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Trauma, Truth & Taking Back His Life with Jeff Leach · Harder Than Life

• 0:07
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living.
• 0:23
  Welcome to the harder life podcast. I'm Kelly Siegel. Today's guest is a funny guy. I just new friend of mine. Jeff Leach is an award-winning actor and script writer known for his versatility and dynamic presence across stage screen and gaming from Shakespearean roles with the Royal Shakespeare company to hosting youth shows on BBC and fronting immersive documentaries. Jeff has worn many hats.
• 0:47
  You can see the downward slide of my career as well by that description as well from the Royal Shakespeare Company. He said he makes some documentaries, maybe, I don't know.
• 0:55
  It's the first time someone's interrupted my introduction. I love it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's all good. Jeff's comedic success took him from the UK to the US where he now headlines top clubs like the Comedy Cellar and Laugh Factory. As a voice actor, he's brought to life major characters in Call of Duty, Star Wars, Harry Potter and more. Currently Jeff stars as Ivar in Predator, Killer of Killers and as Pierre Southern in the upcoming Death Stranding 2.
• 1:23
  Jeff currently stars in Hulu's number one film, airing in June and opposite Norm Reedus and Ellie Fanning in PlayStation 5's next mega game title out in a couple of weeks. Wait, I had that wrong. It's July. No, no. This is me being, I'm just, this is such a wonderful read. I appreciate all these wonderful accolades. I also, I make a mean curry. I'm good on the grill. I wash every time I urinate.
• 1:49
  I gotta tell you something funny. When I first started in the personal development space, my friend, Tim's story said to me, he says, go study comedians. Yeah. He said that you guys have the, and that's the blueprint of what not you don't want your life to be like. Let's start off with a fun, with a good question. It's you, you talk about vulnerability is, and how central it is to your humor. So how do you cultivate this on stage? Because you just show aptly showed us already. Yeah.
• 2:19
  How open and unwaveringly verbose about personal issues I can be. I'll keep the answer short for you because I think it's more interesting that way. I used to be very transparent and very like reveal all on stage from a place of deep insecurity. Now I do that exact same thing, but from a place of great confidence in who I am.
• 2:40
  by implementing the changes in my life that made me a version of myself that I feel proud of. And having navigated some of my darker shadow parts, having left behind the parts of myself that didn't serve me or help me to serve others anymore. Now I can go on stage, I can be 100% relentlessly me. It's the same as the thing I was doing before. It's just better because people I think can read that it's coming from a place of true confidence rather than a place of insecurity. And a lot of people go through life doing the former rather than the latter.
• 3:08
  Three minutes into this and now you're going down the path that I wanted you to go down. This is what the heart of the life journey is. I'm not a two dimensional character, Kelly. I can do a bit of option A or a bit of option B and that's the joy, right? That is who I am. There you go, that's part of the acceptance of who I am. I'm accepting that sometimes I'm a silly twat who will tell knob gags and try and throw wonderful hosts off their beautiful intro for me because my Britishness doesn't allow me to have that many compliments thrown my way in such a short period of time.
• 3:36
  But then the next I can be quite deep. I mean, that's, isn't that what we are? None of us. And we're going to get you deep because here's, here's where I'm going to go with this is everything, all the work you've done on yourself to make it come from love. I want to hear about it because I've been through it. All the psilocybin, all the sobriety,
• 3:52
  Yeah. The therapy. I want to hear the Jeff Leach hero story because our listeners have overcome massive adversity and are continue to do that. And they're trying to go to their next best self and would love to hear it from you as well as in a funny sort of way.
• 4:12
  Okay, sure. Tell us your story. Yeah, I mean, God, it's a long one. Let me just say, first of all, I see your book in the background there, Harder Than Life. You've got two books, Happy in the Life as well. Two books, Harder Than Life and Happier Than Life. Congratulations. That is, I have a bit of imposter syndrome at the moment. I'm meant to be writing a book of memoirs. Why? Well, because I've never written a book before.
• 4:30
  But whenever something is new to me at the beginning, I can sometimes have a little bit of fear, you know, and I think I've got some fear surrounding that. Like, oh, hold on a second. Let's unpack that. Who wants to listen to my story? Yeah. I want to listen to it. I'd like to, I would have read it before this. All right, well, then I'll write it then. Talk about the first time you went on stage. I'll write you a really long email now. It would just be for you. Oh, God, it's a sub stack. He's put fucking, there's mood boards in here. This is too much. The first time you went on stage and you were scared to death.
• 4:59
  channel that person well the first time i went on stage as a stand-up um because they're different things i've been on stage as a kid acting you know that definitely preceded that but then as an adult doing stand-up the first time i wasn't scared but that's because i had taken illicit substances i'd taken some ecstasy and also drank quite a bit of whiskey this was in my days when i was still partying quite a lot so i went on stage very high
• 5:22
  And I was going to do, I got booked for an inordinately long set for someone who just got into stand up for the first time. But I did my career kind of backwards. I started out, I was a TV host for BBC before I started stand up.
• 5:37
  And so I left TV to go and do stand-up comedy to get back into my acting. And that pissed a lot of people off in the comedy industry because a lot of people would like to go from stand-up to get onto TV. And also it meant that I was afforded opportunities that I was not yet deserving of. So I would be given headline sets, 15, 20-minute headline sets on a group show or people would offer me 40-minute headliner sets when I really had no business doing that length of time because I was not yet a seasoned stand-up comedian.
• 6:05
  So the first time I went on stage, I did like 25 minutes and I was, yeah, I was very high. And, you know, at that time, I don't think it taught me the lesson it should have done, which is, you know, arrogance and ego have no place in a path of self-discovery or self-development. You know, I'm going to cut you off because I want to hear this. Yeah, it's too much. I'm clonching at the bit. I keep taking you on tangents. I'm sorry. No, no, I like it. I'll keep bringing you back. And plus, we got great editors, so they'll make us sound like we know what we're talking about. Um...
• 6:34
  So my story... It's just going to be me going, please make sure to buy the new book. Oh, he's already messaging me. He's already messaging me. He's already plugged the book. We got that. That's the clip. There you go. Get him off. If I didn't know you were sober, I would be like, what did you take before this show? I'm high on life, my friend. I think like, you know, that genuinely I can say that. I think, but it was a big shift. You've got to let go of a lot of cynicism, negativity, negativity.
• 7:02
  self-loading. Well, imposter syndrome is what you keep saying. So let's talk about- No, imposter syndrome is different, yeah. I mean, imposter syndrome just is something that new that I've never done before. Now I know I can rise to the challenge. I guess there's just a little fear of success that often holds me back, not failure in most situations. And that fear of going, well, if I do this thing, then what comes after? Well, then you have to promote that thing. You have to hope that people like it, that they want to purchase it. You have to hope that you haven't wasted time and energy putting it together. My dog's going to come and join us now.
