we should create.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 3: I said, we're going down.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 4: What's the little bit the big beach chairs?
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: No, it was like it was it was like a
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: wooden huge, real big.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 7: That might work, but it's one of the next thing
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 7: that might a senior frogs.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 3: Okay, so got to recreate that picture.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: I'm damn, I'm down. We might.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 5: That too.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: I mean I just did a picture like that with
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: the tray and my niece.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 2: I made them recreate a picture from when it was
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: little little ship. Was so funny I got it in
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: my phone some God damn, that was a funny. As
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: I will say that, I'm grateful, and I think I
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: touched on this earlier. I'm grateful that we are able
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: to sit and have these types of conversations as we
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: are adults, and we me not yet God will, and
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 2: I will have children on my own one day.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 5: I hope.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: So because I listen, we can have these conversations amongst ourselves,
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: but also talk to our parents and say, look, you
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: may not have had the language or to know how
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: to deal with your ship, but you not know how
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: to deal with your ship affected me in this way,
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: in this way, Your your mother or parents raising your
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: way they did or didn't affected me in this way,
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: and this is what it.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: Is, and that toxic matriarchy.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 7: Ship is definitely a family generations. Our the majority of
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 7: the women and our family had kids young, was abused
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 7: in some type of way, it was treated in some
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 7: type of way, had great livelihoods.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 5: But were all poor. Yep, my grandmother had got so
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 5: many accolades.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 3: I have No, I don't have.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: Anything anything that.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 3: Listen, that's a good thing, because you would know it's
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: it's a good thing. I'm happy for you. Listen.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 7: I'm usually when people, when I meet other black women
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 7: or just people period, that's in my shoes and they
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 7: don't get it. I usually get upset because there don't
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 7: get it because they're judging the fact that, oh, well,
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 7: your parents was this and that, and the third third
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 7: like you don't know how blessed you are.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: And I will saying from my perspective, I did not
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: meet people. It wasn't. It wasn't until I went to
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: college and was like, but you have an uncle on drugs,
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: you put your parents on drugs. No, but you had
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: no drugs.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 5: As much as it's not amongst.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: The world, it's you grew up in Baltimore, and you're
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: so in this.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 5: World when you meet people here, it's not like that.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: It's like, so you grew up in the house both
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: of your parents and both of your parents professionals, and
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: you up in the suburbs and had your own bedroom
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: and it was just you, your parents and the siblings.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 3: And yeah, you grew up in all of these organizations
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 3: and did all these extracurricular activities, and you can't identify
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 3: with me because what this that's crazy because like I'm saying,
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, but it's not normal. I've had, like
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 3: my family has issues, but I'm gonna go ahead and
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 3: enjoy my issue. Y'all keep y'all because y'all's is a
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 3: whole different level.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: But it's also from that same perspective talking about her issues.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: Her mother is my older sister, so I grew up
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: in the house.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 4: You got a different viewpoint.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: I have a totally, totally different viewpoint because of the
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: fact that she just talked about how you know, my
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: mother was seventeen when she had her mother. My mother
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: was thirty six when she had me. My mother was working.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: She Oh, my god, my mother was thirty six. She
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: was already years into her career at that point. She
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: was established. She had the wherewith aal to know, like
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: imagine golf of bitch. She would do it. She'd look
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: at me sideways. But it's shown I had a baby now,
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: that child's experience totally different from the experience that Trey
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: had growing up, and I had that that was the
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 1: mother I grew up with and then until she took
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: in my nieces and nephews, but we didn't because my
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: experience my childhood was different because even though y'all were
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: in the same house, I was with my mother, y'all
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: were with your grandmother and growing up in that type
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: of environment, my situation on my life circumstance is totally
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: different from y'all.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 5: The only one that turned out on a straight path.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: I joked about this before, and I'm gona say it
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: got on the podcast. My mother saiding I had three
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: fucking children. One is in damn jail, the other one's
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: a damn drug addy. The worst thing somebody could say
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: about you is that you gave that's real.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 5: Ship's fun and traumatic to hear. It is traumatic to hear,
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 5: but that's that's true.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: I think I could deal with that.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 3: I was like, well, Ship, but that's truth.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 7: Though Trueman, as fucked up as it may sound, that's
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 7: really her true.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 3: Ye got a different version of my father than I did, absolutely,
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 3: because he met my father when he was on the
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 3: street and narrow right, So whenever we fuss about my father,
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 3: what you mean here a good man?
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: He good man.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 4: I'm looking at him like.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: Sorry, nigga.
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 3: Now, nigga, you don't really know him.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 4: No, they know him now.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 3: You don't know him before you know you know him
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 3: back then. You know him because you're my older brother,
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 3: so you know him in his good years. What I
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 3: got ain't the same thing, my nigga. But that's the
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 3: part of the day.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: That's how I feel about You didn't get the version
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: of had a different version of my phone.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 3: Oh I seen him, you ain't gonna be twenty years.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 4: I'm not not looking at him. Were good.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know that, nigga exactly.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: But it's true. Everybody gets a different version. You want
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 3: to deal with it.
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 7: But see, unfortunately me and all my siblings, we all
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 7: got the same version. The only person that's getting anything
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 7: different as my little brother, and unfortunately he's already a
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 7: lost cause, been a lost cause. But he also has
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 7: now a different version of my mom. None of us
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 7: ain't never had her clean. She's only been clean for
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 7: half of my child's life.
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 3: But you know what's funny, well, not funny, but revelation
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 3: moment about it. You say, your brother's a lost cause.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 3: But this is the only child that got her in
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 3: her clean form. She getting back the energy that she
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 3: put out there. There's a lot of ways that she is, Yes,
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 3: she is. We don't understand it.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 7: And the messed up part about it is, even though
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 7: she's clean, her mentality ain't no different.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: Of course it isn't. So she my sister, has her
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: own traumas that she has never dealt with and she
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: refuses to deal with, none of which I will go
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: into on this platform because it's not my business to
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: share my story to tell out of respect for her
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: and I talk I talked about her all the time.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk about it, even to her face. She
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: at them.
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 5: She says, just to be mad.