• 7:29
  and they're talking about we're a dog friendly show yeah well she's the best thing in my life apart from my lady of course um although secretly you know i love the dog a little bit more right
• 7:41
  What's your hero's journey? Well, hold on a second. You keep getting me off these stages. I know, and I'm going to take another one because hero's journey. I don't even like the hero's journey. I think I was on what I thought was a hero's journey. I've had a hero complex my entire life. And when I dropped that and realized I'm not the protagonist of the story as well, that was a huge part in the evolution of the self and true acceptance of the self.
• 8:06
  You're dropping little freaking things that I know you've done a lot of work on yourself. So let me just take a step back. I grew up physically and emotionally abused. That's what the Heart of Life book is about. My parents beat the living crap out of me. So I grew up, I jumped on drugs, alcohol and working out to become the man that I thought everybody loved. And everybody did love him. To become the man who could protect the little boy who wasn't protected. That's what you really became. But yeah.
• 8:33
  There you go. So nobody's ever going to beat me up anymore. Exactly. Yeah. But it's that little version of yourself. That's probably still scared of it. No, no, I've healed it, man. Cause I'm going to, cause I've done the, we're going to get into psilocybin and the plant. I've done a lot of therapy and the one that really ripped it out of me was EMDR. And then some, uh, okay. Some, some five MEO that really allowed me to, I don't know what five MEO is. I apologize. It's a plant medicine, a little bit harder than the, than the psilocybin. So having said that,
• 9:03
  Tell me about your drinking and drugs. Why did you do it? When did you quit? What was the moment? That's what the listeners want to hear. Yeah, similar things to you, I guess. You know, whilst I'm grateful that I did not experience, you know, the kind of abuse you did, and I'm very sorry that you did. That sounds like an incredibly difficult thing to navigate. It's such a confusing thing for a young child as well.
• 9:26
  But I didn't experience some abuse of my own, you know, a little bit of physical, a little bit of violence, you know, there was a little bit of that at home, but not too much. But what my dad's actually, ironic, my father was like you, he was an abused child. He was beaten up on a daily basis by his father, who used to beat his mother as well, you know.
• 9:46
  So he grew up in a household where he had to get big enough or clever enough to get out of that house. And when he eventually did, he never healed that part of himself, which is actually why my father, his life after a successful life, reasonably successful in a multitude of ways, died from his late stage alcoholism a few years ago.
• 10:05
  I didn't. I didn't repeat that cycle. I appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah, I'm sorry for him. I think he deserved a much happier life. You know, he really did. He worked so hard. He was so bright. How old was he? He was in his 70s when he passed. Mid-70s. Yeah. My dad died at 46 from the same.
• 10:20
  46 yeah heartbreaking it's so sad when you can see the freedom they can have from the outside in because you know i was already a few years sober by the time my father passed from his alcoholism so um but uh yeah i think drinking drugs were escapism you know i think that's the case for a lot of people who drink really alcoholism is just a byproduct of the real issue and the real issue is some trauma that you've experienced you know so you build up behavioral
• 10:46
  patterns to protect yourself hey i'm feeling too much i i hate myself too much the voice is too loud in my own head that that um super ego you know your parents voice that's you know just telling you that you can't do this you can't do that you'll never achieve this or you're always gonna let people down that becomes like a constant dialogue inside your own mind and i found from a young age from 11 that alcohol would turn that off briefly so i started drinking pretty heavily at 11
• 11:12
  And then I started smoking weed. That came in around a bit more at 13. And then, you know, when I got older and wealthier, I could afford harder drugs. So I gave those a go as well. You know, and for quite a few years...
• 11:27
  was very highly functioning, but also very deeply depressed, like clinically depressed. According to my therapist, I probably would have been diagnosed maybe bipolar one, but I now feel completely free of that identity. Like, my therapist, just like now myself as well, having learned from him, he doesn't really like all of the different behavioral...
• 11:54
  you know, nomers like bipolar or depression or, you know, he obviously understands those things and navigates people, letting go of those things and hopefully moving beyond them. He said, look, they're all learned practices. These are all learned practices. And you can be free from those identities if you do the work. And if you are. You're doing it now. You're showing it. Yeah, no, absolutely. Yeah. So I no longer feel...
• 12:16
  I'm not clinically depressed. I'm not a manic depressive. I have days which are difficult, but I allow myself immediately a chance to feel what the emotion is, to recognize it, to assess it, to understand, oh, this bad thing happened and now I feel sad or I feel hurt or I feel frustrated or whatever it is. And then I emotionally regulate super well and super fast. And then I go, okay, okay.
• 12:39
  I can either hold on to that and be upset about it for another day, or I can just let go of it now and then look for the next positive thing and create the next positive situation. And by doing that, it's amazing. It just like spins out negative comes my way. And I just go like an airbender and I send it over there.
• 12:55
  And then I'm off onto the positive thing. So it feels great. But like I say, you know, just like you, it was six years of work and also two really life-changing psilocybin treatments that made me just go, oh, okay. I don't have to hate myself. Oh, okay. I can let go of this childlike feeling I've had for 30 years, you know, which is huge.
• 13:18
  I love what you said. You said you didn't say I am bad and I am sad. It was I feel bad. I feel sad. Yeah. So you've done a lot of work. So kudos. Just notice that one little idiosyncrasy listeners. Yeah, I wouldn't have noticed that actually. Thank you for pointing it out. And language is an important part of your healing process. I've learned, you know, intention of what you truly, truly believe.
• 13:40
  when you can be transparent with others and with yourself, things just don't hit you for as long. They don't impact you for as long, I think. And, you know, the old thing, I don't know if they said this in the UK, but the old sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me. And what you say to me bounces off. I'm rubber, you're glue. What you say to me bounces off me. And when you're as jacked as you are, even the sticks and stones don't affect you.
• 14:05
  Oh, you're funny. So was there a defining moment where you didn't hit rock bottom? You just woke up one day and said, this is enough? Oh, yeah. No, I hit rock bottom. Tell the story. Six years ago, I was still in New York. It was prior to me moving out to LA. I was performing at the Comedy Cellar, my comedy home. I love those people. They help bring me to the States. I'm having a great time. I'm performing my heroes every night. But I was deeply miserable and really, really hated myself. And there's no that.