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: But she has a lot of traumas and stuff that
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: happened in her own life that she never got the
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: chance to process or deal with, and as a result
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: of that, it basically I can't say it was the
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: impetus or catalyst for her to turn off the way
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: she did, but it was a lot of like the
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: basis or root cause to lead her down those paths,
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: through those doors into meeting and dealing with those types
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: of people that led her to it. She ultimately into.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 5: That absolutely and she don't get it.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: Like but unfortunately at her age, some people.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 3: Know is a statement it's uncompromisable.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 7: I think more so is that because they say, you
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 7: can't teach your old dog new tricks, but you can
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 7: if you're consistent.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: But it's all instance of when you know better, you
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: do better. And if you don't know better, know that you.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: And I've come to this realization about your younger brother.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 7: If you don't know better, you can't do better. But
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 7: if you know better and choose not to do better.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 6: You.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: Because what what does it mean if somebody keeps consistently
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: tries to show you and teach you and give you
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: and do things for you, and if you're not open
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: to well, you don't think you're worth that effort. It's
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: gonna go in one day and out the other, or
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: over your.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 8: Heads going on because walla wall, Like I don't think
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 8: that they understand.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 7: Like my mother has this sense of entiding with where
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 7: I'm your mother, Yes you gave birth to us, yes
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 7: you did you you definitely physically had us, But what
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 7: your mother and mom exactly what mother, and did you
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 7: do because me as an adult, now that you're trying
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 7: to be my mom, it ain't gonna work, baby, because
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 7: unfortunately I already came up and grew up and had
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 7: to go through life the way I went through life.
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 5: So the thing that you I can.
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: Hear you out.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 3: I don't need you to be my mother or my
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 3: mom at this point.
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 5: I know who you are.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 7: But when I really needed you, you're not there. I'm
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 7: accustomed to you already not being there. So I'm gonna
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 7: go ahead and do whatever it is I'm gonna do now.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 7: I made the dumbness mistake and come back here. I
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 7: didn't have to come back here. I didn't have to,
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 7: but I really wanted to get to know her. And
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 7: sometimes I regret it. Sometimes I don't, but I feel
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 7: like there were lessons that I needed.
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: Do you realize that she also had the same decision,
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: that she made the same exact decision and where she wounded. Yep.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: We moved to Chicago when.
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 5: I really want not to come back when Nana came back.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: We moved to Chicago in two thousand and next Nick nine,
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: my mother, my mother let my step off.
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 5: For them three years. That's only.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: We moved to Illinois, to Chicago, and my sister came
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: to my mother. She had been used and drugs for years,
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: but she got clean, got her a job. She was
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: a CNA working at.
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 5: That working good.
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 1: She clean for years. She got married. You know, they
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: had a stepfather. They got their own place. My sister
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: was living doing her thing. My mother said, in two
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: thousand and three, two thousand and two, and we were
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: back here in three, Yeah, we were work here. I
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: told her, no, no.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 7: It was we moved back in over too, because by
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 7: that summer or that year that I started, I wanted
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 7: to go to wool one with you, and they wouldn't
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 7: put me in wool one.
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 5: They sent me to Northwestern.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 7: I stopped going Northwestern because unfortunately she's fell into always.
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 3: And I went and got the job so I can
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 3: take care of kids.
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So yeah, we moved back to Baltimon two thousand
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: and two.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 3: Two thousand and two, my grandmother stopped that.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 6: She came.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 3: I went back to Connecticut, my mother.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 5: My mother graduated my right year because I feel freshman year.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: Twice my mother, my mother told my sister, you do
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: not have to come back to Baltimore with me, I'm
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: going back because my mother's grandmother was had just passed.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: She was ninety two ninety three. She passed and they
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: bought her, brought her back to Baltimore to bury her.
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: And she said, I tired of living in the Chicago,
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: way from my mother, my siblings. I want to go back.
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that was my baby.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: So she told my sister, you are married, you have
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: a life, you have your children here, but you stay
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: here in Chicago with your husband. You're doing good. There's
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 1: no reason I want to come back with you. And
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: literally the moment touched within within six months, my sister
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: back in what she was.
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 3: Doing before, and I quit school. I was playing basket was.
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: It was to the point where my school, my brother
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: in law had been clean for about fifteen years at
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: that point, he started getting using drugs and selling drugs.
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 7: And when I seen it happening, I dropped out of basketball.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 7: And I was to the point where the coaches and
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 7: then was working with me, and I was getting so
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 7: good that I had colleges looking at me and mind you,
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 7: I was repeating my freshman year for the second time.
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: And it got to a point where my sister was
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: being herself and it got involved with another dude and
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: they they fought, and my brother in law was like, girl,
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: fuck you, fuck it, I'm out. He left the bag
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: to Chicago.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 7: I stopped going to school, I stopped playing sports, and
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 7: I went and got my first job at McDonald's. Because
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 7: I had siblings and as the eldest, the weight fellow.
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 3: On my shoulder.
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 7: So I was working to make sure shit was taking
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 7: care of doing shit. I ain't had no business holding drugs,
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 7: holding guns, and the house hiding. I'm stashing money just
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 7: so I can make sure everybody in the house my
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 7: siblings was good. When she found out that I had
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 7: all that money in there, she went in my room,
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 7: ramsack my room, stole everything I had from you, Jesus everything, Honestly.
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 7: When I came back to help her and got pregnant,
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 7: I had so much money and change because this little
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 7: girl was coming. One day I came home that shit
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 7: was empty, and they still wanted me to pay.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 3: I had to drop out of school again. My great Luckily,
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 3: I got a family that I got that was able
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 3: to pitch in and get me right. But I promised
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 3: I would never be back in that situation ever again.
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 3: And it ain't happened that Sometimes your circumstance is something
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 3: that you you either repeat it again.
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 1: Or you get you learn from a lesson, learn from
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: learn from it. You learn from it and keep it moving.
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and it's crazy because learning them lessons they painful,
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 7: they hurt, they hurt, and choosing not to do the
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 7: same thing again, even though you make that choice, it
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 7: does not change the fact that you still gotta go
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 7: through to grow through.
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 3: Sometimes to put you in that position all over again,
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 3: because you still you still don't you stupid?
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 2: All right, But.
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 5: Since you won't go backwards, here you go, we're gonna
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 5: go take your change.
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 3: The color has changed. It's now purple. Now now keep
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 3: playing that is gonna be to go next.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 4: No, now it's two of them instead of one. Is
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 4: too man, because you still line of that, you still
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 4: on one line.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 5: You still want to keep.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 7: Oh you got this amart, but you kind of want
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 7: to figure right here you got to give you through
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 7: more issues.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 4: It's the same. It's the same issue.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 3: Now if you're gonna figure out how to resolve the issue,
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 3: are you're gonna take them long steps what you took
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 3: before and drag through it and fight through it and
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 3: do all this, or you're gonna say, oh wait a minute,
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 3: I know how I get out of this.
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: But that's that's the story of life. You learn lessons
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 1: and you go through things.
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 5: It's the constant fight for better.
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 3: So you decide if you're gonna keep repeating that cycle,
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 3: just like when we're talking about.
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: What dayton you keep the same. It's a lesson for
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 1: you to learn. Learn the lesson you ran away from it.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: Run away from this a lesson you gotta go through.
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 5: All right, I'm gonna tap your hand.
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 2: You ain't learning.
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna smack you again, but this time it's gonna
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 3: be something a little bit harder.
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 2: You learn this time something sometimes to take his snding
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 2: slap to the back of your fucking neck like last time.
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 3: He's gonna do a chunk.
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 8: Chunk.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 4: Listen, I keep trying to get you out of this
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 4: and stop you from doing this, and.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 2: You keep doing it.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, But since you want to cool back, I'm gonna
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: give everything to go.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 3: Since you don't want to come, get what I got
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 3: for you here, right, he will go ahead.
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 6: Damn.
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 4: I read this book.
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 7: I figure it, and I figure it out when you're ready,
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 7: and I gonna when you're ready, because you're gonn get
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 7: to what I needed you to be.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 5: Now they got my attention again, come.
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 3: On to listen, I said about you got it's not
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 3: Let that man control your emotions the moment you start
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 3: let him control your emotions. Watch, it's gonna be a
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 3: whole different world for you.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 4: It's gonna be it's gonna be hard.
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be.
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 7: It's hard because I see it, because certain ship, I
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 7: don't even react to.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 5: No more like I learned and not argue with him.
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 7: I can't what I had to learn as the fact
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 7: that like listening me answering my own question. Again, I
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 7: never I never did my freshman and sophomore year. Never nowhere.
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 7: I tested into my grade easily. Ain't been, ain't study,
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 7: ain't nothing. I just went out here and just took
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 7: the test, and I just answered with whatever my gut fell.
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 7: I passed that motherfucking test with flying colors. So now
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 7: that I know that, oh, don't react, listen to heret
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 7: don't react. Let them mark you by yourself, let them
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 7: be done by yourself, because I cannot teach someone who
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 7: does not comprehend mm hmm. Further than what they comprehend.
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 7: I can't give you a perception or understanding that you
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 7: just don't have the capacity to hold.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 5: That's not my fucking job at all.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 7: I don't know why I was made the way that
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 7: I was made, but it's a reason for me to
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 7: be here. So okay, coo back. If I passed that test,
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 7: and I know that I did that with no studying,
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 7: stop studying something to try to fix it, that's right.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 2: Somebody once said to me, it is not your business
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 2: how other people feel about you at all.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: Are you sure you might have?
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 2: I don't remember, because it was that kind.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 4: I don't give a fuck.
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 1: I don't care.
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 2: It's no, it's not. It's nobody's business. How I mean,
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 2: it's not your business how other people feel about you,
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 2: how they perceive you, how they see you, and.
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 4: Because you can.
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 1: Find something wrong.
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 2: And that's another reason I'm not arguing with you. I'm
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 2: not going back and forth. You feel how you feel,
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 2: I feel how I feel that.
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 3: The only person I'm arguing back is with is somebody
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 3: that I we. You either came out of my vagina.
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 1: Or you've been in it, and I ain't don't think
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: I'm going back.
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 4: Will we currently.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 3: If you're currently the one that's dipping THEBB I might
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 3: have to argument you every now and then because you
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 3: got a child. If I feel like I want to
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 3: make it work, let me all right, let's have this
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 3: conversation and I and figure out.
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 1: What's wrong, and had this debate.
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 3: We're done.
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 4: We don't agree, but we're done.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 3: Okay, next you.
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 1: Right, I'm wrong. Okay, that's not fair. I'm tired. I
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: am I No, no, I I don't want to go
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: back and forth with people. No, God damn more.
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 2: I'm not in the business of trying to change your perception.
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 2: You don't have to or how you feeling me. I
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 2: respect your opinion, you respect mine, and let's move on.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 2: But the only so I'm not going to keep it.
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 3: So it's not argument depending on let me for the
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 3: dependent the person, it's not an argument. If you'll both
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 3: see two different viewpoints, you can have an honest conversation
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 3: about it, disagree, but you're agreed to disagree because that
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 3: is a solution.
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, like we did earlier.
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 3: But when you say I'm gonna arguing with you, it's
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 3: that's a brush off. That's a brush off. If you
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: just say I'm not doing this with you and this
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 3: brush it off. Now you're still upset because you ain't
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 3: got what you wanted to get off your chest. They
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 3: still upset because they ain't got off what they got
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 3: off their chest. So that's time the piece of pencils
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 3: on the floor, y'all blew up over the pencil on
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 3: the floor versus this conversation.
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 4: Why the fuck neither one of y'all wanted.
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 1: To have before none.
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 5: That's facts.
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 3: It's hard being emotionally and knowing your emotion that's hard.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 2: But it's a very very emotional person cancer should be.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 1: But it's a part of growing up, and it's the
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 1: part of getting older and having the emotional intelligence. Having
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 1: the emotional intelligence and being able to have these conversations
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: is important because it also changes It breaks a pattern
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: where our parents didn't or couldn't have these cops of
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: conversations with us. Like I said earlier, y'all and me
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: in the fuse, will be able to have our conversations
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 1: with about our children to try to help them grow
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 1: way younger, way earlier than we could.
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 3: Know that.
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 7: You know, it's not supposed to be knowing that you
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 7: know she is here, but I know that she's listening
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 7: on this particular conversation because I called her looking like
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 7: and she's taking it all in and I know it's
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 7: like it's on her mind. Even if she don't say nothing,
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 7: even if we don't address it.
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 3: She heard.
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 1: She's absorbed.
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 5: It's just like wait a minute, you know, yeah, And
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 5: it's just like is open.
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 7: This is the so this is what must of whatever
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 7: is being said around her in the midst right and.
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 5: Whatever she said around her title.
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 4: Es you got say it right though, and it's like
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 4: a long pause.
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 1: That cheese.