• 14:30
  Yeah, anyway, I would drink at the end of the night, carry on drinking, we'd drink for free at the venue around the corner, the Fatback Pussycat in Greenwich Village in New York. So it'd be like four by the time I was rolling out, I'd be pretty wasted, maybe a few lines of coke, and then I'd go home and I'd just repeat cycles, rinse, repeat. And I'd feel terrible all the time.
• 14:48
  And one night I decided I didn't really want to feel that way anymore. So I drank a lot of whiskey, like a big handle of whiskey, and put away a bunch of aspirin, thinking that this was going to do something. Well, I mean, it can mess you up if you take enough. I don't know if I took quite enough. I think it was more of a cry for help than an actual attempt on my own life. Because I'm a clever man. If I really wanted to kill myself, I could do it, you know? Yeah.
• 15:12
  So I think I more just wanted to feel like I was ready to kill myself. So, you know, I ended up waking up, had vomited up sort of a hundred pills all over the floor and lots of alcohol, booze, foam, a lot of foam, weirdly reacted in my stomach, I guess a lot of foam everywhere. And then alcohol,
• 15:29
  Yeah, and then I just sort of looked around in my apartment floor. I was like, I don't even really want to die. So I've got to try living. I have to try living properly. Because I hadn't been living for three decades before that. I'd been existing. Yeah, since about the age of eight. I remember being very depressed. And this was around 38. Yeah.
• 15:50
  So I just realized, well actually no sorry I'm 41 now so this was 35 I guess when I decided to get sober. So after that I was like let me try sobriety, let me go and hit some meetings when I moved to LA, let me do the thing. So I did 30 and 30, you know 30 meetings in 30 days, I went to AA, I still go to AA now. More so lately because my partner is also sober, she's two years sober, so I've been doing a lot with her.
• 16:14
  Yeah, no, it's great. It's brought me back into the program, and I've been doing, you know, speaking for people and for meetings and helping out a little bit, you know, doing some service there. And I do a lot of that with the US vets as well. I find, like, veterans are a community that I really identify with because they have been through traumatic experiences, often of a different nature, I understand, war-related, you know, or being on the front lines. A lot of them want to try and navigate those problems. They don't want them to be... They have this drive and this determination that comes with having served in the military,
• 16:43
  But the determination, the drive becomes about finding some mental clarity and health, you know, and I respect that and I admire that. I think that's the bravest thing someone can do. So the PTSD, you know, what we whatever made you do that is probably your own form of PTSD. Anyways, this isn't a therapy session. I love that. I identify with everything you're saying.
• 17:02
  I was an upper guy. I loved my ecstasy, cocaine, alcohol, whiskey too. Mine was scotch. I just loved to go, go, go, go, go, go. Do you view any of those uppers or any of those stimulants as... Was there a good version of you on any of those things? Or was it always trouble? Oh, I was the life of the party. Everybody loved me. And the women...
• 17:25
  I bet on XC, you got your shirt off a lot, didn't you, in clubs? Yes, I have. Swinging it around his head. Yeah, and especially in New York or Chicago. Those are my fun spots. Nice. You know, I loved... My thing was I had a hole in my heart, and no amount of drugs or women could...
• 17:42
  fill it and once i figured out i could fill it and i'll thank goodness i didn't go to the lengths of of you know i say this this is my this is my soapbox it's we can fix anything but death so i'm very grateful that it didn't work and that you were here because you have great things left in you and i want to ask you this before i ask you the next question is how good is your life
• 18:06
  Oh, incredible. I mean, it's constantly growing and expanding how good it is because of that mindset, like I say.
• 18:15
  You know, when you, when you truly, when you, it's the art of letting go. I mean, all, most of the stuff we say, like you say, look, it's not a therapy session, but most of the stuff that I'm going to say is going to sound like most of what anyone who is trying to live a balanced life and has done some of the work will say, you know, they're simple things. Once you can learn to let go a little bit, once you realize you're not the central character in a story, that, that is a big one for me. And I think for a lot of entertainers as well, because ego is such a huge part of the insecurities we carry around.
• 18:43
  And also it's preyed upon in our industry, the desperation of people to be known to have. I don't know what it for me it was. I needed a room full of people to laugh and validate my shitty existence. Right. I needed people to go like, you're worthy. Look, ha ha ha. Or random applause. So acting on stage or stand up really, you know, that that really spoke to me, you know.
• 19:05
  Some people, they need the physical, they need people to see their bodies. You know, like maybe that was part of your thing is like just seeing the size. Oh, wow. So impressive. Or maybe that came after you got healthy. Were you always? No, no, no. I was always this big. Okay. Okay. I was the same thing as you. You needed to make room full of laughs. I needed to make a room full of people like me and then love me. Right, right, right. It's the same. We're very similar people. So-
• 19:26
  How was... I'm going to ask you something that nobody would ever ask you. How scary was it? Eight and a half inches. Oh, sorry, go ahead. I apologize. From the floor. How scary was it to perform the first time sober? Oh, yeah. That is a great question. Definitely more nerve-wracking the first time. Now it's how I prefer to perform. I've dabbled back and forth with California sober, like smoking weed for years. So there's been periods where
• 19:55
  As much as I'm sober from alcohol and hard drugs, yes, I've smoked a little marijuana medicinally, you know. I haven't been doing that for quite a while. So that's even more recently, actually, in the last sort of six months, I sort of stepped away from weed again. And that's made me go, oh, this is the best way for me to exist in general, just as a person and also on stage.
• 20:14
  First time was very scary because that safety blanket wasn't there. You know, if people didn't like what I was going to do, then I had to just be alone with those thoughts. But again, I find that anytime I do something, like I consider to be scary, as soon as I do it, I go, that wasn't scary at all. It's so good.
• 20:30
  Yeah, I'm a thrill seeker anyway. I like being put into those, you know, awkward. I like being thrust into awkward situations. Hey, something's going on and someone needs to help control the situation. Get up there and make these thousand headless chickens snap to attention and work together to get out of this problem. I thrive in a space like that.
• 20:50
  Definitely a crisis person, you know? But that's obviously because part of me is a little bit broken. Where I actually find it difficult to exist in a comfortable way is sitting on my own peacefully, just having some moments. Do you know what I mean? Put me in front of a thousand people on stage. Easy. Easy. That's not a problem. But like, you know...
• 21:10
  I've said it a million times in my book, the happiness is in the three S's, stillness, silence, and solitude. Happier Than Life, available right now from all good bookstores. If you can master that, you can master anything. I sat here Saturday at my house with no music on,
• 21:26
  know nothing just my thoughts and my feelings and i live a great life but i was processing something yeah yeah and uh it's hard i mean you're meditating that's literally meditation yeah yeah i do it all the time do you meditate not enough not not remotely enough no it's actually one of the last parts of the piece uh the puzzle for me i feel like i've almost completely locked down emotional regulation so nothing sets me off anymore i'm
• 21:51
  Gone is the road rage. I drive no faster than like six over the limit now, anytime I'm like, you know, I'm very peaceful in my engagements with others, whether I know them well, or I have to work with them, whatever it is. It's really now just meditation. Cause I actually got told you'll love this. I hope. Maybe you'll think I'm mental now. I mean, you already think I'm a little bit nuts.
• 22:17
  So on my second major psilocybin trip, I've had a few trips, but right. Yeah, that's my next question, by the way. I channeled. So I channeled. So I spoke to an entity. And it was very weird. It spoke back through my throat. I tested myself. I was trying to say other words and completely different sentence structures than I was trying to force out would come out. It felt pretty trippy. And on the second one, I said the second time of that experience, the first time it was very, like, intense and a bit over the top and I didn't really know what was going on.
• 22:47
  When I tried mushrooms again, seven grams, and had another channeling experience, which was in a hotel in Tokyo, I had a conversation with the entity that I was talking to, and I said, can we just talk telepathically so I don't, this hurts me to talk through my throat. When you talk through my throat, he went, yeah, of course. And we started talking. I said, why are you? I said, are you just my subconscious? Are you an aspect of me? Are you a god? Are you a higher power? You've got to be something. And I realized that you could just be me. I'm just on drugs, and therefore it could just be me high on psilocybin. Is that what it is?
• 23:17
  And he was like, no, but good, you know, good that you're being self assessing like that is he was like, I'm an entity like you different to you, but similar, you know, like a living entity. I'm on a planet far, far, far away across the galaxy. And you can develop the ability to channel to talk like this. You have humans have have abilities. Yeah.
• 23:38
  infinitely vastly beyond what they use their minds for um you've just forgotten how to do it and he was like sit down and meditate you need to breathe and you need to chant this word and you need to look into your right height pupil in front of a mirror and just and meditate you should just start doing that for hours breath and meditation are the two secrets for you to have the powers
• 23:58
  And you didn't listen? What's wrong with you, Jeff? I think I'm a bit scared. It's like anything else. There's a part of me. And also, yeah, listening to Space Homie, I don't know if he's got good intentions or nefarious intentions. Here's my belief, right? I truly believe... Here we go. Why would we be alone in this universe? A...
• 24:17
  Sorry, I've turned it to a conspiracy podcast. But why would we be alone in the universe? A, that's bullshit. Anyone who's served in the Air Force knows that we're not alone, right? Anyway, so we're definitely, there's other beings out there from other planets.
• 24:31
  I truly believe that humans have innate abilities, whether it's telepathy or whatever. Some might be a bit more psychically aligned than others are. This can be innate or it can be a developability. What I do know is when you get a group of humans together and they unite, they feel better. When you share music, vibration, song, dance, all these simple things, right? Let's take the woo-woo out of this for a minute and the conspiracy and let's just look at it like...
• 24:56
  being with other people and laughing in a group environment makes everyone feel good. It's the energies, parties around the room. So I know energies exist, whatever we call magic and sorcery and all that shit. You know, I think there's probably some small modicum of truth somewhere in there at the base end of it. So I truly believe that our brains are capable of connection. You see there's studies, a decent data research on twins having like telepathic links and kids with autism, you know, people who are on the spectrum and neurodivergent having
• 25:25
  special abilities because they're less attuned to their body and more attuned to the universe in general. That's why they're sort of not necessarily as present in some ways. So I truly believe if you develop...
• 25:35
  the powers through meditation and breath work, your body could start to do shit you didn't even know it was possible or capable of doing. It's a theory. It's a scientific theory, at least. It's not one that I'm settled on. That's why I'm not a complete lunatic, right? But as a theory, I think it's a pretty solid one. So why wouldn't there be beings across the universe that absolutely could have spent their entire... They could be 10 billion years older than us for a start, and they could have spent 5 billion in those years focusing on the art of...
• 26:02
  psychic, you know, meditation and mind work. They might have brains the size of houses. They might be floating around with tentacles and brain-sized houses. And he's sitting on that planet and he's going, hey, I've got one. I've got one. And it comes channeled through to you through psilocybin. Well, yeah, I basically forced the door open with a big hammer. And he's saying, don't do it with psilocybin. Do it with meditation and breath work. Eventually, you could do the same thing if you work on it for a period of time. And that's probably what all these...
• 26:28
  prophets and enlightened people do they spend decades of their lives dedicated to those practices and then they i am one with the universe and blah blah whereas you know i haven't done it i've been to like three pilates classes and uh you know a hot yoga doesn't make me uh doesn't make me when we get done with this i'll send you a free uh thing to the daily calm i do a 10 minute meditation twice a day and it's just just give it a shot yeah so i would tell you my producer and i both believe in god and i would tell you that was god talking to you
• 26:57
  Yeah, and listen, God, or it could be, you know, for me, it's a higher power, but I completely understand the concept of God, actually. But I do believe in aliens, too, so don't think that I'm getting normal. Why wouldn't God have created aliens? Of course, yeah. And I truly believe that whatever that power is, when I took psilocybin, I rejoined it on one of my trips. I left my body completely. I became one with the one energy of all things.
• 27:20
  You would call it God. Some people might call it Shakti, Chi, Spirit. They might call it Vishnu or Allah. It doesn't really matter. It's all the same thing in my mind. It's just one energy that permeates everything. We're all made up from it. God is inside all of us is what the wording I would use for you, for instance. And I agree with that. I think that God is in all of us. We are all God. We're all part of it. We're all sons and daughters of the same one energy. And it's love. And it's just a love. And it's just love. That's all it is. And it felt great.
• 27:49
  And my bathroom is just love everybody and tell the truth. So did you, do you take these, the psilocybin? Because I get asked this a lot. Did you take this under doctor supervision or did you just- No, no. I'm the Jeffrey supervision. The Jeffrey, yeah. A little-
• 28:05
  get him to the greek reference i got it what's in it heart opium it's also my name but yeah no yeah under jeff's supervision yeah you know what i'm talking about i am a fully licensed jeff by the way i should say that and and i wouldn't suggest anyone do what i do unless you have a fully licensed jeff present um no i took i i just have seven grams of you know shrooms i take them and i go and be away
• 28:28
  Yeah, that's what I did both times. And I'd just sit and be peaceful. And then when I felt myself tripping, I would go and lay down and close my eyes and leave my body and become one with God and all those great things. And honestly, dude, I mean, I like the personal experience. I'm not suggesting anyone else do that.