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 7: In the midst of what's going on or whatever is
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 7: being said around her about certain situations and things of
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 7: that nature, and this one she gets the actually away.
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 4: Always positive.
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 7: You see, I'm not gonna say I won't speak negative
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 7: about on both sides.
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 4: For you, in for him, for you, for him. Now
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 4: you're struggling with it, right you.
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 7: For him, fair for you, in for him, fair, fair, fair,
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 7: because sometimes the other side the evils when of me
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 7: wants to stab back. But if I'm going and I'm
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 7: trying to show her that regardless of anyone.
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 3: Says made that like two weeks ago, it was good
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 3: bake z d.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 5: Canoles and.
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 10: Flying but you don't know what's the other one. Just
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 10: ship God damn it, never mind, that's what I'm trying
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 10: to say.
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 4: I couldn't get it.
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 1: I can go for some readers right now.
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 5: Stupid.
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 1: It was. It's been a heavy conversation.
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 9: What that.
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 1: Crazy, I'm crazy ANTIPASTI pursqutt. That's that's that's that's that's
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 1: the way you cook.
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 7: That's brisquett, that's what that's how you say salmon, salmon.
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 11: Settle, spaghetti sauce, not spaghetti sauce, ragoon, mem that totally.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 1: Salami pepperoni. Because that's not about how my dogs ran
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: over here. Because like I'm a ready cook.
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 5: Oh they sound good?
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 3: That sound real good? Does it does?
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 6: Oh?
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 1: I'm a ready cook.
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 4: Okay, damn it?
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 5: What was I forgot what was.
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 1: Right there?
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 7: Because that was needed for that moment, because like you
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 7: told me, positive on both sides, it is what it is.
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 5: I can't control them, Jesus, I don't argue, I don't fuss.
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 2: I don't have time. The last text accent was listening,
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 2: I paid for the cruise by his stuff for the
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 2: cruise because I wasn't even going to tell you that.
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: My mother was like no, you paid for this vacation.
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 2: He can get him some stuff for the vacation message
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 2: and I did, and he actually agreed.
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 1: I said, oh that's but you know what the good
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 1: thing A part of that conversation about what that is.
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 1: So now I'm homengry again.
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 4: No, it's wedding wedding soup min it's strong, But who
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 4: owns that?
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: I got a recipe on my phone? I'm making it.
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 3: Question, yes, because you just brung it up when you
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 3: said this. If one parent is playing the vacation, is
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 3: it the other parents responsibilities to pay for anything since
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 3: they're taking them on the vacation.
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 1: No, I wouldn't say it is, but it's nice I.
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 6: Did.
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 2: It actually ended up working like okay, and he did
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 2: end up getting them some stuff. But if he hadn't,
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 2: it wouldn't have mad it, not like two days before
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 2: I asked him buff so positive and if you couldn't
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 2: have got it, I would let me know what you
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 2: can't get so I can get it.
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 1: And that was it.
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 3: So suppose he would have to say no if you
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 3: would have said would okay?
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 1: So it was going to happen. Do we have any
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 1: final words for this? Very interesting?
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 6: Oh?
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 1: Go ahead. I'm sorry we started talking about Italian food
• 1:31:09
  Speaker 1: and distracted. I'm sorry.
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 3: I only feel like I'm saying no. And I say
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 3: no because with regards in regards to what the parent
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 3: other parent paying for stuff when the other parent is
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 3: taking on vacation. And I only say that because so
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 3: I suppose you can't. You can't get ed to you
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 3: because they can't. I suppose you just don't want to.
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 3: I suppose you do your own.
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 7: Trip at the end of the day. If that's the case,
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 7: to carry it. When you do your trip, carry it.
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 7: That would be an equal give and take in the
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 7: perfect world.
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: That's fair. That's a fair.
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 4: Bred wine. Mm hmm, no white wine. It's better.
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 1: Meat. That's not specific. The type of red wine lam
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 1: bruce scores, the type of red wine, the type I
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 1: used to like, Lambruge. That's a good wine. Procco is
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 1: an Italian.
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 3: Read I read it and said.
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: You exacted it before you said boom ship boot excrements.
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 2: If you if you didn't listen, can we go with
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 2: the excrement again?
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 4: Boot excrement estimate over the place. They escalated everywhere this ship?
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 1: What what movie was? That was it? It was Bob
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 1: Saget what what it was a parody movie? He did,
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 1: It's shipped on the walls, It's shipped on the floor,
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 1: this ship on the couch, ship everywhere. Oh my god,
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 1: the movie was ship.
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 2: I don't remember Brandon literally Extra Men.
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 4: Yes, why I wanted to say Tom bigod Nights, but
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 4: that is not it.
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 3: It gets to people going.
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 1: It's ship on the walls, the dumb and dumber.
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 3: There you go, it's ship.
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 4: I knew it was one of these stupid ones.
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, So are we Are we done
• 1:33:26
  Speaker 1: with this conversation?
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 6: Yes?
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 7: Honestly, I think I thank y'all for this one, because
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 7: again I don't These are things that I sit back
• 1:33:34
  Speaker 7: and fight myself with, and when you have to go
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 7: through them type of battles, it's hard because you don't
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 7: know where right is right, wrong is wrong, or median
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 7: is a median. So for the first time I actually
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 7: got to really just go ahead and share my story,
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 7: and I appreciate the space to do so the conversation
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 7: let us there, and I was like, you know what,
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 7: fuck it because I wonder because I know what I
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 7: get faced with.
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 5: So I appreciate all he off of being here today
• 1:33:59
  Speaker 5: for this particular.
• 1:34:01
  Speaker 1: No problem, glad we could be of service.
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 3: Listen, they got me to see something differently.
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 1: And sometimes all you need is to shift shifting perspective.
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 5: You gotta stay positive, positive, sk.
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 6: You me.
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: This is on for the episode be to mystic. They're
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 1: gonna be looking like why the hell is the episode
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 1: titled Motzirella dot dot dot Optimistic by the Sounds of
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 1: Black Morella. All right, so let's take a commercial break
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 1: and we're gonna being questions this episode. Okay, ship alloyed?
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 4: Can we not do the six?
• 1:34:59
  Speaker 1: I cannot confirm with We're gonna take another commercial break.
• 1:35:03
  Speaker 1: Well hopefully an of us have to fit some extras
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: in because yeah, we'll be right back and we're back.
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 1: What's up?
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 6: Just that?