• 28:46
  What I do know is that these like psilocybin, just like ketamine infusion therapy, have like 100% success rate when it comes to healing people with trauma, first responders, military personnel, vets with PTSD, 100% success rate. So I know it's a medicine. I know it connects you to the greater powers of the universe, you know. As long as you're not doing it for fun.
• 29:09
  you know by the way i might make it sound like i'm a psychonaut who's tripping every weekend i've i've had three of those big psilocybin trips in the last six years do you know what i mean so no it works so yeah so i'm not like trying to do this or every weekend this is not something i'm like i haven't addled my brain with psychotics or anything like that on you know whatever so it's legal here in michigan by the way i'm in michigan today i have a home in florida but i
• 29:33
  In Michigan, they legalized ketamine and psilocybin for PTSD. So this does work. What he just said is actually correct. And I will share a story with you that I have a fear of flying, which is weird because I flew all the time. But I was in two incidents that scared the crap out of me where I hit downdrafts where the plane just drops a thousand feet like that.
• 29:57
  And they happened in the same week, which is unheard of. So I got this crazy fear of flying and I was stuck in the storm and my buddy goes, here, take this little bit of chocolate psilocybin. He goes, it'll cure it. I'm like, if I get on this plane and I start tripping out,
• 30:16
  I'm going to kill you. So of course I take it. Your buddy takes this, take this. This is, and I took it and it was, we went through a storm. This plane bounced like a low rider and a Dr. Dre video. But I'm telling you right now, it,
• 30:30
  cured my fear of flying i was up dancing they're like sir you got to sit down i'm like i'm good that's great and so again i wouldn't take it recreational but there is some message but sometimes on a plane you just want to have a little merengue i mean i love it it's all tight and small and i was happy so i guess it was exactly what you said earlier do the thing that scares the hell out of you but with a little chocolate mushrooms
• 30:55
  You'll be okay. Well, I'm joking around and having fun. I'm glad you had that experience. I know there are some people who might, by taking a small dose of mushrooms, might have had a, it could have gone the other way as well. I'm glad it went good for you. But yeah, I would never tell anyone to take drugs on the plane. I'm just telling people, do it under supervision of a doctor. This stuff works, man. If nothing else works, plant medicine literally is a medicine and it works.
• 31:21
  Unless you have psychosis in your family bloodline. So if your immediate relatives or people in your hereditary bloodline have psychosis or suffer from psychosis, you know, maybe they have split personality disorder or things like that, it's highly recommended not to take it because it can exacerbate the psychoactive nature of that, potentially.
• 31:44
  Maybe that's what happened with me. I'm just laughing. I had an actual voice just talk to me. We have a comedian, and my day job is an IT cybersecurity guy. We have a comedian and IT computer geek talking about the right and wrong. I'm a computer geek as well, man. Different type, though. I play lots of video games, and I'm very nerdy when it comes to mean culture, whereas you know how to code.
• 32:05
  Oh, you would fit right in with all my guys. They play games all night. Let's jump into, so this story is magnificent. So what personal story do you find hardest, but most important to tell on stage? Is it the psilocybin?
• 32:20
  Yeah, I mean, in terms of... So basically the reason for the first psilocybin trip was my best friend Pete took his life, he killed himself, and this was almost two years ago, maybe... Sorry bro, I'm sorry. After a year of really navigating that feeling, I mean I talked him off a ledge one year earlier, so basically convinced him not to take his own life.
• 32:43
  And then we had a year of him going into various treatments. He tried all of these things, by the way. He tried psilocybin. He tried ketamine. He tried DMT. He did all that. Didn't have the same outcome for him. That's what I'm saying. Not everyone has a success rate with it. It's my dad. The same thing. And then three weeks after he took his life, my dad died from his alcoholism. So that month was not the best month I've ever had. Let's just go with that. And these are not the first people I've lost. I've got lots of... In fact, I've got...
• 33:10
  tattoo one of them here as another dead friend from when she was a young girl and you know there's just a lot of dead friends in my life so after that period after those two men who meant the most to me these are the two men I love most in the world I was like how do I navigate this pain and I couldn't
• 33:26
  I found myself really struggling even though I was in therapy. I really couldn't shake. Yeah, I couldn't shake this feeling that I needed to have saved them. I failed in every way. You know, very much my own ego was battling me and you know, I love these men more than anything. The two most important people are gone. Like two most important men in my life are gone. And I couldn't save either of them. I'm useless.
• 33:52
  I felt a lot of... I started to have little twinges of suicide ideation again myself. And I was like, I'm not going down that road again. So I'm just going to go to the woods. I rented a cabin in the woods on Airbnb. And I took seven grams of mushrooms up with me. I took a buddy, you know, who also wanted to trip. He was navigating some other stuff. And...
• 34:12
  Yeah, we sort of went cheers and took our mushrooms and then we went into separate rooms and I did a lot of crying, a bit of dancing. I had some stomach issues that I got rid of. Oh, I released trauma that I've been carrying around in my stomach for 30 years for sure. I had like a liquid came out. It was wild. It was a physical representation, but it was also like, oh, I've been carrying around pain. I truly believe all that, you know, people carrying around emotion and trauma in their bodies.
• 34:40
  You know, some people go for a massage and you just get that knot out and they start crying. It's just like a release of, I mean, they're not crying from the pain of the massage, you know. Anyway, so I had that. It was great. So that was the first time. It was really like, it's either do this or am I going to slip back into a place where I'm considering hurting myself again? And I didn't want to do that.
• 35:00
  So I chose the latter. That was really the beginning of my life for the first time in about three decades. Even though I've done all these crazy things and all these milestones, I haven't really experienced any of them because I wasn't present for any of them because I was always in my own head, always worrying about the past or being concerned about the future that I never lived presently. And then that started, like I say, around 38. I was like, oh, I'm finally living again.
• 35:26
  So hold on. I got to jump in there. Cause that's literally what I, I call it my rebirth, but it's really, I think just really who I, who I was. So present and really living are the two things that you just said. I want to remind everybody. So, so here he is, he, he got sober, had his imposter syndrome, got sober. And now he said, he just said he's more present and he's really living. And that's the number one thing I would tell you in my life. I've,
• 35:51
  I feel like I live every day and I get to be my best, most authentic self. I'm scared. I feel like an imposter. I feel like, why am I doing all this? I look on the internet and I see everybody living their best life. Everybody's clinking a drink. And here I am on with Jeff telling funny stories about taking fricking psilocybin on an airplane, but I love my life. And I got a new friend here. Yeah.