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 7: And that?
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 2: So before we get started, y'all, If y'all have any questions,
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 2: any comments, rants, topic ideas, or just some shit that
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 2: you want to say, you can reach us via email.
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 2: We are asked one to part at gmail dot com.
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 2: That is a s k W A N D A
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 2: p O D at gmail dot com. You can also
• 1:35:35
  Speaker 2: reach us via social media. We are want to end
• 1:35:38
  Speaker 2: all as to the podcast on UH, Facebook and YouTube,
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 2: and we are one depart underscore on the clock at
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 2: aka TikTok, on Twitter, ak a X and on I
• 1:35:54
  Speaker 2: g let us know if you want to use a pseudonym,
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 2: if you want to be anonymous, if you want to
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 2: use first name, less initial, vice versa, or just your initials,
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 2: or if you don't give a damn because in the
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 2: words of Charade Whitfield circa two thousand, thirteen fourteen something,
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 2: probably to all the surgeries and whatnot. And you know,
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 2: back when she let Phaedier represent her in courtant she
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 2: lost the ball with Field.
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 1: Sorry, who's gonna check you? Boom? Sorry, check and everything.
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 6: So she was alive.
• 1:36:35
  Speaker 2: She's still stelling she by she So they didn't check out.
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 1: You are not okay? Y'all?
• 1:36:49
  Speaker 2: All right, we are going to start shut up. We're
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 2: starting on Reddit. And because we've been talking about you know, relationships, family,
• 1:37:00
  Speaker 2: all that good shit. This question actually comes from the
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 2: ex women thread, but it is a universal damn question,
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 2: so I'm gonna make it for everybody. What is your
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 2: bare minimum in a relationship? What your bare minimum bareum
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 2: in relationship?
• 1:37:18
  Speaker 1: Consistency, communication effort, and just in general those three community, communication, consistency, well,
• 1:37:28
  Speaker 1: consistency and effort. You know, you could be consistently bad communication, consistency,
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 1: and you make effort to improve the relationship, and that
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 1: goes for platonic, romantic, or any type of relationship. I
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 1: like it, Ebo.
• 1:37:45
  Speaker 3: I mean, if we were answering this question, honestly, I never.
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 5: Had a.
• 1:37:51
  Speaker 1: There's always a price for now now here we are.
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 7: I literally was going through life expecting people for the
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 7: way there was because bare minimum expectation. It was never
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 7: something that was set for you. You didn't buy anyone
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 7: in my life, so I did not know. Now as
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 7: an adult, I agree with the ones that you said.
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 7: But honesty is definitely a thing.
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 1: Look because you gotta be honest honestly to get honesty,
• 1:38:27
  Speaker 1: chasing mellow.
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 5: Stupid honestly has to be a thing that's.
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 1: Gonna be shown. But she finally kicked me, Aaron off
• 1:38:35
  Speaker 1: the show. You'll be sitting on some girls.
• 1:38:39
  Speaker 4: Not doing that dumb ship.
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 7: Sorry, you're fine the moment. Honesty, if you're gonna say
• 1:38:51
  Speaker 7: that you are something.
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 1: Be that. Yeah, consistency and thought word. Indeed, if you
• 1:38:59
  Speaker 1: if you say it, be about it. If you're about
• 1:39:01
  Speaker 1: that show.
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 3: It, don't talk about it.
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 1: Walk about it. You're gonna walk it like you talk
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 1: it like. Kamala said, huh, come on with the migos.
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 1: You know my good my good friend, Kuavo said, I'm
• 1:39:16
  Speaker 1: walking it like I talk it. You like laugh.
• 1:39:23
  Speaker 3: That's me.
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 1:39:25
  Speaker 6: I love it.
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 1: Kamala's one.
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 6: I love it.
• 1:39:29
  Speaker 4: I love you her.
• 1:39:29
  Speaker 3: Laugh at that.
• 1:39:30
  Speaker 4: Auntie at the table last.
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 1: They're playing spades, they talked ship. She's she didn't had
• 1:39:35
  Speaker 1: her a couple of juices.
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 5: That Jack Daniels, that's James Cook. Honesty.
• 1:39:43
  Speaker 1: Be what you say.
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 5: You're gonna be in reciprocity.
• 1:39:48
  Speaker 1: I like, look that closed it because it's real good.
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 6: Going on.
• 1:40:00
  Speaker 4: Sean over here clapped on my hands and nail. This
• 1:40:03
  Speaker 4: is it's crazy.
• 1:40:09
  Speaker 1: I think her name is Tita Comedian. She said, I'm vegan,
• 1:40:12
  Speaker 1: but my roles, how can I be fat and vegan?
• 1:40:17
  Speaker 1: It's because my roles are plant based?
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 4: Here doing this, this is ridiculous.
• 1:40:27
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 1:40:28
  Speaker 3: My bare minimal is to be honest, common as you are,
• 1:40:35
  Speaker 3: Be respectful of me and the people in my life.
• 1:40:40
  Speaker 4: And that's about it.
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 3: That's not bad.
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 1: Because the nigga disrespectful his ship to me. God damn,
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 1: that don't get her.
• 1:41:03
  Speaker 4: Old face lie.
• 1:41:04
  Speaker 3: They are muttin and pain If I tell you never
• 1:41:06
  Speaker 3: every day that is mutin and Pam in real life.
• 1:41:10
  Speaker 3: Like that, but.
• 1:41:14
  Speaker 4: The shimmy this time.
• 1:41:19
  Speaker 1: I love that damn show six episodes, but I.
• 1:41:24
  Speaker 4: Don't like stap my bad. I'm sorry.
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 1: That's the that's the price of entry to get to
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 1: the door. To get through the door, you gotta come
• 1:41:30
  Speaker 1: with wait more.
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 6: Than that.
• 1:41:33
  Speaker 2: The conversation for me, I'm going to I'm a piggy
• 1:41:39
  Speaker 2: piggy back off of Brandon with consistency, effort, honesty, like,
• 1:41:46
  Speaker 2: don't tell me what you think. I want to hear
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 2: that off to the highest level of pissippity.
• 1:41:53
  Speaker 1: That is hot. I don't I don't like it. Don't
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 1: just tell me what she wants me to say. So
• 1:42:00
  Speaker 1: that's what I'm gonna say. No, be real with me.
• 1:42:02
  Speaker 2: I rather you tell me a hard truth than a
• 1:42:05
  Speaker 2: soft lie.