• 36:17
  I'm going to hit you with some fun questions about comedy because I've never met someone to be so open and honest. So I'm going to hit you. Right. Okay, please do. What's the most surreal moment you've ever experienced on stage? I've seen some horrible. I mean, there's one recently, actually. I had an old chat. I don't really get. No one tries to fight me anymore. No one. When I dropped.
• 36:38
  Well, no, no, because when I when there was confrontation previously, when people would heckle, I would be confrontational. I would shoot them down, but I'd roast them. I'd make them feel small, embarrassed, whatever, to try and take out. I don't do that anymore. Every time I get on stage, I'm grateful, deeply grateful. I'm like everyone in this room, even the drunks, even the hecklers, they came here to laugh. They came here to have a good time. They paid their money. So I treat them with that love. So someone heckles. I make them a part of it. I bring them in and I go, what do you need? You need attention right now.
• 37:05
  let's find out why you need attention. Let's give you some. Therapy with Jeff. Let's make you feel part of it. Yeah, it is. And it's therapy through humor. But there was one not that long ago, maybe about six months, eight months ago. And there's a clip actually up on my TikTok and my Instagram of this old gentleman. It's sort of old man tries to fight me is the clickbait title.
• 37:25
  But it really was this chap was him and his wife wouldn't shut up. They were just talking the whole show. They were drunk. They're in Vegas. This was a comedy set out there drinking, you know, slurring, talking. She's talking at a volume where we can we can all hear it. Everyone in the room, there's like 300 people in this room that can all hear this.
• 37:42
  And I'm like, oh, come on, folks, what's going on? What are you chatting about over here? Do you know what I mean? He's like, oh, we're trying to do the bill, you know, trying to pay the bills. So they were trying to pay the check and they were like talking loud. I guess he was a little harder hearing. And I was like, oh, my God, Jesus. What do you need? Do you need me to help you with the money? So I start making a joke of like looking at that, adding it up and going, do you need to split this? Are you at that stage yet? Or are you just starting dating? Anyway, and he's like, he gets annoyed. He gets annoyed that I'm making a joke of the situation. He's like, oh.
• 38:10
  fuck up man yeah who are you meant to be are you a comedian and i'm like well for some people yeah i mean for other people i'm the man of their dreams sir so who knows the night's still young you know and so i keep bantering with him i'm just making jokes i'm being funny it's a comedy club and he was getting really annoyed and at some point he stands up and he puts his fists out and shakes them at me which no one has ever done since the 1930s no one's ever shaken a fist
• 38:35
  These goddamn kids, why are they? It was so hilarious. And I thought he was going to fight me like a 1920s pugilist. Anyway, he ended up getting kicked out. But the beauty was the bouncer, the comedy seller who had to kick him out, was also an elderly gentleman. So it's just these two old men tussling.
• 38:52
  on the way out and I didn't want them to get kicked out I didn't want that to happen but the clip was very funny you know it did very well and it reminded me that it doesn't matter how much love you pour into the world some people are just having a bad day not in a good place but if you never drop the understanding that it's got nothing to do with you like him and his wife shouting each other and being all aggressive and then him mouthing off and them not having a good relationship that night had nothing to do with me so I was impervious to his anger.
• 39:19
  I was also impervious to his fist because he was about 700 years old. And if he punched me, he probably would have turned into dust.
• 39:25
  But I wasn't concerned about it because I knew it was not going to come to that. Do you know what I mean? We've all been there, though, Jeff. You remember just add alcohol, man. Just add alcohol. We don't even know. It's wild how people, but people carry around all these frustrations and angers. And then they go out and they get a little bit boozy. And they see some red coat like me up on stage prancing around, you know, like an effeminate sausage. And they're like, I need to make this man feel a little bit smaller. So that's what happens.
• 39:52
  Who do you look up to from the UK? Who do you look up to as mentors and inspiration in the comedy field?
• 39:59
  Brad Garrett, he's six foot seven. So he's the only man in comedy I do look up to. Everyone else is shorter than me. You know what his name is like. Yeah. No, he actually, he is a gentleman I look up to. He's a great, he's a great, and he is a friend and he's a wonderful human being. So Brad is definitely a comedian that I look up to and an actor who I think is, you know, very, very multi-talented and he's just a good soul. He's a good human being. I thought you were going to say Brad Williams.
• 40:24
  He's the opposite end of the scale When I'm laying down I look up to Brad Williams But if I'm standing and upright It's always Brad Garrett But no I look up to I mean most of the comics That were my heroes they've already passed on Unfortunately you know Greg Giraldo George Carlin Richard Pryor these were men that I absolutely Adored and unfortunately they're all gone So you know I'm into I like dead comics that's the only time I like them While they're still living Ugh
• 40:53
  boring well let's celebrate you while you're alive what exactly where do you see comedy evolving in the next 10 years you know what's interesting is i think look ai has massively impacted two of the industries that i'm a part of so as an actor as an on-screen actor i know that a lot of the crew a lot of the back end on production uh production studios have just lost their jobs especially when it comes to the post-production elements um to ai
• 41:18
  I also know that as a video game voiceover artist as well, so many jobs have been lost to AI over there. Like we're talking 65% to 80% of the business have been put out of work in the last few years. It's wild. One thing that I think will truly stand the test of time is live performance. That's the only thing AI can't do.
• 41:38
  They can create jokes, they can create clips, they can make fake stand-ups, they can make fake stand-up specials. They will be able to do all of that, even with the intonation and the tone and the subtleties. It will never be as funny as human written, but they could get a human to write the baseline script and then get an AI-created comedian to tell it.
• 41:55
  That will all happen. All of that stuff will happen. The one thing you can't replace is me with a microphone standing on stage telling jokes in a very real and visceral way and bouncing off people immediately and doing funny things and hecklers, comebacks, and crowd work, and all of that. That can't be recreated by AI. So I think we're going to see in the next 10 years the industry in general, in entertainment, video games, TV shows, films, and even online clips of comedy,
• 42:22
  becoming more AI generated to a degree where we don't know what's real and what's not anymore. But people will start putting their dollars into live performance. Cause they go, you know what? I just want to see, I want to get spat on in the front row. You know, they want to fight you. That's pay my, no, no fighting. That's a different show. If you want that, go to another comedian show. For me, there's no fighting. It's just lover. Just lover. Oh,
• 42:44
  Who was the guy that Jim Carrey played that used to wrestle people? Andy Kaufman. Andy Kaufman. They're going to the Andy Kaufman show. So what makes performing in the United States different from the UK? British comedy. We're at long storytellers, long-winded storytellers, as you've probably seen from this podcast, dear listener. I apologize. Actually, I've been trying to be good. I've been trying to pause and allow for responses.