• 1:42:06
  Speaker 1: Don't don't do me like that that.
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 5: I don't like that.
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 7: I ain't gonna see. I'm still going to post that
• 1:42:11
  Speaker 7: that quote later. Don't tell me truth, not a soft lie.
• 1:42:15
  Speaker 1: Tell me a hard truth is not a softly. At
• 1:42:23
  Speaker 1: the moment that up, you.
• 1:42:29
  Speaker 4: Listen, you got your stopping.
• 1:42:32
  Speaker 1: I'm trying. I'm trying to shake shrink. It's just I
• 1:42:36
  Speaker 1: don't like it. Don't don't lie to mean do you
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 1: see all these things? I don't don't need you want to.
• 1:42:42
  Speaker 1: I don't think I need another. And if I could
• 1:42:47
  Speaker 1: put them in my aside, take them work, I'd rather
• 1:42:50
  Speaker 1: put them on my own friends.
• 1:43:00
  Speaker 2: But yeah, like, don't don't play in my face, don't
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 2: tell me what you think I want to hear, and
• 1:43:06
  Speaker 2: don't pretend to be somebody that you're not.
• 1:43:09
  Speaker 7: That.
• 1:43:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like that, go to what Ron said, like come
• 1:43:12
  Speaker 1: come as you all, come as you don't I want
• 1:43:16
  Speaker 1: you to be.
• 1:43:16
  Speaker 7: Don't you don't let me see it, because then I'm
• 1:43:18
  Speaker 7: gonna get you to go ahead and show me that
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 7: because while you had a lie in the first but.
• 1:43:23
  Speaker 1: You had to lie.
• 1:43:24
  Speaker 4: Let me let me decide if I want to deal
• 1:43:25
  Speaker 4: with it.
• 1:43:26
  Speaker 5: What you gotta lie about, Craig, Now tell me who
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 5: you was.
• 1:43:32
  Speaker 1: You ain't gonna lie to me.
• 1:43:33
  Speaker 2: I'm one of the most fucking understanding people you're ever
• 1:43:36
  Speaker 2: meet in your life. Don't just be a man about it,
• 1:43:44
  Speaker 2: all right, y'all. Next question, just because y'all told me
• 1:43:47
  Speaker 2: not to, I wou'na do it anyway? Be going to
• 1:43:49
  Speaker 2: six round.
• 1:43:51
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I have at.
• 1:43:56
  Speaker 4: Whatever they are.
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry saying.
• 1:44:02
  Speaker 4: Okay, it's gonna be again.
• 1:44:05
  Speaker 2: Because boyfriend and I have been together for a few months.
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 2: I moved them with him a month ago and we
• 1:44:15
  Speaker 2: only had sex twice. I tried, but he's not interested.
• 1:44:20
  Speaker 2: I won three hundred dollars online gambling. He was in
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 2: the shower. I burst into the bathroom to tell him this.
• 1:44:26
  Speaker 2: He was chatting with his topless x whilest pleasuring himself.
• 1:44:31
  Speaker 2: When I opened the bathroom door, it shocked to me,
• 1:44:33
  Speaker 2: and he flung the phone across the room and it cracked.
• 1:44:40
  Speaker 2: I saw him jacking off.
• 1:44:42
  Speaker 1: I saw who he was on the phone with. I
• 1:44:44
  Speaker 1: heard her asking, babe.
• 1:44:45
  Speaker 2: What's going on. I asked him about what I caught
• 1:44:48
  Speaker 2: him doing. But he wants to argue about me breaking
• 1:44:51
  Speaker 2: boundaries and not respecting a closed bathroom and being so insecure.
• 1:44:56
  Speaker 1: That I made him break his phone. He was not
• 1:44:59
  Speaker 1: like say the beginning, bitch. She took me. He took me,
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 1:45:07
  Speaker 2: He took me places, begged me to move in, and
• 1:45:09
  Speaker 2: he promised that he would that we would get married.
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 2: Now he's bullying me for my three hundred dollars lottery
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 2: money to.
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 1: Fix his phone. Absolutely, I don't know what to do
• 1:45:21
  Speaker 1: to bring that nice.
• 1:45:22
  Speaker 2: Version of him back, that that nice this question first,
• 1:45:27
  Speaker 2: this episode. Bitch, you met that representative and moved in
• 1:45:31
  Speaker 2: with him. Y'all been to gather for a few months.
• 1:45:34
  Speaker 2: You've been living together a month.
• 1:45:36
  Speaker 1: Bitch, if you was three a few was three, got
• 1:45:41
  Speaker 1: a few months.
• 1:45:42
  Speaker 2: Y'all been living together for a month. So y'all we
• 1:45:45
  Speaker 2: know each other for a couple of months before y'all
• 1:45:47
  Speaker 2: moved in together. You know nothing about this nigga. You
• 1:45:49
  Speaker 2: don't know what makes him. You don't know what he
• 1:45:53
  Speaker 2: really You don't really know consion like like like what
• 1:45:58
  Speaker 2: did you expect?
• 1:45:59
  Speaker 1: You want the nice version of him back? Bitch? That
• 1:46:01
  Speaker 1: was his representative. He got what he wanted.
• 1:46:02
  Speaker 2: Now you you stuck pretty much, bitch, unless you got somewhere.
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 7: Else and considering more than after a few months. It's
• 1:46:08
  Speaker 7: given that you was homes so giving.
• 1:46:11
  Speaker 1: Ain't no bit giving up her ship to moving with
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 1: no nigga in a couple of months.
• 1:46:16
  Speaker 3: I'm still trying to this whole conversation. And you walked
• 1:46:19
  Speaker 3: in him jacking off to another girl on his phone
• 1:46:21
  Speaker 3: in the bathroom.
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: You had sex twice.
• 1:46:25
  Speaker 7: I would have got the fuck out of this sweetheart.
• 1:46:27
  Speaker 7: You're just a placeholder, and he's been there and he's
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 7: just a placeholder.
• 1:46:32
  Speaker 4: Ms mam ms mamma's stage left.
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 3: Hamess moments because that whatever that is, I don't know
• 1:46:41
  Speaker 3: what the fuck that that we I'm trying to figure
• 1:46:43
  Speaker 3: while we got me con fuzzled, because.
• 1:46:50
  Speaker 4: Like how we stop.