• 43:12
  I realize I'm not doing well enough in that. Thank you for the feedback. But we like telling long-winded stories and we build up to big punchlines and we're quite flamboyant in our performance as well. Lots of act-outs is what you call it. I love the act-out stuff. I've continued that in my stand-up. But as soon as I got to New York City to the comedy cellar, you need a laugh every 10 seconds. Ideally, every seven seconds.
• 43:34
  At least every 15. Of course in New York, it's got to be. You have to. You have to have a tag and a line and a boom and a little aside and a little moment and boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Then punchline. Do you know what I mean? And I really cut my teeth as a comedian in New York. I'd only been doing stand up for four years prior to that, before moving to America and starting the Comedy Center, which is, again, an honor I should not yet have been given. But fortunately, the booker and the owner really liked me when I did a tryout. And, you know, the rest is history.
• 44:02
  I didn't see your cooking lessons that you give on your stories. So that's what happened. Oh, I do love cooking. I'm eating healthy right now. I saw. I was watching you prep for this. Oh, nice. Yeah, and I've been working out with this trainer as well three times a week. But I'm not going to be as big as you. But I'm definitely going to get pretty buff in the next few months. It's going to be a gross size very rapidly.
• 44:24
  The way you were eating, the way you were preparing your meals, heck yeah, you will. Keep eating those vegetables. I'll have my shirt off right next to you before you even know it. We're going to be at the club together, sober at the club. Sober, yeah. Shirts off. I'd like to come see you perform. I'll come see you next soon. Please. Yeah, please do. What's the biggest misconception about comedians?
• 44:46
  that we're funny off stage I think that's a big one there's a lot of comedians in the comedy circuit who are funny off stage but they're always on they're always being that elevated version of themselves I find that deeply tiring and actually most comedians I know are not the funniest people I know off stage my funniest friends are not stand up comedians for sure
• 45:08
  That's funny. Yeah, yeah. Can you name any names of someone who's super funny on stage that is a bore? Oh, no. And I don't think I'd do that anyway. I'm not going to cut someone out like that. Yeah, yeah. Look at you trying to get a clip. I can tell you comedians I don't like. That's different. But I won't. No, I mean, if they're funny on stage, you know, like...
• 45:29
  Yeah, most comics though, there's a lot of depression, there's a lot of addiction in the world of stand-up comedy. I mean, there's just a lot of addicts and a lot of depressed people. So that doesn't always make for the most joyful contingent to hang out with offstage, unfortunately.
• 45:50
  If you could pursue one creative outlet for the rest of your life, whether it be acting, voice work, or comedy, what would it be and why? Well, I'm an actor through and through. I always was and I always will be. That's the thing I love doing because you can tell any story through acting, whether it's on stage, on camera, or in the voice booth. I get to play such a wide range of characters. Whereas as a stand-up, you can only play yourself. You can only be you.
• 46:18
  Really. And I'm all right with me. I'm happy with me now. I don't necessarily need the laughter and validation from other people at this stage of life. I love doing it. That's why I do it. And I think it's a service. Stand up, you know, helping people to laugh at some stuff that might be like you say, talking about things like abuse, talking about things like navigating heartbreak, talking about divorce or engagements falling through or raising a child and having that child taken away from you.
• 46:48
  drug addictions but i talk about all those things on stage and i make them funny and light so that other people can empathize with me hopefully but also leave that show a little bit changed for the better themselves that's the that's the idea thinking and then yeah yeah and they go you know what i laughed at that thing maybe it's not so heavy maybe i can i can talk more openly about this with my partner or i can maybe i'll talk to a therapist like that weirdo on stage was talking about doing you know whatever it is all right well you went there so
• 47:11
  You've talked about storytelling being your life calling. So what's the one story you're still scared to tell publicly, but you know you eventually will? Break it here on the Harder Than Life show. Yeah, I mean, actually, it is what I mentioned earlier. I haven't yet to do some good stand-up about my dad dying. I think the story, talking about my death of my father and my best friends,
• 47:35
  But really the relationship with your father, it's a hard one. It's so conflicted. I love my dad deeply with all my heart. And also he was a very checkered man with a very checkered past. And he struggled with emotional regulation in a big way.
• 47:50
  You know, my dad died so young, I felt like he just got cheated and never lived a day in his life. Right. So I would love to hear some funny dad jokes. I don't know why. I just, I would, because... Even if you had a good relationship with your dad, it's hard to leave a parent. I had a great relationship with my dad. My stepdad was the jerk. My dad was amazing. He did his best he could. He just loved drugs and alcohol, and he couldn't show up for himself, let alone me. When you tell those jokes, send them to me,
• 48:20
  I'll tell you if they're funny because I love, I love, I'm one of those guys that I just, I love the laugh. Like I love standup comics. I admire them. I watch how they deliver their messages. I go to every one of them. I'd rather do that than go to a concert any day of the week. I love the laugh because laughter calms you down. It's probably even better than the meditation.
• 48:44
  So you turn on the Comedy Central or turn on the Comedy Central on Sirius and just laugh away. Laughter is the best medicine. I'm 100% with you that laughter is the best medicine. I would question whether it's better than meditation only because when you're laughing at the jokes of a comedian, you're laughing at their experiences. When you meditate, you'll be infinitely more present for your own experiences. That's the harder thing to do. But yeah, in terms of instant gratification, of course, going to a comedy club, you can't beat it. It's wonderful.
• 49:14
  You can't laugh at yourself, though. Who can you laugh at? And you can't take life that seriously. But then everyone would have to start stand-up comedy to go through that process. And I can't afford that much competition in my industry. So you guys are going to have to get your therapy elsewhere, right? So you've joked that comedy was your ticket to social status and affection as a teen. Yeah, as a kid, yeah. What do you think teenage Jeff would say about the man you've become today?
• 49:43
  I think that's a good question. Teenage Jeff would say about me. I think he'd be impressed. I'd be impressed by how strong I am physically, but also like just in terms of resilience. I was quite a soft kid in some way. How able I am. He'd think it's cool that I've done all the tactical stuff that I've done.
• 50:05
  I did a lot of CQB courses and advanced firearms courses and things like that. I think he'd like that. That would be kind of cool and feel a bit alien to that kid. But mostly he'd be really like grateful that the voice in the head is gone. That's the thing that, yeah, like he would say, what's it like to wake up every day and not have a voice in your head telling yourself that you're not good enough?
• 50:27
  And that makes me sad to say out loud because I think about, I always think about the relationship the other way around, not what the kid would think about me. I always think about how I need to step up or be present for the kid versus myself or the child self. It's hard. Yeah, yeah. It's the shadow work. You know what my teenage self would say about me? He would say, you are a dork.
• 50:47
  And I really, because I'm boring. I'm healing is boring. And life is boring when you're healing, but it's so good. I understand what you're talking about. Yeah. You don't have chaos, you know, but I don't think I disagree that it's boring. I think it's the, it's the most, it's,
• 51:05
  Man, it's the most exciting. When you have those little epiphanies, those little moments where you go, damn, I've just let go of that thing. I've just navigated beyond that thing. Oh, wow, I can now do this that I couldn't do before because I am grown enough to catch myself or regulate or whatever it is. That's a good perspective.
• 51:20
  It's super exciting, man. But what you're saying is like the younger version, you might think what you're doing now is a boring lifestyle, when in reality, it's actually a probably more exciting lifestyle. I guarantee you get to have memories now of the best things you get to do. And you probably have the financial support, the opportunity, the relationships to enjoy a vaster range of exciting stuff than you ever could have done as a youngster.
• 51:45
  well you remember jeff what it was like you had a hammer and everything was a nail and you that's that's what you did you go ahead and you you would start drama and fights because that made you feel alive and now right i just let shit fall and be what it is i let things happen and i don't get i don't i don't attend every fight i'm invited to it just keeps it peaceful and you look at what that person just said something about you aren't you gonna do something
• 52:10
  Nope. You sound very free. You sound very free, man. Oh, that's a great, that's a great freedom. Great feeling to have freedom. And I want to say that to you. I'm, I'm forget the teenager. I'm proud of you because. Thank you, man. I'm glad that you're here and you started off funny and well, but you, you, you, there's some depth to you.
• 52:29
  And you've done the work and I can tell because I've done a lot of work and I can see it. I want to ask one more question and then we'll get you out of here. But when you step off stage after crushing a set, which you do every single time, what's the internal monologue running through your head that no one else hears? But give me the duality. What was it like when you were high versus now when you're not?
• 52:52
  Well, first of all, I appreciate your vote of confidence. I wouldn't say that I crush it every time I go on stage. Again, that Britishness, I can't accept that as a false compliment. I do well. I always make people laugh, but some people love me more than others. We'll see. Um...
• 53:07
  But yeah, I mean, the wins are of more value and of more weight when you have achieved them without any kind of, you know, altered state or any kind of, you know, it's, you can believe what happened more. You can viscerally receive that success in the moment because you can witness it on the people's faces. You're not high. You're not drunk. You're not in an altered state, you know.
• 53:31
  So yeah, it means infinitely more to me to be... Here's the difference. I don't worry about what happens when I come off stage. I'm more grateful going on the stage, which has meant that I do now. I haven't had a bad set for years now because I never go on stage with any issues.
• 53:47
  I go on stage with gratitude for the audience being there. And they feel that. The audience feels that. And even if they're not 100% into what I'm saying or my material, if they disagree on something or they have a different viewpoint or they don't like me talking about sexuality, that throws them off a little bit or whatever. There's a multitude of reasons why people might not be into everything I talk about on stage. They at least leave going, well, he was entertaining us. And you could tell he was happy to be up there making us laugh.
• 54:14
  And people respect that, you know. So that's the difference. By going on sober, I always know it's going to be a better experience now, you know. I bet you're getting better because you can remember what you're saying. 1000%. I found my voice as well, which is different. For a comedian, that's what you're trying to do. And that took until about a year or two ago.
• 54:32
  which, you know, I've been in the industry for 15 years as a stand-up, 20 years in entertainment. And, yeah, it took 13 years of stand-up to get to a place where I go, oh, I've got my voice now. Great. I can talk about anything and be comfortable in it because I know who I am and I'm comfortable with who I am. Constantly evolving as well. And keep going. Yeah, I mean, you're not a finished version. There are no limits.
• 54:53
  that's what they always say the sky's limit there are no limits you're gonna keep evolving and evolving evolving keep doing it keep growing and I want to live to 100 years old and I hope I'm not the same man at 100 as I am at 40 you know I mean that would be a very sad existence I don't want to stay the same for 60 years
• 55:08
  What's next for you besides the Hulu stuff that we said in the intro? Yeah, so Predator Killer Killers is already out on Hulu. Still trending number one around the world. It's an incredible feature film, animated film. I play Ivar in that. A big Viking called Ivar.
• 55:24
  And then Death Stranding 2 just came out a few days ago, lauded with five-star reviews from all the critics across the board. It's Hideo Kojima's new video game, and I play PS Southern in that, alongside Norman Reedus and Elle Fanning. Great cast. And then I'm going to be coming out and doing some stand-up all over the country, actually. I've got shows in West Covina over this upcoming weekend, headlining 3rd, 4th, and 5th of July out there. I mean...
• 55:53
  Columbus Ohio on the 31st and Cincinnati on the 30th 30th and 31st of July at the Funny Bones you can find all this info on my socials at Jeff Leach and then I'm going to be in Vegas headlining out there July 14th to 20th and then again in August I'll be out there for a week at Brad Garrett so plenty of opportunities to see me doing some stand up live I've got a film coming out at the end of the year developing a video game writing a book
• 56:20
  Wow. That's most of the things that are going on. I'm going to hold you to that book because what I just heard in one hour needs to be on print. We didn't even talk about it. I died. I had my heart stop at a festival. I came back from that. We got so many things. I almost got killed in Lithuania. My life has been
• 56:40
  Interesting. As you well know, when you add lots of drink and drug taking to an already interesting existence, you know, with lots of travel and meeting different cultures and doing different types of things, some of those stories get a little bit lunatic. And so would you take any of it back? No, absolutely not. I mean, when you. Well, yeah, because you don't.
• 57:00
  The version of myself that I am now, I'm very happy with, and I hope I'm going to be even better as time goes on. But I wouldn't be this if I hadn't gone through, you know, the various things, the various stages. Like, you have to have negative and darkness to realize positive and light. You know, you need that. So I'm grateful for it, and yeah.
• 57:19
  But I'm not looking to have any more of that, you know, those dark times. I'm happy. We'll get together and we'll have positive, grateful times that will help a bunch of people. So, again, I'm just going to tell you that I'm grateful for you. I'm glad to call you friend now. And I will come see you. And if there's ever anything we can do to support you, help you, if the next time you're stuck on something, reach out. But, man, it was really, this was fun.
• 57:45
  I appreciate it, man. Thank you. Yeah, it was good to talk to you, dude. And I love what you're doing. I love that you've turned your own story into a successful podcast that has impact for other people. It's important. More men need to be talking about that stuff as well. You know, it's a good time. Appreciate it, man. Appreciate it. Until next week, be harder to life, everybody.
• 58:01
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.