• 1:46:51
  Speaker 3: You went online and as used it told the world
• 1:46:55
  Speaker 3: that you walked in him there talking to another chick.
• 1:46:58
  Speaker 3: May one thing he was watching pulling, all right, that's
• 1:47:00
  Speaker 3: one thing.
• 1:47:01
  Speaker 1: One thing.
• 1:47:01
  Speaker 4: That's one thing.
• 1:47:03
  Speaker 7: That guy all the way to was on the phone
• 1:47:06
  Speaker 7: and he was beating off. He only threw it because
• 1:47:08
  Speaker 7: he ain't want you to see. That's why he broke it.
• 1:47:10
  Speaker 7: He broke it on his own recognizance, not George.
• 1:47:13
  Speaker 2: That was on himself.
• 1:47:14
  Speaker 1: That nigga should have had some insurance.
• 1:47:17
  Speaker 4: Well he probably did. He had to pay three.
• 1:47:21
  Speaker 1: Figure nine. He wanted him one of the special cases,
• 1:47:26
  Speaker 1: special cases. Bitch, that bitch is fired out.
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 4: We're still talking about it, sir. You cheating on me
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 4: in real life.
• 1:47:35
  Speaker 5: It was your face up, bitch.
• 1:47:36
  Speaker 1: You did it. You did it? What that man saying
• 1:47:39
  Speaker 1: on the show, he brought somebody in our home?
• 1:47:41
  Speaker 5: You're on.
• 1:47:42
  Speaker 3: I know I didn't. I send you on camera beating
• 1:47:44
  Speaker 3: off to the neckerd Nigga on FaceTime. That's bringing somebody
• 1:47:47
  Speaker 3: in my own I agree.
• 1:47:50
  Speaker 4: There was a pet TV. Yeah, that ship was funny.
• 1:47:54
  Speaker 2: That's pat funny and ship. That's how most judges should be.
• 1:47:58
  Speaker 2: My left but not your left bunch of.
• 1:48:02
  Speaker 4: Is not okay. I don't know how.
• 1:48:05
  Speaker 3: I guess he don't have that much cheek.
• 1:48:07
  Speaker 5: He ain't got too much.
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 4: Go ahead, my ham this is a hard miss, ma'am.
• 1:48:16
  Speaker 1: Cut your losses and go back to where the you
• 1:48:18
  Speaker 1: came from, because.
• 1:48:22
  Speaker 5: A few months expel yourself out of that scenario.
• 1:48:24
  Speaker 6: Baby.
• 1:48:25
  Speaker 2: Clearly, if he beating off to the accident she talking
• 1:48:26
  Speaker 2: about Baby was going on, clearly, that's who you want
• 1:48:28
  Speaker 2: to be with you.
• 1:48:31
  Speaker 1: You want to make her Joe.
• 1:48:34
  Speaker 3: Didn't do that because he threw the phone, so she
• 1:48:36
  Speaker 3: didn't know even known't evening.
• 1:48:39
  Speaker 7: And damn sure, don't want to argue with her because
• 1:48:41
  Speaker 7: I'm pretty sure you wanted the walking babe, all.
• 1:48:48
  Speaker 2: Right, last one, since I'm here, I'm to the club, y'all,
• 1:48:54
  Speaker 2: I'm at a beautiful actress. She's been in one theater production.
• 1:48:58
  Speaker 2: It was locally done in the park.
• 1:49:02
  Speaker 1: The producers us, it's in the park for me in
• 1:49:06
  Speaker 1: the park. The producer didn't have a permit. There were
• 1:49:09
  Speaker 1: no seats for the audience, no cap.
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 2: The play looked like a group of friends met up
• 1:49:12
  Speaker 2: at the park and started yelling Shakespeare at.
• 1:49:19
  Speaker 1: She was chance, she was in Chance.
• 1:49:23
  Speaker 2: And though we went out twice next to see her again,
• 1:49:26
  Speaker 2: and she sent me a PayPal request for seventy five dollars.
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 5: She's a prostitu women.
• 1:49:31
  Speaker 2: She wants me to pay for a makeup artist to
• 1:49:33
  Speaker 2: go out because Papa Rossi may recognize her from the
• 1:49:35
  Speaker 2: play and.
• 1:49:36
  Speaker 1: She has good Bye. I want her, but I don't.
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 2: I don't want the seventy five dollars sir charge to
• 1:49:43
  Speaker 2: hang to hang out?
• 1:49:45
  Speaker 1: Is this a new trend?
• 1:49:46
  Speaker 2: Should I agree to pay the seventy five dollars and
• 1:49:48
  Speaker 2: tell her it's a down payment for something else.
• 1:49:50
  Speaker 1: So I want to say, for the record, I didn't
• 1:49:52
  Speaker 1: answer the question that I'm going to because I'm gonna
• 1:49:57
  Speaker 1: just that I didn't anything. It's that was fucking stupid, as.
• 1:50:02
  Speaker 6: You think.
• 1:50:07
  Speaker 1: You carr. They say not this bitch was this bitch
• 1:50:11
  Speaker 1: was treating number three.
• 1:50:17
  Speaker 3: She waved her arms very well, she stood still and
• 1:50:22
  Speaker 3: how spotlight.
• 1:50:24
  Speaker 1: She's beauty and she's that bitch has been United States.
• 1:50:34
  Speaker 3: Sha post from somewhere else because that is this that.
• 1:50:37
  Speaker 1: Is just oh, God, damn bad. Ain't the word God
• 1:50:42
  Speaker 1: damn like and these.
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 3: People like I just understand how they go and posted
• 1:50:46
  Speaker 3: like you want.
• 1:50:46
  Speaker 2: To tell the world this, Yeah, they do because they
• 1:50:49
  Speaker 2: stupid anonymously.
• 1:50:58
  Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not getting into that. What you got
• 1:51:00
  Speaker 1: another question, Sean, I'm not answering that ship at all.
• 1:51:14
  Speaker 3: Even Well, they called and Clayton Huxtables. But the show
• 1:51:18
  Speaker 3: was called because Bill named after Bill, just like Bill
• 1:51:22
  Speaker 3: calls me. But why would you call it the Cosbys
• 1:51:24
  Speaker 3: and nobody on the name of cause.
• 1:51:25
  Speaker 2: It's called the Cosby Show.
• 1:51:26
  Speaker 1: That's what it was called. Just like Eve was called
• 1:51:29
  Speaker 1: but her name was Shelley.
• 1:51:31
  Speaker 4: Which was stupid too.
• 1:51:33
  Speaker 3: Definitely, Steve, he was called the.
• 1:51:36
  Speaker 1: Show but his name was Steve. That's all I'm saying.
• 1:51:41
  Speaker 3: That's Unfortunately this propaganda.
• 1:51:44
  Speaker 1: The bus.
• 1:51:48
  Speaker 4: I said, because little boys saying this meme real the
• 1:51:54
  Speaker 4: other day, and it was the little boy was saying
• 1:51:56
  Speaker 4: trying to.
• 1:51:56
  Speaker 3: Say five, six, seven, eight, but he kept saying fuck
• 1:51:59
  Speaker 3: six seven, it's so slippy.
• 1:52:03
  Speaker 1: I just want to I just want to watch. I
• 1:52:04
  Speaker 1: want to read, y'all. Answer to that question?
• 1:52:08
  Speaker 7: Oh okay, it says may excuse to the bathroom, just
• 1:52:14
  Speaker 7: a long way Togo.
• 1:52:14
  Speaker 1: Just watch your favorite poem.
• 1:52:16
  Speaker 3: Bro.
• 1:52:16
  Speaker 2: Nothing you said about how you met her was positive,
• 1:52:19
  Speaker 2: but you want her, not you lusting over her because
• 1:52:22
  Speaker 2: you just want to have sex with her.
• 1:52:24
  Speaker 1: Go ahead to waste your time.
• 1:52:25
  Speaker 2: It's seventy five dollars, though you'll be back crying to
• 1:52:27
  Speaker 2: us about her later.
• 1:52:31
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, buddy, you believe what this is? The bitch,
• 1:52:36
  Speaker 1: bitch bad.
• 1:52:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's what.
• 1:52:46
  Speaker 1: It's not you at one time.
• 1:52:49
  Speaker 5: You don't give it you for one, because that's how
• 1:52:51
  Speaker 5: they're gonna be crying.
• 1:52:52
  Speaker 1: Please stop me. You're smoking out the window by answer
• 1:53:00
  Speaker 1: pop popping the camera like.
• 1:53:03
  Speaker 8: This bitch.
• 1:53:05
  Speaker 3: And that's all that part all?
• 1:53:08
  Speaker 1: Wait, I got my more comment. Okay, this is the
• 1:53:12
  Speaker 1: comment for this answer. I mean, for this question.
• 1:53:15
  Speaker 2: I say karaoke sometimes, so that makes me here much
• 1:53:17
  Speaker 2: of a rock star, and she is an actress.
• 1:53:20
  Speaker 1: Keep your seventy five hours and leave her to have
• 1:53:22
  Speaker 1: delusions of grander what I said. If that's the bitch, bitch.
• 1:53:30
  Speaker 3: Killing super at least I got an actual shows.
• 1:53:38
  Speaker 1: This bitch around me and Bro Juliet. Juliet No, it
• 1:53:52
  Speaker 1: was Juliet.
• 1:53:53
  Speaker 6: No.
• 1:53:53
  Speaker 1: It was like fucking HOMEO and Juliet from Martin. That's
• 1:53:57
  Speaker 1: what it was. That's what she's been with James Earl Jackson.
• 1:54:04
  Speaker 4: Not James Earl Jackson.
• 1:54:15
  Speaker 3: They said Jesu cor.
• 1:54:20
  Speaker 1: Well Erica is going on right now. That's what we
• 1:54:25
  Speaker 1: wrap So if you have any questions for that commentary
• 1:54:29
  Speaker 1: for us, please ask Wonder at gmail dot com at
• 1:54:33
  Speaker 1: as k W A N D A p O d
• 1:54:36
  Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. You can also find us on Instagram,
• 1:54:39
  Speaker 1: TikTok and x or Twitter at wonder pot Underscore and
• 1:54:43
  Speaker 1: you can find us on Instagram. You can find us
• 1:54:47
  Speaker 1: on YouTube and Facebook at Wine and Audacity the podcast,
• 1:54:50
  Speaker 1: and we have a lot of new content coming for y'all,
• 1:54:53
  Speaker 1: more episodes into the end of the year. We're still
• 1:54:55
  Speaker 1: going strong and Aaron, hopefully we'll be back. Unless he
• 1:54:57
  Speaker 1: abandoned us too like he did. Is fucked up too much,
• 1:55:02
  Speaker 1: too much. She gonna kick you on your.
• 1:55:06
  Speaker 4: From the shady people.
• 1:55:09
  Speaker 1: Get married and want to go up for two old
• 1:55:10
  Speaker 1: weeks when they got their man Averse reason ship. But
• 1:55:13
  Speaker 1: in any event, you know it didn't look I did,
• 1:55:20
  Speaker 1: God damn it.
• 1:55:21
  Speaker 6: He okay, get my golf now right on the mic FROs.
• 1:55:31
  Speaker 6: You can't hear myself, not really so.
• 1:55:37
  Speaker 1: Any parts when we go shown them. I guess that
• 1:55:42
  Speaker 1: was my part words rough.
• 1:55:52
  Speaker 5: Little nicks on her wrist.
• 1:55:56
  Speaker 1: I thank you for coming on the second episode this
• 1:55:58
  Speaker 1: month anyway, run even thank y'all for coming on the show.
• 1:56:03
  Speaker 1: I appreciate y'all. We appreciate y'all anytime, anytime.
• 1:56:08
  Speaker 4: Ghettle here, but it's okay, ain't here.
• 1:56:10
  Speaker 1: It's in the question showing to be fine the ghetto,
• 1:56:14
  Speaker 1: the ghetto. Who shout that ghettot ghetto when I was
• 1:56:23
  Speaker 1: a young boy growing up in the gett okay. But
• 1:56:26
  Speaker 1: with that being said, we thank you all for listening.
• 1:56:28
  Speaker 1: We love y'all, and we were back next week the
• 1:56:30
  Speaker 1: first Wednesday in October with all new episodes.
• 1:56:34
  Speaker 3: Birthday only in America.
• 1:56:36
  Speaker 1: And all over the world because we were wild like
• 1:56:38
  Speaker 1: Candy Candy birth We were why you don't know me?
• 1:56:44
  Speaker 1: All right, y'all, buy y'all. They're about to go into
• 1:56:45
  Speaker 1: another Damn Song by y'all, Bye Cy